[2/2] MiSTed: Tails' Lover
Mongoose
CROW: Mike seemed a bit... giddy. I wonder what he ran off to get.
TOM: A crowbar?
CROW: I doubt it. I think Pearl has successfully proven that it takes
more than this to drive Mike to such hysteria.
[ Mike comes jogging in with a clipboard in hand. ]
MIKE: Hey, guys! Check this out! I managed to dig up a little quiz on
measuring the intensity of bad fanfics! Wanna give it a shot?
Just might get your spirits up!
BOTS: [sigh]
TOM: Sure, Mike. Do your thing.
MIKE: Okay! First, "Is there a godlike character in the story that is
representative of the author?"
CROW: Negative.
MIKE: "Are there any characters with the name 'Boometia'?"
TOM: Nope.
CROW: Hey, two in a row!
MIKE: "Does the story involve hermaphroditic bestiality?"
CROW: You're right, Mike! Things *don't* seem all that bad.
TOM: Yeah, keep going! We're on a roll!
MIKE: "Does the story contain suggestions of sexual situations with
characters well below the age of consent?"
BOTS: [slight pause] Erm...
TOM: But... still! We managed to get by most of them!
MIKE: Exactly. Let's count our blessings. We've seen far worse in
our time.
CROW: Except that the fic is only half over so far...
[ The Movie Sign alarms go off. ]
MIKE: Had to remind us, didn't you, Crow?
CROW: Sorry. I'm not used to thinking positive.
[ 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... ]
[ Everyone sits down in the theater. ]
>
>~~
>
>Knuckles
TOM: At least having left the theater helped alleviate the nausea
from another brain-switch.
>
>
>I was just thinking of what to say to Sal and Son,
MIKE: Hey, since when does Princess Sally have a son?
> when Tails broke
>my
CROW: Neck.
MIKE: [stares at Crow nervously]
CROW: It was a mercy killing.
> thoughts.
>
>"Knuckles?"
>
>"Yea Tails?" He sounds so afraid.
CROW: [Tails] I'm scared. Hold me.
MIKE: Y'know, Crow, I'm beginning to think that you actually *like*
the idea of a Tails/Knuckles relationship.
CROW: I *do* not!
MIKE: It's so cute to watch you in denial.
>
>"If things go ugly, could I stay with you?"
MIKE: Hey, not only are we switching minds, we're getting deja vu!
TOM: Does this mean that we get to hear Crow deny how much he wants
to see Tails and Knuckles together again?
CROW: I do *not* want to see Tails and Knuckles together!
MIKE: Hey Tom, you were right!
>
>I froze, I turn to meet Tails eyes.
TOM: Hey, you're getting fan service, Crow!
CROW: I hate you.
> Man he's serious! I never
>thought of that.
MIKE: [Knuckles] But now that Crow had mentioned it, Tails *was* kinda
cute, and he always did have that 'special something' about him...
CROW: AARRRRRRRGGH!!!
>
>"Well er...sure Tails." I stammer.
TOM: [Knuckles] Let's work out the rent, shall we? First of all, how
much money do you make doing... wait a minute! You're only 10!
You don't even *have* a job! I cast thee OUT!
> "But lets see how it goes first,
>ok?"
>
>He nodded, as I sighed with relief.
MIKE: R-O-L-A-I-D-S.
>
>I push the last of greenery, to see the two other Mobians still
>yelling for Tails, of course their backs were facing us.
TOM: Well, that was a nice long string of unconnected thought and
action...
MIKE: For a while, I thought we had been avoiding it...
>
>"Hey you two!"
MIKE: [Knuckles] Wait. I *don't* want to be drawing their attention.
D'oh!
> I said, brightly, but I couldn't help but feel
>worried for Tails.
TOM: [Knuckles] His being in the fanfic must be bad for his young,
impressionable preteen mind.
>
>"Knuckles!!" Sally smiled and ran to me.
>
>"Hey Red!" Sonic turn and smirked.
TOM: Uh-oh. Have we run into a Final Fantasy VII crossover?
MIKE: No. I'm not sure that this fic can hold that many levels of
wrong.
