FANFIC: Sonic Fights Robotnik 3: Too Fast For The Naked Eye
SONIC FAN
All characters like Sonic and stuff, fetured in this
story are copyright of SEGA and Archie Comics. Except
for Packbell, Chris Petrucci and Vision, and others they
are copyrights of their respective authors. HOWEVER THEY
DO NOT APPEAR IN THIS STORY. Other copyrights like
Beavis and Butthead and Mountain Due and Greenday are
copyrights of other companies. THe author of this story
does not intend to imply ownership of anything or
anycharacters in the following story. This story may be
distributed for free but you can't sell it for money.
End of LEGAL STUFF----
SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK 3
Too Fast for The Naked Eye
By SONIC FAN
Another SWAT smashing action paked story from the master
of sonic fan fiction!!!
It was another day in Knothole not being without the
worry of Dr. Ivo Robontik. All the freedom fighters were
doing useful stuuff. Sally was orgazining the computor
records, Bunnie was reajusting her mechanical arm and
ROtor was dunking donuts in the lab. Meanwhile while
this stuff was being done Sonic was in his hut watching
TV. Then Tails walked in.
"Hi there Tails have a Mountain Due" said Sonic
"thanks sonic hey whats on TV."
"Everything on tv sucks thanks to robotnik. Since the TV
station is still down the only thing to watch is
robotniks channel" said sonic
{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Just then Rotor suddenly spilled coffee on the
cybersuit.
"oops" he said
{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sonic is watching TV.
Robotnik: Doo doo doo this is the robotnik channel and
it's time for the Robotnik show!
Snively and the SWAT bot orchastra play the Robotnik
Show theme song. Snively plays the sax.
Robotnik: Helloo! Wlecome to the show! Live from
Robotnropolis! So freedom fighters are like, lame.
SWAT bots: HA......HA.........HA
"Boo!" say sonic and Tails
Robotnik: We'll be right back after this commercial. Doo
doo doo doo doo dooo. Hello. Are you robotocizd? If not
there are people who can help. Just stop by robotropolis
and we'll robotocize you good. Doo doo doo I'm Dr. Ivo
Robotnik doo doo doo I'm a singin' my song because we're
back ooh doo doo doo doo.
Robotnik: Today our guest is Ken Penders.
Snively and the swats play music while Ken walks onstage
Robtnik: Hiya Ken!
Ken: Hello Mr. Docotor
Robotnik: Please, call me Ivo
Ken: ok Evo
Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: Ok FatO
Robotnik: Fok!!! just forget it!
Ken: Otay
Robotnik: So Ken what do you do for a job
Ken: Well I draw Sonic comics
Robotnik: really
Ken: because I hate sonic
Robotnik: Really? ME TOO!!!
Ken: And I want to kill Sally!
RobotniK: Really? ME TOO!!!
Ken: Mmm-hmmm thats right a-yup
Robotnik: So if you draw sonic comics....
Ken: ya
Robotnik: and you hate sonic...
Ken: ya
Robotnik: Wouldn't that be kind of a.....Walking
Contradiction?
Ken: In what way
Robotnik: Snively, wouldn't you agree that's it's a
walking contradiction
Snively: Well...uuhhh...I....
Robotnik: JUST SAY YES!!!!
Snivley: Um, ok, er um, ah, yes
Robotnik pulls out and electric guitar and snively plays
the bass some SWAT bot plays drums
They play Walking Contradiction by Greenday
Robotnik: DUNN DUUNN DUNNN WALKING CONTRADICTION!!!
Sonic says "Well that wasted some time. I wonder what
Roter is up to"
JUST THEN ROTOR FALLS THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE HUT!!!
Rotor "Sonic Its' an emergency!!!"
"What is it? Another SWAT missel?" says Sonic
"No!" said Rotor "Geoffry St. George is putting the
moves on Sally!"
"Ye gads!" said sonic "I'll be right out there kicking
his butt in a few minutes!"
"Hey sonic" mentioned Tails "Did you ever think that our
lives are like TV shows sometimes"
"Uhh whaddya mean?" sonic said
"Well you know sometimes we do stuff and it's like the
stuff on Tv and stuff" tails said
"Tails shut up. I don't know what the fock you're
talking about our life being tv or something now I gotta
JUICE!" sonic said then he ran out of the hut WHOOOOSH!
{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Knothole Villiage
SCRREEEEECHCHHHH!!! CRRAAAASSSHHHHH!!
sonic runs into a hut
"Ahhh Sally you are like the most beutiful apple"
Geoffry said
"You are so flattery" said Sally
Sonic climbed out of the junk pile
"Hold it G! Get your hands off her you dam dirty ape!"
sonic spat
"Oh well look at this. If it isn't the villiage
buffooon." Geoffrey said "How are you today villiage
buffoon? Felling stupid i thought so fa-ha ha ha"
"SHUT UP!!!" sonic said
"Oh touche, Sono. I am great, you are not, end of story"
Geoff said
"Oh yeah, well let's just figt about it, buttmunch."
sonic said
"Well ok we shall du-el for the love of fair lady
princess sally" Geoff said "In a gentlemanly fashion of
course. And of couse I will wi-"
Just then Sonic turned into a spin blade and cut Geoffry
in half!
"Oh my God! They killed Geoffrey!" said Rotor
"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
5 min. later
"Hey rotor" said Sonic "How's my cybersuit? Is the tune-
up done?"
Rotor said "Er, well I kind of spilled coffee on it so I
had to clean it. And instead of using Polymethalene
cleanser i used Polyzethelene cleanser"
"And that means..." said sonic, tapping his foot
"It don't work no more" said Rotor
"Oh well that's just not good. What will we do now. Do
you know how to fix it robor?"
"Hell no" said Rotor
"Well this is just peachee" sonic said
"Hey sonic my Uncle Bob used to have a cybersuit I bet
he can fix yours!" said Tails
"Way past cool bro!" said sonic "Where does he live?"
"Like, on the other side of mobius" tails replied
"FOCK!" said sonic "Well I guess we have to go there"
"Hey Sal" said Sonic "Me an Tails are going to find Bob
Prower"
SAlly said "Can you stop by the mall and pick up some
stuff"
"Stuff? well ok." sonic said
Sally gave sonic the shopping list. Then she moved close
to him and said
"Hey thanks for killing Geoffry St. George he was a real
dumbass. he kept like saying stupid stuff to me and
stuff."
"No prob Sal" said Sonic "I'm always glad to kill Geoff"
"Well like, get going now or something" said sally
"Ya ya hey tails get the hoverbikes!" sonic said
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
Mobius Garage less than 1 minute later
"Wow y'all they all is osme hoverbikes isn that a right
Antony?" Bunnie said
"Zee is le ooh la ola of zee bike hoovaire izznt ze
Sonique?" Antoinne said
Bunnie says "Y'all got th' sprokets in em. sprok'ts is
funny ya'll know some of em are round and some of em are
sqaure hecka y'all all ought'a know some of em arent
even sprokets at all!"
"Oui oui ze spookets is ze mose importante part ov ze
Hoo-veir-siay-coule" antoinne said
"Yeah I'll keep that in mind or something" sonic said
*they're stupid* sonic thought to himself
"Juciy peanut butter an jam on the hoverbikes HEY HO
LETS GO" said Tails revving the engine of his bike
Sonic jumped on a bike and started it.
KRAKA KRAKA BADOOOM!
The engines of both bikes blow up
"Oh ya'll suga" said Bunnie "I was a try'hin to fix tha
old ther old bikes but some of em was bolts and some of
em was screws and some of em was sprokets. Heck all
y'all some em weren't even things at all!"
"Ah oui i say BOONIE pass me ze sPoRokEt and she passe
me une sproket when i want UNE SPROOKATE! UNE SPROOKATE!
ise zat zo ard to oonderstande?" Antoinne said
"ok Tails, plan B. This sucks." sonic said
"Plan C, we walk, or in our case run and fly really
fast" sonic continued
So SOnic and Tails ran off into the sunset going in the
general direction of the Mobius Mall
{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Robotropolis, the Death Egg
"Mwahahahaha" said Robotnik "I own the only TV station
on Mobius now they have to watch MY SHOWS!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Grounder and Scratch were in front of the TV camera
Grounder shoots scratch with a laser gun
"Huhuhuhuhuh" said Grounder
"Heheheheheh" says Scratch. Then scratch beats grounder
with a computer terminal
"You idiots!" Robotnik said "Cut that out! Why don't you
do something useful, like kill people at the mall or
something"
"Cool" said grounder
"Heh heh heh heh yeah!" said scratch "cool!"
"Uhhh sir" said Snively, walking into the room
Robotnik walks in front of the TV camera and says
"Hello, I would like to make a public service
announcement. Snively is dumb. Thank you."
Everybody laughs except for snively who mutters "Ugly
old robofat"
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Mobius Mall
"let's see what we're supposed to get" sonic said,
looking at the list "Hmmm a dress, I guess we don't need
to get that since Geoffry is dead"
"Hey sonic wanna spend all the money at the arcade?"
said Tails
"Yeah" said sonic "Good idea, i hate shopping"
Scratch and Grounder are hiding behind a plant
"Hehehheh" said Scratch "Were we supposed to get like,
apples or something"
"No Buttwad" said Grounder as he loaded his grenade
launcher "we have to kill people and stuff"
{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
Arcade
Tails is playing pinball
Sonic sees the pinball machine and has a flashback
"AHHHHHH!!! NO! NOT PINBALL!" he screams and then falls
on the floor. On the way down he knocks over a few
arcade machines
{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
Internet Cafe
Sonic is reading the newsgroups and drinking a cafe
late.
alt.fan.sally-acorn
"Here's a message from Geoffry St. George"
From: stge...@knothole.com
Message Title: Hello Sally
Hello Sally I love you. What say we have some cybersex.
"Arg! I'll kill him!" says Sonic
Sonic goes back to the arcade to check on Tails
{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
Grounder and Scratch walk into the arcade both are
heavily armed.
Then sonic walks in "Yo tails what up?"
Grounder drones "Hegehog Priority 1 or something!"
"Heheh heh heh heh DIE!!!!" says Scratch
Sonic and Tails duck behind A pac man machine. Grounder
fires grenades at it blowing it up. Sonic runs and leaps
onto antoehr machine. Scratch fires the machine gun all
over the place.
Tails jumps on grounder and pulls his nose out and lets
it snap back
"Ow! huh huh!" said grounder "You die infeldel
Kitasune!"
Tails gets hit by grounders drill missle!
"ack i'm bleeding!" said Tails
Sonic spin dashes through an arcade machine and smashes
into scratch. Snic steals his gun and puts it to
Scratches head and pulls the trigger! KABLAMO!!!
"heh heh me dead" said Scratch
Grounder fires moregrenades. They miss sonic but blow up
arcade machines. Sonic gets hit in the head with a stray
joystick. He gets knocked down. Grounder rolls over to
him.
Then the voice from Furry Mortal Kombat III says "Finish
Him" sonic pulls out a power ring and dashes grounder
blowing him up into a kazillion peices.
"Game Over for them" said sonic
Sonic and Tails leave the mall but before they do they
get some food from Furry McDonald's and steal TP from
the bathrooms and TP the guy working a Furry Radio
Shack.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Sonic and Tails trek accross Mobius to find Bob Prower.
They have many exciting adventures but eventually they
reach a town.
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
6 months after they left Knothole Sonic and Tails arrive
at the town where Tails used to live
"I used to live here you know" said Tails "Bob's Trailer
is just over there....."
Just then a robot moves towards them. Followed by a spy
eye.
They spy eye has robotnik's face on the screen.
"HELLOOOOOO!" says Robotnik
"Yo Tubbanik I've seen enough of you on TV already"
sonic says
"Hah hah shut up Sonic. You see, I followed you here so
you could meet my newest bot. Meet TANK BOT mark II"
Robotnik said
The robot comes into view. It's Tank Bot only bigger,
better and more heavily armed
"BEEP BEEP KILL FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARRR BEEP BEEP BEEP"
says the bot
"Ok" says Sonic "Tails......run"
Tank Bot chases after sonic. It runs at Sonic's speed
sonic can hardly dodge all the lasers and missles flying
at him. Sonic runs up a wall. *this alwaysworks* he
thinks
But Tank Bot II doesn't fall for that trick! It fires a
missle at sonic which missle the blue blure by only an
inch. Sonic is running around Tails is flying around.
Then Tails catches a missle and throws it at the bot.
YOWZA! KABLAMO! TANK BOT 2 EXPOLDES!
"Another day another tank bot dead" said sonic
"we don't kill tank bot every day you know" said Tails
"Ya ya ya what" said sonic
The cameraman tells them to go to the next scene
{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Bob Prower's trailer
Tails knocks on the door "Hey uncle Bob we need your
help!"
Bob opens the door carrying a triple-barrel shotgun
"Come in ye, Welcome to my trailer"
"hi there" says Sonic "Are you like, Bob Marley"
"No" said Bob "Knuckles is like Bob Marley"
"You've never met him though" said sonic
"The author told me" said Bob
"Yo what up" I said
"Hey author" said sonic
"Hey how's it going" I said
"Past cool" said sonic
"See you later" I said
"Jam past cool alligator" said sonic
"Now getting back to the plot" says sonic "What do you
do around here"
"I make bombs" said Bob
"He used to be in the furry IRA" said Tails
"That could be useful we could use bombs" said sonic
"But" sonic said "What we need you for right now is to
fix the cybersuit"
"Yeah" said Tails "And fix our TV station too! You can
do that right Bob?"
"Fock ye" said Bob "I'm not some fixing machine"
"We got lotsa chili Dogs" said sonic
"And hotdogs on a stick?" said Bob
"Yeh" said sonic
"Well I'll do it then" Bob said
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
6 months later they all arrive back at Knothole. That
would mean they were gone for about a year.
"Sally, meet my uncle Bob Prower. Can he be a freedom
fighter?" Tails asked Sally
"Well, I dunno, he's kind of ugly" said sally
Just then a bullet swishes past Sally's head! Ken
Penders is at the top of the clock tower shooting at
Sally! Bob pulls out his shotgun and shoots ken Penders.
BLAM! "EYAH!" Ken falls off the tower
*thud*
"Hello chaps! Jolly good day isn't it!" said Geoffry St.
