12 June Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41DCF32F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4109C895...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > >
> > > > > Parapet: Supernatural dog or cat.
> > > >
> > > > Paralize: Supernatural fibs.
> > >
> > > Parabolas: Supernatural Mexican hunting device that tangles the
legs
> > of the
> > > prey.
> > >
> > > Parador: Supernatural entrance, e.g., what the Ancient Egyptians
had
> > so that
> > > the spirits of their ancestors could visit them. About 80%
Alc/Vol, I
> > think
> > > they were.
> > >
> > > Paracrine: A paratrooper sobbing because he's landed on his nuts
and
> > messed
> > > up his hormoans.
> > >
> > > Paradise: Heaven for Craps players.
> >
> > Paralegals: Supernatural lawyers.
> >
> > Bloomerangs: Flowers that keep coming back.
> >
> Boomerangs: Floating barriers across harbours with bells on them.
>
> Boomeringues: Exploding sweet toppings etc. made of beaten egg whites
and
> sugar.
>
> Poomerang: Rebounding turd.
Turdy: Demon shit.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41DCF381...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4109C271...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Embarrassing: Red faced singer.
> > > >
> > > > Embossing: Song of a potter.
> > > >
> > > > Embracing: Hugging song.
> > > >
> > > > Expressing: Song of a failed newspaper.
> > > >
> > > > Flossing: Dentist song.
> > > >
> > > > Grossings: 144 songs.
> > > >
> > > > Harassing: Song that bugs people.
> > > >
> > > > Harnessing: Song of draft animals.
> > > >
> > > > Hissing: Snake song.
> > > >
> > > > History: Conservative British snake
> > >
> > > . . . or goose.
> > >
> > > His/Herstory: Politically correct record of past events.
> >
> > Exploratory: British Conservative in space.
> >
>
> Mandatory: John Profumo visiting Miss Rice-Davis.
Man D.: Male demon.
nemo
Dungy: Racehorse doo-doos.
Dinghy: Noisy floating racehorse.
nemo
Nor forgetting the habitual rape victim, Amanda Natt-Tommy.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:448E6107...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On Sun, 9 May 2004 23:40:13 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> > > <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Have you ever tried to say no to the Department of Defense?
> > > >
> > > >I find it's much easier to deal with the Department of Degate
> > instead.
> > >
> > > In your case, yes. I've heard that you have often been given Degate.
> >
> > How about the Department of Veterans Affairs?
> >
> > Curvet: Former Dog soldier.
> >
> > Velvet: Cloth soldier.
> >
> > Vetting: Army bell.
>
> Veto-ran: The power to prohibit a proposed period of travelling on foot at
> high speed.
V-Toe: Vampire foot digit.
Tim Bruening
Nor forgetting the habitual rape victim, Amanda Natt-Tommy.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FD033DF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Forecast: 4 actors.
> >
> > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> >
> > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> >
> Telecast: Greek actors a long way away.
Comcast: Computerized actors.
Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
Hylander: A landing craft high on drugs.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42087434...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Netherlands: Nation of asses and dykes.
>
> And sometimes the tulips clogs up the drainage ditches too.
>
> Edam: Online cheesy water barrier.
Cheesy: Ocean of Whey.
Tim Bruening
Alarmist: Fog that yells "The sky is falling!".
Bemist: Apine fog.
Chemist: Poison fog.
Ergonomist: Fog that prevents injuries to workers.
Extremist: Radical fog.
Islamist: Muslim fog.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4317E6E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4271AF83...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Thailand: A country that breaks even.
> > >
> > > Ukraine: I Kraine, Ukraine, He Kraines, etc.
> >
> > Narr. It's lifting gear for raising very heavy female sheep and
featured
in
> > the first or second pun I ever posted on here:
> >
> > "Me Tarzan. Ukraine!"
>
> It can also raise a certain kind of tree.
But only when powered by a hornbeam-engine. Nothing else woodwork!
Ukraine: Small guitars falling from the sky.
Fall Ling: Autumn in China.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4317E6E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4271AF83...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > > Thailand: A country that breaks even.
> > >
> > > Ukraine: I Kraine, Ukraine, He Kraines, etc.
> >
> > Narr. It's lifting gear for raising very heavy female sheep and
featured
in
> > the first or second pun I ever posted on here:
> >
> > "Me Tarzan. Ukraine!"
>
> It can also raise a certain kind of tree.
But only when powered by a hornbeam-engine. Nothing else woodwork!
Ukraine: Small guitars falling from the sky.
Guitar: Musical road component.
Tim Bruening
mike wheeEler wrote:
In article <3FD24058...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world
oddly when:
>
>
>
>nemo wrote:
>
>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> news:3FD033DF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> > Forecast: 4 actors.
>> >
>> > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
>> >
>> > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
>> >
>> Telecast: Greek actors a long way away.
>
>Comcast: Computerized actors.
>
>Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
>
Stonehenge: Door fastener made of rock
Rocker: Stone dog.
Rocking: Stone monarch.
Subplot: Grave of a merman or mermaid.
Tim Bruening
Mowing: Flying grass cutter.
Towing: Little wing at the end of your foot.
Tim Bruening
Surcoat: Knight of cold weather clothing.
Surcease: Knight of making things stop.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4233DC81...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Conrad: Against radioactive substances in our homes.
> >
> > Conrad: What happens when an escaped prisoner hides in a nuclear power
> > plant.
>
> Conrad Twitty: What happens when a very silly escaped prisoner hides in a
> nuclear power plant.
He eats Fission Chips?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4233DD01...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Glimmer: Dimly lit ocean.
> >
> > Glummer: Depressed ocean.
> >
> > Glooming: Depressed Chinese vase.
> >
> > Glooming: Chinese vase filled with glue.
>
> Harold Dite: Inventor of the online glue - e-Poxy Resin.
Gluton: Heavy sticking fluid.
Luton: Heavy toilet.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:436A9F74...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> headdr wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4055739E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:10:32 -0700, "MosZibby"
<Naked@YourHouse>
> > > > wrote:
> > > >
> > > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote: A humourous joke.
