[AFSH] Fan Fiction Hell
Donbaddame
{{scene}}
At the AFSH cafeteria, we see all the formal people bound to be found in AFSH.
There is Mach, Jose, Miyasha, Allesandro, Dirk, Fred, and Gen. All of them are
sitting down, but Mach and Dirk, who were getting their food, on their favorite
meet spot: The center table.
Jose: Oooh. Lunchables!!!
Miyasha: I see you're making fun of lunch, huh Jose?
<<laughter between the group, except for Jose>>
Jose: Nope. I can't even prepare my own lunch.
Miyasha: Yea, right.
Jose: No, seriously, I can't.
<<longish pause>>
Jose: What?
Miyasha: Oh... nothing.
Fred: Man, everything's been going so slow around here.
Miyasha: Everything but Cypher's annoyance's.
Jose: Mmm. Pizza sauce.
Allesandro: Hey hey hey!!! Cypher has NOTHING to do with Sonic, here. Let's
keep him out of the way.
<<Mach sits down>>
Mach: Hey, how's it going?
Everyone: Hi, Mach.
Miyasha: Ewww... Taco Bell?!?
Jose: Eww. <<chews on his pizza>>
Mach: Yep. I was pretty hungry.
<<*!MOO!*>>
<<Everyone turns their heads and sees a cow being carried down the way>>
Mach: The HECK?
Jose: Um... that's Dirk and his lunch.
Miyasha: Oy, won't he stop?
Allesandro: He still hasn't gotten it through his head that cows got nothing to
do with Sonic!!
<<Everyone looks at Allesandro and smack their head on the table mumbling
"Oy">>
Allesandro: Hey, it's true!
<<Nat comes and sits down>>
Nat: Hi all! <<has a big smile on her face>>
<<Dirk drops the cow on the Nat. Nat's dead>>
<<*!MOO!*>>
Dirk: Sup guys? <<sits down and chops off the cow's head and slurps it down>>
Everyone: Awwweee!
Mach: That's sick.
Allesandro: Yes, it really is. Plus, it has nothing to do with...
Everyone: SHUT UP, ALLESANDRO!
Allesandro: ... with... your stupid advertising!!
Dirk: But I haven't advertised in like...
Allesandro: Don't start with me!
Dirk: <<raises and eyebrow>> Um...
<<All of a sudden Danehog rushes in, screamin out>>
Danehog: GUYS GUYS!!!
Jose: WHAT WHAT?
Danehog: The AFHS HQ is piled up with papers!!
Mach: Papers?!? The HECK?
Miyasha: We should go check it out!
<<Everyone gets up and begins to rush out the cafeteria as Swifty is walking in
with his Burger King food>>
Swifty: Hi guys- ACK!! <<falls back as everyone pushes him aside to get to AFSH
HQ>>
Jose: Who was that?
Mach: Who?
Jose: What?
Mach: You asked me about who someone was?
Jose: I did?
Mach: You did.
Jose: I'm still hungry. <<rushes back for a quick bite of his pizza and returns
to the group>> WAIT UP!
{{scene}}
Outside of the doors to AFSH HQ, the doors seem to be bulging outward. Papers
can be seen trying to be freed by the cracks of the door.
Dirk: Oh my GOD!!! I LEFT MY KNUX IN CHINA LAND BETA CARTRIDGE IN THERE!!!
Jose: <<slaps dirk>> SNAP OUT OF IT, MAN!
Dirk: <<calms down>> Thanks.
Jose: <<slaps dirk once more>>
Dirk: <<rubbing his face>> What the fock was THAT one for?
Jose: So you can snap out of it.
Dirk: I already did.
Jose: <<shaking his head>> No you didn't. You're still Dirk. <<slaps Dirk
again>>
Miyasha: Cut it out!! Now!!
Mach: Why? This is actually quite entertaining. <<slaps Dirk>> Hey, it's fun,
too!
Jose and Mach: <<slaps Dirk>>
Dirk: AH! Stop it! Seriously!!
<<Just then, they hear evil laughter>>
Danehog: <<gasps>> Great Scott!! What was that?!?
Mach: I have no-- great Scott?
Danehog: Yea, why? <<walks evily towards mach and his eyes turn red. His voice
is just pure evil>> ~~YoU hAvE a PrObLeM wItH tHaT?!?~~
Mach: Um... <<voice cracks>> no.
Danehog: <<back to his normal self>> Ok, cool. <<smiles and turns around to
re-inspect the door>>
Mach: <<murmuring>> Excuse me while Danehog goes insane.
<<Everyone but Danehog chuckle>>
Danehog: What?
Mach: Oh nothing.
<<The evil laughter person clears his throat as in being rudely interupted, and
laughs even louder, as in to catch everones attention>>
Jose: Oh yea, that... AHH!
Dirk: Who -IS- that?
Miyasha: <<puts hand over her forehead to block the sun as she looked up>> Oh
no.
Dirk: What?
Miyasha: *sigh* It's SonicFan.
