February 29 Puns

Tim Bruening

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Feb 20, 2006, 1:36:51 AM2/20/06

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Eligible: Bachelor cow.

Legible: Bull with writing.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 20, 2006, 1:37:17 AM2/20/06

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Bun-Knee: Fast hoppie pastry.

Rab-bit: Animal used to control a horse.

Rab-bit: Computer bunny.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 20, 2006, 1:37:42 AM2/20/06

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Surfer: Very hairy knight who likes to ride boards on water.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 20, 2006, 1:38:19 AM2/20/06

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Scotland: Country of toilet paper.

Diploma: A negotiating Mom.

Diplomat: Floor covering at the embassy.

Embassy: Ocean of diplomats.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 20, 2006, 1:39:45 AM2/20/06

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Reduce: The tennis game is tied again.

Reduce: Mussolini is back in power.

Subtract: A train underwater.

Duction: The process of becoming a duck.

Conduct: Against ducks.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 20, 2006, 1:40:07 AM2/20/06

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Conduction: Against becoming a duck.

Reduction: To become a duck again.

Subduct: Underwater duck.

Subduction: To become an underwater duck.

Subtraction: How a sub pushes off against the ground.

Duct Tape: Used to tape together broken ducks.

Duct Tape: Recording of duck calls.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 20, 2006, 1:40:29 AM2/20/06

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Robin May wrote:

> hercul...@yahoo.com (herculles) wrote the following in:
> news:3c88f7e9.04031...@posting.google.com
>
> > What do you get if you mix a fella with Horatio?
>
> A fella she owes. But who is she that owes the fella and what does she
> owe him?

Owing: A borrowed bird.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:30:17 AM3/3/06

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Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:32:26 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41F0C313...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41930A1E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4191B108...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Compeer: Computer colleague.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compel: Charismatic computer.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compete: Computer that likes to race.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Competition: Computer political activist.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compose: A robot standing in a silly way.
> > > >
> > > > Compose: Computer poetry
> > > >
> > > Robots write poems in HEX,
> > > While standing on big metal legs.
> > > The long stream of bits,
> > > Can get on your tits
> > > Till you plug up your ears with some pegs!
> > >
> > > Boom Boom!
> >
> > Do witches write in HEX also?
>
> Clouds write in Oktal.

Would you like to Binary at the market?

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:32:45 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41F07E72...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Parboil: To heat a golf course to 212 F.
>
> . . or to heat your father to the same temperature.

Parking: King Daddy?

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:33:24 AM3/3/06

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"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Mon, 24 Jan 2005 11:28:17 -0500, David Reihmer
<sim...@mindspring.com>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >In article <41f49712$0$73057$d36...@news.calweb.com>,
> > "Jenni Saqua" <suppo...@R.troops.gov> wrote:
> >
> >> A US headline about the bad snowstorm, back east: "Blizzard maroons

> >> thousands at airports"
> >>
> >> Wow. You just know that this had them seeing red!
> >>
> >And walking around, adrift.
>
> Sleet music to my ears ...

Sleeting: Musical ice pellets.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:33:46 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41F48C07...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Candidacy: Ocean of politicians.
> >
> > Papacy: Religious ocean.
> >
> > Parity: Two teas.
> >
> > Party: Tea that celebrates.
> >
> > Panda: Father of a pan.
>
> Pandemonium: Uproar in Hell's Kitchen when the chips/french fries
catch
> fire!

Panorama: Choice between cooking utensil and a ewe with a son.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:34:22 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41EEF7B1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <vnchp51...@corp.supernews.com>,
jblv...@yahoo.com, Sy
> > Knight
> > > was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Flatulent Dingo wrote ...
> > > >>
> > > >> Hello Nick,
> > > >>
> > > >> On Thu, 25 Sep 2003, at 13:57:43 [GMT-0700] (which was Fri,
6:57:43
> >
> > > >> Australian Eastern Time) you wrote:
> > > >> > Aye, they are a brogish lot. One was seen aubergine.
> > > >>
> > > >> I am green with envy.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >She was well, red.
> > > >
> > > That happened when she noticed she was showing pink.
> >
> > Pink Lee: Sunburned Korean.
> >
> Crink Lee: 200 year-old Gypsy stripper.

