Message from discussion For Gary (mostly)
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Subject: Re: For Gary (mostly)
From: GaryN <webmas...@oxtoyrun.org.uk>
Organization: Your Company
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2012 15:53:49 -0500
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Lewis <g.kr...@gmail.com.dontsendmecopies> wrote in
> My mom sent me this today and it made me think of you, Gary.
Why Thankyou Darling <Big Wet Kisses>. Nice to know someone cares.
> A British Perspective......
> BY JOHN CLEESE
> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in
> Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to
> "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
> "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
> Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
> Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody
> Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"
> warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
And again when Blair was in power. But only specifically describing Blair.
> The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's
> get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the
> reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for
> the last 300 years.
And the Welsh and the Irish. Generally better to have them inside the tent
pissing out, etc, etc. Mostly we try to keep them more pissed off with
someone else than with us.
> The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
> terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
> France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by
> a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
> paralyzing the country's military capability.
They have a large capability in materiele (can't be arsed to do the slanty
thing over that last e). Just the soldiers and tank crews run away if
anyone shoots at them.
> Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
> to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
> "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
> The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful
> Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
> have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
German threat levels might need one in the middle "Invest Psychotic Nutters
into Positions of Power". Why do they always do that?
The best soldiers and equipment available (apart from Britain of course),
and some of the best generals, squandered because the fruitloop in charge
is, well, a fruitloop.
> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
> threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
Yeah. But who wants Belgium anyway?
> The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to
> deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new
> Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Not really fair - it was a storm that did most of the damage to the Armada.
Mind you quite a few pissed off sailors ended up in Scotland and Ireland
which might explain a bit.
> Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
> to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain:
> "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and
> "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use
> of the last final escalation level.
"Barbie me a Prawn, I'll be back for breakfast" - Oz "Ace" Rimmer..:-)
> John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
> A final thought - â€œGreece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting
> aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC."
What I can't work out is why everyone is getting all upset over this film
degrading Buddah, or Muhammed, or whoever.
I haven't seen it and I don't really give a shit unless they come round my
<TiC>If they are all so keen to rid the world of Western Decadence why are
they all moving into my neighbourhood?
.Sig file abducted by aliens.
I was bored with changing it every week anyway but as a last gasp...
"And if California slides into the ocean,
like the mystics and statistics say it will,
I predict this motel will be standing,
until I pay my bill"
Warren Zevon, from "Desperados Under The Eaves"