30 June Puns
Tim Bruening
Foresaw: In favor of cutting down trees.
Foresee: In favor of oceans.
Format: In favor of the martial arts.
Fortress: In favor of dresses.
Tim Bruening
Boozer: Drunk knight.
Hooser: Owl knight.
Looser: Knight escape artist.
Loser: Defeated knight.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4047B156...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4046D632...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Bester: Spinning SF writer.
> > > >
> > > > Bester: Spinning Psi Cop on Babylon 5.
> > > >
> > > > Vaccuming: Vase that sucks.
> > > >
> > > > Zooming: Fast moving Chinese vase.
> > > >
> > > > Zooming: Vase with lots of animals inside.
> > > >
> > > Affirming: Hairy vase.
> > >
> > > Beaming: Vase full of apines.
> > >
> > > Charming: Vase that does the housework or makes the tea in a factory.
> > >
> > > Deeming: Vase containing the ashes of a character from "Neighbours" who
> > > drowned because the car wasn't waterproof!
> > >
> > > Fuming: Not many vases left.
> > >
> > > Disclaiming: Vase made of something else.
> > >
> > > Exhuming: Vase that used to belong to Hubert.
> > >
> > > Foaming: Vase containing one's enemy's ashes!
> >
> > Forming: In favor of Chinese vases.
> >
> Looming: An antique Chinese Chamber Pot.
Blooming: Chinese vase with flowers.
Tim Bruening
Typecast: Cloud letters and numbers in the sky.
Overcast: Capital letters in the sky
Forecast: 4 clouds.
Recast: Cloudy again.
Steelcast: Members of a mechanical play. Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Tim Bruening
Arming: Explosive vase.
Averting: Bell that avoids disaster.
Biting: Toothy bell.
Biting: Purchase a bell.
Tim Bruening
Compounding: Bell at a computerized dog pound.
Dating: Calender bell.
Dating: Romance bell.
Dating: Fruit bell.
Dating: Bell that only rings in the daytime.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FB5D5FA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >
> > > > Subdue: Underwater postage stamp.
> > >
> > > Gunman: Man with a gun for a head.
> >
> > Handgun: To have a gun for a hand.
> >
> Pistol: A gun kept in a Urinal.
Grenada: Father of a hand thrown explosive.
Panda: Father of a cooking container.
Pan Nick: Easily scared man.
Son Nick: Noisy man.
Tim Bruening
> Purloin: The meaty part on the back of a cat.
Purmit: Cat glove.
Barking: Canine monarch.
Tim Bruening
Subalpine: Sad underwater Presidential candidate from 2000.
Subbass: Underwater metal music.
Subculture: Underwater art.
Subhepatic: Parasite on an underwater snake.
Subvert: Underwater Green Party.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BBBCAE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > On 19 Mar 2004 00:18:22 -0800, bagelncr...@hotmail.com (meat
n
> > > potatoes) found these unused words floating about:
> > >
> > > >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:<40580B73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > >> Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > > >>
> > > >> Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> > > >
> > > >Fascination.
> > > ... Thailand.
> >
> > Thailand: Neckwear country.
>
> Moravia: Country where people shout and scream a lot.
Screaming: Chinese vase with loud ice cream.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 17 Mar 2004 15:55:10 GMT, David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >In article <405573EB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> >
> >> Free Masons: Thoses who build brick walls for free.
> >
> >Free Masons: while supplies last!
>
> Cementing your customer list?
Cementing: Musical streets.
Cementing: Hard bell.
Tim Bruening
Fisher: Marine knight.
Refresher: Cleaning knight.
Vanisher: Disappearing knight.
Varnisher: Furniture knight.
Tim Bruening
Eraser: Knight of Internet horse race betting.
Questor: Knight of epic adventures.
Tim Bruening
Baming: Sheep Chinese vase.
Forming: 4 Chinese vases.
Performing: Price of 4 Chinese vases.
Rooming: Kangaroo vase.
Swarming: Group of insect vases.
Worming: Small skinny vase in the ground.
Tim Bruening
Renting: To borrow a bell.
Rusting: Iron oxide bell.
Scalping: Musical hair.
Shooting: Gun bell.
Tim Bruening
Priming: First vase.
