Peace, Monk Keezunkle
"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in what they think
laughable."
Goethe
1749-1832
"Monk K." <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:Rid87.8728$ar1....@www.newsranger.com...
ja--and Scott Tissue is even softer now than it used to be which is of course a must in order for everything to work out in the end as you so nicely put it. :o))
"Monk K." <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote in message news:Rid87.8728$ar1....@www.newsranger.com...
There will never be another tissue in our house. Scott lasts and lasts and
lasts. <G>
But, have you seen the Charmin commercial with the bear in the woods! I
love it!
sue
ja
"Sue" <k...@ewol.com> wrote in message news:S_e87.11693$au2.1...@e420r-sjo3.usenetserver.com...
ja ...sorry about that. I just couldn't resist!!
<b_...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message news:77f87.2699$rs3.1...@e3500-atl1.usenetserver.com...
Scotts
sounds Canadian
The trouble with learning by experience is you gotta do the experience first
Just wash and dry it when through with it, reroll, and it will last twice as
long:-)
Don (Prone)
"judithann" <bu...@netsync.net> wrote in message
news:9js0nb$18qdp$1...@ID-46872.news.dfncis.de...
>I think this is a good time to mention the fact that the USA is the World's
>largest producer and consumer of toilet paper. That's right, folks,
>according
>to the figures posted at www.ToiletPaperWorld.com. The $2.4 billion a year
>industry owes it's thanks to the American public for using 20,805 sheets per
>person per year. It just goes to show you; everything works out in the
>end.<VBG>
Which is why Kimberly Clark is such a consistent stock - distasteful as it is,
they have a product which stops/absorbs/cleans the leakage in every orifice of
every body.
k
Joy
"judithann" <bu...@netsync.net> wrote in message
news:9jrt4t$13odr$1...@ID-46872.news.dfncis.de...
It's great, isn't it?
Joy
dae wrote:
--
Home is where you hang your @
"hannahs date at the 88s" <gur...@aol.comstock> schreef in bericht
news:20010727123153...@ng-co1.aol.com...
Sounds Scottish
Graham
ja
"dae" <d.e...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message news:U7h87.54587$C81.4...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
Arch
LOL!! I get your *drift*, Arch. The article also stated that, while Americans
were still using corn-cobs and grape leaves, the French were using lace. Betcha
don't see much of that anymore.<g>
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in what
they leave behind."
John Crapper
Monk K waltzed in pretty as you please and said:
I think this is a good time to mention the fact that the USA is the World's
largest producer and consumer of toilet paper. That's right, folks, according
to the figures posted at www.ToiletPaperWorld.com. The $2.4 billion a year
industry owes it's thanks to the American public for using 20,805 sheets per
person per year. It just goes to show you; everything works out in the
end.<VBG>
<Enjoying the fine art of subtlety, VB falls over laughing>
"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in what they
squeeze, wad, crumple or fold."
Mr. Whipple
yep--Canada's main influence--the accent is a combination of Scots and Irish
Fortunately, for some, they have yet to develop something to stop
"biting sarcasm". wink wink
Peace, Dennis
Bon Mot! :) ......But Dennis, they have! It just hasn't been approved by the
FDA, because, thus far, it only works for short periods of time.
In clinical trials they call it the Marian. It is said to work on biting
sarcasm as well as other forms of free speech.
k
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
------;^0-------;^)---------:^0---------
In article <9jrno8$1d0qe$1...@ID-27999.news.dfncis.de>, Di Wall says...
Excuse me. Personally, I never cared for that slogan. I have always enjoyed
the sensation of squeezing toilet paper. It reminds me of my first girl-friend.
Charminly, Mr. Whipple
>
>
>
There is certainly more to a roll of Scott than meets the eye.
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
---------;^)----------
>ja--and Scott Tissue is even softer now than it used to be which is of =
>course a must in order for everything to work out in the end as you so =
>nicely put it. :o))
>"Monk K." <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote in message =
>news:Rid87.8728$ar1....@www.newsranger.com...
