Is that Steve Leyland? Grant's allus saying Steve's got ginger hair...
and is that Grant with a long black wig on?
I think we're onto something.
he 'da got away with it if it wasn't for that ridiculous false 'tache...
I'll never be able to look at an old biddie again.
You won't have much choice. Yer not getting any younger.
it's not that fucking bad, you can get some good lookers in their late 30's.
The expensive ones iykwim
I have to admit...
> The expensive ones iykwim
...I didn't see that one coming!! ROFL.
Y'know, this is another one of those subtle little hints that let you know
yer not getting any younger...Remember that 'shagging an older woman'
fantasy we had when we were in our teens/early twenties...it's now turned
into a 'shagging a woman who's no more than five years older than me'
fantasy! She might've been 39 when I was twenty but now she's drawing her
fucking pension. Hell no!
we've come to the line in the sand dude, the older women fantasy has to
be forgotten.
I've seen girls my age that were stunners back in the day who now look
like car wrecks.
Sad but right. Even a 50 year old is only 7 years older than me. Bugger.
> I've seen girls my age that were stunners back in the day who now look
> like car wrecks.
Heh, it's our turn to turn down all those stunners who turned us down when
we were young...Sorry luv, y' had yer chance.
It's suddenly crept up, for the first time i'm seriously worried.
>
>> I've seen girls my age that were stunners back in the day who now look
>> like car wrecks.
>
> Heh, it's our turn to turn down all those stunners who turned us down
> when we were young...Sorry luv, y' had yer chance.
Not quiet true, I messaged some bird off friends reunited and got
Jackshit back, so i'm not at that point yet.
Yeah, that's how it got me...
>>> I've seen girls my age that were stunners back in the day who now look
>>> like car wrecks.
>>
>> Heh, it's our turn to turn down all those stunners who turned us down
>> when we were young...Sorry luv, y' had yer chance.
>
> Not quiet true, I messaged some bird off friends reunited and got Jackshit
> back, so i'm not at that point yet.
Oh yeah, same here. I'm just saying *when* it happens we'll be able to say
"sorry luv, y' had yer chance".
Yeah, and you'll be wearing jeans with an elastic waistband at this time.
They're very comfortable. Comfort or style... I'd go for comfort anyday.
See, styles not so important when one's as devilishly handsome as I is. I
have wimmin in their thousands falling at my feet. I'm sure it's just
coincidence they're all fat and ugly. Obviously all the fit ones can't get
to me because the mountain of ugly fat birds is too big for 'em to clamber
over. That's all it is...
It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
You could have a harem. A porgy of overweight heffers off each arm as
you walk down the high street.
You get nice dinners though, so it might be worth thinking about.
If you pull skinny bints you'll end up with nut cutlets for your scran.
>
> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
yeah. Oh dear.
Yeah, as always when it comes to wimmen yer spot on. Y' gotta get the
balance just right. I'd say a C or a D cup and a love of bacon buttys is
ideal. Doesn't matter how pretty a girl could be, if she don't like chicken
chow mein then she's no good for me.
I know it'll never happen but I dream of finding a chick that takes three
sugars in her tea *and* coffee same as me. The joy of been able to make a
brew without having to remember how many fucking sugars they take would be
heaven, it really would.
>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>
> yeah. Oh dear.
Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You probably will
have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny shit on t' internet.
If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
We need some noise. I know, I'll play the recorder. If anyone knows
Jesus' Hands Are Kind Hands, feel free to join in...
<tumbleweed>
But wouldn't she have to make the tea every time though?
I thought that was the deal.
Don't tell me that you have to make the tea when you're married?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
>
>>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>>
>> yeah. Oh dear.
>
> Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You probably
> will have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny shit on t'
> internet. If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
great stuff, tottenham fucking hotspur. I'd hadn't seen that before.
i'll play the triangle. Clarkee can play the dinner gong
Hey baby doll!! Yer back!! Hello!! Fuck off with yer recorder tho',
eh!!
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Oh no!! They make the tea for the first couple of months then before you
know it they pile on 4 stone and never make a fucking brew ever again.
Fuckers.
>>>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>>>
>>> yeah. Oh dear.