>
>"Well hello to you to Princess!" I hugged her.
MIKE: Okay, Crow, to prove that I'm sorry about all the teasing, I
won't make the obvious joke about Knuckles hugging somebody
other than Tails. Can we be friends again.
CROW: [sharply] Just know that the two of you are on thin ice.
>
>"Knuckles can you help us?" Sally asked me,
TOM: [Sally] You're my only hope...
CROW: I thought that Mike had the monopoly on Star Wars jokes in this
fic.
TOM: Only for bad ones.
MIKE: I think that's relative, Tom.
> her blue eyes glossy, on
>the verge of tears.
CROW: Would it be too nitpicky of me to mention that Sally has *brown*
eyes?
TOM: She does not! She has blue eyes!
CROW: Heheh. Gotcha, Fanboy.
TOM: AARRRGH!
>
>"Of course Sally! What is it?" I asked, knowing all to well what she
>was going to ask.
TOM: [Sally] Years ago, you helped my father during the Clone Wars.
Now, he begs...
CROW: Tom! We've established that that joke isn't funny!
MIKE: I hate to agree with Crow, but... I agree with Crow.
>
>"We can't find Tails! Can you please help us?" She asked, hugging me
>tighter.
MIKE: Now I think this is turning into a Knuckles/Sally romance.
TOM: Maybe the author got their Japanese language terms mixed up.
CROW: [dryly] Gee, now what would be the odds of *that*?
>
>"Sure I can."
TOM: Knuckles! You TRAITOR!
> I looked over to where Tails was hiding, but the way
>he looked, that made me even more worried.
CROW: Knuckles is just getting increasingly more and more worried. I
think that's a bad sign.
TOM: Maybe he's getting cold feet.
>
>"You know what?" I asked coolly.
CROW: [Knuckles] Did you know how 'sooo cool' I am?
MIKE: Only in Tails' "mind-narration."
>
>"What?" Sally asked, not letting me going.
CROW: [Knuckles] Could you please let me go? You're pushing my ribs
into my lungs.
MIKE: Ugh.
>
>"I had a feeling you would asked that, Tails is at the waterfall."
TOM: He needs to show the Letter to the Old Woman so he can buy
medicine.
CROW: I hope that's not too obscure.
> I
>lied.
MIKE: [singing] It's hard to live with a lie...
CROW: Never mind. That's even *more* obscure.
>
>"Really?" Sally asked rubbing her eyes.
>
>"Yep."
TOM: [Sally] Promise?
CROW: [Knuckles] Yep.
TOM: [Sally] Cross-your-heart, hope-to-die?
CROW: [Knuckles] Yep.
TOM: [Sally] ...with a cherry on top?
CROW: [Knuckles] Nah, I'm lying. He's right here.
>
>"Come on Sonic!" She yelled, pushing away from me, running towards
>the falls, Sonic nodded and followed.
CROW: It baffles me how so little can go on in one paragraph, yet so
much can go on in a single sentence.
MIKE: Let's not spoil the mystery, Crow.
>
>*I wasn't born yesterday Princess.* I knew Sally was just playing
>with me but still Tails...
TOM: Um... I thought Knuckles way playing with *her*.
MIKE: I think it's reverse-reverse psychology or something.
TOM: Uh... right.
>
>"Why did you do it?"
MIKE: [Knuckles] I didn't do it! It was the one-armed man!
CROW: You just can't get your fill of movie references today, can you?
>
>"I don't know Tails." I sighed then turn towards the cub.
>
>"Knuckles there something I got to tell you.."
CROW: Here it comes, guys.
>
>"What?" I asked, noticing he was closing the gap between us.
CROW: Waaait for it...
>
>"I don't know how to say this..but..Thank you for everything
>Knuckles, I mean it."
MIKE: Crow, don't get too excited now, OK?
CROW: C'mon, we're actually going to hit the *plot!* What's NOT to be
excited about.
>
>"Well sure no problem." I said. "But why was that so hard to say?" I
>was puzzled.
CROW: Three little words, Tails. You can do it.
> "That's not it..."
>
>"Then what?"
