All The Words, Volume 1, extended index
Raymond Chen
but if you don't know the name of the sketch, that doesn't help you much.
Here's an index of Volume 1 listed by everything I could think of.
Character name, lines you remember ("No. Try again"), significant
events, whatever.
Items with "*" in column 1 are cross-references. The actual entry can
be found by looking up the word in <angle brackets>. For example,
*Ken <Buddha>; <Clean-air Systems>; <Dove>; <Shabby>; <Voyeur>
means that you should look under "Buddha, Ken" or "Clean-air Systems, Ken"
etc., as appropriate.
(Unsolicited endorsement: Buy the book. Not only do you get 300+
pages of endless fun, but you're also supporting our favorite group of
madcap comedians. I won't tell the story about the guy who posted
MP scripts to rec.humor and got a phone call from MPFC lawyers...)
---
A, Mr: 55
abattoir flats: 220
Abdul: 282
Acapulco: 135
accidents sketch: 240
accountant: 82
acting in a trench: 313
acting on boxes: 313
Ada's Snack Bar: 109
`Adopt, adapt, and improve': 122
advertisements, cinema: 166
after-shave, purchasing: 231
Agatha Christie sketch (there's been a murder): 137, 140
Agro, Mrs Sybil: 132
*Air Chief Marshal Sir Vincent `Kill the Japs' <Forster>
airline stewardess: 210
Air-Vent, Mrs Nellie: 245
albatross sketch: 167
`Albatross!': 168, 168, 168
albatross: 172
`Albatross!': 175
*Albert <Spim>
`Aldis Lamp, Julius Caesar on': 200
Aldridge, Arthur, Late: 30
Aldridge, Arthur: 26
Aldrin, Buzz: 234
Alexander the Great: 174
Algy: 134
*Ali <Bayan>
all-in cricket: 142
`Allow me to introduce myself': 137
Alphonse: 261
*Amazing <Kargol>, The
Ames, Leslie: 267
`An Apology': 234
Anchovy, Mr: 124
`And did those feet in ancient time walk upon England's mountains green':
49, 101
`And did those teeth in ancient time walk upon England's mountains green':
42
`And now a nice version of that same sketch': 286
`And now for something completely different' (by Gumbys): 234
`And now for something completely different, I didn't say': 249
`And now for something completely different': 17, 109, 112, 117, 178, 192,
205, 205, 220, 265, 294, 315
`And now, Radio 4 will explode': 303
`And of course, there'll be sport': 279
Anderson, Bailie: 292
Andromeda (galaxy), planet Skyron: 88
Anemone, Mr: 207
*Angus <Podgorny>
animals, as librarians: 130
animals, eating each other (animation): 135
Anka, Mr and Mrs P.: 291
Anka, Paul: 317
`Another straight man': 224
`Ant, an introduction, The': 109
*Anthony <Viney>
anthrax ripple: 73
apartment design sketch: 220
apology, from BBC, about previous sketch: 234
apology, from BBC, for poor quality of announcement: 73
apology, from BBC, for poor quality of writing: 231
apology, from BBC, for repetition: 230, 230
apology, from BBC, for the following announcement: 223
apology, from BBC, for the next announcement: 220
appeal for sanity: 282
`Appeal on Behalf of the National Trust, An': 283
*April <Simnel>
*Arabella <Plunkett>
Arabs throwing people into the river: 252
`Archaeology Today': 279
architects sketch: 220
Argument, `Is/Isn't': 208, 317
Argument, `Wilkins/Robertson': 147
army protection racket: 97
army, quitting (too dangerous): 96
army: 11
Arnold, P. P.: 283
art critic, eating art: 43
art critic, the place of the nude: 99
art, eating: 42
art gallery sketch: 42
