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[I] What Men Know About Women

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gra...@affordable-leather.co.ukdeletethis

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Jan 17, 2003, 8:59:32 PM1/17/03
to
Hi there,

Apropos of another thread around here, here's something I found on a
website....

;-)

What Men Know About Women

10. They have breasts

9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday

8. They have breasts

7. They like to stay in and not go out

6. They have breasts

5 They like to watch football

4. They have breasts

3. When they say no they really mean yes

2. They have breasts

1. Breasts come in different sizes

Cheers,
Graham.

Graycat

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Jan 19, 2003, 7:12:47 AM1/19/03
to
On Sat, 18 Jan 2003 01:59:32 GMT,
gra...@affordable-leather.co.ukDELETETHIS wrote:

>Hi there,
>
>Apropos of another thread around here, here's something I found on a
>website....
>
>;-)
>
>What Men Know About Women
>
>10. They have breasts

ah, yes...another thread on breasts...

>9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday

I read that as chicken...maybe I'm stuck on the breast thing, though
really I prefer thigh.


>5 They like to watch football

We do?! I'm not a woman it seems.

Although I seem to fulfil 5 out of 10 requirements for being one.

Elin
The Tale of Westala and Villtin
http://www.student.lu.se/~his02ero/index.html

CCA

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Jan 19, 2003, 9:15:02 AM1/19/03
to
gra...@affordable-leather.co.uk wrote

>Apropos of another thread around here, here's something I found on a
>website....
>
>;-)
>
>What Men Know About Women

>10. They have breasts

Can't deny that one.

>9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday

Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.

>7. They like to stay in and not go out

Depends largely on the woman, the circumstances, and what activities would be
on the agenda if staying in.

>5 They like to watch football

I actually do enjoy football during the World Cup. That goes for rugby during
the Six Nations too, and whenever the All-Blacks happen to be playing.

>3. When they say no they really mean yes

No-one here needs telling that this is bollocks, I'm sure.

>1. Breasts come in different sizes

No disputing that one either.

CCA:)

Alec Cawley

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Jan 19, 2003, 11:36:08 AM1/19/03
to
gra...@affordable-leather.co.ukDELETETHIS wrote:

> Hi there,
>
> Apropos of another thread around here, here's something I found on a
> website....
>
> ;-)
>
> What Men Know About Women
> 10. They have breasts

> 8. They have breasts
> 6. They have breasts
> 4. They have breasts


> 2. They have breasts
> 1. Breasts come in different sizes

The curious thing is that they are so interested in other peoples breasts,
when with a few injections they could have a pair of their very own.

--
@lec Šawley
From address is valid

Stevie D

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Jan 19, 2003, 11:54:09 AM1/19/03
to
CCA wrote:

>> 3. When they say no they really mean yes
>
> No-one here needs telling that this is bollocks, I'm sure.

"No," she says, which means 'yes'. It is true!

--
Stevie D
\\\\\ ///// Bringing dating agencies to the
\\\\\\\__X__/////// common hedgehog since 2001 - "HedgeHugs"
___\\\\\\\'/ \'///////_____________________________________________

Sherilyn

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Jan 19, 2003, 2:13:01 PM1/19/03
to
Alec Cawley <nos...@spamspam.co.uk> writes:

Or just drink lots of beer, don't exercise, and wait.
--
Sherilyn

Cybercat

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Jan 19, 2003, 2:22:23 PM1/19/03
to
On Sun, 19 Jan 2003 16:36:08 +0000, Alec Cawley
<nos...@spamspam.co.uk> wrote:

>The curious thing is that they are so interested in other peoples breasts,
>when with a few injections they could have a pair of their very own.

But playing with yourself just isn't the same. :)

Michel
--
Watashi wa neko desu nyo.

David Chapman

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Jan 19, 2003, 2:16:47 PM1/19/03
to
The Department of Pre-Crime reports that Alec Cawley will say:

> The curious thing is that they are so interested in other peoples
> breasts, when with a few injections they could have a pair of their
> very own.

They will attach breasts to me when they prise them from my
cold, dead hands.

--
Dark don't lie, dreams come true
Could be a few will see you through


Cybercat

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Jan 19, 2003, 2:51:15 PM1/19/03
to
On Sun, 19 Jan 2003 12:12:47 GMT, gra...@passagen.se (Graycat) wrote:

>Although I seem to fulfil 5 out of 10 requirements for being one.
>

The most important ones. I don't think watching football or wanting
kitchen utensils for your birthday are required, really.

Eric Jarvis

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Jan 19, 2003, 2:40:14 PM1/19/03
to
gra...@affordable-leather.co.ukDELETETHIS wrote:
> Hi there,
>
> Apropos of another thread around here, here's something I found on a
> website....
>
> ;-)
>
> What Men Know About Women
>
> 10. They have breasts
>
> 9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday
>
> etc

that'd be Real Men (tm)
<http://www.jazzbutcher.com/htdb/lyrics/real_men.html>

I think Pat Fish sums it up pretty much exactly...as he does so often

--
eric - afprelationships in headers
www.ericjarvis.co.uk
"live fast, die only if strictly necessary"

CCA

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Jan 19, 2003, 3:36:10 PM1/19/03
to
Alec Cawley (>nos...@spamspam.co.uk) wrote

>The curious thing is that they are so interested in other peoples breasts,
>when with a few injections they could have a pair of their very own.

Well, you could say that about women and well-developed pecs and arm muscles,
yet few women (apart from women body-builders) want to have those themselves.
Men like breasts because they haven't got them. Women like men's muscles
because they're different to ours. I realise this is a giant sweeping
generalisation, (and doesn't take into account gay men, lesbians or anyone
bisexual) but I think it goes someway to towards explaining the fascination.
Perhaps, anyway.
CCA:)

Sherilyn

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Jan 19, 2003, 7:55:40 PM1/19/03
to
Darin Johnson <da...@usa.net> writes:

> Sherilyn <sher...@suespammers.org> writes:
>
> > Or just drink lots of beer, don't exercise, and wait.
>

> But, but, but... Mine are fuzzy, and not at all the sort I prefer!

Shave and cultivate more catholic tastes. :)
--
Sherilyn

Matt Silberstein

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Jan 19, 2003, 11:24:39 PM1/19/03
to
In alt.fan.pratchett I read this message from Alec Cawley
<nos...@spamspam.co.uk>:

If you did not see the _Drew Carey_ episode about this you
should. Sick and quite funny.


--

Matt Silberstein

Stupendous -

The only word that starts off as an insult and ends up as a compliment...

Except, of course, for "Jerking"

Tony Martin

Lucy Markes

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Jan 20, 2003, 2:39:13 PM1/20/03
to

"Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
news:cu1znpw...@nokia.com...

> Sherilyn <sher...@suespammers.org> writes:
>
> > Or just drink lots of beer, don't exercise, and wait.
>
> But, but, but... Mine are fuzzy, and not at all the sort I prefer!
>
> --
> Darin Johnson
> Are we back to the Bearded Tit thread?

Oooh, he's hairy! Rah!

Tell me, are you single?

Lucy


Orjan Westin

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Jan 20, 2003, 3:11:04 PM1/20/03
to
Lucy Markes wrote:
> "Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
> news:cu1znpw...@nokia.com...
>> Sherilyn <sher...@suespammers.org> writes:
>>
>>> Or just drink lots of beer, don't exercise, and wait.
>>
>> But, but, but... Mine are fuzzy, and not at all the sort I prefer!
>
> Oooh, he's hairy! Rah!

So what? Lots of guys are. Me, f'rinstance.

> Tell me, are you single?

