BABES ON THE WEB FAQ
Robert Toups
BABES ON THE WEB
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Version 2.0
http://www.echonyc.com/~robtoups/BABE.html
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Posting-Frequency: Hey, when ever I get around to it.
Date Created: 10/22/1995
Last-Modified: 01/10/1996
FAQ Archive: http://www.echonyc.com/~robtoups/BotW_FAQ.html
Maintainer: Robert M. Toups, Jr. (robt...@echonyc.com)
BABES ON THE WEB AWARDS:
Selected as BEST OF 1995 by Internet World Magazine
Selected as WORST OF 1995 by Entertainment Weekly
Selected as WORST OF THE WEB by Mirsky
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Contents: * Recent changes
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Section 1: The Who, What, When, Where, Why and How...
1.0 Who is the author of BABES ON THE WEB (BotW)?
1.1 What is BotW?
1.2 When did BotW appear on the World Wide Web?
1.3 Where do the Women's (BABES) URLs come from?
1.4 Why did you start BotW?
1.5 How often is BotW updated?
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Section 2: The TOUPSIE SCALE
2.0 What is the TOUPSIE SCALE?
2.1 Using the TOUPSIE SCALE, how do you rate BABE Pages?
2.2 Is the TOUPSIE SCALE subjective or objective?
2.3 What is a BABE-O-RAMA?
*2.4 What is a BABE-O-ROONIE?
*2.5 What is a BABE-O-MUNDO?
2.6 What is a BABE-O-MATIC?
2.7 What gives you the right to utilize the TOUPSIE SCALE?
2.8 How was the TOUPSIE SCALE created?
2.9 Can I use the TOUPSIE SCALE without special training?
2.10 What the hell is a TOUPSIE and how did it get on a SCALE?
2.11 Does nudity influence the TOUPSIE SCALE?
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Section 3: BotW is a sexist, evil World Wide Web Page...
*3.0 How many complaints have you received about BABES ON THE WEB?
*3.1 Are there any Anti-BABES ON THE WEB (ANTI-BotW) pages?
*3.1.1 Kim Rollins
*3.1.2 Dav Amann
*3.1.3 Ellen Spertus
*3.1.4 Kate Gardner
*3.1.5 Liz Lawley
*3.1.6 Blake Kritzberg
*3.2 Why do you make fun of the National Organization of Women (NOW)?
*3.3 I want to complain to your service provider. Who do I contact?
*3.4 I believe in Free Speech but you are abusing it. Are you going to
stop?
*3.5 You are a sexist pig and a threat to women. How do you feel about
that?
*3.6 I am a man and a feminist, what you do isn't cool. Can't you be a
real man?
*3.7 Isn't what you are doing the reason that Congress wants to control
the Internet?
*3.8 Hey smart guy, bet you wouldn't rate you female relatives. Will
you? Hmmm...
*3.9 What right do you have to list BABES's URLs!?!?!
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Section 4: The WIRED BotW Full Page Nude Spread
4.0 What kind of notebook was covering your, well, you know?
4.1 Were you really naked in that photo?
4.2 Where was the photo taken?
4.3 Is it really true that a Macintosh Duo wasn't big enough to cover
your, well, you know?
*4.4 Hey you were kind of rubenesque in that picture, how much did you
weigh?
*4.5 Would you do it again?
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Section 5: Miscellaneous Questions
*5.0 How many URLs are listed?
5.1 Do you know any BABES that want a date?
*5.2 How many people have visited BotW?
5.3 I want to advertise on BotW, how much does it cost?
5.4 What is the URL for BABES ON THE WEB II?
*5.5 Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?
5.6 Do BABES actually get hired because they were listed on BotW?
5.7 How is Ms. BABE-O-RAMA selected?
*5.8 How many TV Shows, Radio Shows, Newspapers and Magazines has BotW
been mentioned in?
5.9 Was BotW chosen as a 'Cool Site of the Day'?
*5.10 I want to be notified when BotW is updated. How do I do that?
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Disclaimer
History
Credits
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Section 1: The Who, What, When, Where, Why and How...
1.0 Who is the author of BABES ON THE WEB (BotW)?
The author of BotW is Robert Michael Toups, Jr. A 27 year-old
Director of Internet Operations at Link Magazine; a 1,000,000
circ college magazine. More information regarding Mr. Toups's
life can be found at (http://www.echonyc.com/~robtoups/ME.html).
