Letter to Senator Kerry :
The Americanist
Dear Senator Kerry :
I am Designated Letter Writer for the guys down to Daryl's Bait Shop here in
Lagniappe, Louisiana. We have been shaking our heads over your stumbling
campaign. It ain't so much we like you or your Party, but you are a fellow
American, born in the U S of A, so we don't want you to disgrace yourself. Here
are 10 helpful hints we have worked up for you. (More if you want them. Let us
know.) :
1. We know you served in Nam. You'd do yourself a favor if you didn't keep
mentioning it every time someone pokes a microphone in your face. Geez, it was
35 years ago you did that for what was it, four months? Some of us Daryl's Bait
Shop guys spent more time than that in chow lines. :
2. Get your stories straight. Admit you threw your or someone's medals and/or
ribbons over the Capitol fence in '71, and you went touring around with Jane
Fonda, and you testified falsely to atrocities by US troops. You ought to say
that was all a youthful mistake. We've made a few. We'll understand. :
3. It's OK, you can talk French to French reporters if you want to, we don't
mind. Smilin' Jack Boudreau can speak French, and we elected him Chief of the
Lagniappe Volunteer Fire Company. We're not bigots. We call 'em as we see 'em,
make up our minds. :
4. Sen. Kerry, why aren't you touting your good luck in snaggin, not one, but
two, rich wives? Here at Daryl's we often wonder what it would be like to have a
really rich wife. We speculate just how big a bass boat we could buy, along with
one of those new Dodge Hemi trucks to pull it to the crick. Smilin Jack always
points out how it's his cousins, Marvin and Dickweed who appear in those Dodge
Hemi commercials but still they can't afford one of their own. We chuckle how we
could be fishin all day with nary a worry about where the money is coming from.
You don't have to cook that ketchup, do you? Come on, show the world how lucky
you are. We here in the South respect achievement and don't begrudge someone's
good fortune even if he's a politician. :
5. Me and Boudreau wonder why you aren't going to the wrasslin matches to get
votes? We've seen videotape of you on the ski slopes. You got some good moves,
looks like you already know how to take a fall. All us here (except Freddie
Dobbs and Herm Harrison) are great fans of wrasslin. Not that we'd vote for you
just because you was one. Armen Yazoo is a wrasslin maniac, but none of us would
vote for him even if he was running only for dogcatcher. So you got to tread
easy on showing you're Joe Sixpack who just happened to go to Swiss prep school
and St. Paul's School and Yale College Skull & Bones. We'd see through that pose
in about a minute and a half and mark you for a hypocritical windbag and general
liar. You needn't go to the trouble of hanging a black velvet Elvis oil painting
in any of your living rooms. Weren't none of us recently fell off a turnip
truck. :
6. Tell us something you're for. We already know what you're against. :
7. We ain't all that impressed with the UN and we don't know why you keep bowing
in its direction, promising you will go there first thing if you are elected
President of this country. Is there anything the UN has ever done right? Didn't
they make a royal mess of that Iraq oil-for-food program, millions skimmed off
just happened to land in their personal bank accounts? Seems to us they spend
around 98 percent of their time passing resolutions that don't add up to a hill
of beans. :
8. If you're for lower gasoline prices in the morning, don't be proposing a 50
cents a gallon tax boost on gasoline in the afternoon. Saying one thing in
Shreveport and the opposite in Baton Rouge don't inspire us with confidence with
you as President. Maybe you should stay in the Senate where you got 99 other
guys to share the responsibility with. :
9. We got indoor privies, color TV, cell phones, and computers. Give us some
credit for brains and understanding. We know economic conditions are good and
getting better. Your telling us we're miserable, deluded fools just won't fly.
And it gives us the eerie feeling that you're hoping for a relapse into
recession to help your electoral chances. :
10. You have beaten all your Democratic opponents in all the primaries and
caucuses held so far. Yet you seem out of touch with your party and with
America. Maybe you've been a pol too long, been campaigning too long and you
need a break before the Convention. We all think the best thing you can do is
haul out your Harley, put TeRAYza on the pillion and take off for the Sturgis
South Dakota Bike Rally. Meet the folks. A few of us from Daryl's will be there.
You don't have to get tattooed. :
Sincerely,
Cooter
--
Regards, Clark in Round Rock Texas USA
http://xld.com/public/conus/conus.htm
The Constitution of the United States
With a Table of Ideas
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.706 / Virus Database: 462 - Release Date: 6/15/2004
Sinclair
>
> 10. You have beaten all your Democratic opponents in all the primaries and
> caucuses held so far. Yet you seem out of touch with your party and with
> America. Maybe you've been a pol too long, been campaigning too long and
you
> need a break before the Convention. We all think the best thing you can do
is
> haul out your Harley, put TeRAYza on the pillion and take off for the
Sturgis
> South Dakota Bike Rally. Meet the folks. A few of us from Daryl's will be
there.
> You don't have to get tattooed. :
>
> Sincerely,
> Cooter
>
> --
> Regards, Clark in Round Rock Texas USA
>
> http://xld.com/public/conus/conus.htm
> The Constitution of the United States
> With a Table of Ideas
Great fun almost makes me think that Tex is not going to vote for Kerry.
Sinclair
RobertJ
Clark? Are you for George Bush getting elected in November? Are you for the
war in Iraq?
Robert
"The Americanist" <cl...@xld.com> wrote in message
news:2javdlF...@uni-berlin.de...
Dink
Heh heh snicker guffaw.