Gypsy: Ocean of con artists.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:34:40 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

Stripper: Price of a Green Belt.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:46:38 AM3/3/06

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Tripping: Bell on a journey.

Stripping: Nude bell.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:47:00 AM3/3/06

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Contradiction: What a Nicaraguan rebel secretary takes.

Imodium AD: Opposite of Imodium BC.

Ham Radio: Broadcasts in Pig Latin.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 1:47:18 AM3/3/06

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Fish Eye no Miko wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:40305EF7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> > Storing: You can put anything in this ring.
>
> My... Precious...

Is it your Gollum to get the Lord of the Rings?

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:23:27 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" wrote in message
news:431E7D55...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Sucking: King of straws or baby king.
>
> Working: King doing a job.
>
> Yanking: King who pulls stuff.

Haulier: King Leer pulling stuff!

Leering: Ring of men staring at women's private parts.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:24:14 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:427C6A36...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Excrescent: Former Muslim symbol.
> >
> > Excrete: Former island in the Atlantic near Greece and Turkey.
> >
> > Excurrent: No more electricity.
> >
> > Execute: No longer cute.
> >
> > Exhale: Former revolutionary sailor.
>
> Example: A nicely plump person who has become far too slim.

Excel: The jail has fallen apart!

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:25:42 AM3/3/06

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Advertising: Singing commercials.

Advert: Plus green.

Convert: Against green.

Cavity: Tea that rots your teeth.

Censor: Knight who enforces political correctness.

Divert: To color something green.

Pervert: Price of a Green Party member.

Subvert: Mermaids in the Green Party.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:25:58 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Subplot: Underwater farm.
> >
> Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret still!!)
>
> Subarid: Underwater desert.
> Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.

Antarctic: Cold ant.

Subarctic: Cold underwater tic.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:26:14 AM3/3/06

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Cronkite: A flying anchor.

Glancing: Singing and looking.

Looking: King of eyes.

Boil Ling: Chinese at 212 degrees.

Convert: Green criminal.

Divert: Green die.

Invert: Green hotel.

Revert: Turn green again.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:26:26 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> "Bim Truening" <b...@example.com> wrote in message
> news:X2BT9D3838646.7278240741@reece.net.au...
> > Lazy: impulsives.
> >
> > Venomous: Radioactive fence.
> >
> > In farmit: An equine sink.
> >
> >
> Infirmity: Walter, as played by Danny Kaye, employed by a company.

Infirmity: Sick glove.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:26:51 AM3/3/06

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oups:
alt.humor.puns, alt.religion.kibology, mn.humor,
alt.callahans
References:
1 , 2 , 3

nemo wrote:

> Puns is a kind of jokes!
>
> Bloody puns? OK:
>
> Sam Guin Harry.
> Gay Opticians surgery: Faggocite.
> Crockery rented apartments: Platelets.
> People who study jumping, biting parasites' gonads: Phleabologists.

Bloody Mary!

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:30:32 AM3/3/06

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Fish Eye no Miko wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:40305EF7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> > Storing: You can put anything in this ring.
>
> My... Precious...

Is it your Gollum to get the Lord of the Rings?

Yucatan: A part of Mexico that suns itself when not being pounded by
hurricanes.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:30:49 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:4358936D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Adam Funk wrote:
> >
> > > On Monday 17 October 2005 20:22, Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >
> > > > House does a house fly?
> > >
> > > Time flies like an arrow.
> > > Fruit flies like a banana.
> >
> > What about just plane flies?
> >
>
> You can't plane flies. They'd clog up the iron. (blade)

Ernie heard a woodpecker, and I was glad it wasn't a steelpecker.

Tim Bruening

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Mar 3, 2006, 2:45:25 AM3/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41822E79...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Stockpile: Hill of cows and other farm animals.
>
> Stocktaking: Rustling.

Migraine: That's my wheat, rice, etc.. If you take it, I'll give you a
splitting headache!

Migrate: That's my football field!

Migrating: That's my musical football field!