> > > > >
> > > > >Mos asks: Can we really do that here?
> > > >
> > > > It's against the bylaws and counts as ten demerits but who the
> heck is
> > > > gonna enforce it?
> > >
> > > Chattering: Ring that talks as much as the donkey on Shrek.
> > >
> > >
> > Buffering: A naked ring.
> >
> > Tittering: ouch
> >
> > Dickering: double ouch
>
> Buffering: A ring that slays vampires.
>
Sharp steel Frisbee on a cricket pitch: A ring that slays umpires.
I would call that a Batter Ring!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Sritk <sr...@aol.com> wrote in message
> news:20040228003013...@mb-m27.aol.com...
> > Hate crime-how I feel about lawbreaking.
> > Hate speech-why I don't talk much.
> > Hate groups-why I don't belong to any clubs.
>
> Hateable: Why I eat on the floor.
> Hatefulness: Why I don't eat much.
Hating: Musical dried straw.
Tim Bruening
Why was the neutron released from the Iraqi jail?
Because there was no charge against him.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Erik D. Freeman <efr...@alumni.umbc.edu> wrote in message
> news:busaqc$sqv$1...@news.umbc.edu...
>
> NEWSFLASH:
>
> Michael Jackson tried killing himself Wednesday morning by
> jumping off his boat.
>
> The police found him last night bobbing up and down on a small buoy.
Molest: To bother a small burrowing mammal.
Borrowing: Bird in debt.
Burrowing: Tunneling bird.
Tim Bruening
"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message news:<2Wrvb.69633$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > news:nkcsrvon9aac3dd6k...@4ax.com...
> > > On Thu, 20 Nov 2003 19:31:55 GMT, "Carlos Trevino" <jua...@swbell.net>
> > > found these unused words floating about:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >"Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> > > >news:20031118203534.0e01a5b0.Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower...
> > > >> On Tue, 18 Nov 2003 17:20:59 -0800
> > > >> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> > > >>
> > > >> > On Tue, 18 Nov 2003 13:33:49 -0800, Larry Krzewinski
> > > >> > <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> found these unused words floating
> > > >> > about:
> > > >> >
> > > >> > >On Tue, 18 Nov 2003 17:55:12 GMT, Bill Baker
> > > >> > ><wba...@postini.spamcon.org> wrote:
> > > >> > >
> > > >> > >>>>>>>> Who wants dirty birds fluttering around in the house?
> > They'll give you>>>>>>> canarial diseases.
> > > >> > >>>>>>>
> > > >> > >>>>>>> Canarial diseases, lol, like chirpees?
> > > >> > >>>>>>
> > > >> > >>>>>>Yes! Do you know it's untweetable!
> > > >> > >>>>>
> > > >> > >>>>> What's it do, make you flighty?
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Not nest-essarily. You may notice it robin your strength. But
> > there are>>>moa symptoms.
> > > >> > >>>
> > > >> > >>> It's nothing to crow about. There is always a flicker of hope
> > > >> > >that>> you won't catch it. I've heard that if you avoid being
> > goosed
> > > >> > >that>> you're reasonably safe. Just remember to duck if someone
> > > >> > >walks up>> behind you.
> > > >> > >>
> > > >> > >>I'll be sure to make that my cardinal rule.
> > > >> > >
> > > >> > >Great. I'll let you know if I heron-y more about this from my
> > > >> > >hawkish friend in the defense department.
> > > >> > >
> > > >> > You'll egret it ... !
> > > >>
> > > >> ...from heron out.
> > > >>
> > > >> Cybe R. Wizard
> > > >> --
> > > >Other symptoms are Fowl breath, your eyes Finch, your Booby swells and
> > you
> > > >might hear a Buzzard sound causing you to lose your Eagle-librium which
> > will
> > > >make you Gull-ible trying to fly your Kite. Treatment is very expensive so you might have to tell your doctor to do with is bill what the stork can do with his.....stick it up his butt!
> > > >Carlos
> > > >
> > > That's hard to swallow.
> > >
> > Someone should take a file and remove the sharp edges from burred lovers before they cut each other!
>
> I bet a cockfight ensues, just can't say w hen.
Cock Pit: Hole of roosters at the front of a plane.
Tim Bruening
dobey the elf wrote:
> nemo wrote:
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4157C2F0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Hauke Reddmann wrote:
> > >
> > > > Juliet said to Romeo to meet him on the balcany.
> > > > No wonder both are dead now.
> > >
> > > Hamlet: To rent a pig house.
> >
> > I've still got the Shakespeare-choosing-a-pencil pun and I'm not
> afraid to
> > use it!
> >
> > Swine Lake: Starred Miss Piggy instead of Margot Fontaine.
> >
> > (True. In one of their shows she danced the Father of Two [Pas de
> deux] with
> > Nureyev!)
>
> Pork it over!
Porking: Low income monarch.
Porking: Leading lobbyist.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On 02 May 2004 22:05:41 GMT, johnnai...@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner) found
> these unused words floating about:
>
> >Question (on the telephone): Are you in Thailand?
> >Answer: Yes, Siam.
> Q: Bank OK?
Bangkok: Violent sex.
Tim Bruening
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4157C243...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Concave: Against spelunking.
> >
> > Content: Against camping.
> >
> > Contrail: Against hiking.
> >
> > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
>
> Contradiction: Against Lesbianism.
Contradiction: How Nicaraguan rebels talk.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4157C27C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > For many years the various sections of the Tate family were scattered
> far
> > > and wide. Finally, with the advent of cheap travel, they decided to get
> > > together enmasse. What no one forsaw was that they were all extremely
> > > amorous in nature.
> > >
> > > Soon they had all paired off and the hall resounded with shouts, calls
> and
> > > grunts. Forevermore it became known as the united Tate's congress.
> >
> > Leading to the Baby Boom.
> >
> > Baby Boom: Very loud infants.
>
> Or the sound of extremely bad ballistic vomiting!
>
> Two holes in the house: One from the vomit and another from the baby exiting
> arse-first in the opposite direction due to the recoil!
