Re: 3/12 Puns
Tim Bruening
Cable: Wiry male bovine that can transmit information or move mass
transit vehicles.
Cancer: Knight in a metal cylindrical container.
Cancel: Small metal cylindrical container.
Canteen: Small metal cylindrical container between 12 and 20.
Carpal: Automoble friend. Carpel: Grants in an automobile.
Tim Bruening
Cobble: Male bovine street stones.
Cobra: Female snake apparel.
Coda: Father in a co-op.
Concern: Against a European particle accelerator.
Concert: Against lifesavers.
Tim Bruening
Concur: Against dogs.
Corpus: Center of slime.
Countable: Royal table.
Dabble: Male bovine hobbyist.
Damson: Male offspring of a water barrier.
Tim Bruening
Deacon: Criminal religious leader.
Detour: Tour #4.
Dogma: Canine mother.
Durable: Long lived male bovine.
Enema: To clean out a Mom.
Tim Bruening
Equip: Internet joke.
Equity: Beverage that makes all men equal.
Espirit: Snake ghost.
Espy: Snake intelligence agent.
Esquire: Snake religious singing group.
Tim Bruening
Falcon: Criminal bird.
Foray: In favor of X-rays.
Galore: Female gold lode.
Gaiety, Gayety: Homosexual beverages.
Gamin: Male homosexuals.
Tim Bruening
Geico: Company that sells male insurers.
Gobble: Male bovine that eats a lot.
Hobble: Crippled male bovine.
Hubble: Far seeing male bovine.
Jetty: Airplane beverage.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:60V0e.95878$vK5....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> >
> > "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote
> > > Pol Pot: Poe for a parrot.
> > >
> > >
> > Pole Pot: Marijuana grown in Poland.
> >
> Aha! Gandzhah!
Warsaw on CNN in 2003!
Tim Bruening
"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> > Husky: Arctic dog key.
> >
> > Jerky: Key to a cad.
>
> Jetski: Polish form of Jetson (as in Hanna Barbera cartoon)
> >
> > Jetsam: When is your jet, Sam?
> >
> > Kisser: Knight in love.
> >
> > Monitor: Moluntain top that keeps watch.
> >
Jedi: Demon with the Force!
Tim Bruening
dfoofnik wrote:
> Greedy investors : a hedgehog fund
> un-Bear : a Bull
> Innocence : Rounding off to whole dollars
> Embezzlement : taking stock
>
> Wachovia has changed its name
> from Watch-ova-ya
> to Whack-ova-ya.
>
> Bradstreet : you'll be broker when we're Dun
Greedy: Demons who love money.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4243D16A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Harry Marmoset wrote:
> >
> > > Hear about the hand gun exhibitionist?
> > >
> > > He was showing everyone his Glock
> >
> > He was then fired for exposing himself.
>
> Was his surname Boocock?
Yes. Boocock is a ghost rooster.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:LlG%d.93563$vK5....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> >
> > "Frank McCoy" <mcc...@millcomm.com> wrote
> > > In alt.callahans "Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com>
wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >"nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote
> > > >>
> > > >> Me:
> > > >>
> > > >> I know many people think this is vice versa.
> > > >>
> > > >> The reason that there is confusion is because using 12 A.M. and
12
> P.M. is
> > > >> fundamentally wrong precisely because of the confusion it
causes.
> > > >>
> > > >> (Sir cum low cute shun!)
> > > >>
> > > >> In particular, 12 P.M. can't be correct because 12 Noon *is*
the
> meridiem,
> > > >> so how can it be past itself?
> > > >>
> > > >Old habits die hard. Logically, ante-meridian means "before
noon", and
> > > >hence the hours from midnight to noon should count down
backwards,
> > > >the post-meridian hours should count up, with noon being 0 hours
and
> > > >midnight 12 hours, midnight being both 12 hours before noon and
12
> > > >hours afternoon. But this is all nonsense, the solution is to
adopt the
> 24
> > > >hour clock and be done with it. Without trying to be rood, I'm
also an
> > > >advocate of the United States adopting the MKSA metric standard
and
> > > >doing away, once and for all, with the old English system,
relegating
> that
> > > >to myth magic and legend where it belongs, and to hectare with
all the
> > > >belly acres.
