FANFIC: Robotnik's Big Break
SONIC FAN
Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures
Episode 2
"Robotnik's Big Break"
By Sonic Fan
Send your comments, questions, sugggestions, flames, requests to make this
into a movie and/or card game to:
sonic...@yahoo.com
Get the previous episode at the SONIC FAN homepage
http://members.xoom.com/SONIC_FAN/
And now the famous
=======LEGAL STUFF========
Sonic is a copyright of Archie comics and Sega. All other characters are
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misc
things. SONIC FAN does not claim ownership of anything in or any part of
the following story.Don't try to sell this story for money or you might
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=======END LEGAL STUFF. COMMENCE FANFIC=========
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures
"Robotnik's Big Break"
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
In the last episode of SHTUA....
Back in the other dimension of Sonic fights Robonik 5, Agent 00-tails was
contaced by HQ about the stolen *ORACLE*. Robo Shlobo of the robotic
mafia
had stolen it. After an attempt on Miles' life failed, Robo fled the
karaoke
club. An action-packed car chase ensued, but the *ORACLE* sucked them
into
another dimension! Back on Mobius all was peaceful, SUDDENLY Miles
arrived,
with an uninvited guest ROBO SHLOBO ROBONIK! Meanwhile on 1998 earth
Robotnik
and snivley escaped there through a time portal. BA-BOOM! They stole Pat
Buchannans car and crashed into a wall. BA-BANG! BAck on Moboius, Sonic n
pals battled Robo Sholobo. After they demolished a 7-11, Robo escaped,
which
brings us to the beginning of the next episode....
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Robotnik: Doo doo doo doo doo....
(a filing cabinet explodes and Robotnik jumps out)
Robotnik: IT'S THE ROBOTNIK SHOW!!!!
(SWAT bots clap and cheer)
Bots: YAY...WHOO-HOO
Robotnik: Let's give it up for Snivley and the SWAT bot Orchestra!
Bots: (clapclapclap) WHOO....YEAH
Snivley and the bots play Mambo #5
Bots: (song ends) YAY. YAY. YAY.
Robotnik: Now it's time for....THE SWAT MISSLE!!!
Bots: (much hooting and hollering)
2 worker bots roll the missle launch pad out onto the stage while
Snivley's
band plays "Spirit in the sky"
Robotnik: (holding a NES Advantage controller) 10 seconds to launch...
Bots: 3....2....1
Robotnik pushes the start button. *BLOOP*
Missle: *WHOOOOOOOOOOSH*
Bots: (jump out of the missles path as it flies out the studio doors)
AHHHH!
Robotnik: Hey-ooooo!
The missle flies away from the death egg, over the buildings of
robotropolis,
towards the great Forest.
Robotnik: And now let's turn on the missle cam!
Snivley flips a switch. The missle-eye view is displayed on the big
screen
on stage.
Robontik: (controlling the missle with the joystick) dum dee doo
The screen shows trees flying by
Bird: SKWAAAAAAK!
The missle flies through a tree canopy and into knothole
Antoine: ZACRE BLUE SHEEEEZER!!!! (jumps into a pile of metal pipes)
Bunnie: YIP YIP YEEARG!! (dives into the dirt)
Tails: Wah! Ah! WAH WHA! (jumps over the missle)
Robotnik: Woah! hey look out! heh heh
The missle is on a direct course to sonic!
Sonic: (turns around) HUH!?! WOAH DUDE! (runs away)
The missle chases sonic
Sonic: Yo slow missle dude! Chow on this speeeed jam! (ZWOOSH!)
Robtnik: Grrr lousy hedgehog....he-ya! yowza!
Sonic runs through knowhole, jumping onto Rotor's wheelbarrow of machine
parts
, knocking it over
SOnic: Comin thru rote!
Rotor: WoooboogA!
The missle chase sonic over the bridge, through the power ring pool, and
into
the window of Sally's hut
Sonic: (runs onto the bed and bounces on it, dodging the missle) BOINGY
BOINGY
Sally: SONIC!!!
Missle: (turns around) SWOOOOOSH!
Sonic: Gotta jam sal, catch ya later!
Sonic buzzsaws through the wall and runs out of the hut, while
knocking over some expensive vases and statues. the missle pursues
Robotnik: Ha ha...you have done well so far hedgehog, but let's see you
match
my turbo booster! (hits the A button)
Missle: VRRRRRRRMMMM! NYEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!
Sonic: Holy strudle!
Sonic dashes up a wall, jumps off, rolls on the ground through a tunnel,
hops into a birdbath, dives into a vegetable garden and runs on the
waterwheel
and backflips onto the roof of a hut!
Sonic: (pant pant pant) whew, i think i lost it
Missle: ahem
Sonic: (turns around) GAH!!!
Missle: VWWRSH!!!!!
Sonic ducks
Missle: VWOSH!
Sonic spins like a top, missle misses!
Robotnik: (frantically pushes buttons) go go missle! GO!
Sonic: (disappears)
Robotnik: Huh?
Sonic suddenly jumps out from behind weather vane and puts a garbage can
over the
missle!
The screen goes black, then it shows sonic putting the lid on the can
Sonic: Yo yo yo can't mess the blue speedin speed machine!!!
The missles circuits short out
Robotnik: BLAST! (throws down the controller) well, let's switch to the
secret knothole surveilence camera
*CLICK*
the camera in the birdhouse shows sonic putting the garbage outside
Geoffry
St. George's hut. Sonic knocks on the door and runs away
Geoffry: (opens the door) Hey punks, I don't want your garbage!
BABAB-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!
The can explodes, blowing up the hut in a huge fireball
Sonic: HA HA HA HA!
Robotnik: HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Bots: HA.........HA............HA
In the living room of Acorn Mansion, Sonic watches this on TV
Sonic: Hhahahaha that was funny! (knee-slappin)
Sally: Sonic, stop watching those Robotnik show tapes, we've got
important planning to do
Sonic: Yo sal, don't you think it's ironic that the King who got thrown
into
the void by Robotnik bought all the taped epidodes of Robotnik's show?
Sally: It's a good show
Sonic: I am in total agreement.... Hahaha, St. John got blown up good
Sally: (laughs) yes, i always liked that episode
In another room Tails and Uncle Bob are playing Super Street FIghter 2 on
SNES
Tails: HEEEEE-YAYAYYAYAYAY! Be warned, I am a ninja expert
Bob: HAH! Ye cannot defeat the ninja MASTER!
Tails: YAHYAHAYHYHAH! PUNCH! KICK! DEFEND!
Bob: (casually pushes buttons)
Tails: AHAGAGHAHG!!! (flails around doing complicated manouvers on the
controller)
Bob: yaaawwwn
Ken: Hadoken! Shoyrouken! *BAM* *PLAH* *SPAK*
Ryu: *BLOCK* *BLOCK* *BLOCK*
Ken: KICKICKICK
Tails: ULTIMATE COMBO.... HUH!?!!?!?!???????????
Ryu: Hi-yiiyiyiyiyiyiyiyyi! (jumps) *BLAMALBMLAMBVPAHBPAMBPABHA*
Ken: (dies) oooo-uhhh! oooo-uuuh! *splat*
YOU....WIN
Tails: bu.....hu.....uh......o_O
Bob: Ye want to try again, fool?
Tails: YOU BET YOUR TRAILER I WANNA TRY AGAIN!
Tails picks cammy, Bob picks E. Honda
they fight in England
Cammy: cannon drill!
Ehonda: *BURP*
Cammpy: heyehey hEE iII yAY AYA! kicky jump jump kick yee hi hi hi
Ehonda: (trips cammy) hoomph
cammy: (falls off the bridge) eeee-yyaaaahHh!!!
thunk
YOU.....WIN
Tails: HAHUH???? GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
Bob: Give up yet, boyeee?
Tails: NONONO!!! GEEERRR I KILL YOU THIS TIME!!!!
Bob picks Chun Li, Tails is Blanka
They fight in China
Blanka: Urg! punch punch zapity
Chun Li: Swinging Bird kick!
Blanka: GUmB! (falls)
Bob: (pushes lots of buttons) heehee
Tails: NO!!!!!
