Terry on BBC1
Michael Treacy
tomorrow night, Thursday May 15th at 7.00pm
Mike
Albert ARIBAUD
Hmm... Any chance for us overseas foreigners (as if there were any other
kind) to watch it online? iPlayer is, understandably, unwilling to let me
watch BBC1.
Amicalement,
--
Albert.
Lister
Is he? Oh good
mcv
> Le Wed, 14 May 2008 21:14:13 +0100, Michael Treacy a ?crit?:
>
>> For any of you in the UK, Terry is going to be on "The One Show" on BBC1
>> tomorrow night, Thursday May 15th at 7.00pm
>
> kind) to watch it online? iPlayer is, understandably, unwilling to let me
> watch BBC1.
fortunately BBC1 is on cable here, but apparently there's a limited number
of Dutch cable providers that are allowed to offer BBC1 and BBC2, which
sucks. The cable provider that holds the BBC-monopoly in my area sucks,
but since none of the others are allowed to offer BBC1 and 2, I'm stuck.
I don't see how this can be legal according to EU rules. On the other
hand, if BBC1 and 2 are reliably availlable online, then I could switch
to a different provider.
mcv.
--
Science is not the be-all and end-all of human existence. It's a tool.
A very powerful tool, but not the only tool. And if only that which
could be verified scientifically was considered real, then nearly all
of human experience would be not-real. -- Zachriel
GaryN
news:482beef2$0$14344$e4fe...@news.xs4all.nl:
<snip>
> I don't see how this can be legal according to EU rules. On the other
> hand, if BBC1 and 2 are reliably availlable online, then I could
> switch to a different provider.
Or move to England for the day? EU rules allow that I believe.
gary
Michael Treacy
video clips of segments of the show.
Mike
"Albert ARIBAUD" <albert....@free.fr> wrote in message
news:482b49f3$0$6434$426a...@news.free.fr...
Albert ARIBAUD
> Try here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/theoneshow/ after the show, they often
> put up video clips of segments of the show.
>
> Mike
Thanks for the suggestion, Mike. Unfortunately, that goes through
iPlayer, which restricts accesses to UK viewers.
Amicalement,
--
Albert.
Julian Hall
Woohoo.. Happy Birthday to me.. Terry's on the TV...
*ahem*
Try BBC's iPlayer. They keep popular programmes on it for (I think) seven
days. I don't know if The One Show qualifies as popular but it's the
first thing I thought of. You *might* find some helpful soul records it
and uploads it to YouTube - but I think iPlayer is the better bet since
it's legal and all :)
Kind regards,
Julian
Julian Hall
Sorry I wrote this before my newsreader downloaded the other comment
saying iPlayer only works for the UK :( YouTube MIGHT be an option though?
Kind regards,
Julian
Len Oil
I'm prepared to quickly type in a transcript of the relevant bits[1], if
there's interest enough and nobody naughty has gone and put it on-line
in a fairly robust multimedia form instead.
I'll see if I can get one together before I retire for the night. Quick
and dirty, at least. (Not sure if anybody will think it worth it, but
why not. I had to video the show, anyway. ;)
[1] The One Show's magazine style does tend to rely on the odd tenuous
segway, quick mood changes to effect changes of pace and more highs and
lows in quick succession than a trampoliner's yo-yo, etc, but I think
the presenters do /try/ to make it as smooth as they can, given they
probably have someone shouting in their ear "No more time! No more
time! We need to do the thing about potatoes!" ;)
Len Oil
<A possible The One Show transcript>
> I'll see if I can get one together before I retire for the night. Quick
> and dirty, at least. (Not sure if anybody will think it worth it, but
> why not. I had to video the show, anyway. ;)
If I'd have started it immediately, I'd have done it by now, but no... I
did other things in the meantime. And I need to get up in about six
hours, so... ;)
Anyway, here, have part 1. I'll finish it off tomorrow in another post,
if all goes to plan. (I've missed out, and always intended to miss out,
the totally non-PTerry bits, but am in the middle of the largely
non-Terry (though he is featured even in that) recorded piece about
Alzheimers, which is followed by some more studio chat with him
specifically about his involvement in the subject.
