funnies (fwd)

[Ruth N. Priester]

i haven't been saying much because it is near the end of the semester
but i know how much you guys like mail, and i deleted the stupider ones.
ruth

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>Stephen Wright one-liners ......
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>Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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>I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
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>I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
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>I intend to live forever - so far, so good
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>If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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>I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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>I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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>Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
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>For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
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>OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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>Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
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>All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
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>I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
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