(Story) Don't Feed the Trolls (1955 words)
Joel Crum
determine the depth of your critique.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't Feed the Trolls
By Joel Crum
Copy write 2003
All resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental;
I did my darnest not to steal *too* much from any one person. :-)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Dan Miles, or Dan to his friends, leans back from his work and sighs.
The computer code in front of him swims. Given code for NEC isn't the
easiest thing to read in the first place and the mathematics that models
weather systems isn't easy to read in plain English, the text combining
both in front of him is nearly impossible to understand as it dances
around.
He rubs his eyes and stands up.
The Earth Simulator Center is quiet, a somewhat unusual occurrence given
the Japanese love of open floor plans and long hectic workdays. An ache
burns in Dan's back. He has no idea how long he'd sat there. He'd
gotten so wrapped up in code modeling hurricanes' movement of heat that
he hadn't moved for several hours let alone kept track of the time.
*I'm too old for this,* Dan thinks. A few years ago, he would have coded
all night on nothing but caffeine and junk-food. He'd worked his way
though a doctorate in climatology and a second in computing that way.
His doctor had already informed him in no uncertain terms those days were
over. During his last physical the man had asked if Dan had suffered a
heart attack. When he answered, "No," the doctor taped the chart and
said, "It says here you're overdue." That joke drove the point home
pretty well. Now pain in his back is telling him that if he so much as
takes ten steps without resting he'll spend the night lying on the floor.
Dan carefully sets back down at his computer and connects to Usenet
hoping his back will relax enough to let him go home as he reads.
* * *
Terra Linwood is settling down in front of her computer. It's early yet,
but today feels - good. Pretty good at least. Terra is manic
depressive. She's never been diagnosed, but outside of the quantum world
conditions are independent of their observation. Her moods swing almost
beyond what a human can bear from moment to moment. Thus the hesitance
about stating how her day is going.
Over the years, this has caused a problem or two. Boys are difficult.
Some fall for the wild carefree hummingbird of an "up" Terra then leave
her at her worst point as she comes crashing down. Others like the dark
dangerous girl she becomes at her worst. That type never understands
happiness, and they're invariably bad news. At least, their timing is
better when they leave her.
She "self medicates" with marijuana. If the comparison is to be made to
medicine then sometimes the "dosage" is off, the substance is poor, or
she's taking entirely the wrong thing. Still it helps just enough that
she keeps coming back. Occasionally she hits a really golden day where
everything is just right, and the smoke feels like enlightenment as it
enters her lungs.
Terra's second drug is modern and legal. The computer. It and the
thousands of people it can connect her to form an endless well for
frustration, madness, anger, and depression. However, it's no more
perfect than marijuana.
She brings up her internet connection and connects to Usenet hoping to
have a little fun.
* * *
The Internet is growing. It's been growing since its original conception
as a battle-proof communications network for the US military. Its
current bulk encompasses tens of thousands of miles of copper gold and
spun glass. Its physical structure alone is worth a fortune.
The data on it is worth vastly more.
Everything and anything you desire is out there. Linked together by the
massive web that has grown beyond the control or supervision of its
creators. Sex drugs and money? There are those who take credit and
don't ask questions. Most peoples' desires are more prosaic:
companionship and simple diversions. It all rides together on beams of
light and bits of energy.
Just log on.
* * *
Dan logs on. NNTP protocol is somewhat archaic, a little unwieldy, and
slightly outdated, but he enjoys it. All of those things could be said
of him.
Rec.painting is nicely active. Several people have posted pictures of
their latest work, and most of those pictures have been commented on.
Dan fiddles around looking at and remarking on the linked paintings for a
while, as the fans of the hundreds of computers which surround him fill
the air with comforting white noise. Experimentally, he flexes his back;
it feels a lot better. He'll probably be able to get home for a nights
rest soon.
As he's about to close his news reader, a final thread catches Dan's eye.
