#Charles Manson Denied Parole, Effectively Ending His Bid for Republican Presidential Nomination

[2960 Dead]

Charles Manson Denied Parole, Effectively Ending His Bid for Republican
Presidential Nomination
Clears Path for Romney

KINGS COUNTY, CA (The Borowitz Report) – Serial killer Charles Manson was
denied parole yesterday, effectively ending his bid for the 2012
Republican presidential nomination.

With Mr. Manson no longer a contender, the path appears to be clear for
former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney to become the party’s nominee.

Perhaps in recognition of this development, Mr. Romney unveiled a new
campaign slogan today: “Sorry, But You Have No Other Choices Now.”

As for the rest of the GOP field, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick
Santorum suspended his campaign this week, saying that he wanted “to
spend more time with the voices in my head.”

And former House Speaker Newt Gingrich wrote a $500 check on an account
that had no money in it, in the first sign that he might be qualified to
be President.

Elsewhere, a Fox News spokesman blasted a mole who had previously worked
for the network: "At Fox News we have zero tolerance for someone who
tells the truth." Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report here.

--
Subscribe:
zepps_essay...@yahoogroups.com
zepps_news...@yahoogroups.com
Unsubscribe:
zepps_essays...@yahoogroups.com
zepps_news-...@yahoogroups.com

Not dead, in jail or a slave? Thank a liberal!

--
“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution
inevitable” -JFK

[Gary DW]

In article <jm7n4b$oro$3...@dont-email.me>, 2960 Dead
says...

> Charles Manson Denied Parole, Effectively Ending His Bid for Republican
> Presidential Nomination
> Clears Path for Romney
>

> KINGS COUNTY, CA (The Borowitz Report) ? Serial killer Charles Manson was

> denied parole yesterday, effectively ending his bid for the 2012
> Republican presidential nomination.
>
> With Mr. Manson no longer a contender, the path appears to be clear for

> former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney to become the party?s nominee.
>
>



He'd prolly still poll more favorably with females than
Romney.





--
"Job creators" are not the wealthy, nor have they ever
been.

Its a robust MIDDLE CLASS having extra money to spend is
what creates jobs.

This should be the main Dem message... Nothing else.

-Gary

[2960 Dead]

On Thu, 12 Apr 2012 21:18:01 -0500, Gary DW wrote:

> In article <jm7n4b$oro$3...@dont-email.me>, 2960 Dead says...
>
>
>> Charles Manson Denied Parole, Effectively Ending His Bid for Republican
>> Presidential Nomination
>> Clears Path for Romney
>>
>> KINGS COUNTY, CA (The Borowitz Report) ? Serial killer Charles Manson
>> was denied parole yesterday, effectively ending his bid for the 2012
>> Republican presidential nomination.
>>
>> With Mr. Manson no longer a contender, the path appears to be clear for
>> former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney to become the party?s
>> nominee.
>>
>>
>>
>
>
> He'd prolly still poll more favorably with females than Romney.

And probably offer a saner platform.

[Dänk 42Ø]

On 04/12/2012 05:05 PM, 2960 Dead quacked:

> Charles Manson Denied Parole, Effectively Ending His Bid for Republican
> Presidential Nomination

As one of Charlie's disciples, I object to your attempt to portray him
as a Republican. Charlie is the Father of the Flower Children, which
would seem to make him the property of the Democrats.

Charlie rises above petty human political squabbles; however, the few
times he has expressed political opinions he seems to be biased against
Republicans. Richard Nixon in particular bothers him, who he believes
killed far more many people than he did (zero). His most loyal
disciple, Squeaky Fromme, (pretended to) try to assassinate Gerald Ford,
because she was angry that he could pardon Nixon but not Charlie. Of
course, none of Charlie's philosophy expresses support for Democrats,
but anger at Republicans is a recurring theme.

"You want to blame Manson for being the leader of the Family and then
give Nixon immunity?!? Nixon killed a lot more people than Charlie did;
if Charlie was capable of doing something like that, wouldn't he be
better in the White House than Nixon? The office is still there: you
just keep changing faces with the same old monkey as if you didn't know
we was all living in a zoo!"
-- St. Charlie

http://www.filefreak.com/files/817517_qzh2g/charlie_and_nixon.mp3

[Christopher Helms]

On Thursday, April 12, 2012 6:05:49 PM UTC-5, 2960 Dead wrote:
> Charles Manson Denied Parole, Effectively Ending His Bid for Republican
> Presidential Nomination
> Clears Path for Romney
>
> KINGS COUNTY, CA (The Borowitz Report) – Serial killer Charles Manson was
> denied parole yesterday, effectively ending his bid for the 2012
> Republican presidential nomination.
>
> With Mr. Manson no longer a contender, the path appears to be clear for
> former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney to become the party’s nominee.
>
> Perhaps in recognition of this development, Mr. Romney unveiled a new
> campaign slogan today: “Sorry, But You Have No Other Choices Now.”
>
> As for the rest of the GOP field, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick
> Santorum suspended his campaign this week, saying that he wanted “to
> spend more time with the voices in my head.”
>
> And former House Speaker Newt Gingrich wrote a $500 check on an account
> that had no money in it, in the first sign that he might be qualified to
> be President.
>
> Elsewhere, a Fox News spokesman blasted a mole who had previously worked
> for the network: "At Fox News we have zero tolerance for someone who
> tells the truth." Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report here.

Now that's pretty damn funny! I loved that part about Mister Noot.