Recoil: A snake after a strike.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
> news:fujsrvoa1p9vaqgev...@4ax.com...
> > On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 17:51:51 GMT, "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet>
> > wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >nemo <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > >news:ea8vb.51685$qu.4...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >>
> > >> fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > >> news:3361f1b9.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > >> > "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > >> news:<3fbc2286$0$13673$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> > >> > > Kathy wrote:
> > >> > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > >> > > > news:MCPub.27404$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > >> > > >>
> > >> > > >> fredm...@the.PC ?Z <FRE...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > >> > > >> news:1660-3FB...@storefull-2375.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> > >> > > >>> ne...@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
> > >> > > >>>
> > >> > > >>> Old MacDonald was dyslexic - E O I O E
> > >> > > >>> (Billy Colony)
> > >> > > >>>
> > >> > > >>> Silly burger!
> > >> > > >>>
> > >> > > >>> Nemo
> > >> > > >>>
> > >> > > >>> Silly AND stale old burger. You want flies with that ?
> > >> > > >>>
> > >> > > >> Don't tell me they've started doing Eccles Cake Burgers!
> > >> > > >>
> > >> > > > Nah, they merely signed the Maggot à laCarta.
> > >> > >
> > >> > > I larva pun like that!
> > >> >
> > >> > You'll outgrow it once you find your wings.
> > >>
> > >> Not if he drinks his ale late!
> > >>
> > >That obviously went over your heads. It would. It's the technical term
> for
> > >wing-like and is used to describe winged insects such as queen and drone
> > >ants!
> > >
> > Hey Mr. High and Mighty. I have a Ph.D. in that bug stuff, so blow it
> > out your ass.
> >
> You sure it ain't a Nh.D., nick?!
>
> And I haven't had mighty yet. It's still in the pot.
Potting: Musical ceramic container.
Potting: Musical majuana.
Plotting: Musical play.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4041E291...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Bahrain: Sheep precipitation.
> >
> > Cuba: Line of sheep.
> >
> > Tuba: Two sheep.
> >
> > Yuba: You are a sheep.
>
> Euphonium: Imitation of a Eugenuinium.
Reba: Sheep again.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44336234...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Nick Bell wrote:
> >
> > > Renee writeth this ...
> > >
> > > I love cats. I prefer them to people.
> > > They don't clog the Interstate
> > > and they seldom vote Republican
> > > _________________________________
> > >
> > > I am definitely against giving cats the vote or letting them have
> > driver's licenses.
> > > Especially undocumented ones. And these days an election can be won by
> > a whisker.
> >
> > Diebold: Very brave election workers.
> >
>
> Bloke unconscience on the ground.
>
> A cop asks what happened. A guy replies, "He's bold."
>
> "Waddayamean?" says the cop.
>
> "Somebody hit 'im on the head with a big heavy basin!" replied the man.
Basin: A water inlet that transgresses against God.
Tim Bruening
Bison: My son is gay!
Chinese: Asian knees.
Embrace: M shaped brace that hugs you.
Fumigate: A gate that deodorizes.
Innocent: A non guilty penny.
Ogre Knight: An Ogre who becomes a knight Ogre night, and thus becomes
an Ogre Knight/Night success.
Ogre Lord: Ogre that reigns.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4434CB33...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > X-Mas: What happens at an alien church.
> >
> > ET: What aliens drink.
> >
> > Congest: Against jokes.
> >
> > Conquest: Against adventures.
> >
> > Baku: A sheep revolution.
> >
> Barnabus: A mass-transit vehicle for sheep where they can have a drink as
> well, and is garaged in a farm building.
Barabbas: Revolutionary sheep in Jerusalem around 30 AD who was released
in
place of Jesus.
Tim Bruening
> > it's not a conspiracy, just a common observation.
>
> ...well here's another clue for you all...i was the
> second gunman on the grassy knoll...
> used a remington sr8...mail order....22 bucks...
> complete with scope...
Remington: 2,000 pound shaving vase.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42535DD0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:424CDE92...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Banality: Causally evil tea.
> > > >
> > > > Banshee: To prohibit screaming women.
> > > >
> > > > Bisect: Gay religion.
> > > >
> > > > Bloomington: 2,000 blue Chinese vase.
> > > >
> > > > Bounty: Tea given as a reward for capturing criminals.
> > >
> > > What they run sweet steaming gins on: Tender coconut!
> >
> > Trendy: A fashionable demon.
> >
> There seems to be a pandem Mick of these demons.
>
> Pandem Mick: A two-seater bicycle for dyslexic Irishmen.
>
> (BTW. Tender Coconut was an advertising slow goon for the
> chocolate-coated
> coconaut bar, Bounty.)
Pandem: Cooking utensils for John Kerry, Al Gore, Ted Kennedy, etc.
Kennedy: Liberal demon from Massachusetts.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:425389F7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:3F9A26E2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >
> > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > In article <3F8B9EAF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > > tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at
> the
> > world
> > oddly when:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Conversion: A variant of criminal.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Conversion.. Air freshener ions emitted by old Converse
> tennis
> > shoes..
> > > >
> > > > Micro: Not your crow.
> > >
> > > Decibel: One tenth of a bell.
> > >
> > Well it is, actually, except it's spelled Bel. It's also Messy Pot
>
> > Amian for
> > G*d.
> >
> > What about your crow Farad?
> >
> > Faraday: A day for weird electrical effects.
>
> He can't come. He's been incapacitated.
Is he in a Vegetative State?
Veg-G: A Goblin that eats only plants.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:425397E2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Proper: Price per unit of equipment needed for plays.
> >
> > Alien Plot: Extraterrestrial farm land.
>
> Extraterrestrial farm land where the alien choir rehearses: Grey Sing
> Land.
Bundy: Pastry demon.
Bunyan: Pastry lumberjack.
Gacy: Homosexual ocean.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4252411F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:424F577D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>
> > > > > news:424D037A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > 1/4 puns? OK.
> > > > >
> > > > > Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound
> give
> > > no
> > > quarter?