I'm not. <eg>

Orjan
Hair today, gone tomorrow


SteveD

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Jan 21, 2003, 1:50:19 AM1/21/03
to
"David Chapman" <evil...@madasafish.com> meticulously glued three
electrons together and said:

>The Department of Pre-Crime reports that Alec Cawley will say:
>
>> The curious thing is that they are so interested in other peoples
>> breasts, when with a few injections they could have a pair of their
>> very own.
>
>They will attach breasts to me when they prise them from my
>cold, dead hands.

This started off as a really disturbing image, whereapon I thought "No,
that can't have been right, I misread it or there was a typo or
something."

Now I have re-read it, I would just like to say -

That's a really disturbing image.

-SteveD

Lucy Markes

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Jan 21, 2003, 4:54:50 AM1/21/03
to

"Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
news:cu11y37...@nokia.com...

> "Lucy Markes" <sp...@globalnet.co.uk> writes:
>
> > Oooh, he's hairy! Rah!
>
> Not bristly though, as it's a fine brown/blonde/reddish/gray.

>
> > Tell me, are you single?
>
> Last I checked. Are you any good at shaving backs?

Oh yes, would you like me to do your toes aswell?

Lucy - starting to gross myself out now ;->


Lucy Markes

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Jan 21, 2003, 4:55:30 AM1/21/03
to

"Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
news:cu1wukz...@nokia.com...
> "Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> writes:
>
> > Sooner or later a woman with similar interests will turn up and you will
> > have breasts. It's been working for me for the last 20 years;-)
>
> But you need to have interests in more than just breasts.

Legs and bums aswell then?


Sanity

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Jan 21, 2003, 10:57:32 AM1/21/03
to
In article <3e2d6b74$1...@metisse.ciderspace.local>,
"Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> wrote:

> "Lucy Markes" <sp...@globalnet.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:FuacnXnBAeW...@brightview.com...

> All very lovely but I tend to find myself more interested in the
> long term by the operating system. The hardware can always be
> upgraded ;-)

Most women tend to be closed source, and can't be reverse engineered.

No software upgrading is possible, and the hardware is very expensive.

Some don't even accept plug-ins.

TTFN,
Michel AKA Sanity

--
"Sanity shall make ye -ing fret" Doing Affordable things to AFP:
www.affordable-prawns.co.uk www.affordable-hedgehogs.co.uk

AFP Chess Tournament: http://www.affordable-hedgehogs.co.uk/chess/

Kegs

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Jan 21, 2003, 1:42:36 PM1/21/03
to
Sanity <sanityDE...@affordable-hedgehogs.co.uk> writes:

> In article <3e2d6b74$1...@metisse.ciderspace.local>,
> "Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> wrote:

> > All very lovely but I tend to find myself more interested in the
> > long term by the operating system. The hardware can always be
> > upgraded ;-)
>
> Most women tend to be closed source, and can't be reverse engineered.
>
> No software upgrading is possible, and the hardware is very expensive.
>
> Some don't even accept plug-ins.

SPLORF! Keyboard please Sanity!

--
James
jamesk[at]beeb[dot]net

Linux- 'Cos Micro$oft is for Capitalists running DOS

Steve James

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Jan 21, 2003, 5:38:00 PM1/21/03
to
In article <3e2ca272$1...@metisse.ciderspace.local>, ga...@ciderspace.org.uk (Gary Nicholass) wrote:

> "Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
> news:cu1wukz...@nokia.com

> > "Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> writes:
> >> Sooner or later a woman with similar interests will turn up and you
> >> will have breasts. It's been working for me for the last 20 years;-)
> > But you need to have interests in more than just breasts.

> Ornithology as it happens.
> Bluet tits, Great tits, Robin red breasts...........
> And the only part of a pigeon worth eating is the front part.
>
Boobies ;)

Steve (Steeljam) *BF DAcFD (UU) *
Resident Opsimath in Redivivus Studies

Kegs

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Jan 21, 2003, 5:55:24 PM1/21/03
to
stee...@cix.co.uk (Steve James) writes:

> In article <3e2ca272$1...@metisse.ciderspace.local>, ga...@ciderspace.org.uk (Gary Nicholass) wrote:
>
> > "Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
> > news:cu1wukz...@nokia.com
> > > "Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> writes:
> > >> Sooner or later a woman with similar interests will turn up and you
> > >> will have breasts. It's been working for me for the last 20 years;-)
> > > But you need to have interests in more than just breasts.
> > Ornithology as it happens.
> > Bluet tits, Great tits, Robin red breasts...........
> > And the only part of a pigeon worth eating is the front part.
> >
> Boobies ;)

Since when has this been alt.fan.billoddie?

Cybercat

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Jan 21, 2003, 8:37:13 PM1/21/03
to
On Tue, 21 Jan 2003 15:41:06 -0000, "Gary Nicholass"
<ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> wrote:

>All very lovely but I tend to find myself more interested in the long term
>by the operating system. The hardware can always be upgraded ;-)
>

Too bad it's usually downgrading instead, as the results tend to be
worse than the original model, IMO.

Lucy Markes

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Jan 22, 2003, 5:16:05 AM1/22/03
to

"Kegs" <m...@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:m37kcyu...@localhost.localdomain...

> stee...@cix.co.uk (Steve James) writes:
>
> > In article <3e2ca272$1...@metisse.ciderspace.local>, ga...@ciderspace.org.uk
(Gary Nicholass) wrote:
> >
> > > "Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
> > > news:cu1wukz...@nokia.com
> > > > "Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> writes:
> > > >> Sooner or later a woman with similar interests will turn up and you
> > > >> will have breasts. It's been working for me for the last 20
years;-)
> > > > But you need to have interests in more than just breasts.
> > > Ornithology as it happens.
> > > Bluet tits, Great tits, Robin red breasts...........
> > > And the only part of a pigeon worth eating is the front part.
> > >
> > Boobies ;)
>
> Since when has this been alt.fan.billoddie?

What's a Billod Die?


The Uitlander

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Jan 22, 2003, 6:56:23 AM1/22/03
to
A large, elderly 'bearded' coot, somehwat akin to a dodo, that was
frequently sighted in the 1970s on British TV screens.

Lucy Markes wrote:

> What's a Billod Die?


--
**************************

The Uitlander

"A little learning is a dangerous thing.
Just imagine what damage you might do with a lot of it."

Gunna

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Jan 22, 2003, 8:14:06 AM1/22/03
to

"CCA" <sphi...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030119153610...@mb-ft.aol.com...

Yeah but in my experience, women tend to not like large, muscular men....
the current preference seems to be for very skinny men with ropy muscles. I
realise that this is a generalisation but no more than yours above. Men tend
to like all different shapes of women (this is a *very* regular topic
between my mates) and the attractiveness seems to more come from the way a
woman carries herself (our explanation)... It's a lot harder to explain it
than that. I have some women friends that are very conventionally visually
attractive but men just tend to not be attracted to them and cant really
explain why.

Gunna.


CCA

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Jan 22, 2003, 11:19:23 AM1/22/03
to
Gunna (>Symm...@IMSICKOFSPAM.catchnet.com.au) wrote

>"CCA" <sphi...@aol.com> wrote

>> Men like breasts because they haven't got them. Women like men's muscles
>> because they're different to ours

>Yeah but in my experience, women tend to not like large, muscular men....


>the current preference seems to be for very skinny men with ropy muscles. I
>realise that this is a generalisation but no more than yours above.

I did say I knew it was a generalisation. People are often attracted to
attributes different to their own, is what I was trying to say.
CCA:)


Steve James

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Jan 22, 2003, 4:12:00 PM1/22/03
to
In article <3e2d6b74$1...@metisse.ciderspace.local>, ga...@ciderspace.org.uk (Gary Nicholass) wrote:
> "Lucy Markes" <sp...@globalnet.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:FuacnXnBAeW...@brightview.com...
> > "Darin Johnson" <da...@usa.net> wrote in message
> > news:cu1wukz...@nokia.com...