George
Bob shoots Geoffry right in the left eye, the bullet
goes throgh his head and hits the bulllseye on a swatbot
target
"Oh my God, they killed Geoffry!" said Rotor
"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
"But you see Sally" Tails continued "He's useful!"
"Well alright he can stay" Sally said
"Gee thanks bit--" bob said
"UNCLE BOB!!!" said Tails
"But he'd better learn some manners" said Sally "Or
he'll end up like PEZ boy did in the last story cuz I'll
shove a power ring down his throat!"
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
Rotor's Lab
Bob fineshed fixing the cybersuit. Sonic Tails and Rotor
watched TV.
Robotnik: Doo doo doo It's The Robotnik With A Bucket on
His Head and Snivley With a Mop on his Head Show! Hello
I'm Robotnik and I have a bucket on my head! doo doo doo
bucket head doo doo doo doo doo Oh look here's Snively!
Say Hi snively!
Snivley:Er, yes, um I am Snivley. And I have a mop on my
head....a-doo doo doo...doo
Robotnik: Weeee-ha! woo woo woo! <Robotnik plays drums
on his head>
Bob shot the TV. "Buncha idyuts" he said
"Hey I was watchin' that!" said Sonic
But Bob had already left
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
10 seconds later
"All right Tails" said Sonic "Where would Bob have
gone?"
"Well If i know my uncle, and I do know my uncle, I say
if he hated that show he was going to kill the cast of
it namely Snivley and Robotnik" Tails said
"He'll be robotocized!" said SOnic "Let's get the other
freedom fighters and go save him!"
{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
Robotropolis, Death Egg
After many action packed suspenseful battles the freedom
fighter ended up in Robotnik's bathroom.
"Ok gang" said Sally "Here's the plan. This is Big-Fat-
Chubby-nik's personal bathroom so the control room is
nearby. So we go there."
But as luck would have it robotnik walked in.
"Oh what's this" said Robotnik "Freedom Fighters in my
bathroom. Well what a good way to test my new invention!
Oh MARIO-bot!"
clang clang clang
"Hey Pizanos I am-a Super MArio Bot!" said MARIObot
"MArio, Kill them" Robotnik said
"I do-a whata you-a tella me to do-a cause a-you the big
liguine" MAriobot said
MARIObot shoved all the freedom fighters, with the lone
exception of Sonic, into the large toilet. They wouldn't
flush so mario had to shove them down the toilet with
his plunger. Down they went into the septic tank.
Then Sonic, wearing the cybersuit, stomped on Mariobot's
head, crushing him.
"What a walking contradiction!" Robotnik said
He then proceeded to sing walking contradiction by
Greenday
After that some SWATbots took sonic prisoner and took
him to the control room
{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
Robotropolis septic tank
"Eww this stinks" said Rotor
"Ah oui es ees STEEEEEENNNNNNKKKKKKKKAAAAYYYYYYY"
Antoinne anoyyingly said "PA-HEW-PHEEEWWW-AHEEEWWWWWW--
"SHUTUP!" said Sally
"Well wouldya all look at that what I found in the doody
it's Geoffry St. George's dead body!" said Bunnie
"Oh my God! They already killed Geoffry!" said Rotor
"THOSE BASTARDS!" said Tails
"Heh, I gave him a grave at sea or something" smiled
sally "You know like you do with dead fish, flush them
or something, well he smelled like fish, anyways, i'll
just stop talking because i found a way out, a way out
well lets go then shall we come on i don't have all day
hup two three four lets go march march...."
{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Death Egg control room
Robotnik: Ha hah....welcome to the Sonic Gets Killed
Show, the show where sonic gets killed. I'm your host
Ivo Robotnik.
<swat bots clap>
Sonic is tied to a SWAT missle
"Wow I haven't seen one of these in a while" Sonic said
Robotnik: And here is the suit that I confiscated from
the hedgehog. Woo, classy suit. Who are you the suitman.
Well looke here It's suithog sonic. Always wering a
suit, what no tie don't make me laugh! ha...ha.....HA!
Bob Prower blasts down the door with his shotgun!
Sonic: Bob!
Bob shoots robotnik in the metal arm
Robotnik: Ow! ARRRGgg!!!
Bob frees Sonic
Robotnik turns his arm into a gun and shoots at them
Robotnik: Snivley Grounder Scratch KILL THAT HEDGEHOG
AND THAT FOX!!!!
Grounder: Huh
BLAM
Grounder: uuhhhhh <KABOOOMMM!!!>
Scratch: Heh heh <lights fuse on a bomb>
Bob shoots the bomb
KABLAM
Scratch: heh dead
Snivley: Um, I'll just be going now
Bob shoots Snivley, Snivley goes flying thorugh a glass
window and falls down from the top of the death egg
*splat*
Sonic: It's wheel of fortune! I'm Pat Sajack the
hedgehog and the category is DEAD FAT GUYS! I'd like to
buy an R for YOU BUTTNIK!
Sonic spins
Robotnik dodges and shoots sonic
Sonic: BR-GAAAK! oof
Bob: That ain't nice
Bob shoots Robotnik
Robotnik: Ow....I'm dead! no!
The rest of the freedom fighters arrive
"Hey we're on TV!" said Sonic
"Hi Mom!" said Rotor
"Uhh rotor your Mom's robotocized" said Sonic
"waah" said Rotor
"Oh by the way" said Bob "We better skeedaddle cuz I put
a penny in the reactor core as a joke and it's gonna
essplode any time now"
KKKKAAAAAABBOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! ROBOTROPOLIS BLOWS UP!
Luckily Sonic and the Freedom Fighters escaped with time
to spare.
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Mobius TV Station
Bob is fixing the TV antenna
"hey stupid" bob said to tails "pass me a hammer"
Tails threw a hammer at Bob.
BoNk! "Ouch!" said bob as the hammer hit him in the
head. Then the antenna fell over.
"That's the third time today" said Sonic
"Get this offa me ya lazy git" said Bob trapped under
the antenna. Tails helped him get out.
"Oh sonic" said Sally "I read your email and, you
know......"
<Sonic> cybersex? :)
<Sally> Oh sonic ;)
"TAILS YA FRICKIN IDIOT STOP THROWING THOSE AT MY HEAD,
WHAT ARE YA AIMING FOR IT OR SOMETHING?" yelled Bob
"Yeah" said Tails
"Why ya little" said Bob
{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
Knotohole Villige
Bob is leaving the freedom fighters
" I must leave now" said bob
"Will we see you again?" said Tails
"I focking hope not" said Bob
Then he left and Sonic and Tails went to watch TV.
"Well now the TV stations back up and we won't have to
watch Robot Melrose Place anymore" said SOnic
"Cool, Furry South Park is on" said Tails
"Remember when I was telling you how life was like TV?"
Tails said
"Yep" said Sonic
Geoffrey St. George was standing by the window of the
hut
Tails pulled out a gun and shot geoffrey. Rotor stopped
whatever he was doing and broke down the door of sonic's
hut in emergency.
"Oh my God! <pant pnat> i had to go all the way across
the villiage to get here <pant pant> They Killed
Geoffrey!" said Rotor
"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
Furry Stan: Oh my God they Killed kenny the rabbit!
Furry Kyle: You bastards!
"Oh now I get it!" said Sonic
THE END
In Robotropolis Robotnik pulled himself out of a pile of
scrap metal
"Woah." said Robotnik "It's a good thing I wasn't really
dead, or I'd be dead now"
"yes sir, very good sir" said Snivley
"But tommorrow is another day" said Robotnik "Another
chance to kill that hedgehog!"
Howie T. Cat
> Other copyrights like
> Beavis and Butthead and Mountain Due and Greenday are
> copyrights of other companies.
Just for future reference, you spelled "Mountain Dew" wrong.
Howie T. Cat, Mountain Dew Junkie
http://www.yerf.com/furnjaso/
If I know this newsgroup well enough, there should be some more MSTs
coming soon...
CMJ
The story was okay, but you made it a little too Mario-ish. Like you
only made Sonic be the hero, and you didn't let the other FF's get a
chance to fight Robotnik. I did like the bit about Ken Penders being the
villain. But you shouldn't have put Snively in it! Do you like him or
something?
What I would've done if I were you, I for one would've excluded Snively,
and made Sonic, Tails, and the rest work as a team to be superheroes, like
they did in the comics and cartoons. Just a little friendly advice. :)
Joya Nappo
fo...@concentric.net
Skin The Sun, Fall Asleep, Whisk Away, Soul is Cheap!
-Kurt Cobain!
(1967-1994)
(LEad singer of Nirvana!)
Fred012345
Read it again:
==========
==========
Fred E. L.
==========
Visit my Sonic the Hedgehog Webpage:
http://members.aol.com/FredL2000
==========
E-mail me at:
Fred0...@aol.com
==========
==========
Zuckuss199
>for Packbell, Chris Petrucci and Vision, and others they
>are copyrights of their respective authors. HOWEVER THEY
>DO NOT APPEAR IN THIS STORY
Then..?
>SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK 3
>Too Fast for The Naked Eye
>
>By SONIC FAN
>
>Another SWAT smashing action paked story from the master
>of sonic fan fiction!!!
hahahahahahahaha-no.>It was another day in Knothole not being without the
>worry of Dr. Ivo Robontik
Meaning they are not not worried (Dailiy Show reference)
>All the freedom fighters were
>doing useful stuuff. Sally was orgazining the computor
>records
she was doing WHAT to the computer records?!
>ROtor was dunking donuts in the lab.
Usefullness..?
>Meanwhile while
>this stuff was being done Sonic was in his hut watching
>TV. Then Tails walked in.
>"Hi there Tails have a Mountain Due" said Sonic
>"thanks sonic hey whats on TV."
Sonic: none of your business you little freak get out of my house
>"Everything on tv sucks thanks to robotnik. Since the TV
>station is still down the only thing to watch is
>robotniks channel" said sonic
If that channel sucks why watch it?
>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>
>Just then Rotor suddenly spilled coffee on the
>cybersuit.
>"oops" he said
Nelson: Ha Ha!
Cybersuit..is that what you use for Cyber sex?
>Sonic is watching TV.
>
>Robotnik: Doo doo doo this is the robotnik channel and
>it's time for the Robotnik show!
>Snively and the SWAT bot orchastra play the Robotnik
>Show theme song. Snively plays the sax.
A sax in an orchestra... really..
>Robotnik: Helloo! Wlecome to the show! Live from
>Robotnropolis! So freedom fighters are like, lame.
>SWAT bots: HA......HA.........HA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS SO FUNNY!!!!!
since when did Robotnik become a like, surfer and junk?
>"Boo!" say sonic and Tails
>
>Robotnik: We'll be right back after this commercial. Doo
>doo doo doo doo dooo. Hello. Are you robotocizd? If not
>there are people who can help. Just stop by robotropolis
>and we'll robotocize you good.
No, I'd like some Carbon Freezing instead so I can find out if it really does
make me blind when I'm released.
>Doo doo doo I'm Dr. Ivo
>Robotnik doo doo doo I'm a singin' my song because we're
>back ooh doo doo doo doo.
>Robotnik: Today our guest is Ken Penders.
Ok, Sonic Fan enough with Penders
>Snively and the swats play music while Ken walks onstage
>Robtnik: Hiya Ken!
>Ken: Hello Mr. Docotor
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (sorry still laughing at that FF's are lame joke!!)
>Robotnik: Please, call me Ivo
>Ken: ok Evo
>Robotnik: IVO!
>Ken: Ok FatO
>Robotnik: Fok!!! just forget it!
Fok: Forgotten, sir.
>Ken: Otay
>Robotnik: So Ken what do you do for a job
>Ken: Well I draw Sonic comics
>Robotnik: really
>Ken: because I hate sonic
ok then..>Robotnik: Really? ME TOO!!!
>Ken: And I want to kill Sally!
>RobotniK: Really? ME TOO!!!
>Ken: Mmm-hmmm thats right a-yup
>Robotnik: So if you draw sonic comics....
>Ken: ya
>Robotnik: and you hate sonic...
>Ken: ya
>Robotnik: Wouldn't that be kind of a.....Walking
>Contradiction?
Ken: Well yes it would Jelly Belly
>Ken: In what way
>Robotnik: Snively, wouldn't you agree that's it's a
>walking contradiction
>Snively: Well...uuhhh...I....
>Robotnik: JUST SAY YES!!!!
Snively: NO!! You've taunted me long enough you meanie!!! :::Snively punches
Ivo:::
Robotnik: Hehehehehehe STOP IT!
>Snivley: Um, ok, er um, ah, yes
>Robotnik pulls out and electric guitar and snively plays
>the bass some SWAT bot plays drums
Ok then...
>They play Walking Contradiction by Greenday
NO MORE GREENDAY THEY SUCK
>Robotnik: DUNN DUUNN DUNNN WALKING CONTRADICTION!!!
>Sonic says "Well that wasted some time. I wonder what
>Roter is up to"
>JUST THEN ROTOR FALLS THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE HUT!!!
Rotor: Sorry that last doughnut was really saturated with gas
Sonic: Meaning?
Rotor: I farted
>Rotor "Sonic Its' an emergency!!!"
>"What is it? Another SWAT missel?" says Sonic
Rotor: NO!! There's a wrench stuck up my butt!!!
>"No!" said Rotor "Geoffry St. George is putting the
>moves on Sally!"
>"Ye gads!" said sonic "I'll be right out there kicking
>his butt in a few minutes!"
Geoffrey: AAAAAAAAH
Sonic: I WILL KCI YOUR BUTT
Geoffrey: No you wont
SOnic: Yes I will
Geoffrey: No you wont
Sonic: Yes I will
>"Hey sonic" mentioned Tails "Did you ever think that our
>lives are like TV shows sometimes"
Sonic: Yeah and it has my name on it!! TAH-DAH!!! :::shows off the logo:::
>"Uhh whaddya mean?" sonic said
Tails: Oh, go F*ck yourself!! (MAD TV reference)
>"Well you know sometimes we do stuff and it's like the
>stuff on Tv and stuff" tails said
>"Tails shut up. I don't know what the fock you're
>talking about our life being tv or something now I gotta
>JUICE!"
Tails: Can I have some!!
Sonic: No, Tails thats disgusting
>sonic said then he ran out of the hut WHOOOOSH!
>
>
Whoooosh the Hutt and his lackeys Stuuff, Boushh nd Wooof
>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Knothole Villiage
>
>SCRREEEEECHCHHHH!!! CRRAAAASSSHHHHH!!