MIKE: I may have just been joking before, but now I really *do* think
that Crow is getting into this fic.
CROW: Shhh! It's about to happen.
>
>"Knuckles can I trust you?"
TOM: [Knuckles] Um... not really.
>
>"Sure Tails." If I was worried then I'm panicking now.
MIKE: And so is Crow.
>
>"I'm in love..with...
CROW: Here it is! The culmination!
> Sonic."
ALL: *WHAT?*
>
>Ok so I've heard a lot of things, but this? No, never have.
CROW: *NEITHER HAVE I!*
>
>"Tails you do realize what your saying, don't you?"
MIKE: [Knuckles] I mean, this is going against everything that's been
in the fic so far...
>
>He nodded. "Yes I do, but I need you help Knuckles."
CROW: [Tails] Help me get out of this fanfic before I say something
*else* that I regret!
>
>"Mine?!"
>
>"Please? I need to tell him." He begged, giving me those puppy eyes.
TOM: OK, so first Tails is a bear, and now he's a puppy. What gives?
MIKE: It's an expression, Tom. Let it go.
>
>"Alright, what do you want me to do?"
CROW: I want you to take back what you said!
MIKE: Crow, get over it! Tails is capable of making his own choices.
Now I'm sorry if you think he should be with Knuckles, but...
CROW: It's not that! It's just that... well...
MIKE: It's just *what*?
CROW: If it's true that this really is a Tails/Sonic fic, then that means
that the author managed to actually *dupe* me into thinking
something about the plot, only to sideline me with a plot twist!
MIKE: [short pause]
TOM: My God... is the author *capable* of such a literary technique?
MIKE: It sure looks like it.
CROW: See?
MIKE: You're right. We're dealing with something more powerful than
we thought...
>
>~~~
>
>
>"Sal he tricked us!" Sonic yelled angrily, stomping his foot.
TOM: Hmmm... who did we just switch into?
CROW: I think it's Sally.
>
>"Blast!
TOM: My, my. Such harsh language.
> I thought it would of work!" Sally sat down on the ground.
CROW: OK, so it's *not* Sally.
MIKE: Tails?
TOM: Maybe. Let's see.
>
>"Well if you would stop toying with me Sal,
TOM: ...so that this can go back to being a shounen-ai fic.
MIKE: Now *you're* sounding like Crow.
CROW: Shut up.
> I might tell you where
>Tails really is." I said, walking out of some bushes.
TOM: Oh, OK. So we're still inside of Knuckles.
MIKE: Did someone mention "Being John Malkovich?"
>
>"You dirty little sneak!" Sonic growled.
CROW: Wow. Sonic and Sally are just a bunch o' foul-mouthed critters
today, ain't they?
>
>"Plea-ze!" I waved my hand at Blue's remarked.
MIKE: [Knuckles] Feh.
>
>The two turn and glare at me.
>
>"Sense I'm in a good mood, I'll tell you, but only
TOM: [Knuckles] ...if you answer me these questions three.
> Sonic can go to
>him." I stated, glaring at Sally, who's eyes widen.
CROW: Lotta glaring going on.
MIKE: [nodding] Mmm.
>
>"You leave Sal out of this!" Sonic snarled.
TOM: [Sonic] Rar.
MIKE: Them hedgehogs got once fierce snarl, I say.
>
>"Well, last I looked it was HER that was tricking me into telling
>you where Tails was,
CROW: And the author tricking me into thinking that this was a
Tails/Knuckles story.
TOM: Crow isn't going to get over this one easily.
MIKE: No.
> when all she had to do was ask."
TOM: [Knuckles] I mean, were you raised in a barn, Sally? Where the
heck are your manners?
>
>"Your right Knuckles... I'm sorry." Sally sighed, looking at the
>ground.
CROW: This fic is just chock-full of happy, upbeat characters.
>
>I smiled, then looked over at Sonic. "He's at the Chaos Chamber."
TOM: [Knuckles] But I'm pretty sure that he still hasn't finished
typing that paper for you, so you might want to wait.
> I
>nodded, towards Blue, who just smirked and ran off.