> > > "Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> writes:
> > > > Sooner or later a woman with similar interests will turn up and you
> > > > wil have breasts. It's been working for me for the last 20 years;-)

> > > But you need to have interests in more than just breasts.
> > Legs and bums as well then?

> All very lovely but I tend to find myself more interested in the long term
> by the operating system. The hardware can always be upgraded ;-)
>
Yes, but the case and chassis are not usually included in the hardware
upgrade.

Gunna

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Jan 22, 2003, 5:43:24 PM1/22/03
to

"CCA" <sphi...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030122111923...@mb-fs.aol.com...

And what I was trying to get across is that I don't think that seems to be
the case, I think the androgenous look seems to be the one preferred by many
women... quite often a "bruce" as my friends seemed to have nicknamed them
(i.e. a man with very definate feminine attributes) seems to be the one who
is much more attractive, and I am still talking physical attraction, to the
opposite sex. With men as long as it is female with an ok outward
personality (non-verbal) it doesn't really matter what they look like.

Oh well this could all just be sour grapes from the male department though
:)

Gunna.


Eric Jarvis

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Jan 22, 2003, 5:58:32 PM1/22/03
to
Gunna wrote:
>
> "CCA" <sphi...@aol.com> wrote in message
> news:20030122111923...@mb-fs.aol.com...
> > Gunna (>Symm...@IMSICKOFSPAM.catchnet.com.au) wrote
> >
> > >"CCA" <sphi...@aol.com> wrote
> >
> > >> Men like breasts because they haven't got them. Women like men's
> muscles
> > >> because they're different to ours
> >
> > >Yeah but in my experience, women tend to not like large, muscular men....
> > >the current preference seems to be for very skinny men with ropy muscles.
> I
> > >realise that this is a generalisation but no more than yours above.
> >
> > I did say I knew it was a generalisation. People are often attracted to
> > attributes different to their own, is what I was trying to say.
> > CCA:)
>
> And what I was trying to get across is that I don't think that seems to be
> the case,
> <snip>

a bit of honesty

when it comes down to it, what we actually want and what
we theoretically want are completely different things

I've known my best friend for over twenty years...if
there is anyone who knows my tastes it's her...a few
years ago I was helping her out with a conference and she
warned me before coming into the office "you'll have
trouble with X, she's just your type"...so...on entering
the office that afternoon what happened...yep...fell
headlong for Y and went out with her for several
months...X never got a chance

why?...I don't entirely know...but a lot of it is to do
with coming up with a way to store a load of name badges
in alphabetical order by means of some clever messing
around with sellotape and paper clips

when it comes to the crunch, being able to do stuff
effectively with somebody is hellish attractive...and
what makes that happen is not amenable to labelling

Brian Wakeling

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Jan 23, 2003, 12:06:40 AM1/23/03
to
"Gunna" <Symm...@IMSICKOFSPAM.catchnet.com.au> wrote in message
news:b0m5en$up6$1...@library.lspace.org...

Yes! Result!
I'm over here! <g>


--
Sabremeister Brian :-)
Remove .invalid to reply
"I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory"

Axel Kielhorn

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Jan 23, 2003, 12:28:14 AM1/23/03
to
CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:

> gra...@affordable-leather.co.uk wrote


>
> >1. Breasts come in different sizes
>

> No disputing that one either.
>

How difficult is it to get a bra when your breast have different sizes?

Axel
--
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem ... Why are you crying
"Perfect" by Alanis Morissette

melinda

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Jan 23, 2003, 1:28:59 AM1/23/03
to
Axel Kielhorn <Axel....@gmx.de> wrote:
> CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:

>> gra...@affordable-leather.co.uk wrote
>> >1. Breasts come in different sizes
>> No disputing that one either.

> How difficult is it to get a bra when your breast have different sizes?

You pad out the small one to the size of the large one, buy bras to
the size of the large, easy! BTW I don't have to do this.

--
Melinda
<http://cust.idl.com.au/athol>

Sherilyn

unread,
Jan 23, 2003, 4:31:40 AM1/23/03
to
Eric Jarvis <use...@ericjarvis.co.uk> writes:
[...]

>
> a bit of honesty
>
> when it comes down to it, what we actually want and what
> we theoretically want are completely different things
>
> I've known my best friend for over twenty years...if
> there is anyone who knows my tastes it's her...a few
> years ago I was helping her out with a conference and she
> warned me before coming into the office "you'll have
> trouble with X, she's just your type"...so...on entering
> the office that afternoon what happened...yep...fell
> headlong for Y and went out with her for several
> months...X never got a chance
>
> why?...I don't entirely know...but a lot of it is to do
> with coming up with a way to store a load of name badges
> in alphabetical order by means of some clever messing
> around with sellotape and paper clips
>
Kinky doesn't even begin to describe it...
--
Sherilyn

CCA

unread,
Jan 23, 2003, 8:24:30 AM1/23/03
to
Eric Jarvis (>use...@ericjarvis.co.uk) wrote
(regarding attraction)

>when it comes to the crunch, being able to do stuff
>effectively with somebody is hellish attractive...and
>what makes that happen is not amenable to labelling

Yes, I think that's the best summing-up yet. And it has nothing to do with the
size of anyone's anything(s).
CCA:)

Louise Mac Mahon

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Jan 24, 2003, 10:55:01 AM1/24/03
to

"melinda" <melindam...@idl.net.au> wrote in message
news:1043303224.527869@webserver...

Me me. I am currently differently gifted in a bilateral non symmetrical
mammary way. The consequences of breastfeeding almost exclusively on one
side. One side of the bra is a bit loose. As everything attached to me is a
bit floppety and loose anyway at this late stage, one slightly roomy bra cup
doesn't spoil the effect. I couldn't be bothered padding anything. It's a
whole reupholstery job I'd need if I were to go down that road :-)
LOuise


Daibhid Ceannaideach

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Jan 24, 2003, 3:08:29 PM1/24/03
to
>
>From: The Uitlander uitl...@subdimension.com
>Date: 22/01/03 11:56 GMT Standard Time
>Message-id: <3E2E86E7...@subdimension.com

<Top-posting repositioned without comment (oops!)>

>
>Lucy Markes wrote:
>
>> What's a Billod Die?
>
>A large, elderly 'bearded' coot, somehwat akin to a dodo, that was
>frequently sighted in the 1970s on British TV screens.

He's on at least one now, as it happens. (Now being 20:06 on a Friday). Just a
funny coincidence. He's in Norfolk this week.
--
Dave
Now Official Absentee of EU Skiffeysoc for three years
http://www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/societies/sesoc
"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend."
-Advanced weapon training, Detritus style; Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Daibhid Ceannaideach

unread,
Jan 24, 2003, 3:14:36 PM1/24/03
to
>From: Eric Jarvis use...@ericjarvis.co.uk
>Date: 22/01/03 22:58 GMT Standard Time
>Message-id: <MPG.18993272b...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>

<snip>

>I've known my best friend for over twenty years...if
>there is anyone who knows my tastes it's her...a few
>years ago I was helping her out with a conference and she
>warned me before coming into the office "you'll have
>trouble with X, she's just your type"...so...on entering
>the office that afternoon what happened...yep...fell
>headlong for Y and went out with her for several
>months...X never got a chance
>
>why?...I don't entirely know...but a lot of it is to do
>with coming up with a way to store a load of name badges
>in alphabetical order by means of some clever messing
>around with sellotape and paper clips
>
>when it comes to the crunch, being able to do stuff
>effectively with somebody is hellish attractive...and
>what makes that happen is not amenable to labelling

...Alhough, apparently, it might *be* labelling 8-).