Very little spell-checking done. Names may not be quite right. I've
/tried/ not to add any grammatical errors not made by those speaking
(nor get too picky over the natural stutters and repetitions they made),
but no guarantees that I've heard the words correctly[1], and I realise
that people might be interested in the autobiography piece and the
(later than this completed section) slowworm and potato ones, but I was
only aiming to give PTerry's banter and the Alzheimer pieces themselves.
Hmm, better put that footnote for the above in before the half-complete
transcript. Oh, and I hope you like the format I use for it, I don't do
this sort of thing, much...
[1] I spent about five minutes trying to work out why someone called
someone called Heather "June" or "Jean"... Realised it was "do
you"/"d'yer". ;)
The One Show - 15/May/2005
Persons in-studio:
o Christine Bleakley (CB) - presenter
o Adrian Chiles (AC) - presenter
o Terry Pratchett (TP) - principle guest (wearing T-Shirt with
"Frankly, I'd prefer that Alzheimers was the victim..." quote on front)
o Hadeep Singh Kohli (HSK) - feature contributor (biographies)
o Lucy Siegle (LS) - feature contributor (Alzheimers)
o Miranda Krestovnikoff (MK) - feature contributor (Slowworms)
o <not yet noted, may not even feature in the completed transcript> -
feature contributor (potato plastics)
Also:
o Heather, Dave and Frances Roberts (HR/DR/FR) - feature interviewees
(Alzheimers)
o Dr Graham Stokes (GS) - feature interviewee (Alzheimers)
<Title Sequence>
CB: Hello and welcome to The One Show with Adrian Chiles...
AC: .. and Christine Bleakley, and one of Britains best-selling
novelists, the fantastical Terry Pratchett. Terry, it's fantastical to
have you here.
TP: Thank you. <with slightly bemused chuckle?>
CB: And here too the scarcely less fantastical Hardeep Singh Kohli and
our new wildlife woman, Miranda Krestovnikoff... that's a name to say...
AC: Very well done. ... Cherie Blaire's autobiography is out today, but
what did it add to the public view of the Blair Years...
<Segways into filmed feature by Hardeep about autobiographies and
memoirs, before talking to Hardeep in the studio, then...>
HSK: ...Dorothy had a fascinating life. Social Worker, involved in CND,
and, you know, stuff that you, that you sort of, become less and less...
around just now. That we can still learn from.
CB: Yeah, well Terry, your memoirs will /certainly/ be an excellent
read, have you thought about it? Have you started it?
TP: Publishers have asked me, and sometimes when I'm lying in bed of an
evening I run through my life, but I tend to fall asleep by the time
I've left school...
CB: <chuckles> Don't join the marketing campaign with your ?book?...
<indistinct/tails off as Terry continues>
TP: ..but, but, most of the time, it's "got up, wrote book". You know,
after a while that, that ceases to have a certain spellbinding...
<trails off>
AC: Would it be hard to write, though? 'Cos you have those fantastical
flights of fantasy. How would you do it... Would it be difficult to
write a factual book?
TP: Well. It's.. The flights of fancy are in my head. Ok. I've been
told the way to do it is make stuff up, you know. Like, the missing
year in your life when you were working on a whaler, or something like
that. No, it's not something I... You know, I'm busy living it, you know?
AC: We were saying that one of the problems was one of the problems was
every Tom, Dick and Harry is writing one, well [turns to HS] you're a
<?jobbing writer?> aren't you?
HSK: Every Tom, Dick and Hardeep is writing one.
<a little more banter with HS before the segway into the first proper
PTerry segment>
CB: <chuckles> Oh at the other end of the literary spectrum, lie Terry's
Discworld comic fantasy novels. Over 55 Million sold to date. The
series is celebrating its 25th anniversary.