> > > > >
> > > > > Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
> > > > >
> > > > > Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
> > > > >
> > > > > Headquarters: What you sometimes see when you look a
> contortionist
> > > in
> > > the
> > > > > face.
> > > > >
> > > > > Quartermaster: Hotel manager.
> > > >
> > > > Quarter Horse: 1/4th of an equine.
> > > >
> > > If you're allergic to those, you can get a hacking cough!
> > >
> > > Small gangster horse: Shetland Alcaponey!
> >
> > Melloncollie: A fruit dog.
> >
>
> Melancholy: Girl who's sad because she has a head like a melon and a
> face
> like a collie.
>
> Melanie: Girl with a spherical form of Elephantiasis half-way up her
> leg.
Melbourne: When was Mel born?
Melody: musical Mel.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4250F315...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Daring: Adventurous ring.
> >
> > Earring: A ring sensitive to sound. See also Hearing.
> >
> > Engineering: A ring that's a good mechanic.
> >
> > Faring: A ring that believes in listening to all points of view
> before
> > making a judgment.
> >
> > Hearing: A ring that is sensitive to sound. See also Earring.
> >
> Faring: Musical wind deflector on a motorbike owned by a Big Dipper
> operator.
Deflector: Mountain top that diverts moving objects.
D. Flect: Demon that diverts moving objects.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4250F434...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Size of paper used by idiot sewage workers: Foolscrap.
> > > Size of paper used by beer drinkers with sore feet: Quart Toe.
> > > Size of paper used by musicians: Octavo.
> > > Size of paper used by your average obese American: Double
> Elephant!
> >
> > Can I see this on Paper View?
> >
> That's a quire sort of request.
Acquire: One singing group in church.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4250FA9B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Occult: Religious sect that worships the letter "O".
> >
> > Occur: Dog in that cult.
> >
> > Occupy: Pie eaten by troops in Iraq.
> >
> > Odic: Penis # O.
> >
> > Okay: Island # O, or O shaped island.
> >
> > Optic: Tic that corrects eyesight.
> >
> > Oppose: To stand in an "O" shape.
> >
>
> Akimb "O" ??
Obese: Fat O.
nemo
> > >
> > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Sun, 9 May 2004 23:40:13 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> > > > <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > >> Have you ever tried to say no to the Department of Defense?
> > > > >
> > > > >I find it's much easier to deal with the Department of Degate
> > > instead.
> > > >
> > > > In your case, yes. I've heard that you have often been given
Degate.
> > >
> > > How about the Department of Veterans Affairs?
> > >
> > > Curvet: Former Dog soldier.
> > >
> > > Velvet: Cloth soldier.
> > >
> > > Vetting: Army bell.
> >
> > Veto-ran: The power to prohibit a proposed period of travelling on foot
at
> > high speed.
>
> V-Toe: Vampire foot digit.
>
He could keep them clean using the new All-Toe-Matic Foot Cleansing Machine!
nemo
> > > >
> > > > Thailand: A country that breaks even.
> > > >
> > > > Ukraine: I Kraine, Ukraine, He Kraines, etc.
> > >
> > > Narr. It's lifting gear for raising very heavy female sheep and
> featured
> in
> > > the first or second pun I ever posted on here:
> > >
> > > "Me Tarzan. Ukraine!"
> >
> > It can also raise a certain kind of tree.
>
> But only when powered by a hornbeam-engine. Nothing else woodwork!
>
> Ukraine: Small guitars falling from the sky.
>
> Guitar: Musical road component.
Vihuela: Twelve-stringed instument that catches cetatceans.
nemo
> > > Forecast: 4 actors.
> > >
> > > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> > >
> > > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> > >
> > Telecast: Greek actors a long way away.
>
> Comcast: Computerized actors.
>
> Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
>
> Hylander: A landing craft high on drugs.
Preachmaster: Padré in charge of the landing zone.
nemo
>
> Alarmist: Fog that yells "The sky is falling!".
>
> Bemist: Apine fog.
>
> Chemist: Poison fog.
>
> Ergonomist: Fog that prevents injuries to workers.
>
> Extremist: Radical fog.
>
> Islamist: Muslim fog.
Aromatherapist: Doctor who uses perfumes in Italy's capital who's drunk.
Typist: Drunken neckwear.
Escapist: Circus performer who can only do his act when he's drunk.
Linotypist: Drunken neckwear made of floor covering.
Orthoepist: Failed pronunciation expert because he was always so drunk he
couldn't pronounce shit!
Terrapist: Member of Alky Aida who was so drunk he put a bomb together
backwards and when he set it off it went "Gnab!"
nemo
> > > >
> > > > Thailand: A country that breaks even.
> > > >
> > > > Ukraine: I Kraine, Ukraine, He Kraines, etc.
> > >
> > > Narr. It's lifting gear for raising very heavy female sheep and
> featured
> in
> > > the first or second pun I ever posted on here:
> > >
> > > "Me Tarzan. Ukraine!"
> >
> > It can also raise a certain kind of tree.
>
> But only when powered by a hornbeam-engine. Nothing else woodwork!
>
> Ukraine: Small guitars falling from the sky.
>
Sore head: What you get when in autumn China falls from the sky!
nemo
> > > Netherlands: Nation of asses and dykes.
> >
> > And sometimes the tulips clogs up the drainage ditches too.
> >
> > Edam: Online cheesy water barrier.
>
> Cheesy: Ocean of Whey.
What happened to the Kurds?
nemo
> > >
> > > Conrad: Against radioactive substances in our homes.
> > >
> > > Conrad: What happens when an escaped prisoner hides in a nuclear power
> > > plant.
> >
> > Conrad Twitty: What happens when a very silly escaped prisoner hides in
a
> > nuclear power plant.
>
> He eats Fission Chips?
Nope. They ain't been made to work yet!
nemo
>
>
> mike wheeEler wrote:
>
> In article <3FD24058...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> >> > Forecast: 4 actors.
> >> >
> >> > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> >> >
> >> > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> >> >
> >> Telecast: Greek actors a long way away.
> >
> >Comcast: Computerized actors.
> >
> >Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
> >
>
> Rocker: Stone dog.
