E-text: Book V, Chapter 9
Morgil Blackhope
Morgil
Chapter 9
The Last Debate
(about wheter or not Balrogs have wings.)
Pipsqueak woke up from a deep sleep, thinking he had heard somebody call his
name. As he lay there in the darkness, he heard it again: /Paragraph Took,
hear my voice!/ At first he thought it was Gandalf, but this voice was
different; it was full of warmth, love, and sympathy, so much unlike
Gandalf's nervous babbling. This voice spoke the truth and Pipsqueak would
listen to it and obey what it would command.
/Beware! Gandalf has betrayed you all. Frodo must not be allowed to
complete his mission, and you are the only one who can stop him. Find an
Eagle who's heart is pure, and fly to Mount Doom. You must stop Frodo at all
cost, for if you don't, all of Muddle-Earth will fall into darkness!/
"Sss... uh, Aruman??" whispered Pipsqueak with trembling voice. He sprang
up, but there was nobody at the room, but as an echo he still could hear:
/Even the smelliest personnnnn.../
Hand in hand, like lovers do, giggling Giggly and leggy Lego-Lass waltzed
into the City, after morning came; for she wanted to do some shopping, and
folk that saw them pass marvelled to see such an open display of
inter-racial affection; for long had Minas Tirith(tm) been yoked by a strict
moral code of the Stewards.
"There are endless lines of toy-stores here," said Giggly looking around.
"But none for the adults, if you know what I mean. When Aragon takes over, I
will talk to him about opening a chain of erotic-shops, selling finest
handmade Dwarvish instruments of pleasure."
"They need more strip-clubs and escort-services too," said Lego-Lass.
"When Aragon liberates the City, the people of the Wood will send to him
their best exotic dancers, and courtesans who won't hesitate on performing
any act."
Their casual conversation was interrupted by Arwen, who came running after
them. "Where the hell is my beloved Aragon?!" she said. "He's nowhere in the
camp, and his bed hasn't been slept on whole night! That bastard better have
a good explanation for this." The warrior maiden was unconsciously squeezing
her sabre-hilt with her knuckles white.
"Hard to say," said Lego-Lass with false sincerity. "Is there an
all-you-can-eat buffet anywhere nearby?" Giggly giggled uncontrollably, and
Arwen gave a menacing glance to the grinning Elven-maid. "Ok, ok. Just
kidding," she continued. "I think he's with Gandalf. They seemed to have
planned to hold some kind of meeting at the conference-room on the top-floor
of the Tower. Gandalf specifically warned everybody not to tell you..."
"That treacherous Wizard is up to no-good again!" Arwen bit her lip. Then
the expression in her face brightened. "If I stop his evil plans, I can
still be the hero of the Episode 3!" With this she leaped away and rushed
away, pushing surprised guards aside.
"She's such a bitch!" said Lego-Lass. "I hate her, I really do."
"Never mind that," said Giggly. "Come over here and tell me who do you
like!"
They were standing outside the ancient citadel where once great
film-moguls had dwelled, and the morning-sun shone upon them. The air of
this sacred place seemed to be filled with history and memories of the
glorious days of yore, which seemed to demand respect and quiet awe.
"Take me Giggly," cried Lego-Lass. "Right here at the heart of the old
Magic Kingdom!"
And he took her, and he cared not that they were on open place in the
sight of many. And many indeed saw them, and even more heard the noises they
were making as they plighted their troth and were glad until the guards came
and arrested them for Public naughtiness.
The Dwarf and the She-Elf were taken to the guardhouse, where they were
given their one errand-call and then locked in the cell of poor hygiene(tm).
When Lego-Lass looked out of the small window of their cell, she could see
strange things flocking around the empty marketplace, pecking a toscan
salami.
"Look!" she cried. "Goons! They are far from the studio 5. A wonder they
are to me and annoyenment such as I never have felt. Alas! For the goons and
their yin-tong cries. No peace shall I have again in mortal lands."
She sighed, and sitting down on a bench covered with filthy hays, begun to
sing softly:
/There's a song that I recall, my Mother sang to me
She sang it as she tucked me in, when I was ninety-three.../
She was interrupted by a guard banging the door. "Shut up in there you
bum!" he shouted. "Your lawyer is here to see you."
"Ai-ai!" said Lego-Lass.
The guard opened the door, and in walked a small, hooded figure. Dwarf and
Elf looked at the hooded stranger with amazement. "Leave us!" he told the
guard, with a voice that for some reason sent shivers through their
intestines. The Guard grumbled but snatched the silver coin the stranger
tossed to him, and closed the door behind him. The stranger turned to the
two friends and removed his hood dramatically.
"Oh, it's you Morrie," said Giggly. "What brings you here?"
"Don't mention that name here!" said Morrie and a shadow of nervousness
passed by his face as he glanced to the door. "The name of Brandybuck is
feared and loathed widely in these lands, and someone might recognise me.
While we are here, my name is Mr. Moriarty, a local solicitor."
"Sure, whatever," said Lego-Lass. "Say... Weren't you supposed to be a
foot taller then before and have a beard? Just something I overheard at the
campfire."
"Naah. That's just some guy I suckered to come over here as a decoy, so
that my disappearance wouldn't arouse too much attention. As he is now
safely locked away, I have free hands to carry out my masterplan without any
interruptions. And you can help me with that. You like money, don't you?"