A guy in the background runs over Blanka with his bike
YOU....WIN
Tails: YOU CHEEEEEEEEEEEEETED!
Bob: Did not, lllloserboy
Tails: One of these days I'll beat you good uncle bob! Yeah, then you'll
see
that I'm not just a kid I'll show you ALL and win the praise of the
freedom
fighters ... yeah then I'll make you all pay
Sally: 5 minutes until the meeting!
Tails: Woah!
Bob: Woah!
They run over Sally and out the door
Meanwhile some other freedom fighters are chatting on IRC
<Rotor> hihihihi :)
<Bunnie> hi rotor, you rotor yu ;)
<Dulcy> BLAH BLAH!
<Rotor> Dulcy, LOL
<Bunnie> heeheeeheee
<Dulcy> Mogglemogglemoggle!
<Rotor> jfkhafhjfd;;;;
<Bunnie> ROTFL
*** Antoinne (Anto...@freedomfighters.org) has joined #AcornMansionChat
<Antoinne> Allo!
<Bunnie> Antoinne! *zuggles Antonie* ;)
<Antoinee> Ze lou la, you all!
<Bunnie> O=o=O
<Antoinne> ise za ASCII of Boonie?
<Bunnie> ya ya ya ya! U get A c00kie!
<Antoinne> yip yip yip! :) :) :) :) :)
Rotor wantS c00kie too!
Bunnie gives rotor a c000kie LOL
<Rotor> MMMmm c000kies
Antoinne throws c00kies at every1
<Bunnie> hahhaha *throw cookie*
Dulcy slaps Rotor around a bit with a large cookie
<Rotor> LOL
<Rotor> LOL
<Rotor> LOL
<Rotor> LOL
<Rotor> LOL
Bunnie pole vaults
Antoinne launches a TV into the stratosphere
Bunnie *qfflez* Rotor
<Rotor> :):):):)
*** Sonic (pack...@robotropolis.net) has joined #AcornMansionChat
<Sexhog> type !xxxsonicpics for sonic p0rn
<Rotor> SONIC!
<Rotor> SONIC!
<Dulcy> HI SONIC! LOL
<Bunnie> HI THEAH SUGAH HAWG! ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
<Sonic> !xxxsonicpics
<Rotor> LOL
<Rotor> LOL
Bunnie throws c00000koie at sonic!!!! =)
<Sonic> any1 have l33t SeKurIty SystEm passw0rdz for Acr0n Mans1on?
<Rotor> LOL
<Bunnie> Those are top secret. Are you sure you're the real Sonic?
<Sonic> yes
<Bunnie> Ok sugah hawg, here ya go! :)
<Rotor> COOOOOKIES! COOOOOKIES!!!
Sally: You guys! The meeting!
They're all in the computer room typing to each other
Rotor: Ok Sally. LOL....oops, i'm not on IRC, heh :)
Bunnie: COOKIE!
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
The Ruins of Robotropolis, the Death Egg
The basement of the runined Death Egg has been refurnished to look like
the
old command center. Except insted of a command chair there is an old La-
Z-boy
with stuffing coming out of it, and instead of a master computer there is
an
atari 2600 hooked up to a black and white TV.
Packbell: (typing at the computer) That was easier than I thought!
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Acorn Mansion, The Confrence Room
Sally: As you know, we are here to discuss the strategy to defeat our new
enemy, Robo Shlobo. Is everyone here? ... good, I'll now give the talking
stick to Mr. Uncle Chuck Hedgehog
Chuck: (takes stick) Well howdy thar folx!
All: HOWDY UNCLE CHUCK!
Chuck: Hyuck hyuck, now a funny thing happened to me on the way to the
meeting
'parrently I fell into a relm beyond time and space! So there I was
floatin
a long lookin for my car keys when...
Sally: (takes the stick) we don't have time for this insolence! (hands
the
stick to Dr. Quack)
Quack: (takes the stick) QUUUUUUACK QUUUUACK WUUUAAKKKK
Sally: (takes the stick and hands it to Geoffry St. John)
Geoffry: Now let's get back on topic shall we? There are three rings of
power
forged by the elven kings. But the most powerful of the rings is in the
hands
of the ring-bearer. The one ring, the one the dark lord seeks
Sally: (bangs her head against the table) *BONK* *BONK* *BONK*.....hold
on,
where's Miles?
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
The First National Mobian Bank
Teller: (hands big coins to an otter) thirty-four thirty-five...
*KA-POW!
Robo kicks through the glass door! Armed with a machine gun he is
followed by
Snivley and Coconuts
Robo: Stick em up Mobians! Your bank is being robbed by the new and
improved
robtic mafia!
Teller: NAnanananananaa...
Robo: (Walks up to teller and points the machine gun up his nose) Now
listen
up, put the money in the bag and NO FUNNY STUFF CAPICE???
Teller: yy-y-y-y-y-ya...ya-ya-ya-ya-yessir
Snivley hands a garbage bag to the teller
Teller: eeeep! e-e-e-eeep! (puts coins in the bag)
Robo: I'm gettin impatient here...
Teller: AH! ah-ah-AHH! (puts coins in faster)
The otter pulls the alarm switch
BOOGIE-BOOGIE-WHOOOP!
Robo: HEY!!!! (shoots the otter)
Otter: Arrrrg! *bam*
Muskrat: NOOOOOO! OTTER!!!
Otter: Grrrg...garrrf..
Alarm: BUUZZZZ! BUZZZZZZ! BUZZZZZ! warning police are coming, warning
police
are coming BUZZZZZZZZ! BUZZZZZZZ!
Robo: Let's make like bank robbers and get the fock outta here!
They run, except for Robotnik who drags the heavy bag of coins
Robo: RRRRGgggH! Wait up!
Police hovers pull up! Lots of police hovers, so many that they run into
each
other! Heavily armed cops rush out!
Robo: (gets shot at) woah! (drops the bag) RUUUUN!!!!
Coconuts: The moneeey! THe moneeeeeey!!! (picks up the bag and
skeedaddles)
They fight their way through a wall of police officers
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM
Jumping over bullets, rockets and SWAT teams, they get into their beat up
hoverunit and drive away!
Hoverunit: *putt putt*
Snivley: Let's go man!
The cops are after them! They drive into traffic, causing a 234 car pile
up
The police are blocked by a pile of wreckage! The bad guys are getting
away!
Coconuts: YEEEAH!!!!!!! YEEAH! YAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! WE MADE IT!! WEEE
MAAAADDE I-
They turn past a street corner but suddenly something jumps out of a
mailbox!
It's Secret Agent Miles Prower!
Miles: Looting the dumpsters again RoboShloboRobotnik?
Robo: You!!! Die you! (shoots at Miles)
Miles dodges and rolls on the sidewalk, shooting back at the car with his
automag! BANG BANG BANG!
Robo: Run him over!
Snivley: LET'S ROCK!!!
Miles ducks
The hover drives through a narrow alley
SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
sparks fly and Miles is after them, guns a blazin'!
Robo shoots back! He throws a grenade BLEEMO! Miles flys up to avoid the
blast!
Robo: GO GO gogogogogoggo!!!
Snivley: Look! A chop shop up ahead!
Miles: (rubs dust out of his eyes) Where'd they go
In the chop shop
ChopSuey: Yo lamerz, you give me 10 mobians, i fix u up good, yes?
Robo: Here you go Mr. Suey....huh??
Robotnik reaches into the bag and pulls out an old bannana peel
Robo: You idiots! This is the wrong bag!
Coconuts: No wonder it was so light....
Robo: Now I'm going to have to pay for this out of my own pocket (gets
out
his wallet) and I am NOT pleased! THis is coming out of your salaries!
Snivley & Coco: Awww man
Miles is out on the street looking for them
Robo: Here you go now make it snap-diddly-dappy
ChopSuey: Yo, yougotit lamerz
In 10 seconds the plates have been changed and the hover is painted
bright
purple with polka-dots
Miles sees the hover drive out
Miles: No...that can't be it. Looks like Shlobo's evaded me again. These
guys
who are working for him now must be professionals.