1.1 What is BotW?
It is a list of women's web pages from around the world with
Mr. Toups's silly, satirical spin applied to it.
1.2 When did BotW appear on the World Wide Web?
May 7, 1995
1.3 Where do the Women's (BABES) URLs come from?
All URLs are submitted to the author of BotW. Mr. Toups does
not surf the Web for BABES pages. Majority of the URLs are
submitted by the page authors themselves. All that is required
to submit a BABE page is to send the URL via e-mail to
(robt...@echonyc.com).
*1.4 Why did you start BotW?
To bring about the termination of Clinton Administration
through excessive Web Browsing by government officials and
employees. Esquire Magazine reported that G.A.O. has estimated
the cost of BotW at roughly $1,000,000 in lost time and
equipment use by U.S. Government employees (including
military). If my plan works, by May 1996, the U.S. Government
will slow to a halt as more and more U.S. Government employees
begin spending their time on BotW. The recent Federal Government
shutdown was Clinton's attempt to cut the site traffic of BotW.
In has been reported in the alt.conspiracy newgroup that the *real*
reason that BotW was knocked off Tyrell was a plot to save Clinton
by the Trilateral Commission protecting their goal of a New World Order.
1.5 How often is BotW updated?
Hey, when ever I get around to it. But I do try to make it
monthly with a new Ms. BABE-O-RAMA.
Section 2: The TOUPSIE SCALE
2.0 What is the TOUPSIE SCALE?
The TOUPSIE SCALE is a non-scientific, totally subjective
device that means nothing. The TOUPSIE SCALE is used by Robert
M. Toups, Jr. to spice up what would be a boring list of links
to Women's World Wide pages.
2.1 Using the TOUPSIE SCALE, how do you rate BABES page?
By utilizing the personal photos of the BABES from the neck
up. What's above the neck? That is for the viewer to decide.
2.2 Is the TOUPSIE SCALE subjective or objective?
Completely subjective to my whims and attitude during the
evaluation of the BABE page in question.
2.3 What is a BABE-O-RAMA?
A BABE'S page that obtains FOUR TOUPSIES.
*2.4 What is a BABE-ROONIE?
A BABE's page that obtain THREE TOUPSIES. The name was created by DEC/JAN
Ms. BABE-O-RAMA, Kristina Pfaff. It furthers the confusion created by the
TOUPSIE SCALE and therefore a welcomed addition to the TOUPSIE SCALE.
*2.5 What is a BABE-ROONIE?
A BABE's page that obtain TWO TOUPSIES. The name was created by DEC/JAN
Ms. BABE-O-RAMA, Kristina Pfaff. It furthers the confusion created by the
TOUPSIE SCALE and therefore a welcomed addition to the TOUPSIE SCALE.
2.6 What is a BABE-O-MATIC?
A BABE'S page that obtains ONE TOUPSIE.
2.7 What gives you the right to utilize the TOUPSIE SCALE?
The TOUPSIE SCALE is a very dangerous device and I know that a
few people are concerned about its safe application. After 27
years of being a TOUPS, I feel that I have obtained the
maturity and discipline to utilize the TOUPSIE SCALE within
its tight margin of safety.
2.8 How was the TOUPSIE SCALE created?
The TOUPSIE SCALE derives its origin from a mysterious
combination of a few Jim Beam & Cokes, an Australian Public
Radio T-Shirt and the absolute brilliance of the author of
BotW. USA Today described its creation as "not lacking
in hubris".
2.9 Can I use the TOUPSIE SCALE without special training?
No. The TOUPSIE SCALE is a very powerful system for evaluating
the World Wide Web Pages of BABES. Its usage by those other
than the author can cause serious harm and possibly embarassment.
The author cannot be held responsible for unauthorized usage of
the TOUPSIE SCALE. Kids don't try this at home.
*2.10 What the hell is a TOUPSIE and how did it get on a SCALE?
A TOUPSIE is a thumbnail size picture of the author of BotW, Robert
M. Toups, Jr., posed with a Macanudo. The photo was taken on my
QuickTake 100 by the Associate Editor, Cheryl Della Pietra, of
Link, The College Magazine during a party at the Publisher's home.
