WHAT UPSETS MEN AND WOMEN ABOUT INFIDELITY
Immortalist
observed in societies around the world. Moreover, an evolutionary
approach to sexual jealousy can be scientifically tested. Since men
and women have different vital interests in marriage, the situations
that excite sexual jealousy should differ between the sexes. Because a
single act of infidelity can be a real threat to a husband's
paternity, men should be more upset by the prospect of their wives
committing adultery than women are by the prospect of their husbands'
philandering. After all, a single act of sexual intercourse can
entirely undermine a large chunk of a man's lifetime reproductive
effort. On the other hand, an act of adultery by the husband might
have no negative consequences for the reproductive success of the
wife, although it could be seen as a betrayal of trust and would
expose the wife to increased risk of venereal disease.
If the husband's adulterous behavior continued, resulting in the
formation of a bond of emotional intimacy, however, the wife should
probably be even more concerned. Romantic love is the emotional
dimension of a willingness to provide economic support to the
marriage. At a certain point, the philandering husband might become so
enamored of his lover that he might abandon his wife, choosing to set
up house with her and invest all of his material resources in the
children of the second household, to the detriment of the children of
the first household and their mother.
Consistent with these ideas, David Buss, who is now at the University
of Texas in Austin, and his colleagues, found that men are more likely
than women to say they would be upset by a spouse's sexual infidelity.
Women are more likely to say that they would be upset by indications
that their spouse is forming an emotional attachment to another woman,
however. While interesting, these results can be questioned because
the data are self-reported. It may be that people's intuitions about
how much a hypothetical event would upset them differ from how they
would respond in a real situation.
Such methodology is equivalent to asking research participants, in
some ways, to be their own social psychologists and to draw
conclusions about their own likely responses to a particular scenario.
This may sometimes produce the correct answer. After all, people often
do have good insight into their own motives. Yet, there are many
reasons why people might have insufficient knowledge of their own
motives or might distort their responses to give what they believe is
the "right" answer.
Buss and others also measured physiological responses to the different
scenarios using the same type of apparatus as used in a polygraph
("lie-detector") test, which measures emotional arousal (rather than
lying). Merely thinking about their spouse having sex with a rival
produced a much larger physiological response in men than in women.
For example, the heart rate increased by an amount equivalent to the
effect of drinking two cups of coffee. Assuming that it is much harder
to fake this sort of physiological reaction than it is to fake a
verbal response, the physiological data can serve, to some degree, as
objective confirmation of the self-reports.
Men become extremely upset by the mere thought of their wives being
sexually unfaithful, whereas women seem less upset at the thought of
their husbands having sex with other women. This seems to indicate
that male sexual psychology is shaped by an evolutionary selection
pressure which caused them to be sensitive to any threat to their
paternity. It also helps to explain why jealous men may be motivated
to behave aggressively when confronted by evidence of their spouse's
sexual infidelity. In the case of spousal abuse, it illuminates the
otherwise inexplicable tendency of jealous men to beat their wives and
accuse them of infidelity, even when there is no indication that this
has happened. Of course, this does not excuse or justify such brutal
and irrational behavior in men; it simply explains where it may come
from.
In societies where wives do frequently have extramarital
relationships, such as many of the island societies of the South
Pacific, men may withhold some or all of their investment in children
of the marriage; they thereby protect themselves against wasting their
reproductive investment by nurturing the children of another man. In
such societies, hostility between husbands and their wives is common.
Despite the research noted earlier, it would be a mistake to assume
that women may not be deeply upset by the sexual infidelity of their
husbands. They are more likely, nevertheless, to be sickened by a
betrayal of trust rather than the fact of sexual intercourse itself.
It is thus misleading to assume that women are completely indifferent
to the sexual infidelities of their husbands. Women do feel sexual
jealousy, although they are less likely to respond to jealousy with
deadly violence. Unfortunately, the evolution of male sexual
possessiveness leaves women vulnerable to harassment, coercion, and
even rape.