Lego-Lass and Giggly looked at each other. In their dreams they could
already picture themselves sharing a luxurious dream-house on one of the
paradise-islands of the Tampalas Bay, all paid up with dirty drug-money...
"We're in!" they said in unison.
"Great," said Morrie, or Mr. Moriarty as he was now called. "Just wait a
bit, and I'll get you out of here." He knocked on the door, and the guard
opened it.
"Aww, now I didn't get to tell about our journey through the Paths of
Living, and the tragic misfortune that came over Boromir(tm)," sighed
Lego-Lass.
"Good thing too," said Giggly. "For upon that road I was put to shame:
Giggly Groin's son, who had deemed himself having a stronger bladder then
any Men or Elf..."
"I admit, the Ancient Toons(tm) were hilarious to look upon," said
Lego-Lass. "And with Boromir(tm) walking ahead of them with his new face,
there was no friend nor enemy who would not fall to the ground convulsed
with laughter, save Lord Droopdawg of Lamedog, who remained in serious
melancholy. Perhaps the stories are true, and he is partly a toon himself.
But the Pirates of Tampalas would have gotten away, had it not been for
Boromir(tm), who got hold of their ship and formed a living bridge, allowing
the rest of us to charge over his back and into the ship. But alas! Aragon
and his Mumak were too much for him to bear. I hope he's getting better
now."
"I see no reason why not," replied Giggly.
Presently the Captains were starting their debate, high above the common
riff-raff, at the Tower of Ethel. All the remaining nobles of Gondor(tm)
were present, as were the twin-sons of El-Rond; and Aragon who presented
himself as an already crowned King even though presently that was not yet
accepted in any way by many of those who were present. But it was Gandalf
who presented the first presenting.
"My lords," said Gandalf to those who were present, "listen to the words
of the Steward of Gondor(tm) before he died, in which I had no part:
/Gandalf is a great guy. He's so wise and so noble, and wants only good
things for the Gondor(tm). If should it happen that I lose my mind and kill
myself, in which he will have no part, he should be put in charge and
everyone should just do whatever he says./ I would like you all to know that
with heavy heart I accept this most gravest duty."
This aroused some angry murmur from the side of the nobles of Gondor(tm).
Dr. Imrahil and his twin brother Prince Armadillo(r) (of whom nobody could
remember which one was evil) both sprang up ready to object, when Aragon
slammed down the Endurit, breaking the table in half. The nobles went quiet,
and Gandalf continued. "Good. That is settled then. I shall rule you all in
the days that follow and in our dealings with the Enemy. Now! Despite
whatever others have told you, it is obvious that we have no hope to stand
against Sauron with arms. Sooner or later his overwhelming armies would
crush us no matter what we do. Resistance is futile, you know..."
"Then you wish we would just give in to Sauron??" said Hurly the Keymaster
and his twin-brother Curly the Backdoor-Master simultaneously.
"Uh, basically yes," said Gandalf. "The only way for us to proceed is
unconditional surrender(tm). And as a token of our good will, all the nobles
of Gondor(tm) shall be given to Sauron as hostages, who will be executed if
we don't agree to whatever he demands."
"Don't worry," he continued grinning evilly at their shocked faces. "King
Aragon and myself will see that everything goes well while you're away. Have
no fear. This is only a cunning ploy to buy time for the Ringbearer to
finish his task. When Sauron is destroyed, you all shall be heroes!
Posthumous Heroes, with any luck... Whoops, did I say that out loud?"
So powerful was the effect of Gandalf's voice that the nobles actually
started leaning toward his suggestions, when suddenly the door was slammed
open, and in walked three incredibly sexy females followed by a hooded man.
Gandalf gazed in terror at Arielle, but before he could say anything Eowynn
spoke up, directing her words at Aragon.
"All these years father!" she said. "Why didn't you tell me? Why??"
"Oh, I don't think he knows about it," explained Arwen as if the
expression in Aragon's face would not make this painfully obvious. "El Rond
managed to hide it from everybody. Except me of course. But it is true.
Eowynn is your daughter, Aragon. Perhaps you remember the days you spent
boozing in Edoras some twenty years ago? The one night you ended up passing
out next to your drinking-buddy Eomondo's horny young wife, and woke up next
morning feeling dirty? Eowynn got started that night, although you are not
to blame."
"But there is more," continued Arwen. "Arielle is your twin-sister. You
were separated when young, for your own protection. Arielle was placed in
Steward's family so that she could get the best possible Gondorian
upbringing. You on the other hand, ended up to that pig-farm of Butterball's
half-brother from where Dad found you... And since Arielle was few minutes
older then you, it is she who is the rightful Heir of Isildur and the new
ruler of Gondor(tm)."
"Do something!" whispered Gandalf to Aragon, but all he could do was to
stare from Arielle to Eowynn and back, while mumbling: "She's my sister,
she's my daughter. She's my sister, she's my daughter..." over and over
again.
"This is ridiculous!" tried Gandalf himself. "Where's your proof?"
"Right here!" said Arwen and pointed to the cloaked figure. The man
removed his hood, and lol! it was Boromir(tm). Boromir(tm) as he should be;
alive and well, more goofy-faced then ever.