Tim Bruening

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Jun 28, 2006, 3:23:13 AM6/28/06

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Tim Bruening

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Jun 28, 2006, 3:23:41 AM6/28/06

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:12:23 AM7/3/06

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:12:36 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41F0C313...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > news:41930A1E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:12:46 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:13:08 AM7/3/06

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:13:17 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:13:42 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41EEF7B1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <vnchp51...@corp.supernews.com>,
jblv...@yahoo.com, Sy
> > Knight
> > > was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Flatulent Dingo wrote ...
> > > >>
> > > >> Hello Nick,
> > > >>
> > > >> On Thu, 25 Sep 2003, at 13:57:43 [GMT-0700] (which was Fri,
6:57:43
> >
> > > >> Australian Eastern Time) you wrote:
> > > >> > Aye, they are a brogish lot. One was seen aubergine.
> > > >>
> > > >> I am green with envy.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >She was well, red.
> > > >
> > > That happened when she noticed she was showing pink.
> >
> > Pink Lee: Sunburned Korean.
> >
> Crink Lee: 200 year-old Gypsy stripper.

Gypsy: Ocean of con artists.

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:13:53 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

Stripper: Price of a Green Belt.

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:18:43 AM7/3/06

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:33:03 AM7/3/06

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:33:13 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:34:23 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:34:34 AM7/3/06

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:36:03 AM7/3/06

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Fish Eye no Miko wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2006, 2:40:17 AM7/3/06

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 10:54:23 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8B547...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Eligible: Bachelor cow.
>
> Legible: Bull with writing.

Gible-lets: Chicken guts!

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 10:55:01 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8B554...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

I'm not nary-minded enough to.

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 10:56:35 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8B55E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Or a Divisional Traffic Warden Controller, like Mrs. Broomhead, né Culpan.

I kid you not. Nice person though.

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 10:57:57 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8B574...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

That's soggy snow. You're thin king of Hail, Cæsar!

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 10:59:55 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8B57D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Cinerama: In a skit by Charlie Drake, the choice between the favours of a
Mediæval Tom/ho, and a knight's metal suit!

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 11:01:52 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8B5A1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Eh? She was used to bribe officials into granting Planning Permission?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Belt

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 11:02:37 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8B6C3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

>
> Tripping: Bell on a journey.
>
> Stripping: Nude bell.

Naked white stalk: Garlic bulb with no cloves on!

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 11:04:21 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8BA1F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Or if they have lush green pubes - privet parts!

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 11:05:48 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8BA29...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

School has broken up for Christmas as well. They're going to use it for
firewood!
(Spike Milligan)

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 11:09:35 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8BAD3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Narr. It's a nice brown skin got from rubbing in the sap of trees in the
agave family Agavaceę which are notable for their rosettes of evergreen,
tough, sword-shaped leaves and large terminal clusters of white or whitish
flowers.

So there!

nemo

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Jul 3, 2006, 11:10:27 AM7/3/06

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:44A8BBD1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Migrating: Thing that lets air and light down into micellar!

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:52:10 AM7/3/07

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:52:09 AM7/3/07

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:52:33 AM7/3/07

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:52:34 AM7/3/07

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:57:33 AM7/3/07

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:57:35 AM7/3/07

to

nemo wrote:

Gypsy: Ocean of con artists.

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:57:50 AM7/3/07

to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:57:52 AM7/3/07

to

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:57:54 AM7/3/07

to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:58:08 AM7/3/07

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 3, 2007, 12:58:06 AM7/3/07

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41F0C313...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > news:41930A1E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Jul 9, 2007, 3:21:17 AM7/9/07

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nemo wrote:

Weird soldiers: Private Parts, Private Joke, Private Party.

Tim Bruening

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Jul 9, 2007, 3:21:42 AM7/9/07

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44A8BA29...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:427C6A36...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Excrescent: Former Muslim symbol.
> > > >
> > > > Excrete: Former island in the Atlantic near Greece and Turkey.
> > > >
> > > > Excurrent: No more electricity.
> > > >
> > > > Execute: No longer cute.
> > > >
> > > > Exhale: Former revolutionary sailor.
> > >
> > > Example: A nicely plump person who has become far too slim.
> >
> > Excel: The jail has fallen apart!
>
> School has broken up for Christmas as well. They're going to use it for
> firewood!