>>
>> Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You probably
>> will have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny shit on t'
>> internet. If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
>
> great stuff, tottenham fucking hotspur. I'd hadn't seen that before.
I love the footy ones. I had the Leicester ones taken off tho' just for you
cos yer my mate and nobody should have to hear shit like that about their
fave team.
"Back" is possibly somewhat of an exaggeration. But for 'lurking with
intent' I am guilty as charged, yer honour.
Okay, so you ain't into Jesus' Hands Are Kind Hands - how 'bout if I
call it Au Clair de la Lune and play it in a different key?
PS - sorry, Mick. I know you replied but can't reply to you because i
had my stoopid newsreader (set up by a stoopid reader of news) set to
mash all read posts when I closed it down :(
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>
That'll do for me ;-)
> Okay, so you ain't into Jesus' Hands Are Kind Hands - how 'bout if I
> call it Au Clair de la Lune and play it in a different key?
That'll do for me ;-)
> PS - sorry, Mick. I know you replied but can't reply to you because i
> had my stoopid newsreader (set up by a stoopid reader of news) set to
> mash all read posts when I closed it down :(
That'll d... Oh no, that won't do at all. Get yerslef sorted out
otherwise Micky won't let you shag him.
What? that's killed any romantic notion I might've had about settling
down in a responsible manner.
>
>
>>>>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>>>>
>>>> yeah. Oh dear.
>>>
>>> Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You
>>> probably will have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny
>>> shit on t' internet. If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
>>
>> great stuff, tottenham fucking hotspur. I'd hadn't seen that before.
>
> I love the footy ones. I had the Leicester ones taken off tho' just for
> you cos yer my mate and nobody should have to hear shit like that about
> their fave team.
No leicester ones coz we're top of the league. Might not be the right
league but not to worry.
Well.
There's one born every minute.
>
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>
That's the spirit! Don't let the inevitable happen. Fight the urge to
settle down, headbut marriage into touch. You can do it. We're there for
ya!!
>>>>>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>>>>>
>>>>> yeah. Oh dear.
>>>>
>>>> Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You probably
>>>> will have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny shit on t'
>>>> internet. If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
>>>
>>> great stuff, tottenham fucking hotspur. I'd hadn't seen that before.
>>
>> I love the footy ones. I had the Leicester ones taken off tho' just for
>> you cos yer my mate and nobody should have to hear shit like that about
>> their fave team.
>
> No leicester ones coz we're top of the league. Might not be the right
> league but not to worry.
That must be one of the unexpected pleasures having Leeds right in there
with ya. You can close yer eyes when y' play each other and pretend it's
still a premiership clash, nothing's changed and the last few years have
just been a bad dream.
Must make a nice little hidey-hole from reality. Course, the only drawback
is that Leeds fans benefit from this too.
I'm a free spirit, I can't be chained, that's it, i'm taking myself off
the market!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!
>
>>>>>>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> yeah. Oh dear.
>>>>>
>>>>> Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You
>>>>> probably will have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny
>>>>> shit on t' internet. If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
>>>>
>>>> great stuff, tottenham fucking hotspur. I'd hadn't seen that before.
>>>
>>> I love the footy ones. I had the Leicester ones taken off tho' just
>>> for you cos yer my mate and nobody should have to hear shit like that
>>> about their fave team.
>>
>> No leicester ones coz we're top of the league. Might not be the right
>> league but not to worry.
>
> That must be one of the unexpected pleasures having Leeds right in there
> with ya. You can close yer eyes when y' play each other and pretend it's
> still a premiership clash, nothing's changed and the last few years have
> just been a bad dream.
> Must make a nice little hidey-hole from reality. Course, the only
> drawback is that Leeds fans benefit from this too.
It means they can come to leicester and sing 'you're just a town of
pakis' like they used to.
Cheeky fuckers, who do they think they are?
Yeah!! Y' do right! And if they start moaning about it then they've only
got themselves to blame!!
Until they start to put their man first and foremost in their lives, then
blokes like us are just gonna keep saying NO!
We've given in to 'em left right and fucking centre for far too long.