>
>"Now Sally we need to talk." I started.
CROW: Never mind. I guess this is really just a Knuckles/Sally fic.
MIKE: Do we have enough of those yet?
TOM: Please, let's not set a quota, OK?
>
>
>~~~Tails
MIKE: OK, get ready to cue the "After-School Special" music. I think
we're about to have a 'moment.'
>
>
>Where is he?! Doesn't he know this isn't going anywhere till he gets
>here?!
CROW: [Tails] I just wanna hurry up so this fic will be *over* already.
> I sighed, sitting on the cold bare floor of the Chaos
>Chamber, the Master Emerald giving off a soft green glow.
TOM: It's slow, pulsing bursts of radiation causing the occasional,
and only slightly undesirable genetic mutation...
CROW: Hey, he already has two tails. How much else can happen?
> *What's
>Sonic going to do?* "He'll probably kill me..." I mutter.
MIKE: Just then, Sonic entered the Chaos Chamber, hockey mask firmly in
place over his hideously grinning face...
> No, that's
>not Sonic, he'll still be my friend no matter what! Yeah!
TOM: [Tails] Well, unless, y'know, I decided to tell him I loved him.
Then he'd pro'lly be kinda freaked out.
>
>"Tails!! Thank the chili dogs your ok!"
CROW: Wow. *That* sure heightened the dramatic tension.
TOM: At least he didn't say, "Do you know how phrackin' worried I've
been about you?"
CROW: Touche.
>
>Ok...maybe not.
MIKE: OK... music needs to kick in riiiight...
>
>"Tails? Tails what's wrong?"
MIKE: HERE!
>
>"Sonic...sit down."
CROW: Uh-oh, sounds like Sonic is about to get grounded.
TOM: [Tails] Now, you're mother and I have been talking about the
grades you've been bringing home lately...
>
>"Sure Li'bro, now what's up?" He sat down next to me, giving me his
>all famous smile.
TOM: Sonic -- used car salesman at large.
> I would of melted right there, but I remember
>seeing him giving those special smiles to Aunt Sally and that
>snapped me back into reality, as much as I hated it.
MIKE: This is where Tails breaks down and starts to live in his own
fantasy world...
CROW: Does Knuckles still get to be 'soooo cool?'
>
>"Sonic...I need to tell you something..." I stammer. Dang this not
>going to be easy!
TOM: [Tails] I... I... *I never finished your research paper!*
>
>"Uh..ok Big guy..."
>
>Why does he have to act stupid now?!
CROW: Think about where you are, kid.
> Sheesh...some hedgehogs.
TOM: Hey Mike. Do foxes eat hedgehogs?
MIKE: I'm not sure. They might.
TOM: Think we can see that here?
MIKE: Doubtful.
>
>"Ok I'm just going to say it....SonicIloveyou."
ALL: [applaud]
TOM: Bravo, Tails!
CROW: We all knew you had it in ya!
MIKE: Tails makes confessing your love to someone look so easy. I'm
almost jealous...
BOTS: [snicker]
MIKE: Cut that out.
> I said quickly, half
>hoping he heard it, while the other half hope not, but I just said
>this to the fastest alive on Mobius, surely he heard me.
CROW: I half *think* I got that sentence, and half *know* that I didn't.
>
>"Um I know you trying to tell something important Tails, but could
>you say it again?"
MIKE: [Sonic] Seeing as I'm brutally obtuse, and all...
>
>Argh!!! This hedgehog!! I just I better do something. Ok Tails
>breath, just breath...
TOM: [Prodigy] Breathe with me!
>
>"Tails? Tails are you ok?" He's giving me a worried look... oh Sonic
>why this have to happen to me?
CROW: [Tails] I was supposed to fall in love with Knuckles!
MIKE: It's a lost cause, Crow. Please. Come back to us.
>
>"TAILS!!! Mobius to Tails!" Sonic was waving his hand over my eyes,
>well better do this quick.
TOM: [Tails] The red wire or the blue wire.... ohhhhh, why did I have
to get called in before I had my coffee?!