Trimming: A fit vase.
Perfecting: Bell with no flaws.
Petting: Companion animal bell.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424E595E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB5D5FA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Subdue: Underwater postage stamp.
> > > > >
> > > > > Gunman: Man with a gun for a head.
> > > >
> > > > Handgun: To have a gun for a hand.
> > > >
> > > Pistol: A gun kept in a Urinal.
> >
> > Grenada: Father of a hand thrown explosive.
> >
> >
> Grenada: Instruction to someone to smile more intensely.
Goldy: Yellow demon.
Goldy: Demon made of Element 79.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4330E0F0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:422A9AA2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4229700...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:40305C3F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > Typo: Order to type the 15th letter of the alphabet.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Typo: Small cauldron for washing neckwear in that is usually
> found
> > > under
> > > > > the
> > > > > > > bed.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Bloodletter: Letter written by a vampire.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Sexidecimal: Sex to the 60th power!
> > > > >
> > > > > (true) There was a very contraversial play on BBC TV many years ago
> > > called
> > > > > The Sex Olympics.
> > > > >
> > > > > I don't think they could get away with a real Sex Olympics yet, but
> one
> > > day
> > > > > it'll cum!
> > > >
> > > > What happened in the Sex Olympics?
> > > >
> > > You sure imagination!
> > >
> > > It was shown ages ago so, because of censorship, they they could only
> hint
> > > at what went on.
> >
> > Censorship: Boat that suppresses dissent.
>
> Censership: Boat dat distributes dissent of de incense in de church!
Relationship: Boats in love.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4330E3AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > A railway track maintenance worker was sacked because of his lacquer
> daisy
> > > call attitude.
> > >
> > > They said that when welding pieces of rail together, he showed no
> > > thermmitment to the job whatsoever!
> >
> > His career has been derailed!
>
> That's because he fell off his bicycle when his Derailier got tangled up!
Demystify: Demon that writes crime novels.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4330D3F4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > SFA wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening typed::
> > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >>The BBC have just started a new series featuring books about
> contrabass
> > > >>woodwind instruments. It's called The Big Reed!
> > > >
> > > > Contrabass: Fish eaten by 1980s Nicaraguan rebels.
> > > >
> > > Contraflow: Nicaraguan rebels emptying their bladder
> >
> > Would anyone like to dance like a Contra?
>
> Contrail: Streak of vapour across the sky in the wake of a Nicaraguan
> murdering bastard terrorist sponsored by the CIA launched into the sky by
> means of a rocket stuck up his arse!
CIA: Spy ocean.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4330D4C0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > James King wrote:
> >
> > > In article <407031E8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>, Tim Bruening
> > > <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
> > >
> > > > Bahrain: Sheep falling from the sky.
> > >
> > > Brings new meaning to having the wool pulled over your eyes.
> > >
> > > > Singapore: Musical skin.
> > >
> > > Singapore: the truth.
> > >
> > > James King (poor musician)
> >
> > Bahrain: Weather forcast by Scrooge.
>
> Hahhh! Bumhug!!! - Scrooge getting randy!
Randy: Frisky demon.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4330D4F6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4067D7CB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Palema wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Pavel314 wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > news:40653308...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >>Just two weeks to Iraq Liberation Day (The day Saddam Hussein fled
> > > > > >>Baghdad).
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Is a Baghdad the consort of a bag lady?
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > You mean Bagmom, right? I believe that's a salve they use for cows
> > > > > udders to relieve soreness and NG flames ;-)
> > > >
> > > > No, they use Bag Balm.
> > > >
> > > > Terrorists use Bag Bombs.
> > > >
> > > Exploding Hos?
> >
> > Occupy: Pie eaten in occupied Iraq.
>
> Stake and kiddie-knee pie: Something that frustrates pædophile vampires!
Connie: A knee convention.
Mikesell: A vendor of stick like devices that amplify voices.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40014B91...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Rumble: Druken male cow.
>
> Tumble: Male cow with stomach(s) ache.
>
> Bumble: Male cow with sore arse/ass.
>
> Fumble: Male cow who's very clumsy.
>
> Humble: Male cow who'd like to be moo-sickle but can't remember the words -
> or who stinks!.