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Acorn Mansion, Meeting Room 16:48
Miles parachuts out of the sky and shoots the skylight! POW POW POW
KKRRRRAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
The skylight shatters! Miles parachutes onto the table!
Miles: Sorry I'm late, I was stopping Robo Shlobo's evil plan.
Rotor: Neato! Did you stop him?
Milkes: No
Antoinne: you steeeeeeeeeenk
Miles: (shoots at Antoinne)
Antoinne: ZZZEEEEEEEYAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (hides under the table)
Sally: (Bangs stick on table) ORDER! ORDER!!!!!! ORDEEEEEER!!!!!!!
Rotor: I want chicken nuggets!
Dr. Quack: QUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAACK WUAAKK KWAAAK got any duckfood?
Sally: Silence!
All: (quiet)
Sally: Let's review what he have so far. We have decided to fight Robo
Shlobo
and fight him good. This was suggested to us by Uncle Chuck
Chuck: (waves) huh huh hiya folks!
5 hours later
Dr. Quack: (throws pencil at sonic) QUUAKK HA HA QUA QUAK!!!!
Sonic: grrrrr (lunges at Quack) you'll pay for that quackface!
Dr. Quack: AHHHHH!!! WUAK WUK WAAA!!! (ninjas sonic)
BANG! POW! WAPPO!
Geoffry: I am the coolest skunk on mobius... doo doo dee dum...
Rotor: WHERE MY CHICKENNUGGETS?????
Antoinne: And zaccording to my royale guard millitaroi strahtager, we
sneheek
into ze Death Egg and LE BOUM! bleugh it up with a beumb.
Sally: Meeting is ajourned. We have accomplished nothing as usual, (sigh)
Tails: (swings on a lighting fixture) woo woo!
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
That Night
Sonic: Yo Sal, what is up wit y'ou all? You is lookin blue
Sally: It's just that I can't get our freedom fighters to work together.
Maybe it's just because I'm a bad leader, i don't know Sonic ......
Sonic: Sal?
Sally: yes sonic?
Sonic: Yo Sal I know what wad cheer you up, how about we go on IRC and
have
cybersex?
Sally: GET OUT!!!! (throws lamp at Sonic)
Sonic: (ducks) woah man!
Tails: (dodges flying lamp) DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!
Dr. Quack: quak auk QUCK....ARRRRG! (lamp hits him upside the head)
*XRRSH!*
Dr. Quack: QUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAACVCCCCCCCCKKKKK!!! (fals down the
stars)
Rotor: Uh oh
Dr Quack hits rotor! BAM!! they roll down the staris, hitting dulcy
Dulcy: DUUUUUUUHHHH i dont wanna goto school
mommmyyy....aaaahhhrrrrrggg...
*BUMP* *BUMP* *BUMP* (plows through a wall) *BOFF*
Sonic: I think my relationship with Sal might be in trouble
Tails: You think?
Sonic: Yo lil bro, what do I do??
Tails: I told you, you should've talked to my uncle Trey Prower the
marriage
counseller back in SOnic Fights Robotnik 5
Sonic: HUH? Me and Sal are MARRIED?
Tails: How should I know?
Sonic: Um, I'm pretty sure we aren't. ummmm...or are we, ahhh man i'm
going
loco!
Tails: That's nice..(leaves)
Back at the SNES
Tails: Now my training must begin. I will defeat Uncle Bob at SF2. Oh
yes,
I will defeat Uncle Bob at SF2.
(rocky music plays)
Tails breaks some eggs into a glass and drinks them
Tails: (does karate moves) hi! ha! heya! (backflips onto a table, lands
on his
back) OW!
Tails cracks his knuckles and picks up the controller. He turns up the
difficulty
to 8 stars.
Ken: HA! YAH!
Ryu: HEY! HAI!
Chun Li: YA YA YA!
Fei Long: HOOOOOOOOIIIII!
Tails tapes up his thumbs
Blanka: RRRG! BLAH!
Tails studies the SSF2 Strategy Guide
Sagat: TIGER UPPERCUT!
E. Honda: OOGAH!
Tails: (meditates) ooommmm.....
Dhalism: (meditates) oommmm
Tails: (does more karate moves) HA! YA! KEI! (kicks statue, it shatters)
YAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!
Zangeif: OOF ORT!
Tails: (backflips) HAI! (lands on the table on his feet)
SHOYROUKEN! M. BISON GOES DOWN!!!
Tails: (runs up the stairs) YEEAH! YEEAHHHH!!! (punches air) YEAH! (jumps
up and down)
Tails: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOO--
Uncle Bob: SHUP THE FIOCK UP, YE!
Tails: sorry! (quietly) haa hah! now I can finally defeat uncle bob
(looks
at the time) 6:59, 1 minute until active duty, well I'll just go to sleep
now
for 1 minute *KLONK* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz....
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Earth, 1998 A.D.
The wind blows a tumbleweed through the street. The city is a desolate
place,
in this part, of abandoned businesses. Here stands a building, with a car
crashed outside, it tells the tale of a fat man and his pointy nosed
sidekick
who one day ended their lives here and....
Robotnik: Hey Snivaley, one-a pizza pie commin up!
Snivley: I got it, i got it (raw pizza hits snivley in the head) *SPLORT*
Robotnik: Ooops, there-a goes another-pizza, itsa SPICY MEATSEEBALL!!
Snivley: (mutters) what a fat IDIOT
Robotnik: WHAT!?!?
Snivley: Er, I said.. what a fat... SNIDEOT
Robotnik: Oh...well....all right then...yeah
Robotnik's Pizza Parlour, 7:00 AM
Robotnik: It sure was fortuneate of us to survive that car crash, and
crash
into this old Pizza Place, which the owner sold to us cheap, because of
property damage
Snivley: Sir, the early morning Pizza junkies are coming
Robotnik: Oh! A HEYA HEYA MAMMA MIA! ITsa Me, Robotnik!
Hippie: hey man....got any pizza man...
Robotnik: yessa sir, we gotsa lotsa pizzapie!
Hippie: Uh ok man...I'll have 100 large pizzas man...
Robotnik: Youra order coming right up!
Kitchen
Robotnik: Snivley, 100 pizzas!
Snivley: arrrgg.... (mutters) lazy fat
Robotnik: WHAT????
Snivley: I said lzzy fght
Robotnik: Well...good! Now stop yappin and get...pizza-in
Robotnik turns on the TV
Robotnik: Colleco-Vision time!...huh??
Snivley: Sir, we used the chips from the Colleco-Vision, in combination
with parts of the pizza oven and some aluminum foil, to make 3 SWAT bots
remember?
Robotnik: Oh yes! The bots, that we will use to take over the world!
(evil
laugh) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Using this Pizza manufacturing business as
cover we
will slowly rebuild our army until the coup...of EARTH! HAHAHAHAHAH!
Snilvey: (mutters) laughing fat...
Robotnik: Did you just call me a laughing fat?!?
Snivley: yes
Robotnik: Oh goodie, Crossfire is on!
On TV
We now return to...CROSSFIRE!
Bill: Hi there viewers, we were just discussing Act #582-D. Now I said to
Pat,
"no no, nayh nyah, you're wrong" and he said "I'm right, your notm touch
blue
make it true" and I said "triple black stamp, no king kong krushies"
Pat: Now Bill, VETO on King Kong Krushies, and mega-monkey the triple
black
stamp
Bill: Quadruple black stamp, triple dog dare, times twelve!
Pat: Anti-dog-dare ammendmant, TRIPLE KAO-KEN ATTACK
Bill: KAMAYA MAYA!
Pat: Block your atatack!
Bill: A million black stamps!
Pat: anti-matter containment feild on the black stamp factory, mega-
monkey
times INFINITY!
Bill: yo momma so fat...
Back in the Restaurant
Customers: GIVE US PIZZA! GIVE US PIZZA!
Robotnik: I'll fix them (shakes up pop bottle) SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO
WATCH
TV! (unscrews the cap) KABLAMOFIZZZ!!! (sprays them with hi-pressure
fizz)
Customers: ArrrGG!
Bob: THe bubbles are up nose AHHH it stings GGAAAHhHH!!