>> I think this is a good time to mention the fact that the USA is the =
>World's
>> largest producer and consumer of toilet paper. That's right, folks, =
>according
>> to the figures posted at www.ToiletPaperWorld.com. The $2.4 billion a =
>year
>> industry owes it's thanks to the American public for using 20,805 =
>sheets per
>> person per year. It just goes to show you; everything works out in =
>the
>> end.<VBG>
>>=20
>> Peace, Monk Keezunkle
>>=20
>> "Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in what =
Who put the "Bop" in the "Bop-she-bop-she-bop"? Or was it the one about the
hobby horse?<g>
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
>
Gotta be an improvement over snowballs and pineapples. Oooooooooohhhhhhh!!!!
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in
how quietly they finish."
H. Weiss
Are you suggesting the survey might be inaccurate?<g>
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
>
Seriously, when I was in Burma my colleague got the sniffles and ran out of
tissues so resorted to toilet paper.....however, Burma has been stripped of
all it's trees for furniture making thus paper is a rare commodity so she
actually dried off the 'drippy nose' papers for re-use! True story!
Oooops! Hope I haven't offended anyone... I believe the word 'toilet' is
considered a rude word in the US??
Di<~~~ living on the edge again! :))
"dae" <d.e...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:U7h87.54587$C81.4...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
"Monk K." <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:QZm87.9374$ar1....@www.newsranger.com...
"Monk K." <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:dRm87.9363$ar1....@www.newsranger.com...
We have had a recycling program in our little city for several years. The
icky garbage is through into landfills and the newspapers, magazines, and
other paper products are sorted from the cans and bottles and are picked up
by another crew. The City makes a little money on it.
Don (Prone)
"Di Wall" <diw...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9jsuu1$14hcf$1...@ID-27999.news.dfncis.de...
Sir Monk K.,
Your first girlfriend was named Mr. Whipple? Did you know they are bringing
back some of the old commercials on TV and that is one of them?
Don (Prone)
"Di Wall" <diw...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9jsuu1$14hcf$1...@ID-27999.news.dfncis.de...
"dae" <d.e...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:Qdp87.23155$gj1.2...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.
net...
Really? I didn't notice whether it was over or under.
Joy (smiling in wide-eyed innocence)
<wonder if that were the type of squirt bottle used to make kitties obey besides
the air cans?>
Mr. Whipple confessed:
>Excuse me. Personally, I never cared for that slogan. I have always enjoyed
>the sensation of squeezing toilet paper. It reminds me of my first
>girl-friend.
Ah yes, I remember once stuffing my bra with it as well. ;-)
VB
"It serve you right to suffer."
-- John Lee Hooker
>out with toilet paper, I'll bet you =
>anything we could wash and dry it!! :o)
oh pooh! Would you really want to do that. I bet most people would delegate it.
carlie
"GeoGoddess" <gard...@mail.ocis.net> wrote in message
news:9jt8m5$1l464$1...@ID-76624.news.dfncis.de...
>I think this is a good time to mention the fact that the USA is the World's
>largest producer and consumer of toilet paper. That's right, folks, according
>to the figures posted at www.ToiletPaperWorld.com. The $2.4 billion a year
>industry owes it's thanks to the American public for using 20,805 sheets per
>person per year. It just goes to show you; everything works out in the
>end.<VBG>
>
>Peace, Monk Keezunkle
>
>"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in what they think
>laughable."
> Goethe
> 1749-1832
As these numbers break down to 57 sheets (no pun) per person per day, this will no doubt lead to a
criticism in the UN regarding the unforgivable waste of a renewable resource, namely trees. <g>
Jan (Who at the moment has nothing better to do)
"If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined"
ja
"hannahs date at the 88s" <gur...@aol.comstock> wrote in message news:20010728083708...@ng-mi1.aol.com...
I certainly don't blame her for using American toilet paper. When I was in
England we found that public restrooms (in train stations, etc.) had paper
of the approximate absorbency of waxed paper. Each square was marked with a
crown and an official-looking insignia. The members of our tour group
referred to it as "the queen's toilet paper".
Joy
Didn't mean to imply I had anything against Scott--I can hardly remember it.
However, we DO get Kleenex toilet paper here (I think)
The trouble with recycled and with private brand toilet paper is finding the
way to open the roll.
You ever get a roll that needs to be ripped, torn, and flung against the wall
to get it started?