Caroline Alexander

unread,
Jan 24, 2003, 7:14:55 PM1/24/03
to
The Uitlander <uitl...@subdimension.com> asked:

> A large, elderly 'bearded' coot, somehwat akin to a dodo, that was
> frequently sighted in the 1970s on British TV screens.
>

> Lucy Markes answered:


>
> > What's a Billod Die?

Gzzz! Feels like I've landed in a game of "Jeopardy". ;-)

--
Caro.

Torak

unread,
Jan 24, 2003, 7:19:18 PM1/24/03
to
CCA wrote:
> gra...@affordable-leather.co.uk wrote
>
>> Apropos of another thread around here, here's something I found on a
>> website....
>>
>> ;-)
>>
>> What Men Know About Women
>
>> 10. They have breasts
>
> Can't deny that one.

It's a rather difficult fact to avoid, considering that blokes seem to spend
their days ogling them. Why? There's a time and place for that, usually in
the privacy of their own home. But hey, to each their own, I suppose.

>> 9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday
>
> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.

I'll take it off your hands. I need a gas stove - it's better for my wok. At
the moment I have to settle for a (albeit very nice) flat-bottomed IKEA wok
which works on electric hobs.

I could do with a powered whisk and a proper Chinese cleaver as well, in
case anyone's thinking birthday thoughts.

>> 7. They like to stay in and not go out
>
> Depends largely on the woman, the circumstances, and what activities
> would be on the agenda if staying in.

I prefer staying in.

This is getting worrying.

>> 5 They like to watch football

Ah, good, I'm not a woman.

I hate footie. Well, except when we were beating everyone including
Argentina. And we stuffed the Swedes, too.

Oh, I am Swedish.

Bugger.

>> 3. When they say no they really mean yes
>
> No-one here needs telling that this is bollocks, I'm sure.

When I say no (though I realise we were discussing women, I'm sure they
agree - since they usually have much more sense than us blokes) I mean
"Bugger off, never come back, and shove that DUCK week shaving foam pie
where the sun don't shine."

Occasionally I twist their arm to clarify.

>> 1. Breasts come in different sizes
>
> No disputing that one either.

I'll leave that research to you.


Brian Wakeling

unread,
Jan 24, 2003, 9:45:48 PM1/24/03
to
"Caroline Alexander" <spam....@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:1fp77zl.d288qfu5ejyN%spam....@gmx.net...

What the Hell's "Jeopardy" when it's at home?
(Apart from being a synonym of "Mortal bloody danger, you fool!")

--
Sabremeister Brian :-)
Remove .invalid to reply

"He who laughs last, thinks slowest"

Caroline Alexander

unread,
Jan 24, 2003, 10:09:04 PM1/24/03
to
Brian Wakeling <b.wak...@virgin.net.invalid> wrote:

> "Caroline Alexander" <spam....@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:1fp77zl.d288qfu5ejyN%spam....@gmx.net...
> > The Uitlander <uitl...@subdimension.com> asked:
> >
> > > A large, elderly 'bearded' coot, somehwat akin to a dodo,
> that was
> > > frequently sighted in the 1970s on British TV screens.
> > >
> > > Lucy Markes answered:
> > >
> > > > What's a Billod Die?
> >
> > Gzzz! Feels like I've landed in a game of "Jeopardy". ;-)
> >
>
> What the Hell's "Jeopardy" when it's at home?
> (Apart from being a synonym of "Mortal bloody danger, you fool!")

A gameshow. I don't know about your home, but in mine it's called that.
It's the one where you get an answer and have to find the question to
it.

--
Caro.

CCA

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 6:41:04 AM1/25/03
to
Torak (>a.w.m...@durham.ac.uk) wrote

>CCA wrote:

>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.

>I'll take it off your hands. I need a gas stove - it's better for my wok.

You've got a wok? <envious> Always fancied having one of those things. Pity
I'm such a crap cook...

>When I say no (though I realise we were discussing women, I'm sure they
>agree - since they usually have much more sense than us blokes) I mean

>"Bugger off, never come back..."

Good to know your own mind!
CCA:)


CCA

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 6:44:20 AM1/25/03
to
Caroline Alexander (>spam....@gmx.net) wrote

>Brian Wakeling <b.wak...@virgin.net.invalid> wrote:

>> What the Hell's "Jeopardy" when it's at home?

>A gameshow. I don't know about your home, but in mine it's called that.


>It's the one where you get an answer and have to find the question to
>it.

We had an ongoing cascade thread about a year ago called 'Afper Jeopardy.'
Great fun it was too. Anyone wanting to play it again, just say the word.
CCA:)

David Chapman

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 5:20:49 AM1/25/03
to
The Department of Pre-Crime reports that Brian Wakeling will say:

> "Caroline Alexander" <spam....@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:1fp77zl.d288qfu5ejyN%spam....@gmx.net...
>> The Uitlander <uitl...@subdimension.com> asked:
>>
>>> A large, elderly 'bearded' coot, somehwat akin to a dodo, that was
>>> frequently sighted in the 1970s on British TV screens.
>>>
>>> Lucy Markes answered:
>>>
>>>> What's a Billod Die?
>>
>> Gzzz! Feels like I've landed in a game of "Jeopardy". ;-)

> What the Hell's "Jeopardy" when it's at home?

Sorry, Brian, your answer must be phrased in the form of a question. You
lose 100 points.

--
Dark don't lie, dreams come true
Could be a few will see you through


Stevie D

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 10:03:47 AM1/25/03
to
CCA wrote:

> Great fun it was too. Anyone wanting to play it again, just say the word.

Which word?

--
Stevie D
\\\\\ ///// Bringing dating agencies to the
\\\\\\\__X__/////// common hedgehog since 2001 - "HedgeHugs"
___\\\\\\\'/ \'///////_____________________________________________

Andrew Irish

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 11:00:01 AM1/25/03
to
Stevie D wrote:
> CCA wrote:
>
>
>>Great fun it was too. Anyone wanting to play it again, just say the word.
>
>
> Which word?
>

I'll probably play, if someone starts it.

(I was going to, but there might not be more than us three, which would
be pointless...)

--
Mrs Trellis,
North Wales

Andrew Irish

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 10:49:52 AM1/25/03
to
Stevie D wrote:
> CCA wrote:
>
>
>>Great fun it was too. Anyone wanting to play it again, just say the word.
>
>
> Which word?
>

I'll probably play, if someone starts it.

Jonathan Ellis

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 12:02:58 PM1/25/03
to

"Andrew Irish" <a_i...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:PvyY9.2159$L56....@newsfep1-gui.server.ntli.net...
[re. Jeopardy]

>A. I'll probably play, if someone starts it.
Q. Fancy a game of Jeopardy?

A. It's fat and round and weighs three to the pound.


Andrew Irish

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 12:17:23 PM1/25/03
to

Q. How's your experimental chicken clone going?

A. Titanium alloy, with added marmite. Parsley optional.


Dom

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 12:24:05 PM1/25/03
to
Q. What sort of pizza does your 'droid like?

A. 400 volts, except on Tuesdays.

MP

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 12:38:25 PM1/25/03
to

Q. How do you describe _really_ ripe Edam?

A. Willow
--
"One shouldn't pretend to be a dentist.
It creates a false impression."
- Oscar Wilde, Importance of Being Earnest

Lady Kayla

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 12:48:56 PM1/25/03
to
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 17:45:22 +0000 (UTC), The Flying Hamster <hamster...@nospam.wibble.org> wrote:

> On 19 Jan 2003 14:15:02 GMT, CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:

>>>9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday

>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.
>

> What about a nice sharp set of knives or similar fun items? :)

Knives, by their very nature, are not "kitchen stuff". Blenders and
food processors, OTOH, while being sharp, are "kitchen stuff" and not
suitable presents.