Rush Limbaugh walks in
Rush: Hey hey! Rush Limbaugh needs pizza! hey hey! (rings bell for
service)
hey! ho! hey hey! Pizza time!
Snivley: RObotnik! 1 pizza!
Robotnik: Okaya kaya, here ya go, one-a pizzapie comin up, herea your
freakin pizza!! (throws it like a frisbee)
ZZZWWWWAAANNNNNNGG.......SKKRRRRUSHHHHSSHHH!!!!!! *thunk*
Rush: ArrKKKkk GUUAAHHH!!
Robotnik: (pulls pizza out of the wall) Hey Snivley, I think we need to
change
the recipie, this pizza crust is like a metal blade (looks down) ......
uh-oh
Snivley: Oh dear....oh d-d-d-dear dear
Robotnik: We decapitated a fat dude!
Snivley: Are there any witnesses?
Robotnik: (looks around) phew, no, they left after i sprayed them with
7up
Snivley: Hmmm...where's the head?
Robotnik: (looks thru pockets) ah ha! a wallet (opens wallet) let's see
here..
(looks at driver's license) Rush Limbaugh...hmmm (takes credit cards)
Score!
C'mon snivley, we're going to Radio Shack to buy SWAT bot parts!
Snivley: But sir....
Robotnik: Snivley! get in the frickin' car, the SWAT bots will clean up
the mess
Snivley: B-b-b-b-b
Robotnik: Did you just call me...BUTT?
Snivley: Butbutbut
Robotnik: SO I'm the BUTT now?
Snivley: bababababa
Robotnik: That's better, to the pizzamobile!
THey get into the rusty Buick. Meanwhile SWATbots watch TV
SWAT1: DRRRRROOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEE ....PO....KE....MON
Hippie: Hey man...I'm hungry man
The pizzamobile drives along the sidewalk
Pedestrians: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Snivley: EEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!
Robotnik: (honks horn) Move it, move it! shheeesh, some people are
ignorant!
Radio Shack
The pizzamobile drives through the entrance creating a big mess of
smashed
electronics
Snivley: SIR, are you trying to blow our entire special effects budget or
something?
Robotnik: What are you talking about?
Police cars smash into the entrance, one hits a ramp and flies into the
store,
(through a wall) landing upside down on a bunch of computers
Robotnik: (browsing) RAM chips, half-price! I'll need these (steps over
flaming
wreckage) cool a synthesizer (plays it)
*BOOP*BOOP**BEEP*THUMP*THUMP**BA*BA*
*WOOF*WOOF*WOOF**MEOW**HEY*HEY**DA*
Teenagle Clerk: Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to stop playing with that if
you're
not buying it
Robotnik: Oh fiddledaddle! Here (hands him RAM chips) I'll just buy
these!
Clerk: Cash or charge
Robotnik: Charge it...on my CREDIT CARD, which I did NOT steal from a
headless
guy, heh heh (evil laugh) HAHAHAHAHA
Clerk: Ummm....right...Hey, you're Rush Limbaugh??
Robotnik: Yeah. whats it to ya, zitface?
Clerk: WOw, Rush Limbaugh, I love your show!!!
RObotnik: Show?
Clerk: Your TV show! too bad it got cancelled
Robotnik: TV..>..SHOW?? TV SHOW?? ALL RIGHT!!!!!
Clerk: Can I have your autograph OOOMPF---- (Robotnik shoves him over and
runs to Snivley, trampling the clerk)
Robotnik: Snovley! Quickly, we must go to the TV station!
Snivley: Huh?
Robotnik: My evil plan is as follows: In this world (does quotes with his
hands)
"Rush Limbaugh" had a "TV" Show. We killed "Rush Limbaugh" but "Rush
Limbaugh"
is a fat guy, like me. So we will go to the "TV" Station and I will pose
as
"Rush Limbaugh" thus returning our "TV" show to the airways allowing us
to
take over the world!
Snivley: Oh, great plan sir (mutters) incompetent fat
Robotnik: (bops Snivley) bad!
Snivley: arrrrg (mutters) violent fat
Robotnik: (bops Snivley) bad!
Snivley: Arrrrgg (mutter) fat idiot
BOP
Meanwhile, back at Robotnik's Pizza Parlour
David Kintobor is walkin down the street singing
Davey: Doo wa diddy diddy dum diddy doo! (kicks something)
OW!
Davey: Huh??
Rush Limbaugh's Head: Hey, watch it (rolls down the street)
Davey: (chases head) what the... (picks it up)
Rush: Hey man you've gotta help me! This fat guy cut my head off and
stole
my wallet!
Davey: Wh-a-....RUSH LIMBAUGH? IS THAT YOU?!?!??
Rush: Arrrg!
Davey: (runs into the pizza place and grabs a pickle jar) hold on Rush!
(pushes a button on his arm and fills the jar up with water of life) come
on
Rush! (puts head in jar)
Rush: Whew....thanks kid, i ow ya one
Davey: Hey you're all rigt! Hi I'm David "Foxfire" Kintobor, your number
1
fan!
Rush: You gotta help me kid. I was just sittin here waiting for my pizza
when
suddenly a pizza flew out of nowhere a cut my head off! Then some fat guy
stole my wallet!
Davey: Who was this fat guy, can you describe him?
Rush: He was the owner of this restaurant I think, his picture is on the
sign
outside.
Davey: (Rushes out side) NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! father....
Rush: What is it kid?
Davey: This is my evil father from Earth in the distant furture. In the
future it's called Mobius andhe was an evil dictator but he died! He was
supposed to die, but he's not dead! He somehow managed to travel back
through
time to this time period!
Rush: wow. WOW.
Davey: We've got to stop him!
Rush: Hey kid, no way. I'm just a head in a jar, I'm not fighting no evil
dictators from Mobiwhatever. Count me out.
Davey: You said yo owed me one
Rush: D'oh!
Davey: (picks up jar) let's go!
FBI agent: Not so fast Kintobor!
Davey: Drat! Feds!
Agent: You're under arrest for selling intergalictic space weapons to a
militia! (authors note: SMAK reference)
Davey: Oh crap, i knew this would come back to haunt me some day
Agent: PUT...THE HEAD....DOWN (aims gun)
Davey: Foxfire! Transform!
Light flashes around Davey. The area around him turns into a speeding
anime
background. Davey jumps into the air!
Rush: Holy limbaugh!
Davey transforms into FIGHTING FOX FORM!
Theme Music: GO FOXFIRE, GO!
Foxfire jumps in the air and jump kicks the agent
Agent: BRAK!
Foxfire: (takes out the Power Rifle) chew on this (fires)
Agent: ARRG! (runs away)
BLAMO!!!
Half the street is ripped up
Agent: AHHHH! MOMMY!
Theme Music: FOXFIRE!
Foxfire: Let's go! (flies away with Rush)
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Robotropolis, Death Egg Ruins
Robo Shlobo enters and throws the bag of garbage onto the floor
Robo: Arrrrrg! idiots! Bah!
Coconuts: Hey don't look at me I didn't drop the bag, fatty!
everbody else: Ooooooooohhhhh
Robo: You callin me fat monkey boy?
Coco: YEAH
Robo: yeah?
Coco: YEAH
Robo beats Coconuts to a pulp with a squeegee
Coco: *GRRRK* javascript error 374(b) *GEEEEERRRRRHHHH* (spark)
Robo: We need money and we need it fast. Where can we get enough mobians
to
buy back the entire area of Robotropolis
Grounder and Scratch are watching TV
Nachohead: HEEEY MAN!!! WANT NACHOS???????
Grounder: Huh huhuh uhuh huh yeah
Nachohead: THEN COME ON DOWWWWWN TO THE NACHO BARN!!!! NEXT TO THE MOBIUS
GOLD DEPOSITORY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!! (a watermellon falls on his head)
Grounder: Uhhhh....huhuhuh.... how about we like, go to the uhhhh... gold
supository
Robo: The gold depository.... of course! It's so obvious! (goes on the
internet)
www.mobiusgolddepository.com ..... HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Snivley: How much money have the got there
Robo: HAHHA....listen to this .... one hundred ... BILLON ... Mobians!