Sonic spontaneously conbusted (sp?)
>sonic runs into a hut
>"Ahhh Sally you are like the most beutiful apple"
>Geoffry said
Geoffrey: With a worm in it!!
>"You are so flattery" said Sally
>Sonic climbed out of the junk pile
So he's hitting on her at a junk yard?
Sonic: Hey whats worse than fining a worm in your apple?
Geoffrey: Finding half a worm thats not funny!!
>"Hold it G! Get your hands off her you dam dirty ape!"
in his spare time, Geoffrey dresses like an ape and rolls around in dirt near
beaver dams.
>sonic spat
>"Oh well look at this. If it isn't the villiage
>buffooon.
Whoooosh the Hutt and his lackeys Boushh, Stuuff and Wooof just captured
buffooon.>." Geoffrey said "How are you today villiage
>buffoon? Felling stupid i thought so fa-ha ha ha"
Sonic: I didnt say anything
>"SHUT UP!!!" sonic said
>"Oh touche, Sono. I am great, you are not, end of story"
>Geoff said
This really doesnt sound like Geoffrey, more like Max Acorn
>"Oh yeah, well let's just figt about it, buttmunch."
is Sonicfan forever stuck in the Beavis and Butthead era or what?
>sonic said
>"Well ok we shall du-el for the love of fair lady
>princess sally"
Sally: Screw you . I've got a date with king Acorn!!
Sonic and Geoffrey: OH NASTY!!!
they both figure they dsont want her anymore and run
Sally: Ok, their gone, you can come out computer records!!
Sally begins "orgazinizing" the computer records
>Geoff said "In a gentlemanly fashion of
>course. And of couse I will wi-"
>Just then Sonic turned into a spin blade and cut Geoffry
>in half!
Geoffrey: Cheater!!! I'm telling!!
>"Oh my God! They killed Geoffrey!" said Rotor
>"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
Sonic: AAAH!!!Go away i was about to make sweet love to Sally!!
Sonic sings a Chef song..
>{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>5 min. later
>
>"Hey rotor" said Sonic "How's my cybersuit? Is the tune-
>up done?"
BEcause I need it or else the cybersex wont count!!!
>Rotor said "Er, well I kind of spilled coffee on it so I
>had to clean it. And instead of using Polymethalene
>cleanser i used Polyzethelene cleanser"
huh?
>"And that means..." said sonic, tapping his foot
>"It don't work no more" said Rotor
Sonic slaps him for his use of bad grammer
>"Oh well that's just not good. What will we do now. Do
>you know how to fix it robor?"
Rotor: stop calling em that!!!
>"Hell no" said Rotor
>"Well this is just peachee" sonic said
Peachee is Whoooosh the hutt's newest guard.
>"Hey sonic my Uncle Bob used to have a cybersuit I bet
>he can fix yours!" said Tails
Terminator: Uncle Bob?
>"Way past cool bro!" said sonic "Where does he live?"
oops, I just remembered I shot him!!
>"Like, on the other side of mobius" tails replied
>"FOCK!"
Fock: What do you want?!
>said sonic "Well I guess we have to go there"
David: No you dont
Austin: Yes he does
Jose: Hey I thought I got rid of you !!
>"Hey Sal" said Sonic "Me an Tails are going to find Bob
>Prower"
David: Bob Prower is actually Bob Dole in hiding
Austin: Hiding from his past as a Prosti-
David: Austin, no!>SAlly said "Can you stop by the mall and pick up some
>stuff"
SAlly is Sally's evil clone!! Dont trust her Sonic!!
>"Stuff? well ok." sonic said
Austin: (In Sonic voice) I guess the condo-
David: Austin no!!
>Sally gave sonic the shopping list. Then she moved close
>to him and said
>"Hey thanks for killing Geoffry St. George he was a real
>dumbass.
David: Austin, stop that!!
Austin: Stoff Watt?!
David: Austin no!!!
David proceeds to kick Austin's ass
Austin: OW! AAAH! OW! OW THAT HURTS!!
>he kept like saying stupid stuff to me and
>stuff."
Sonic: So do I!!
Sally: Then commit suicide..for me..
Sonic: ok...::Sonic kills himself:::
>"No prob Sal" said Sonic "I'm always glad to kill Geoff"
So it happens every week
"Next time on Sonic Park-
Robotnik Takes over
Tails goes into puberty
and Geoffrey DIES"
>"Well like, get going now or something" said sally
David: SonicFan's version of them doesnt sound right
Jamie: It's not like something I'd say and stuff
David: No comment
>"Ya ya hey tails get the hoverbikes!" sonic said
Greed o doesn't like you stealing his Hoverbikes!!
Oota Goota Sonic?
Sonic: Yeah..to the store
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Mobius Garage less than 1 minute later
>
>
>"Wow y'all they all is osme hoverbikes isn that a right
>Antony?" Bunnie said
>"Zee is le ooh la ola of zee bike hoovaire izznt ze
>Sonique?" Antoinne said
David: What?!
>Bunnie says "Y'all got th' sprokets in em. sprok'ts is
David: Ok, this is getting really f*cked up...
>funny ya'll know some of em are round and some of em are
>sqaure hecka y'all all ought'a know some of em arent
>even sprokets at all!"
Jamie: Ditz
>"Oui oui ze spookets is ze mose importante part ov ze
>Hoo-veir-siay-coule" antoinne said
Austin: Haiki les goika no ma-les screwhappi
David: Austin stopo that
>"Yeah I'll keep that in mind or something" sonic said
>*they're stupid* sonic thought to himself
David: Sonic's gained slight intelligence
Scott: 3.5 IQ
David: Where'd you come from
Scott: my house. I've been here the whole time.
David..ok...
>"Juciy peanut butter an jam on the hoverbikes
????????????!!!!!!!!
>HEY HO
Jamie: WHAT DID HE CALL ME?!
>LETS GO" said Tails revving the engine of his bike
>Sonic jumped on a bike and started it.
>KRAKA KRAKA BADOOOM!
Badooom dances for the pleasure of Whoooosh the Hutt and his lackeys Boushh,
Wooof and Stuuff. Buffooon watches from his cell
>The engines of both bikes blow up
>"Oh ya'll suga" said Bunnie "I was a try'hin to fix tha
>old ther old bikes but some of em was bolts and some of
>em was screws and some of em was sprokets. Heck all
>y'all some em weren't even things at all!"
Jamie: Ditz
>"Ah oui i say BOONIE pass me ze sPoRokEt and she passe
>me une sproket when i want UNE SPROOKATE! UNE SPROOKATE!
>ise zat zo ard to oonderstande?"
???????!!!!
>Antoinne said
>"ok Tails, plan B. This sucks." sonic said
>"Plan C, we walk, or in our case run and fly really
>fast" sonic continued
>So SOnic and Tails ran off into the sunset going in the
>general direction of the Mobius Mall
>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Robotropolis, the Death Egg
>
>
David: The Death Egg was destroyed wehn Sonic fired the proton torpedoes down
the exhaust port .
Scott. That was the Death STAR
>"Mwahahahaha" said Robotnik "I own the only TV station
>on Mobius now they have to watch MY SHOWS!
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
David: Oooh..now he can control the universe!!
>Grounder and Scratch were in front of the TV camera
>Grounder shoots scratch with a laser gun
>"Huhuhuhuhuh" said Grounder
>"Heheheheheh" says Scratch. Then scratch beats grounder
>with a computer terminal
Austin: Thsi reminds me..what was Sally doing to the computer ecords?
David: dont tell him.
Scott: Ok
>"You idiots!" Robotnik said "Cut that out! Why don't you
>do something useful, like kill people at the mall or
>something"
Jamie:Coincidence? I think not
>"Cool" said grounder
>"Heh heh heh heh yeah!" said scratch "cool!"
>"Uhhh sir" said Snively, walking into the room
>Robotnik walks in front of the TV camera and says
>"Hello, I would like to make a public service
>announcement. Snively is dumb. Thank you."
Austin: Snively is also gay
David: Dammit Austin
:::punches Austin:::
>Everybody laughs except for snively who mutters "Ugly
>old robofat"
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Mobius Mall
>
>
David: Has been destroyed
>"let's see what we're supposed to get" sonic said,
>looking at the list "Hmmm a dress, I guess we don't need
>to get that since Geoffry is dead"
>"Hey sonic wanna spend all the money at the arcade?"
>said Tails
>"Yeah" said sonic "Good idea, i hate shopping"
Scott: really...
you know Arcade games work because a small computer is installed itno a
large box-like structure with a screen and controls which
David: Scott no one cares
>Scratch and Grounder are hiding behind a plant
>"Hehehheh" said Scratch "Were we supposed to get like,
>apples or something"
>"No Buttwad" said Grounder as he loaded his grenade
>launcher "we have to kill people and stuff"
>
>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Arcade
Has been destroyed
>Tails is playing pinball
>Sonic sees the pinball machine and has a flashback
>"AHHHHHH!!! NO! NOT PINBALL!" he screams and then falls
>on the floor. On the way down he knocks over a few
>arcade machines
Jamie: Lets review here: He gets a bad memory and falls causing a few arcade
machines to fall?
Austin: Shutup I liked it
David: Austin you like Teletubbies
Austin: SO?!
>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Internet Cafe
>
>Sonic is reading the newsgroups and drinking a cafe
>late.
>alt.fan.sally-acorn
>"Here's a message from Geoffry St. George"
??! A new character..?
>From: stge...@knothole.com
>Message Title: Hello Sally
>Hello Sally I love you. What say we have some cybersex.
David: Hey thats what those cybersuits are for!!
>"Arg! I'll kill him!" says Sonic
>Sonic goes back to the arcade to check on Tails
Scott: I thought he fell over
Austin:>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
>Grounder and Scratch walk into the arcade both are
>heavily armed.
Austin: My arms are havy
>Then sonic walks in "Yo tails what up?"
>Grounder drones "Hegehog Priority 1 or something!"
>"Heheh heh heh heh DIE!!!!" says Scratch
>Sonic and Tails duck behind A pac man machine. Grounder
>fires grenades at it blowing it up.
Austin: DAMMIT!!! I WAS GOING TO PLAY THAT!!!
>Sonic runs and leaps
>onto antoehr machine. Scratch fires the machine gun all
>over the place.
>Tails jumps on grounder and pulls his nose out and lets
>it snap back
>"Ow! huh huh!" said grounder "You die infeldel
>Kitasune!"
Austin: David, what does that mean?
David: I dunno
evyone looks to Scott
Scott: What?
>Tails gets hit by grounders drill missle!
>"ack i'm bleeding!" said Tails
>Sonic spin dashes through an arcade machine and smashes
>into scratch. Snic steals his gun and puts it to
>Scratches head and pulls the trigger! KABLAMO!!!
Sonci: Aww, man how am i going to get those oil stains out?
Austin: Use...Cu-
David: Thats it!!
David pulls out a Bazooka and blows Austin's head off
>"heh heh me dead" said Scratch
>Grounder fires moregrenades. They miss sonic but blow up
>arcade machines. Sonic gets hit in the head with a stray
>joystick. He gets knocked down. Grounder rolls over to
>him.
Grounder: Hey, hows about we..
David: Oh god they've turned into Austin!!!
Sonic; HAHAHAHAHA
>Then the voice from Furry Mortal Kombat III says "Finish
>Him" sonic pulls out a power ring and dashes grounder
>blowing him up into a kazillion peices.
>"Game Over for them" said sonic
>Sonic and Tails leave the mall but before they do they
>get some food from Furry McDonald's and steal TP from
>the bathrooms and TP the guy working a Furry Radio
>Shack.
David: Whats TP? Oh Toilet Paper
Austin: I am Cornholio!!
David: Oh you're alive. Just don't do anything stupid.
>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Sonic and Tails trek accross Mobius to find Bob Prower.
>They have many exciting adventures but eventually they
>reach a town.
David: WOW!! SUCH DETAIL!!
Jamie: Mach may sue for that
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>6 months after they left Knothole Sonic and Tails arrive
>at the town where Tails used to live
>"I used to live here you know" said Tails
Sonic: Well you're going to die here, you know. Convenient?
>"Bob's Trailer
>is just over there....."
>Just then a robot moves towards them. Followed by a spy
>eye.
>They spy eye has robotnik's face on the screen.
>"HELLOOOOOO!" says Robotnik
HELLOOOOOOOO is Whoooosh the Hutt's answer to the Rancor
>"Yo Tubbanik I've seen enough of you on TV already"
>sonic says
>"Hah hah shut up Sonic. You see, I followed you here so
>you could meet my newest bot. Meet TANK BOT mark II"
David; He got that from Earthbound
>Robotnik said
>The robot comes into view. It's Tank Bot only bigger,
>better and more heavily armed
Jamie: But is it faster?
>"BEEP BEEP KILL FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARRR BEEP BEEP BEEP"
>says the bot
>"Ok" says Sonic "Tails......run"
>Tank Bot chases after sonic. It runs at Sonic's speed
Jamie: Not again..
>sonic can hardly dodge all the lasers and missles flying
>at him. Sonic runs up a wall. *this alwaysworks* he
>thinks
>But Tank Bot II doesn't fall for that trick! It fires a
>missle at sonic which missle the blue blure by only an
>inch. Sonic is running around Tails is flying around.
David: Their drunk like I was
Jamie: Dont remind me of last night
Scott: What happened last night..?
David and Jamie: umm...
>Then Tails catches a missle and throws it at the bot.
>YOWZA! KABLAMO! TANK BOT 2 EXPOLDES!
>"Another day another tank bot dead" said sonic
>"we don't kill tank bot every day you know" said Tails
>"Ya ya ya what" said sonic
>The cameraman tells them to go to the next scene
David: The Cameraman suddenly blows up!!
Scott: No, seriously what ahppended last night?
Austin:>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>
>Tails knocks on the door "Hey uncle Bob we need your
>help!"
>Bob opens the door carrying a triple-barrel shotgun
>"Come in ye, Welcome to my trailer"
>"hi there" says Sonic "Are you like, Bob Marley"
>"No" said Bob "Knuckles is like Bob Marley"
>"You've never met him though" said sonic
>"The author told me" said Bob
David: I am your father
Jamie: The alcohol is still affecting you?
Scott: Come on, guys just tell me!!
>"Yo what up" I said
David: Who's I?
Austin: I am I.