> > > >
> > > But even with the 24-hour-clock, we *still* get the anti-intuitive
> nonsense
> > > where 24:00 through 24:59 is *morning* of the next day.
> > >
> > > They STILL don't use 00:00 hours, which would make immeasurably
more
> sense!
> > > So don't go sneering at us, just because we have the problem twice
a day
> instead
> > > of only once like you do.
> > >
> > UTC, or "universal coordinated time" ( the reversal of t and c is
due to
> the French),
> > *does* use 0 hours, as does military Zulu time. 0 hours is midnight
and
> follows
> > 23h 59m 59.xx s. The first hour of the day is 0 hours and so many
minutes
> and
> > seconds. And no, I'm not sneering. The system works. I even like
people
> who
> > use sun dials, they're cool.
> >
> But if they're cool, it's cloudy and their sun dials ain't working.
>
> I like the one Blackadder has indoors by his bed. It strikes the hour
with a
> bell! Some technology for mediæval times.
How does a sundial work indoors?
Sundial: What the sun uses to wash its hands.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "The Lurch" <lurc...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> news:mWB0e.53014$c72....@bignews3.bellsouth.net...
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:42426C41...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > I've seen straight bills of lading at the Davis Enterprise, but I
have
> > > yet to see a homosexual bill of lading.
> > >
> > > I've heard tellers ask for straight deposits, but I've never heard
them
> > > ask for homosexual deposits.
> >
> > What do ya mean.....ya never heard of a deposit with a curved
interest
> rate?
> >
> Don't be Mean. Homosexuality is almost a Standard Deviation these
days!
Demean: Brutal demon.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Subplot: Underwater farm.
> >
> Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
still!!)
>
> Subarid: Underwater desert.
> Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
Subsahara: Underwater desert rabbits.
Tim Bruening
bc wrote:
> I'm a tailor and I do as I see fit.
Befit: Apine tailor.
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> I've never seen a pack of wolves. Cigarettes, yes. Wolves, no.
Have you ever seen a wolfish?
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Sat, 6 Mar 2004 23:34:36 -0800, "Jenni Saqua"
> <mara...@spam.netscape.net> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >"Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> >news:20040306173115.54c86b5d@WizardsTower...
> >> On Sat, 06 Mar 2004 10:06:32 -0800
> >> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> > On Sun, 7 Mar 2004 01:45:09 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> > <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating
about:
> >> >
> >> > >nemo wrote:
> >> > >> Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> >> > >> news:nts1c.7352$V%4.6...@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com...
> >> > >>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
> >> > >>>> Dr Tormento wrote:
> >> > >>>>
> >> > >>>>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in
> >> > >>>>> news:4045b98c$0$12760$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au:
> >> > >>>>>
> >> > >>>>>
> >> > >>>>>> My new bf is a landscape gardener..but all he wants me to
do in
> >> > >>>>>> bed is grown and mown. :-(
> >> > >>>>>
> >> > >>>>> So you're his hoe?
> >> > >>>>
> >> > >>>>
> >> > >>>> No, but I pick up his dirty lawn dry.
> >> > >>>>
> >> > >>>>
> >> > >>> He must be a gay blade!
> >> > >>
> >> > >> Careful. He might rapier!
> >> > >
> >> > > I will never foil in love :-(
> >> > >
> >> > She's just a parry girl until they dagger away.
> >> >
> >> Oh, who will saber from such a fate?
> >>
> >It's an old story... the spirit is willing, but the fleche is weak.
> >
> Sheil's constant man hunt makes a baudry point. <G> Any man who falls
for
> her, will epee!