Snivley: eheheheh
Coco: ah! ... pah!
Robo: With that much money we can buy out all the Nice Flower factories
and
turn them back into Evil Robot factories!
Snivley: And we could get cable!
Robo: No, satellite!
Coco: hahahaha
Robo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Snivley: HAHAHAHHAHAHA
Packbell: NO
Robo: WHAT?!? INSOLENT!
Packbell: I've got passwords to Acorn Mansion and I'm breaking in! My
logic
circuits tell me that this Gold Depository job is too dangerous, and
Sonic
n' Tails will surely attack us
Robo: Your 'logic' circuits??? HAHAHAHAHA! HAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA! Your
'logic'
circuits run on 5 1/2 floppy diskettes you foolish burger-brained bad
excuse for a none-too-bright department store mannequin! You PACKRAD
BELL!
Packbell: Hey SHUT UP about my family!
Robo: Lamer. I will let you go on your suicide mission since you will
just
fubar up our plan like you always do.
Packbell: Fine! Who's with me?
Robo: The stupid bots! GROUNDER! SCRATCH! FRONT AND CENTER
Scratch: HEhehehHEHhehehe
Grounder: Huhuuhuhuh
Packbell: I HATE YOU ROBOTNIK! (runs to his room and slams the door)
Robo: Anyways, as I was saying, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Earth, CNN TV Station
Robotnik and Snivley enter
Robotnik: Excuse me low-ranking foot-soldier. Where is your director of
programming
UglyDude: 300th floor second door on your left
Robotnik: Thank you, you fungus
UglyDude: fat
Robotnik and Snviely charge the building!!!
Robotnik: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
They get into the elevator and kick everybody off! Robotnik hits all the
buttons
*WHOOSH* UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN
Snivley: arrrrrrrgghh.....*URP* .... i'm going to barf sir
Elevator breaks down
*RRRRRRRRRRRRRCHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
Robotnik: Blast! We'll have to climb the rest of the way
The climb up the cable and Robotnik puts plastic explosives on the 300th
floor door
KAAAAAAFFFFFLAAAAAAAMMMMMOOOOO!!!!
They get into a cart and drive down the hallway running over people and
expensive breakable things
Robotnik: (throws the water cooler through the directors glass door)
BA-BA-BA-DA-BA-DA!
Director: huh?
Robotnik: (runs cart into his desk, breaking it in half) I am Rush
Limbaugh,
here to reclaim my rightful place on TV! Give me a show or I'll have you
robotocized
Director: whatever (calls somebody on the phone)
On the set of Crossfire
Bill: (airplane noises) VRRRRRRROOOOOOMMMM rtatatatata, beeewwww, I drop
a million nuclear bombs BLAHABHAPA:ABABAHSHSHA!!!
Pat: Bomb shelter, you missed NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH!!!
Bill: (hopping up and down) nOOo noOOOnooo noooO!!!
Goons storm the studio and seize the two hosts
Goon1: Your shows cancelled losers
Bill: You can't do that I have a contract (shows them his contract)
Goon2 rips us the contract
Bill: hey.... that was my only copy
Pat: Put me down! When i'm president I'll get you, i'll send you to
jail for a million billion years! hey hey heye hey HEY!
The goons throw Pat & Bill out the 400th floor window
Bill&Pat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (land in dumpster)
Robotnik: (to Snivley) see, the key is to make a good first impression
Snivley: (shakes head) arrrg
Director: (walks on the set) Ah, crossfire is cancelled we now bring you
the Rush Limbaugh show
Robotnik: (waves to the camera) hiya
Director: Whatever
In the dumpster, they watch this on Pat's portable TV
Bill: Wait a minute! Isn't that the fat guy who mishandled my luggage??
Pat: And he stole my car!!!
Bill: Pat! We must join forces to defeat Rush Limbaugh!
Pat: Yes, we will form the ultimate anti-Limbaugh force, and we will call
it
"Right-Wing Avengers!"
Bill: No, "Left-wing superdudes!"
Pat: "RIGHT-WING FREAKIN AVENGERS"
Bill attacks Pat with a broken bottle. Pat fights back with a dead rat
Both: ARGRGAGRGARG!!!! POW! ZAP! BAM!
Robotnik: Yes...the pieces are falling into place... HA HA HA HA HA HA
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Back at the ranch (Acorn Mansion that is)
Sunlight streams in through the window of Sonic's room
Sonic: Zzzzz SNOOOOOREEE zzzzz
*CRASH*
a polo ball flies through the window and hits sonic in the head
*BONK*
Sonic: zfzFZfz...huh? what??
Just then Rotor jumps in through the window, riding a horse and
brandishing
a wooden mallet!!!
*KRAAAAAASSSHHHH*
Rotor: SONIC!!!
Sonic: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rotor: It's an emergency!!!!
Sonic: AHHHHHHHHH! ROTOR YOU IDIOT!!! AHHH!!! (has heart attack)
Rotor: The Gold Depository is under attack by Robo Shlobo and his gang!!!
Sonic: urrkK!! (clutches heart) GAHh!
Robor: Those chili dogs must be bad for your cholestorol
The red alert sirens go off. Everyone is rushsing around, Sally is
barking
orders, Rotor is tryig to eat Coco Puffs, Dulcy is stepping on things,
and in general, total panic and chaos caused by everybody...except Tails
Tails: ZZZZZZzzzzZZZZzzZzzz
Tails is left behind....ALONE
TO BE CONTINUED.....
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
In the next episode of Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures
The Gold Depository is under seige, but it's the Freedom Fighters to
the rescue
Sally: I will prove myself to the world!
(a battering ram tank explodes)
(Miles exchanges gunfire with Coconuts)
But Tails is home alone at the Acorn Mansion while Packbell is trying to
break in!
Packbell: (knock knock) Hi, I'm the easter bunny, let me in and I'll give
you
candy! (ax falls on his head) ....OOWWWw
And back on Earth, will Robotnik's new show be a hit, and will anyone be
able to stop him?
Bill Press: (wearing GI JOE helmet) I don't think so LAMEBAUGH
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
Sonic jumps out of the fanfic!
Sonic: Yo dudes, read the next juicy jammin episode to find out! Past
cool,
way past!
Look for Episode 3 on alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog and the SONIC FAN homepage
#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#
http://members.xoom.com/SONIC_FAN/
sonic...@yahoo.com
this has been a SONIC FAN production
The Chaos Emerald
SONIC FAN babbled:
>(wOrD WrAp tHiS)
>
>Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures
>Episode 2
>"Robotnik's Big Break"
<snip>
Interesting timing, no?
The Chaos Emerald
Maintainer of The Hidden Palace, the only Sonic site with more than
10,000 hits without an inflato-counter!
http://come.to/the-hidden-palace
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Now you can play with AMY!" - Sonic Adventure
"You know you've been on the Internet too much when you think RL is an
acronym for 'Really Lame'" - The Chaos Emerald
Dean Rivers
> Episode 2
> "Robotnik's Big Break"
>
> By Sonic Fan
>
You know what scares me? Although the story is essentially a load of
rubbish, little touches like the above statement "and/or card game" show
Sonic Fan has some intelligence. Sadly, for the majority of the story he
seems to dumb himself down to the level of a spoon. I seriously think if
Sonic Fan was given tuition about how to write a story, and if he was given
a good storyline and if he was given someone else to write the story for him
(whose name didn't end in "Gonterman") , he could make something
half-decent...
I really do hope Sonic Fan is meant to be attempting a twisted parody with
all these warped fanfics. Although at times this story reminds me of someone
else trying to be Sonic Fan.
____
Dean
Darth Krystal
~Krystal~
psychopathic villian bent on UNIVERSE domination,young dark jedi sith as well
as a master in black magic. Proud member of the secret cult known as the Unholy
Alliance.
Liam Slater
Now! Bow down to me or I force you to read it, Mwahahahahhahahahahhaha
--
Liam Slater
lsg...@uk.dreamcast.com, li...@afsh.co.uk
SOS (Save our Sectoids) Hasbro has fired the X-Com Genesis team, the heart
and soul of X-Com, please sign the petition
http://www.davenet.co.uk/hasbro.html
Member of the AFSH Elite Council of Pointless.
