Foot and Mouth! SHOCK NEWS!
psyonicdreams
UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT
OUTLOOK EXPRESS. Researchers Shocked to Finally
Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like
Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec's
AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that
foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's
Outlook Express email application, believed to be the first time
the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus.
"Frankly, we've never heard of a virus that couldn't spread
through Microsoft Outlook Express, so our findings were, to
say the least, unexpected," said Clive Sarnow, director of the
CDC's infectious disease unit.
The study was immediately hailed by British officials, who
said it will save millions of pounds and thousands of man hours.
"Up until now we have, quite naturally, assumed that both
foot-and-mouth and mad cow were spread by Microsoft
Outlook Express," said Nick Brown, Britain's Agriculture
Minister. "By eliminating it, we can focus our resources
elsewhere."
However, researchers in the Netherlands, where
foot-and-mouth has recently appeared, said they are not
yet prepared to disqualify Outlook Express, which has been the
progenitor of viruses such as "I Love You," "Bubbleboy,"
"Anna Kournikova," and "Naked Wife," to name but a few.
Said Nils Overmars, director of the Molecular Virology Lab
at Leiden University: "It's not that we don't trust the research,
it's just that as scientists, we are trained to be skeptical of
any finding that flies in the face of established truth. And this
one flies in the face like a blind drunk sparrow."
Executives at Microsoft, meanwhile, were equally skeptical,
insisting that Outlook Express's patented Virus Transfer
Protocol (VTP) has proven virtually pervious to any virus.
The company, however, will issue a free VTP patch if it
turns out the application is not vulnerable to foot-and-mouth.
Such an admission would be embarrassing for the software
giant, but Symantec virologist Ariel Kologne insisted that
no one is more humiliated by the study than she is. "Only
last week, I had a reporter ask if the foot-and-mouth
virus spreads through Microsoft Outlook Express, and I
told him, 'Doesn't everything?'" she recalled. "Who would've
thought?"
--
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psyonicdreams
news:tbyB6.9495$FD1.1...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS
> UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT
> OUTLOOK EXPRESS. Researchers Shocked to Finally
> Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like
I have been moaned at by somebody for posting this as they
say it is bad taste, I do not not think so, but would like to
appologise just in case. It was not anybody here, it was a
person some of us know with the initials RHH! 8o( It was
sent to me by somebody that is having financial problems
due to foot and mouth, but even he thought it was funny!
Angie
psyonicdreams <psyoni...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:_KEB6.9257$Ow3.2...@news2-win.server.ntlworld.com...
umaremasu
> psyonicdreams <psyoni...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
> news:tbyB6.9495$FD1.1...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> > FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS
> > UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT
> > OUTLOOK EXPRESS. Researchers Shocked to Finally
> > Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like
> <snipped>
>
> I have been moaned at by somebody for posting this as they
> say it is bad taste, I do not not think so>
I read it a while ago, in yet another ng, and thought it was funny...is not
really in bad taste...worse was the one read on Rad 4 about getting all the
kids in all the schools in Leicester, and shooting them, to stop spread of
TB...and I would have thought that bad...cept I had thought the same thing
the previous day :-((
Yeah...I know...I have a sick sense of humour....but it was more the idea of
the ludicrous culling.
--
umaremasu
http://www.umaremasu.co.uk
http://www.ahitchcock.freeserve.co.uk
"I'm gonna spread my wings ... I'm gonna reach for the sky.."
Flying Rat
"Angie" <an...@ntlworld.com> wrote in message
news:PNEB6.11293$FD1.1...@news6-win.server.ntlworld.com...
> it was funny.......sometimes you got to laugh at bad times.......
well it was when it first got posted two months ago on LineOne
psyonicdreams
news:9b7g4p$45p$1...@taliesin.netcom.net.uk...
>
> well it was when it first got posted two months ago on LineOne
I had not seen it until it arrived in my email this morning.