Then the first bit comes off about six sheets thick and . . . oh darn . . .
it's so frustrating.
This is your first summer in the new property. How is it. I'm familiar with the
winter scenes you've drawn but have heard little about the transition into
spring and summer:)
carlie
>
>"hannahs date at the 88s" <gur...@aol.comstock> wrote in message =
>news:20010728083708...@ng-mi1.aol.com...
>> >Subject: Re: Americans Full of It?
>> >From: "judithann" bu...@netsync.net=20
>> >Date: 27/07/01 19:41 GMT Daylight Time
>> >Message-id: <9jsci9$1ce56$1...@ID-46872.news.dfncis.de>
>> >
>> >Well don, if Bounty were to come
>>=20
>> >out with toilet paper, I'll bet you =3D
>>=20
>> >anything we could wash and dry it!! :o)
>>=20
>> oh pooh! Would you really want to do that. I bet most people would =
>delegate it.
>>=20
>> carlie
>>=20
>> The trouble with learning by experience is you gotta do the experience =
>first
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
RECORD ON DECK: THE LAST WALTZ/THE BAND
"The Night They Drove Ole Dixie Down"
Britain (and other European countries) used to be famous for ghastly toilet
paper.
They started to get developed country toilet paper in the late 70s/early 80s.
I remember in the mid-80s though, visiting the department of Trade and Industry
near Parliament in London--you could do market research there.
They had exactly the toilet paper you describe in the bathrooms.
When I asked why such execrable and unhealthy paper was provided, the answer
was.
"If it was good toilet paper, people would steal it."
As a Canadian this was a new concept to me. I couldn't recall people ever
stealing toilet paper in Canada.
It was quite a cultural insight.
carlie
>
>I certainly don't blame her for using American toilet paper. When I was in
>England we found that public restrooms (in train stations, etc.) had paper
>of the approximate absorbency of waxed paper. Each square was marked with a
>crown and an official-looking insignia. The members of our tour group
>referred to it as "the queen's toilet paper".
>
>Joy
RECORD ON DECK: THE LAST WALTZ/THE BAND
If we are using that much paper, I don't think we are full of it:-)
--
The Shadow Knows!
I see you're catching up. Only 15,000 to go now and you'll be right up to
date. <lol>
We have been full of it. We are now wiped out.<g> But then...you would know
that if you were the *real* Shadow Nose.
Peace, Monk Keezunkle(wondering about people with an alias)
>
"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in
a good, honest name."
Armand Hammer
> We have been full of it. We are now wiped out.<g> But then...you would know
> that if you were the *real* Shadow Nose.
I think she is the real Shadow Nose, at least I think it's the Shadow Nose
that I've been replying to these past weeks.
The poor lass has a newsreader that won't allow her to download only the
last couple of hundred posts. She's had to start from the beginning,
downloading smallish batches.
Expect a reply to your's around about Thanksgiving.
> Peace, Monk Keezunkle(wondering about people with an alias)
Me too.
--
K.Mart
Has anyone suggested a 5/1 response ratio to her posts? You know, just to be
friendly? LOL
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
>
"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in
engaging in brisk correspondence."
Benedict Arnold
How about a 5/1 response ratio to her posts?
Does that mean I have to send five for every one of hers, or do I reply to
every fifth one - cos that's about normal.
--
K.Mart
We split a fifth for every one of her posts. What's your pleasure?<G> But
then...I don't so much as taste anymore so you'll have to have my share for me.
I will think of you in the "smoking lodge" my Brother.(Woops, that dratted
Chong)
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
"Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in what they think
they did the night before."
Dean Martin
********************
Ghost Poo
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?
Teflon Poo
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet
paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.
Goo Poo
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you still
don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you
don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the toilet.
Second Thoughts Poo
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realize... there's
more to come.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until
you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Weight Watchers Poo
You poo so much you lose several pounds.
Right Now Poo
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to get
there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your pants down.
King Kong Poo
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you break it
into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well. This kind of poo
usually happens when you're at someone else's house.
Cork Poo
Also known as "floaters". Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?
Wet Cheeks Poo
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.
Wish Poo
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.
Cement Block Poo
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you pooed.
Snake Poo
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least three
feet long.