The Science of Romance - by Nigel Barber
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573929700/
BOfL
SNIP
> Despite the research noted earlier, it would be a mistake to assume
> that women may not be deeply upset by the sexual infidelity of their
> husbands. They are more likely, nevertheless, to be sickened by a
> betrayal of trust rather than the fact of sexual intercourse itself.
>
> It is thus misleading to assume that women are completely indifferent
> to the sexual infidelities of their husbands. Women do feel sexual
> jealousy, although they are less likely to respond to jealousy with
> deadly violence. Unfortunately, the evolution of male sexual
> possessiveness leaves women vulnerable to harassment, coercion, and
> even rape.
>
> The Science of Romance - by Nigel Barberhttp://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573929700/
I think the highest level of trauma is related to the belief that some
have, regarding the principle of soul mates.
Regardless of the gender, if one or the other believes they have met
such a mate, then they suffer most in such situations.
Second to that, are those who "marry their parents". To be abandoned
or cheated on, again, by either gender, is extremely traumatic..
There is no doubting the lessor causes listed. I think my views would
be validated if such research included same sex relationships,
particularly in the second catagory.
Why in that order?
My premise is that each individual is in the process of 'finding
themself', and as they get closer to this realization, they are more
vulnerable to 'chasing shadows'. The shadow, being of them selves:
projecting onto their mate. They know "it" is there, but havnt yet
discovered where 'there' really is, and what 'it' actually is.
To quote a compilation of old masters, " finding yourself comes only
after you have exhausted the external search".
This answers the dillema "if society is becoming more advanced, why is
the incidence of broken marriages on the increase"?, which brings up
another point.
The principles havnt changed for a number of generations, but the
social status of women has allowed them to move on, without derision
from others, and also the diminishing need for financial support from
the ir ex mate. In otherwords, what some would see as society's
contribution to the breakdowns, in reality , in fact fascillitates the
situation of self discovery, the ultimate prize'.
BOfL (alt philosophy)
chazworth
Why respond to a machine?
"Immortalist" is nothing more that copy & paste merchant with very
little to say for himself.
Orgoglio Antifemminista
"Immortalist" <reanima...@yahoo.com> ha scritto nel messaggio
news:8b03c6b0-9464-4a4f...@d32g2000yqh.googlegroups.com...
> The Science of Romance - by Nigel Barber
> http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573929700/
I fully agree
deannie
wrote:
> "Immortalist" <reanimater_2...@yahoo.com> ha scritto nel messaggionews:8b03c6b0-9464-4a4f...@d32g2000yqh.googlegroups.com...
>
> > The Science of Romance - by Nigel Barber
> >http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1573929700/
>
> I fully agree
Women do not care about men's infidelity only because they really do
not care about the guy. What else can you expect from a pirhanna with
a penis attached?
Day Brown
and no longer see men as a reliable form of support? It aint like it was
their idea to export the men's jobs to Mexico or wherever, leaving them
still employed at the hospitals, schools, & bureaucracy.
I dunno that those I know are representative, but FWIW, I see them
moving in with each other, perhaps as dykes, but either way, not averse
to a good fuck with a self powered dildo made of meat. I wish I had
caught on to that earlier.
But there are men they find agreeable, but nevertheless, only care that
they dont get exposed to STDs. I even saw witches host a safe sex orgy
that was enthusiastically attended to with couples, but the women seemed
to get off on it more.
Ovid comes to mind. He reports that Juno and Zeus were having an
argument about which sex got the most pleasure from sex. So, they wen to
see Tireseus, the child of Aphrodite and Hermes, who was sometimes a
woman, and other times a man, so had had sex both ways.
Tireseus thot it over a moment, then:"Why, the woman of course". Juno
was pissed at loosing the argument. So, she:"You are such a fine
referee, I'll make you like all other referees." She blinded Tireseus.
Zeus then:"I cant undo what she did, but if you cant see the present,
I'll fix it so you can see the future."