How does she do that?
Constant: Ant that stays the same.
Tim Bruening
Admission: Build another church.
Commission and Emission: Electronic churchs.
Intermission: A break in the sermon.
Manumission: To set the church free.
Omission: We forgot to build the church!
Permission: Price to build a church.
Remission: To rebuild the church.
Submission: A church under the ocean.
Tim Bruening
Dogmatic: Its useless to argue with this tic-dog.
Drastic: Tic that takes desperate measures.
Ecstatic: Joyful tic.
Elastic: Tic that stretches.
Emphatic: Another tic that won't calm down.
Enigmatic: Tic that is hard to figure out.
Esthetic: Tic that appreciates art.
Fantastic: A very interesting tic.
Frantic: Tic that's always rushing around and feeling lots of stress.
Related to Drastic.
Tim Bruening
Cant: To put an ant in a bottle.
Disinfectant: Ant that kills germs.
Distant: Far away ant.
Elephant: Big ant with long nose.
Enchant: Ant witch.
Entrant: Ant in a contest.
Extant: Former ant.
Grant: 19th century ant general and President.
Habitant: Where the ants live.
Instant: Very fast ant.
Peasant: Ant farmer.
Quarant: Gay ant that's always asking questions.
Slant: Tilted ant.
Trance: Zonked out ants.
Tyrant: Ant dictator.
Vacant: Absent ant.
Tim Bruening
Randolf Richardson wrote:
> "Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >> On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these
> >> unused words floating about:
> >>> Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> >>> news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> >>>
> >>>> At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >>>
> >>> Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
> >>
> >> Carter explain?
> >
> > If you can a Ford the time.
> >
> > Did Nixon ever visit Dixon?
>
> Don't Grover do it now!
Did Nixon have a vixen?
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
> "Hauke Reddmann" <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
> news:cf7d8p$c8$2...@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> > P Stashio Nutz <pstash...@aol.comawnutz> wrote:
> > > In article <10hdnol...@corp.supernews.com>, "Michael
Balarama"
> > > <mba...@ev1.net> writes:
> >
> > >>
> > >>When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to
their
> > >>hospital:
> > >>
> > >>The Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists
preferred no
> rash
> > >>moves
> >
> > > But the Internists said they'd put some feelers out, and the
> Opthamologist said
> > > they'd look into it, while the Podiatrists agreed to foot the bill
since
> the
> > > Orthopedists found it to be a bone of contention.
> >
> > But the Proctologists just told them to take the whole project and
shove
> it!
>
> The Psychiatrists thought it was madness; the Surgeons decided to wash
their
> hands of the whole thing
The Surgeons voted to cut the project from the budget.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4299AE75...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> And the Guy No Collegists relented and decided to go to medical school after
> all, and the Obstinatricians vowed to try to be more agreeable in future.
Were the pediatricians de-feeted?
Tim Bruening
Randolf Richardson wrote:
> "Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > nemo wrote:
> >> O J <OJ...@pacbell.net> wrote in message
> >> news:f762809jdddjk7kmk...@4ax.com...
> >>> On Sat, 17 Apr, nemo wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> When he was Illiad a terrible time
> >>>>
> >>>> Who?
> >>>>
> >>>> 'im over there - Bill Oddie, see?
> >>>
> >>> Agamemnon stiffed Achilles out of a prize, namely a woman taken as
> >>> a spoil of war. This was covered in the first half of the Iliad.
> >>> Agamemnon, with the epithets used in the Greek to follow their name
> >>> became, "Agamemnon, Cheapest Among The Achaeans."
> >>
> >> I Agamemnon once, but it died. I used to listen to Achaeandrews on
> >> the wireless years ago too!
> >>
> >> (Bought 'em last year cheap from Softback Preview but haven't got
> >> roun dto readin 'em yet.)
> >
> > Cheapest: Inexpensive flea at a flea sale.
