How many Tolkien fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Foo
Nine to form a fellowship and carry the old one to the Cracks of Mount
Doom to destroy it...
One Bulb to rule them all
One Bulb to find them
One Bulb to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them!
hmm...
How many hobbits does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One stands on another's shoulder to reach the bulb, while several more
mill about looking for second breakfast...
think . o O ( Variations on a theme... any other good ones? )
Chris Kern
I think it takes eleven.
Three to argue about whether Tolkien's letters and unpublished
manuscripts prove that he had gotten rid of lightbulbs
Two to argue about whether the "light" in light bulbs is evidence of
racism
Two to argue about whether or not the word "bulb" is a metaphor or
simile, or whether an actual "bulb" exists
Three to complain about the inadequate representation of lightbulbs in
the movie
And one to actually screw it in.
-Chris
Janet Cone
says...
wings...
Donald Shepherd
(ke...@grinnell.edu) says...
And 40-odd TEUNCs to make silly comments and not do anything about it.
--
*Dlanod*, *the* *Sparkly* *Nazgul*
Pimp of Morgoth
Worshipper of Arwen Lune
saurin the sorserer
One Lampshade to find them,
One Lampshade to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them!
How many hobbits does it take to operate a dimmer switch?
None. They're too busy drawing short straws.
How many hobbits does it take to burst a bubble?
One to read the rules and nine to stick the pins in.
How do you get two whales in a mini?
Drive there.
One Point to start them all,
One Point to make them,
One Point to end them all
And in a moment take them!
m
Michael O'Neill
Let us know if you find *any* good ones...
<shakes head>
Don't give up the day job.
M.
MAG
"Janet Cone" <la...@zfree.co.nz> wrote
> Chris, you forgot the five fans who are discussing whether or not it has
> wings...
Err..uhhh... why'd the Balrog cross the bridge?
Because he couldn't fly!
((((puts head on desk and solemnly writes off a career in comedy))))))
Flame of the West
> Two to argue about whether the "light" in light bulbs is evidence of
> racism
ROTFL! Almost fell out my seat!
--
-- FotW
Reality is for those who cannot cope with Middle-earth.
David Wall
The part about metaphor and simile was a reference to balrogs, I
think. At least that's how I took it.
No, I insist! He meant balrogs, you bulb-believing cretin, and if
you disagree, then you're a blithering idiot who couldn't read their
way out of a one-room maze with huge signs pointing to the exit.
"Bulb" is obviously a metaphor for balrog wings. Metaphor, ok? Look
it up! Yes, I DO know what he was thinking -- it's bloody obvious!
sheesh....
/me grins and runs away...
--
David K. Wall - dar...@one.net
"Oook."
Beeblebear
MAG <gold...@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:xALh8.275$9V5.25...@newssvr17.news.prodigy.com...
I may currently be drunk - but LOL
--
--
Chris Lyth (cl...@ifis.org.uk)
As the evening sky faded from a salmon colour to a sort of flint
grey, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and
how grey he was, and how I named him Flint.
>
>
Smaug69
incoherently:
That would be replacing light bulbs, I presume.
--------
I am a matador with my leaf blower!
Smaug69
<jsolina...@erols.com>, mumbled incoherently:
>Chris Kern wrote:
>
>> Two to argue about whether the "light" in light bulbs is evidence of
>> racism
>
>ROTFL! Almost fell out my seat!
Seriously, though<doing best Nat X impersonation>, why are light bulbs
(and light) white? And why is dark- which is black and the absence of
light- always considered bad? Why? 'Cause the MAN made it that way.
paulh
Cos primitive humans were a daytime species with little ability to
hunt/defend at night. Our eyes are good but not night adapted and our
other senses are poor.
So ancient humans huddled in caves and on branches listening to the
howls of the night predators, and awaited dawn..
If we were descended from Owls we'd probably see it differently.
paulh
Bryan S. Slick
[Sat, 09 Mar 2002 06:42:43 GMT]
:On Sat, 09 Mar 2002 04:16:10 GMT, smau...@xxcarolina.rrxx.com
Oh good God.