>"Hey author" said sonic
>"Hey how's it going" I said
>"Past cool" said sonic
>"See you later" I said
>"Jam past cool alligator" said sonic
Austin: They mentoned Edgar.
Scott: JUST TELL ME!!!!
>"Now getting back to the plot" says sonic "What do you
>do around here"
>"I make bombs" said Bob
>"He used to be in the furry IRA" said Tails
David: I'm a furry.
Austin: Im not really furry but I think I count
Jamie: Im furry
Scott: I'm furry now JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENDED LAST NIGHT!!!
>"That could be useful we could use bombs" said sonic
>"But" sonic said "What we need you for right now is to
>fix the cybersuit"
>"Yeah" said Tails "And fix our TV station too! You can
>do that right Bob?"
>"Fock ye" said Bob "I'm not some fixing
Jamie: That means "Fuck you" in olde English
>machine"
>"We got lotsa chili Dogs" said sonic
>"And hotdogs on a stick?" said Bob
>"Yeh" said sonic
>"Well I'll do it then" Bob said
Austin: I'd do it if he bought me a Po doll
David: Who's Po?
Austin: My favorite Teletubbie
David: Oh god...
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>6 months later they all arrive back at Knothole. That
>would mean they were gone for about a year.
>"Sally, meet my uncle Bob Prower. Can he be a freedom
>fighter?" Tails asked Sally
>"Well, I dunno, he's kind of ugly" said sally
Jamie: PREJEDICE!!!!
>Just then a bullet swishes past Sally's head! Ken
>Penders is at the top of the clock tower shooting at
>Sally! Bob pulls out his shotgun and shoots ken Penders.
>BLAM! "EYAH!" Ken falls off the tower
>*thud*
>"Hello chaps! Jolly good day isn't it!" said
>Just then a bullet swishes past Sally's head! Ken
>Penders is at the top of the clock tower shooting at
>Sally! Bob pulls out his shotgun and shoots ken Penders.
>BLAM! "EYAH!" Ken falls off the tower
>*thud*
>"Hello chaps! Jolly good day isn't it!" said
>Just then a bullet swishes past Sally's head! Ken
>Penders is at the top of the clock tower shooting at
>Sally! Bob pulls out his shotgun and shoots ken Penders.
>BLAM! "EYAH!" Ken falls off the tower
>*thud*
>"Hello chaps! Jolly good day isn't it!" said
David: Hey Scott, why did it quote 3 times?
Scott: I'll ell you if you tell me what happened last night
>Geoffry St.
>George
>Bob shoots Geoffry right in the left eye, the bullet
>goes throgh his head and hits the bulllseye on a swatbot
>target
>"Oh my God, they killed Geoffry!" said Rotor
>"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
David: Again?
Jose: You weren't around the first time
David: What kind of a name is Jose?
Austin: Whore-Se
Jose punches Austin
>"But you see Sally" Tails continued "He's useful!"
>"Well alright he can stay" Sally said
>"Gee thanks bit--" bob said
>"UNCLE BOB!!!" said Tails
>"But he'd better learn some manners" said Sally "Or
>he'll end up like PEZ boy did in the last story cuz I'll
>shove a power ring down his throat!"
David: Pez tastes like crap!!
Jamie: I like it
Austin: The dipnsoador is pretty cool
David: Dispenser, Austin
Austin: Whatever
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Rotor's Lab
>
>Bob fineshed fixing the cybersuit. Sonic Tails and Rotor
>watched TV.
>
>
>Robotnik: Doo doo doo It's The Robotnik With A Bucket on
>His Head and Snivley With a Mop on his Head Show! Hello
Jamie: I dont get it
>I'm Robotnik and I have a bucket on my head! doo doo doo
>bucket head doo doo doo doo doo Oh look here's Snively!
>Say Hi snively!
>Snivley:Er, yes, um I am Snivley. And I have a mop on my
>head....a-doo doo doo...doo
>Robotnik: Weeee-ha! woo woo woo! <Robotnik plays drums
>on his head>
Austin: Robotnik's gayDavid: Austin, for the first time since I met you 12
years ago i agree
Jose: That makes me think.. If you 2 hate each other why are you freinds
David: He's pretty cool sometimes I guess...
Jamie: Yeah but he's too nosy
Austin: Oh what ahppened last night? That was cool
Scott: Oh,Austin's in on this too? You can tell a braindead Armadillo but not
ME?!
>Bob shot the TV. "Buncha idyuts" he said
>"Hey I was watchin' that!" said Sonic
>But Bob had already left
>
>
Jamie:Bob's pretty smart
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
>10 seconds later
>"All right Tails" said Sonic "Where would Bob have
>gone?"
>"Well If i know my uncle, and I do know my uncle, I say
>if he hated that show he was going to kill the cast of
>it namely Snivley and Robotnik" Tails said
>"He'll be robotocized!" said SOnic "Let's get the other
>freedom fighters and go save him!"
David: Why are they saving him?
Jamie: To fix the Cybersuit
Davd:iWhy do they need a cybersuit?
Austin: To have cybersex
>{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Robotropolis, Death Egg
>
>After many action packed suspenseful battles the freedom
>fighter ended up in Robotnik's bathroom.
All 3 (except Scott): Umm..
Scott: Well, yeah after many battle it's only natural to have to use the
bathroom.
>"Ok gang" said Sally "Here's the plan. This is Big-Fat-
>Chubby-nik's personal bathroom so the control room is
>nearby. So we go there."
Jamie: His bathroom IS the control room.
Austin: Thats what he does when he's taking a dump
>But as luck would have it robotnik walked in.
>"Oh what's this" said Robotnik "Freedom Fighters in my
>bathroom. Well what a good way to test my new invention!
>Oh MARIO-bot!"
David: Why is Mario-Bot in his bathroom?
>clang clang clang
>"Hey Pizanos I am-a Super MArio Bot!" said MARIObot
>"MArio, Kill them" Robotnik said
>"I do-a whata you-a tella me to do-a cause a-you the big
>liguine" MAriobot said
>MARIObot shoved all the freedom fighters, with the lone
>exception of Sonic, into the large toilet. They wouldn't
>flush so mario had to shove them down the toilet with
>his plunger. Down they went into the septic
>tank.
David: Im not sure but I think the sceptic tank is he little tank at the top of
the toilet
>Then Sonic, wearing the cybersuit, stomped on Mariobot's
>head, crushing him.
>"What a walking contradiction!" Robotnik said
>He then proceeded to sing walking contradiction by
>Greenday
>After that some SWATbots took sonic prisoner and took
>him to the control room
David: They succeeded!!
Austin:>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
>Robotropolis septic tank
>
>"Eww this stinks" said Rotor
>"Ah oui es ees STEEEEEENNNNNNKKKKKKKKAAAAYYYYYYY"
>Antoinne anoyyingly said "PA-HEW-PHEEEWWW-AHEEEWWWWWW--
>"SHUTUP!" said Sally
>"Well wouldya all look at that what I found in the doody
>it's Geoffry St. George's dead body!" said
Jamie: Ok, what was the point of Geoffrey St. George?
>Bunnie
>"Oh my God! They already killed Geoffry!" said Rotor
>"THOSE BASTARDS!" said Tails
>"Heh, I gave him a grave at sea or something" smiled
>sally "You know like you do with dead fish, flush them
>or something, well he smelled like fish, anyways, i'll
>just stop talking because i found a way out, a way out
>well lets go then shall we come on i don't have all day
David: Sally's being a b*tch
>hup two three four lets go march march...."
>
>
Austin: Hump WHAT?!
David; It's HUT 2 3 4
>Death Egg control room
>
>Robotnik: Ha hah....welcome to the Sonic Gets Killed
>Show, the show where sonic gets killed. I'm your host
>Ivo Robotnik.
><swat bots clap>
>Sonic is tied to a SWAT missle
>"Wow I haven't seen one of these in a while" Sonic said
>Robotnik: And here is the suit that I confiscated from
>the hedgehog. Woo, classy suit.
David; For a more civilised age
Scott: Stop plagerizing Star Wars
>Who are you the suitman.
>Well looke here It's suithog sonic. Always wering a
>suit, what no tie don't make me laugh! ha...ha.....HA!
>Bob Prower blasts down the door with his shotgun!
David: Ooh...
>Sonic: Bob!
>Bob shoots robotnik in the metal arm
>Robotnik: Ow! ARRRGgg!!!
Scott: I dnt think he'd feel that
>Bob frees Sonic
>Robotnik turns his arm into a gun and shoots at them
>Robotnik: Snivley Grounder Scratch KILL THAT HEDGEHOG
>AND THAT FOX!!!!
>Grounder: Huh
>BLAM
>Grounder: uuhhhhh <KABOOOMMM!!!>
>Scratch: Heh heh <lights fuse on a bomb>
Sonic: I thought Scratch and Grounder died
David: GO away
>Bob shoots the bomb
>KABLAM
>Scratch: heh dead
>Snivley: Um, I'll just be going now
>Bob shoots Snivley, Snivley goes flying thorugh a glass
>window and falls down from the top of the death egg
>*splat*
>Sonic: It's wheel of fortune! I'm Pat Sajack the
>hedgehog and the category is DEAD FAT GUYS!
David: What is Teddy Rooselvetl?
Austin: A Fag
David: That was the answer
Austin: I know
David: No, "What is Teddy Roosevelt?" is the answer
Austin: I'm confused..
>I'd like to
>buy an R for YOU BUTTNIK!
>Sonic spins
>Robotnik dodges and shoots sonic
>Sonic: BR-GAAAK! oof
>Bob: That ain't nice
>Bob shoots Robotnik
>Robotnik: Ow....I'm dead! no!
David: I'm dead too
>The rest of the freedom fighters arrive
>"Hey we're on TV!" said Sonic
>"Hi Mom!" said Rotor
Austin: Rotor's mom cant hear him shes too busy being a whore
Everyone snickers
>"Uhh rotor your Mom's robotocized" said
Austin: RoboWhore
David: (still luaghing a bit) Ok, AUstin, thtas enough..
>Sonic
>"waah" said Rotor
>"Oh by the way" said Bob "We better skeedaddle cuz I put
>a penny in the reactor core as a joke and it's gonna
>essplode any time now"
>KKKKAAAAAABBOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! ROBOTROPOLIS BLOWS UP!
>Luckily Sonic and the Freedom Fighters escaped with time
>to spare.
Jmie: They should give more detail
David: There's enough deatil!!
Austin:>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>Mobius TV Station
>
>Bob is fixing the TV antenna
>"hey stupid" bob said to tails "pass me a hammer"
>Tails threw a hammer at Bob.
Austin: Tails is Stupid
>BoNk! "Ouch!" said bob as the hammer hit him in the
>head. Then the antenna fell over.
>"That's the third time today" said Sonic
>"Get this offa me ya lazy git" said Bob trapped under
>the antenna.
David: an ANtenna's to heavy for him
>Tails helped him get out.
>"Oh sonic" said Sally "I read your email and, you
>know......"
><Sonic> cybersex? :)
><Sally> Oh sonic ;)
Jamie: This reminds me of last night
Scott: GOD DAMMIT WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!!!!!
---everyone stays quiet--
David: Scott..you swore..
Scott: GOOD GOD NO!!!!
>"TAILS YA FRICKIN IDIOT STOP THROWING THOSE AT MY HEAD,
>WHAT ARE YA AIMING FOR IT OR SOMETHING?" yelled Bob
>"Yeah" said Tails
>"Why ya little" said Bob
Austin: hehe heh.. Tails' is gonna die
Scott:>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
>Knotohole Villige
>
>Bob is leaving the freedom fighters
>" I must leave now" said bob
>"Will we see you again?" said Tails
>"I focking hope not" said Bob
David: Ok, to Mach, yes I think he is doing this on purpose
>Then he left and Sonic and Tails went to watch TV.
>"Well now the TV stations back up and we won't have to
>watch Robot Melrose Place anymore" said SOnic
Jamie: thats disgusting...
Jose Solano
Zuckuss199
David makes retarded yet sarcastic comments
Austin acts like a queer
Jamie syas it how it is
and Scott wants to know what happened last night between David and Jamie
>"Cool, Furry South Park is on" said Tails
>"Remember when I was telling you how life was like TV?"
>Tails said
>"Yep" said Sonic
>Geoffrey St. George was standing by the window of the
>hut
>Tails pulled out a gun and shot geoffrey. Rotor stopped
>whatever he was doing and broke down the door of sonic's
>hut in emergency.
David: I get Deja Vu right now...
>"Oh my God! <pant pnat> i had to go all the way across
>the villiage to get here <pant pant> They Killed
>Geoffrey!" said Rotor
>"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
>
>
>Furry Stan: Oh my God they Killed kenny the rabbit!
>Furry Kyle: You bastards!
>"Oh now I get it!" said Sonic
David: get what?
>THE END
>
>In Robotropolis Robotnik pulled himself out of a pile of
>scrap metal
>"Woah." said Robotnik "It's a good thing I wasn't really
>dead, or I'd be dead now"
David: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Austin: What's so funny?
>"yes sir, very good sir" said Snivley
>"But tommorrow is another day" said Robotnik "Another
>chance to kill that hedgehog!"
David: Ok, end of the movie.
Jamie: That was weird
Scott: Ok, so tell em what ahppened last night!!
David: Should I?
Jamie: nah.
Scott: DAMMIT
Austin: You swore!
Scott: SHUT THE F*CK UP AUSTIN!!
Jose Solano
Jeff Read
Why do all these people love Green Day? I mean, Green Day sucks. And it
has nothing to do with Sonic, really, except that guy has blue hair.
Sonic's music is usually j-pop, techno, or dance music. Not this seattle
grunge crap.
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jeff Read <bit...@geocities.com>/ http://genpc.home.ml.org
Unix / Linux / Windows Hacker, / Boycott Microsoft!
Anime & Sonic Fan, / Use Linux/GNU!
All Around Nice Guy / Let's keep the Net and the Land FREE!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Johnny Wallbank
>All characters like Sonic and stuff, fetured in this
>story are copyright of SEGA and Archie Comics. Except
>for Packbell, Chris Petrucci and Vision, and others they
>are copyrights of their respective authors. HOWEVER THEY
>DO NOT APPEAR IN THIS STORY. Other copyrights like
>Beavis and Butthead and Mountain Due and Greenday are
>copyrights of other companies. THe author of this story
>does not intend to imply ownership of anything or
>anycharacters in the following story. This story may be
>distributed for free but you can't sell it for money.