In the past a TOUPSIE was posed in the same manner as computer marketing
guru/icon Peter Norton whose company laid off the author when
Symantec bought out Fifth Generation Systems, Inc. Its
evolution into the TOUPSIE SCALE is still a mystery but held in
certain circles as the product of Jacob Beam's 7 year-old
beverage. The combination of up to FOUR TOUPSIES make up the
TOUPSIE SCALE. TOUPSIES have been tested on cute and fuzzy animals
for your protection. Please do not multi-task while viewing TOUPSIES.
2.11 Does nudity influence the TOUPSIE SCALE?
No. In fact, professional nudity on a Web Page prevents a
woman from being selected as a BABE ON THE WEB. Only nudity as
a hobby or charitable nakedness is allowed on the BABE Page if
it is to be listed on BotW. As a side note, any page submitted
that contains a combination of Professional Nakedness, Psychic
Services for a Fee and Cuddly Kitty Cat Stories will be
mocked.
Section 3: BotW is a sexist, evil World Wide Web Page...
*3.0 How many complaints have you received about BABES ON THE WEB?
When BotW began it received roughly 50 negative comments via
e-mail and two World Wide Web pages focusing the absolute evil
of BotW. After the initial minor stream of disgruntled
individuals, BotW, on average, receives 3 complaints a month.
BotW receives over 30 e-mail messages a day that are not
complaints.
*3.1 Are there any Anti-BABES ON THE WEB pages?
Yes. Several individuals have taken their time and effort to
generate World Wide Web Pages focused on the absolute evil of
BotW. As dangerous as BotW is, the introduction on the World
Wide Web of this sort of effort was fully expected by the
author. Below is a complete listing of the various attacks on
BotW along with the e-mail addresses of these extremely brave
and morally correct individuals.
*3.1.1 Kim Rollins (cir...@omnigroup.com)
Ms. Rollins's ANTI-BotW page focuses mainly on her
previous inclusion in BotW and that she was slandered by
the BotW author due to the application of a FOUR TOUPSIE
to her World Wide Web page. Ms. Rollins's effort is
tremendous as she has spent countless hours designing
numerous Web pages attacking the BotW author and
Journalists, defending her hobby of lingerie photography
and the posting of private e-mail correspondence. This is
the most extensive ANTI-BotW page and is the perfect
example of what can happen when you take things a tad bit
too serious. A interesting side note is Ms. Rollins's
quote about her home page. "I must use my homepage to
destroy the enemy, who is trying to kill me." See what I mean?
With this in mind you can access Ms. Rollins at
(http://www.omnigroup.com/People/cirocco/picture.html).
*3.1.2 Dav Amann (do...@leland.stanford.edu)
His ANTI-BotW page named 'Men are Pigs' takes to task the
author of BotW for listing the URLs of women. As a vocal
male feminist, it is clear that Mr. Amann feels that women
need protection from individuals such as the author of
BotW and does so by calling him 'Spincter Boy'. Obviously,
Mr. Amann belief in feminism derives from a understanding
that women are weak and need his protection from the
absolute evil of BotW coupled with a scatalogical desire to
make 'poo-poo' references. Mr. Amann also displays his
feminist fury in attacking Glenn Davis, operator of 'Cool
Site of the Day' for selecting the TOUPS Zone as 'Cool
Site of the Day'. His 'Men are Pigs' page can be accessed
at (http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~dove/kilroy1.html).
*3.1.3 Ellen Spertus (ell...@ai.mit.edu)
Ms. Spertus is a true believer in free speech and as such
makes the case that service providers should ban pages
such as BotW. She takes the time to threaten the author's
employment opportunities, make casual edits to change the
meaning of the BotW author's writings and establishes
herself as the expert in World Wide Web publishing. Her
scholarly work can be accessed at
(http://www.ai.mit.edu/people/ellens/Gender/webwomen.html).
*3.1.4 Kate Gardner (ka...@u.washington.edu)
Ms. Gardner presents a minor work of the ANTI-BotW genre.
The most notable aspect is her revelation about herself
which is "Okay, I suck." The BotW author is not clear as
to what she sucks. You can make that determination yourself
by accessing her page at (http://weber.u.washington.edu/~katya/).
