5 July Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41539F54...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Able: One bull.
> >
> > Double: Two bulls.
> >
> > Parable: Two more bulls.
> >
> > Treble: Three bulls.
> >
> > Noble: Zero bulls.
> >
> > Label: Sex with a bull.
> >
> > Labor: Sex with a wild pig.
> >
> > Bearable: To be pregnant with a baby bull.
>
> <Oyster alert!>
> Intollerable: Male cow wearing a prayer-shawl.
Mutant: Cow/ant.
Tim Bruening
Analog: Arse of a fallen tree.
Bidden: Home of an auction.
Cancel: Where cans are jailed.
Catalog: Feline fallen tree.
Ceding: Musical ocean.
Tim Bruening
Chaotic: Disorganized tick.
Coagulant: Ant that clots blood.
Coolant: Hip ant.
Dialog: Colored fallen tree.
Dialog: Fallen soap tree.
Tim Bruening
Engulf: Where Ns swim.
Enigma: Mom of a mysterious N.
Epilogue: End of a fallen tree story.
Epitome: Book about holes in the Internet.
Ermine: Where ers are dug up.
Tim Bruening
Hellion: Big cat in Hell.
Helming: Chinese vase in Hell.
Hobo: Neck decoration of a hooker.
Hocking: King of pawn shops.
Holey: Korean hooker.
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:405CAEA1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> > > news:simwah-156D6A....@netnews.attbi.com...
> > > > In article <vecjov4r8et97gk0e...@4ax.com>,
> > > > Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Hindu-Swiss cheese: Holey Cow!
> > > >
> > > > I get my holey cheese from the Dairy Llama.
> > > > --
> > > Which cheese to chose probably puts you on the horns of a Dalai Lama.
> > >
> > > (He's Buddhist BTW, not Hindu.)
> >
> > Emu: Cow on the Internet.
> >
> >
> Spam: Ground pig on the internet.
> Coward: Going toward old Bossie.
Spamming: Ground pig in a Chinese vase.
Coward: A bovine political division in Vacaville.
Tim Bruening
Converse: Song about tennis shoes..
Converse: Song by or about criminals.
Adverse: Mathematical song.
Adverse: What they call the german who got the lowest score in math.
Adversity: What they call the german town that got the lowest score in
math.
Converse: What they call the german who's rated "the worse confidence
man".
Reverse: To sing again (actually to "...back up to the last chorus and
sing again").
Attract: The answer an indian gave to the question "Where's the train?"
Contract: What Godzilla ate at the Mexican restaurant (Chili Con tract)
Retract: To replace old railroad tracks.
Subtract: What underwater bloodhounds do to find lost submarines.
Engineers: What Native Americans hear with.
Tim Bruening
Jerking: Obnoxious king.
Jerking: Masterbation king. Brother of Yanking and Wanking.
Masking: King of many faces.
Pecking: King who pokes holes in wood.
Pecking: King of sex.
Tim Bruening
Stalking: A procrastinating king.
Stoking: King tending a fire.
Streaking: Nude king.
Striking: King on a union picket line.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43223119...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On Tue, 20 Apr 2004 08:11:15 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> > > <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> HEY! What did I ever do to you to deserve this treatment?
> > > >
> > > >Got a spare hour? Just peruse the Google newsgroup archives...
> > > >:-)
> > >
> > > I didn't think you could answer with specifics.
> >
> > Peruse: Price of a trick.
>
> Periwinkle: Price of an online mollusc or naughty bit.
Naughty: Tea that makes one misbehave.
Tim Bruening
Oinkment: Complementary (complimentary?) hand creme in bathroom of pig
motel.
Ole-Factory: A factory that manufactures perfumes, or a factory
constructed long ago.
Perfume: Unit of pricing of pollution.
Perfume: Unit of pricing of anger.
Tim Bruening
Right Guard: One who protects stadium attendees from
football players in need of deodorant...
Left Guard: One who protects corporations from liberals and communists.
Deodorant: A sweet smelling ant.
Spearmint: Pointed gum.
Peppermint: Gum that makes you sneeze.
Shakespeare: Weapon held by a nervous soldier.
nemo
Catalogue: Fallen feline/ovine tree.
nemo
There's a soap *plant* you can rub between your hands with some water to
wash them. It was on one of those survival programmes.
Survival: Extremely durable knight.
nemo
Whose what?
Could be one owned by a female, as opposed to hismine?
nemo
That's a tall tail, like on the rear end of a frightened cat!
You think I'm joking?
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=coward
Curtail: Seen *under* the rear end of a frightened dog!
nemo
Gregory Pecker: Horny film star and the siggy of a twit who used to post
very naughty stuff indeed! He disappeared some time ago so he's probably in
gaol.
nemo
Makes your 'one' misbehave 2?
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nemo
Expensive on it was. It cost 500 Tallis!
>
> Mutant: Cow/ant.
After a $500 Tallis appearing, praps that should be a Cow/hen!
nemo
In Amurrikeh or in the United King-dong?
nemo
Not one of these famous Ground hogs then?
>
> Coward: A bovine political division in Vacaville.
Hearo! Someone with very courageous auricular equipment!
You could pinna medal on eem anytime!
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
The MPs all fiddling has sort of died down,
But now poor old Gordon looks like a Brown clown!!
nemo
Yers. And they hung a Korean cooker up next to Jesus and he turned to it and
said, "I don't like your holeyer-than-thou attitude!"
It got crucified because it belonged to the Roman boss-man around there and
its Pilate light kept going out!
nemo
Except ers is Middle English for arse - so ice up hose (brrr!) they found
them at the *bottom* of the pit!
Arse is English English for your ass, and you can bet it on that! :o)
nemo
There's a Soap Bush.
It's N A K Ca. You rub the leaves B tween your wet hands and the soapy sap
bubbles up and cleans them! It's lather handy!
nemo
Suck Ceding: All the water has been vacuumed up - suck cessfully - which
means including the sewage at the bottom and *from* the bottom!
Tim Bruening
headdr wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:405CAEA1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> > > news:simwah-156D6A....@netnews.attbi.com...
> > > > In article <vecjov4r8et97gk0e...@4ax.com>,
> > > > Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Hindu-Swiss cheese: Holey Cow!
> > > >
> > > > I get my holey cheese from the Dairy Llama.
> > > > --
> > > Which cheese to chose probably puts you on the horns of a Dalai Lama.
> > >
> > > (He's Buddhist BTW, not Hindu.)
> >
> > Emu: Cow on the Internet.
> >
> >
> Spam: Ground pig on the internet.
> Coward: Going toward old Bossie.
Spamming: Ground pig in a Chinese vase.
Coward: A bovine political division in Vacaville.
Tim Bruening
nemo
Where's Vacaville? Anywhere near Vrontaville?