And in the ancient past, from an era when women were more powerful, we
see what we can expect in our future.
Rod Speed
> Soooo, what happens now that young women make more money than young men,
Like hell they do.
> and no longer see men as a reliable form of support?
Like hell they dont.
> It aint like it was their idea to export the men's jobs to Mexico or wherever, leaving them still employed at the
> hospitals, schools, & bureaucracy.
Plenty of men are employed in jobs that cant be exported to Mexico.
There is no other way the unemployment rate could have bottomed
at 4.x% with an immense legal and illegal immigration rate.
> I dunno that those I know are representative,
Corse those rabid bull dykes arent.
> but FWIW, I see them moving in with each other, perhaps as dykes, but either way, not averse to a good fuck with a
> self powered dildo made of meat.
Pathetic dykes have no other alternative.
> I wish I had caught on to that earlier.
Your problem.
> But there are men they find agreeable,
Yeah, castratis like you. Its always been that way.
> but nevertheless, only care that they dont get exposed to STDs. I even saw witches host a safe sex orgy that was
> enthusiastically attended to with couples, but the women seemed to get off on it more.
Hardly surprising with a pack of bull dykes.
> Ovid comes to mind. He reports that Juno and Zeus were having an
> argument about which sex got the most pleasure from sex. So, they wen to see Tireseus, the child of Aphrodite and
> Hermes, who was sometimes a woman, and other times a man, so had had sex both ways.
Typical wog.
> Tireseus thot it over a moment, then:"Why, the woman of course". Juno was pissed at loosing the argument. So, she:"You
> are such a fine referee, I'll make you like all other referees." She blinded Tireseus. Zeus then:"I cant undo what she
> did, but if you cant see the present, I'll fix it so you can see the future."
So stupid that it hasnt even noticed what's a myth and what is real.
> And in the ancient past, from an era when women were more powerful,
Only in your pathetic little pig ignorant drug crazed fantasyland.
Those wogs made short work of Bodica, raped her silly.
> we see what we can expect in our future.
Only in your pathetic little pig ignorant drug crazed fantasyland.
David P.
> Day Brown wrote:
> > Ovid comes to mind. He reports that Juno & Zeus were
> > having an argument about which sex got the most pleasure
> > Hermes, who was sometimes a woman, & other times a man,
> > so had had sex both ways.
>
> Typical wog.
Wog
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Wog is a slang word with several meanings, some
commonly derogatory, some not.
== As a racial epithet in British English
Wog is in the UK usually regarded as an offensive slang
word referring to dark skinned, non-white people from
Africa or Asia. The origin of the term is uncertain.
Many dictionaries say "wog" possibly derives from the
Golliwogg, a blackface minstrel doll character from a
children's book published in 1895. An alternative is
that "wog" originates from Pollywog, a maritime term
for someone who has not crossed the equator. Attempts
to derive "wog" from such phrases as "Worthy Oriental
Gentleman", "Working On Government Service" (digging
the Suez Canal), "White Oriental Gentleman" or "Western
Oriental Gentleman" are however considered backronyms.
The use of the word is discouraged in Britain, and most
dictionaries refer to the word with the caution that it
is derogatory and offensive slang.
The saying "The wogs begin at Calais" was originated
by George Wigg, Labour MP for Dudley, in 1949. In a
parliamentary debate concerning the Burmese, Wigg
shouted at the Tory benches, "The Honourable Gentleman
and his friends think they are all 'wogs'. Indeed, the
Right Honourable Member for Woodford [i.e. Churchill]
thinks that the 'wogs' begin at Calais." Wigg's coinage,
sometimes paraphrased as "Wogs start at the Channel" or
"Wogs start at Dover", is used to characterise a stodgy
Europhobic viewpoint, and more generally the view that
Britain (more so England) is inherently separate from
(and superior to) the Continent. In this case, "wog"
is used to compare any foreign, non-English person to
those more traditionally labeled "wogs".