You can buy me as many knives as you wish.



>>>1. Breasts come in different sizes
>> No disputing that one either.
>

> What? No "one size fits all"?

No.

HTH. HAND.

*g*
--
Lady Kayla http://designs.ladykayla.org/
"at least I'm not so far back in the closet that I'm in fucking Narnia!" -
Gimme, gimme, gimme

The Flying Hamster

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 12:45:22 PM1/25/03
to
On 19 Jan 2003 14:15:02 GMT, CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:
>>9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday
> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.

What about a nice sharp set of knives or similar fun items? :)

>>1. Breasts come in different sizes
> No disputing that one either.

What? No "one size fits all"?

--
The Flying Hamster <ham...@korenwolf.net> http://www.korenwolf.net/
"Understanding is a three-edged sword."
-- Ambassador Kosh, "Deathwalker"

Daibhid Ceannaideach

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:00:15 PM1/25/03
to
Q. What is the training regime of a dyslexic gymnast?

A. To get to the other side

CCA

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:12:52 PM1/25/03
to
The Flying Hamster (>hamster...@nospam.wibble.org) wrote

>CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:

>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.

>What about a nice sharp set of knives or similar fun items? :)

Hmmm... An angle I hadn't considered, certainly. But I still wouldn't want
such a thing for my birthday.
CCA:)

Guitar Huw

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:18:01 PM1/25/03
to
On 25 Jan 2003 18:00:15 GMT, Daibhid Ceannaideach said
> >
> >From: dom...@blueyonder.co.uk (Dom )
> >Date: 25/01/03 17:24 GMT Standard Time
> >Message-id: <VKzY9.4547$dJ2.30...@news-text.cableinet.net>
> >
> >Andrew Irish wrote:
> >>Jonathan Ellis wrote:
> >>> "Andrew Irish" <a_i...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> >>> news:PvyY9.2159$L56....@newsfep1-gui.server.ntli.net...
> >>> [re. Jeopardy]
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>>A. I'll probably play, if someone starts it.
> >>>
> >>> Q. Fancy a game of Jeopardy?
> >>>
> >>> A. It's fat and round and weighs three to the pound.
> >>
> >>Q. How's your experimental chicken clone going?
> >>
> >>A. Titanium alloy, with added marmite. Parsley optional.
> >>
> >Q. What sort of pizza does your 'droid like?
> >
> >A. 400 volts, except on Tuesdays.
> >
> Q. What is the training regime of a dyslexic gymnast?
>
> A. To get to the other side
>
Q. Why do you need spies?

A. Jeffrey Archer

--
Huw
The Doctor told me to cut down on the .sigs

Caroline Alexander

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:14:39 PM1/25/03
to
Daibhid Ceannaideach <daibhidc...@aol.com> wrote:

> >From: dom...@blueyonder.co.uk (Dom )
> >Andrew Irish wrote:
> >>Jonathan Ellis wrote:
> >>> "Andrew Irish" <a_i...@yahoo.com> wrote in message

> >>>>A. I'll probably play, if someone starts it.
> >>>
> >>> Q. Fancy a game of Jeopardy?
> >>>
> >>> A. It's fat and round and weighs three to the pound.
> >>
> >>Q. How's your experimental chicken clone going?
> >>
> >>A. Titanium alloy, with added marmite. Parsley optional.
> >>
> >Q. What sort of pizza does your 'droid like?
> >
> >A. 400 volts, except on Tuesdays.
> >
> Q. What is the training regime of a dyslexic gymnast?
>
> A. To get to the other side

Q. Why did you just nuke a hole in that door?

A. Green teeth. Preferably the sticky kind.

--
Caro.

CCA

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:17:10 PM1/25/03
to
Stevie D (>stevieiny...@yahoo.co.uk) wrote

>CCA wrote:

>> Great fun it was too. Anyone wanting to play it again, just say the word.

>Which word?

Well, I was tempted to say 'gold'[1], but won't...
I'll leave the choice of word up to whoever says it.
CCA:)
[1] Recently-discovered gold addiction, don't ask...

Frank Flæsland

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:18:20 PM1/25/03
to
Guitar Huw <ghus...@ntlworld.com> keyed in:

Q. Who fired that bow?

A. Small and mushy.

--
Frank H. Flæsland "Oook?" "Just a half then?" "Oook."
fhf at pogostick dot net - Terry Pratchett

CCA

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:22:26 PM1/25/03
to
MP (>mpj...@bleurgh.net) wrote

>>[re. Jeopardy]
>>
>>>A. I'll probably play, if someone starts it.
>>Q. Fancy a game of Jeopardy?
>>
>>A. It's fat and round and weighs three to the pound.
>
>Q. How do you describe _really_ ripe Edam?
>
>A. Willow

Q What's a good way to get a Buffy TVS reference into this somehow?

A Don't let the neighbours get their hands on this or there'll be trouble.

CCA:)

Andrew Irish

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:31:58 PM1/25/03
to

Q. What're the names of the main characters in that new detective series?

A. There is no spoon

Beth Winter

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:52:41 PM1/25/03
to
The Flying Hamster wrote:
>
> On 19 Jan 2003 14:15:02 GMT, CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:
<snip>

> >>1. Breasts come in different sizes
> > No disputing that one either.
>
> What? No "one size fits all"?

May I take a moment to state that "one size fits all" is a complete
abomination? I have yet to see a single item of clothing for which this
would be true.

My absolute favorites are 'one size fits all' hats and gloves. Let's
just say that currently both my hat and gloves are custom-made.

--
Beth Winter, PSP terrorist - New Millenium Division
The Discworld Compendium <http://www.extenuation.net/disc/>
"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods and the season of mists."
-- Neil Gaiman

CCA

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 1:56:29 PM1/25/03
to
Caroline Alexander (>spam....@gmx.net) wrote

>Daibhid Ceannaideach <daibhidc...@aol.com> wrote:

Q What attributes do you most look for in partner?

A Well, it really was quite a big horse.

CCA:)

Michael J. Schülke

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 2:17:29 PM1/25/03
to
Beth Winter wrote:

> May I take a moment to state that "one size fits all" is a complete
> abomination? I have yet to see a single item of clothing for which this
> would be true.

Ties?

--
From-address is valid, but used as spam trap. Use the reply-to address,
substituting the current year and month if necessary.

Frank Flæsland

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 2:47:52 PM1/25/03
to
Michale J Schülke keyed in:

> Beth Winter wrote:
>
>
>> May I take a moment to state that "one size fits all" is a complete
>> abomination? I have yet to see a single item of clothing for which this
>> would be true.
>
>
> Ties?
>

No, Mine are always too tight in the neck....

Beth Winter

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 2:50:41 PM1/25/03
to
"Michael J. Schülke" wrote:
>
> Beth Winter wrote:
>
> > May I take a moment to state that "one size fits all" is a complete
> > abomination? I have yet to see a single item of clothing for which this
> > would be true.
>
> Ties?

One word... width ^_~

But yeah, probably right. Too bad I don't wear them, and the short
scarves I wear with some 'smart' clothing are usually either just too
short or just too long for a neat double loop...

--
Beth Winter

Kegs

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 3:05:34 PM1/25/03
to
sphi...@aol.com (CCA) writes:
[snipped to remove all context]

> A Well, it really was quite a big horse.