We should start the rise of mens lib now. Mens Lib for a 'wo free' life!!
Yeah!!
>>>>>>>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> yeah. Oh dear.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You
>>>>>> probably will have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny
>>>>>> shit on t' internet. If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
>>>>>
>>>>> great stuff, tottenham fucking hotspur. I'd hadn't seen that before.
>>>>
>>>> I love the footy ones. I had the Leicester ones taken off tho' just
>>>> for you cos yer my mate and nobody should have to hear shit like that
>>>> about their fave team.
>>>
>>> No leicester ones coz we're top of the league. Might not be the right
>>> league but not to worry.
>>
>> That must be one of the unexpected pleasures having Leeds right in there
>> with ya. You can close yer eyes when y' play each other and pretend it's
>> still a premiership clash, nothing's changed and the last few years have
>> just been a bad dream.
>> Must make a nice little hidey-hole from reality. Course, the only
>> drawback is that Leeds fans benefit from this too.
>
> It means they can come to leicester and sing 'you're just a town of pakis'
> like they used to.
> Cheeky fuckers, who do they think they are?
Well... not a bunch of pakis, that's for sure.
I need a seventies style wife.
One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
I want felicity kendall.
Not one of these new style wimmins who drink pints and expect everything
their own way.
>
>>>>>>>>> It's very quiet here in afs at the moment innit.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> yeah. Oh dear.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Have you seen any of those Hitler footy vids on YouTube? You
>>>>>>> probably will have I bet, I'm always the last one to see cool funny
>>>>>>> shit on t' internet. If you haven't, go have a look. Funny as fuck.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> great stuff, tottenham fucking hotspur. I'd hadn't seen that before.
>>>>>
>>>>> I love the footy ones. I had the Leicester ones taken off tho' just
>>>>> for you cos yer my mate and nobody should have to hear shit like that
>>>>> about their fave team.
>>>>
>>>> No leicester ones coz we're top of the league. Might not be the right
>>>> league but not to worry.
>>>
>>> That must be one of the unexpected pleasures having Leeds right in there
>>> with ya. You can close yer eyes when y' play each other and pretend it's
>>> still a premiership clash, nothing's changed and the last few years have
>>> just been a bad dream.
>>> Must make a nice little hidey-hole from reality. Course, the only
>>> drawback is that Leeds fans benefit from this too.
>>
>> It means they can come to leicester and sing 'you're just a town of
>> pakis'
>> like they used to.
>> Cheeky fuckers, who do they think they are?
>
> Well... not a bunch of pakis, that's for sure.
>
It's not as if there aren't any in Leeds ffs.
I saw one down the street from my house a few weeks ago wearing this
white robe thing and a white cap.
The imaginary machine gun on the top of my car was cracking a few off.
But not one 'in her seventies'. Very fucking important that.
> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
> I want felicity kendall.
Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
> Not one of these new style wimmins who drink pints and expect everything
> their own way.
It's not all bad I 'spose. Some of this wimmins lib ain't too bad. I don't
mind the ones that wanna go out and earn a crust like a fella does. I mean
they can, just so long as it doesn't get in the way of their housework and
child rearing responsibilities.
I bet it was!! The cheeky bastard walking around looking like the Klu Klux
Klan is *really* taking the fucking piss.
Fucking hell, the wife read that over me shoulder now she's asking if
I'll help her hunt you down and mince you, see what you've done?!
>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>> I want felicity kendall.
>
>Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
I'd thot you was a bit off.
--
keep your distance while sniffing my arse!
Oh yeah, I don't mean in the style of saggy stockings and smelling of
gin and carbolic soap.
>
>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>> I want felicity kendall.
>
> Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
You fuck off, I saw her first.
>
>> Not one of these new style wimmins who drink pints and expect
>> everything their own way.
>
> It's not all bad I 'spose. Some of this wimmins lib ain't too bad. I
> don't mind the ones that wanna go out and earn a crust like a fella
> does. I mean they can, just so long as it doesn't get in the way of
> their housework and child rearing responsibilities.
I wouldn't mind if she came home every month with 4k in her purse.
As long as I get some pin money.
Also if I can guard the sofa every day, i'd like that.