>
> Scumble: Male cow who's intensly disliked.
Grumble: Complaining bull.
Amble: Bull just walking along.
Scramble: Fast bull.
Compatible: Friendly bull.
Compatible: Electronic bull.
Tim Bruening
Mos wrote:
> Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> > On Sun, 18 Apr 2004 15:28:58 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >
> >> Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >>> On Sat, 17 Apr 2004 15:54:05 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >
> >>>>> Men!
> >>>>> What would you do without us.
> >>>>
> >>>> Drink beer and Bar be que dead animal parts.
> >>>
> >>> I hope you do that with us, too.
> >>
> >> "With" or "to"?
> >
> > I would say "with", but prepositions are not my strong side.
>
> Either one would work for me. Is your strong
> side on the left or right?
Preposition: Before foreplay?
Tim Bruening
"Elisabeth Müller" wrote:
> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 08:33:26 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
>
> >Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >> On Sun, 18 Apr 2004 15:28:06 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >>
> >
> >>>>> <sigh> and only one bottle of wine in the pantry.
> >>>>
> >>>> What kind of stupid pantry is that?
> >>>
> >>> One with pygthurr much food in it.
> >>
> >> There isn't such a thing.
> >
> >There is if only one bottle of wine can fit.
>
> One point for Mos.
Apport: One wine bottle.
Porting: Musical wine.
Teleport: Give directions to wine.
Tim Bruening
Hubble: A bull that sees far into the heavens.
Kabul: Afghan bull.
Rubble: A bull that's gone to pieces.
Tim Bruening
Boozing: Singing ghost.
Hosing: Singing hooker.
Losing: Singing toilet.
Tim Bruening
Greg Evans wrote:
> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>
> [snipped "furry" stuff]
>
> > BTW, did you know if you joined three of them you get a discount?
>
> I never got farther than the intro page. All I could think of was the
> amount of shedding hair involved, which pretty much put me off the
whole
> idea.
Discount: To insult Dracula.
Shedding: A place to store tool bells.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:44A4D4B0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> headdr wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:405810F0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Overcast: He hurled the fishing rod out too far.
> > >
> > > Overcast: A play in the sky.
> > >
> > > Ironcast: A play involving The Stainless Steel Rat (Harry
Harrison).
> > >
> > >
> > Broadcast: Tossed her into the river.
> > Castigate: Threw the entrance into the road.
> > Instigate: Threw it very fast.
> > Castor oil: Threw out her make-up. (Tammy Fay)
> > Lubricate: Getting Cate oiled.
>
> Casting: Tossed the bell into the river.
Narr. That's pouring the molten bell-metal into the mould.
How they make bells using fungus to shape them like that I've no idea.
Molten: 10 burrowing animals.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:44A4D49E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:40557673...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Dreaming: Chinese vase in REM.
> >
> > What's a vase doing in a BASIC remarks line???
> > >
> > > Fleming: Nurse vase.
> > >
> > > Heming: Vase that shortens dresses.
> > >
> > > Incoming: A vase missile is coming in.
> > >
> > > Miming: Imitative vase.
> > >
> > > Slumming: Vase in a rundown urban area.
> > >
> > > Steming: Vase that is part of a plant.
> > >
> > > Terming: Vase that defines the limits of stays of
Congresspeople.
> >
> > Terminating: Bell that rings just before little ant things finish
eating
> > your house!
>
> Terminating: Bell that rings when a robot arrives from the future to
> wreck havoc.
GPO Engineering Instructions:
"When terminating a wire on a solder tag, the insulation should be up
to but
not touching the tag."
I was with them for 11 years. During that entire time, I never found
anyone
who could fathom out what "up to but not touching" meant!
Engineering: Worn by a Romany locomotive driver.
I assume that it means that the insulation should stop just short of the
wire.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BDD2B3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Adverse: A hostile song.
> >
> > Adversity: A hostile city.
> >
> > Converse: Singing criminal(s).
> >
> > Reverse: To sing again.
> >
> > Attract: What a train runs on.
> >
> > Contract: Criminal railroad.
> >
> > Retract: To go on the train again.
> >
> > Subtract: What subway trains run on.
> >
> > Subtract: A train underwater.