*Arthur <Aldridge>; <Belling>; <Ewing>; <Figgis>; <Frampton>; <Gormanstrop>,
Brigadier (Mrs); <Jackson>; <Lemming>; <Name>; <Pewty>; <Piranha>;
<Tree>; `Two Sheds' <Jackson>; <Waring>
Arthur X: 270
Ataturk, Kemal: 317
Atilla the Bun: 271
Atilla the Hun (really, Alexander the Great): 173
`Atilla the Hun Show': 264
Atilla the Nun: 265
Atkinson, Trevor: 171
audit, the: 82
*Audrey <Equator>
automobile insurance sketch: 223
Award, Rubber Mac of Zurich: 116
Axis Caf\'e: 152
Aztec god: 135
B, Mrs: 55
bad temper, precision display: 299
bag over head (upon hearing `mattress'): 100
Bailey, Pearl: 282
Baldwin, Michael: 295
Baldwin, Mrs Stanley: 288
Baldwin, Stanley: 189
bale of hay, landing in: 212
BALPA man, pointing out inaccuracies: 209
BALPA man: 214, 216
bananas, defending against: 46
Bandit: 71
Bank manager: 272
bank robber in lingerie shop: 121
barber, homicidal: 112, 116
Barnard, Christian: 302
Barnes, Mr: 206
barrister: 33
Bartcowitz, Peaches: 89
Bartlett, Mr: 30
Barton, Dick (theme music): 171, 204
*Basil <Cassidy> (the sheep)
Batley Townswomen's Guild: 146, 302
Battle of Pearl Harbour, recreation: 145
Battle of Trafalgar: 145
Baxter, Raymond: 8, 267
Bayan, Ali (stark raving mad): 141
Bazooka: 53
BBC man: 231
BBC rope: 161
BBC world symbol: 185, 229, 235, 249, 279
BDA: 51
beach, aristocrat at: 49
beach, changing at the: 44
bed, two people in: 132
Beethoven, Mrs: 288
Beethoven, trying to compose fifth symphony: 288
behavioural psychotherapy: 222
Belling, Reverend Arthur: 282
`Bells of St. Mary's, The': 19
Bergson, Henri: 276, 277
Beryl: 173
*Betty <Teal>, Mrs
Bevis: 63, 114
bickering, pointless: 208
Bicycle Choir, Rachel Toovey: 141
bicycle repair man: 33
bicycling, and painting: 6, 8
Big Cheese: 53
Bigbottie, Ivor: 139
Biggles, Cardinal: 192, 197, 203
Biggles: 134
Bignall, Mary: 136
Bimmler, Mr: 150
`Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong': 307
bird hunting film: 117
Bishop of East Anglia: 250
Bishop of Woolwich: 229
*bishop, <rehearsing>
`Bishop, The': 225, 230
`Blackmail': 235
blancmange, man-eating: 90
blancmange, tennis-playing: 92
Blenkinsop, Jimmy: 111
Bletchley, refreshment room at: 116
Bolton, lover in: 235
Bolton: 106
bonhomie, general spirit of: 211
Boniface, Mr: 218
`Book of the Month Club': 254
bookshop: 49
Booth, Connie: 114, 159, 246
Booth, Webster: 253
Bosanquet, Reginald: 267
Boskovitch: 306
Boss: 69
botty: 231
Bournemouth Gynaecologists (soccer team): 319
boxer, knocking out Florence Nightingale: 169
boxer, knocking out Leapy Lee: 283
boxer, knocking out nun: 286
boxer sketch: 244
Bradshaw, Inspector Elizabeth: 250
Brainsample, Mr and Mrs Samuel: 84, 94
Brando, M. (bank manager): 272
Brando, Mrs: 121
Brandt, Herr Willi: 302
Braque, Georges: 9
Brazilian dagger: 241
`Breaks the ice at parties': 195
Bremner, Billy: 185
*Brian <Distel>; <Equator>; <Stoats>; <Trubshawe>
*Brianette <Zatapathique>
Brian: 53, 275
bride: 102
brigade, Joke: 12
*Brigadier Mainwaring <Smith Smith Smith etc.>; Zoe <La Rue> (deceased)
*British Airline Pilots Association (<BALPA>)
British Dental Association: 51
Bronowski, Dr: 304
Bront\"e, Emily: 198
Brook-Hampster, Gervaise: 156
Brooky: 239, 242
Brown, Arthur: 111
Bruces (philosophers): 294
Brummond-Haye, Anneley: 279
`Buckets of Blood Pouring Out of People's Heads': 310
Buddha, Ken: 116
Buffet, Bernard: 9