> As soon as he stop waving his hand, I
>muster all my courage, reach over and gave him a quick kiss on the
>lips then I pulled away.
MIKE: If this were a different fic, that scene might have been kinda, I
dunno... cute.
TOM: Trying writing for yourself, Mike.
CROW: Yeah, I might like to see that.
>
>
>~~~Sonic
>
>OKKKkkkkkk Tails,
CROW: Something tells me that the author extended the wrong letter
there.
TOM: I dunno, try pronouncing like it's written. It's fun.
> my li'bro, Big guy...just KISS me!!! What is going
>on?!!
TOM: Is Sonic trying to figure out what's going on, or is he making a
request?
MIKE: I think his mood depends upon what tense he's in.
BOTS: Ohh.
> Did Knuckles do something to him?!!
MIKE: Great. Sonic subscribes to the theory that people are
'recruited' into being gay.
CROW: Really, Sonic... in *this* day and age? For shame.
>
>"...S...sonic..?" Oh man! He looks scared... Tails please don't cry,
>PLEASE!!
CROW: How much you wanna bet that Tails cries?
MIKE: I think it's pretty much assured at this point.
>
>"Y..y..Yeah Tails?" I stammer, sure I'm scared but I've got to act
>brave for his sake.
MIKE: [Sonic] *I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away!*
>
>"Look about.. the kiss, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
TOM: [Tails] ...bite your tongue off. Natural instinct, s'all. You
understand, right pal?
> fall in L-"
>
>"Whoa Tails! Easy on the L- word. That's a very powerful word if you
>know what I mean!"
CROW: Tails has mastered the Weirding Way!
TOM: [Tails] My name is a killing word.
> I interrupted him.
>
>"Sonic... I really mean it though!"
TOM: [Tails] Sure, I'm only 10 years old, but in fox-years, that's
*gotta* be at least, like, 70 or something!
> He yelled, tears fall from his
>childish face.
MIKE: People need to stop making Tails cry. It's depressing.
>
>"Tails...I know you think your in um.. Love with me but you just a
>kid you got to understand that, your still growing!"
MIKE: Wow. This is getting even *more* like an after-school special.
> I stated, then
>blink. Where did THAT come from? I must be hanging around Sal WAY to
>long.
CROW: [Sally] You have learned well, Grasshopper.
>
>"Oh gee Sonic I'm more adult than you will ever be!" He snarled.
TOM: Ooh... feisty!
MIKE: Eh, I'll let that slide this time.
>
>"TAILS???!!!" I was surprise at his remark.
CROW: [Sonic] I'm being snarled at by someone higher up on the food
chain that me... this is *not* good...!
>
>"What!? Last I looked you not my father, the only here that teats me
>with respect is Knuckles!!
ALL: [snicker]
TOM: The mental image of Knuckles doing anything involving his 'teats'
is just...
MIKE: When typos turn bizarrely perverse...
> Maybe I should just stay here with him,
CROW: [Tails] Then the plot will have made sense!
>sense everyone else thinks I'm a kid!!"
>
>"..Tails.." I said weakly as he walk away.
TOM: Wow. Sonic just got *dissed.*
MIKE: By a 10-year-old fox who's in love with him...
CROW: He's hit rock-bottom.
> Is that how you feel
>Tails....that I'm a jerk...
CROW: [Tails] Um... basically.
> someone that hurts you? I never thought
>this would happen never....Tails... are you happy now? I'm crying..
TOM: Damn. This is just one big sob-fest, isn't it?
>I don't need to feel that I'm crying, for where I'm crying can't not
>be see, I'm crying in my heart...
ALL: [applaud]
CROW: [dryly] Such drama. Such pathos.
MIKE: Consider my heartstrings tugged, folks.
>
>
>~~~Tails
>
>I don't understand it!! He was suppose to be my best friend!!!
MIKE: Does that somehow connote romantic obligation?
> If he
>didn't feel the same way why didn't he just said 'Tails I'm sorry,
TOM: [Sonic] I'm just not 'that way.'
CROW: [Sonic] ...not that there's anything *wrong* with that.