>
> Budapest can be very annoying (especially when you feel Hungary)!
Budapest: Flea that follows a pacifist Asian religion.
Tim Bruening
Accede: One baby plant.
Concede: Against baby plants.
Concede: Criminal baby plant or criminal farmer.
Recede: To plant crops again.
Succeed: To extract juices from seeds.
Tim Bruening
"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote
> >
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> > > Blood Ding: Chinese vampire.
> > >
> > > Fade Ding: Chinese growing fainter.
> > >
> > > Faint Ting: Chinese becoming unconscious.
> > >
> > > Indict Ting: Chinese grand jury.
> > >
> > > Loot Ting: Chinese thieves.
> > >
> > > Loo Ting: Chinese toilet maker.
> >
> > In Waa Tiym you can get shot for Loo Ting!
> >
> Kong Fu: martial art for large apes.
Hong Kong: Bell that recently rejoined China.
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:405BED7B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Static: Electric tic.
> >
> > Dramatic: Tic in a play.
> >
> > Lunatic: Insane tic.
> >
> > Ticker: Dog parasite.
> >
> > Fleecing: Singing parasite.
> >
> If crabs were part of creation, then Adam and Eve were lousy.
> That's why they had to Flea from Eden.
> Adam was heard to say, "That really bugged me."
> Eve said, "I think we both have something to crab about."
I thought that they were done in by a snake, not a crab.
Smitten: Snake glove.
Smutt: Snake dog.
Tim Bruening
Sassy: Ocean that speaks up.
Saudi: Middle East demon with lots of oil.
Scabby: Apine strike breaker.
Shanty: Tea in a slum.
Tipsy: Alcoholic ocean.
Tipsy: Ocean of money for waiters.
Tim Bruening
Ropy: Line of toilets.
Rosy: Line of oceans.
Rosy: Ocean of love flowers.
Sandy: Beach demon.
San D: Latino demon.
Tim Bruening
Opine: Fat tree.
Opine: Tree that offer comments on political issues.
Posy: Ocean of tall cylindrical objects.
Rusty: Iron oxide tea.
Rejuvenator: Arnold Schwarzenegger energizing people.
Tim Bruening
Cubit: Computer programs in line.
Curtsy: Canine ocean.
Cutest: Waiting in line to take an exam.
Debase: Where demon troops are housed.
Tim Bruening
Cavity: Tea that rots teeth.
Chantey: Tea that makes you sing.
Classy: School in the ocean.
Constancy: Loyal ocean.
Cozy: Comfortable ocean.
Tim Bruening
Boozy: Drunk ocean.
Brassy: Metallic ocean.
Busby: Mass transit apine.
Cabby: Taxi apine.
Candy: Demon in a cylindrical container.
Candy: Sweet demon.
Tim Bruening
Bandy: To forbid demons.
Bandy: Musical demons.
Bawdy: Rancious demon.
Blabby: Tattletale apine.
Booby: Ghost apine.
Tim Bruening
"Bill Colmers" <sambo...@whatever.ca> wrote in message
news:<c9ihuc$j12$1...@tabloid.srv.ualberta.ca>...
> "Wm..." <tcn...@blackhole.do-not-spam.me.uk> wrote in message
> news:BFIRYwH2KIvAFwCq@[127.0.0.1]...
> >>
> > Ponder: do any fish have hair?
>
> Sticklebacks have a "Mohawk", does that count?
Those fish have Indians on their backs?
Mohawk: An increase in the hawk population.
Olympus: Greek God cats.
Tim Bruening
lord...@aol.com (LORDZEVRA) wrote in message
news:<20041004011212...@mb-m03.aol.com>...
> >Tim Bruening wrote:
> (much snippage)
> >> then you forgot to put out a line of coke.
> >
> >Why should I have put out a line of coke?
>
> A1. So you could get rich and famous and stop posting here?
> A2. So you could have your way with all the models who want to be in the ads
> for your new line of coke?