Bullock, Alan: 316
bum: 231
bureaucrasy, gas cooker delivery: 180
burglar/encyclopedia salesman: 65
Burtenshaw, Mr: 168
`But first a bit of fun': 144
`But it's my only line': 43, 99
`But now for something completely different': 279
Butcher: 243
butler: 240
butter, Whizzo: 4
buying a bed: 100
Buzz Aldrin: 234
Buzzard, Jimmy: 139, 142
cabbage, movie with: 308
Caesar, Julius, and `Jack and the Beanstalk': 130
Caesar, Julius, as mouse: 27
Caesar, Julius, impersonating Eddie Waring: 169
Caesar, Julius, on Aldis lamp: 200
Calais, jumping to: 127
camel spotting: 81
Camp, Sandy: 61, 75
camp square-bashing: 299
candy company: 71
Canning, Prof. R. J.: 136, 144
captions, cost of: 67
Cardiff Rooms, Live from: 42
careers advisory board: 65
carriage, splitting with nose: 129
Cartesian dualism: 186, 276
Cassidy, Basil (the sheep): 270
cat license: 316
Cathedral, eating Chichester: 128
Catherine: 199
Cavendish, Oliver: 141
Chagall: 9
Chamberlain, Neville: 12
Chamberlain, Richard: 185
charades, in court: 200
*Charles <Crompton> (the Stripping Doctor); <Paisley>
Charles: 86
Chartered Accountancy, League for Fighting: 126
chartered accountant, wishing to become a lion tamer: 124
chartered accountant: 71
Cheese, The Big: 53
chemists sketch: 231
Chichester Cathedral, eating: 128
Chigger, Mr: 205
children's interview: 39
children's story: 35
Chinaman dressed as Mao: 250
Chippendale writing desk: 123
Chippenham Brick Company: 128
Chipperfield, Mr: 126
chocolate company: 71
`Choice of viewing on BBC Television, A': 185, 229, 293
Chou En Lai: 319
*Chris <Conger>
CID: 32
Cincinnati Mining Company: 132
City idiots: 274
City Stockbroker, Dull life of: 73
Clark, Petula: 169
`classified information': 306
Clean-air Systems, Ken: 244
Cleveland, Carol: 19, 26, 35, 38, 60, 61, 63, 102, 117, 137, 144, 174, 177,
192, 197, 199, 205, 206, 210, 217, 241, 246, 264, 265, 271, 281, 285,
286, 300, 305, 308, 312
Close, Brian: 277, 279
close order swanning about: 299
cockroach cluster: 73
cocktail party in Dulwich (Mr and Mrs Git): 285
coffin, moving into grave: 142
coffin, witness in: 30
Coleman, David: 279
*Colin <Mozart>
Colin: 261
Colonel Type: 247
Colonel, who complains about misuse of army slogan: 44, 45, 49, 54
Colonel, who stops the sketch: 98, 102, 108
come back to my place: 168
comfy chair, the: 198
communism, international: 35
composer: 6
Compton, Denis: 283
Con, Nik: 264
Concrete, Mr and Mrs: 267
`Confess!': 198
Confuse-a-Cat, Ltd.: 55
Conger, Chris: 310
Cook, Mr (and goat): 119
Cook, Mr: 284
cooker (gas) sketch: 179
`Corner of a bed-sitter, A': 160
`Coronation Scot' (music): 303
cosmetic surgery: 298
court, charades: 200
court, judge on trial: 202
Courtauld: 42
Courtneidge, Cicily: 74
court: 29
Coventry, visitors from: 150
crab, dead: 4
Cream, Dr: 216, 219
cricket, in boxing ring: 142
cricket match, in the living room: 267
cricket match, nothing happening: 274
cricket match, played by furniture: 275
crime, recreating scene of: 138
Critic: 247
Crompton, Charles: 266
cross-dressing: 178
Crump, Mrs G.: 179
crunchy frog: 72, 75
Cuba, hijacking a bus to: 212
Cudworth: 145
current affairs: 239
customs officer: 58
Cutler, Mr: 237
cut-price airline: 300
Cyril: 271
Dalrymple, Mrs: 37
Danielle: 281
D'Arc, Jean: 1
Darnay: 270
*David <Mercer>; <Unction>
Davidson, Ian: 75, 76, 134, 138, 139, 238, 261