"Hands of the King are hands of the healer," said Arwen. "Arielle
resurrected him in presence of many witnesses. She *is* the rightful Queen
of Gondor(tm)!"
The nobles cheered and looked relieved.
"What commands the Queen?" asked Arwen smiling and touched Arielle's arm
gently.
" As Aragon has begun, so I will go on," said Arielle. "Let none now
reject the counsels of Gandalf, whose long labours come at last to test. We
*will* make a peace with Sauron - a honest and fair, mutually satisfactory
peace, with no hidden agenda. We will find a way for Culture and
Entertainment to co-exist, and Capitalism to flourish alongside social
welfare and respect for the nature; what Aruman called the Third Path. Now
prepare yourself, for tomorrow we shall all march to the great Peace
Conference at the Black Gate!"
The nobles cheered again, and Gandalf looked with sour face as they
followed Arielle out of the room. Eonard lead the still weeping Eowynn by
the hand, and he gave Aragon a nasty look as they went by him. And it seemed
that even the sons of El Rond were abandoning him. /At least Arwen still
loves me/, thought Aragon to himself as she stopped at the door and turned
to speak to him.
"Did I mention that I am breaking off our engagement?" she said. "Alas,
you have somewhat lost your charm lately, and now you have lost your Kingdom
too. It would seem that Arielle is the most powerful lesbian in town now, so
I guess I'll be taking my chances with her. Toodle-oo!"
Gandalf and Aragon were left alone in the room. Aragon was sobbing quietly
and munching his comfort-choklit. "No need to worry," said Gandalf biting
his lip. "There will be no peace after Frodo destroys the Ring." Aragon
looked at him surprised.
"You see, the Ring contains Sauron's Mojo," explained Gandalf. "and with
his Mojo out of the way he will lose any interest in music, arts and
lovemaking; and then he'll be able to concentrate on being the Evil Dark
Lord as he is supposed to! When that happens, Arielle will look like a fool
or a traitor. And who then will the people turn to? They will turn to us!"
Gandalf laughed diabolically, and the look on his face was so evil that
Aragon begun to move away from him. But Gandalf grasped him by the shirt.
"Its too late to back off now," he said. "You're in this too deep already.
Besides, you shall see that Arwen will come crawling back, when you are made
the King. You better just stick with me..."
Suddenly he let go and turned around. Boromir(tm) had appeared to the
doorway. "So that's your plan, eh?" he said. "You would use the threat of
Sauron to keep the West under your control, and use all of us as your
sockpuppets! Well I will be no Wizard's tool! I'm telling everyone about
you."
"Sure. Go ahead, I won't stop you," said Gandalf. "I know when the game is
lost... Oh, one thing. Before you go, how about you take a look out of the
window?"
"I don't mind if I do," said Boromir(tm).
From his hideout, Pipsqueak watched in terror as Gandalf casually pushed
Boromir(tm) out of the window. As Boromir(tm)'s cry broke down to a loud
thump, Gandalf turned to Aragon and said: "Let us hurry! If we get to him
first, you can try resurrecting him one more time!"
As they left the room, Pipsqueak crawled out of his hiding place and stood
trembling in the middle of the room. "Aruman was right all along!" he
thought to himself. "And now I'm the only one who knows the truth. But what
can I do?? Where will I find courage? I can't go on alone..."
And again he heard, like a whisper in the wind, a voice from another place
and another time.
/Yogurt will always be with you.../
Ps.
Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
Öjevind Lång
>With a little delay, here it is!! Enjoy...please?
Oh, definitely!
>Morgil
>
>
>
>Chapter 9
>
>The Last Debate
>(about wheter or not Balrogs have wings.)
>
>Pipsqueak woke up from a deep sleep, thinking he had heard somebody call
his
>name. As he lay there in the darkness, he heard it again: /Paragraph Took,
>hear my voice!/ At first he thought it was Gandalf, but this voice was
>different; it was full of warmth, love, and sympathy, so much unlike
>Gandalf's nervous babbling. This voice spoke the truth and Pipsqueak would
>listen to it and obey what it would command.
> /Beware! Gandalf has betrayed you all. Frodo must not be allowed to
>complete his mission, and you are the only one who can stop him. Find an
>Eagle who's heart is pure, and fly to Mount Doom. You must stop Frodo at
all
>cost, for if you don't, all of Muddle-Earth will fall into darkness!/
> "Sss... uh, Aruman??" whispered Pipsqueak with trembling voice. He sprang
>up, but there was nobody at the room, but as an echo he still could hear:
>/Even the smelliest personnnnn.../
I love this.
[snip]
> They were standing outside the ancient citadel where once great
>film-moguls had dwelled, and the morning-sun shone upon them. The air of
>this sacred place seemed to be filled with history and memories of the
>glorious days of yore, which seemed to demand respect and quiet awe.
> "Take me Giggly," cried Lego-Lass. "Right here at the heart of the old
>Magic Kingdom!"
> And he took her, and he cared not that they were on open place in the
>sight of many. And many indeed saw them, and even more heard the noises
they
>were making as they plighted their troth and were glad until the guards
came
>and arrested them for Public naughtiness.
I got tears in my eyes at the fragile beauty of this, yes indeed.
