If Operating Systems were Airlines
Lisa
b:airline.rf
[The following was taken from "Government Technology" magazine
last year.]
DOS AIR:
All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the
plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when
it hits the ground again. Then they grab the plane again, push
it back into the air, hop on, et cetera.
MAC AIRWAYS:
The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the
same, feel the same, and act the same. When asked questions
about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know,
don't need to know and would you please return to your seat
and watch the movie.
WINDOWS AIRLINES:
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all
very attractive, the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense.
Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds,
and at 20,000 feet it crashes without warning.
OS/2 SKYWAYS:
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective
passengers milling about. Airline personnel walk around,
apologizing profusely to customers in hused voices, pointing
from time to time to the sleek powerful jets outside the
terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good
the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer
it will be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a
little longer for the technicans to finish the flight systems.
FLY WINDOWS NT:
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac,
placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit
down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if
they are flying.
UNIX EXPRESS:
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box
of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing
constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and
how to put it together. Eventually, they build several
different aircraft, but give them all the same name.
Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All
passengers believe they got there.
WINGS OF OS/400:
This airline has bought ancient DC-3s arguably the best
and safest plane that ever flew, and pained "747" on their
tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight
attendants of course, attend to your every need, though
the drinks are $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per
hour, unless you have Support Line, which requires a first
class ticket and membership to the frequent flyer club.
MVS AIR LINES:
The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching
hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this
immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10
engines and seats over 1,000 passengers. All the
passengers scramble aboard, as do the necessary
complement of 200 technicians. The pilot takes his
place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines,
only to realize that the plane is too big to get
through the hangar doors.
Charlie Gibbs
In article <4ub6c0$5...@newsflash.concordia.ca> joa...@ECE.Concordia.CA
(Joachim Thiemann) writes:
>Carrier Planes Multinational (CPM):
>The passengers walk onto the tarmac, and find ultralights. Some
>of the passengers attach rocket engines to their ultralights, while
>others attach towropes to AmigaAir, DOS AIR, and UNIX EXPRESS planes.
After examining the ultralights for a while, passengers begin to
recognize many of the parts as the same ones being used on DOS AIR
and Windows Airlines planes. Some of these parts have never worked,
some have never worked well, and others broke when fitted to the new
planes - but they all have a new coat of paint and look really pretty.
Charli...@mindlink.bc.ca
"IBM is not a necessary evil. IBM is not necessary." -- Ted Nelson
Joachim Thiemann
Win Air Transport 95:
You notice the Airplane Body is an old WINDOWS AIRLINES body, and the
engines are refurbished DOS AIR engines. The seats are now ajustable,
though. Looking in the cockpit, all the dials and buttons strike an
uncanny resemblance to those found in MAC AIRLINES cockpits, but it
turns out they are just painted on.
AmigaAir:
Great airline that could fly you to many different places at the same
time, except that the planes couldn't land anywhere. Now bankrupt
since they were still using old piston propeller engines while
everyone else had supersonic jets.
Carrier Planes Multinational (CPM):
The passengers walk onto the tarmac, and find Ultralights. Some of the
passengers attach rocket engines to theis ultralights, while others
attach towropes to AmigaAir, DOS AIR, and UNIX EXPRESS planes.
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Joachim Thiemann joa...@ece.concordia.ca done with Computer Engineering
http://www.ece.concordia.ca/~joachim/addr.html