>but I'm in love with a stuck-up Princess.' Ok so that wasn't what
>Sonic would say but..hey I'm ticked off, so that gives me every
>right to hate _her_.
CROW: Um... isn't Sally Tails' mother figure?
TOM: And he's experiencing romantically-induced jealousy?
MIKE: Oedipus Complex. All the way.
>
>"TAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
MIKE: [covering ears] Hey, quiet down!
>
>I froze, "No..it couldn't be..." I turn to see him... man why did I
>have to be this way?!
TOM: It's all about fanfic characterizations. Hope you understand.
> The way he stands, walks, look, talks, there
>really isn't a word to describe him,
MIKE: "Fast?"
TOM: "Pointy?"
CROW: "Sooo cool?"
> but threw it all I still can't
>help but love him.
CROW: [Tails] Poor grammar, tense changes, spelling... none of that
matters when it comes to true love!
>
>"Tails..." I'm really thinking of change my name...real soon.
TOM: [Tails] D'ya think "Muffin" has a nice ring to it?
>
>"What do you want?!" I glared,
MIKE: Hey, I've heard about letting your eyes do the talking, but this
is a bit much, y'think?
> I don't really mean to say that so
>angrily but I could not help it.
TOM: I think Tails has been in one fic too many... he looks ready to
snap at any moment now...
>
>"Tails...I'm sorry...really I am.." He looks so sad, defenseless,
>and venerable.
MIKE: If that's *not* a typo, it certainly paints a very odd image.
CROW: "Sonic's piteous eyes betrayed his otherwise regal bearing..."
> I would give anything to hug him like Sally
>does...just once.
TOM: I think Tails has been peeking through windows after hours...
>
>"What that suppose to mean Sonic?" I asked, manage to keep my voice
>from slipping.
MIKE: What with puberty about to hit, and all...
>
>"I...I...Tails..." He whisper, falling to his knees.
TOM: No! We've come this far! Don't let this turn into a lemon *now!*
MIKE: Be strong. It's almost over.
>
>"Sonic?" I asked. What is he doing?
>
>"Tails for what I did, I don't deserve anybody...no one.." He cried.
CROW: Don't fall for it, Tails -- he's laughing on the inside.
>
>I don't believe what I'm seeing! Sonic's crying??!!
>
>"Sonic...I I.."
TOM: [Tails] I'm sorry about the research paper thing. I just got
distracted by Knuckles' overexuding coolness. Can ya forgive me?
>
>"Will you love me, Tails?"
CROW: Oh damn. Not this.
>
>WHAT!!!??? Ok first he calls me a kid and tells me I don't
>understand love, and now this? Ho--boy..
TOM: Yeah. Damn hypocrite. Sheesh. Some hedgehogs...
>
>"Sonic...I I...man...
CROW: [Tails] Aw, heck -- Come on, Sonic! We need to get busy!
> Sonic you love Sally remember?"
MIKE: [Sonic] Sally? Whozat?
> I swallowed
>the lump in my throat. It hurt, it really hurt to say that... but
>its true... Sally loves Sonic and Sonic loves her... not me.
CROW: There's always Knuckles, Tails.
MIKE: That would just drag the fic out more.
>
>He shakes his head.
>
>"I don't love her."
MIKE: [Sally] Yes you *do.*
TOM: [Sonic] Eep! Yes'm!
>
>Ok now I really wish Knuckles was here... he could knock some sense
>into this blue pincushion.
BOTS: Fight! Fight!
>
>"Please Tails...I need to know."
MIKE: [Sonic] Do these shoes make me look fat?
>
>I sighed, my heart beating ten times faster than it was before.
CROW: Tragically, no amount of preventative care was able to stop
Tails' fatal heart attack...
> Ok
>just breath...he's just confuse that's all. Kiss him and he'll be
>running to Sally faster than you could say Chili dogs.
TOM: Excuses, excuses... just kiss him already!
MIKE: Are you getting into this or something?
TOM: No, I just want things to run their course so it'll end.
CROW: Riiight... Fanboy.
>
>So I did, but he deepen the kiss, causing me to stumble, to only
>feel his arms around me. Sonic...is this really happening? Or are
>you playing with my heart?