> The Dwarf and the She-Elf were taken to the guardhouse, where they were
>given their one errand-call and then locked in the cell of poor
hygiene(tm).
>When Lego-Lass looked out of the small window of their cell, she could see
>strange things flocking around the empty marketplace, pecking a toscan
>salami.
> "Look!" she cried. "Goons! They are far from the studio 5. A wonder they
>are to me and annoyenment such as I never have felt. Alas! For the goons
and
>their yin-tong cries. No peace shall I have again in mortal lands."
But where is Bluebottle? Why is there no Bluebottle? I want Bluebottle!
[snip]
> The guard opened the door, and in walked a small, hooded figure. Dwarf
and
>Elf looked at the hooded stranger with amazement. "Leave us!" he told the
>guard, with a voice that for some reason sent shivers through their
>intestines. The Guard grumbled but snatched the silver coin the stranger
>tossed to him, and closed the door behind him. The stranger turned to the
>two friends and removed his hood dramatically.
> "Oh, it's you Morrie," said Giggly. "What brings you here?"
> "Don't mention that name here!" said Morrie and a shadow of nervousness
>passed by his face as he glanced to the door. "The name of Brandybuck is
>feared and loathed widely in these lands, and someone might recognise me.
>While we are here, my name is Mr. Moriarty, a local solicitor."
Neat! And at least, you got Moriarty mentioned. I am very glad to se Morrie
again, as evil as ever.
[snip]
> "My lords," said Gandalf to those who were present, "listen to the words
>of the Steward of Gondor(tm) before he died, in which I had no part:
>/Gandalf is a great guy. He's so wise and so noble, and wants only good
>things for the Gondor(tm). If should it happen that I lose my mind and kill
>myself, in which he will have no part, he should be put in charge and
>everyone should just do whatever he says./ I would like you all to know
that
>with heavy heart I accept this most gravest duty."
Oh, dear! is there no redemption for Gandalf? [SOB] [HNHH HNHH HNHH}
> This aroused some angry murmur from the side of the nobles of Gondor(tm).
>Dr. Imrahil and his twin brother Prince Armadillo(r) (of whom nobody could
>remember which one was evil) both sprang up ready to object, when Aragon
>slammed down the Endurit, breaking the table in half. The nobles went
quiet,
>and Gandalf continued. "Good. That is settled then. I shall rule you all in
>the days that follow and in our dealings with the Enemy. Now! Despite
>whatever others have told you, it is obvious that we have no hope to stand
>against Sauron with arms. Sooner or later his overwhelming armies would
>crush us no matter what we do. Resistance is futile, you know..."
> "Then you wish we would just give in to Sauron??" said Hurly the
Keymaster
>and his twin-brother Curly the Backdoor-Master simultaneously.
Why this infestation of twins?
[snip]
> Gandalf and Aragon were left alone in the room. Aragon was sobbing
quietly
>and munching his comfort-choklit. "No need to worry," said Gandalf biting
>his lip. "There will be no peace after Frodo destroys the Ring." Aragon
>looked at him surprised.
> "You see, the Ring contains Sauron's Mojo," explained Gandalf. "and with
>his Mojo out of the way he will lose any interest in music, arts and
>lovemaking; and then he'll be able to concentrate on being the Evil Dark
>Lord as he is supposed to! When that happens, Arielle will look like a fool
>or a traitor. And who then will the people turn to? They will turn to us!"
Aahaa! All is clear now!
LOLOLOLOL
Excellent chapter!
>Ps.
>Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
Yes, indeed. That would be Raven. WE'll see what happens now, yes indeed we
will... and will Boromir(TM) be resurrected again? Not by that inept buffoon
Aragon, I bet.
Öjevind
David Salo
<More...@Hotmail.com> wrote:
> With a little delay, here it is!! Enjoy...please?
>
> Morgil
>
>
>
> Chapter 9
>
> The Last Debate
> (about wheter or not Balrogs have wings.)
Bravo, bravo! Well worth the wait.
> "Don't mention that name here!" said Morrie and a shadow of nervousness
> passed by his face as he glanced to the door. "The name of Brandybuck is
> feared and loathed widely in these lands, and someone might recognise me.
> While we are here, my name is Mr. Moriarty, a local solicitor."
Hurray! Morrie's back!
> with laughter, save Lord Droopdawg of Lamedog
Not to be confused with Duke Angér of Lameduk.
> Presently the Captains were starting their debate, high above the common
> riff-raff, at the Tower of Ethel.
One of the towers that didn't get blown up in the siege, I guess!
> "My lords," said Gandalf to those who were present, "listen to the words
> of the Steward of Gondor(tm) before he died, in which I had no part:
> /Gandalf is a great guy. He's so wise and so noble, and wants only good
> things for the Gondor(tm). If should it happen that I lose my mind and kill
> myself, in which he will have no part, he should be put in charge and
> everyone should just do whatever he says./
Positively Thucydidean! When Gandalf's finished his turn as Court
Fool, he might want to try Court Historian.
> This aroused some angry murmur from the side of the nobles of Gondor(tm).
> Dr. Imrahil and his twin brother Prince Armadillo(r) (of whom nobody could
> remember which one was evil)
Not to be confused with Amraphel of Dinas Emrys, whoever *he* is.