AC: A couple of them have been made into blockbuster TV movies.
<clip of Rincewind falling inside Wyrmburg, part reciting spell #7a,
then being caught by Twoflower on Nine Bending Reeds>
<subtitle: Twentieth Century Fox / Due for release November 2008>
CB: It's fabulous, isn't it? But Terry, did you know, that because of
Discworld you are officially Britain's msot shoplifted author?
TP: Could you prove it?
CB: <chuckles> Well, ummm...
AC: These /are/ official figures, I don't...
TP: No, no, this, these, tell us, that that figure was announced, I
think, in the mid '90s. I think someone else must have beaten me...
AC: <faux strong> We are bang up to date, here <CB chuckles>, don't you
dare insinuate otherwise... Er, but why do people... what is it that
appeals to.. er... <TP obscures with: "shoplifters?"> er yeah. What do
shoplifters enjoy so much <CB: "...particularly..." and indistinct>...
TP: I don't know, and I suppose the police ought to ask them when they
catch them. I don't know, I think, I hope I try to make them
entertaining and sometimes quite thoughtful and... the thing about the
popularity of genres is that they tend to be written in an old-fashioned
way. They have plot and character, you know, they adhear to the old
fashioned rules of storytelling. They try to make it entertaining for
the audience.
<abrupt change of mood to serious segment>
AC: Terry, believe it or not, has actually recently been diagnosed with
Early-Onset Alzheimers, that's when the disease affects you before the
age of sixty-five. It can happen in your fifties, or even forties.
CB: Doctors say it is a condition set to become significantly mroe
common over the next ten years, and yet the NHS has cut vital treatment
proven to work for middle-aged suffers.
AC: Lucy Siegle spent the day with a remarkable women whose story will
be very familiar to Terry.
<filmed segment>
LS<over shots of HR and DR washing up>: Meet Heather Roberts. Like
Terry Pratchett, she is one of the fiteen thousand people in the UK who
has Early-Onset Alzheimers. Earlier this year, Terry donated half a
million pounds towards research into the disease.
TP<over shots of a signing>: I wanted to fight the disease. It was very
simple, I mean it was a shere... shere vicarious sense of I want to hit
back in some ways.
HR: This end of the day, I'm up and ready, and I'm sensible and I'm
fine, everything's working fine.
LS<over>: Heather has always played tennis, but practice sessions are a
crucial part of her aim to maintain normality as the Alzheimers takes
hold. I join her and husband Dave on the court.
LS: So Heather, you weren't too intimidated by my dreadful game there,
were you? You're quite a good player.
HR: I /used/ to be a good player, and it's only occasionally that you
see glimpses of those play when I, everything coordinates together and
everything works and I can get the shot in. But a lot of the time, it's
sort of all over the place, or the racket goes all over the court or I
miss the ball or the timing's wrong, and I have been ?able? to fall
over. That's all part of the Alzheimers, and the way it affects me.
LS<over>: There is seven hundred thousand suffers of dementia int he UK.
As society ages, this number will increase. One in three of us is
expected to end our lives with the disease in some form.
HR: As tennis is all about getting the factors right and getting the
bits and pieces right, but most of the time I can't manage that. My
brain is trying to get all the bits right. And quite often I miss the
shot altogether.
LS: And you find that frustrating?
HR: Yes. Very frustrating.
LS: <To Dave> And did you used to be Doubles partners?
DR: No, I'm a new boy to this game, and I started playing when I
finished work. Really to do something with Heather.
HR: Yeah, yeah.
DR: She still far better than me, even though she's not as good as she
used to be.
LS: Is it difficult to come down here and admit to people that you now
have a weakness?
HR: I think most people have spotted that there's something wrong
because when I hit the ball astray, I do talk about it openly. Some
people don't want to know, some people walk away. Other people are
interested, to talk about it, and to explain my seemingly bizarre
behaviour when I insist on throwing my racket across the court.