It started as commentary on a rather nice impressionist still-life but
has drifted, as these things can, to the subject of war in the Middle
East. Someone new to the group is decrying the action as empirical and
unjustified.
Dan cracks his fingers and sighs. He thinks he should ignore the entire
debate, but these threads are really starting to get to him. He also
thinks of the empty, shoe box sized apartment that awaits him. Five more
minutes of typing won't hurt anything.
* * *
Terra discovered painting a year or two ago. It helps balance her.
Throwing hot reds, bright yellows, and flaring oranges at a canvas seems
to spend some of her maddening energy nondestructively. For a little
feedback, she showed an online group some pictures a few days ago. As a
joint of cheap grass stabilizes her energy level, she remembers the
pictures and wonders if anyone has had something to say about them.
Several comments have been put forward by rec.painting. Terra browses
them then catches sight of all the posts in a thread entitled "Morning
Coffee." Interested in the art which had inspired such comment, she
checks out the picture. It's a still-life of coffee, some fruit, and a
vase of flowers. The scene is lit in orange that suggests a sunrise.
Terra enjoys the painting, but she doesn't know what to say about it. A
formally trained art critic might have noticed the fine brush work or the
rendition of light, but Terra's passion is more passion then precision.
She also sees the thread wasn't long because of the artwork itself.
Someone mentioned Iraq and people were talking about that. Without
thought to the way it will make her feel, she scans the posts. Most
people seemed to justly condemn the war, but one person is in favor of it
and for the most atrocious reasons.
"Dr. Miles," Terra suspects he isn't a doctor of any sort though he
certainly seemed pompous enough for the job. The old fart rambled about
how he lives outside of the country so even a country that wasn't strong
enough to attack America could be a threat. Worse, he wondered why
everyone considered empires such a bad thing!
Terra's moral compass flares and threatens to crack. She begins to type
her angry reply. "I don't see how you can say the greatest periods in
history are marked by empires..."
* * *
Picture a flash of light. It explodes into being at the moment a finger
presses down a mouse's button. We see it race down the cut away of the
mouse's wire and into the circuitry of the computer. There, the light
bends, folds, stretches, and brightens in an eye blink almost too fast to
follow. The data then streams out the back of the computer, down a jack
into the wall, and away. We zoom out. A cut away of the world: beneath
the towns, cities, and farms lies a gigantic network of wires. We see
the planet as a whole composes one gigantic circuit board. Across that
board, the light moves, splits, propagates, and lodges in various places
where it is accessed with more mouse clicks.
That's not really how the internet works. But, it's as close as the OSI
Seven Layer model and a lot more fun.
* * *
Dan finishes reading the group, shuts down all his other programs,
gingerly stands, and hits refresh on the group one last time in
preparation to head out the door. He's somewhat surprised to see a reply
to his last post highlighted in yellow by XNews.
Still standing, he begins to read the message. By the time he finishes,
he's both sitting and angry. Some twit of a girl (who he recalls doesn't
even paint very well and barely comments on others' paintings) has called
him names, insulted his ideas, and trotted out the biggest collection of
historical misinterpretation, and urban legend he's ever read to refute
him.
Dan doesn't even notice his back begin to lock as he starts searching the
web for information and writing replies to the varied arguments against
him. It takes a while, but finally he hits send. A look of satisfaction
settles on his face as he thinks of how the little punk will be crushed
by his arguments.
* * *
Terra is far from crushed. She doesn't consider the mainstream media
sources Dr. Pompous posts to be nearly as authoritative as he does.
She's never heard of Occam and doesn't see what the hell his razor could
have to do with the CIA selling drugs in the 70's. It doesn't take her
long to tell the doctor that either. She even throws in a few citations
as he seems so fond of them.
* * *
Using our earlier metaphor, the resulting argument seems like a battle of
the Gods. Electrical light flashes and strobes around two points as each
fires searches and page requests out into the Internet drawing to them
more shining information. That they wrap into tight knots and fire. One
can almost hear the crack of thunder echo with each post as thoughts and
words become weapons and attacks are made through the digital
battlefield.