== As a synonym for "illness" in Australian English
Wog was originally used in Australia as a slang term
for illnesses such as colds, the flu or malaria. This
usage has been in existence since at least the early
1940s. It is recorded in the 1941 Popular Dictionary
of Australian Slang by S. J. Baker as meaning a germ
or parasite.
A once common expression in Australia (now severely
outdated) when you had an illness (such as cold or flu)
was "I am in bed with a wog." It was said jokingly and
was a double entendre referring to the use of the word
"wog" to describe illness & persons of Mediterranean
origin (as described below).
Another use of the term, which dates from 1909, was to
describe insects and grubs, particularly if they were
hunting insects or regarded as being unpleasant some way.
== As an ethnic reference in Australian English
Wog is also an ethnic slur in Australian English to
denote immigrants principally of Southern European,
Eastern European, and Middle Eastern origins (and since
then, their descendants).
The "ethnic" character of the term "wog" came into
popular use in the 1950s when Australia accepted large
numbers of immigrants from S. Europe's Mediterranean
countries and from Eastern Europe, in contrast to the
then overwhelmingly dominant ethnic Anglo-Celtic stock
of the population. Although originally used pejoratively,
the term is increasingly used more affectionately, esp.
by the individuals the term is used to describe.
The term "wogball" refers to association football,
coming from its popularity among such people. Australians
of Anglo-Celtic ancestry traditionally favour the games
of Rugby football and Australian Rules, although this is
a generalisation.
The term was often used in popular Australian comedy
Kingswood Country between 1979-84 and was used in a
sense that was sometimes pejorative, sometimes
affectionate and sometimes neutral.
The word was prominently used in the popular early 1990s
stage show Wogs Out of Work, created by Greek-Australian
Nick Giannopoulos and Spanish-Australian Simon Palomares.
The production was followed on television with Acropolis
Now, starring Giannopoulos, Palomares, George Kapiniaris
and Mary Coustas, and in film with The Wog Boy.
Nevertheless, the term remains quite offensive to a lot
of people in Australia, particularly people of South-
eastern European origin who grew up in Australia through
the 1950s to 1980s as it was still very much an ethnic
slur or insult.
The derogatory nature of the term when used as an ethnic
slur largely succeeded in overtaking and driving out use
of the term Wog to describe illness or undesirable insects.
== Maritime usage
Wog is a shortened version of the word pollywog,
frequently modified with the word slimy, used for
sailors during the Line-crossing ceremony on the first
time they cross the equator. Pollywog or polliwog is an
increasingly obsolete synonym for tadpole which has been
traced back to Middle English.
This use of pollywog goes back to at least the 19th cent.
and thus may be the oldest source of wog, although Eric
Partridge missed it in his Dictionary of Slang and
Unconventional English (1937).
Maritime wog is a possible alternative ancestor of the
racial wog, particularly since Partridge does record a
usage for presumably annoying Bengali bureaucrats:
"A lower-class babu shipping-clerk: nautical: late C.19-20"
- Concise Dictionary of Slang, Eric Partridge, 1989
== As a term in Scientology
Amongst Scientologists, wog is used as a disparaging
word for non-scientologists.[4] Scientology's founder
L. Ron Hubbard defined wog as a "common, everyday
garden-variety humanoid ... He 'is' a body. [He] doesn't
know he's there, etc. He isn't there as a spirit at all.
He is not operating as a thetan. The term comes from
'Worthy Oriental Gentleman', from the days of the
British in Egypt. [sic]"
L. Ron Hubbard employed the term frequently in his
lectures and writings.
Since wog is not in general use in American English,
it is most likely that Hubbard picked it up during his
period of service as a US naval officer during WW II
(1941-1945). An alternative source would be England,
where he resided 1953-1966.
In Scientology, wog lacks racist overtones, even in the
UK where that meaning is prevalent. From a 2004 Church
of Scientology magazine: "I arrived at Saint Hill shy,
introverted and somewhat out of valence. I had been
working at a wog job, and I knew my priorities had to
change ..."