>
> Rocking: Stone monarch.
>
> Subplot: Grave of a merman or mermaid.
Interuption: A disturbance at a funeral.
nemo
> > >
> > > Glimmer: Dimly lit ocean.
> > >
> > > Glummer: Depressed ocean.
> > >
> > > Glooming: Depressed Chinese vase.
> > >
> > > Glooming: Chinese vase filled with glue.
> >
> > Harold Dite: Inventor of the online glue - e-Poxy Resin.
>
> Gluton: Heavy sticking fluid.
>
> Luton: Heavy toilet.
Glue-teus Maximus: Your arse stuck to a chair with the strongest adhesive
imaginable.
nemo
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On Sun, 14 Mar 2004 18:10:32 -0700, "MosZibby"
> <Naked@YourHouse>
> > > > > wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote: A humourous joke.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >Mos asks: Can we really do that here?
> > > > >
> > > > > It's against the bylaws and counts as ten demerits but who the
> > heck is
> > > > > gonna enforce it?
> > > >
> > > > Chattering: Ring that talks as much as the donkey on Shrek.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > Buffering: A naked ring.
> > >
> > > Tittering: ouch
> > >
> > > Dickering: double ouch
> >
> > Buffering: A ring that slays vampires.
> >
> Sharp steel Frisbee on a cricket pitch: A ring that slays umpires.
>
> I would call that a Batter Ring!
Not if it's been thrown by Buffy the Umpire Slayer!
Batty the Vampire Slayer would be an African or Afro-Caribbean gay man going
around slaying them!
nemo
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Sritk <sr...@aol.com> wrote in message
> > news:20040228003013...@mb-m27.aol.com...
> > > Hate crime-how I feel about lawbreaking.
> > > Hate speech-why I don't talk much.
> > > Hate groups-why I don't belong to any clubs.
> >
> > Hateable: Why I eat on the floor.
> > Hatefulness: Why I don't eat much.
>
> Hating: Musical dried straw.
Stuffed down a friendly bottom! A Palliasse!
nemo
>
>
> "fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
>
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > > news:nkcsrvon9aac3dd6k...@4ax.com...
> > > > On Thu, 20 Nov 2003 19:31:55 GMT, "Carlos Trevino"
<jua...@swbell.net>
> > > > found these unused words floating about:
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >"Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> > > > >news:20031118203534.0e01a5b0.Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower...
> > > > >> On Tue, 18 Nov 2003 17:20:59 -0800
> > > > >> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> > > > >>
> > > > >> > On Tue, 18 Nov 2003 13:33:49 -0800, Larry Krzewinski
> > > > >> > <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> found these unused words
floating
> > > > >> > about:
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > >On Tue, 18 Nov 2003 17:55:12 GMT, Bill Baker
> > > > >> > ><wba...@postini.spamcon.org> wrote:
> > > > >> > >
> > > > >> > >>>>>>>> Who wants dirty birds fluttering around in the house?
> > > They'll give you>>>>>>> canarial diseases.
> > > > >> > >>>>>>>
> > > > >> > >>>>>>> Canarial diseases, lol, like chirpees?
> > > > >> > >>>>>>
> > > > >> > >>>>>>Yes! Do you know it's untweetable!
> > > > >> > >>>>>
> > > > >> > >>>>> What's it do, make you flighty?
> > > > >> > >>>>
> > > > >> > >>>>Not nest-essarily. You may notice it robin your strength.
But
> > > there are>>>moa symptoms.
> > > > >> > >>>
> > > > >> > >>> It's nothing to crow about. There is always a flicker of
hope
> > > > >> > >that>> you won't catch it. I've heard that if you avoid being
> > > goosed
> > > > >> > >that>> you're reasonably safe. Just remember to duck if
someone
> > > > >> > >walks up>> behind you.
> > > > >> > >>
> > > > >> > >>I'll be sure to make that my cardinal rule.
> > > > >> > >
> > > > >> > >Great. I'll let you know if I heron-y more about this from my
> > > > >> > >hawkish friend in the defense department.
> > > > >> > >
> > > > >> > You'll egret it ... !
> > > > >>
> > > > >> ...from heron out.
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Cybe R. Wizard
> > > > >> --
> > > > >Other symptoms are Fowl breath, your eyes Finch, your Booby swells
and
> > > you
> > > > >might hear a Buzzard sound causing you to lose your Eagle-librium
which
> > > will
> > > > >make you Gull-ible trying to fly your Kite. Treatment is very
expensive so you might have to tell your doctor to do with is bill what the
stork can do with his.....stick it up his butt!
> > > > >Carlos
> > > > >
> > > > That's hard to swallow.
> > > >
> > > Someone should take a file and remove the sharp edges from burred
lovers before they cut each other!
> >
> > I bet a cockfight ensues, just can't say w hen.
>
> Cock Pit: Hole of roosters at the front of a plane.
Roosters: People who feel remorse.
Remorse: To send a telegraph message again.
nemo
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Erik D. Freeman <efr...@alumni.umbc.edu> wrote in message
> > news:busaqc$sqv$1...@news.umbc.edu...
> >
> > NEWSFLASH:
> >
> > Michael Jackson tried killing himself Wednesday morning by
> > jumping off his boat.
> >
> > The police found him last night bobbing up and down on a small buoy.
>
> Molest: To bother a small burrowing mammal.
>
> Borrowing: Bird in debt.
>
> Burrowing: Tunneling bird.
Like in a Tunneling Electron My Crow Scope?
nemo
>
>
> dobey the elf wrote:> > > news:4157C2F0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Hauke Reddmann wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Juliet said to Romeo to meet him on the balcany.
> > > > > No wonder both are dead now.
> > > >
> > > > Hamlet: To rent a pig house.
> > >
> > > I've still got the Shakespeare-choosing-a-pencil pun and I'm not
> > afraid to
> > > use it!
> > >
> > > Swine Lake: Starred Miss Piggy instead of Margot Fontaine.
> > >
> > > (True. In one of their shows she danced the Father of Two [Pas de
> > deux] with
> > > Nureyev!)