> A3. So you can tell who's already stoned and save the real stuff for your
> freinds?
> A4. If you put out a "line of Pepsi" it gives you so little to work with -
> unless you understand the French Canadien mentality in which case, it's funny
> again!
>
> Pepsi, work; geez I crack me right up!
Pepsi: Ocean that perks you up. It has Peptides.
Perking: Price of a male monarch.
Perker: Price of a dog.
Tim Bruening
Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:<vuutm0hr2aja7l47f...@4ax.com>...
> On Thu, 14 Oct 2004 18:09:25 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
>
> >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> >>> Anyone remember "stagflation"?
> >>
> >> That the year when them male deer grew really, really big?
> >
> >Can't say I've studied young bucks the way you have....
>
> <spits tobacky juice> Y'all ain't no hunter, is ya, sissy boy?
Stagnation: Country of male deer.
Tim Bruening
Foolcow wrote:
> On Thu, 14 Oct 2004 21:36:26 -0700, Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> > When a fly runs for its life, is it FLEEING?
>
> If a fly RUNS for its life, it is not using its motory organs effectively.
>
> A fly that runs for its life is retarded.
Motory: An increase in British Conservatives.
Pumpkin: Relatives of the well.
Columbus: Mass transit vehicle that went off course and reached a
Caribbean island instead of India.
Tim Bruening
UN Coins: Objects that aren't metallic money.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Where they got the equipmant from in those days I've no eye deer.
>
> Anyway, it stars Victor Ma Chewer and Richard gone-for-a Burton and it's
> about a refuse collector turned flower seller:
>
> Detritus and the Gladiolas.
No Eye Deer: Blind deer.
Tim Bruening
Pasty: Tea that glues.
Typer: Price for neckwear.
Typeface: Face with printing on it.
Tim Bruening
mike wheeEler wrote:
> In article <MzNsb.107886$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >
> >
> >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >> Subplot: Underwater farm.
> >>
> >Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
still!!)
> >
> >Subarid: Underwater desert.
> >Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> >Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
> >
> Subcranial: less than lofty thoughts
Subconscious: Aware underwater.
Tim Bruening
Cronkite: A flying anchor.
Glancing: Singing and looking.
Looking: King of eyes.
Boil Ling: Chinese at 212 degrees.
Convert: Green criminal.
Divert: Green die.
Invert: Green hotel.
Revert: Turn green again.
Tim Bruening
Palema wrote:
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:402B0F72...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >>Betty: Tea drunk by gamblers.
> >>
> >>Catty: Feline tea.
> >>
> >>Fatty: Tea that makes you fat.
> >>
> >>Gutty: Tea from guts.
> >>
> >>Pebble: Small rocky bull.
> >
> >
> > Gravel: Hammer used by a stoned Chairman, Judge or Auctionear.
> >
> >
> In the Stone-Age they took that for granite.
Granite: Finding small faults in stone.
Tim Bruening
Palema wrote:
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:402B0F85...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >>Agency: Sea of government departments and boards.
> >>
> >>Company: Computerized cooking container on your knee.
> >>
> >>Exaggerate: Price of enlargements.
> >>
> >>Pico: Very small pie company.
> >
> >
> > Nano: Very small English baby-minder.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> I Hawaii, they catch the crook in a Dano-second!
Mexico: Company that makes Mexis.
Timex: Mexican watch.
Tim Bruening
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Homing: Vase of a hooker.
Grooming: Male vase that's about to get married.
Rooming: Vase for a genie.
Warming: Aggressive vase.
Warming: Hot vase.
Tim Bruening
March of Dimes: 10 cents in the 3rd month.
Maybe: Bee in the 5th month.
Macing: 5th month song.
Maker: Dog in the 5th month.
Maiming: Chinese vase in the 5th month.
Mason: Male offspring in the 5th month.
Mating: Bell in the 5th month.
June: Why is there never a Junetag sale?