LS: But you're not being a kind of John McEnroe?
HR: Yeah, no no no.
LS: Are you having to explain to them that that's now something that's
going to happen?
DR: Yeah, we just have a good giggle, to be honest. It's something
that's really silly and everyone bursts out laughing, and that's the way
we deal with it.
HR: Yeh, laughter is a key to coping with Alzheimer's Disease. Beign
able to laugh at myself and laugh at situations makes life a lot more
bearable and I think its the way that /I/ feel a better quality of life.
LS<over>: Heather reckons she can maintain an active lifecycle due to
the Aricept drugs she takes.
LS: Heather is relatively lucky, she got these drugs on the NHS, but the
recently diagnosed sufferers like Terry Pratchett are no longer entitled
to them. Terry has to fiund his drugs from his own pocket. So why has
the NHS closed the door to new sufferers?
LS<over>: The national drugs watchdog believes Aricept to be of limited
use for Early-Onset sufferers, but still approve their drugs for people
in the later stages. But a leading dementia specialist thinks these
drugs can have benefits to all.
GS: What these drugs do is, for some people, for roughly a year to
eighteen months, is to exercise some benefit on their ?memory or?
concentration.
LS: But even that buying a bit of time, for some patients, a year, or
however long it may be, isn't that crucial?
GS: I think it is. I think it is, I mean, because what these drugs gave
were hope to everybody.
LS<over>: Alzheimer's doesn't just impact the person who's diagnosed.
The effects ripple out to freinds and family. Something Heather's
daughter Frances knows all about.
LS: So you haven't always gone shopping together then?
FR: No no, not at all, no. Used to just disappear into town on your own...
HR: I used to, yes <FR: years ago>, that doesn't happen any more. <FR: no>
LS: And what do you do about money?
HR: Spend it.
<end of transcript so far>
Albert ARIBAUD
> Len Oil wrote:
> <A possible The One Show transcript>
Thanks a million times!
Amicalement,
--
Albert.
Daibhid Ceanaideach
> Segways
Sorry, but...
*Segues*!!! "Segway" is amusing when it refers to a moterised scooter, but
profoundly irritating (at least to me) when it replaces the actual word!
--
Dave
So I looked, and behold, a pale horse.
And the name of him who sat on it was Death.
And the name of the horse was Binky.
Grymma
> On 16 May 2008, Len Oil <len...@lenoil.demon.co.uk> repeatedly wrote:
>
>> Segways
>
> Sorry, but...
>
> *Segues*!!! "Segway" is amusing when it refers to a moterised
> scooter, but profoundly irritating (at least to me) when it replaces
> the actual word!
Oh. I took 'segway' in this instance to mean 'segment away', like an aside
or cut to a different section. And lo! it made perfect sense :-)
Just goes to show, eh?.... ;-)
--
Grymma AFPOh Goddess Of Hangovers; DAcFD, BF (UU)
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy....
8'FED
> Daibhid Ceanaideach wrote:
>> Len Oil repeatedly wrote:
>>
>>> Segways
>>
>> Sorry, but...
>>
>> *Segues*!!! "Segway" is amusing when it refers to a moterised
>> scooter, but profoundly irritating (at least to me) when it replaces
>> the actual word!
>
> Oh. I took 'segway' in this instance to mean 'segment away', like an aside or
> cut to a different section. And lo! it made perfect sense :-)
>
> Just goes to show, eh?.... ;-)
Unfortunately you can't have this as your very own eggcorn, as it
turns out to have been spotted before:
http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/english/527/segway/
Adrian.
Grymma
Never mind, it's quite nice to know that it made sense to other minds too
;-)
--
Grymma AFPOh Goddess Of Hangovers; DAcFD, BF (UU)
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bulls##t before...
Len Oil
> On 16 May 2008, Len Oil <len...@lenoil.demon.co.uk> repeatedly wrote:
>
>> Segways
>
> Sorry, but...