.
.
--
Rod Speed
>> Typical wog.
And hordes of them call themselves wogs now.
the wharf rat
Day Brown <dayh...@gmail.com> wrote:
>Soooo, what happens now that young women make more money than young men,
>and no longer see men as a reliable form of support?
Lots of complaining about how there are no good men left followed
by an equally large amount of taking up with the very men they complain
about not being good enough?
Actually we see purely domestic duties being taken over by
larger number of male partners. Which is cool I think rather than
an indication of the collapse of civilization.
>their idea to export the men's jobs to Mexico or wherever, leaving them
Of course it was. The bulk of consumer dollars are spent by women.
Consumer choice drives the free market. Free market forces are what drives
jobs to the cheapest labor pools. Women's consumer choices drive jobs to
the cheapest labor pools.
Day Brown
> In article <4a56ac3c$0$15959$ec3e...@news.usenetmonster.com>,
> Day Brown <dayh...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Soooo, what happens now that young women make more money than young men,
>> and no longer see men as a reliable form of support?
>
> Lots of complaining about how there are no good men left followed
> by an equally large amount of taking up with the very men they complain
> about not being good enough?
>
> Actually we see purely domestic duties being taken over by
> larger number of male partners. Which is cool I think rather than
> an indication of the collapse of civilization.
only the change, in what passes for civilization. However, it could pass
thru a period of anarchy and chaos before re-organizing.
>> their idea to export the men's jobs to Mexico or wherever, leaving them
>
> Of course it was. The bulk of consumer dollars are spent by women.
> Consumer choice drives the free market. Free market forces are what drives
> jobs to the cheapest labor pools. Women's consumer choices drive jobs to
> the cheapest labor pools.
Capitalism would seem to dictate the lowest cost of living, the lowest
cost of management, and the lowest cost of labor. That would be in a
rural agrarian village where the vast majority of the resources used are
"vertically integrated". In an economy with rising transportation fuel
prices and taxes, the distance from production to consumption is nearly
zero, and without 'selling' anything to anyone, there are no sales or
VAT taxes.
And since none of the women would be dependent on any particular man for
her resources, monogamy would go out of style along with Christianity,
for similar reasons. Religion always follows the model of the power
structure, so women running things, will then worship the Goddess.
the wharf rat
Day Brown <dayh...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>Capitalism would seem to dictate the lowest cost of living, the lowest
>cost of management, and the lowest cost of labor. That would be in a
>rural agrarian village where the vast majority of the resources used are
Lol. Quite a jump. All capitalism actually dictates is that
the owners of the means of production control the economic course of
society. You're trying to infer that because such people generally
seek the highest return on capital they always optimize for lowest
cost of production. But that's simply not true. There are a myriad
of other factors including type of good, demand curve, type of market, and
risk tolerance.
>And since none of the women would be dependent on any particular man for
>her resources, monogamy would go out of style along with Christianity,
I'm not sure sexual jealousy has anything to do with
economic power.
Day Brown
> In article <4a58ecd1$0$15957$ec3e...@news.usenetmonster.com>,
> Day Brown <dayh...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Capitalism would seem to dictate the lowest cost of living, the lowest
>> cost of management, and the lowest cost of labor. That would be in a
>> rural agrarian village where the vast majority of the resources used are
>
> Lol. Quite a jump. All capitalism actually dictates is that
> the owners of the means of production control the economic course of
> society. You're trying to infer that because such people generally
> seek the highest return on capital they always optimize for lowest
> cost of production. But that's simply not true. There are a myriad
> of other factors including type of good, demand curve, type of market, and
> risk tolerance.
If you combine all those above factors, then you have a plan that will
draw investment. If not, then not.
>> And since none of the women would be dependent on any particular man for
>> her resources, monogamy would go out of style along with Christianity,
>
> I'm not sure sexual jealousy has anything to do with
> economic power.
You dont? well, sorry about that.