Morning After Poo
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell that
bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house (normally a girl
you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside to use the bathroom.
Mexican Food Poo
Also called "screamers". You know it's safe to eat again when your bum stops
burning.
Boo Hoo Poo
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the stitches or
go for the fuller figure.
=============
~~~Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange
for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.~~~
(H.L. Hunt)
"Al Gerber" <a75...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010813131259...@nso-cs.aol.com...
> We split a fifth for every one of her posts. What's your pleasure?<G> But
> then...I don't so much as taste anymore so you'll have to have my share for me.
A question o wise one. What's a 'fifth' exactly? Not being totally au fait
with Merkun measurements, I have to ask what I'm getting into here.
> I will think of you in the "smoking lodge" my Brother.(Woops, that dratted
> Chong)
Cool. Way cool. <g>
Mick. <whose pleasure is currently Glenmorangie>
Regards, John (tAg)
"Michael Fanner" <mikef...@argonet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:4aa990bbb8...@argonet.co.uk...
Joy
"Al Gerber" <a75...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010813131259...@nso-cs.aol.com...
>
Joy
"John (that Alaska guy)" <out_there@somewhere> wrote in message
news:tnghgjs...@corp.supernews.com...
Regards, John (tAg)
"Yoj" <jgay...@att.net> wrote in message
news:yQZd7.9025$Ki1.6...@bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
That's an awful lot of Scotch. Especially drunk alone.
Maybe I'll pass <g>
Mick.
Regards, John (tAg)
"Michael Fanner" <mikef...@argonet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:4aa995486f...@argonet.co.uk...
"Michael Fanner" <mikef...@argonet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:4aa995486f...@argonet.co.uk...
Regards, John (tAg)
"GeoGoddess" <gard...@mail.ocis.net> wrote in message
news:9lc24u$8do53$1...@ID-76624.news.dfncis.de...
I only have 6992 left to download after I finish this 629:-) saddly there is
no way to read them all but I am trying to look at each thread. I do have a
life off this pc:-) next week hubby will go back to work so I may have more
time!!
--
The Shadow Knows!
I think I am already out numbered out 10/1:-) but thanks for the kind
thought:-)
--
The Shadow Knows!
I'm still waiting for a reply to email!!! but since you are entertaining us
with tall tales I can wait:-)
--
The Shadow Knows!
does Dr Pepper come in fifths?
>
> A question o wise one. What's a 'fifth' exactly? Not being totally au fait
> with Merkun measurements, I have to ask what I'm getting into here.
my fifth of Jack Daniels says a liter!
>
> > I will think of you in the "smoking lodge" my Brother.(Woops, that
dratted
> > Chong)
>
> Cool. Way cool. <g>
>
> Mick. <whose pleasure is currently Glenmorangie>
I still have all that beer you all left!!!!!
>
>
--
The Shadow Knows!
that is very good, and yes I am the *real* Shadow Nose and I do wish some of
you would cut out the Taco's:-)
>
> Peace, Monk Keezunkle(wondering about people with an alias)
> >
>
> "Men show their true character in nothing more clearly than in
> a good, honest name."
> Armand Hammer
--
The Shadow Knows!
Yes, it is I!!
>
> The poor lass has a newsreader that won't allow her to download only the
> last couple of hundred posts. She's had to start from the beginning,
> downloading smallish batches.
I could download all 15000 at one time but my poor pc would probably have a
fatal error thing!! It takes about 10 minutes to get 600 so I would have to
sit here for 25 hours!!
>
> Expect a reply to your's around about Thanksgiving.
pass the Turkey:-)
>
> > Peace, Monk Keezunkle(wondering about people with an alias)
it took me 5 years to figure out how to do this, and I'm going to enjoy it
for awhile:-)
>
> Me too.
>
> --
> K.Mart
Oh sure!!
>
--
The Shadow Knows!
snipped>
>
> Mexican Food Poo
> Also called "screamers". You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops
> burning.
>
> Boo Hoo Poo
> Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the stitches
or
> go for the fuller figure.
>
>
> =============
>
> ~~~Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange
> for it. Establish your priorities and go to work.~~~
> (H.L. Hunt)
>
>
LOL: really different:-)
--
The Shadow Knows!