Everyone: Oh no.
SonicFan: Owh know es korrekt!! Yeuw weell awul sulfur ueeth maey feng fcshan.
Mach: That's one focked up bad guy, here.
SonicFan: Yeuw there mack mi? Eye chaul aff two cill yeuw awul no!!
Jose: <<with an eyebrow raised>> What he say?
Miyasha: Who knows... hey! Where'd Dirk go?
Gen: He said something about going back for seconds.
Fred: Yeah. It seems this guy never ends.
Mach: Well -now- you two notice?
Fred: I've known it before.
Gen: <<shamefully with his head down>> ... yea.
Mach and Fred: Tsk tsk tsk.
<<*!MOO!*>>
<<A cow rams into SonicFan, hurling him 100 yards across the sky. Dirk quickly
snatches the cow, and slurps it dowm>>
Dirk: Damn! These things are hard to catch!!
Jose: <<smacks his forehead>> Oh the irony.
Gen: Maybe, but we still couldn't decode what SonicFan was trying to tell us!
Danehog: That CRAP is DECODABLE?!?
Gen: What, it isn't?
Mach, Fred, and Danehog: Tsk tsk tsk.
A voice: MMMMHMMELMMP!
Jose: What was that?
A voice: MMHEMMLP MMEM MMGODMMDMMAMMITMM!!
<<there's banging on the door>>
Danehog: It's coming from inside!!!
Jose: Well, DOIH! It's right above us. "<<there's banging on the door>>" you
idiot!
Danehog: Sorry.
<<there's a huge rumble>>
Mach: Holy crap!!
Jose: The door's gonna blow!!!
<<Ally comes running by>>
Ally: What's going on...?
Danehog: DUCK!
<<Everyone leaps out of the doors way as it bursts and flies toward Ally. The
door makes contact with Ally and makes its way to the wall across from the
door, flattening Ally to her death>>
Mach: Oh my God! They killed Ally!!
Everyone: Hur-ray!
<<Some paper washes out>>
Jose: Damn! Thas alotta paper!
Mach: <<picks up a sheet>> What the HECK? <<reads out loud>> "Sonic Fights
Robotnink 1" What's this doing here?
Danehog: <<picks up a sheet>> "Sonic Fights Robotnik 4?" Hmm... <<picks up a
sheet after another>> "Sonic Fights Robotnik 8"... 10... 46... 89... 2012? What
the hell?!?
Miyasha: These are all of Sonic Fans series!
Gen: Man. That guy has WAY too much time on his hand.
Fred: SonicFan's a he?
Gen: I dunno really. I'm just identifying SonicFan as a he.
Jose: I always tend to call SonicFan a "it."
Mach: It's "an it."
Jose: That's what I said.
Mach: I'm talking about your grammer.
Jose: What about my grandma?
Mach: *sigh* <<reaches in his pocket>> I'll play you some Pokemon!
Jose: You're on!!
Allesandro: HEY!!! I thought I said that...
<<Papers drop suddenly on Allesandro, giving him huge, dreadful paper cuts.
Within seconds, Allesandro loses all his blood, leaving him with his last
words...>>
Allesandro: <<gasping>> Damn you... SonicFan...
<<Allesandro dies>>
Miyasha: Since when does a non-newbie die in one of these long, sensible to
read, funny, AFSH fan fictions?
Fred: Don't suck up to Frappe. Plus, the readers ain't buying that worthless
attempt.
Miyasha: <<shamefully>> I'm sorry.
Danehog: Wasn't there someone trapped in there?
Gen: Oh yea... all I could make sense out of that was "help."
Jose: Yea I also noted a "God dammit" the second time.
Mach: True. It was spoken so clearly.
Fred: And he or she is stuck in a room filled with paper, and slowly
sufficating.
Miyasha: Yeah, I too, could tell what that guy said.
Danehog: Something SonicFan will take a while to do.
Everyone: <<lauging>>
Danehog: I think we should start digging through this paper.
Fred: Yeah. We should get that person outta there.
Danehog: No way dude. Not that. If we don't, we don't have a place to stay!
<<longish pause>>
Everyone: Yea yea, that's true.
Several hours and cows later <<"DIRK!">>
{{scene}}
There's only one small pile of fan fics left. Jose picks up a couple of sheets
and reads their titles.
Jose: Hey! These are MY fan fics.
Danehog: <<grabs a few>> Yeah... these are my series, too!
Mach: <<checks some more>> Hey. These are all of OUR fan fics.
<<As more papers are taken from the pile, a hand is seen>>
Dirk: It's the guy who was stuck inside!!! <<pulls on the hand>>
Everyone: <<gasps>> Frappe!!!
Frappe: It's about motherf*bleep*ing time!!! What took all of you so long.
Jose: Your bad writing.
<<Everyone laughs>>
Mach: How'd all of this happen?