Davies, Rita: 108, 253
Day, Doris: 79
Day, Robin: 284
De Kooning: 9
dead crab: 4
dead Indian delivery: 254
dead man, in court: 30
Dead March: 11
dead parrot sketch: 104
Dear Old Lady: 197
`Death of Mary Queen of Scots, The' (radio): 303
`Debbie Reynolds Show, The' (music): 264
Debenham, E. B. (Mrs): 61
Deidre: 19
d\'ej\`a vu: 218
Delaunay: 9
delivery men, gas cooker: 180
Denison, Michael: 74
Derby Council v. All Blacks rugby match: 318
Derbyshire Light Infantry: 299
*Derek <Hart>
Descartes, Rene\'e: 17
desk, man-eating roll-top: 315
Detective inspector: 91
detective sketch (there's been a murder): 137, 140
Detective: 250
Devious, Mr: 223
`Diabolical acting': 193
`Diabolical laughter': 193
`Dial M for Murder': 75
Dibley, Mr L. F.: 251
Dim, Inspector: 32
`Dim of the Yard': 32
`Ding dong merrily on high': 120
*Dino <Vercotti>
*Dinsdale <Piranha>
dirty books: 224
dirty fork: 35
dirty man, at tobaccanist: 182
dirty man, flashing passers-by: 107
dirty man, in vox pops: 96, 108
dirty men watching a doctor's examination: 265
Distel, Brian: 309
`Do you know what I mean': 165
`Do you want to come back to my place?': 168
Doctor Watson Doctor: 284
documentary, drug problem: 228
documentary, on idiots: 271
documentary, on street people: 227
documentary, on the boxer Ken Clean-air Systems: 244
documentary, on the Piranha brothers: 185
dog kennel: 100
*Don <Savage>
donky rides: 35
Donna (actress): 82, 86
Dora: 63
Dorking Civic Theatre: 75
double vision, Kilimanjaro expedition: 109
*Doug <Piranha>
Douglas: 162
Dove, Mr Ken (interested in shouting): 142
Dr Kildare (music): 176
Drabble, Margaret: 60
Dracula: 82
Drake, Sir Francis: 126
Drysdale, Cliff: 89
duck, cat and lizard (discussion): 59
Duckie, Detective: 306
Dufy: 9
Duke of Edinburgh: 233
`Dull Life of a City Stockbroker, The': 73
dung, Dan falling into: 122
dung delivery: 253
dung, joke about: 118
Durante, Jimmy: 292
eating art: 42
Edward VII, King: 1
Egret, Reverend Smiler: 190
`Egypt -- 1920': 281
Egypt: 141
`ehnvelope' and `larngerie' and `sarndwiches on the settee': 306
Eighteenth Century Social Legislation: 144
`Election Night Special' (Silly and Sensible Parties): 260
*Elizabeth <Bradshaw>, Inspector
Elsmore, Mrs: 160
Encyclopedia salesman, successful: 65
Encyclopedia salesman, unsuccessful: 66
engine driver: 33
English Channel, jumping across: 127
Entity, Mrs: 288
`Epilogue: A Question of Belief': 24, 27
Epson furniture race: 276
Equator, Mr and Mrs Brian and Audrey: 118
*Eric <Praline>; <Robinson>
Eric: 261
Ernest Pythagoras Primary School: 186
*Ernest <Scribbler>
Ernst, Max: 9
erotic film: 63
escape (from film): 238
`Ethel the Frog': 185
Europolice Song Contest: 306
Evans, Miss: 312
Eversley, Sir Robert: 280
*Ewan <McTeagle>
Ewing, Arthur: 19
Exeter Amateur Operatic Society (rugby team): 319
Exhibit Q: 203
existential football: 139, 142
exploding cat: 215
exploding elk: 205
exploding head of lettuce: 310
exploding owl: 205
exploding penguin: 305
exploding stuffed animal: 217
`Face the Press': 178
Fairbanks, Rita: 146, 302
fairy story about the police: 171
falling from building: 147
falling through earth's crust: 160
famous deaths: 1
Fanfrion, Signor Alberto: 139
Fang, Cardinal: 192, 197, 203
Farquar, Mr: 160
fashion voiceover on interview: 178
fees, game show based on: 249
fees, table of: 278