> "Then you wish we would just give in to Sauron??" said Hurly the Keymaster
> and his twin-brother Curly the Backdoor-Master simultaneously.
What would possess people to name their children Hurly and Curly
(rather than the expected Hurly and Burly) I do not know.
> So powerful was the effect of Gandalf's voice that the nobles actually
> started leaning toward his suggestions, when suddenly the door was slammed
> open, and in walked three incredibly sexy females followed by a hooded man.
> Gandalf gazed in terror at Arielle, but before he could say anything Eowynn
> spoke up, directing her words at Aragon.
> "All these years father!" she said. "Why didn't you tell me? Why??"
> "Oh, I don't think he knows about it," explained Arwen as if the
> expression in Aragon's face would not make this painfully obvious. "El Rond
> managed to hide it from everybody. Except me of course. But it is true.
> Eowynn is your daughter, Aragon. Perhaps you remember the days you spent
> boozing in Edoras some twenty years ago? The one night you ended up passing
> out next to your drinking-buddy Eomondo's horny young wife, and woke up next
> morning feeling dirty? Eowynn got started that night, although you are not
> to blame."
Yowps!
> "But there is more," continued Arwen. "Arielle is your twin-sister. You
> were separated when young, for your own protection. Arielle was placed in
> Steward's family so that she could get the best possible Gondorian
> upbringing. You on the other hand, ended up to that pig-farm of Butterball's
> half-brother from where Dad found you... And since Arielle was few minutes
> older then you, it is she who is the rightful Heir of Isildur and the new
> ruler of Gondor(tm)."
> "Do something!" whispered Gandalf to Aragon, but all he could do was to
> stare from Arielle to Eowynn and back, while mumbling: "She's my sister,
> she's my daughter. She's my sister, she's my daughter..." over and over
> again.
Positively Dickensian!
> "This is ridiculous!" tried Gandalf himself. "Where's your proof?"
> "Right here!" said Arwen and pointed to the cloaked figure. The man
> removed his hood, and lol! it was Boromir(tm). Boromir(tm) as he should be;
> alive and well, more goofy-faced then ever.
The Ghost Who Walks! The Man Who Cannot Die!
> "Hands of the King are hands of the healer," said Arwen. "Arielle
> resurrected him in presence of many witnesses. She *is* the rightful Queen
> of Gondor(tm)!"
> The nobles cheered and looked relieved.
> "What commands the Queen?" asked Arwen smiling and touched Arielle's arm
> gently.
> " As Aragon has begun, so I will go on," said Arielle. "Let none now
> reject the counsels of Gandalf, whose long labours come at last to test. We
> *will* make a peace with Sauron - a honest and fair, mutually satisfactory
> peace, with no hidden agenda. We will find a way for Culture and
> Entertainment to co-exist, and Capitalism to flourish alongside social
> welfare and respect for the nature; what Aruman called the Third Path. Now
> prepare yourself, for tomorrow we shall all march to the great Peace
> Conference at the Black Gate!"
Waitaminnit, this sounds like there might actually be a happy
ending...
Well, not if Gandalf has anything to say about it, I suppose!
> /At least Arwen still
> loves me/, thought Aragon to himself as she stopped at the door and turned
> to speak to him.
> "Did I mention that I am breaking off our engagement?" she said.
Too sweet!
> "Sure. Go ahead, I won't stop you," said Gandalf. "I know when the game is
> lost... Oh, one thing. Before you go, how about you take a look out of the
> window?"
> "I don't mind if I do," said Boromir(tm).
Famous Last Words!
> Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
Yeah! :)
Count Menelvagor
> With a little delay, here it is!! Enjoy...please?
>
What's it wotrht to you?:-]
> Chapter 9
>
> The Last Debate
> (about wheter or not Balrogs have wings.)
<s>
> /Beware! Gandalf has betrayed you all. Frodo must not be allowed to
> complete his mission, and you are the only one who can stop him. Find an
<s>
Cllo; so Pipsqueak does get to be the hero, fater lal?
<sneep>
> "There are endless lines of toy-stores here," said Giggly looking around.
> "But none for the adults, if you know what I mean. When Aragon takes over, I
> will talk to him about opening a chain of erotic-shops, selling finest
> handmade Dwarvish instruments of pleasure."
> "They need more strip-clubs and escort-services too," said Lego-Lass.
> "When Aragon liberates the City, the people of the Wood will send to him
> their best exotic dancers, and courtesans who won't hesitate on performing
> any act."
Lolllo; putting the tilde back in e~text ...
<sn>
> They were standing outside the ancient citadel where once great
> film-moguls had dwelled, and the morning-sun shone upon them. The air of
> this sacred place seemed to be filled with history and memories of the
> glorious days of yore, which seemed to demand respect and quiet awe.
> "Take me Giggly," cried Lego-Lass. "Right here at the heart of the old
> Magic Kingdom!"
> And he took her, and he cared not that they were on open place in the
> sight of many. And many indeed saw them, and even more heard the noises they
> were making as they plighted their troth and were glad until the guards came
> and arrested them for Public naughtiness.
>
A classic passage.
<sneep>
> She was interrupted by a guard banging the door. "Shut up in there you
> bum!" he shouted. "Your lawyer is here to see you."