>
> *Segues*!!! "Segway" is amusing when it refers to a moterised scooter, but
> profoundly irritating (at least to me) when it replaces the actual word!
Apologies. I long ago read the word "segue" and started pronouncing it
"seag" (annoying people who know it should have been sounded like
"segway") and have long heard the word /pronounced/ "segway" but tend
never to spell it "segue" (annoying people in the manner just demonstrated).
Deep in my mind, I can't seem to shake off the impression that the two
are both legitimate synonymical words. ;)
(When /really/ young[1] I used to read "jettison", as applies to
successive spent stages of a rocket, as "jetonise", i.e. to "jet" them
away from the rocket/the rocket away from them.)
[0] See that! It's a pune that works on at least three levels. I'm
proud of that one. <shrug> Suit yerself. ;)
[1] Not sure how young, but the mistake I was making is what my friend's
dyslexic kid is making at age 8, so would have been earlier.
Daibhid Ceanaideach
> Daibhid Ceanaideach wrote:
>> On 16 May 2008, Len Oil <len...@lenoil.demon.co.uk> repeatedly wrote:
>>
>>> Segways
>>
>> Sorry, but...
>>
>> *Segues*!!! "Segway" is amusing when it refers to a moterised
>> scooter, but profoundly irritating (at least to me) when it replaces
>> the actual word!
>
> Apologies. I long ago read the word "segue" and started pronouncing
> it "seag" (annoying people who know it should have been sounded like
> "segway") and have long heard the word /pronounced/ "segway" but tend
> never to spell it "segue" (annoying people in the manner just
> demonstrated).
>
> Deep in my mind, I can't seem to shake off the impression that the two
> are both legitimate synonymical words. ;)
I can certainly understand that. I also long ago read the word segue and
started pronouncing it "seag", but *never* heard anyone else use it in
speech until after the scooters came along.
So deep in *my* mind, I can't shake off the idea that a word that can
only be pronounced "segway" *can't* mean "segue", which I continue to
read as "seag".
Lister
wrote:
Well, I've recorded it too, if anyone wants it
Hendrik Schober
> [...]
> Apologies. I long ago read the word "segue" and started pronouncing it
> "seag" (annoying people who know it should have been sounded like
> "segway") and have long heard the word /pronounced/ "segway" but tend
> never to spell it "segue" (annoying people in the manner just demonstrated).
>
> Deep in my mind, I can't seem to shake off the impression that the two
> are both legitimate synonymical words. ;)
>
>
> (When /really/ young[1] I used to read "jettison", as applies to
> successive spent stages of a rocket, as "jetonise", i.e. to "jet" them
> away from the rocket/the rocket away from them.)
>
>
> [0] See that! It's a pune that works on at least three levels. I'm
> proud of that one. <shrug> Suit yerself. ;)
...still trying to find a place to stick that footnote in...
Schobi
--
Spam...@gmx.de is never read
I'm HSchober at gmx dot de
"I guess at some point idealism meets human nature and
explodes." Daniel Orner
Len Oil
NNTP wasn't responding)...
Part two of this, again no spill-chucking, and entirely unprofessional,
though I did put extra line-spacings in, for readability... ;)
But first a minor recap:
> The One Show - 15/May/2005
>
> Persons in-studio:
> o Christine Bleakley (CB) - presenter
> o Adrian Chiles (AC) - presenter
> o Terry Pratchett (TP) - principle guest (wearing T-Shirt with
> "Frankly, I'd prefer that Alzheimers was the victim..." quote on front)
> o Hadeep Singh Kohli (HSK) - feature contributor (biographies)
> o Lucy Siegle (LS) - feature contributor (Alzheimers)
o "Doctor Sarah" (DS) - semi-regular contributor, don't know her name
> o Miranda Krestovnikoff (MK) - feature contributor (Slowworms)
> o <not yet noted, may not even feature in the completed transcript> -
> feature contributor (potato plastics)
(Indeed, only name-checked as intro, but not sure if heard correctly)
o Assorted crew behind the cameras who take part at times
> Also:
> o Heather, Dave and Frances Roberts (HR/DR/FR) - feature interviewees
> (Alzheimers)
> o Dr Graham Stokes (GS) - feature interviewee (Alzheimers)
<Most of part 1 resuming In the midst of the Alzheimer's feature,
backtracking a little bit>
> LS<over>: Alzheimer's doesn't just impact the person who's diagnosed.