Figgis, Arthur (idiot): 272
Figgis, Arthur: 18, 67
fillings, location of: 51
`Finian's Rainbow starring the man from the off-licence': 252
Fink, Harry: 116
Finlay, Dr: 84
`Fin': 310
*Fiona <Lewis>
Fire, Chief Constable: 139
first heart transplant, recreation of: 302
fish license (for pet fish): 316
`Five frog curse, the': 230
`Flaming Star -- The Story of One Man's Search for Vengeance in the Raw and
Violent World of International Archaeology': 281
flashback: 288
flasher, the: 107
Fleming, Miss Alexander: 313
Flick Colby Dancers: 279
*Flight Lieutenant Ken <Frankenstein> (Mrs)
Flopsy: 53
flying lessons: 205
flying sheep: 15
football, literary: 139, 142
*football <referee>
Forbes, Brian: 277
Forbes, Mr and Mrs P.: 255
`Foreign Secretary, The': 252
fork, dirty: 35
Formula 2 racing (underwater): 302
Forster, Air Chief Marshal Sir Vincent `Kill the Japs': 179
Fortescue, Seymour: 312
Foster, Mr Bruce: 2
Frampton, Arthur: 17
Francesco: 3
Frankenstein, Flight Lieutenant Ken (Mrs): 174
Fred Tomlinson Singers: 306
freedom: 29
freemasons, the: 221
Freight, Mr: 119
French lecture on sheep-aircraft: 16
French subtitled film: 308
Frenchmen: 185
fresh fruit, defending against: 45
Frost, David: 123, 255
F'tang, F'tang: 234
`Full Frontal Nudity': 96
full frontal nudity: 99, 102
funniest joke in the world: 10
furniture at race track: 276
furniture playing cricket: 275
Galileo, Miss: 313
Galsworthy, John: 279
Gambolputty ... of Ulm, Johann: 67
Gambolputty ... of Ulm, Karl: 68
Gambolputty ... of Ulm, Sarah: 68
game show, based on fees: 249
game show, `Blackmail': 235
game show, where prize is blow to the head: 276
gangs, of grannies: 107
Garter Oil, Miss: 269
gas cooker sketch: 179
gas man: 254
Gaston: 36
Gay, Monsignor Edward: 24
General, German: 13
Geneva Convention: 14
`Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Smoke-signal Version': 200
Gent: 243
George: 261
Geppo: 9
Gerald, Sir: 138, 318
Gerald: 261
G\'ericault: 9
German Officer: 238
Germans, and killer joke: 12
*Gerry <Schlick>
*Gervaise <Brook-Hampster>
Gestapo officer: 13
gibbon news: 271
Gilberto: 37
Git, Mr and Mrs: 285
Giuseppe: 2
Gladstone: 21
Gloria: 187
God, existence of: 24, 27
Goethe, Mr and Mrs J. W. von (and dog): 291
`Good evening': 172
`Good Lord. I'm on film.': 238
gorilla librarian: 130
Gormanstrop, Brigadier Arthur (Mrs): 61
Grace, W. G., impersonating a music box: 169
`Grandstand': 279
Granny gangs: 107
Gray, Dulcie: 74
Greaves, Jimmy: 21
Green: 241
Grill-o-Mat Snack Bar, Paighnton: 235
Grillomat: 239, 240, 242, 244
Grimsby Urqhart-Wright, F. B.: 225
groom: 100
`Groupie, A': 266
Grundy, Reverend: 226
Guatemala: 142
Gudrun, Ty: 264
Gumby, first appearance: 60
Gumby, on after-shave: 233
Gumby, on Mr Hilter: 153
Gumby, Prof. Enid, on cement: 145
Gumby, Prof. F. H., on the Battle of Trafalgar: 145
Gumby, Prof. L. R., on the Battle of Trafalgar: 145
Gumby, Prof. R. J. (bashing self with bricks and crooning): 116
Gumby, Prof. R. J., on the Battle of Trafalgar: 145
Gumby, requesting an impersonation: 170
Gumby, requesting various things: 169
Gumby, taxing people standing in water: 196
Gumbys, closing the show: 234
Gumbys, introducing `Architects sketch': 220
Gumbys, introducing `Chemists sketch': 230
Gumbys, introducing `Insurance sketch': 223
`Gunfight at the OK Corral in Morse Code': 200