IJWTSTA


--
James
jamesk[at]beeb[dot]net

Go ahead, make my bed - Maaike in alt.fan.pratchett

MP

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 3:12:28 PM1/25/03
to
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 17:48:56 +0000 (UTC), Lady Kayla
<lady...@suespammers.org> wrote:

>On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 17:45:22 +0000 (UTC), The Flying Hamster <hamster...@nospam.wibble.org> wrote:
>> On 19 Jan 2003 14:15:02 GMT, CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>>>9. They like kitchen stuff for their birthday
>>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.
>>
>> What about a nice sharp set of knives or similar fun items? :)
>
>Knives, by their very nature, are not "kitchen stuff". Blenders and
>food processors, OTOH, while being sharp, are "kitchen stuff" and not
>suitable presents.

But they are fun... Me and GF got given a juicer and a little
hand-blender fro Christmas, and we liked this... They are useful and
fun!
I've also been given a microwave before...

>You can buy me as many knives as you wish.

Don't like knives... Especially evil bread knives...

>>>>1. Breasts come in different sizes
>>> No disputing that one either.
>>
>> What? No "one size fits all"?
>
>No.

What about those bras with little pump bits in[1]?

MP

[1] See "Bend it Like Beckham" for an example. I've never seen them in
real life, I must admit...

MP

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 3:16:48 PM1/25/03
to
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 18:31:58 +0000, Andrew Irish <a_i...@yahoo.com>
wrote:

>Frank Flæsland wrote:
>> Guitar Huw <ghus...@ntlworld.com> keyed in:
>>
>>> On 25 Jan 2003 18:00:15 GMT, Daibhid Ceannaideach said

<snip on account of getting annoyingly scrolly>


>>> A. Jeffrey Archer
>> Q. Who fired that bow?
>>
>> A. Small and mushy.
>Q. What're the names of the main characters in that new detective series?
>
>A. There is no spoon

Q. What is the twist in the new Agatha Christie mystery?

A. January, perhaps February, but never March

Eric Jarvis

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 3:14:35 PM1/25/03
to

Q. Why did the fork cross the road?

A. On Mother Kelly's doorstep.

--
eric - afprelationships in headers
www.ericjarvis.co.uk
"live fast, die only if strictly necessary"

CCA

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 3:26:56 PM1/25/03
to
Kegs (>m...@privacy.net) wrote

>sphi...@aol.com (CCA) writes:
>[snipped to remove all context]

>> A Well, it really was quite a big horse.

>IJWTSTA

Er... <tries to work it out>
'I Just Want To Say...'?
'I Just Want To See That Again'?
'I Just Want to See That Animal'?
No, it's no good...would you mind telling what it means?
CCA:) who knows she may regret asking that.

Kegs

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 3:50:16 PM1/25/03
to
sphi...@aol.com (CCA) writes:

You were practically spot on with the second guess

"I just wanted to see that again"

See nothing to be afraid of...
not icky in anyway

--
James
jamesk[at]beeb[dot]net

Is this a case of the Government saying "You are <xyz> and I claim my £5"?
-Robert Arthur on afp

Torak

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 4:20:33 PM1/25/03
to
Beth Winter wrote:
> The Flying Hamster wrote:
>>
>> On 19 Jan 2003 14:15:02 GMT, CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:
> <snip>
>>>> 1. Breasts come in different sizes
>>> No disputing that one either.
>>
>> What? No "one size fits all"?
>
> May I take a moment to state that "one size fits all" is a complete
> abomination? I have yet to see a single item of clothing for which this
> would be true.
>
> My absolute favorites are 'one size fits all' hats and gloves. Let's
> just say that currently both my hat and gloves are custom-made.

Agreed - IME "one size fits all" usually means "the one size guaranteed to
fit absolutely nobody on Earth and probably very few elsewhere in the galaxy
either".


Mary Messall

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 5:40:04 PM1/25/03
to
MP wrote:
> On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 17:48:56 +0000 (UTC), Lady Kayla
> <lady...@suespammers.org> wrote:
> >On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 17:45:22 +0000 (UTC), The Flying Hamster <hamster...@nospam.wibble.org> wrote:
> >> What? No "one size fits all"?
> >No.
> What about those bras with little pump bits in[1]?
> [1] See "Bend it Like Beckham" for an example. I've never seen them in
> real life, I must admit...

Would you admit it if you had?

-Mary

Andrew Irish

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 4:59:20 PM1/25/03
to
MP wrote:
> On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 18:31:58 +0000, Andrew Irish <a_i...@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
>
>>Frank Flæsland wrote:
>>
>>>Guitar Huw <ghus...@ntlworld.com> keyed in:
>>>
>>>
>>>>On 25 Jan 2003 18:00:15 GMT, Daibhid Ceannaideach said
>
> <snip on account of getting annoyingly scrolly>
>
>>>>A. Jeffrey Archer
>>>
>>>Q. Who fired that bow?
>>>
>>>A. Small and mushy.
>>
>>Q. What're the names of the main characters in that new detective series?
>>
>>A. There is no spoon
>
>
> Q. What is the twist in the new Agatha Christie mystery?
>
> A. January, perhaps February, but never March

Q. How should a civilian walk in an army base?

A. 25, except when the moon is directly underneath


Ben Hutchings

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 5:48:50 PM1/25/03
to
In article <20030125064104...@mb-cn.aol.com>, CCA wrote:
> Torak (>a.w.m...@durham.ac.uk) wrote

>
>>CCA wrote:
>
>>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.
>
>>I'll take it off your hands. I need a gas stove - it's better for my wok.
>
> You've got a wok? <envious> Always fancied having one of those things.

They're not expensive. Not all of them, anyway.

> Pity I'm such a crap cook...
<snip>

Woks are easy to use, as long as you're prepared to move quickly.
Recipes using a wok tend to go like this:

1. Chop up ingredients.
2. Put small amount of [usually peanut] oil in wok.
3. Heat until wok is smoking.
[2 and 3 are sometimes reversed]
4. Add strong flavourings. [e.g. garlic, ginger, chili]
5. [quickly after] Add other ingredients.
6. Stir for a few minutes.
7. Add and stir in sauce.

--
Ben Hutchings | personal web site: http://womble.decadentplace.org.uk/
Make three consecutive correct guesses and you will be considered an expert.

Orjan Westin

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 6:22:20 PM1/25/03
to

Well, I remember when boys were happily showing off their pump trainers, and
given the mythological anatomical correspontence between foot and penis
size...

Orjan
I will pump, pump, pump ! for your love - I will pump, pump, pump ! for
your dreams
I will pump, pump, pump ! for my life - I will pump, pump, pump ! for my
dreams


Torak

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 6:13:13 PM1/25/03
to
Ben Hutchings wrote:
> In article <20030125064104...@mb-cn.aol.com>, CCA wrote:
>> Torak (>a.w.m...@durham.ac.uk) wrote
>>
>>> CCA wrote:
>>
>>>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.
>>
>>> I'll take it off your hands. I need a gas stove - it's better for my
>>> wok.
>>
>> You've got a wok? <envious> Always fancied having one of those things.
>
> They're not expensive. Not all of them, anyway.
>
>> Pity I'm such a crap cook...
> <snip>
>
> Woks are easy to use, as long as you're prepared to move quickly.
> Recipes using a wok tend to go like this:
>
> 1. Chop up ingredients.
> 2. Put small amount of [usually peanut] oil in wok.
> 3. Heat until wok is smoking.
> [2 and 3 are sometimes reversed]
> 4. Add strong flavourings. [e.g. garlic, ginger, chili]
> 5. [quickly after] Add other ingredients.
> 6. Stir for a few minutes.
> 7. Add and stir in sauce.