>End of LEGAL STUFF----
MiSTED by Johnny Wallbank (Sonikku).
>
>SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK 3
>Too Fast for The Naked Eye
*Sonikku dresses his eye up.
Is he still too fast?
>
>By SONIC FAN
>
Which Sonic fan would that be? There are hundreds out there nowadays.
>Another SWAT smashing action paked story from the master
>of sonic fan fiction!!!
ALL HAIL THE MASTER OF SONIC FANFICS AND HIS GLORIUS NEW REGIME!!!
Or maybe not.
>
>It was another day in Knothole not being without the
>worry of Dr. Ivo Robontik. All the freedom fighters were
>doing useful stuuff.
I normally do useful stuff around the house, however I haven't tried
doing useful stuuff yet. Must try it sometime.
> Sally was orgazining the computor
>records,
Let's see...
C... Cybersex
I ... Furry IRC
> Bunnie was reajusting her mechanical arm and
staring at a row of crystals stating their colour, shape and date of
originating, to cut a long story short, she was being observant.
>ROtor was dunking donuts in the lab.
ROtor: I MUST DO SOMETHING USEFUL TO SAVE THE WORLD! I KNOW! I WILL
DUNK MY DONUTS UNTIL I DRAIN ALL THE WORLD'S COFFEE AND SAVE PEOPLE
FROM CAFFIENE DEATH!!!
> Meanwhile while
>this stuff was being done Sonic was in his hut watching
>TV
Where's the TV reception gone? I don't belive seeing any TV Sattalites
on the huts' roof, maybe I missed that episode/comic where Sonic gets
a TV reception. I'll go find out what episode/comic it was...
> Then Tails walked in
And said "FOCK YOU SONIC!"
>"Hi there Tails have a Mountain Due" said Sonic
Tails: No thanks, I just ate.
>"thanks sonic hey whats on TV."
>"Everything on tv sucks thanks to robotnik. Since the TV
>station is still down
Torn down in Part 1, rebuild in Part 1, destroyed 5 seconds before
Part 3.
>the only thing to watch is
>robotniks channel" said sonic
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I thought it was ((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))) anyway, but
nooooooooo, now it's the new fangled {{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}} thingy.
Honestly, ((((((((((()))))))))))s these days..
>
>Just then Rotor suddenly spilled coffee
ROtor: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I HAVE SPLIT THE HOLY COFFEE! WHAT SHOULD I DO
NOW, I MUST DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH MY COFFEE!!!!
> on the
>cybersuit.
Where the hell did that come from?
>"oops" he said
ROtor: NOOOOOOOOO! I'VE DOOMED THE WORLD BY NOT DOING SOMETHING
USEFUL! I'll go pour myself another cup of coffee
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
I know!
({({({({({({({({({({({})})})})})})})})})})})}
Now everyone's happy!
>
>Sonic is watching TV.
>
Really? Last time I saw him, he was doing the laundry.. I must not of
been observant enough, I'll talk to Bunnie about this...
>Robotnik: Doo doo doo
der dee der la du ddaaaaaa!
>this is the robotnik channel
What an original and inventive name for a TV channel!
and
>it's time for the Robotnik show!
What an original and inventive name for a TV show!
>Snively and the SWAT bot orchastra play the Robotnik
>Show theme song.
What an original and inventive name for a TV theme tune!
> Snively plays the sax.
Ah, yeah, Snivley went completely off charecter in Part
2.39483943943498 and learned how to play the sax...
WAIT A MINUTE! So Snivley plays both the orchestra and the sax?
Impressive stuff...
>Robotnik: Helloo!
Robotnik: He-llo every-body!
Audience: Hi there, Dr. Robotnik!!!
>Wlecome to the show!
Yes! We all wlecome you to the show! We used the welcome you to the
show, but now, we've made a change! Let's wlecome you to the show
instead for easier... err... listening!
>Live from
>Robotnropolis!
That's right! We've moved location! From Robotropolis to
Robotnropolis!
>So freedom fighters are like, lame.
Audience member: So y'all like, ya know, like, seen this like, show,
y'know like, before, y'all, yeah, like, this show like, rules, ya know
y'all and stuff, yeah y'all... like peace y'all and stuff.. yeah..
y'all.. yeah.. yeah...
>SWAT bots: HA......HA.........HA
>
After this show some major changes were made to the Doctor Who show.
DALEKS: HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!
>"Boo!" say sonic and Tails
Delayed reaction.
Ahhhhhhhhh... so very scary.. ahhhhhhhhhhh... help me... ahhhhhhh.
>
>Robotnik: We'll be right back after this commercial. Doo
>doo doo doo doo dooo
I remember that theme tune, it goes:
DOO DOO DOOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOD ODODOO DOOO DOOOO DOOO
DOO DOOD DOOOOOOOOOODY DOODDDYYYYY YEAH YEAH
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I think?
>Hello.
The recieving end has hung up, please try again later.
> Are you robotocizd?
No... tell me more!
>If not there are people who can help.
Oh goodie! WHO?! WHO?!?!
>Just stop by robotropolis
>and we'll robotocize you good.
COOL! None of this crappy roboticaztion, you get GOOD roboticazation!
>Doo doo doo
Here we go again!
DOO DOO DOOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOD ODODOO DOOO DOOOO DOOO
DOO DOOD DOOOOOOOOOODY DOODDDYYYYY YEAH YEAH
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>I'm Dr. Ivo
>Robotnik doo doo doo I'm a singin' my song because we're
>back ooh doo doo doo doo.
DOOO DER DUM DAH OOHHHOOUHHHHHH YEAH! WEEEELLLLCOMMMMEEE TO THE NA NAN
NA NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAAA WOOOOOHOOOOOO REALLY REALLY
WOOOOHHHHAAAAAAAAANAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! CRAP SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!
*Drum roll.
>Robotnik: Today our guest is Ken Penders.
Yes! Straight from Earth, please give him a warm wlecome!
Also on tonight is Leonardo D'Caprio!!! As if you care.
>Snively and the swats play music while Ken walks onstage
The good old doo doo doo tune? Or something original and inventive?
This show's really good at being original and inventive!!!
>Robtnik: Hiya Ken!
>Ken: Hello Mr. Docotor
During the commerical, Robotnik got promoted to Docotor. A highly
honoured title. Ken's telepathic of course and read his mind.
>Robotnik: Please, call me Ivo
Where have I heard that before... I remember it on some AOSTH
episode...
>Ken: ok Evo
Evo? Ego.
>Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: EVO!
Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: EVO!
Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: EVO!
Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: EVO!
Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: EVO!
Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: EVO!
Robotnik: IVO!
Ken: EVO!
Robotnik: IVO!
>Ken: Ok FatO
>Robotnik: Fok!!! just forget it!
Ken: No! Fock... sorry... I mean fok you Robotnik!
>Ken: Otay
On Mobius you see, people say 'Otay' not 'Okay'. It's a new fangled
thing, like these {{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}s you see so often.
>Robotnik: So Ken what do you do for a job
>Ken: Well I draw Sonic comics
>Robotnik: really
Ken: No, I'm lying.
>Ken: because I hate sonic
>Robotnik: Really? ME TOO!!!
Ken: Really? AND ME!!!
Robotnik: Really? THAT'S COOL!!!
Ken: Really? OH YEAH!!!
>Ken: And I want to kill Sally!
>RobotniK: Really? ME TOO!!!
Ken: Really? AND ME!!!
Robotnik: Really? THAT'S COOL!!!
Ken: Really? OH YEAH!!!
>Ken: Mmm-hmmm thats right a-yup
Robotnik: You're not Ken are you?
Ken: Sorry, I was lying again, I'm Elvis you see, uh-huh-hoh.
>Robotnik: So if you draw sonic comics....
>Ken: ya
Robotnik: Where do you come from Elvis?
Ken: Deutschland!
>Robotnik: and you hate sonic...
>Ken: ya
Robotnik: What's it like in Germany?
Ken: It ist gut danke! YA!!!!
>Robotnik: Wouldn't that be kind of a.....Walking
>Contradiction?
Ken: No, it's a Running Contridiction.
Robotnik: No it's not, it's a Hopping On One Foot And Quacking
Contridiction.
Ken: No it's not, it's a Rolling Down The Stairs Sticking Out One Foot
And Eating Several Packets Of Nachos And Laughing Contridiction.
>Ken: In what way
You go straight on till you get the first junction, then you turn off
left and keep going until you get to the highway, then you take a
sharp right and you're there.
>Robotnik: Snively, wouldn't you agree that's it's a
>walking contradiction
Snivley: No it's not, it's a Rolling Down The Stairs Sticking Out One
Foot And Eating Several Packets Of Nachos And Laughing Contridiction.
>Snively: Well...uuhhh...I....
>Robotnik: JUST SAY YES!!!!
>Snivley: Um, ok, er um, ah, yes
Snivley: Well erm. ah you see well now, it's like this, you've got the
wrong impression, it's not like that, errm., ah, yeah well it's like
this, nooooooooootttt reallyyyyy, ermm.... Oh OK, yes. No, maybe. No,
perhaps, erm... yes.
>Robotnik pulls out and electric guitar and
Completely straying off the main plot decides to hit Snivley on the
head with it.
>snively plays the bass
Playing over 3 instruments at once? Woah! Snivley IS good!
>some SWAT bot plays drums
And laugh hysterically all the way through it.
>They play Walking Contradiction by Greenday
Which GenFluke had stapled onto Robotnik's ass.
>Robotnik: DUNN DUUNN DUNNN WALKING CONTRADICTION!!!
YEAH YEAH YYYYEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M A ROLLING DOWN THE STAIRS STICKING
OUT ONE FOOT AND EATING SEVERAL PACKETS OF NACHOS AND LAUGHING
CONTRIDDICCTOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! YEAH!
>
>Sonic says "Well that wasted some time. I wonder what
>Roter is up to"
"Oh he's just gone to change the grammer system of the speech
on this from script to using speech marks like this, and he's changed
his name from ROtor to Roter now." Tails said.
>JUST THEN ROTOR FALLS THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE HUT!!!
"What the hell are you doing up there?" Sonic asked.
"Yeah, and how the hell did you fall through the roof?" Tails
said.
"IT SHOWS YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I EAT TOO MUCH DONUTS TAILS!"
"Yeah, but how did you get on the roof?" Sonic asked again.
"I ERRR.... WAS... I DUNNO, I JUST GOT UP THERE!!!"
"Why are you talking in caps?"
"BECAUSE I JUST FELL THROUGH THE ROOF IN CAPS! AND I HAven't
got over the... Ah, that's better.
"Are you OK, Roter?"
"Nono.. I changed my name again, it's now 'Rotor'."
"Oh, OK, Rotor."
>Rotor "Sonic Its' an emergency!!!"
>"What is it? Another SWAT missel?" says Sonic
Rotor "Yeah, get out of the way."
"Another grammer change?" says Sonic.
Rotor "Yeah."
"OK." says Sonic.
Rotor "Get out of the missels way."
"OK." says Sonic who steps backwards and waits for the missel to go
past.
Rotor "Robotnik's missels are deadly, I prefered his missiles."
"Yeah. He keeps shooting them through my window. I get nightmares
about it and stuff." says Sonic.
>"No!" said Rotor "Geoffry St. George is putting the
>moves on Sally!"
What an awful place to leave your Fighters Megamix moves list. Stop
him Sonic!
>"Ye gads!
Lord Tails! With me! We must stop this foul villain from taking over
this fair land! Come!
>said sonic "I'll be right out there kicking
>his butt in a few minutes!"
That's not very nice.
>"Hey sonic" mentioned Tails "Did you ever think that our
>lives are like TV shows sometimes"
"Yes." says Sonic.
"Oh." mentoined Tails "Fair enough."
>"Uhh whaddya mean?" sonic said
I forgot. Who cares?
>"Well you know sometimes we do stuff and it's like the
>stuff on Tv and stuff" tails said
"No it's not, we haven't got a doody theme tune yet." Sonic said.
>"Tails shut up. I don't know what the fock
Nono... fok. No, fock? OH FOC/K OFF SONIC!
FOC/K YOU! FOC/K EVERYTHING! FOC/K! FOC/K! FOC/K!
>you're
>talking about our life being tv or something now I gotta
>JUICE
my oranges. It's fresh in season you know. I like oranges, it makes me
even more out of charecter. Cool huh?
>" sonic said then he ran out of the hut WHOOOOSH!
I sure hope Tails had ear-muffs then. Or I'll sue Sonic Fan for
deafening Tails. Or something.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
Or...
((((((((((((()))))))))))))))
>Knothole Villiage
>
>SCRREEEEECHCHHHH!!! CRRAAAASSSHHHHH!!
This isn't Grand Theft Auto you know.
>sonic runs into a hut
Picccckkkk a hut, any hut, the one you choose will somehow have
Geoffery St. John in.
>"Ahhh Sally you are like the most beutiful apple"
Sally slaps Geoffery and he falls unconsious.
>Geoffry said
>"You are so flattery" said Sally
MOM! WHAT'S A FLATTERY?
>Sonic climbed out of the junk pile
Which was convientely placed in the hut, for some reason.
>"Hold it G! Get your hands off her you dam dirty ape!"
DR. ZAIUS, DR. ZAIUS! DR. ZAIUS, DR. ZAIUS!
Wrong cartoon.
>sonic spat
Sonic should know better not to spit. Spitting can spread germs. It's
also probably illegal in some parts of America. Ask around for more
details.
>"Oh well look at this. If it isn't the villiage
>buffooon." Geoffrey said
MOM! WHAT'S A BUFFOOOOOON?
>"How are you today villiage
>buffoon? Felling stupid i thought so fa-ha ha ha"
Geoffery then burst into hysterics. Sonic and Sally joined in for no
reason.
>"SHUT UP!!!" sonic said
"NO! SHUT THE FOC/K UP SONIC!" Geoffery yelled.
>"Oh touche,
No, en garde. Wrong cartoon again Sonic Fan.
>Sono
Sonotropolis? What's this doing here?
>. I am great, you are not, end of story"
Oh OK.
This story was MiSTED by Johnny Wallbank... have fun...
--
Sonikku
Yeah right! Read on!
>Geoff said
>"Oh yeah, well let's just figt about it, buttmunch."
"Shut up dillhole!" Geoffery punched Sonic.
"ASSWIPE!" Sonic punched Geoffery.