Gunman: 210
gynaecologist, on his lunch hour: 214, 216
`H' Division: 172
Hackforth, Norman: 92
hammer, large: 223
Handgep\"ackaufbewahrung, Frau Mitzi: 291
handshake, extraordinary: 222
*Hank <Spim>
Hardacre, Alexander: 148
Hardy, Thomas: 230
Harness, Wombat: 230
*Harold <Larch>; <Potter>
Harpenden, elections in: 263
Harpenden: 211, 213
Harris, Prebendary `Chopper': 225
Harris, Reg: 253
Harris, Rolf: 194
Harrison, Mr: 46
Harrods: 124, 284
*Harry <Fink>; `Snapper' <Organs>
Hart, Derek: 229, 230
Haydon-Jones, Ann and Pip: 89, 263, 303
head nailed to the floor: 187
Head, Sir George: 109
Headmaster: 165
`Hearts of Oak': 159
Heath, Edward (where to put EH's statue competition): 301
Heath, Edward: 123, 288
Heathcliffe: 198
hedgehog, giant: 187
height, argument over: 279
`Hello Dolly' performed underwater: 302
Hello Sailor: 24
Hello sailor: 24, 126, 179
`Hell's Grannies': 107
Hemmings, David: 79, 108
*Henry <Thatcher>, Police Constable
Herman Rodrigues Four: 135
hermits socializing: 102
Higgins, Ron: 32
Highlander: 214
hijacking a bus to Cuba: 212
hijacking a plane to Luton: 211
Hill, Graham: 170
Hill, Lord: 121, 146, 239
Hilter, Mr: 150
Himmler: 150
historical impersonation sketch: 169
`Historical Impersonations': 169
Hitchcock, Alfred: 252
Hitler, Adolf: 12
Hitler, Mr (aka Hilter): 150
Hoare, Vanilla: 312
Hockney, David: 179
Hollowood, Bernard: 303
homicidal barber: 112
hoop, an: 208
Hopkins: 166
horse chestnut: 39
housing problem, living on pavement: 227
How far can a minister fall?: 161
how to give up being a Mason: 222
`How to recognize different parts of the body': 294
`How to recognize different trees from quite a long way away': 29
*Howard <Stools>
Hudson, Rock: 79
Humpberdinck, Engelbert: 263
Hunalyser: 173
hunt photograph: 157
hunting film: 117
Hutton, Sir Len: 283
`I don't know. I just don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know...':
269
`I preferred the dirty version': 286
`I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so
anyway': 29
`I thought that ending was a bit predictable': 135
`I thought that was a bit predictable': 130
`I wish to report a burglary': 154
*Ian <McKellan>
`Idiot in Society, The' (documentary): 271
`if', a movie by Mr L. F. Dibley: 251
If he'd gone to the police...: 90
`If I could walk like that...': 217
`If I could walk that way...': 231
`If we could run that way...': 239
`I'll never fall in love again': 176
`I'm a little bit sad and lonely': 307
`I'm just getting a loud buzzing noise in my left ear': 261
`I'm opening a boutique': 140
`I'm the guy that found the lost chord': 292
Incubator-Jones, Nigel: 156
Indian (American) in theatre: 74
Indian: 177
indiscreet chemist: 231
Inglis, Brian: 277
Inspector Dim: 32
Inspector Elizabeth Bradshaw: 250
Inspector Harry H `Snapper' Organs: 172
Inspector Jean-Paul Zatapathique: 307
Inspector Muffin the Mule: 305
Inspector, poet: 228
Inspector Praline: 71
Inspector Tiger: 137
insulting the waiter: 157
insurance sketch: 223
`Intercourse the penguin': 304
`Interesting Lives': 38
`Interesting People': 140
`Interesting Sport': 142
interesting undergarments: 255
`Intermission': 162, 166, 167, 177
`International Guide to Semaphore Code': 198
interruptions: 136
interview, duck, cat and lizard: 59
interview, for management training course: 63
interview, God, existence of: 24
