March 1 Puns
Tim Bruening
Hitting: Aggressive bell.
Jetting: Flying bell.
Lapping: Bell sitting down.
Lapping: Bell on a cat's tongue.
Tim Bruening
Hiding: Far up bell.
Hounding: Dog bell.
Letting: Let every bell ring.
Mending: Male bell.
Tim Bruening
Riding: Bell on a horse.
Ripping: Bell that tears.
Sending: Bell that goes to another person.
Shipping: Bell on the deep blue sea.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Just been mentioned on the telly:
>
> The man who founded the Durex contraceptive company was called Thomas
> Handcock!!!
>
> Would have been better if he'd been called John Thomas Handcock butt
you
> c*n't have everything!
Condon: Against Mafia leaders.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 19 May 2004 14:45:09 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> found these
unused
> words floating about:
>
> >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >> On Tue, 18 May 2004 12:17:48 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> found
these
> >> unused words floating about:
> >>
> >>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>>>> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:40A93E6D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>>>>> The man rode on the horse, and yet he walked beside it. How
can
> >>>>>> this statement be true?
> >>>>>
> >>>> What does the leader of the Catholic Church, a domesticated
feline
> >>>> and part of a flower have in common?
> >>>
> >>> Letters of the alphabet are used to name them.
> >>>
> >> Sea'son yore! (da nada)
> >
> >Donkey shit.
> >
> Thanks for the ID, knew I'd find an expert.
ID: Internet Demon.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> After putting 6ft of good, rich, mineral-based soil on his land, a farmer
> got awarded a Deep Loamer.
Loamer: Ocean of fertile soil.
Loaming: Vase of rich soil.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C662AD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Abbey Normal wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41C4E98E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Bob Crowley wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >> news:<40DEC5AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > >> > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Content: Against camping.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > > >>
> > > >> bipartisan - artist with hair parted in the middle
> > > >>
> > > >> bicycle - use twice only
> > > >>
> > > >> bipolar - compass with north and south
> > > >>
> > > >> binary - 2 canaries
> > > >>
> > > >> bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> > > >
> > > > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> > >
> > > Everyone has their own idea of what a little trim is.
> >
> > Trimming: A cut Chinese vase.
> >
> Narr. It's a Chinese pudding bason that bad barbours put on customers' heads
> and cut round to get an even edge instead of doing a proper short bacon
> sides..
Trimmer: Ocean of Christmas decorations.
Trimming: Chinese vase containing same.
Tim Bruening
herculles wrote:
> Wasn't Fascination what Italy was under Mussolini in the Second World
War?
>
> bagelncr...@hotmail.com (meat n potatoes) wrote in message
news:<1d7e07b1.0403...@posting.google.com>...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40580B73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > >
> > > Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> >
> > fascination.
Damnation: A nation doomed to go to Hell in a handbasket.
Tim Bruening
Contraband: Music making Nicaraguan rebels.
Contrabass: A member of the Contraband.
Contradance: The Ollie North shuffle.
Confessor: Priestly knight.
Tim Bruening
"Elisabeth Müller" wrote:
> On Sun, 25 Apr 2004 08:49:09 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
>
> >Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 08:33:26 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >>>> On Sun, 18 Apr 2004 15:28:06 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
>
> >>>>> One with pygthurr much food in it.
> >>>>
> >>>> There isn't such a thing.
> >>>
> >>> There is if only one bottle of wine can fit.
> >>
> >> One point for Mos.
> >
> >One pint!?! That is not enough.....oh, wait, you said point.
> >When I get enough points, do I get a prize?
>
> A blue ribbon.
Ribbon: Part of a pastry skeleton.
Tim Bruening
Scripting: A play about bells.
Subcontract: Legal agreement underwater.
Substandard: Underwater flag.
Subscribe: Mermaid secretary.
Subscript: Underwater play.
Superscript: Clark Kent play.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:403C6DB1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Dolphin: What a doll fish needs to swim in the doll sea.
> >
> > Sea lion. See lion run.
> >
> > Save Hugh Manatee and his wife Sally Womatee.
>
> And what's that park in Californicate named after someone shouting a
> greeting to half a cup of tea??
>
> Yo! Semi-tea!
>
> Californicate: Device for measuring sexual activity.
Stud sensor: Used by women to find good men.
Tim Bruening
Totality: All the tea.
Tuba: To sound like a sheep.
Unity: Tea that brings people together.
Utility: Tea that supplies water, gas, and electricity.
Tim Bruening
Faculty: Tea drunk by teachers.
Focus: Swearing by the enemy.
Futility: Tea that can't do anything.
Futile: Not enough floor coverings.
nemo
A cat stung what?
nemo
Rings when the postman arrives.
nemo
They have those - on top of buoys - like Michael Jackson!
nemo
Was also the name of our last but one Metropolitan Police Commissioner! Sir
Paul Condon.
Newsreaders used to worry themselves sick about making the obvious mistake!
nemo
Not very humus, Peat.
nemo
New Orleans thought it was a dam nation - and look what happened there!
They should levee a huge surcharge on Dubbaya and his government for making
such a huge cock-up and neglecting all but the rich bastards afterwards!
nemo
Confester: Same, with an infection.
nemo
If it were sponge pastry, would that be osteopanosis?
nemo
>
> Scripting: A play about bells.
>
> Subcontract: Legal agreement underwater.
>
> Substandard: Underwater flag.
>
> Subscribe: Mermaid secretary.
>
> Subscript: Underwater play.
Grey Lady Down: I year-old corpse found on the seabed.
The Abyss: A head nun of a convent found on the seabed.
"Hands up all those who think that was a Russian water tentacle!"
Brilliant!
The guy who played the flaky Special Forces bastard was a bloody good actor!
<rant>
Funny how, before the Director's Cut came out, the scenes of human cruelty
and incompetence shown to the hero as reasons why the aliens had decided to
destroy mankind were all cut.
If even mild political statements like that can rattle politicians to the
extent that they force them to be cut from films, it shows that our
politicians and our so-called 'Establishments' both sides of the pond are
far more sick in the head and evil than most people realise!
</rant>
>
> Superscript: Clark Kent play.
nemo
Roller Shutter Contact: Confirms the door is shut on a trap for a kind of
acrobatic Kingfisher of the family Coraciidę.
That's Cora-ci-idee.
Here's one:
http://destinyzone.biz/roller_shutter_contact.htm
nemo
. . or a pressurised lantern for female sheep which uses traditional
English beverage instead of paraffin/kerosene.
Here's one.
http://www.mistweb.force9.co.uk/graphics/tilly.jpg
nemo
Future: A hungry toothless person who can't eat very many things.