A few minutes? Wow, going for overcooked food? ;-)

For me, heating the oil usually takes longer than actually cooking the food.
With fried rice, by the way, add the peas from frozen - then they're nice
and crunchy (but still cooked) when they're served.


Graycat

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 7:20:05 PM1/25/03
to
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 22:48:50 +0000, Ben Hutchings
<ben-publ...@decadentplace.org.uk> wrote:

<snip>

>Woks are easy to use, as long as you're prepared to move quickly.
>Recipes using a wok tend to go like this:
>
>1. Chop up ingredients.
>2. Put small amount of [usually peanut]


And this ladies and gentlemen, should be outlawed! I _love_ asian food
and woked food, but am allergic to peanuts in any shape and form (had
nasty reaction yesterday, still bummed) and wish the buggers had never
been imported from South America in the first place.

<grumble>

Elin

The Tale of Westala and Villtin
http://www.student.lu.se/~his02ero/index.html

Graycat

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Jan 25, 2003, 7:30:15 PM1/25/03
to
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 16:00:01 +0000, Andrew Irish <a_i...@yahoo.com>
wrote:

>Stevie D wrote:
>> CCA wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Great fun it was too. Anyone wanting to play it again, just say the word.
>>
>>
>> Which word?
>>
>

>I'll probably play, if someone starts it.
>

>(I was going to, but there might not be more than us three, which would
>be pointless...)

ok.

"Go!"

Graycat

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Jan 25, 2003, 7:33:52 PM1/25/03
to
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 21:59:20 +0000, Andrew Irish <a_i...@yahoo.com>
wrote:

Q. How long is a piece of string?

A. Millenium hand and shrimp

Torak

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Jan 25, 2003, 7:30:44 PM1/25/03
to
Orjan Westin wrote:
> Mary Messall wrote:
>> MP wrote:
>>> On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 17:48:56 +0000 (UTC), Lady Kayla
>>> <lady...@suespammers.org> wrote:
>>>> On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 17:45:22 +0000 (UTC), The Flying Hamster
>>>> <hamster...@nospam.wibble.org> wrote:
>>>>> What? No "one size fits all"?
>>>> No.
>>> What about those bras with little pump bits in[1]?
>>> [1] See "Bend it Like Beckham" for an example. I've never seen them
>>> in real life, I must admit...
>>
>> Would you admit it if you had?
>
> Well, I remember when boys were happily showing off their pump trainers,
> and given the mythological anatomical correspontence between foot and
> penis size...

Eh? So that's why people react so strangely when I mention my size 13s (48
European).

Oddly enough, I've never bothered to check the comparison, and equally oddly
I'm unlikely to do so in the near future.


Maaike

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Jan 25, 2003, 8:41:57 PM1/25/03
to
On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 18:31:58 +0000, Andrew Irish <a_i...@yahoo.com>
wrote:

>Frank Flæsland wrote:

Q. Why can't you tunnel your way out of this cell?

A. It's a ravenous band of dancing hamsters.

Daibhid Ceannaideach

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Jan 25, 2003, 8:46:11 PM1/25/03
to

Q. What was the American cover blurb for "The Amazing Maurice"?

A. Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor
--
Dave
Now Official Absentee of EU Skiffeysoc for three years
http://www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/societies/sesoc
"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend."
-Advanced weapon training, Detritus style; Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

Gunna

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Jan 25, 2003, 9:17:08 PM1/25/03
to

"Daibhid Ceannaideach" <daibhidc...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030125204611...@mb-cc.aol.com...

Q. Who was the surprise guest surgeon on "real operations"?

A. A sexually frustrated Parakeet.

Gunna.


Alec Cawley

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Jan 25, 2003, 6:33:04 PM1/25/03
to
Michael J. Schülke wrote:

> Beth Winter wrote:
>
>> May I take a moment to state that "one size fits all" is a complete
>> abomination? I have yet to see a single item of clothing for which this
>> would be true.
>
> Ties?

No. If you are tall, and your height is in the body, and yopu have got a
teeny-weeny bit rotund with age, ties do not tescent far enough. A tie
which would fit me would go below crotch level on a short man.

Scarves?

Imitation Dr Spock Point ears?

--
@lec Šawley
From address is valid

Torak

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Jan 25, 2003, 8:34:39 PM1/25/03
to

Q. What is the most sensible comment ever to come out of the Houses Of
Parliament?

A. Screwdrivers, probably.


Gunna

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Jan 25, 2003, 9:36:58 PM1/25/03
to

"Gary Nicholass" <ga...@ciderspace.org.uk> wrote in message
news:3e33471f$1...@metisse.ciderspace.local...
> "Beth Winter" <ren...@astercity.net> wrote in message
> news:3E32DCF9...@astercity.net

> > The Flying Hamster wrote:
> >>
> >> On 19 Jan 2003 14:15:02 GMT, CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:
> > <snip>
> >>>> 1. Breasts come in different sizes
> >>> No disputing that one either.
> >>
> >> What? No "one size fits all"?
> >
> > May I take a moment to state that "one size fits all" is a complete
> > abomination? I have yet to see a single item of clothing for which
> > this would be true.
>
> I believe body bags are designed that way - of course that's regarding
> clothing in the strict sense of "a body covering". XXXL T-shirts are
> perhaps another example. Nobody said they have to fit well ;-)
>
Exactly, as a large guy (especially wide across the shoulders) I have a
range of T-shirts ranging from XL to 8XL (most of them are 3-5 XL).
I get sick of a lot of these people trying to pass off stuff as one-size
fits well, or the other crappy sales pitch of "it will stretch/shrink to fit
you"

Gunna.


Eric Jarvis

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Jan 25, 2003, 9:36:25 PM1/25/03
to

I wouldn't bother...I've heard it said about feet and
I've heard it said about noses...and I have a moderately
large nose...but until the age of 20 I had extremely
small feet, they then put on a spurt and just about
reached average...this has not affected the size of my
keyboard

ergo there is no connection

Gunna

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Jan 25, 2003, 9:51:15 PM1/25/03
to

"Eric Jarvis" <use...@ericjarvis.co.uk> wrote in message
news:MPG.189d5a042...@News.CIS.DFN.DE...
But interstingly enough there is a connection between the lenth of your feet
and you forearm. From the wrist to the joint of your elbow is almost exactly
the same length (to within how flexible the person is if no ruler is
available :)

This has worked on everyone I have tried it on, including thouse with a
large "ape-factor" as one of my ex's used to put it.

Gunna.