interview, gorilla for librarian: 130
interview, job: 63
interview, man who dresses as mice: 25
interview, man with three buttocks: 17
interview, small children: 39
interview, with Arthur `Two Sheds' Jackson: 6
interview, with Jimmy Buzzard (existential football): 139, 142
interview, with Karl Gambolputty ... of Ulm: 68
interview, with man who contradicts people: 297
interview, with man who makes bad movies: 251
interview, with Minister for Home Affairs (in a dress): 178
interview, with Raymond Luxury Yacht: 259
interview, with Sir Edward Ross: 4
interview, with street people: 227
interview, with tall and short archaeologist: 279
introduction, of Harry Fink: 116
Ipswitch: 107
Iris: 117
Irrelevant, Mr and Mrs: 300
Italian lesson: 2
`It's a Living' (game show): 249
`It's a Man's Life in Banking': 126
`It's a Man's Life in England's Mountain Green': 49
`It's a Man's Life in the British Dental Association': 54
`It's a Man's Life in the Cardiff Rooms, Libya': 43
`It's a Man's Life in the Modern Army': 44
`It's a Man's Life taking your clothes off in public': 45
`It's a Tree': 122
`It's the Arts' (interview with Edward Ross): 4
`It's the Arts' (interview with Karl Gambolputty ... of Ulm): 67
`It's the Mind -- A Weekly Magazine of Things Psychiatric': 218
`It's Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart': 1
Ivan the Terrible, impersonating a sales assistant: 169
*Ivor <Bigbottie>
*Ivy <North>
Jack, Dr Tom: 24
*Jack <Riley>
Jacklin, Tony: 279
Jackson, Arthur `Two Sheds': 6
Jackson, Arthur: 26
*James <McRettin>
Janet: 26, 42
`Jarrow, New Year's Eve, 1911': 192
Java, tunnelling to: 128
*Jean-Brian <Zatapathique>
*Jean-Paul <Zatapathique>
Jenkins, Mr: 272
Jesus Christ, Mrs: 313
Jewelery robbery: 62
*Jimmy <Buzzard>
Jim: 274
*John <Stokes>
John the Baptist, impersonating Graham Hill: 170
John the Baptist, Miss: 313
Johnson, Brian: 277
Johnson, Mr and Mrs: 150
Johnson: 148, 194
Johnston, Peter: 279
Johnston, William: 111
joke, about three nuns in a nudist colony: 239
joke, killer: 11
joke, world's funniest: 10
jokes and novelty salesman: 195
Jones, Mr: 206
Jones, Tom: 194
judge, on trial: 202
judges, poofy: 287, 292
judge: 71
`Julius Caesar on an Aldis lamp': 200
jumping over a wall of matchboxes: 156
jumping the English Channel: 127
Kamikaze pilot: 301
Kandinsky, Wassily: 9
Kant, Mr and Mrs Emmanuel: 291
Kant: 139
Kargol, The Amazing: 26
Kastner, Professor Lucien: 279
*Kay <Sludge>
*Keith <Maniac>
Kelly, Grace: 252
*Ken <Buddha>; <Clean-air Systems>; <Dove>; <Shabby>; <Voyeur>
Ken: 22
*Kevin <O'Nassis>
Khan, Genghis: 1
kicking the beggar: 156
kidnapping newsreader: 38
`Kierkegaard's Journals': 185
Kierkegaard: 25, 187
Kilbraken, The Honourable Mr Justice: 202
Kilimanjaro expedition (double vision): 109
killer joke: 11
killer sheep: 269
*Kirk <Vilb>
Kirt: 137
`Kiss, The' (Rodin sculpture): 25
*Kitty <Malone>
Klee, Paul: 9
Knickers, William: 136
knickers: 231
knight in armour: 8, 69
knight, with raw chicken: 33, 35, 38, 82, 117, 168
Kokoschka: 9
La Gondola Restaurant: 166
La Rue, Brigadier Zoe (deceased): 174
*Lady Arabella <Plunkett>
Lady Mountback: 192
Lady Sarah Pencil Farthing Vivian Streamroller Adams Pie Biscuit Aftershave
Gore Stringbottom Smith: 157
Lafarge: 51
Laker, Jim: 279
Lambert, Mr: 100
*Lambert <Warbeck>, The Rt. Hon.