> >
> > Pork it over!
>
> Porking: Low income monarch.
>
> Porking: Leading lobbyist.
Lobbyist: A mortar fired by an apine.
nemo
>
> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
> > On 02 May 2004 22:05:41 GMT, johnnai...@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner)
found
> > these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >Answer: Yes, Siam.
> > Q: Bank OK?
>
> Bangkok: Violent sex.
Blew his bomblocks off?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44926EAC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FD033DF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Forecast: 4 actors.
> > > >
> > > > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> > > >
> > > > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> > > >
> > > Telecast: Greek actors a long way away.
> >
> > Comcast: Computerized actors.
> >
> > Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
> >
> > Hylander: A landing craft high on drugs.
>
> Preachmaster: Padré in charge of the landing zone.
Peachmaster: In charge or orchards.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44926EBE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42087434...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Netherlands: Nation of asses and dykes.
> > >
> > > And sometimes the tulips clogs up the drainage ditches too.
> > >
> > > Edam: Online cheesy water barrier.
> >
> > Cheesy: Ocean of Whey.
>
> What happened to the Kurds?
Several thousand were killed by Saddam Hussein in 1988.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44927945...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > dobey the elf wrote:
> >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4157C2F0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Hauke Reddmann wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Juliet said to Romeo to meet him on the balcany.
> > > > > > No wonder both are dead now.
> > > > >
> > > > > Hamlet: To rent a pig house.
> > > >
> > > > I've still got the Shakespeare-choosing-a-pencil pun and I'm not
> > > afraid to
> > > > use it!
> > > >
> > > > Swine Lake: Starred Miss Piggy instead of Margot Fontaine.
> > > >
> > > > (True. In one of their shows she danced the Father of Two [Pas de
> > > deux] with
> > > > Nureyev!)
> > >
> > > Pork it over!
> >
> > Porking: Low income monarch.
> >
> > Porking: Leading lobbyist.
>
> Lobbyist: A mortar fired by an apine.
For what cause?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44927945...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > dobey the elf wrote:
> >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:4157C2F0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Hauke Reddmann wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Juliet said to Romeo to meet him on the balcany.
> > > > > > No wonder both are dead now.
> > > > >
> > > > > Hamlet: To rent a pig house.
> > > >
> > > > I've still got the Shakespeare-choosing-a-pencil pun and I'm not
> > > afraid to
> > > > use it!
> > > >
> > > > Swine Lake: Starred Miss Piggy instead of Margot Fontaine.
> > > >
> > > > (True. In one of their shows she danced the Father of Two [Pas de
> > > deux] with
> > > > Nureyev!)
> > >
> > > Pork it over!
> >
> > Porking: Low income monarch.
> >
> > Porking: Leading lobbyist.
>
> Lobbyist: A mortar fired by an apine.
Why was the mortar downsized?
nemo
Greengage: What he measures the height of his grass with.
nemo
nemo
beeing fired from!
nemo
nemo
> > >
> > >
> > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > >
> > > > For many years the various sections of the Tate family were
scattered
> > far
> > > > and wide. Finally, with the advent of cheap travel, they decided to
get
> > > > together enmasse. What no one forsaw was that they were all
extremely
> > > > amorous in nature.
> > > >
> > > > Soon they had all paired off and the hall resounded with shouts,
calls
> > and
> > > > grunts. Forevermore it became known as the united Tate's congress.
> > >
> > > Leading to the Baby Boom.
> > >
> > > Baby Boom: Very loud infants.
> >
> > Or the sound of extremely bad ballistic vomiting!
> >
> > Two holes in the house: One from the vomit and another from the baby
exiting
> > arse-first in the opposite direction due to the recoil!
>
> Recoil: A snake after a strike.
Reek Oil: Fish fat!
nemo
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
> > news:fujsrvoa1p9vaqgev...@4ax.com...
> > > On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 17:51:51 GMT, "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet>
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >nemo <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > >>
> > > >> fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > > >> news:3361f1b9.03111...@posting.google.com...
> > > >> > "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > > >> news:<3fbc2286$0$13673$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> > > >> > > Kathy wrote:
> > > >> > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > >> > > >>
> > > >> > > >> fredm...@the.PC ?Z <FRE...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > > >> > > >>
news:1660-3FB...@storefull-2375.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> > > >> > > >>> ne...@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Old MacDonald was dyslexic - E O I O E
> > > >> > > >>> (Billy Colony)
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Silly burger!
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Nemo
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >>> Silly AND stale old burger. You want flies with that ?
> > > >> > > >>>
> > > >> > > >> Don't tell me they've started doing Eccles Cake Burgers!
> > > >> > > >>
> > > >> > > > Nah, they merely signed the Maggot à laCarta.
> > > >> > >
> > > >> > > I larva pun like that!
> > > >> >
> > > >> > You'll outgrow it once you find your wings.
> > > >>
> > > >> Not if he drinks his ale late!
> > > >>
> > > >That obviously went over your heads. It would. It's the technical
term
> > for
> > > >wing-like and is used to describe winged insects such as queen and
drone
> > > >ants!
> > > >
> > > Hey Mr. High and Mighty. I have a Ph.D. in that bug stuff, so blow it
> > > out your ass.
> > >
> > You sure it ain't a Nh.D., nick?!
> >
> > And I haven't had mighty yet. It's still in the pot.
>
> Potting: Musical ceramic container.
>
> Potting: Musical majuana.
>
> Plotting: Musical play.
It's lucky plots aren't spikey, otherwise it'd be very painful hatching one!
nemo
> > > Bahrain: Sheep precipitation.
> > >
> > > Cuba: Line of sheep.
> > >
> > > Tuba: Two sheep.
> > >
> > > Yuba: You are a sheep.
> >
> > Euphonium: Imitation of a Eugenuinium.
>
> Reba: Sheep again.
Rebar: To reinforce concrete again.
Rebarlution: Big uprising by bricklayers against a government for putting up
too many concrete buildings.
nemo
> > >
> > > Nick Bell wrote:
> > >
> > > > Renee writeth this ...