I've not seen the fucker since.
I was getting worried, you know how they move into areas.
Aw bless, look, tell her that that's obviously age specific innit.
Y'see, if I was 30... ...35, no ...37 years older and the same age as
she is, then I've no doubt I'd happily give her one** (usual 'Yeshag/noshag
guidelines as applicable, obv)
**And so would Mick
In fact, knowing Mick, he'll probably be up for a 3some with her and me.
So y 'see, no need for her to be getting all riled up now is there, eh?
Have you noticed how Ian (it is I for Ian innit?) Larfin's missus got really
angry at the "but not one 'in her seventies'" remark but hasn't said a word
about saggy stockings, smelling of gin and carbolic soap, eh? She must
fancy ya....
>>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>>> I want felicity kendall.
>>
>> Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
>
> You fuck off, I saw her first.
Too late...
>>> Not one of these new style wimmins who drink pints and expect everything
>>> their own way.
>>
>> It's not all bad I 'spose. Some of this wimmins lib ain't too bad. I
>> don't mind the ones that wanna go out and earn a crust like a fella does.
>> I mean they can, just so long as it doesn't get in the way of their
>> housework and child rearing responsibilities.
>
> I wouldn't mind if she came home every month with 4k in her purse.
> As long as I get some pin money.
> Also if I can guard the sofa every day, i'd like that.
Now that's a proper bird. Just the sort we're looking for. I'd even relax
my looks/figure guidelines for those sort of earnings.
Perhaps he already has and just wanted to fit in? I know a guy that tried
to join the N.F many years ago. Sorry, Mr Finburg, but no, they said.
don't involve me in an of your crazy fucked up antics. TIA.
How lucky I am. Still, I might get some home baked pies and decent fry ups.
>
>>>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>>>> I want felicity kendall.
>>>
>>> Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
>>
>> You fuck off, I saw her first.
>
> Too late...
Fuck. You've ruined her.
>
>>>> Not one of these new style wimmins who drink pints and expect
>>>> everything their own way.
>>>
>>> It's not all bad I 'spose. Some of this wimmins lib ain't too bad. I
>>> don't mind the ones that wanna go out and earn a crust like a fella
>>> does. I mean they can, just so long as it doesn't get in the way of
>>> their housework and child rearing responsibilities.
>>
>> I wouldn't mind if she came home every month with 4k in her purse.
>> As long as I get some pin money.
>> Also if I can guard the sofa every day, i'd like that.
>
> Now that's a proper bird. Just the sort we're looking for. I'd even
> relax my looks/figure guidelines for those sort of earnings.
Yes, you could up the threshold from 15 to 16 stone.
Whereas i'd up mine from 8 to 9 stone.
My mate's dad joined the BNP. It was really all my fault.
I just thought with Larfin's missus been up for it you mighta fancied a
romp...that's all...
Soz.
Oh yeah. I bet she uses real beef dripping to make fry ups and chips and
not none of this modern day rubbish like olive oil an what have you.
>>>>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>>>>> I want felicity kendall.
>>>>
>>>> Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
>>>
>>> You fuck off, I saw her first.
>>
>> Too late...
>
> Fuck. You've ruined her.
It's ok, I can get more photos of her
>>>>> Not one of these new style wimmins who drink pints and expect
>>>>> everything their own way.
>>>>
>>>> It's not all bad I 'spose. Some of this wimmins lib ain't too bad. I
>>>> don't mind the ones that wanna go out and earn a crust like a fella
>>>> does. I mean they can, just so long as it doesn't get in the way of
>>>> their housework and child rearing responsibilities.
>>>
>>> I wouldn't mind if she came home every month with 4k in her purse.
>>> As long as I get some pin money.
>>> Also if I can guard the sofa every day, i'd like that.
>>
>> Now that's a proper bird. Just the sort we're looking for. I'd even
>> relax my looks/figure guidelines for those sort of earnings.
>
> Yes, you could up the threshold from 15 to 16 stone.
> Whereas i'd up mine from 8 to 9 stone.
Yeah but yours is per leg. Likes 'em big don'tcha, eh...