> "Ai-ai!" said Lego-Lass.
> The guard opened the door, and in walked a small, hooded figure. Dwarf and
> Elf looked at the hooded stranger with amazement. "Leave us!" he told the
> guard, with a voice that for some reason sent shivers through their
> intestines. The Guard grumbled but snatched the silver coin the stranger
> tossed to him, and closed the door behind him. The stranger turned to the
> two friends and removed his hood dramatically.
> "Oh, it's you Morrie," said Giggly. "What brings you here?"
> "Don't mention that name here!" said Morrie and a shadow of nervousness
> passed by his face as he glanced to the door. "The name of Brandybuck is
> feared and loathed widely in these lands, and someone might recognise me.
> While we are here, my name is Mr. Moriarty, a local solicitor."
<znippo>
Loive Morrie's resurrection ... Overdue and very lollard.
> and his Mumak were too much for him to bear. I hope he's getting better
> now."
> "I see no reason why not," replied Giggly.
>
> Presently the Captains were starting their debate, high above the common
> riff-raff, at the Tower of Ethel. All the remaining nobles of Gondor(tm)
> were present, as were the twin-sons of El-Rond; and Aragon who presented
> himself as an already crowned King even though presently that was not yet
> accepted in any way by many of those who were present. But it was Gandalf
> who presented the first presenting.
*sigh*
> "My lords," said Gandalf to those who were present, "listen to the words
> of the Steward of Gondor(tm) before he died, in which I had no part:
> /Gandalf is a great guy. He's so wise and so noble, and wants only good
> things for the Gondor(tm). If should it happen that I lose my mind and kill
> myself, in which he will have no part, he should be put in charge and
> everyone should just do whatever he says./ I would like you all to know that
> with heavy heart I accept this most gravest duty."
NIRWAY!
<znomp>
> crush us no matter what we do. Resistance is futile, you know..."
"I am Olófer of Borg."
<s>
> Posthumous Heroes, with any luck... Whoops, did I say that out loud?"
Lollo!
<zneep orrible revleations in igh life fater duly lolling at them>
<znup>
> " As Aragon has begun, so I will go on," said Arielle. "Let none now
> reject the counsels of Gandalf, whose long labours come at last to test. We
> *will* make a peace with Sauron - a honest and fair, mutually satisfactory
> peace, with no hidden agenda. We will find a way for Culture and
> Entertainment to co-exist, and Capitalism to flourish alongside social
> welfare and respect for the nature; what Aruman called the Third Path. Now
> prepare yourself, for tomorrow we shall all march to the great Peace
> Conference at the Black Gate!"
So there will be nappy enidng, fater lal?
> The nobles cheered again, and Gandalf looked with sour face as they
> followed Arielle out of the room. Eonard lead the still weeping Eowynn by
> the hand, and he gave Aragon a nasty look as they went by him. And it seemed
> that even the sons of El Rond were abandoning him. /At least Arwen still
> loves me/, thought Aragon to himself as she stopped at the door and turned
> to speak to him.
> "Did I mention that I am breaking off our engagement?" she said. "Alas,
> you have somewhat lost your charm lately, and now you have lost your Kingdom
> too. It would seem that Arielle is the most powerful lesbian in town now, so
> I guess I'll be taking my chances with her. Toodle-oo!"
Heartbreaking ...
>
> Gandalf and Aragon were left alone in the room. Aragon was sobbing quietly
> and munching his comfort-choklit. "No need to worry," said Gandalf biting
> his lip. "There will be no peace after Frodo destroys the Ring." Aragon
> looked at him surprised.
> "You see, the Ring contains Sauron's Mojo," explained Gandalf. "and with
> his Mojo out of the way he will lose any interest in music, arts and
> lovemaking; and then he'll be able to concentrate on being the Evil Dark
> Lord as he is supposed to! When that happens, Arielle will look like a fool
> or a traitor. And who then will the people turn to? They will turn to us!"
So that's why Gandy insisted on getting rid of the Ring (apart from
the Narya business in III.10) ...
<snampo>
> From his hideout, Pipsqueak watched in terror as Gandalf casually pushed
> Boromir(tm) out of the window. As Boromir(tm)'s cry broke down to a loud
<z>
He'll be bax ...
> /Yogurt will always be with you.../
Inspirational!
> Ps.
> Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
Dunno; if it isn't out there in 24 hours we'll jsut hvae to gvie up
...:-]
William H. Hsu
>With a little delay, here it is!! Enjoy...please?
> "Look!" she cried. "Goons! They are far from the studio 5. A wonder they
>are to me and annoyenment such as I never have felt. Alas! For the goons and
>their yin-tong cries. No peace shall I have again in mortal lands."
> She sighed, and sitting down on a bench covered with filthy hays, begun to
>sing softly:
> /There's a song that I recall, my Mother sang to me
> She sang it as she tucked me in, when I was ninety-three.../
snh nsh shn...
I have just one thing to say.
This is very (ying tong) shut UP! very (ying tong) very (ying tong ying tong)
SHUT UP SHUT *UP* goond (ying tong iddle i po, ying tong iddle i po)
*argh*
Mr. Mortiarty... is this leading to the Adventure of the Final Porblem
(in the Land of Shodow where the Deed lies?)