> > > >
> > > > I love cats. I prefer them to people.
> > > > They don't clog the Interstate
> > > > and they seldom vote Republican
> > > > _________________________________
> > > >
> > > > I am definitely against giving cats the vote or letting them have
> > > driver's licenses.
> > > > Especially undocumented ones. And these days an election can be won
by
> > > a whisker.
> > >
> > > Diebold: Very brave election workers.
> > >
> >
> > Bloke unconscience on the ground.
> >
> > A cop asks what happened. A guy replies, "He's bold."
> >
> > "Waddayamean?" says the cop.
> >
> > "Somebody hit 'im on the head with a big heavy basin!" replied the man.
>
> Basin: A water inlet that transgresses against God.
BASIC: A programming language invented by a rather green landlubber on a
small boat on a rough sea in a water inlet.
nemo
>
> Bison: My son is gay!
>
> Chinese: Asian knees.
>
> Embrace: M shaped brace that hugs you.
>
> Fumigate: A gate that deodorizes.
>
> Innocent: A non guilty penny.
>
> Ogre Knight: An Ogre who becomes a knight Ogre night, and thus becomes
> an Ogre Knight/Night success.
>
> Ogre Lord: Ogre that reigns.
Ogre Adey: Irish very large, feirce lady war correspondent!
http://www.reliefweb.int/ocha_ol/pub/dhanews/issue22/frline.html
nemo
> > >
> > > X-Mas: What happens at an alien church.
> > >
> > > ET: What aliens drink.
> > >
> > > Congest: Against jokes.
> > >
> > > Conquest: Against adventures.
> > >
> > > Baku: A sheep revolution.
> > >
> > Barnabus: A mass-transit vehicle for sheep where they can have a drink
as
> > well, and is garaged in a farm building.
>
> Barabbas: Revolutionary sheep in Jerusalem around 30 AD who was released
> in
> place of Jesus.
No! Welease Woger!
nemo
> CheechWizard wrote:
>
> > > it's not a conspiracy, just a common observation.
> >
> > ...well here's another clue for you all...i was the
> > second gunman on the grassy knoll...
> > used a remington sr8...mail order....22 bucks...
> > complete with scope...
>
> Remington: 2,000 pound shaving vase.
Used by a right big 'ead!
nemo
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > Banality: Causally evil tea.
> > > > >
> > > > > Banshee: To prohibit screaming women.
> > > > >
> > > > > Bisect: Gay religion.
> > > > >
> > > > > Bloomington: 2,000 blue Chinese vase.
> > > > >
> > > > > Bounty: Tea given as a reward for capturing criminals.
> > > >
> > > > What they run sweet steaming gins on: Tender coconut!
> > >
> > > Trendy: A fashionable demon.
> > >
> > There seems to be a pandem Mick of these demons.
> >
> > Pandem Mick: A two-seater bicycle for dyslexic Irishmen.
> >
> > (BTW. Tender Coconut was an advertising slow goon for the
> > chocolate-coated
> > coconaut bar, Bounty.)
>
> Pandem: Cooking utensils for John Kerry, Al Gore, Ted Kennedy, etc.
>
> Kennedy: Liberal demon from Massachusetts.
Republichouse: Where right-wing polly Titians get drunk!
nemo
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at
> > the
> > > world
> > > oddly when:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Conversion.. Air freshener ions emitted by old Converse
> > tennis
> > > shoes..
> > > > >
> > > > > Micro: Not your crow.
> > > >
> > > > Decibel: One tenth of a bell.
> > > >
> > > Well it is, actually, except it's spelled Bel. It's also Messy Pot
> >
> > > Amian for
> > > G*d.
> > >
> > > What about your crow Farad?
> > >
> > > Faraday: A day for weird electrical effects.
> >
> > He can't come. He's been incapacitated.
>
> Is he in a Vegetative State?
>
> Veg-G: A Goblin that eats only plants.
V-Gan: Welsh song about one.
nemo
> > > Proper: Price per unit of equipment needed for plays.
> > >
> > > Alien Plot: Extraterrestrial farm land.
> >
> > Extraterrestrial farm land where the alien choir rehearses: Grey Sing
> > Land.
>
> Bundy: Pastry demon.
>
> Bunyan: Pastry lumberjack.
>
> Gacy: Homosexual ocean.
. . full of Gaymer's cider?
nemo
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > 1/4 puns? OK.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Does a confectioner who only sells sweets by the half-pound
> > give
> > > > no
> > > > quarter?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Quarterstaff: Workers after a very nasty accident.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hindquarters: Rooms for a female red deer.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Headquarters: What you sometimes see when you look a
> > contortionist
> > > > in
> > > > the
> > > > > > face.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Quartermaster: Hotel manager.
> > > > >
> > > > > Quarter Horse: 1/4th of an equine.
> > > > >
> > > > If you're allergic to those, you can get a hacking cough!
> > > >
> > > > Small gangster horse: Shetland Alcaponey!
> > >
> > > Melloncollie: A fruit dog.
> > >
> >
> > Melancholy: Girl who's sad because she has a head like a melon and a
> > face
> > like a collie.
> >
> > Melanie: Girl with a spherical form of Elephantiasis half-way up her
> > leg.
>
> Melbourne: When was Mel born?
>
> Melody: musical Mel.
If it's a six-voice fugue, it'll be Mel Blanc!
nemo
> > > Daring: Adventurous ring.
> > >
> > > Earring: A ring sensitive to sound. See also Hearing.
> > >
> > > Engineering: A ring that's a good mechanic.
> > >
> > > Faring: A ring that believes in listening to all points of view
> > before
> > > making a judgment.
> > >
> > > Hearing: A ring that is sensitive to sound. See also Earring.
> > >
> > Faring: Musical wind deflector on a motorbike owned by a Big Dipper
> > operator.
>
> Deflector: Mountain top that diverts moving objects.
>
> D. Flect: Demon that diverts moving objects.
Flexor: To row a boat.
Tensor: A muscular male singer with a highish voice.