>
> Trample: Kid on roller-skates hanging on to the back of a railed
public
> transport vehicle.
Transport: To play n many sports.
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
> was sent this:
> A stuntman complained that he couldn't decide whether to buy a bike
> with a high top speed and poor acceleration, or one with lots of torque
> and fast acceleration, but a poor top speed. Eventually he decided on
> the second one, because it cost a lot less. After all, torque is cheap.
Costing: Expensive bell.
Curate: Price of medical care.
Serrate: Price of a knight.
Tim Bruening
University: A city as big as the universe.
(H Cubed)x8x(O Cubed): Formula of an ice cube.
Algebra: A bra made of algae, good at math.
Alternity: A tea which allows you to alter your form.
Bobby: A bee which bobs up and down.
Tim Bruening
Kiddy: Young demon.
Middie: Demons in the Navy.
Quaddie: 1/4th of a demon.
Skiddie: A sliding demon.
nemo
>
> Foresaw: In favor of cutting down trees.
>
> Foresee: In favor of oceans.
>
> Format: In favor of the martial arts.
>
> Fortress: In favor of dresses.
Or lox.
nemo
>
> Boozer: Drunk knight.
>
> Hooser: Owl knight.
>
> Looser: Knight escape artist.
>
> Loser: Defeated knight.
Was he stumped?
nemo
> Boarding: Wooden bell.
>
> Compounding: Bell at a computerized dog pound.
>
> Dating: Calender bell.
>
> Dating: Romance bell.
>
> Dating: Fruit bell.
>
> Dating: Bell that only rings in the daytime.
Alarm Cock! To frighten your willie!
nemo
> > >
> > >
> > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Subdue: Underwater postage stamp.
> > > >
> > > > Gunman: Man with a gun for a head.
> > >
> > > Handgun: To have a gun for a hand.
> > >
> > Pistol: A gun kept in a Urinal.
>
> Grenada: Father of a hand thrown explosive.
>
>
> Pan Nick: Easily scared man.
>
> Son Nick: Noisy man.
Son Nick Boom: The spar sticking out of the front of his supersonic sailing
ship.
nemo
> Harry Farkas wrote:
>
> > Purloin: The meaty part on the back of a cat.
>
> Purmit: Cat glove.
>
> Barking: Canine monarch.
. . . who's always drunk?
nemo
>
> Fisher: Marine knight.
>
> Refresher: Cleaning knight.
>
> Vanisher: Disappearing knight.
>
> Varnisher: Furniture knight.
French Polisher: Person confused about their country of origin.
nemo
>
> Boozing: Singing ghost.
>
> Hosing: Singing hooker.
>
> Losing: Singing toilet.
Aha! Cistern-matic music!
nemo
>
> Hubble: A bull that sees far into the heavens.
>
> Kabul: Afghan bull.
>
> Rubble: A bull that's gone to pieces.
Barney Rubble: The remains of a pre-historic farm buildng that's gone to
pieces.
nemo
But then it's not *up to* the tag! And when it is up to the tag, then it's
touching!
And the wire had to go 2, 7/8 times around the tag as well!
All the managers and executives were Masonic ex- military types in those
days. Probably explains such stupidity!
nemo
Rabbits?
nemo
Praps it's getting rid of worms!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424E595E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB5D5FA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Subdue: Underwater postage stamp.
> > > > >
> > > > > Gunman: Man with a gun for a head.
> > > >
> > > > Handgun: To have a gun for a hand.
> > > >
> > > Pistol: A gun kept in a Urinal.
> >
> > Grenada: Father of a hand thrown explosive.
> >
> >
> Grenada: Instruction to someone to smile more intensely.
Goldy: Yellow demon.
Goldy: Demon made of Element 79.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Mason Nick: Brick layer.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:424E595E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Mason Nick: Brick layer.
hones...@centurytel.net
Foo
Tim Bruening
nemo
>
> University: A city as big as the universe.
>
> (H Cubed)x8x(O Cubed): Formula of an ice cube.
Iyyyyyyyyyyyyy thought the formula of an ice cube was just H2O.
> Algebra: A bra made of algae, good at math.
>
> Alternity: A tea which allows you to alter your form.
>
> Bobby: A bee which bobs up and down.
. . or a drowning police occifer.