> The effects ripple out to freinds and family. Something Heather's
> daughter Frances knows all about.
> LS: So you haven't always gone shopping together then?
> FR: No no, not at all, no. Used to just disappear into town on your own...
> HR: I used to, yes <FR: years ago>, that doesn't happen any more. <FR: no>
> LS: And what do you do about money?
> HR: Spend it.
LS: Well we all spend it. But is that difficult, because... do you, are
you aware of how much you are spending and keeping tabs on it?
HR: I have been known to loss</"lost", sic> track of exactly, and not to
understand the value of money. This is something again that I will
check with Francis as to is this the right amount of money for this
thing, because I've lost the ability to deal with that.
FR: When we go out I tend to take over it, and that's very much where
you see a lot of the role-reversal. Mum would normally always have
dealt with it and she would go like "Have you got enough money for
that?" and this, that and the other, and now it's me saying to her,
"Have you got enough cash on you".
LS: You have had to re-plan a lot of your life, and, you know, obviously
spend a lot more time together than you probably would have done naturally.
FR: Yeah. It definitely did bring us closer together. Because it gives
you the frame of mind of, 'what's going to happen in ten year?' you're
not going to have this moment again. And in ten years' time, I mean,
Mum's not going to be the person you know. Right now. And that's hard
to accept.
LS<over>: It's the end of the day and Heather is back at home with her
family. Alzheimer's is something they have all have to deal with, and,
as more and more people are going to be touched by the disease, Heather
believes a new openness is needed.
HR: We've got to talk about this. We've bring it out from cupboards and
behind doors where it's all been hidden and we've got to talk about it.
I'm going to fight this all the way down. So, as some days that you
can't fight it and so you've got to give in gracefully. But most of the
time you go fighting all the way.
<back to studio>
AC: But Terry, you saw Heather taking a determinedly cheerful approach,
is that something you've been able to do?
TP: Well, the day after I was diagnosed I was working in the garden and
I realised I was whistling, you know. Um... Regrettably I have a
natural fault of cheerfulness that keeps on bubbling to the top and I
can't do anything about it. But. As I said on the film, I wanted to do
something, so I phoned up the Alzheimer's Research Trust and talked to
them and said "I'm going to give you a million dollars". 'Cos you know
how it is, you come back from the States, you've been asleep on the
plane when the envelope comes round, and, you know, you have a few
dollars left in your pocket and I've always /wanted/ to give away a
million dollars. And then suddenly everyone was talking about it. And
they were all surprised that someone that they thought of as a celebrity
was going to own to having Alzheimer's,, but I thought 'there's actually
nothing to be ashamed about...'
CB: But you were misdiagnosed initially, weren't you?
TP: Yeees, it wasn't really anyone's fault. I've got a rare variant,
which is why I'm sitting here, you know, I can still write the books,
etc. Typing is hard but the brain, you know, the forefront, the bit
that is me, is working quite well. Long may that continue. So, there
were little problems, and you make up workarounds. But I can't drive a
car because my visual acuity is somewhat askew. I might not see my
mobile phone if it's on the table, and I can't drive a car, in that
case, because you might not see the little girl on the zebra crossing.
AC: So, Doctor Sarah, the, with the drugs what are the options?
DS: Well, there are three drugs that are licensed for /moderate/
Alzheimer's in the UK, and one that's licensed for more severe cases.