Eric Jarvis

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Jan 25, 2003, 9:45:27 PM1/25/03
to
Gunna wrote:
> "Daibhid Ceannaideach" wrote:
> > From: Maaike

> > >Andrew Irish wrote:
> > >>Frank Flæsland wrote:
> > >>> Guitar Huw keyed in:
> > >>>> Daibhid Ceannaideach said
> > >>>>> (Dom )

> > >>>>> >Andrew Irish wrote:
> > >>>>> >>Jonathan Ellis wrote:
> > >>>>> >>> "Andrew Irish" wrote:
> > >>>>> >>> [re. Jeopardy]
> > >>>>> >>>>A. I'll probably play, if someone starts it.
> > >>>>> >>> >>> Q. Fancy a game of Jeopardy?
> > >>>>> >>> >>> A. It's fat and round and weighs three to the pound.
> > >>>>>>>Q. How's your experimental chicken clone going?
> > >>>>>>>A. Titanium alloy, with added marmite. Parsley optional.
> > >>>>>>Q. What sort of pizza does your 'droid like?
> > >>>>>>A. 400 volts, except on Tuesdays.
> > >>>>> Q. What is the training regime of a dyslexic gymnast?
> > >>>>> A. To get to the other side
> > >>>> Q. Why do you need spies?
> > >>>> A. Jeffrey Archer
> > >>> Q. Who fired that bow?
> > >>> A. Small and mushy.
> > >>Q. What're the names of the main characters in that new detective
> > >> series?
> > >>A. There is no spoon
> > >Q. Why can't you tunnel your way out of this cell?
> > >A. It's a ravenous band of dancing hamsters.
> >
> > Q. What was the American cover blurb for "The Amazing Maurice"?
> >
> > A. Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor
>
> Q. Who was the surprise guest surgeon on "real operations"?
>
> A. A sexually frustrated Parakeet.
>

Q. Guess who's coming to dinner?

A. On a diet of peanut butter, basil and cranberries

Eric Jarvis

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Jan 25, 2003, 9:47:41 PM1/25/03
to
Gary Nicholass wrote:
> "CCA" <sphi...@aol.com> wrote in message
> news:20030125131252...@mb-fr.aol.com
> > The Flying Hamster (>hamster...@nospam.wibble.org) wrote

> >
> >> CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:
> >
> >>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.
> >
> >> What about a nice sharp set of knives or similar fun items? :)
> >
> > Hmmm... An angle I hadn't considered, certainly. But I still
> > wouldn't want such a thing for my birthday.
> > CCA:)
>
> It would, of course, make the killing so much more immediate and personal -
> and the giver would at least have the (albeit brief) gratification of
> knowing that their gift had been put to use............
>

I can see the advertising campaign now

"Say it with senseless violence"

could catch on

Adrian Ogden

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Jan 25, 2003, 9:47:56 PM1/25/03
to
daibhidc...@aol.com (Daibhid Ceannaideach) writes:

>>
>>From: Maaike moust...@gmx.net
>>Date: 26/01/03 01:41 GMT Standard Time
>>Message-id: <46d6g8lmr83nf93bl...@4ax.com>
>>
>>On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 18:31:58 +0000, Andrew Irish <a_i...@yahoo.com>
>>wrote:
>>

Q. Who should they cast as Dumbledore in the next Harry Potter movie?o

A. Cinnamon, tarragon, and just a hint of aardvark.

--
<< Adrian Ogden -- "Sic Biscuitus Disintegrat" -- www.rdg.ac.uk/~sssogadr/ >>

"`Love Me, Love My Bomb' is *not* going to be the motto of this household."

Torak

unread,
Jan 25, 2003, 11:26:33 PM1/25/03
to
Gunna wrote:
>>
> But interstingly enough there is a connection between the lenth of your
> feet and you forearm. From the wrist to the joint of your elbow is almost
> exactly the same length (to within how flexible the person is if no ruler
> is available :)
>
> This has worked on everyone I have tried it on, including thouse with a
> large "ape-factor" as one of my ex's used to put it.

Agreed, and that's something I often use in my drawings - in general, all
the following are (more or less) equal (at least on me):

Lower arm
Upper arm
Foot
"Just-after-the-knee-joint-to-just-before-the-ankle"
"Just-after-the-hip-joint-to-just-before-the-knee"
Chin - top of head
Handspan
Hand length + hand width

Of course, all this would be far more useful and relevant if I was actually
any *good* at drawing, but hey...

In the unlikely event that anyone's remotely interested, I've got a few of
my drawings on my site at www.andrew-perry.com


Steve James

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Jan 26, 2003, 3:48:00 AM1/26/03
to

Q. What were the winning words at the last World Scrabble competition

A. Who ate all the pies?


Steve (Steeljam) *BF DAcFD (UU) *
Resident Opsimath in Redivivus Studies

Steve James

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Jan 26, 2003, 3:51:00 AM1/26/03
to
In article <3e332c0a...@news.student.lu.se>, gra...@passagen.se (Graycat) wrote:
> On Sat, 25 Jan 2003 16:00:01 +0000, Andrew Irish <a_i...@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
> >Stevie D wrote:
> >> CCA wrote:
> >>>Great fun it was too. Anyone wanting to play it again, just say the word.
> >> Which word?
> >I'll probably play, if someone starts it.
> >(I was going to, but there might not be more than us three, which would
> >be pointless...)
> ok.
>
> "Go!"
>
A. What's that Japanese board game called?

Q. Have we started yet? ;)

April Goodwin-Smith

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Jan 26, 2003, 3:47:30 AM1/26/03
to

Torak wrote:
> Graycat wrote:
> > Andrew Irish wrote:
> >> MP wrote:


> >>> Andrew Irish wrote:
> >>>> Frank Flæsland wrote:

> >>>>> Guitar Huw keyed in:


> >>>>>> Daibhid Ceannaideach said
> >>>
> >>> <snip on account of getting annoyingly scrolly>
> >>>
> >>>>>> A. Jeffrey Archer
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Q. Who fired that bow?
> >>>>>
> >>>>> A. Small and mushy.
> >>>>
> >>>> Q. What're the names of the main characters in that
> >>>> new detective series?
> >>>>
> >>>> A. There is no spoon
> >>>
> >>> Q. What is the twist in the new Agatha Christie mystery?
> >>>
> >>> A. January, perhaps February, but never March
> >>
> >> Q. How should a civilian walk in an army base?
> >>
> >> A. 25, except when the moon is directly underneath
> >
> > Q. How long is a piece of string?
> >
> > A. Millenium hand and shrimp
>
> Q. What is the most sensible comment ever to come out of
> the Houses Of Parliament?
>
> A. Screwdrivers, probably.

Q. What does the bursar use to wash down his dried frog pills?

A. A dictionary, a pillow, a map of tertiary industries,
and his neighbour's clothes drying rack.

--
"Things that try to look like things often do look more
like things than things. Well known fact."
Esmerelda Weatherwax (Pratchett 1988)

Steve James

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Jan 26, 2003, 4:25:00 AM1/26/03
to
In article <cu1u1fw...@nokia.com>, da...@usa.net (Darin Johnson) wrote:

> "Torak" <a.w.m...@durham.ac.uk> writes:
> > Oddly enough, I've never bothered to check the comparison, and equally oddly
> > I'm unlikely to do so in the near future.
> A television show that I _think_ is British, Banzai, had the viewer
> guess which of three men had the longest item by looking only at their
> feet. The white guy with average length feet won. Of course, I was
> spewing my beer across the hotel room thinking "you can't show that on
> TV!"
>
They did another which concerned the weight of some suitable vegetables
compared to the weight of the genitals of a soap star who played a
market trader who sold vegetables.

Steve James

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Jan 26, 2003, 4:25:00 AM1/26/03
to
In article <MPG.189d5ca35...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, use...@ericjarvis.co.uk (Eric Jarvis) wrote:
> Gary Nicholass wrote:
> > "CCA" <sphi...@aol.com> wrote in message
> > news:20030125131252...@mb-fr.aol.com
> > > The Flying Hamster (>hamster...@nospam.wibble.org) wrote
> > >> CCA <sphi...@aol.com> wrote:
> > >>> Anyone buying me kitchen stuff for my birthday would be killed.
> > >> What about a nice sharp set of knives or similar fun items? :)
> > > Hmmm... An angle I hadn't considered, certainly. But I still
> > > wouldn't want such a thing for my birthday.
> > > CCA:)
> > It would, of course, make the killing so much more immediate and personal -
> > and the giver would at least have the (albeit brief) gratification of
> > knowing that their gift had been put to use............
> I can see the advertising campaign now
>
> "Say it with senseless violence"
> could catch on
>

For the man who has everything? Try senseless violence.

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