July: Why did July about Iraq, President Bush?
August: Wind in the 8th month.
Tim Bruening
Babble: Cross between a sheep and a male cow.
Dabble: Bull that just sticks its hand in the game.
Rubble: A ruined bull.
Stubble: Bull with a very short beard.
Gable: Homosexual bull.
Tim Bruening
Hubble: Very far seeing bull.
Pebble: Small rocky bull.
Bullwrinkle: Old bull.
Bullrush: Fast bull.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FB87904...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB5CD00...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Subway: Underwater philosophy.
> > > >
> > > Subterraneon: Underground hiding place of terrorists who blow up
> flourescent
> > > shop signs and ads.
> >
> > Subspace: The area beneath.
> >
> Sub's Pace: About 5 Knots underwater and 10 on the surface.
Subpar: Underwater golf.
Subscript: Writing on a submarine.
Tim Bruening
Kathy wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> news:4lCQb.113120$Es.5...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > Dead rodent: Mouseover.
> >
> Dead chameleon: A hang while running the install lizard.
Dead lizard: No more color monitor.
Dead duck: No more download.
Tim Bruening
Cable: Wiry male bovine that can transmit information or move mass
transit vehicles.
Cancer: Knight in a metal cylindrical container.
Cancel: Small metal cylindrical container.
Canteen: Small metal cylindrical container between 12 and 20.
Carpal: Automoble friend. Carpel: Grants in an automobile.
Tim Bruening
Cobble: Male bovine street stones.
Cobra: Female snake apparel.
Coda: Father in a co-op.
Concern: Against a European particle accelerator.
Concert: Against lifesavers.
Tim Bruening
Concur: Against dogs.
Corpus: Center of slime.
Countable: Royal table.
Dabble: Male bovine hobbyist.
Damson: Male offspring of a water barrier.
Tim Bruening
Deacon: Criminal religious leader.
Detour: Tour #4.
Dogma: Canine mother.
Durable: Long lived male bovine.
Enema: To clean out a Mom.
Tim Bruening
Equip: Internet joke.
Equity: Beverage that makes all men equal.
Espirit: Snake ghost.
Espy: Snake intelligence agent.
Esquire: Snake religious singing group.
Tim Bruening
Falcon: Criminal bird.
Foray: In favor of X-rays.
Galore: Female gold lode.
Gaiety, Gayety: Homosexual beverages.
Gamin: Male homosexuals.
nemo
Caramelite: I kind of monk who likes toffees.
nemo
Confluence: Agaist hypnotists who perform at the junctions in rivers.
nemo
That's plum crazy - and it's no quincedence that a lot of the stuff on here
is as well!
nemo
Narr. It's someone who hates you coming after you with a great big syringe!
nemo
What do they sing? The Hissssa Solemnis?
nemo
Small lost homeless ones?
Tim Bruening
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:405BED7B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Static: Electric tic.
> >
> > Dramatic: Tic in a play.
> >
> > Lunatic: Insane tic.
> >
> > Ticker: Dog parasite.
> >
> > Fleecing: Singing parasite.
> >
> If crabs were part of creation, then Adam and Eve were lousy.
> That's why they had to Flea from Eden.
> Adam was heard to say, "That really bugged me."
> Eve said, "I think we both have something to crab about."
I thought that they were done in by a snake, not a crab.
Smitten: Snake glove.
Smutt: Snake dog.
Drui-Dick: Pagan penis.
Dyna-Mick: Energetic Irish man.
Edu-Kate: Woman school teacher.
Hispan-Nick: Man from Latin America.
Tim Bruening
Cavity: Tea that rots teeth.
Chantey: Tea that makes you sing.
Classy: School in the ocean.
Constancy: Loyal ocean.
Cozy: Comfortable ocean.
Tim Bruening
Larry Krzewinski <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
news:<vuutm0hr2aja7l47f...@4ax.com>...