*3.1.5 Liz Lawley (ela...@ua1vm.ua.edu)
Ms. Lawley is in one of those classic 'Midol' Web Design
moments. She attacks the BotW author's motivations, questions
his sexuality, physical appearance, social capability,
threatens his service provider and is upset that the
author of BotW changed his home page picture. This
eclectic jumble of thoughts can be accessed at
(http://www.itcs.com/elawley/picture.html).
*3.1.6 Blake Kritzberg (krit...@ucsub.colorado.edu)
Ms. Krtizberg's ANTI-BotW page really isn't. She set up
the page because I never included her on BotW. She is also
the author of BABES ON THE WEB II. This page is a complete
joke and what is surprising is how many people didn't get
it (including the author of BotW). You can access her
ANTI-BotW spoof at
(http://ucsub.colorado.edu/~kritzber/new/anti_rob.html).
*3.2 Why do you make fun of the National Organization of Women
(NOW)?
Why not? They make fun of some of my beliefs. When it comes to
supporting women on the Internet, BotW has excelled. NOW just
asked for cash. Not only is BotW the largest collection of the
World Wide Web pages of BABES on the planet but it is also the
best avenue for women to display their beliefs to the largest
audience possible. Empowerment comes from the expression of
oneself. What does NOW do? Tells you what you are a victim of
today and then tags you for a donation.
*3.3 I want to complain to your service provider. Who do I contact?
Please do. For a complete staff listing of my current and
original Internet Service Provider, ECHOnyc (http://www.echonyc.com),
send a blank e-mail message to in...@echonyc.com. If you need
immediate gratification of anger, you can access their World
Wide Web page at http://www.echonyc.com/. I am sure the BABE-O-RAMAs
of the woman owned and operated ECHO will provide an appropriate
reply.
*3.4 I believe in Free Speech but you are abusing it. Are you going
to stop?
Nope. I am not going to stop. You cannot abuse Free Speech,
only use it. If you truly believe in free speech, the only
thing you do in response to BotW is wish for its continued
existence as you would wish for the continued existence of
your own intellectual property.
*3.5 You are a sexist pig and a threat to women. How do you feel
about that?
Then why would a majority of BABES submit their web pages to
me and not other collections of BABES Pages? BotW is larger
than any feminists listing of BABE Pages. Another thought is why
would America's #1 Woman owned and operated Internet Service Provider
supply space for BotW?
3.6 I am a man and a feminist, what you do isn't cool. Can't you
be a real man?
Aren't you wonderful but the 'Nineties Sensitive New Age Guy'
method of attracting women is a bit worn. Instead of ruffling
your cock feathers in response to BotW, discover what women
feel on the subject by surfing the over 300 URLs they have
submitted.
3.7 Isn't what you are doing the reason that Congress wants to
control the Internet?
No. They just don't want you to see naked people or say
naughty words. There is no nakedness stored on BotW and the
worst naughty word I use is 'damn'.
3.8 Hey smart guy, bet you wouldn't rate your female relatives.
Would you? Hmmm...
Yes I would, but none of them have World Wide Web Pages.
Therefor, I have not been able to utilize the TOUPSIE SCALE on
their pages.
3.9 What right do you have to list BABES's URLs!?!?!
For one, anytime you publish a document and make it available
in the public domain on the shelves of the world's library,
the Internet, you are making it available for cataloging into
collection. Just as a card catalog organizes published books
in alphabetical order with a description, BotW performs the
same function with published BABE pages. Plus majority of the
URLs are submitted by the BABE Page authors for cataloging.
Section 4: The WIRED BotW Full Page Nude Spread
4.0 What kind of notebook was covering your, well you know?
An Apple Macintosh PowerBook 160 8/80. Sorry Bill Gates,
I'll cover my privates with a Mac. Windows '95 has no
sound virus protection.
4.1 Were you really naked in that photo?
Only my Macintosh knows...
4.2 Where was the photo taken?
In the study of my parents house. My mother, Betty, had fun
entertaining the film crew as I posed with my trusty
PowerBook. Dad thought I should have worn a coat and tie. In
his opinion, mass media nakedness is not really that
'professional'.