Tonsure: A heavy monk's haircut!
nemo
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Size of paper used by idiot sewage workers: Foolscrap.
> > > > Size of paper used by beer drinkers with sore feet: Quart Toe.
> > > > Size of paper used by musicians: Octavo.
> > > > Size of paper used by your average obese American: Double
> > Elephant!
> > >
> > > Can I see this on Paper View?
> > >
> > That's a quire sort of request.
>
> Acquire: One singing group in church.
Fewp heap hole know that originally, a ream was 516 sheets and a quire was
26 sheets folded double!
Queen Victoria wrote her letters on Imperial and the present Queen, with
much less pink on the world map, has to make do with Royal.
Excellent celebrations for her 80th birthday today.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/5090296.stm
I saw the flypast sideways through my window and binoculars. Very
impressive.
nemo
> > >
> > > Occult: Religious sect that worships the letter "O".
> > >
> > > Occur: Dog in that cult.
> > >
> > > Occupy: Pie eaten by troops in Iraq.
> > >
> > > Odic: Penis # O.
> > >
> > > Okay: Island # O, or O shaped island.
> > >
> > > Optic: Tic that corrects eyesight.
> > >
> > > Oppose: To stand in an "O" shape.
> > >
> >
> > Akimb "O" ??
>
> Obese: Fat O.
Obeast: A fat animal.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Spikey: Key to a CIA agent.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> > > > >> > > > Nah, they merely signed the Maggot � laCarta.
> > > > >> > >
> > > > >> > > I larva pun like that!
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > You'll outgrow it once you find your wings.
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Not if he drinks his ale late!
> > > > >>
> > > > >That obviously went over your heads. It would. It's the technical
> term
> > > for
> > > > >wing-like and is used to describe winged insects such as queen and
> drone
> > > > >ants!
> > > > >
> > > > Hey Mr. High and Mighty. I have a Ph.D. in that bug stuff, so blow it
> > > > out your ass.
> > > >
> > > You sure it ain't a Nh.D., nick?!
> > >
> > > And I haven't had mighty yet. It's still in the pot.
> >
> > Potting: Musical ceramic container.
> >
> > Potting: Musical majuana.
> >
> > Plotting: Musical play.
>
> It's lucky plots aren't spikey, otherwise it'd be very painful hatching one!
Spikey: Key to a CIA agent.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> > > > >> > > > Nah, they merely signed the Maggot � laCarta.
> > > > >> > >
> > > > >> > > I larva pun like that!
> > > > >> >
> > > > >> > You'll outgrow it once you find your wings.
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Not if he drinks his ale late!
> > > > >>
> > > > >That obviously went over your heads. It would. It's the technical
> term
> > > for
> > > > >wing-like and is used to describe winged insects such as queen and
> drone
> > > > >ants!
> > > > >
> > > > Hey Mr. High and Mighty. I have a Ph.D. in that bug stuff, so blow it
> > > > out your ass.
> > > >
> > > You sure it ain't a Nh.D., nick?!
> > >
> > > And I haven't had mighty yet. It's still in the pot.
> >
> > Potting: Musical ceramic container.
> >
> > Potting: Musical majuana.
> >
> > Plotting: Musical play.
>
> It's lucky plots aren't spikey, otherwise it'd be very painful hatching one!
Spikey: Key to a CIA agent.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41DCF32F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4109C895...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > > >
> > > > > Parapet: Supernatural dog or cat.
> > > >
> > > > Paralize: Supernatural fibs.
> > >
> > > Parabolas: Supernatural Mexican hunting device that tangles the
legs
> > of the
> > > prey.
> > >
> > > Parador: Supernatural entrance, e.g., what the Ancient Egyptians
had
> > so that
> > > the spirits of their ancestors could visit them. About 80%
Alc/Vol, I
> > think
> > > they were.
> > >
> > > Paracrine: A paratrooper sobbing because he's landed on his nuts
and
> > messed
> > > up his hormoans.
> > >
> > > Paradise: Heaven for Craps players.
> >
> > Paralegals: Supernatural lawyers.
> >
> > Bloomerangs: Flowers that keep coming back.
> >
> Boomerangs: Floating barriers across harbours with bells on them.
>
> Boomeringues: Exploding sweet toppings etc. made of beaten egg whites
and
> sugar.
>
> Poomerang: Rebounding turd.
Turdy: Demon shit.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:448E6107...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On Sun, 9 May 2004 23:40:13 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> > > <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Have you ever tried to say no to the Department of Defense?
> > > >
> > > >I find it's much easier to deal with the Department of Degate
> > instead.
> > >
> > > In your case, yes. I've heard that you have often been given Degate.
> >
> > How about the Department of Veterans Affairs?
> >
> > Curvet: Former Dog soldier.
> >
> > Velvet: Cloth soldier.
> >
> > Vetting: Army bell.
>
> Veto-ran: The power to prohibit a proposed period of travelling on foot at
> high speed.
V-Toe: Vampire foot digit.
Tim Bruening
> > > > > Embarrassing: Red faced singer.
> > > > >
> > > > > Embossing: Song of a potter.
> > > > >
> > > > > Embracing: Hugging song.
> > > > >
> > > > > Expressing: Song of a failed newspaper.
> > > > >
> > > > > Flossing: Dentist song.
> > > > >
> > > > > Grossings: 144 songs.
> > > > >
> > > > > Harassing: Song that bugs people.
> > > > >
> > > > > Harnessing: Song of draft animals.
> > > > >
> > > > > Hissing: Snake song.
> > > > >
> > > > > History: Conservative British snake
> > > >
> > > > . . . or goose.
> > > >
> > > > His/Herstory: Politically correct record of past events.
> > >
> > > Exploratory: British Conservative in space.
> > >
> >
> > Mandatory: John Profumo visiting Miss Rice-Davis.
>
> Man D.: Male demon.
Nor forgetting the habitual rape victim, Amanda Natt-Tommy.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FD033DF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Forecast: 4 actors.
> >
> > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> >
> > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> >
> Telecast: Greek actors a long way away.
Comcast: Computerized actors.
Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
Hylander: A landing craft high on drugs.