> On Thu, 14 Oct 2004 18:09:25 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
>
> >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> >>> Anyone remember "stagflation"?
> >>
> >> That the year when them male deer grew really, really big?
> >
> >Can't say I've studied young bucks the way you have....
>
> <spits tobacky juice> Y'all ain't no hunter, is ya, sissy boy?
Stagnation: Country of male deer.
Tim Bruening
Foolcow wrote:
> On Thu, 14 Oct 2004 21:36:26 -0700, Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> > When a fly runs for its life, is it FLEEING?
>
> If a fly RUNS for its life, it is not using its motory organs effectively.
>
> A fly that runs for its life is retarded.
Motory: An increase in British Conservatives.
Pumpkin: Relatives of the well.
Columbus: Mass transit vehicle that went off course and reached a
Caribbean island instead of India.
Tim Bruening
UN Coins: Objects that aren't metallic money.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Where they got the equipmant from in those days I've no eye deer.
>
> Anyway, it stars Victor Ma Chewer and Richard gone-for-a Burton and it's
> about a refuse collector turned flower seller:
>
> Detritus and the Gladiolas.
No Eye Deer: Blind deer.
Tim Bruening
Pasty: Tea that glues.
Typer: Price for neckwear.
Typeface: Face with printing on it.
Tim Bruening
mike wheeEler wrote:
> In article <MzNsb.107886$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >
> >
> >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >news:3FB326AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >> Subplot: Underwater farm.
> >>
> >Subaerial: Works at Ultra Low Frequency. (Shhhhhhhhhh. Top secret
still!!)
> >
> >Subarid: Underwater desert.
> >Subbing: Sings lower than Crosby.
> >Subcranial: Pertianing to underwater lifting gear.
> >
> Subcranial: less than lofty thoughts
Subconscious: Aware underwater.
Tim Bruening
Cronkite: A flying anchor.
Glancing: Singing and looking.
Looking: King of eyes.
Boil Ling: Chinese at 212 degrees.
Convert: Green criminal.
Divert: Green die.
Invert: Green hotel.
Revert: Turn green again.
Tim Bruening
Palema wrote:
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:402B0F72...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >>Betty: Tea drunk by gamblers.
> >>
> >>Catty: Feline tea.
> >>
> >>Fatty: Tea that makes you fat.
> >>
> >>Gutty: Tea from guts.
> >>
> >>Pebble: Small rocky bull.
> >
> >
> > Gravel: Hammer used by a stoned Chairman, Judge or Auctionear.
> >
> >
> In the Stone-Age they took that for granite.
Granite: Finding small faults in stone.
Tim Bruening
Palema wrote:
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:402B0F85...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >>Agency: Sea of government departments and boards.
> >>
> >>Company: Computerized cooking container on your knee.
> >>
> >>Exaggerate: Price of enlargements.
> >>
> >>Pico: Very small pie company.
> >
> >
> > Nano: Very small English baby-minder.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> I Hawaii, they catch the crook in a Dano-second!
Mexico: Company that makes Mexis.
Timex: Mexican watch.
Tim Bruening
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Homing: Vase of a hooker.
Grooming: Male vase that's about to get married.
Rooming: Vase for a genie.
Warming: Aggressive vase.
Warming: Hot vase.
Tim Bruening
March of Dimes: 10 cents in the 3rd month.
Maybe: Bee in the 5th month.
Macing: 5th month song.
Maker: Dog in the 5th month.
Maiming: Chinese vase in the 5th month.
Mason: Male offspring in the 5th month.
Mating: Bell in the 5th month.
June: Why is there never a Junetag sale?
July: Why did July about Iraq, President Bush?
August: Wind in the 8th month.
Tim Bruening
Babble: Cross between a sheep and a male cow.
Dabble: Bull that just sticks its hand in the game.
Rubble: A ruined bull.
Stubble: Bull with a very short beard.
Gable: Homosexual bull.
Tim Bruening
Hubble: Very far seeing bull.