Christmas in July?

Tim Bruening

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Nov 5, 2007, 3:57:55 AM11/5/07

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Tim Bruening

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Nov 5, 2007, 3:57:56 AM11/5/07

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Tim Bruening

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Nov 5, 2007, 3:58:08 AM11/5/07

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Tim Bruening

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Nov 5, 2007, 3:58:22 AM11/5/07

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Dec 8, 2007, 5:20:24 AM12/8/07

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Dec 8, 2007, 5:23:19 AM12/8/07

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Tim Bruening

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Feb 7, 2008, 9:53:18 PM2/7/08

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Tim Bruening

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Feb 7, 2008, 9:53:23 PM2/7/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Feb 7, 2008, 9:53:43 PM2/7/08

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Feb 7, 2008, 9:53:47 PM2/7/08

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Tim Bruening

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Feb 7, 2008, 9:57:00 PM2/7/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

nemo

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Feb 9, 2008, 10:28:07 PM2/9/08

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:47ABC41E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

>
> Cronkite: A flying anchor.
>
> Glancing: Singing and looking.
>
> Looking: King of eyes.
>
> Boil Ling: Chinese at 212 degrees.

Well that sire sounds like what they used to cook down Gerrard Street in the
60s when I was a telephoyne Engine Ear down there! Gar masks they should
have issued us!

The grub's much better down there now that the streeet and teh rest of China
Town had become famous. And teh food.

>
> Convert: Green criminal.
>
> Divert: Green die.

Divert: An injured frogman.

> Invert: Green hotel.
>
> Revert: Turn green again.

Verdigris: Thick green lubricating oil.

Convent: Against air conditioning. Probably caught Leg-in-air's Disease
once!

nemo

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Feb 9, 2008, 10:28:08 PM2/9/08

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:47ABC423...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Narr. It's a cross between a formicida and a nasty biting parasite that's
got caught in a high Voltage plasma discharge by walking across the
multiplier tray on top of some poor sod's monitor's EHT transformer! Innit!
ZAPP!
>
> Subarctic: Cold underwater tic.

Narr. That was the Russian underwater craft in Ice Station Zebra - although
why they couldn't have taken a more suitable animal up there I've no eye
deer!

Right. That's all yer gettin for now. My curry, rice and vine-leaf, apple
and onion Bhajia are nearly ready - and apart from that, I've had so much
Cognac while I was cooking it I can harldy strype Tate!

Tim Bruening

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Feb 11, 2008, 2:19:32 AM2/11/08

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:47ABC41E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Cronkite: A flying anchor.
> >
> > Glancing: Singing and looking.
> >
> > Looking: King of eyes.
> >
> > Boil Ling: Chinese at 212 degrees.
>
> Well that sire sounds like what they used to cook down Gerrard Street in the
> 60s when I was a telephoyne Engine Ear down there! Gar masks they should
> have issued us!

Whats a gar mask?

Tim Bruening

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Feb 11, 2008, 2:20:06 AM2/11/08

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:47ABC41E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Cronkite: A flying anchor.
> >
> > Glancing: Singing and looking.
> >
> > Looking: King of eyes.
> >
> > Boil Ling: Chinese at 212 degrees.
>
> Well that sire sounds like what they used to cook down Gerrard Street in the
> 60s when I was a telephoyne Engine Ear down there! Gar masks they should
> have issued us!

They were cooking Chinese a la the Holocaust?

nemo

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Feb 11, 2008, 4:02:16 PM2/11/08

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:47AFF704...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

It's a gas mark for romeone with a rpeech defect!

nemo

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Feb 11, 2008, 4:02:16 PM2/11/08

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"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:47AFF726...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

I don't like Holocaust puns or jokes. Prisoner-of-War camp jokes are OK
though.

Camp Common Dent addressink der prisonerss:

"Iyy heff some gut newss undt some bad newss for you, gentlemenss. First,
here ist der gut newss: Half of you are goink tzu Stalag 15 unt zi other
half tzu Stalag 16."

Prisoners' C.O.: "So what is the bad news, sir?"