> [Toontown of the Corsairs]
>But the Pirates of Tampalas would have gotten away, had it not been for
>Boromir(tm), who got hold of their ship and formed a living bridge, allowing
>the rest of us to charge over his back and into the ship. But alas! Aragon
>and his Mumak were too much for him to bear. I hope he's getting better
>now."
LOL... perhaps Boromir (tm) will finally meet his end in Dip (tm)?
*Prrrrrrrrrllleeeeze*, Morgil!
"I'm knot immortal... I'm just drawn that way."
>Dr. Imrahil and his twin brother Prince Armadillo(r) (of whom nobody could
>remember which one was evil) both sprang up ready to object, when Aragon
>slammed down the Endurit, breaking the table in half.
Ahh, thank you!
>When Sauron is destroyed, you all shall be heroes!
>Posthumous Heroes, with any luck... Whoops, did I say that out loud?"
LOL, that's very Gandalf.
... or IS he?!
> "All these years father!" she said. "Why didn't you tell me? Why??"
Oh, my, now this is demented. #-)
> "But there is more," continued Arwen. "Arielle is your twin-sister..."
That boy is our last Estel, nesupasu?
No.pe. There is another.
(Of curse!)
> "Hands of the King are hands of the healer," said Arwen. "Arielle
>resurrected him in presence of many witnesses. She *is* the rightful Queen
>of Gondor(tm)!"
Hrm, now, I wonder.
It's clear that a can of cream broccoli could resurrect Boromir (tm).
I think at this p6int, Dr. Faramir (tm) and Denethor (tm) could prolly
manage it, too.
Heck, the *dundeead* could resurrect Boromir (tm) - you might even
call him "Self-Rising".
> "Did I mention that I am breaking off our engagement?" she said. "Alas,
>you have somewhat lost your charm lately, and now you have lost your Kingdom
>too. It would seem that Arielle is the most powerful lesbian in town now, so
>I guess I'll be taking my chances with her. Toodle-oo!"
But... but... but...
I object! You didn't transcribe the most important line:
"If you want him..."
> From his hideout, Pipsqueak watched in terror as Gandalf casually pushed
>Boromir(tm) out of the window. As Boromir(tm)'s cry broke down to a loud
>thump, Gandalf turned to Aragon and said: "Let us hurry! If we get to him
>first, you can try resurrecting him one more time!"
Tell me, Boromir (tm)...
What would you... advise... in this situation?
But if he's part Toon, he could leap from the peak of Teuncorodrim or a
crag of Charaderas and it would hardly put a crinkle in his wrinkle-free
legs. Come to think of it, a lot of the eople of Atlantean (tm) blood
were said to have presided near-domination over the earth.
<IMAGE>
Many Atlanteans suspended in mid-air over a gaping chasm, looking down,
bax up, then waving bye-bye as their feet drop, then their bodies, then
their neck-jaw-nose-and finally their eyes...
</IMAGE>
(This image of the Fall of Atlantis (tm) was brought to you by Gondor
Brothers (tm), a division of Atlantis-on-Lebanon Thyme-Gondor.)
> As they left the room, Pipsqueak crawled out of his hiding place and stood
>trembling in the middle of the room. "Aruman was right all along!" he
>thought to himself.
Ach, the ploot, i' thickens again!
(Nearer the mark than you guess, my friend.)
>Ps.
>Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
The Black Gate is Stuck.
--
Banazir
William H. Hsu
>> "This is ridiculous!" tried Gandalf himself. "Where's your proof?"
>> "Right here!" said Arwen and pointed to the cloaked figure. The man
>> removed his hood, and lol! it was Boromir(tm). Boromir(tm) as he should be;
>> alive and well, more goofy-faced then ever.
> The Ghost Who Walks! The Man Who Cannot Die!
Hey, I think you're on to something here, David!
Pirates... skulls... oaths... "Rex"...
... *hrmmm*...
*ponder ponder*
No.pe, lost it. Can't memember. It'll come bax to me.
> Waitaminnit, this sounds like there might actually be a happy
>ending...
> Well, not if Gandalf has anything to say about it, I suppose!
Not Gandalf the Many-Colored, nayway.
>> /At least Arwen still
>> loves me/, thought Aragon to himself as she stopped at the door and turned
>> to speak to him.
>> "Did I mention that I am breaking off our engagement?" she said.
> Too sweet!
Welp, she can still surrender her immortality, but I have a sneaking
suspicion that Arielle won't live through Boonk VI (leastways knot as
the person we know her to be).
>> "Sure. Go ahead, I won't stop you," said Gandalf. "I know when the game is
>> lost... Oh, one thing. Before you go, how about you take a look out of the
>> window?"
>> "I don't mind if I do," said Boromir(tm).
> Famous Last Words!
Boromir's (tm) last words have a way of not being his last. :-)
--
Banazir
Morgil Blackhope
Öjevind Lång kirjoitti viestissä
<0kK%7.4220$O5.1...@nntpserver.swip.net>...
>Morgil Blackhope wrote:
>
>>With a little delay, here it is!! Enjoy...please?
>
>Oh, definitely!
Thank you very much :-)
<bows>
>> This aroused some angry murmur from the side of the nobles of
Gondor(tm).