Frappe: Well, since the place was empty, I decided to just have a look around
at some of the posts. Then I noticed the fan fic's in that one drawer. I pulled
out and read each one, one by one. Each one getting Dumber and less humurous
than the last! Most of these consisted of... <<notices an open yawn from
everyone>>. Anyway, SonicFan had seen these and thought it was a perfect
opportunity to f*bleep* us all up with this. Therefore he opened the sunroof...
Danehog: We don't HAVE a sunroof.
<<longish pause>>
Frappe: We do now. He blasted it. Anyway, to f*bleep* us all up, SonicFan
dropped in all his 78,962 episodes of his senseless series through the sunroof.
I apparently was inside at the time, listening to our collection of Midi's with
some headphones, and I got buried inside.
Miyasha: SonicFan DEFENITELY has too much time in his hands!!
Frappe: Tell me about it.
Mach: What startles me is, how the fock did you get all intellectual all of a
sudden?
Frappe: Who?
Mach: You!
Frappe: What about me?
Mach: Oy! No! It always happens to ME, doesn't it???
After a few minutes, they all leave AFSH HQ to hear what eachother thought
about the wierd adventure... if it was one... that they had today. Suddenly,
someone enters.
Swifty: Hello?!? <<echo>> Is anybody in here? Why were you all in a hurry??
Hello?!? You guys knocked me unconsious!!! HEY!!! <<a can of spam falls on
Swifty>> Hmm? Spam?
<<Evil laughter is heard>>
Swifty: <<looks up>> *GASP* NO!!! NO!!! NOT YOU!!! NOT ROB CYPH-ARGH!!!! <<cans
of spam fall Swifty, filling up the AFSH HQ, the doors locked and all.
RobCypher: <<evil laughter>> I -AM- God!!! And I will make everyone f*bleep* a
pig!!! <<evil laughter>>
The End?
<<*!MOO!*>>
Frappe the Flatuating Fox:
"Ain't I a bitch?"
/\/\/\Official Member/\/\/\
of
~~AFSH Stupid Brigade~~
----------------------------------------
(Gassious-Fartius-Foxosus)
----------------------------------------
Fred
wrote:
<snip>
>Frappe: Tell me about it.
>Mach: What startles me is, how the fock did you get all intellectual all of a
>sudden?
>Frappe: Who?
>Mach: You!
>Frappe: What about me?
>Mach: Oy! No! It always happens to ME, doesn't it???
>
>After a few minutes, they all leave AFSH HQ to hear what eachother thought
>about the wierd adventure... if it was one... that they had today. Suddenly,
>someone enters.
>
>Swifty: Hello?!? <<echo>> Is anybody in here? Why were you all in a hurry??
>Hello?!? You guys knocked me unconsious!!! HEY!!! <<a can of spam falls on
>Swifty>> Hmm? Spam?
>
><<Evil laughter is heard>>
>
>Swifty: <<looks up>> *GASP* NO!!! NO!!! NOT YOU!!! NOT ROB CYPH-ARGH!!!! <<cans
>of spam fall Swifty, filling up the AFSH HQ, the doors locked and all.
>RobCypher: <<evil laughter>> I -AM- God!!! And I will make everyone f*bleep* a
>pig!!! <<evil laughter>>
>
>The End?
>
><<*!MOO!*>>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! That was f*bleep*ing funny!
>
>Frappe the Flatuating Fox:
>"Ain't I a bitch?"
>/\/\/\Official Member/\/\/\
> of
>~~AFSH Stupid Brigade~~
>----------------------------------------
>(Gassious-Fartius-Foxosus)
>----------------------------------------
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
from the computer of
Fred E. L.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
WHERE'S THE FOOD???!!!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
XxDumazzxx
>Jose: Oooh. Lunchables!!!
>Miyasha: I see you're making fun of lunch, huh Jose?
><<laughter between the group, except for Jose>>
>Jose: Nope. I can't even prepare my own lunch.
>Miyasha: Yea, right.
>Jose: No, seriously, I can't.
>
><<longish pause>>
Wow. Is he really THAT stupid?
Swifty Hedgehog:
Hedgehog without a signature.
**~~v^v^v^Official Member of the Stupid Brigade^v^v^v~~**
JSolano199
In real life I'm a lot smarter than that. I'm just an idiot compared to
everyone else in my grade level (Argh!! I failed a year and their STILL smarter
than me!!)
Jose Solano
--------------------------------------
Official Member of the AFSH Stupid Brigade
--------------------------------------
Visit the Pikachu Death Gallery
http://www.yoda.pagehub.com
XxDumazzxx
>than me!!
Don't you just HATE it when that happens? I failed a class and repeated it, and
I still get those motha' fockin C's! (pardon my foreign language, cuz I KNOW it
ain't french)
Donbaddame
Um... I'm taking that as a REAL comment.
Danehog
[snip]
That was pretty funny, though I CANNOT believe I read the whole thing...
Excuse me while I go insane,
Danehog
--
"You Son Of A Can Opener!"
-Sonic The Hedgehog
--
--------------------------------------------------
Official Member Of The AFSH Stupid Brigade!
--------------------------------------------------