Common Dent: "Ze answer ist simple. Ze top haves of you are goink tzu 15 and
ze bottom halves are goink to 16!!!"

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:07 PM2/29/08

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Fish Eye no Miko wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:40305EF7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> > Storing: You can put anything in this ring.
>
> My... Precious...

Is it your Gollum to get the Lord of the Rings?

Yucatan: A part of Mexico that suns itself when not being pounded by
hurricanes.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:03 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:10 PM2/29/08

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Cronkite: A flying anchor.

Glancing: Singing and looking.

Looking: King of eyes.

Boil Ling: Chinese at 212 degrees.

Convert: Green criminal.

Divert: Green die.

Invert: Green hotel.

Revert: Turn green again.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:15 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Subplot: Underwater farm.
> >
> Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret still!!)
>
> Subarid: Underwater desert.
> Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.

Antarctic: Cold ant.

Subarctic: Cold underwater tic.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:19 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:23 PM2/29/08

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Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:37 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41EEF7B1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > mike wheeEler wrote:
> >
> > > In article <vnchp51...@corp.supernews.com>,
jblv...@yahoo.com, Sy
> > Knight
> > > was looking at the world oddly when:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Flatulent Dingo wrote ...
> > > >>
> > > >> Hello Nick,
> > > >>
> > > >> On Thu, 25 Sep 2003, at 13:57:43 [GMT-0700] (which was Fri,
6:57:43
> >
> > > >> Australian Eastern Time) you wrote:
> > > >> > Aye, they are a brogish lot. One was seen aubergine.
> > > >>
> > > >> I am green with envy.
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >She was well, red.
> > > >
> > > That happened when she noticed she was showing pink.
> >
> > Pink Lee: Sunburned Korean.
> >
> Crink Lee: 200 year-old Gypsy stripper.

Stripper: Price of a Green Belt.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:08:41 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

Gypsy: Ocean of con artists.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:09:50 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41F48C07...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Candidacy: Ocean of politicians.
> >
> > Papacy: Religious ocean.
> >
> > Parity: Two teas.
> >
> > Party: Tea that celebrates.
> >
> > Panda: Father of a pan.
>
> Pandemonium: Uproar in Hell's Kitchen when the chips/french fries
catch
> fire!

Panorama: Choice between cooking utensil and a ewe with a son.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:10:03 PM2/29/08

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"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Mon, 24 Jan 2005 11:28:17 -0500, David Reihmer
<sim...@mindspring.com>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >In article <41f49712$0$73057$d36...@news.calweb.com>,
> > "Jenni Saqua" <suppo...@R.troops.gov> wrote:
> >
> >> A US headline about the bad snowstorm, back east: "Blizzard maroons

> >> thousands at airports"
> >>
> >> Wow. You just know that this had them seeing red!
> >>
> >And walking around, adrift.
>
> Sleet music to my ears ...

Sleeting: Musical ice pellets.

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:10:07 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41F07E72...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Parboil: To heat a golf course to 212 F.
>
> . . or to heat your father to the same temperature.

Parking: King Daddy?

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:10:10 PM2/29/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41F0C313...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > news:41930A1E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > > > news:4191B108...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Compeer: Computer colleague.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compel: Charismatic computer.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Compete: Computer that likes to race.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Competition: Computer political activist.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compose: A robot standing in a silly way.
> > > >
> > > > Compose: Computer poetry
> > > >
> > > Robots write poems in HEX,
> > > While standing on big metal legs.
> > > The long stream of bits,
> > > Can get on your tits
> > > Till you plug up your ears with some pegs!
> > >
> > > Boom Boom!
> >
> > Do witches write in HEX also?
>
> Clouds write in Oktal.

Would you like to Binary at the market?

Tim Bruening

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Feb 29, 2008, 7:10:14 PM2/29/08

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Eligible: Bachelor cow.

Legible: Bull with writing.

Tim Bruening

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Apr 18, 2008, 1:45:12 PM4/18/08

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nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

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Apr 18, 2008, 1:45:05 PM4/18/08

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Tim Bruening

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Apr 18, 2008, 1:46:44 PM4/18/08

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nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message