>sonic said
>"Well ok we shall du-el for the love of fair lady
>princess sally
YE GADS! I WOULD FAIN TO FIGHT THEE TO A DUEL!
>" Geoff said "In a gentlemanly fashion of
>course. And of couse I will wi-"
Wi?
Wizard? Wizkid? Wicked? Will?
>Just then Sonic turned into a spin blade and cut Geoffry
>in half!
That's not very nice. REMEMBER KIDS, CUTTING PEOPLE IN HALF IS NOT BIG
OR CLEVER, DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME!
>"Oh my God! They killed Geoffrey!" said Rotor
"Oh hang, that's OK. Go ahead." Rotor said, contradicting himself.
>"YOU BASTARDS!" Said Tails.
Foc/k off Kyle.
>
>{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
Foc/k off you piece of foc/king text!
>
>5 min. later
>
>"Hey rotor" said Sonic "How's my cybersuit? Is the tune-
>up done?"
"Didn't you just kill Goeffery St. John?" Rotor asked.
"Yeah." Sonic said.
"Oh, OK. Who cares, you just killed a guy brutally and horribily which
would make this fanfic and MA-17, but OK."
>Rotor said "Er, well I kind of spilled coffee on it so I
>had to clean it. And instead of using Polymethalene
>cleanser i used Polyzethelene cleanser"
That was clever... DUHHHHHHHH! You should of used
Protatypicalaswellasstererotypical clenaser, fool!
>"And that means..." said sonic, tapping his foot
>"It don't work no more" said Rotor
--==WARNING: BRITISH HUMOUR AHEAD==--
"It what?"
"I DON'T WORK NO MORE GRANT!" Rotor pulled off his mask, revaling
himself as Tiffany from Eastenders.
"DON'T PATRONIZE ME!" Sonic unleashed his real face, revealing himself
as Grant.
"I'VE GOT A BABY COMING! I JUST WANT DROGS GRANT! I -- WANT -- DROGS!"
"I'VE ONLY GOT DRUGS YOU LITTLE..." Grant gives an exasperated gasp as
a (crappy) form of censorship. "Just stay out of my way..."
"FINE! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! AND CURSE YOU TO HELL!"
Tiffany runs off crying.
>"Oh well that's just not good. What will we do now. Do
>you know how to fix it robor?"
" Yeah. I just a crapomatic cleanser." Rotor said.
*Rotor picks up a cropomatic cleanser instead and uses it.
"Opps. Wrong one." Said Rotor.
>"Hell no" said Rotor
Completely contradictary to the above.
>"Well this is just peachee" sonic said
"It's actually peachy." Rotor said.
"Oh foc/k you Rotor." Sonic said.
>"Hey sonic my Uncle Bob used to have a cybersuit I bet
>he can fix yours!" said Tails
"Naaa, my Uncle Phillip has one." said Sonic.
"Really? So does my long-lost Uncle Paul!" Said Rotor.
>"Way past cool bro!" said sonic "Where does he live?"
"New York, I think."
>"Like, on the other side of mobius" tails replied
"Oh, my guess was incorrect."
>"FOCK!" said sonic
"What's wrong?" Tails asked.
"Nothing, I just remember it was 'Fock' back then not 'Fok'." Sonic
replied.
>"Well I guess we have to go there"
OK, let's just shove the plot over their to save time.. like Sonic fan
normalyl does.
>"Hey Sal" said Sonic "Me an Tails are going to find Bob
>Prower"
Find? You already know where he lives. Or has Tails forgotten?
>SAlly said "Can you stop by the mall and pick up some
>stuff"
"Sure SAlly." Sonic said
.
>"Stuff? well ok." sonic said
"Not stuff actually, it's a magazine called 'Stating the Obvious
Monthly' that I enjoy getting." Said SAlly.
>Sally gave sonic the shopping list. Then she moved close
>to him
Easy now, there are kids reading this!
>and said
>"Hey thanks for killing Geoffry St. George he was a real
>dumbass. he kept like saying stupid stuff to me and
>stuff."
"You said he was flattery though!" Sonic yelled.
"That means being a dumbass, yeah." SAlly... sorry... Sally pointed
out.
>"No prob Sal" said Sonic "I'm always glad to kill Geoff"
You've done it before? I could use an assassin... hmm...
>"Well like, get going now or something" said sally
"Yeah, like, y'all get going now, y'know like, and stuff, like...
yeah... like.. yeah, peace... yeah.. and stuff...." Sally said.
>"Ya ya hey tails get the hoverbikes!" sonic said
"Coming sir...." Tails said, who suddenly had a tuxedo on for the sake
of being a butler.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
Shut up!
>
>Mobius Garage less than 1 minute later
>
>"Wow y'all they all is osme hoverbikes isn that a right
>Antony?" Bunnie said
then caught sight of some gems and started saying what
colour/size/origin they were/had.
>"Zee is le ooh la ola of zee bike hoovaire izznt ze
>Sonique?" Antoinne said.
"Ohh zat ist zee whelly bad Francais immytaychan? Non?" Antoine said
after that.
Bunnie however was STILL occupied by the gems.
>Bunnie says "Y'all got th' sprokets in em. sprok'ts is
>funny ya'll know some of em are round
"Oui, tres observant!" Antoine said.
>and some of em are
>sqaure hecka
"Oui... tres tres observant!!!" Antoine said, getting more bored each
time.
>y'all all ought'a know some of em arent
>even sprokets at all!"
"AHHHH SHADDAP!!!!" Antoine yelled.
>"Oui oui ze spookets is ze mose importante part ov ze
>Hoo-veir-siay-coule" antoinne said
The what?!?!?
>"Yeah I'll keep that in mind or something" sonic said
>*they're stupid* sonic thought to himself
No, just observant.
>"Juciy peanut butter an jam on the hoverbikes
Better clean it up then, it plays havoc with the comfort controls you
know.
>HEY HO
>LETS GO"
That ranks highly in the World's Corniest Catchphrase, it has the
highyl reevered honour of being in fourty second place, next to "OW!"
> said Tails revving the engine of his bike
>Sonic jumped on a bike and started it.
So they both started the bike up? That's not physically possible, or
it shouldn't be...
>KRAKA KRAKA BADOOOM!
The explosion destroyed Mobius. Then the story continued regardless of
the current situation.
>The engines of both bikes blow up
OHHH! Now you say the have individual bikes. Unfortuntealy, this kills
the main heros. End of story?
>"Oh ya'll suga" said Bunnie "I was a try'hin to fix tha
>old ther old bikes but some of em was bolts
"Not again!" Antoine screamed.
>and some of em was screws
"NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!" He said, turning white.
> and some of em was sprokets.
"GARRRRGHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Antoine nearly died.
>Heck all 'all some em weren't even things at all!"
"YES! VERY OBSERVANT! NOW FOCK OFF!" Antoine yelled.
>"Ah oui i say BOONIE pass me ze sPoRokEt and she passe
>me une sproket when i want UNE SPROOKATE! UNE SPROOKATE!
This, people, is the tragic effect of listening to a very observant
person, you go insane and tYpE StUfF lIkE this AND REPEAT YOURSELF!
REPEAT YOURSELF! IN CAPS!!!
>ise zat zo ard to oonderstande?" Antoinne said
Antony? Antoinne? Stop changing your name inbetween sections.
>"ok Tails, plan B. This sucks." sonic said
"Yeah. Let's end the story!" Tails said.
"No. Let's not." Sonic continued.
>"Plan C, we walk, or in our case run and fly really
>fast" sonic continued
Err... yeah! And stuff.
>So SOnic and Tails ran off into the sunset going in the
>general direction of the Mobius Mall
Don't forgot to stop at McDonalds (hell, if there's a mall and TV,
there must be a McDonalds.)
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I said shut up!
>
>Robotropolis, the Death Egg
1942. The British have taken over the World.. and... oh read on!
>
>"Mwahahahaha" said Robotnik "I own the only TV station
>on Mobius now they have to watch MY SHOWS!
That too is not very nice. You'll have a rebellion soon, and it's a
shame to lose a show with such an original and inventive title, theme
tune and content.
>HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
...And the bits where the SWATbots burst into hysteria.
>Grounder and Scratch were in front of the TV camera
>Grounder shoots scratch with a laser gun
This is starting to get really nasty. Let's all be friends and hug
each other and stuff, in perfect unity. Awwww....
>"Huhuhuhuhuh" said Grounder
>"Heheheheheh" says Scratch. Then scratch beats grounder
>with a computer terminal
BREAK IT UP! Even the mad laughter and hysterics are getting annoying!
>"You idiots!" Robotnik said "Cut that out! Why don't you
>do something useful, like kill people at the mall or
>something"
"Well, it's illegal, it's not fair, it costs money, it wastes time, it
means we have to get off our lardy arses and do something, we have to
make excuses... It's just not worth it. There were days when things
like this were safe and fun... not now though!
>"Cool" said grounder
Remember kids, killing people at the mall is NOT BIG OR CLEVER! DO NOT
ATTEMPT IT AT HOME (or better still, don't attempt it in the mall.)
>"Heh heh heh heh yeah!" said scratch "cool!"
Shut up Beavis.
>"Uhhh sir" said Snively, walking into the room
who was playing 70 instruments at once.
>Robotnik walks in front of the TV camera and says
>"Hello, I would like to make a public service
>announcement
Don't shoot anything, or kill people in the malls without parental
supervision. Thank you.
>Snively is dumb. Thank you."
No he's not! He's playing 71 instruments now!
>Everybody laughs except for snively who mutters "Ugly
>old robofat"
How about promoting my game?
<advertising>
UGLY OLD ROBOBLAST!!! GREAT FUN TO PLAY! GET IT NOW!!!!!!
And stuff.
</advertising>
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
*Sonikku gets out his chainsaw and uses it.
{{{{{{{{ }}} {} { }}}}} {{{}}}}}}
>
>Mobius Mall
>
>"let's see what we're supposed to get" sonic said,
Lemme see...
o -- An IRC program
o -- CyberSex in 5 easy steps.
o -- CyberSex: Advanced Techniques.
o -- Stating the Obvious Monthly.
>looking at the list "Hmmm a dress, I guess we don't need
>to get that since Geoffry is dead"
This is for Sally, not Geoffry Sonic, oh wait! Geoffry was killed. Oh.
Geoffery is still at large then. Get the dress.
>"Hey sonic wanna spend all the money at the arcade?"
>said Tails
And get told off by an old bloke telling you about the good ol' golden
days...
>"Yeah" said sonic "Good idea, i hate shopping"
And me. Lemme come with you!!!
>Scratch and Grounder are hiding behind a plant
>"Hehehheh" said Scratch "Were we supposed to get like,
>apples or something"
"No, y'all, like, we're like, meant to to, y''know, like, kill him,
and like, stuff, ya know? Yeah... yeah.. like... yeah...." Scratch
remembered.
>"No Buttwad" said Grounder as he loaded his grenade
>launcher "we have to kill people and stuff"
No, this isn't Quake II.
*Sonikku shoves them into a Quake II DeathMatch,.
OH GOODIE!
Scratch was killed by Sonikku.
Grounder was gibbed by Sonikku.
I do enjoy a good Q2 DM!
>
>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
Where's my chainsaw gone? I left it in the Q2 DM! DAMN!
>
>Arcade
>
>Tails is playing pinball
while reading Stating the Obvious monthly.
>Sonic sees the pinball machine and has a flashback
Of what? No, I don't want to know now. Please don't tell me.
>"AHHHHHH!!! NO! NOT PINBALL!" he screams and then falls
>on the floor. On the way down he knocks over a few
>arcade machines
That's unusually violent and destructive for Sonic. But then again,
this IS an Out Of Character realm.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
Shut up or I'll get Cartman to fart over you!
>
>Internet Cafe
>
>Sonic is reading the newsgroups and drinking a cafe
>late.
Sonic can drink solid objects? And how'd he recover so quick from that
flashback? See the S-Files tommorow afternoon, 9pm EST to see exactly
how this was done.
>alt.fan.sally-acorn
What a inventive and original name for a newsgroup!
<Fake>
>"Here's a message from Geoffry St. George"
>From: stge...@knothole.com
>Message Title: Hello Sally
</Fake>
>Hello Sally I love you. What say we have some cybersex.
"So THAT'S why she wanted those books! And the IRC channel mod!" Sonic
pounded his fist on the disk, destroying it, and he just had another
flashback and fell on the floor, knocking over an arcade machine which
so happened to be behind him.
>"Arg! I'll kill him!" says Sonic
You'd kill some twice? How sick twisted and ghastly! You should be
ashamed of yourself!
>Sonic goes back to the arcade to check on Tails
On his medical health, how observant he is, and what game he's
playing, of course.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
Cartman??!
>
>Grounder and Scratch walk into the arcade both are
>heavily armed.
Here come the Men in Metal!
>Then sonic walks in "Yo tails what up?"
Then Tails says. "Nothing. This is a focking hard game though."
>Grounder drones "Hegehog Priority 1 or something!"
Yeah, that's right.
>"Heheh heh heh heh DIE!!!!" says Scratch
Don't kill him! He's my friend! And I'm not in his will! You bastards!
>Sonic and Tails duck behind A pac man machine. Grounder
>fires grenades at it blowing it up.
How'd you escape that Quake II DeathMatch anyway?
> Sonic runs and leaps
>onto antoehr machine. Scratch fires the machine gun all
>over the place.
Suddenly Rotor drops through the roof...
No, that's not right.
SUDDENLY ROTOR DROPS THROUGH THE ROOF!!!!!!!!!!
And walks home, leaving the story to continue.
>Tails jumps on grounder and pulls his nose out and lets
>it snap back
Attached by metal string! Call 1-800-METALSTUFF NOW for your free
catalog!
>"Ow! huh huh!" said grounder "You die infeldel
>Kitasune!"
This is in Japenese isn't it?
"Saaa, kunnano INFELDEL KITASUUUUNNNEEEEEEE!"
Or perhaps not. Read on.
>Tails gets hit by grounders drill missle!
"Woah! You got hit by a missle, correct spelling at last!" Sonic said.
>"ack i'm bleeding!" said Tails
"So what?" said Sonic. I'm gonna kill 'em.
>Sonic spin dashes through an arcade machine and smashes
>into scratch. Snic steals his gun and puts it to
>Scratches head and pulls the trigger! KABLAMO!!!