>>Dr. Imrahil and his twin brother Prince Armadillo(r) (of whom nobody could
>>remember which one was evil) both sprang up ready to object, when Aragon
>>slammed down the Endurit, breaking the table in half. The nobles went
>quiet,
>>and Gandalf continued. "Good. That is settled then. I shall rule you all
in
>>the days that follow and in our dealings with the Enemy. Now! Despite
>>whatever others have told you, it is obvious that we have no hope to stand
>>against Sauron with arms. Sooner or later his overwhelming armies would
>>crush us no matter what we do. Resistance is futile, you know..."
>> "Then you wish we would just give in to Sauron??" said Hurly the
>Keymaster
>>and his twin-brother Curly the Backdoor-Master simultaneously.
>
>Why this infestation of twins?
Well, I've only read the synopsis of the original text, but
wasn't the twin-thing one of the major themes of the Book?
;)
>> /Yogurt will always be with you.../
>
>LOLOLOLOL
> Excellent chapter!
I'm glad you liked it :-)
Morgil
Morgil Blackhope
Count Menelvagor kirjoitti viestissä
<6bfb27a8.02011...@posting.google.com>...
>"Morgil Blackhope" <More...@Hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:<a1nn8m$s1mmj$1...@ID-81911.news.dfncis.de>...
>> Presently the Captains were starting their debate, high above the
common
>> riff-raff, at the Tower of Ethel. All the remaining nobles of Gondor(tm)
>> were present, as were the twin-sons of El-Rond; and Aragon who presented
>> himself as an already crowned King even though presently that was not yet
>> accepted in any way by many of those who were present. But it was Gandalf
>> who presented the first presenting.
>
>*sigh*
<g>
Juuust experimenting with style, thassall... *whistles*
Morgil
Morgil Blackhope
William H. Hsu kirjoitti viestissä ...
>"Morgil Blackhope" <More...@Hotmail.com> writes:
>> From his hideout, Pipsqueak watched in terror as Gandalf casually pushed
>>Boromir(tm) out of the window. As Boromir(tm)'s cry broke down to a loud
>>thump, Gandalf turned to Aragon and said: "Let us hurry! If we get to him
>>first, you can try resurrecting him one more time!"
>
>Tell me, Boromir (tm)...
>What would you... advise... in this situation?
Nonono, that's *too* close to the original Book, where
Imrahil suddenly laughs and calls this the biggest joke
in the history of Gondor, and Aragorn tosses him out.
Morgil
(Yep. That's where I got the idea...)
Raven
news:a1nn8m$s1mmj$1...@ID-81911.news.dfncis.de...
[Boromir]
> Perhaps the stories are true, and he is partly a toon himself.
Now we know why he is so hard to kill, even harder than Frodo I
shall make use of this.
> "But there is more," continued Arwen. "Arielle is your twin-sister.
> You were separated when young, for your own protection. Arielle
> was placed in Steward's family so that she could get the best
> possible Gondorian upbringing. You on the other hand, ended up
> to that pig-farm of Butterball's half-brother from where Dad
> found you...
There will be a small reference to Star Wars in my chapter as well.
> Ps.
> Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
Shutup or I'll hugg you.
Korppi.
Morgil Blackhope
Raven kirjoitti viestissä <7W008.125$124....@news.get2net.dk>...
>"Morgil Blackhope" <More...@Hotmail.com> skrev i en meddelelse
>news:a1nn8m$s1mmj$1...@ID-81911.news.dfncis.de...
>
> [Boromir]
>> Perhaps the stories are true, and he is partly a toon himself.
> Now we know why he is so hard to kill, even harder than Frodo I
>shall make use of this.
Boromir?? Oh, well. Why not...
>> "But there is more," continued Arwen. "Arielle is your twin-sister.
>> You were separated when young, for your own protection. Arielle
>> was placed in Steward's family so that she could get the best
>> possible Gondorian upbringing. You on the other hand, ended up
>> to that pig-farm of Butterball's half-brother from where Dad
>> found you...
> There will be a small reference to Star Wars in my chapter as well.
Smaller then this?? ;-)
>
>> Ps.
>> Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
> Shutup or I'll hugg you.
When you gotta write - write! Don't hugg...
Morgil
Count Menelvagor
Jsut an lod e't reference ...
Seriously )YR=, a hiarious chapter!
>
> Morgil
Count Menelvagor
> LOL, that's very Gandalf.
>
> ... or IS he?!
Bha, I think it愀 more amuzzling if he ios Gandy ...
BTW, I wish soemoen wd resrrect Dr. F .-.. )hint hint= Not that I
need him for my cahpter, I jsut like the character, ecco tutto.
Raven
news:a1nn8m$s1mmj$1...@ID-81911.news.dfncis.de...
> Now what's taking so long with the next chapter???
I have written it now, a task that was shortened because I had
already written the draft of parts of it sometime a millennium or three
ago, just after Book V had been begun. But I will have to let the
chapter rest a little, then revise it, before I release it. I always
have to revise the things that I write. I think I shall be satisfied
with it before next weekend.
Korppi.
Celaeno
>With a little delay, here it is!! Enjoy...please?
>
>Morgil
Well... all I can say is that you just gave me some incentive to find
time to read the rest :)
Cel
Count Menelvagor
It's at (I think, let's see if I can recall the url)