CROW: I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel right now.
TOM: Queasy?
CROW: Not quite.
MIKE: Naughty?
CROW: Er... less strong than that.
MIKE, TOM: Wrong?
CROW: That might be it.
>
>
>~~~Knuckles
>
>"So?" I asked, my arms around her.
TOM: [Knuckles] Was it good for you?
>
>"That's, amazing I never would have thought Tails...." She started.
CROW: [Sally] I mean, there was the playing with dolls, and the wearing
my underwear, but still...
MIKE: OK, *that* was uncalled for.
CROW: C'mon, can't you picture it?
MIKE: No. And I don't want to.
>
>"Well you want to know something more amazing than that?" I asked
>brushing her hair back.
TOM: [Sally] Um... you're ambidextrous?
>
>"What?" She whisper.
>
>"I'm in love with someone."
CROW: [Sally] It'd better not be me.
>
>"It better be me are I'm going to kill you."
CROW: Whoa. Called that one wrong.
> She said, her eyes
>close, leaning against me.
>
>"Well I was going to say
TOM: [Knuckles] Tails.
> Bunnie but... You'll do." I smiled
>playfully.
>
>"You better be lying..." She started, eyes open, looking up at me.
MIKE: OK, they're getting a wee bit TOO playful...
>
>"I am!!" I laughed, hugging her tighter.
TOM: [Knuckles] Wait... what am I lying about again?
>
>"Good, now kiss me."
>
>"Yes ma!"
MIKE: Great. Oedipus Complex Number 2...
TOM: Not to mention another deux ex machina device...
CROW: Couldn't be. This fic has proven that there is no God...
>
>
>~~~Tails
TOM: The final curtain draws near...
>
>"Sonic...." I pushed the hedgehog off of me.
CROW: Oh God, this had *better* not be implying that we missed
anything "important."
> "What?"
>
>"As much as I hate to say this but... I'm still a kid!! I'm not
>really for THAT!"
ALL: [collective sigh of relief]
> I stated, seeing him nodded, made me relaxes.
TOM: As do we.
>"Then we can still kiss right?" "Sonic if I could, we would kiss
>threw the whole day." He smiles, and kiss me again.
CROW: And on that very disturbing note...
>
>
>
>
>Fin...
TOM: Wow.
> I hope Doujinshika likes this fic...
MIKE: Bless her heart.
> it took way longer than
>I thought...
CROW: It could have been longer. Let's leave it at that.
> oh well... I don't usually write stories (Sonic x
>Tails) like these, but Doujinshika did ask...
CROW: Note to self... 'blame Doujinshika.'
> I couldn't say no. ^_^
>
>Hope you guys like it anyway.
ALL: [silence]
>
>Megablackstar
>
>
[ Everyone silently exits the theater. ]
[ More commercials. You've earned them. ]
[ Interior of Satellite of Love. ]
TOM: You know what, Mike? I'm sorry we doubted you. We really
*did* have the ability to make it through that fic mostly
unscathed.
MIKE: We've all been through worse before.
TOM: I mean, even though the nausea only compounded itself with the
complete lack of tense to retain itself through even a single
sentence, the constant bewildering changes in perspective, and the
very prospect of a sexual relationship between a pre-pubescent
anthropomorphic fox and hedgehog, we managed to hold up very
well, in my opinion.
CROW: Right. And even though the one plot element *did* throw us for a
decent loop, I found that the fic was still kind enough to end
before things developed anymore in potentially wrong directions.
MIKE: Exactly. While undoubtedly bad, just be happy that it wasn't any
worse.
BOTS: Yeah!
MIKE: Let's go gloat to Mrs. F. now. [reaches over and taps the button]
[ Castle Forrester. Pearl is on-screen looking at the Observer, who
looks rather beaten-up. His brain dish is dripping and his clothing
is tattered. ]
PEARL: How could he beat you up? You have no body!
OBSERVER: I *know!* That's what's so scary!
PEARL: So then *what* happened?
OBSERVER: Well, I figured it would have been most conducive to have Bobo
get in touch with his 'inner child.'