The interesting thing is that I'm afraid there's still a bit of a
'postcode lottery'. If you're in Scotland, they've been licensed from
an early stage, and SIGN, which is the /Scottish/ [Intercollegiate]
Guideline Network has said that people should not be denied these at an
early stage when they can make a real difference. They /don't/ work for
everybody, but I've got several patients who've been taking them for
whom they have done really miraculous things.
CB: It's not just the patients, though, it's families as well..
DS: Absolutely. This is so key with Alzheimer's. One of the things
we're moving towards in General Practice is looking after the carers
too. Because if you're looking after someone with Alzheimer's, you're
very often doing it without the support of your lifelong partner,
<indistinct>.
AC: So briefly, what does the future hold for you, then, Terry, as has
just been explained.
TP: I'm not paying too much attention to it for, for two reasons. One,
the books have been very kind to me, or shall I say the /readers/ have
been very kind to me, so my future, whatever it is, will not include a
lack of money. Which is, which is... And the other is, I don't want to
follow a script. What seems to be a nightmare on the outside can be one
day at a time for the inside. Keep busy, you find plenty of toys,
plenty of people, new things to do, keep active, and don't sit there
feeling sorry for yourself. I went through a little phase of that,
until I realised that at 59 I was quite an /elderly/ Early-Onset, there
are people in their 40s. And those people /do/ need the free
medication. I can afford it, they can't.
AC: Fantastic. I can listen to you all evening, I must say...
CB: Yeah, if you want to know more about Alzheimer's, there's, um,
helpful information on our website, bbc.co.uk/theoneshow.
AC: Terry, can I ask you, in your fantasy novels, what was strangest
creature you've ever written about?
TB: It was a creature called the 'ambiguous puzuma' <AC: really...>, it
was a /quantum/ creature, it could travel very fast <CB: hmm>, but
because of the speed <both: yep...> of light it either knew where it was
going or who it was, not both at the same time.
CB: Well, here on The One Show we like to get up close and personal to
some /equally/ strange creatures.
AC: Miranda Krestovnikoff has been tailing a gardeners friend that
gardeners hardly every see. Britain's most laid-back lounge-lizard.
<recorded item on slow worms - not typed into this transcript - Sorry
André ;) >
AC: Miranda's here, and, so are the slow worms.
MK: Here they are. We've got a...
AC: Very at home there. These are protected, aren't they?
MK: They are, so if any building or construction works are going on in
this country, a survey has to be done and if there are slow worms in the
area, they have to be rounded up and re-homed, so it's important that we
look after our reptiles. We've only got six native species of reptile
in this country, and even though slow worms are quite 'common', they're
not actually /that/ common, so...
AC: Terry, would you like a slow worm to hold?
TP: Yeaaah <takes a few into hand>, we have them in the garden.
<"ahhh"s all round>
CB: Well, well, they are the gardeners best friend aren't they, Miranda
<MK: they are> and you should look after them if you come across them...
MK: Absolutely. We've got them in our garden, and they, the thing is
that they love to feed on slugs and snails and things like that, so if
you find one in your garden, don't be scared, don't think it's a snake.
They're actually a really great thing to have, and they love compost
heaps as well. If you've got a compost heap...
AC: Tell me, evolution. Evolutionarily, ?how's/has? it been a wise
decision <TP, over, hands full: "...they've having a bit of a... ?thing?
here" hands back slow worms> to lose their legs, does it Miranda? Why
did... <MK: Well these are actually> Legs are better than sliding
along on your belly <MK: Well...> So why, why did they lose them?
MK: Well, they like burrowing, they like hiding underneath things, and
they are... If you look at a skeleton of a slow worm, it does have
vestiges of limbs, so they /were/ actually, they did have legs once upon
a time. But, umm, 'cos they like hiding, burrowing, and things like
that... Legs, basically, got in the way, so they evolved to lose the
legs, and that's why they ended up how they are here.