Suddenly Dan's node goes dark.
* * *
<Hey Dan the net's gotta go down.>
Dan blinks at the "System Admin Message" on his screen. It takes him a
moment to pull away from his thoughts about national security (though
some of the debate had fallen to the level of derisive comments on each
other parentage) and click the reply button.
<But I'm working!>
<Sorry I can't postpone this or the whole thing will go down when
*everyone* is working. Surely you got the e-mail.>
<Yeah, guess so. OK, logging off.>
<Thanks man.>
Dan shuts down his computer and stands. His back howls in pain. For a
moment he feels as though he's going to fall over, but he steadies
himself against the desk and makes for home. With every steep, he thinks
of the good-for-nothing little chipy who at this very moment probably
thinks she's shamed him. With every thought, his back tightens and his
old heart beats faster.
By the time he's standing on the subway platform, he's seeing spots but
not paying much attention to them. A late night train slides to a halt
in front of him. The doors open allowing a group of excited young people
to spill out. They're talking, giggling, and just a little drunk. One
of them nudges Dan without noticing before he staggers off into the night
toward a 24 hour club.
Dan notices. The small jolt causes his back to give totally and he
stumbles and falls forward into the train just as the doors close. The
car is empty. Pain flares through his body to such a degree he can't move
even enough to get to a seat. The train begins to pull away from its
station. Dr. Miles vision fills with sparks and darkness.
His overworked heart shuts down.
* * *
Don't feed the trolls.
--
- Joel C.
"If your going to mess with the stuff of Greek tragedy you'd better be
prepared for the consequences" - Tadpole
Markham J Eggleton
I'm not gonna crit this one - there's one or two typos in there but that can
be forgiven (I've made four just typing that sentence, but you can't see
that 'coz of good ol' DELETE!)
Instead, I'll simply tell you that I really like this little piece of
social/net commentary. You've managed to pretty much hit the nail right on
the head with this one and it's both humourous and thought provoking at the
same time. Not only did you manage to make me dislike the character of Dan
Miles, but also to feel sympathy for him - maybe that's because I'm strange
or maybe that's what you were aiming for, I don't know.
Thanks for giving me an ejoyable read at 3:15 in the morning.
Keep on truckin'
--
From the desk of Markham J Eggleton
Joel Crum
news:ee_Wa.4162$0L6....@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk:
> Hi Joel.
>
> I'm not gonna crit this one - there's one or two typos in there but
> that can be forgiven (I've made four just typing that sentence, but
> you can't see that 'coz of good ol' DELETE!)
I was wondering where they were. ;-)
> Not only did you manage to make me dislike
> the character of Dan Miles, but also to feel sympathy for him - maybe
> that's because I'm strange or maybe that's what you were aiming for, I
> don't know.
When I set out to write this story I wanted to show something I'd seen
time and time again. There are plenty of smart, well educated,
respectable people out there who will get themselves *incredibly* worked
up arguing with someone who obviously isn't bringing a full deck of cards
to the metaphorical table. So Dan started as "you the reader", but then
again the story was also suppose to be short and largely humorous.
However this is a heavily character driven story and it kind of got away
from me. The characters started muddying the water. I gave Dan the more
objectionable view and to some extent attitude, while Terra didn't crit
;-), was the newcomer, and had the less tenable stance. I don't know if
I could pick out the "troll" in the final version of the story. I was
pleased with that ambiguity because instead of creating one character I
that some people would be close to I was able to set up a continuum
nearly everybody will fall into.
> Thanks for giving me an ejoyable read at 3:15 in the morning.
Your more then welcome, and thank you for your kind words. :-)
Michael
> I probably won't revise this further, so bear that in mind as you
> determine the depth of your critique.
>
Good piece, Joel. I particularly enjoyed the analogy of posting to
Usenet as the crack and rumble of Gods trading lightening. That's a
keeper, and I'd urge you to consider reusing it in a weightier piece.