4.3 Is it really true that a Macintosh Duo wasn't big enough to
cover your, well you know?
Lets just say I felt more comfortable with the margin of
coverage the PowerBook 160 provided compared to the Macintosh
PowerBook Duo. Apple must be commended on their fore thought in
computer notebook design.
*4.4 Hey you were kind of rubenesque in that picture, how much did
you weigh?
I was 225 lbs. when the photo was taken. Since that photo
shoot I am now down to 180 lbs. with only 5 more pounds to
reach my target weight. Next on the list...Playgirl. You can visit
my 'BODY BY TOUPSIE' site to see the progress at:
http://www.echonyc.com/~robtoups/TOUPSIES_BOD.html
*4.5 Would you do it again?
Yes. Even more now that I am 50 pounds lighter.
Section 5: Miscellaneous Questions
5.0 How many URLs are listed?
Over 350 URLs.
5.1 Do you know any BABES that want a date?
This is not an escort service, people. The most risque' thing
on this page is talking about the Professionally Naked and I
said 'damn', there, see, I said it again. This is not about
sex, its about women, their lives, careers, likes, dislikes,
boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, pets, kids, or whatever
they feel like sharing to an audience of over 2 million BABES
visitors. If you started thinking about women outside the act
of intercourse, you might not have to ask me that question and
actually experience the act of intercourse.
*5.2 How many people have visited BotW?
Over 3 million visitors. Some interesting USER IPs are
nobody.house.gov and gateway.senate.gov. The Senate IP mosre than
likely originated either from Teddy Kennedy or Bob Packwood.
5.3 I want to advertise on BotW, how much does it cost?
BotW does not accept advertising. And no you can't make it
worth my while.
5.4 What is the URL for BABES ON THE WEB II?
http://ucsub.colorado.edu/~kritzber/new/whats_new.html
*5.5 Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend?
No, I am single and unattached. No, BotW is not a dating service for
the author or intended to be for the BotW users.
5.6 Do BABES actually get hired because they were listed on BotW?
Yes. Three BABES have been hired by large technology based
companies because they appeared on BotW.
5.7 How is Ms. BABE-O-RAMA selected?
I really don't know. It has been a different method each time. The
first 1st Ms. BABES-O-RAMA was selected based on a N.R.A. baseball
cap, 2nd reminded me of a pro-feminist Virginia Slims ad, 3rd asked
first and the 4th asked first and displayed an interest in Naval
Haberdashery.
5.8 How many TV Shows, Radio Shows, Newspapers and Magazines has
BotW been mentioned in?
Over 150 media venues have taken the time to write/talk about
BotW. Some notable ones are USA Today, WIRED, Internet World,
Esquire, New Yorker, .net, c|net and Houston Chronicle. I have
information that BotW ran as a syndicated 'Internet is Whacky' piece in
over one hundred small and medium market newspapers. Another
information source leads me to believe that BotW was the subject of
Italian TV Chat Shows but due to my poor Italian, I am not
quite sure I understood the e-mail correctly. Japan also has a
big cult following for BotW. By belief is that BotW is the most
popular non-commercial/non-porno/non-media worship site.
5.9 Was BotW chosen as a 'Cool Site of the Day'?
No. Glenn Davis says that only 'The TOUPS Zone' was selected
as 'Cool Site of the Day'. That's his story and he's sticking
to it.
*5.10 I want to be notified when BotW is updated. How do I do that?
Send a blank e-mail message with "update" in the subject (without the
quotes) and send it to (robt...@echonyc.com). You will be added to the
'BotW UPDATE DATABASE' which monitors BotW and if the site is updated,
it will send you a notice.
Disclaimer
The author of this FAQ is not responsible...
Caution/Achtung:
The author purposely refers to himself randomly in the third
person to tweak the pet peave of a particular ANTI-BotW author.
This will help further the delusion.
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History
VERSION 1.0 - FAQ Created
VERSION 2.0 - FAQ Updated for recent events and the Move from TYRELL to ECHONYC
was noted. The new URL and E-Mail address added. New TOUPSIEs
explained.
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Credits
The author of this FAQ would like to thank himself for taking the time and
effort to write this document. I also want to thank the millions of BotW
viewers.
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(c) 1995 - Capitalist Tool Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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