Wait! Who's Snic? Is he a new character? Did he jump out of the arcade
machine, or have I just plain missed something here, I'll re-read the
story afterway.
>"heh heh me dead" said Scratch
"Ugg ugg, you dead. That not good. Ugg." Says Grounder, who, for no
reason whatsoever, has turned into a caveman.
>Grounder fires moregrenades.
The incredible might of the MOREGRENADES!!!
> They miss sonic but blow up arcade machines.
This is gonna cost Konami, Namco and Capcom lots of money, I hope they
were all insured.
> Sonic gets hit in the head with a stray joystick.
Strays should be locked up and kept OFF THE STREETS!
>He gets knocked down. Grounder rolls over to
>him.
And sings the inventive and original Robotnik Show Theme Tune!
>Then the voice from Furry Mortal Kombat III says "Finish
>Him" sonic pulls out a power ring and dashes grounder
>blowing him up into a kazillion peices.
That's an non-exsistent number. Please try again some other time.
>"Game Over for them" said sonic
No it isn't, they've got 5 more continues.
>Sonic and Tails leave the mall but before they do they
>get some food from Furry McDonald's and steal TP from
>the bathrooms and TP the guy working a Furry Radio
>Shack.
Look out! Your TP's could be at risk if you don't insure them, our top
quality TP men, Sonic and Tails, will steal it from your bungholes if
you aren't careful.
You have been warned. Pay us now at:
1-800-PAYMETP
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I'm warning you!
>
>Sonic and Tails trek accross Mobius to find Bob Prower.
>They have many exciting adventures
like tracking down a squirrel, looking off a cliff and the heroic and
courageous walking bit! All avaiable at Blockbuster videos today! And
probably today only.
>but eventually they reach a town.
Which will remain nameless for you the duration of the story.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
Fine, ignore me, but you'll pay for it!
>
>6 months after they left Knothole Sonic and Tails arrive
>at the town where Tails used to live
However, in 6 months, Robotnik takes over the world and Sonic forgets
what he was coming for.
>"I used to live here you know" said Tails "Bob's Trailer
>is just over there....."
"The one with the huge 'Bob's Trailer' sign on it?" Sonic asked.
"Yeah, probably. Where's my latest issue of 'Stating the Obvious
Monthly' gone?" Tails looked for it.
>Just then a robot moves towards them. Followed by a spy
>eye.
FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY! THE ORIGINAL JAMES BONDS' EYE! ONLY $500! BUY
TODAY FOR A $0.02 DISCOUNT!
>They spy eye has robotnik's face on the screen.
What an orginal and inventive design for a spy eye!
>"HELLOOOOOO!" says Robotnik
Hardly the master of stealth.
>"Yo Tubbanik I've seen enough of you on TV already"
But you've not seen TV for 6 months!!!
>sonic says
>"Hah hah shut up Sonic. You see, I followed you here
For 6 months? What a boring and uneventful occupation.
>so
>you could meet my newest bot. Meet TANK BOT mark II"
What happened to mark I? Oh yeah, he died in Part 2.123087120398232
didn't he?
>Robotnik said
>The robot comes into view. It's Tank Bot only bigger,
>better and more heavily armed
And a bit more expensive too. A Tank Bot is good enough, but NOOOOOO,
Robotnik's a rich bloke that can afford this.
>"BEEP BEEP KILL FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARRR BEEP BEEP BEEP"
Stop swearing! I can't censor all your focking swearwords!
>says the bot
>"Ok" says Sonic "Tails......run"
"Don't wanna." Tails said.
"OK, let's sit here and get killed." Sonic looked at the tank crushing
him.
Not.
>Tank Bot chases after sonic. It runs at Sonic's speed
A Tank that runs? How original and inventive!
>sonic can hardly dodge all the lasers and missles flying
>at him. Sonic runs up a wall. *this alwaysworks* he
>thinks
*yeahthisalwaysworksalwaysitalwaysworksthisissocool.* he then thinks.
>But Tank Bot II doesn't fall for that trick! It fires a
>missle at sonic which missle the blue blure by only an
>inch. Sonic is running around Tails is flying around.
Once again, the author is amazingly observant and is always quick to
get in there and state the obvious.
>Then Tails catches a missle and throws it at the bot.
Wow! What an original and inventive way to destroy the bot!
>YOWZA! KABLAMO!
Batman makes a special apperance in this show.
> TANK BOT 2 EXPOLDES!
REALLY? THAT'S COOL!!!!!!
>"Another day another tank bot dead" said sonic
But you haven't killed one for 6 months.
>"we don't kill tank bot every day you know" said Tails
Exactly my point!
>"Ya ya ya what" said sonic
Sonic is really Arnold Schwarznegger.
>The cameraman tells them to go to the next scene
There's a cameraman in this story? So many plot twists!
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I'll get my chainsaw back... and when I do.. YOU'RE DEAD!
>
>Bob Prower's trailer
>
>Tails knocks on the door "Hey uncle Bob we need your
>help!"
"What's up?"
"Well, Sonic's.... I forgot. It's OK, see ya later." Tails said. And
they went back home, which took another 6 months...
>Bob opens the door carrying a triple-barrel shotgun
*Sonikku puts it back in Quake II.
>"Come in ye, Welcome to my trailer"
Ah, a Scotsman!
>"hi there" says Sonic "Are you like, Bob Marley"
"Yeah, like, how did I like, y'know, like, work out your, like,
y'know, y'all, your last name and stuff, like, yeah, like and stuff..
yeah... yeah.. peace... yeah...
>"No" said Bob "Knuckles is like Bob Marley"
Knuckles is really Bob Marley? I've been decieved! ROBBED! AND WORSE!
KNUCKLES LIED TO US ALL THIS TIME!
Or maybe not.
>"You've never met him though" said sonic
Exactly.
>"The author told me" said Bob
He did? Sonic Fan! How dare you effect the visions of every Sonic fan
around! That's illegal, I'm suing you!
Not.
>"Yo what up" I said
I didn't say that!
>"Hey author" said sonic
I'm the MiST author, talk to him, not me!
>"Hey how's it going" I said
This is an interesting conversation between the two.
>"Past cool" said sonic
So, it's 'past cool' but 'below freezing'. Fair enough.
>"See you later" I said
What a highly intelligent conversation.
>"Jam past cool alligator" said sonic
Not the bread joke again! Tails, please don't say that corny line!
(Please?) And the author is an alligator.
>"Now getting back to the plot"
There's a plot to this? You could of fooled me.
> says sonic "What do you do around here"
Now Sonic's the MBI (copyright Kenneth Hughes). Great, here we go,
here's the long list of questinos, the uncoperative suspect...
>"I make bombs" said Bob
Remember kids! IT'S ILLEGAL TO MAKE BOMBS! DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT
HOME, IN A MALL OR IN A TRAILER. This is just a cheap story, not real
life.
>"He used to be in the furry IRA" said Tails
Leave the Irish out of this!!! What have they done to you Americans.
And how can you have a furry IRA? That's like saying hainvg a cute n'
cuddly Mafia. That's a Rolling Down The Stairs Sticking Out One Foot
And Eating Several Packets Of Nachos And Laughing Contridiction.
>"That could be useful we could use bombs" said sonic
Sonic, you part of the group aren't you? ARREST HIM!
>"But" sonic said "What we need you for right now is to
>fix the cybersuit"
You remembered. Incredible. You have passed the memory test, now go
back to Knothole.
>"Yeah" said Tails "And fix our TV station too! You can
>do that right Bob?"
That'd mean a major rebellion against the almighty show with an
orginal and inventive title, theme tune, etc.
>"Fock ye" said Bob "I'm not some fixing machine"
Scottish again?
>"We got lotsa chili Dogs" said sonic
>"And hotdogs on a stick?" said Bob
>"Yeh" said sonic
>"Well I'll do it then" Bob said
Hooray. That's how you negoiate in Mobius, lie and say you've got
hundreds of chilli-dogs, tried and tested.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I'll get you at the end...
>
>6 months later they all arrive back at Knothole. That
>would mean they were gone for about a year.
Very good! You should be a Math teacher. What a waste of time that is,
I would of waited to get the hover bikes working, but that'd mean not
going through loads of badly done fight sequences.
>"Sally, meet my uncle Bob Prower. Can he be a freedom
>fighter?" Tails asked Sally
YEAH! MOMMY! CAN HE?! CAN HE?!
>"Well, I dunno, he's kind of ugly" said sally
"Charming, aren't ye, ye wee mangy dawg! Fock ye!" He said.
>Just then a bullet swishes past Sally's head! Ken
>Penders is at the top of the clock tower
Where'd that come from? Or was it built while they were away.
>shooting at
>Sally! Bob pulls out his shotgun and shoots ken Penders.
Funny how he attacks now, isn't it? And what was the point of that
sequence?
>BLAM! "EYAH!" Ken falls off the tower
And dies a slow horrible death. Sonic Fan is cruel. He should be burnt
at the stake for that.
>*thud*
>"Hello chaps! Jolly good day isn't it!" said Geoffry St.
>George
Where the hell did he come from?
>Bob shoots Geoffry right in the left eye, the bullet
>goes throgh his head and hits the bulllseye on a swatbot
>target
Bob's a nice friendly chap isn't he?
>"Oh my God, they killed Geoffry!" said Rotor
"Oh hang, that's OK. Go ahead." Rotor said, contradicting himself.
>"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
>"But you see Sally" Tails continued "He's useful!"
What an amazingly quick character personality change!
>"Well alright he can stay" Sally said
>"Gee thanks bit--" bob said
Censorship! Why not use those BEEP's from above, you BEEPing BEEP of
BEEP and BEEP BEEP BEEPPP BEEEPPPP BEEEEEEEEEPP!
>"UNCLE BOB!!!" said Tails
"TAILS!!!!" said Uncle Bob.
>"But he'd better learn some manners" said Sally "Or
>he'll end up like PEZ boy did in the last story cuz I'll
>shove a power ring down his throat!"
This story is rated MA-666 about now.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
Where's that bleedin' chainsaw gone?!?
>
>Rotor's Lab
>
>Bob fineshed fixing the cybersuit. Sonic Tails and Rotor
>watched TV.
Oh goodie! Here's that inventive and original show!
>
>Robotnik: Doo doo doo
Here we go again...
DOO DOO DOOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOOOD ODODOO DOOO DOOOO DOOO
DOO DOOD DOOOOOOOOOODY DOODDDYYYYY YEAH YEAH
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Same tune as it was a year ago... ahhh....
>It's The Robotnik With A Bucket on
>His Head and Snivley With a Mop on his Head Show!
What an original and inventive idea for a TV show!
>Hello
Hi Docotor Robotnik (is he still a Docotor?)
>I'm Robotnik and I have a bucket on my head! doo doo doo
>bucket head d
DOOODOODODODODOOOOOOOOOOOO! HELLO DOODODOODODODODODOODODOYEAHYEAHYEAH!
HOW ARE OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH NA NA NAAAAAAAAAAAA! YOU TODAY!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Drum roll
>oo doo doo doo doo Oh look here's Snively!
>Say Hi snively!
Hi Snivley.
*Sonikku is crushed to death by a curse.
>Snivley:Er, yes, um I am Snivley. And I have a mop on my
>head....a-doo doo doo...doo
DoodoodoooDOOOOOOOOOOO!
>Robotnik: Weeee-ha! woo woo woo! <Robotnik plays drums
>on his head>
That hurts. I should know. I've been it before.
>
>Bob shot the TV. "Buncha idyuts" he said
>"Hey I was watchin' that!" said Sonic
>But Bob had already left
Bob seems to be very unsafe with a gun.
This fox is armed and dangerous. Watch out!
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
You'll die for this!!!! A slow and painful death.
>10 seconds later
>"All right Tails" said Sonic "Where would Bob have
>gone?"
Inbetween the 10 seconds, Tails has turned into a telepath!
>"Well If i know my uncle, and I do know my uncle, I say
>if he hated that show he was going to kill the cast of
>it namely Snivley and Robotnik" Tails said
SUDDENLY ROTOR FELL THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE HUT! And he walked away
again.
>"He'll be robotocized!"
Roboticized good or just roboticizied?
>said SOnic "Let's get the other
>freedom fighters and go save him!"
Gunstar Heros!!!!!!
>
>{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}
Very painful, very slow....
>
>Robotropolis, Death Egg
>
>After many action packed suspenseful battles the freedom
>fighter ended up in Robotnik's bathroom.
Wow! What a thrilling action packed fight scene!
>"Ok gang" said Sally "Here's the plan. This is Big-Fat-
>Chubby-nik's personal bathroom so the control room is
>nearby. So we go there."
I hope he's not actually taking a bath, or we'll be rating this an
MA-90210
>But as luck would have it robotnik walked in.
>"Oh what's this" said Robotnik "Freedom Fighters in my
>bathroom.
What a scary thought, you have a bath and some people walk in.
Frightful experience. Bathrooms aren't safe anymore.
> Well what a good way to test my new invention!
>Oh MARIO-bot!"
Does this guy have a pal called LUIGI-bot by any chance?
>clang clang clang
>"Hey Pizanos I am-a Super MArio Bot!" said MARIObot
MARIObot, what's a Pizanos, or is this the Japenese bit again?
>"MArio, Kill them" Robotnik said
>"I do-a whata you-a tella me to do-a cause a-you the big
>liguine" MAriobot said
What'a a liguine? A smaller version of a limo?
>MARIObot shoved all the freedom fighters,
He said kill them, not play tag with them!
> with the lone exception of Sonic, into the large toilet.
I hope Robotnik's not crapped into that.
> They wouldn't flush so mario had to shove them down
>the toilet with his plunger. Down they went into the septic tank.
From now, I abandon ship as I completely lose track of the plot, and
wait until it gets more sensible.
>Then Sonic, wearing the cybersuit, stomped on Mariobot's
>head, crushing him.
>"What a walking contradiction!" Robotnik said
No, what a Rolling Down The Stairs Sticking Out One Foot And Eating
Several Packets Of Nachos And Laughing Contridiction.
>He then proceeded to sing walking contradiction by
>Greenday
Which is still stapled onto the Robotnik's ass (thanks again to
GenFluke for that.)
>After that some SWATbots took sonic prisoner and took
>him to the control room
Even with his Cybersuit, he can't beat about 3 SWATbots. What a tragic
end.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
Ohhhhh yes, what a way to die!