What I couldn't work out was which one was "the Troll". Dr. Miles, a
non-painter hanging around rec.painting, or Terra, a poor painter who
dabbles in world affairs. You could say either, you could say both.
Also, with Dr. Miles being a seasoned internet user, I presume, I
wonder if he'd really give a troll that much thought, or let him
bother him that much?
But all in all a fine piece of writing, and a timely reminder.
Joel Crum
news:65db83ab.03080...@posting.google.com:
> Joel Crum <yeah> wrote in message
> news:<Xns93CBBC33CBBA9...@129.250.170.99>...
>> I probably won't revise this further, so bear that in mind as you
>> determine the depth of your critique.
>>
>
> Good piece, Joel. I particularly enjoyed the analogy of posting to
> Usenet as the crack and rumble of Gods trading lightening. That's a
> keeper, and I'd urge you to consider reusing it in a weightier piece.
Thanks.
> What I couldn't work out was which one was "the Troll". Dr. Miles, a
> non-painter hanging around rec.painting, or Terra, a poor painter who
> dabbles in world affairs. You could say either, you could say both.
That was my intent by the time I finished the story. That evolved into
being as I was working with the characters. My original intent was to make
Terra the "troll" but only in an accidental way. However, I think, I
managed to stick to the POV fairly well and neither character is actually
trolling so they don't see themselves as doing so. I also decided that
illustrating a legitimate disagreement falling to the level of name-calling
would be more effective for showing the silliness of it.
> Also, with Dr. Miles being a seasoned internet user, I presume, I
> wonder if he'd really give a troll that much thought, or let him
> bother him that much?
He shouldn't, but that doesn't seem to stop anyone. ;-)
> But all in all a fine piece of writing, and a timely reminder.
Thank you, and thank you for your opinions.
--
- Joel C.
"I hate Clocks, I hate they way they tick
They make me nervous, they make me itch.
Man there’s a lott’a things I ain’t done yet."
- Southern Culture on the Skids.
HavingFun
I enjoyed your story. Light-hearted and fun, with a morality tale
twist! I especially liked that you gave some depth to the antagonist
(Terra).
Two notes:
1. Programmers rarely use the term "computer code". They prefer
"source code". On Google, 200,000 matches for the first and 3,100,000
matches for the second.
2. Your comparison to the OSI Model may be over-the-head of your
audience unless they have a networking or programming background.
Regards!
Joel Crum <yeah> wrote in message news:<Xns93CBBC33CBBA9...@129.250.170.99>...
Huw Lyan Thomas
> I probably won't revise this further, so bear that in mind as you
> determine the depth of your critique.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Don't Feed the Trolls
> By Joel Crum
> Copy write 2003
Hi Joel,
An engaging read that pulled me right through. Only thing I'd say is
that the ending was ever so slightly telegraphed. I'd almost go for not
giving him the heart attack at the end, but maybe just some chest pains
<g>
--
Huw
http://huw.hexlibris.com
Joel Crum
news:5d6e0d4f.03080...@posting.google.com:
> Hi,
>
> I enjoyed your story. Light-hearted and fun, with a morality tale
> twist! I especially liked that you gave some depth to the antagonist
> (Terra).
Thank you. :-) It's been a lot of fun reading the reviews and hearing
who each person sees as the antagonist.
> Two notes:
>
> 1. Programmers rarely use the term "computer code". They prefer
> "source code". On Google, 200,000 matches for the first and 3,100,000
> matches for the second.
Very true and I am one so I should've known better.
> 2. Your comparison to the OSI Model may be over-the-head of your
> audience unless they have a networking or programming background.
Yeah but I couldn't resist.
Thanks for your observations
Patrick Null
"Joel Crum" <yeah> wrote in message
news:Xns93CBBC33CBBA9...@129.250.170.99...
> determine the depth of your critique.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Don't Feed the Trolls
> By Joel Crum
> Copy write 2003
>
> All resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is >purely coincidental;
> I did my darnest not to steal *too* much from any one >person. :-)
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
I won't give a thorough crit on this, Joel, just my impressions. It's good,
but I think that there is quite a bit of fat to be trimmed.