Holder of the honoured Digitiser quotes.
Creator of AGX and self appointed maker of the heralded cheese toasties.
Maker of www.afsh.co.uk and the ultimate newbie guide.
NI!
"What the hell is a Snivley? That's one of the stupidest names I've
ever heard of in my life! Does it wear sneakers? Oh, hell, I really
don't want to know."
-Cassidy
Liam Slater
Dean Rivers <d...@nrivers.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:83jtv1$6nv$4...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
> > Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures
> > Episode 2
> > "Robotnik's Big Break"
> >
> > By Sonic Fan
> >
> rubbish, little touches like the above statement "and/or card game" show
> Sonic Fan has some intelligence. Sadly, for the majority of the story he
> seems to dumb himself down to the level of a spoon. I seriously think if
> Sonic Fan was given tuition about how to write a story, and if he was
given
> a good storyline and if he was given someone else to write the story for
him
> (whose name didn't end in "Gonterman") , he could make something
> half-decent...
>
> I really do hope Sonic Fan is meant to be attempting a twisted parody with
> all these warped fanfics. Although at times this story reminds me of
someone
> else trying to be Sonic Fan.
If that's true (someone trying to be SonicFan) then I'm very scared. But I
think SonicFan has gone on too long for it to be considered a parody.
--
Liam Slater
lsg...@uk.dreamcast.com, li...@afsh.co.uk
SOS (Save our Sectoids) Hasbro has fired the X-Com Genesis team, the heart
and soul of X-Com, please sign the petition
http://www.davenet.co.uk/hasbro.html
Member of the AFSH Elite Council of Pointless.
Holder of the honoured Digitiser quotes.
Creator of AGX and self appointed maker of the heralded cheese toasties.
Maker of www.afsh.co.uk and the ultimate newbie guide.
NI!
"Mr T doesn't want to sound like a killjoy. There are many, many ways to
enjoy yourself without getting into trouble. There are parks and fields
where you can kick a ball. If I ever have to come out there once more and
tell you kids to stop using my garage and bins as a goal, I'm gonna rip you
all a new larynx."
-Mr T, Digitiser
Liam Slater
Darth Krystal <missj...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991220005026...@ng-fc1.aol.com...
> actually i think sonic fans stories are funny! :::dodges bullets:::
*Ties a few newbies to Krystal*
Mark, dinner.
Dean Rivers
news:385d6f2a...@news-server.san.rr.com...
> In the insanity known as alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog,
> SONIC FAN babbled:
>
> >
> >Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures
> >Episode 2
> >"Robotnik's Big Break"
>
> Interesting timing, no?
He must have been working all night to finish that off in time for it to be
a contender for an award.
Dean Rivers
Darth Krystal <missj...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991220005026...@ng-fc1.aol.com...
> actually i think sonic fans stories are funny! :::dodges bullets:::
Sections are in this one: the things that are said are so stupid they're
funny.
The Packbell part: funny in a deranged way.
"*** Sonic (pack...@robotropolis.net) has joined #AcornMansionChat
<Sonic> any1 have l33t SeKurIty SystEm passw0rdz for Acr0n Mans1on?
<Bunnie> Those are top secret. Are you sure you're the real Sonic?
<Sonic> yes
<Bunnie> Ok sugah hawg, here ya go! :)
The basement of the runined Death Egg has been refurnished to look like the
old command center. Except insted of a command chair there is an old
La-Z-boy
with stuffing coming out of it, and instead of a master computer there is an
atari 2600 hooked up to a black and white TV.
Packbell: (typing at the computer) That was easier than I thought!"
The trouble is there's a few good jokes but the majority is too stupid to be
funny.
____
Dean, aide of AFSH Awards
Current AFSH Award to vote for: WORST FANFIC
Mark Whickman
Liam Slater wrote in message <83l7i4$fq1$4...@gxsn.com>...
>*Me covers eyes as he puts the fanfic in a lead box*
>Now! Bow down to me or I force you to read it, Mwahahahahhahahahahhaha
>
Liam: NYahaahhaahhaaaa. Must re-write AlL mY FaanFics AS WeiRd Ego TRiPs!
~~>:-<
Visit my Website! http://go.to/ribfaces_lair
_ ^ _
| || |
* || *
* || *
/______* *______\
\ * * /
* || *
* || *
|_ || _|
#########################################################
"The more I see, the more I know - The more I know, the less I understand."
Changingman
"That's it! Be afraid! You all taste so much better when you're afraid!"
- Pennywise.
"The concept of a divine creator is irrelevant to our happiness."
Holder of an award for Pointlessness. (Thanks to the great council)
Member of the Tea League!
Mad Chaos Mutant! Leader of the Spawns 'R' us club.
Mail Me! Markwh...@blackfortress.co.uk Please...
or
see some of my Fanfics at
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Lair/9161/writers.htm
Kumbajji wajji runnin' through the Jungle! (Ignore this)
Mark Whickman
Darth Krystal wrote in message
<19991220005026...@ng-fc1.aol.com>...
>actually i think sonic fans stories are funny! :::dodges bullets:::
>
Mark Whickman
Liam Slater wrote in message <83la7h$5fr$7...@gxsn.com>...
>
>Mark, dinner.
>
Coyote Calhoun
1999 18:21:43 -0000 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Mark
Whickman for an update...
>
> Liam Slater wrote in message <83l7i4$fq1$4...@gxsn.com>...
> >*Me covers eyes as he puts the fanfic in a lead box*
> >Now! Bow down to me or I force you to read it, Mwahahahahhahahahahhaha
> >
> *Squirts Liam with condensed essence of Gonterman*
>
> Liam: NYahaahhaahhaaaa. Must re-write AlL mY FaanFics AS WeiRd Ego TRiPs!
Gaaah! Dear Lord, Mark... what have you done?!! We don't know what effect
concentrated Gonterman will have an a sane individual...
[Suddenly, a poorly-drawn line art version of Liam runs into the room,
moving jerkily. His mouth moves out-of-sync with his words]
"Greeting! I am Liam Crockett-Kintobor, but you can call me Liam-kins!"
[Everyone in AFSH panics and runs away screaming]
/|
_/ V|
/ ' | James "Coyote" Calhoun
/_, (
| \ Wielder of the Almighty Clue-By-Four (tm)
/ \ http://fade.to/back_alleys
/ | ICQ# 57417425
/ / coy...@dangerous-minds.com
/ |
| | |
_\ /| \________________________________________________
Mark Whickman
Coyote Calhoun wrote in message ...
>Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Mon, 20 Dec
>1999 18:21:43 -0000 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
>and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Mark
>Whickman for an update...
>>
>> Liam Slater wrote in message <83l7i4$fq1$4...@gxsn.com>...
>> >*Me covers eyes as he puts the fanfic in a lead box*
>> >Now! Bow down to me or I force you to read it, Mwahahahahhahahahahhaha
>> >
>> *Squirts Liam with condensed essence of Gonterman*
>>
>> Liam: NYahaahhaahhaaaa. Must re-write AlL mY FaanFics AS WeiRd Ego TRiPs!
>
>Gaaah! Dear Lord, Mark... what have you done?!! We don't know what effect
>concentrated Gonterman will have an a sane individual...
>
>[Suddenly, a poorly-drawn line art version of Liam runs into the room,
>moving jerkily. His mouth moves out-of-sync with his words]
>
>"Greeting! I am Liam Crockett-Kintobor, but you can call me Liam-kins!"
>
>[Everyone in AFSH panics and runs away screaming]
>
*Draws a knife*
Ahhhh... Rusty and Dull!
*Stabs Liam-Kins in the head, ending his reign of terror*
A Job well done methinks.
Liam Slater
Coyote Calhoun <coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote in message
news:MPG.12c872f59...@news.portup.com...
> Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Mon, 20 Dec
> 1999 18:21:43 -0000 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
> and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Mark
> Whickman for an update...
> >
> > Liam Slater wrote in message <83l7i4$fq1$4...@gxsn.com>...