Pebble: Small rocky bull.
Bullwrinkle: Old bull.
Bullrush: Fast bull.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:3FB87904...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FB5CD00...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Subway: Underwater philosophy.
> > > >
> > > Subterraneon: Underground hiding place of terrorists who blow up
> flourescent
> > > shop signs and ads.
> >
> > Subspace: The area beneath.
> >
> Sub's Pace: About 5 Knots underwater and 10 on the surface.
Subpar: Underwater golf.
Subscript: Writing on a submarine.
Tim Bruening
Kathy wrote:
> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> news:4lCQb.113120$Es.5...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > Dead rodent: Mouseover.
> >
> Dead chameleon: A hang while running the install lizard.
Dead lizard: No more color monitor.
Dead duck: No more download.
nemo
Or a warm Marx Bros. film. (Ain't got this one yet.)
http://www.whyaduck.com/sounds/cosi-cosa.htm
nemo
Buckyballs: Part of the rear view of a stag.
http://www.science.org.au/nova/024/024key.htm
Quite a few puns here too!
nemo
Its owner asking his wife to take it out on a rope for some exercise: Pull
the blind deer!
nemo
Thetas what you see on kids too intelligent and/or snobbish for ordinary
face-painting.
nemo
Revert Hames: To become London's river again!
nemo
Longines: Posh watches for very tall guys who wear Levis.
Rolex: Name of a nasty ache in the lower extremities you can get through
propelling a boat via oars for far too long.
nemo
Dead DUKW: No more driving from the sea straight up the beach.
Tim Bruening
D. troit: Demon that makes cars.
G. Mac: Goblin that makes cars.
V. W: Vampire that makes cars.
Falcon: Criminal bird.
Foray: In favor of X-rays.
Galore: Female gold lode.
Gaiety, Gayety: Homosexual beverage.
Gamin: Male homosexuals.
nemo
Gamin Bacon: Smoked meat from homeless pigs who have been abandoned and roam
the streets.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Where they got the equipmant from in those days I've no eye deer.
>
> Anyway, it stars Victor Ma Chewer and Richard gone-for-a Burton and it's
> about a refuse collector turned flower seller:
>
> Detritus and the Gladiolas.
No Eye Deer: Blind deer.
UN Coins: Objects that aren't metallic money.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Dead Line: A line that kills.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Dead Lock: A lock that kills.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Dead Line: A line that kills.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Dead Lock: A lock that kills.
nemo
Dread Lock: A lock (heaven forbid) that kills Rastafarians.
nemo
And yet a dead lion no longer does!
nemo
> Hasty: Tea drunk fast.
>
> Pasty: Tea that glues.
>
> Typer: Price for neckwear.
>
> Typeface: Face with printing on it.
Fount of all knowledge: Typeface used in the biggest encyclop�dia ever.
Encyclop�dia Gigantica!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4B0737D9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> >> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >> news:44E8EFAB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > Kathy wrote:
> >> >
> >> > > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> >> > > news:4lCQb.113120$Es.5...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >> > > > Dead rodent: Mouseover.
> >> > > >
> >> > > Dead chameleon: A hang while running the install lizard.
> >> >
> >> > Dead lizard: No more color monitor.
> >> >
> >> > Dead duck: No more download.
> >>
> >> Dead DUKW: No more driving from the sea straight up the beach.
> >
> > Dead Lock: A lock that kills.
>
> Dread Lock: A lock (heaven forbid) that kills Rastafarians.
Time Lock: Lock that travels in time.
Nemo
> Hasty: Tea drunk fast.
>
> Pasty: Tea that glues.
>
> Typer: Price for neckwear.
>
> Typeface: Face with printing on it.
Hence the eggs pression: "Look! It's written all over his face!"
Fontainebleau: The typeface is any colour other than the fifth colour of the
spectrum or the first colour of the GPO/POC/BT wire colour code - if they
still use it.