I've read all the posts, and I see that you originally meant for Terra to be
the troll, but I saw Dan as more of a troll. I think the troll should be
more clear cut. If she was really a troll, I think the most normal way of
trolling, would be to intentionally instigate arguments or post off topic,
especially since she's a newbie. She might post a picture of a dick, or a
picture of a corpse or something disgusting. I don't think she would post a
painting, and be on topic like that all the time. John's a special case,
but she's a newbie, know what I mean? She's too nice; I would think that we
would get to see her thoughts of her delight in all the ruckus she's causing
as the group disintegrates into flame wars. It's like she accidentally
started strife, but that doesn't make her a troll-it only makes her naive.
I personally don't like the sections when you pull us out of the story to
explain computers and such because it DOES pull us out of the story, if you
know what I mean.
You have a couple of typos, and there is one mean run on sentence in your
first paragraph.
Generally well done, but I thought the spiteful, mean like troll aspects
should have been brought out more.
Take care.
Joel Crum
news:MPG.1998fc9ed...@192.168.0.1:
> Joel Crum <yeah> wrote:
>
>> I probably won't revise this further, so bear that in mind as you
>> determine the depth of your critique.
>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>> --- Don't Feed the Trolls
>> By Joel Crum
>> Copy write 2003
>
> Hi Joel,
>
> An engaging read that pulled me right through. Only thing I'd say is
> that the ending was ever so slightly telegraphed. I'd almost go for
> not giving him the heart attack at the end, but maybe just some chest
> pains <g>
>
Thanks for the read and the kind words. However I cannot take your
advice; those who feed the trolls must die.
Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Joel Crum
news:bgovq3$r21h7$1...@ID-173005.news.uni-berlin.de:
> I think the troll should be
> more clear cut.
I think you are getting some of my perception there. When I've seen
people provoking fights on Usenet they often honestly believe whatever
they are saying. Those who truly troll (cause dissent for fun) seem to
see it as some sort of performance that everyone enjoys. The lot of them
are nuts, but no one ever sees themselves as a villain.
> I personally don't like the sections when you pull us out of the story
> to explain computers and such because it DOES pull us out of the
> story, if you know what I mean.
True.
> You have a couple of typos, and there is one mean run on sentence in
> your first paragraph.
Thank you for pointing that out as well as the rest of your feedback.
I'll certainly take it into account as I write other things.
nativelaw
"Joel Crum" <yeah> wrote in message
news:Xns93CBBC33CBBA9...@129.250.170.99...
> I probably won't revise this further, so bear that in mind as you
> determine the depth of your critique.
>
Joel, once again an interesting piece! I won't nit but I did read and enjoy
it very much. Instructive. I like how the lines blurred between the two
main characters.
Andrea
Joel Crum
news:bgva0o$t0gv2$1...@ID-198738.news.uni-berlin.de:
Thank you. :-)
--
- Joel C.
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for
the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sydney J. Harris
Alaric
Some super stuff here – images of self-perceived Gods battling over the
Internet. Not sure what Terra’s condition has to do with anything, and it
doesn’t work as an anti-flaming or anti-off topic piece, because any medium
of communication could be at fault. But very enjoyable .
--
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."
HENRY FORD
"Joel Crum" <yeah> wrote in message
news:Xns93CBBC33CBBA9...@129.250.170.99...
Joel Crum
news:bhrkdi$bfa$1...@hercules.btinternet.com:
> Some super stuff here - images of self-perceived Gods battling over
> the Internet.
Thank you, and thanks for your thoughts as well.
> Not sure what Terra's condition has to do with anything,
I've just "known" people like that who get into lots of fights on the
internet. I think anything that effects your judgment makes you more
likely to have trouble.
> and it doesn't work as an anti-flaming or anti-off topic piece,
> because any medium of communication could be at fault. But very
> enjoyable .
Thanks again.