> > >*Me covers eyes as he puts the fanfic in a lead box*
> > >Now! Bow down to me or I force you to read it, Mwahahahahhahahahahhaha
> > >
> > *Squirts Liam with condensed essence of Gonterman*
> >
> > Liam: NYahaahhaahhaaaa. Must re-write AlL mY FaanFics AS WeiRd Ego
TRiPs!
>
> Gaaah! Dear Lord, Mark... what have you done?!! We don't know what effect
> concentrated Gonterman will have an a sane individual...
>
> [Suddenly, a poorly-drawn line art version of Liam runs into the room,
> moving jerkily. His mouth moves out-of-sync with his words]
>
> "Greeting! I am Liam Crockett-Kintobor, but you can call me Liam-kins!"
>
> [Everyone in AFSH panics and runs away screaming]
Damn you both, I was drinking read I read these two posts.
Coyote Calhoun
1999 16:54:26 -0500 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent SONIC FAN
for an update...
[Abomination of literature removed courtesy of the CDC]
-------------------------
AFSH FLAME RESPONCE FORM (v. 1.29)
Dear: (check all that apply)
___ Flamer ___ Newbie ___ WebTV user
___ Cotse.com poster ___ Deja.com poster ___ AOL'er
___ Rob Cypher ___ Louis J. M. _X_ SONICFAN
___ David Gonterman ___ Other: ___________________________
I took exception to your recent post on alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog.
It was: (check all that apply)
_X_ lame.
___ stupid.
_X_ half-assed.
___ laughably pathetic.
_X_ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable.
You have committed the following violations: (check all that apply)
___ what you posted/said has been done before.
___ Not only that, it was also done much better the last time(s).
___ your post was a pathetic imitation of ______________________.
(AFSH regular)
___ your post referred to the Newsgroup as a "board", "message board" or
"BBoard".
___ your post was cross-posted to Hell and back.
___ your post contained commercial advertising.
___ your post contained HTML coding.
___ your post had binary attachment(s).
___ your post was repeated several times more than necessary.
___ and it was only one line long.
___ your post was an obvious attempt to start a flamewar by preaching
anti-____________________ dogma.
(Sonicverse)
___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.
_X_ your post contained multiple spelling/grammar errors.
___ your post contained no capitalization and/or punctuation.
_X_ your post contained incorrect capitalization and/or punctuation.
_X_ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!
___ your post was written in one giant multi-page paragraph.
___ your post was an obvious forgery.
___ It was done clumsily.
_X_ your post consisted of the following: (check all that apply)
___ Asking what the cheat codes for Sonic 1 are
___ Asking how to get past the barrels in Sonic 3
___ Asking how to get all the emblems or fast times in Sonic
Adventure
___ Asking how to unlock Mecha-Sonic/Super Sonic in SA
___ Asking where to find Sonic porn
___ Asking if anyone wants to know where to find Sonic porn
___ Asking what "SatAM", "AoSTH", "SA" or "SU" stand for
_X_ Posting a fanfic which is lame because: (check all that apply)
_X_ You posted a multi-chapter fanfic in one giant message
_X_ You didn't bother to spell-check
___ The plot has been done a bazillion times before
_X_ It contains gross mischaracterization
_X_ You clearly were on crack when you wrote it
_X_ You have been warned before that no one here wants to read
your fanfics
___ The entire fanfic revolves around your fan character
___ Your fan character overshadows the Freedom Fighters
___ Your fan character is a blatant carbon copy of
________________
(character)
___ Your fan character has god-like powers
___ Your fan character is horribly lame
___ A main character dies for no reason other than to push your
fan character into the spotlight
___ you quoted an article/letter is followup and did not snip the
irrelavent parts of the original post.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and only added ___ lines
of text.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and only added the line
"Me, too!!!"
___ your .sig is ridiculous because: (check all that apply)
___ it's too damn long.
___ and your mailer truncated it.
___ you included a stupid disclaimer.
___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed.
___ miserably.
___ you included: (check all that apply)
___ a lame self-quote.
___ a lame Robotnik joke.
___ a lame Sonic joke.
___ an incorrect reference from a Sonic cartoon/comic/game.
_X_ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
_X_ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
_X_ The preceding offence(s) have been pointed out to you before.
_X_ several times.
___ by multiple AFSH regulars.
___ Other: _________________________________________
___ Other: _________________________________________
___ Other: _________________________________________
In closing, I say to you: (check all that apply)
___ Get lost and come back when you've grown up.
___ Find a volcano and throw yourself in.
_X_ Quit paying your ISP bill and use the cash to buy a clue.
___ Go play in a strip mine.
_X_ Eat paste and die.
___ Get a gun and shoot yourself.
_X_ [ssssssssssh-WHACK!!]
___ *Plonk*
___ Learn how to write a decent newsgroup message.
_X_ Learn how to write a decent fanfic.
_X_ Learn how to write, period.
_X_ Stop posting to alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog and get a life.
___ Stop posting to newsgroups in general and get a life.
___ Get off the Internet and get a life.
_X_ Just plain get a life!
[Note to AFSH'ers: Feel free to swipe this form and re-write it however
you want. I really don't care.]
Jose L. Solano
ROBOTNIK'S BIG BREAK: THE CHEAP MiST!!
Jose Luis Solano
-------------------------------
Offical Member of the AFSH Stupid Brigade
-------------------------------
Hey Regulus- Where's your Burger King Scyther kechain?
Dean Rivers
> Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Sun, 19 Dec
> 1999 16:54:26 -0500 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
> and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent SONIC FAN
> for an update...
>
> [Abomination of literature removed courtesy of the CDC]
>
> -------------------------
>
>
<sets response form on fire>
You know what... that showed you really didn't have much to do last night,
did you?
Oh well... join the club.
*sits at computer, twiddling thumbs*
But that should be up on a site somewhere as a template for people to use.
____
Dean
Mark Whickman
Liam Slater wrote in message <83mgcp$kd4$1...@gxsn.com>...
>
>Coyote Calhoun <coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote in message
>> Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Mon, 20 Dec
>> 1999 18:21:43 -0000 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
>> and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Mark
>> Whickman for an update...
>> >
>> > Liam Slater wrote in message <83l7i4$fq1$4...@gxsn.com>...
>> > >*Me covers eyes as he puts the fanfic in a lead box*
>> > >Now! Bow down to me or I force you to read it, Mwahahahahhahahahahhaha
>> > >
>> > *Squirts Liam with condensed essence of Gonterman*
>> >
>> > Liam: NYahaahhaahhaaaa. Must re-write AlL mY FaanFics AS WeiRd Ego
>TRiPs!
>>
>> Gaaah! Dear Lord, Mark... what have you done?!! We don't know what effect
>> concentrated Gonterman will have an a sane individual...
>>
>> [Suddenly, a poorly-drawn line art version of Liam runs into the room,
>> moving jerkily. His mouth moves out-of-sync with his words]
>>
>> "Greeting! I am Liam Crockett-Kintobor, but you can call me Liam-kins!"
>>
>> [Everyone in AFSH panics and runs away screaming]
>
>Damn you both, I was drinking read I read these two posts.
>
>--
KT
<coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote...
>Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Sun, 19 Dec
>1999 16:54:26 -0500 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
>and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent SONIC FAN
>for an update...
>
>[Abomination of literature removed courtesy of the CDC]
>
>-------------------------
>
>AFSH FLAME RESPONCE FORM (v. 1.29)
>
>Dear: (check all that apply)
>
>
>
>[Note to AFSH'ers: Feel free to swipe this form and re-write it however
>you want. I really don't care.]
Oooh... That should go on the AFSH page... along with the StH
autoflamer form I have lying around somewhere...
--
Katy Coope
Liam Slater
> >Damn you both, I was drinking read I read these two posts.
> >
> >--
> Say what?
*sigh* What happens when you laugh while drinking?
Mark Whickman
Liam Slater wrote in message <83ou4p$593$1...@gxsn.com>...
>> >
>> >Damn you both, I was drinking read I read these two posts.
>> >
>> >--
>> Say what?
>
>*sigh* What happens when you laugh while drinking?
>
Coyote Calhoun
1999 13:18:56 -0000 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Dean Rivers
for an update...