--
Dink
N 30.21, W 97.81 http://snipurl.com/whereiam
Bloomsday is a secular holiday, celebrated annually on June 16. The day
both celebrates the life of the Irish writer James Joyce and ommemorates
the fictitious events in his novel, Ulysses, all of which took place on
a single day in Dublin: June 16, 1904. The day is commemorated by
activities such as academic symposia, re-enactments and readings from
Ulysses, pub-crawling and general merriment. Joyce chose June 16 because
he met his wife Nora on that day.
The Americanist
No, I didn't write it. Cooter did. That should be obvious.
Don't know if it's true or not. I don't know for sure that there is even a
Lagniappe, LA.
Still not decided if I'll vote for Pres. Bush or Michael Badnarik. I ain't
voting for Kerry ot Nader.
I'm for whatever it takes to eradicate terrorism. What I'm against is
appeasement. And socialism.
--
Regards, Clark in Round Rock Texas USA
http://xld.com/public/conus/conus.htm
The Constitution of the United States
With a Table of Ideas
"RobertJ" <Jn...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:QUXzc.114161$Ly.30702@attbi_s01...
Bobbie
LOL probably not.....
Bobbie....
The Americanist
it there.
--
Regards, Clark in Round Rock Texas USA
http://xld.com/public/conus/conus.htm
The Constitution of the United States
With a Table of Ideas
"Dink" <m...@privacy.net> wrote in message news:2jb1odF...@uni-berlin.de...
The Americanist
terrorism. I know him personally.
--
Regards, Clark in Round Rock Texas USA
http://xld.com/public/conus/conus.htm
The Constitution of the United States
With a Table of Ideas
"Bobbie" <bob...@smith-bj.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:capjjp$a2q$2...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk...
> Sinclair wrote:
> >
> > Great fun almost makes me think that Tex is not going to vote for Kerry.
> >
> > Sinclair
> >
>
>
> LOL probably not.....
>
> Bobbie....
Marsha
RobertJ
Robert
"Marsha" <mhuc...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:2TYzc.5295$IF3....@bignews5.bellsouth.net...
Cavello
They didn't all take place on June 16th. The last few chapters take
place in the early hours of the 17th.
The day is commemorated by
> activities such as academic symposia, re-enactments and readings from
> Ulysses, pub-crawling and general merriment.
And a lot of indifference.
Joyce chose June 16 because
> he met his wife Nora on that day.
No. He met her on the 10th, and they agreed to meet up again on the
14th. She didn't show, so he sent her a postcard. They had their first
date on the 16th.
DittyDu...@webtv.net
at the intersection. Left is ba-a-ad.
Blake
--------------
Great fun almost makes me think that Tex is not going to vote for Kerry.
Sinclair
---
Bobbie....
Dink
> > --
> > Dink
> > N 30.21, W 97.81 http://snipurl.com/whereiam
> > Bloomsday is a secular holiday, celebrated annually on June 16. The day
> > both celebrates the life of the Irish writer James Joyce and commemorates
> > the fictitious events in his novel, Ulysses, all of which took place on
> > a single day in Dublin: June 16, 1904.
>
> They didn't all take place on June 16th. The last few chapters take
> place in the early hours of the 17th.
>
> The day is commemorated by
> > activities such as academic symposia, re-enactments and readings from
> > Ulysses, pub-crawling and general merriment.
>
> And a lot of indifference.
>
> Joyce chose June 16 because
> > he met his wife Nora on that day.
>
> No. He met her on the 10th, and they agreed to meet up again on the
> 14th. She didn't show, so he sent her a postcard. They had their first
> date on the 16th.
Picky, picky. I'm indifferent to Groundhog Day, but Punxsutawney makes
a bundle from it; and has fun doing it.
--
Dink
N 30.21, W 97.81 http://snipurl.com/whereiam
Bloomsday is a secular holiday, celebrated annually on June 16. The day both celebrates
the life of the Irish writer James Joyce and commemorates the fictitious events in his novel,
Ulysses, all of which took place on a single day in Dublin: June 16, 1904. The day is
commemorated by activities such as academic symposia, re-enactments and readings
from Ulysses, pub-crawling and general merriment. Joyce chose June 16 because he met
lonestar
Sinclair wrote:
"snipped"
> Great fun almost makes me think that Tex is not going to vote for Kerry.
>
> Sinclair
Good observation:
Robert(Texas) :-)
lonestar
Robert(Texas)
lonestar
The Americanist wrote:
> Received it in Email.
>
> No, I didn't write it. Cooter did. That should be obvious.
LOL! It is obvious to normal people that you didn't write the letter.
Robert(Texas) :-)
Cavello
> Cavello on 6/16/2004 in alt.fifty-plus.friends wrote:
>
> > > --
> > > Dink
> > > N 30.21, W 97.81 http://snipurl.com/whereiam
> > > Bloomsday is a secular holiday, celebrated annually on June 16. The day
> > > both celebrates the life of the Irish writer James Joyce and commemorates
> > > the fictitious events in his novel, Ulysses, all of which took place on
> > > a single day in Dublin: June 16, 1904.
> >
> > They didn't all take place on June 16th. The last few chapters take
> > place in the early hours of the 17th.
> >
> > The day is commemorated by
> > > activities such as academic symposia, re-enactments and readings from
> > > Ulysses, pub-crawling and general merriment.
> >
> > And a lot of indifference.
> >
> > Joyce chose June 16 because
> > > he met his wife Nora on that day.
> >
> > No. He met her on the 10th, and they agreed to meet up again on the
> > 14th. She didn't show, so he sent her a postcard. They had their first
> > date on the 16th.
>
> Picky, picky.
It's called 'accuracy' where I come from.
I'm indifferent to Groundhog Day, but Punxsutawney makes
> a bundle from it; and has fun doing it.
Good. I love that movie.