Regards, John (tAg)
"NHunkele" <nhun...@aol.complete> wrote in message
news:20010815102414...@mb-fz.aol.com...
Norma--singing along with Danny Kaye, "Glow worm, Glow worm, measuring the
marigolds"
--
Oh....ok...you are right...
It's a split! There's another name for it..... what is it?????
Oh well, that's what I get for buying wine in a box!
Ann in BC
"John (that Alaska guy)" <out_there@somewhere> wrote in message
news:tnk4ull...@corp.supernews.com...
Peace, Monk Keezunkle
---------------------
In article <9le51m$92jp9$1...@ID-76624.news.dfncis.de>, GeoGoddess says...
"Women show their true character in nothing more clearly than in
how they hold their licker."
Old Folk Saying
Joy
"NHunkele" <nhun...@aol.complete> wrote in message
news:20010815102414...@mb-fz.aol.com...
You have my sympathy, Shadow. I was gone most of the day yesterday and have
over 400 posts to look at.
Joy
-- lOLOL!
There's nothing *wrong* with "Vin Ordinaire", Monk!
Just that some of it is more "ordinaire" than others.... :-)
Ann in BC
"Monk K" <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:Kvxe7.2272$2u.3...@www.newsranger.com...
"Monk K" <nos...@newsranger.com> wrote in message
news:Kvxe7.2272$2u.3...@www.newsranger.com...
"GeoGoddess" <gard...@mail.ocis.net> wrote in message
news:9le51m$92jp9$1...@ID-76624.news.dfncis.de...
Peace, Wolfie
--------------------
In article <tnmljoq...@corp.supernews.com>, that Alaska guy\ says...
well . . . I do believe a fifth Is in fact a fifth of a US gallon/i.e. 25 1/6
ounces approx
a half bottle is a 'mickey'
a 1.75 liter bottle is a TEXAS mickey.
Until at least the early 90s we used to get 40 ouncers here in Ireland--like
was the case in Canada--now it's just liters.
a 40 ouncer always left a bottle a day man enough for breakfast
carlie
>thereabouts.
>750 ml is the size of most standard bottles of wine ....
>ann in bc
>
>
>"Michael Fanner" <mikef...@argonet.co.uk> wrote in message
>news:4aa995486f...@argonet.co.uk...
>> In article <tnghgjs...@corp.supernews.com>,
>> John \(that Alaska guy\) <out_there@somewhere> wrote:
>> > A fifth is one fifth of an American gallon, somewhere in the
>> > neighborhood of 750 milliliters.
>>
>> That's an awful lot of Scotch. Especially drunk alone.
>>
>> Maybe I'll pass <g>
>>
>> Mick.
>>
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
God made a verb To press (my boss is pressing me to get the work done tonight)
Man says "too simple, elegant and intuitive--let's make it <to pressure>
Man says "nope, still too easy--let's make it <to pressurise>
Next step: <to pressurisate>?
urrrrm! I think a split would be 187.5 ounces, John.
375 is deffnittly a mickey, eh!
carlieieieieieieieieeieieieieieieieieie
God made a verb To press (my boss is pressing me to get the work done tonight)
ONE FIFTH of a US gallon=25.7 ounces
liter = 160/4.55=35.16 ounces
half a fifth is a mickey
quarter of a fifth is a pony
1/16th of a fifth is a miniature
goodness knows what one eighth of a fifth is
a semiquaver????????????
> ONE FIFTH of a US gallon=25.7 ounces
>
> liter = 160/4.55=35.16 ounces
>
> half a fifth is a mickey
>
> quarter of a fifth is a pony
>
> 1/16th of a fifth is a miniature
>
> goodness knows what one eighth of a fifth is
>
> a semiquaver????????????
~~~~> Splitting sides here!
Di<~~who quavers on a mere whiff!
A fortieth?
2½%?
Not very much?
Actually Carl if your going for a musical theme, I suggest a 'semi*breve*'
It sounds more like something a real man would ask for.
"Gimme a semibreve o' redeye, NOW"
M.
"John (that Alaska guy)" wrote:
>
> Last Tuesday was a very good day....
As was Thursday the 16th thru Sat. the 25th.
Robert