> Coyote Calhoun <coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote in message
> > Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Sun, 19 Dec
> > 1999 16:54:26 -0500 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
> > and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent SONIC FAN
> > for an update...
> >
> > [Abomination of literature removed courtesy of the CDC]
> >
> > -------------------------
> >
> >
> <sets response form on fire>
HEY!! I spent a whole 15 minutes working on that, ya jerk!
> You know what... that showed you really didn't have much to do last night,
> did you?
Couldn't get in to mp3.com, so no, not really.
> Oh well... join the club.
>
> *sits at computer, twiddling thumbs*
>
> But that should be up on a site somewhere as a template for people to use.
Liam, I believe that would be in your jurisdiction...
Liam Slater
Mark Whickman <Markwh...@blackfortress.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:83p20r$hag$1...@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
>
> Liam Slater wrote in message <83ou4p$593$1...@gxsn.com>...
> >> >
> >> >Damn you both, I was drinking read I read these two posts.
> >> >
> >> >--
> >> Say what?
> >
> >*sigh* What happens when you laugh while drinking?
> >
> You didn't get it on your keyboard did you?
Spent five minutes drying it.
--
Liam Slater
lsg...@uk.dreamcast.com, li...@afsh.co.uk
SOS (Save our Sectoids) Hasbro has fired the X-Com Genesis team, the heart
and soul of X-Com, please sign the petition
http://www.davenet.co.uk/hasbro.html
Member of the AFSH Elite Council of Pointless.
Holder of the honoured Digitiser quotes.
Creator of AGX and self appointed maker of the heralded cheese toasties.
Maker of www.afsh.co.uk and the ultimate newbie guide.
NI!
"Kids, I'm a great music fan. Rap music can be lots of fun, but buy yourself
a pair of headphones and that way you can enjoy the music without annoying
anyone else. Specifically Mr T."
-Mr T, Digitiser
Liam Slater
KT <Ka...@coopefamily.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:AHi+zNAp...@coopefamily.demon.co.uk...
> once upon a time in alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog land, Coyote Calhoun
> <coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote...
> >1999 16:54:26 -0500 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
> >and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent SONIC FAN
> >for an update...
> >
> >[Abomination of literature removed courtesy of the CDC]
> >
> >-------------------------
> >
> >AFSH FLAME RESPONCE FORM (v. 1.29)
> >
> >Dear: (check all that apply)
> >
> >
> >
> >[Note to AFSH'ers: Feel free to swipe this form and re-write it however
> >you want. I really don't care.]
>
> autoflamer form I have lying around somewhere...
Send the prog to me please.
--
Liam Slater
lsg...@uk.dreamcast.com, li...@afsh.co.uk
SOS (Save our Sectoids) Hasbro has fired the X-Com Genesis team, the heart
and soul of X-Com, please sign the petition
http://www.davenet.co.uk/hasbro.html
Member of the AFSH Elite Council of Pointless.
Holder of the honoured Digitiser quotes.
Creator of AGX and self appointed maker of the heralded cheese toasties.
Maker of www.afsh.co.uk and the ultimate newbie guide.
NI!
"I think I know why everyone hates this "SAT am/Archie" Sonic-verse...
as for me, I probably would hate that cartoon and the comic which I've
heard it's based on to begin with."
-Cassidy
Liam Slater
>
>
>
> [Note to AFSH'ers: Feel free to swipe this form and re-write it however
> you want. I really don't care.]
Latest addition to www.afsh.co.uk will be coming soon then.
Liam Slater
> Coyote Calhoun <coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote in message
> news:MPG.12c8c7d84...@news.portup.com...
> > 1999 16:54:26 -0500 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
> > and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent SONIC FAN
> > for an update...
> >
> > [Abomination of literature removed courtesy of the CDC]
> >
> > -------------------------
> >
> >
> <sets response form on fire>
>
> did you?
>
>
> *sits at computer, twiddling thumbs*
>
> But that should be up on a site somewhere as a template for people to use.
And I decided to do that before I read this post (i swear).
Liam Slater
Jose L. Solano <jsola...@aol.comlink> wrote in message
news:19991221011307...@ng-bh1.aol.com...
> Coming Soon to an AFSH near you:
>
> ROBOTNIK'S BIG BREAK: THE CHEAP MiST!!
Why won't you MiST Total Chaos?
Liam Slater
Coyote Calhoun <coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote in message
> Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Tue, 21 Dec
> and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Dean Rivers
> for an update...
> > news:MPG.12c8c7d84...@news.portup.com...
Dec
> > > 1999 16:54:26 -0500 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
> > > and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent SONIC
FAN
> > > for an update...
> > >
> > > [Abomination of literature removed courtesy of the CDC]
> > >
> > > -------------------------
> > >
> > >
> > <sets response form on fire>
>
>
night,
> > did you?
>
> >
> > *sits at computer, twiddling thumbs*
> >
> > But that should be up on a site somewhere as a template for people to
use.
>
I'm going to.
PS please could teh clue-by-fours be handed out again, i'm suffering from
withdrawal, and you put it in your form.
Coyote Calhoun
1999 16:03:51 -0000 by a group of terrorists brandishing flamethrowers
and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Liam Slater
for an update...
> Jose L. Solano <jsola...@aol.comlink> wrote in message
> news:19991221011307...@ng-bh1.aol.com...
> > Coming Soon to an AFSH near you:
> >
> > ROBOTNIK'S BIG BREAK: THE CHEAP MiST!!
>
> Why won't you MiST Total Chaos?
>
Because you want us to!
It makes it feel like you're only continuing the story just so we'll MiST
it, and that's no fun!
Besides, it ain't THAT bad.
Coyote Calhoun
for an update...
> > > But that should be up on a site somewhere as a template for people to
> use.
> >
> > Liam, I believe that would be in your jurisdiction...
>
> I'm going to.
>
> PS please could teh clue-by-fours be handed out again, i'm suffering from
> withdrawal, and you put it in your form.
Fine...
[drives up in a Komatsu mega-dump truck and dumps 70 tons of woodchips on
Liam]
Oh, I forgot to mention I sorta processed 'em a little and... Liam? You
still alive in there?
[shrugs and drives off in the giant truck, running over Liam's car and
squashing it like a plastic toy in the process]
Liam Slater
Coyote Calhoun <coy...@dangerous-minds.completelooney> wrote in message
> Our top story tonight: alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog was overrun on Wed, 22 Dec
> and shouting insane ramblings. We now go to our correspondent Liam Slater
> for an update...
>
> > > > But that should be up on a site somewhere as a template for people
to
> > use.
> > >
> > > Liam, I believe that would be in your jurisdiction...
> >
> > I'm going to.
> >
> > PS please could teh clue-by-fours be handed out again, i'm suffering
from
> > withdrawal, and you put it in your form.
>
> Fine...
>
> [drives up in a Komatsu mega-dump truck and dumps 70 tons of woodchips on
> Liam]
>
> Oh, I forgot to mention I sorta processed 'em a little and... Liam? You
> still alive in there?
>
> [shrugs and drives off in the giant truck, running over Liam's car and
> squashing it like a plastic toy in the process]
*Some of the wood chips melt (ala Terminator 2) and reform into Liam
wielding a clue-by-four*
--
Liam Slater
lsg...@uk.dreamcast.com, li...@afsh.co.uk
SOS (Save our Sectoids) Hasbro has fired the X-Com Genesis team, the heart
and soul of X-Com, please sign the petition
http://www.davenet.co.uk/hasbro.html
Head of the AFSH Elite Council of Pointless.
Holder of the honoured Digitiser quotes.
Creator of AGX and self appointed maker of the heralded cheese toasties.
Maker of www.afsh.co.uk and the ultimate newbie guide.
NI!
Dean's third law of playground logic:
"If you say something bad about a member of the same sex, you get brutally
attacked."
Liam Slater
> >
> > Why won't you MiST Total Chaos?
> >
>
> Because you want us to!
>
> It makes it feel like you're only continuing the story just so we'll MiST
> it, and that's no fun!
>
> Besides, it ain't THAT bad.
I'm not continuing it so it can be MiSTed I just want to see how well you
cope with semi-good fanfics.