AC: Well, Miranda, that's great, lovely to see you. And your worms
<chuckles all round>. Can I ask you to do something for us? See
this..? <holds up a cushion with potato on> ...it's a potato. We pay
tribute to it. All Hail The Potato!
wide-shot of studio guests/crew: All Hail The Potato!
AC: And again please!
studio guests/crew: All Hail The Potato!
CB: Awww, I'm bringing you all back to Ireland with me, because we all
like potatoes there...
AC: <flamboyantly throws potato into the air, misses the catch> Woops!
CB: <laughs>
AC: All week on The One Show, we've been going potato-crazy, haven't we?
CB: Yes we have...
AC: Highlighting the remarkable qualities of this extraordinary root
vegetable...
CB: Extraordinary..!?
AC: Yes, extraordinary!
CB: Yes, last night we showed you the startling array of spud varieties.
AC: Tonight, ?Shenni Sunarathne? is taking it one more step further,
revealing how the potato could, believe it or not, actually save the planet
<recorded item on potatoes to plastics>
CB: ?Shenni? mentioned there about making Potato Clocks...
AC: I didn't do that, did /you/ do that Terry?
TP: Oh yeah!
AC: I certainly didn't do it...
CB: I did, I /did/ do it!
AC: Well, I missed out at my school, I still think <CB: ah, you see>
it's incredible, this. In case you've forgot, we're going to remind you
how to do it with Mr Hardeep Singh Kholi. For health and safety
purposes, we've isolated him in a special cordoned off area, in case
things go /disastrously/ wrong.
<scene - Hardeep at table, labelled with warning signs, striped tape,
goggles on, flanked by assistants in white coats, hard hats, passing
potato and equipment. Activity goes on with much rigmarole and faux
stress and danger while AC rushes through the following 'science
explanation', Mission Impossible theme in background>
CB: Hardeep, commence the wiring. But please, please be careful.
AC: Hardeep, we love you! We don't want to lose you.
AC<quickly>: A Potato Battery is a type of electrico-chemical cell. An
electro-chemical cell converts chemical energy into electric energy. IN
the potato battery there's a transfer of electrons between the zinc
coating the iron rods that will be inserted into the potato and the
copper wire that will be inserted into another potato. The potato
conducts electricity, <occasional shots of Terry looking highly
amused/bemused> but keeps the zinc ions and the copper ions separate, so
that the electrons in the copper wire are forced to move, generating
current. <'Assistants' aim extinguishers[1] at activity, in 'dread
anticipation' of disaster> it's not enough power to shock you <rising
stress in voice!> but do be careful anyway! Can it Power?!? Can it
power this digital clock?! Let's have a look, let's get in <camera
zooms>! Is it going to work?! Is it going to work!?! The suspense is
unbearable!!! It's <obscured by cheers as small travel-style digital
clock flashes up "12:04" to sporadic studio applause, including Terry's..>
AC: ...fantastic!
CB: What a wonderful, wonderful moment.
AC: Hardeep. Hardeep, stick it on your memoirs <CB laughs>. You can't
have done anything more impressive than that in your life. That was
fantastic.
CB: Thank you very much...
AC: All Hail The Potato. <CB: Yes> All Hail Terry. All ?Tale Hardy?
AC: On tomorrow's show, <CB: On tomorrow's show..> we've got Tom Conti,
<to CB>sorry</>, the man who won Shirley Valentine's heart.
CB: Yes, and how the potato won the Second World War. You heard that
correctly.
AC/CB: See you at seven!
<end title fragment, end programme>
[1] Appear to be water extinguishers, with water-style nozzles, thus
totally unsuitable for electrical emergencies, but I can't readily
identify the colour of the label. Which shows that the UK change to
"all extinguishers are now red, with 5% type-indication colour" has
singularly failed to increase awareness in this instance. ;)
Albert ARIBAUD
> Sorry, forgot to post the continuation (because when I'd done it, the
> NNTP wasn't responding)...
Thanks a second million times!
Amicalement,
--
Albert.