Ladies and gentlemen... paulh, Most Humorless Man on Usenet.
--
Bryan S. Slick, bryan at slick-family dot net
"To those who preserve it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never
know."
paulh
<br...@slick-family.not> wrote:
>:>>Chris Kern wrote:
>:>>
>:>>> Two to argue about whether the "light" in light bulbs is evidence of
>:>>> racism
>:>>
>:>>ROTFL! Almost fell out my seat!
>:>
>:>Seriously, though<doing best Nat X impersonation>, why are light bulbs
>:>(and light) white? And why is dark- which is black and the absence of
>:>light- always considered bad? Why? 'Cause the MAN made it that way.
>:
>:Cos primitive humans were a daytime species with little ability to
>:hunt/defend at night. Our eyes are good but not night adapted and our
>:other senses are poor.
>:So ancient humans huddled in caves and on branches listening to the
>:howls of the night predators, and awaited dawn..
>:
>:If we were descended from Owls we'd probably see it differently.
>:
>:paulh
>
>Oh good God.
>
>Ladies and gentlemen... paulh, Most Humorless Man on Usenet.
Whats a Nat X Impersonation anyway?
I don't understand!!!
paulh
Smaug69
Saturday Night Live...Chris Rock character...Big Afro...black power...hilarious...
Smaug69
paulh
>> >:Cos primitive humans were a daytime species with little ability to
>> >:hunt/defend at night. Our eyes are good but not night adapted and our
>> >:other senses are poor.
>> >:So ancient humans huddled in caves and on branches listening to the
>> >:howls of the night predators, and awaited dawn..
>> >:
>> >:If we were descended from Owls we'd probably see it differently.
>> >:
>> >:paulh
>> >
>> >Oh good God.
>> >
>> >Ladies and gentlemen... paulh, Most Humorless Man on Usenet.
>>
>> Whats a Nat X Impersonation anyway?
>>
>> I don't understand!!!
>
>Saturday Night Live...Chris Rock character...Big Afro...black power...hilarious...
>
>Smaug69
I've heard of SNL and Chris Rock.
Never see either I don't think....mebbe Chris Rock.
But I guess parochial jokes dont work well on Usenet.
paulh
Bryan S. Slick
[Sun, 10 Mar 2002 16:33:14 GMT]
:>Saturday Night Live...Chris Rock character...Big Afro...black power...hilarious...
:>
:>Smaug69
:
:I've heard of SNL and Chris Rock.
:Never see either I don't think....mebbe Chris Rock.
:But I guess parochial jokes dont work well on Usenet.
:
:paulh
Well, you certainly don't. ;)
paulh
<br...@slick-family.not> wrote:
>[paulh]
>[Sun, 10 Mar 2002 16:33:14 GMT]
>
>:>Saturday Night Live...Chris Rock character...Big Afro...black power...hilarious...
>:>
>:>Smaug69
>:
>:I've heard of SNL and Chris Rock.
>:Never see either I don't think....mebbe Chris Rock.
>:But I guess parochial jokes dont work well on Usenet.
>:
>:paulh
>
>Well, you certainly don't. ;)
STILL waiting for your backdown to Conrad..
Moral Hypocrite...
paulh
Bryan S. Slick
[Sun, 10 Mar 2002 18:40:13 GMT]
:On Sun, 10 Mar 2002 13:16:23 -0500, Bryan S. Slick
You have no idea what you're even talking about, do you?
Roast in Hell, fool.
paulh
<br...@slick-family.not> wrote:
>:>:I've heard of SNL and Chris Rock.
>:>:Never see either I don't think....mebbe Chris Rock.
>:>:But I guess parochial jokes dont work well on Usenet.
>:>:
>:>:paulh
>:>
>:>Well, you certainly don't. ;)
>:
>:STILL waiting for your backdown to Conrad..
>:
>:Moral Hypocrite...
>:
>:paulh
>
>You have no idea what you're even talking about, do you?
>
>Roast in Hell, fool.
Still waiting...
You have a nice day...
paulh
Smaug69
SNL is not parochial.
Smaug69