I'm not surprised with hot chicks like this one in it!!
http://www.daylife.com/photo/07K3cqIcWv1Pl
Hell, where the fuck do I sign up??
Just a shame y' can't see her tits cos of all those microphones
It's not her that i'm worried about.
It's got aunt bessie's finest fanny batter on the packet, whatever that is.
>
>>>>>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>>>>>> I want felicity kendall.
>>>>>
>>>>> Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
>>>>
>>>> You fuck off, I saw her first.
>>>
>>> Too late...
>>
>> Fuck. You've ruined her.
>
> It's ok, I can get more photos of her
What about the taller buck toothed one?
>
>>>>>> Not one of these new style wimmins who drink pints and expect
>>>>>> everything their own way.
>>>>>
>>>>> It's not all bad I 'spose. Some of this wimmins lib ain't too bad.
>>>>> I don't mind the ones that wanna go out and earn a crust like a
>>>>> fella does. I mean they can, just so long as it doesn't get in the
>>>>> way of their housework and child rearing responsibilities.
>>>>
>>>> I wouldn't mind if she came home every month with 4k in her purse.
>>>> As long as I get some pin money.
>>>> Also if I can guard the sofa every day, i'd like that.
>>>
>>> Now that's a proper bird. Just the sort we're looking for. I'd even
>>> relax my looks/figure guidelines for those sort of earnings.
>>
>> Yes, you could up the threshold from 15 to 16 stone.
>> Whereas i'd up mine from 8 to 9 stone.
>
> Yeah but yours is per leg. Likes 'em big don'tcha, eh...
I did once have a rumble with a larger girl.
She was a lovely lass.
Well you first need a one way ticket to a county called bangledesh.
We'll sub you the money, in fact take the money it's yours.
Well who else can it be then? There's only you, her a...WHAT!! ME????
Fuck off. Don't worry, yer perfectly safe. Besides, there's no way your
arse would be tighter than her minge. Cheeky cunt.
>>> How lucky I am. Still, I might get some home baked pies and decent fry
>>> ups.
>>
>> Oh yeah. I bet she uses real beef dripping to make fry ups and chips and
>> not none of this modern day rubbish like olive oil an what have you.
>
> It's got aunt bessie's finest fanny batter on the packet, whatever that
> is.
Sounds like fish. I bet it's fish. Gotta be.
>>>>>>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>>>>>>> I want felicity kendall.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
>>>>>
>>>>> You fuck off, I saw her first.
>>>>
>>>> Too late...
>>>
>>> Fuck. You've ruined her.
>>
>> It's ok, I can get more photos of her
>
> What about the taller buck toothed one?
It's ok, you can wank over that one. I'll stick with Fliss.
Cool!! That's the country that's nextdoor to France and Portugal innit?
> We'll sub you the money, in fact take the money it's yours.
It's not like you to be so generous. Thanx dood. I'll never forget what
you've done to help me here *sniff*
You do realise that her nickname is Merlin? coz of the wizzard's sleeve?
Throwing a sausage in a bucket springs to mind here.
Oh yeah. That's why she likes to call my cock Excalibur.
> Throwing a sausage in a bucket springs to mind here.
'Cept with me it's like throwing a Mattesons smoked pork sausage into a pot
noodle pot. (You have to imagine the pot noodle pot is as big as a bucket
for this to work, mind)
Yes. I think you're right.
>
>>>>>>>> One who wears pretty dresses and makes wine out of elderberries.
>>>>>>>> I want felicity kendall.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Aww... fliss's arse. I'm off for a wank.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> You fuck off, I saw her first.
>>>>>
>>>>> Too late...
>>>>
>>>> Fuck. You've ruined her.
>>>
>>> It's ok, I can get more photos of her
>>
>> What about the taller buck toothed one?
>
> It's ok, you can wank over that one. I'll stick with Fliss.
I do, cept when she shouts JERRY I actually hear MICKY.
That's ok, we've got you a free bed at a police training academy.
If you hear gunfire don't worry just run to the noise shouting
'allahsacunt'.
I think you've fucked that up. Surely the bucket needs to be small like
a seaside bucket.
Don't go down the beach lobbing your dick into someones seaside bucket mind.