>
>Robotropolis septic tank
>
>"Eww this stinks" said Rotor
>"Ah oui es ees STEEEEEENNNNNNKKKKKKKKAAAAYYYYYYY"
>Antoinne anoyyingly said "PA-HEW-PHEEEWWW-AHEEEWWWWWW--
WOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWSPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEENNNNNN
NEEEEEEEAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWBOWWWWWWW!
That's about as much sense as it makes to me.
>"SHUTUP!" said Sally
Well said!
>"Well wouldya all look at that what I found in the doody
>it's Geoffry St. George's dead body!" said Bunnie
_Still_ observant after a year!
>"Oh my God! They already killed Geoffry!" said Rotor
"Oh hang, that's OK. Go ahead." Rotor said, contradicting himself.
>"THOSE BASTARDS!" said Tails
>"Heh, I gave him a grave at sea or something" smiled
>sally "You know like you do with dead fish, flush them
>or something, well he smelled like fish, anyways, i'll
>just stop talking because i found a way out, a way out
>well lets go then shall we come on i don't have all day
>hup two three four lets go march march...."
I really don't know what I can MiST there, I think it's MiSTED enough
itself...
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
>
>Death Egg control room
>
>Robotnik: Ha hah....welcome to the Sonic Gets Killed
>Show
What an inventive and original idea for a TV Show!
>, the show where sonic gets killed. I'm your host
>Ivo Robotnik.
He's not even a Doctor now? =o
><swat bots clap>
From this sequence onwards, the Daleks have hands attachted to them,
now, they may be able to get up the stairs.
>Sonic is tied to a SWAT missle
>"Wow I haven't seen one of these in a while" Sonic said
Yeah, since Part 1! Nostolgia!
>Robotnik: And here is the suit that I confiscated from
>the hedgehog. Woo, classy suit. Who are you the suitman.
Na, he's just a member of the MBI, remember? Oh hang on, they won't
let you remember...
>Well looke here It's suithog sonic. Always wering a
>suit, what no tie don't make me laugh! ha...ha.....HA!
I do enjoy the hysterical laughs in this show!
>Bob Prower blasts down the door with his shotgun!
>Sonic: Bob!
Bob: Yep! It's a grammer change again, hold still while I kick
everyone's ass with my SuperHyperUltraMegaDuperLooperIncredible Gun!
>Bob shoots robotnik in the metal arm
>Robotnik: Ow! ARRRGgg!!!
This is reminding me of Terminator now.
>Bob frees Sonic
That was a quick show!
>Robotnik turns his arm into a gun and shoots at them
>Robotnik: Snivley Grounder Scratch KILL THAT HEDGEHOG
>AND THAT FOX!!!!
They died a year ago, remember?
>Grounder: Huh
>BLAM
>Grounder: uuhhhhh <KABOOOMMM!!!>
>Scratch: Heh heh <lights fuse on a bomb>
>Bob shoots the bomb
>KABLAM
>Scratch: heh dead
>Snivley: Um, I'll just be going now
>Bob shoots Snivley, Snivley goes flying thorugh a glass
>window and falls down from the top of the death egg
>*splat*
What the hell was that all about, sorry, no MiSTING can be done there,
it makes no sense to anyone.
>Sonic: It's wheel of fortune! I'm Pat Sajack the
>hedgehog and the category is DEAD FAT GUYS! I'd like to
>buy an R for YOU BUTTNIK!
I've not seen the American Wheel Of Fortune so I can't comment.
>Sonic spins
>Robotnik dodges and shoots sonic
>Sonic: BR-GAAAK! oof
Sonic: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH! Ow, that hurt.
>Bob: That ain't nice
>Bob shoots Robotnik
>Robotnik: Ow....I'm dead! no!
What an orginal and inventive ending!
>The rest of the freedom fighters arrive
Just in time to see him die!
>"Hey we're on TV!" said Sonic
Really?! Cool!
>"Hi Mom!" said Rotor
>"Uhh rotor your Mom's robotocized" said Sonic
>"waah" said Rotor
<sarcasm>
What a heavy emotional *sniff*... waah.
</sarcasm>
>"Oh by the way" said Bob "We better skeedaddle cuz I put
>a penny in the reactor core as a joke and it's gonna
>essplode any time now"
Essplode? What's that? Where a bunch of Snakes destroy something? Or
is it linked with 42?
>KKKKAAAAAABBOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! ROBOTROPOLIS BLOWS UP!
I can't hear you, what? You'll have to shout a bit louder.
>Luckily Sonic and the Freedom Fighters escaped with time
>to spare.
Wahey everyone's happy.
>
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
We're near the end now, prepare to get nervous...
>
>Mobius TV Station
>
>Bob is fixing the TV antenna
>"hey stupid" bob said to tails "pass me a hammer"
>Tails threw a hammer at Bob.
>BoNk! "Ouch!" said bob as the hammer hit him in the
>head. Then the antenna fell over.
>"That's the third time today" said Sonic
>"Get this offa me ya lazy git" said Bob trapped under
>the antenna. Tails helped him get out.
What a completely crap and unMiSTable bit.
>"Oh sonic" said Sally "I read your email and, you
>know......"
><Sonic> cybersex? :)
><Sally> Oh sonic ;)
>"TAILS YA FRICKIN IDIOT STOP THROWING THOSE AT MY HEAD,
>WHAT ARE YA AIMING FOR IT OR SOMETHING?" yelled Bob
>"Yeah" said Tails
>"Why ya little" said Bob
>
Again, what a crap and unMiSTable bit.
>{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
VERY nervous!
>
>Knotohole Villige
>
>Bob is leaving the freedom fighters
Waah.
>" I must leave now" said bob
<sarcasm>
What a heavy emotional scene.
</sarcasm>
>"Will we see you again?" said Tails
>"I focking hope not" said Bob
"FOCKING WELL FOCK OFF BOB!" Tails screamed.
>Then he left and Sonic and Tails went to watch TV.
>"Well now the TV stations back up and we won't have to
>watch Robot Melrose Place anymore" said SOnic
What an inventive and orginal TV show title!
>"Cool, Furry South Park is on" said Tails
What a crappy and unoriginal TV show title.
>"Remember when I was telling you how life was like TV?"
>Tails said
>"Yep" said Sonic
>Geoffrey St. George was standing by the window of the
>hut
He's dead though!
>Tails pulled out a gun and shot geoffrey.
He's dead again, until next episode.
>Rotor stopped
>whatever he was doing and broke down the door of sonic's
>hut in emergency.
HE FELL THROUGH THE ROOF WITH A MUG OF COFFEE IN HIS HAND WHICH WAS
SPILT OVER HIS CYBERSUIT!
>"Oh my God! <pant pnat> i had to go all the way across
>the villiage to get here <pant pant> They Killed
>Geoffrey!" said Rotor
Geoffrey infestation! HELP!
>"YOU BASTARDS!" said Tails
>
>Furry Stan: Oh my God they Killed kenny the rabbit!
>Furry Kyle: You bastards!
>
>"Oh now I get it!" said Sonic
Well I don't so fock off.
>
>THE END
>
>In Robotropolis Robotnik pulled himself out of a pile of
>scrap metal
>"Woah." said Robotnik "It's a good thing I wasn't really
>dead, or I'd be dead now"
>"yes sir, very good sir" said Snivley
>"But tommorrow is another day" said Robotnik "Another
>chance to kill that hedgehog!"
>
Indeed, and that brings an end to this MiST.
I'd like to thank:
SONIC FAN
for creating such an easy-to-MiST story.
Mach H. Hedgehog and Mark Palenik
for inspiration.
GenFluke
for the GreenDay CD joke.
EastEnders
for creating two of the most bickery (???) characters ever made.
Louis J.M
for no reason whatsoever.
Thank you for reading! If you've read this far, then you've wasted a
hell of a lot of time.
Or something.
Outta here.
--
Sonikku
ANTI SPAM - REPLY TO SONI...@CABLEOL.CO.UK
--
=========================================
Sonikku, president of Sonic Team Junior.
Website: http://www.andromedo/aj/stjr/stjrmain.htm
=========================================
SONIC3K LEVEL SELECT (aka 'SWINGING VINE') CODE:
Goto the Angel Island Zone, leap on the first vine
and press Left, Left, Left, Right, Right, Right, Up,
Up, Up.
Goto the Sound Test menu on the Title Screen
Goto the Mushroom Hill Zone, on the first pulley
enter the above code.
TimeStones
>only made Sonic be the hero, and you didn't let the other FF's get a
>chance to fight Robotnik. I did like the bit about Ken Penders being the
>villain. But you shouldn't have put Snively in it! Do you like him or
>something?
>
> What I would've done if I were you, I for one would've excluded Snively,
>and made Sonic, Tails, and the rest work as a team to be superheroes, like
>they did in the comics and cartoons. Just a little friendly advice. :)
>
Uhh..... Joya? Mario isn't the only one who seems to be the only one who's the
hero when it comes to games and stuff. I mean, there's Earthworm Jim, Mega Man
(all three versions) Bomber Man, Gex, Bug! (I think), Sparkster, Bubsy, and the
list goes on and on and on and on.................................
Quote of the week:
"Damn! How could I loose to a weakling like you!?"-Jello Man (aka Double)
**** **** * * ***
** * TimeStones* * *
** *** *** ***
* *** -Warrior of time and all time realities.
TimeStones
>>
>>Tails is playing pinball
>
>
why? I mean, pinball is cool and all, but I hardly see it in the arcades
anymore. I mean, It's not like they'd have a pinball machine, so why not get a
bit more updated with your out of character responses and have do something
that'd be hi tech to us. I mean they could play:
Virtua Fighter 3
Marvel vs. Capcom
Virtual On 2
Sonic Championship
and the list goes on and on and on....
Aechla
>
> >>Arcade
> >>
> >>Tails is playing pinball
> >
> >
>
> anymore. I mean, It's not like they'd have a pinball machine, so why not get a
> bit more updated with your out of character responses and have do something
> that'd be hi tech to us. I mean they could play:
>
> Virtua Fighter 3
> Marvel vs. Capcom
> Virtual On 2
> Sonic Championship
Uh, no? Do they have video games on Mobius? Do they have *time* for
video games on Mobius? Sorry, but somehow I doubt it.
Aechla
Mark Palenik
TimeStones wrote: >>Arcade
> >>
> >>Tails is playing pinball
> >
> >
>
> why? I mean, pinball is cool and all, but I hardly see it in the arcades
> anymore. I mean, It's not like they'd have a pinball machine, so why not get a
> bit more updated with your out of character responses and have do something
> that'd be hi tech to us. I mean they could play:
>
> Virtua Fighter 3
> Marvel vs. Capcom
> Virtual On 2
> Sonic Championship
>
> and the list goes on and on and on....
> **** **** * * ***
> ** * TimeStones* * *
> ** *** *** ***
> * *** -Warrior of time and all time realities.
Was that REALLY the best constructive criticism that you could give him?
Sparrow
>
> Uh, no? Do they have video games on Mobius? Do they have *time* for
> video games on Mobius? Sorry, but somehow I doubt it.
>
> Aechla
As for the time, I'd imagine that likely, they do have it. I mean, you
can't possibly assume that the FFs (I'm NOT going to type Freedom
Fighters out.. wait a minute.... doh!) spend all of their time planning
and executing missions. As dangerous as they are, if they did, you'd
hardly expect to see half of them anymore.
MachHedge
>video games on Mobius? Sorry, but somehow I doubt it.
>
>Aechla
Well, they also have South park, Bevis And Butthead, Mountain Dew, So OOC kinda
stuff just kinda fits in nicely.
Mach H. Hedgehog,
Pointless thingy of the un-determined amount of time:
"Are you stark raving Naked!?!" -Antione
TimeStones
No. I can do better. I just didn't want too. (Sonic FAN runs up to Timestones
with a sledg hammer and the two start fighting again.) BTW: Sonikku, I thought
you were going to destroy the
((((((((((((())))))))))))/{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}
with the chainsaw at the end. Why didn't you?
Aechla
>
> Aechla wrote:
> >
> > Uh, no? Do they have video games on Mobius? Do they have *time* for
> > video games on Mobius? Sorry, but somehow I doubt it.
> >
> > Aechla
>
> can't possibly assume that the FFs (I'm NOT going to type Freedom
> Fighters out.. wait a minute.... doh!) spend all of their time planning
> and executing missions. As dangerous as they are, if they did, you'd
> hardly expect to see half of them anymore.
Okay, so maybe they do have the time for relaxation or entertainment,
but I still don't think they'd have videogames. Think about it; if
they're going on missions and things where they have to be physically
fit, they aren't gonna be plopped in front of a screen playing games all
the time.
Remember how Tails was playing slapstick in the one SatAM episode with
that 'Terrapod' thing named Baby-T? That makes sense. #1:They need to
constantly 'tough up'. Games involving physical exercise would do that.
#2:They don't have too much teched up stuff, so why would they waste the
computer space they did have on computer games? #3:Does Sonic look like
he has the attention span to sit in front of a computer console to play
video games? :)
Aechla
Sparrow
>
> Okay, so maybe they do have the time for relaxation or entertainment,
They'd probably go nuts if they didn't.
> but I still don't think they'd have videogames. Think about it; if
> they're going on missions and things where they have to be physically
> fit, they aren't gonna be plopped in front of a screen playing games all
> the time.
True. Although, I spend most of my waking hours in front of my computer
(future game programmer, I am) and I still think I could handle some of the
minor aspects of a FF mission. However, I will agree on what you are thinking
(I KNOW this is what you're thinking) and agree in advance that they still
need good physical condition and missions aren't all "minor aspects" :)
>
> Remember how Tails was playing slapstick in the one SatAM episode with
> that 'Terrapod' thing named Baby-T? That makes sense. #1:They need to
> constantly 'tough up'. Games involving physical exercise would do that.
> #2:They don't have too much teched up stuff, so why would they waste the
> computer space they did have on computer games?
Hey, I do it...
> #3:Does Sonic look like
> he has the attention span to sit in front of a computer console to play
> video games? :)
Does he look like he has the attention span for much of anything?
-Kiefinorg. Er, I mean Sparrow.
K. Ivan Ruppert
>Sparrow wrote:
> #3:Does Sonic look likehe has the attention span to sit in front of a computer console to play
>video games? :)
>
>Aechla
Waitamin... *I* don't have the attention span to.... Oooooooooh...
Wuzat?
K.Ivan :):):)