PEARL: What the heck is *that* supposed to mean?
OBSERVER: Well, whatever Bobo unlocked within himself made him go simply
mad!
PEARL: Is this is news?
OBSERVER: Well, he just started thrashing about madly and babbling
incoherently!
PEARL: Exactly my point. Where the Hell is he, anyways?
[ Just then, pounding and wailing can be heard from off-screen. ]
OBSERVER: Pardon. [runs off-screen]
PEARL: [noticing Mike] Oh. Well, how do you feel?
[ SoL ]
MIKE: A bit flustered, but otherwise all right. Sorry.
[ Castle Forrester ]
PEARL: Go figure. That pretty much caps off my day the way I figured it
would. Aren't you even the least bit traumatized?
[ SoL ]
TOM: Well, you kinda pissed off Crow. He wanted a Tails/Knuckles fic.
CROW: I *do* not! Besides! Don't give her any ideas!
[ Castle Forrester ]
PEARL: Oh, special requests, huh? I'll see what I can find...
[ SoL ]
CROW: [elbowing Tom the best his arms can allow] Nice going, Fanboy...
MIKE: It was a good effort though, Pearl. Really.
[ Castle Forrester ]
PEARL: You're just saying that.
[ SoL ]
TOM: No, he's not.
MIKE: Right. But once we realized that the fic's most dangerous aspect
was where it lead your train of thought, we just tried our best to
bear through what we had.
[ Castle Forrester ]
PEARL: That's true. I suppose it *could* have been worse. [stops in
a few moments of thought] ACK! You're right. I *don't* want
to go there.
[ SoL ]
CROW: We'll, we're glad that you didn't.
[ Castle Forrester ]
PEARL: Don't you patronize me! Just for that, I'm gonna see if I can
find something more graphic for next time! In fact...
[ Pearl's words are cut off by the sound of splintering wood and the
howl of a very angry-sounding Bobo. ]
PEARL: Um... I'll be right back. [closes connection]
[ SoL ]
MIKE: I think she'll be busy for a while.
TOM: Right.
CROW: Yep.
MIKE: I hope Bobo doesn't hurt her *TOO* much.
CROW: You don't?
TOM: Maybe just enough so that she forgets that last promise she made.
MIKE: Good call. I suppose that's the best thing we can hope for.
BOTS: Yeah.
MIKE: [sigh] Well... long day, huh?
BOTS: Yeah.
MIKE: 'least it's over.
BOTS: Yeah.
[long pause]
CROW: Hey Mike?
MIKE: Yeah?
CROW: Will you finish taking my quiz?
-----X-----
CREDITS:
"Mystery Science Theater 3000" and all related characters and other
specific contents are trademarks of and copyright of Best Brains,
Incorporated.
"Sonic the Hedgehog" and related characters and other specific
contents are trademarks of and copyright of one or more of the
following: Sega, DiC, and Archie Comics.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is solely for the purpose
of entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be
inferred.
"Tails' Lover" is copyright of Megablackstar.
This MiSTing itself is copyright of Kevin Frane, at kdf...@hotmail.com
No offense at Megablackstar, 'Sonic' fans, or anyone else mentioned
in the course of the MiSTing is implied. Everything should be taken as
constructive criticism, and of course, all in good fun.
Special thanks to:
Erica - for getting me riled up enough on all those occasions to
eventually write something like this.
D - for the many conversations that most likely inspired a good
portion of these riffs, and for a certain talking birthday
present.
Matt - for being brave enough to proofread this. I hope that the
sake made up for the emotional scarring.
My 'fans' on the Internet - I use the term loosely, mainly to
refer to people who've read other things I've read and
given me constructive feedback. Judging the quality of
one's own work is near impossible... thanks for the C&C.
Megablackstar - for being a good sport about this.
and finally...
All those who've written the many, many excellent MiSTings I've
had the pleasure to read - I hope I do good credit to the trade.
Stingers:
>"What!? Last I looked you not my father, the only here that teats me
>with respect is Knuckles!!
>Why does he have to act stupid now?! Sheesh...some hedgehogs.