language class, Italian: 2
Larch, Harold: 29
Larch, psychiatrist: 174
`Larch, The': 29, 33, 39, 41, 125
Larry: 69
*Lassie <O'Shea>
`Late Night Line Up': 249
lavatory humor: 136
`Le Fromage Grand': 309
League for Fighting Chartered Accountancy: 126
*Leapy <Lee>
Leavey, Mr: 221
Lee, Leapy: 283
L\'eger, Fernand: 9
Leicester, elections in: 261
Lemming, Arthur: 50
Lemming, David: 79
`Lemming of the BDA': 54
Lemming, Terence: 312
*Leslie <Ames>
`Less Naughty Chemists's, A': 231
lessons, flying: 205
letter, apology for being late: 139
letter, complaining about previous sketch: 148
letter, objecting to being objected to: 174
letter, objecting to emphasis of the show: 136
letter, objecting to fake letters: 136
letter, objecting to preceding letter: 61
letter, objecting to preceding sketch: 61
letter, objecting to previous sketch: 114
letter, objecting to the next letter: 174
letter, on being beaten at school (with no ill effects): 174
letter, on sport: 158
letter, to `Daily Mirror': 132
Lewis, Fiona: 29
Limbo, St John: 213
Lin Pao: 319
Lin Shao Chi: 319
Lincoln, Abraham: 1
lingerie shop, bank robber in: 121
lion tamer, chartered accountant wishing to become: 124
literary football: 139, 142
`Live from the Cardiff Rooms, Libya': 42
Live from the Grill-o-Mat snack bar, Paignton: 235
living room on pavement: 227
Llama, The: 109
llamas: 120
Llewellen, Mr: 86
lobotomy: 138
London, Brian: 169, 303
Long John Silver Impersonators (soccer team): 319
Long John Sliver, impersonation of: 123
Longueur: 309
Lookout, Chief Superintendent: 138
*Lucien <Kastner>
Lucy: 271
*Luigi <Vercotti>
Lulu: 279
lumberjack song: 114
Luton Airport: 190
Luton, elections in: 262
Luton, hijacking a plane to: 211
Lutt, E. F.: 141
Machin: 111
Mad 1, mad 2, mad 3, mad 4, ...: 233
mad psychiatrist: 175
Madd: 153
magic, use of by police: 172
Mahoney: 52
maid: 241
Malone, Kitty: 185
`Man Alive'-type interview: 245
man in angel wings lowered from above: 144
man in the street (hit by a car): 60
`Man of La Mancha': 190
man who accidentally jumps out of a plane: 210
man who can give a cat influenza: 141
man who can hypnotize bricks: 142
man who can recite the Bible in one second: 141
man who contradicts people: 297
man who divides by three: 100
man who flings a cat into a bucket of water: 142
man who hears folk songs: 175
man who is alternately rude and polite: 243
man who is foaming at the mouth and falling over backwards: 153
man who is half an inch long: 140
man who is interested in shouting: 142
man who is invisible: 141
man who is not sorry to interrupt: 250
man who is stark raving mad: 141
man who jumps across the English Channel: 127
man who keeps getting into accidents: 240
man who makes movies identical to famous movies, but much worse: 251
man who mistakes airline cockpit for lavatory: 209
man who multiplies by ten: 100
man who turns into a Scotsman: 84
man who wants to exchange his wife: 283
man who wants to get married: 259
man with a silly walk: 183
man with enormous nose: 259, 298
man with nine legs: 24
man with tape recorder up his brother's nose: 112
man with tape recorder up his nose: 109
man with three buttocks: 17, 24
man with three noses: 18
man with two noses: 18
Mangrove, Throatwobbler: 259, 298
Maniac, Mr Keith (hyptotizes bricks): 142
man-powered flight: 192
`Man's crisis of identity in the latter half of the twentieth century': 55
Mantovani: 162
Mao Tse Tung: 283, 319
Marat: 1
Marceau, Marcel, miming: 170
Marche Futile, La: 185
Marge: 42
Mariolini: 3
marriage guidance counselor: 19
marriage registrar: 259, 283
Marseillaise, The: 109, 112, 170
`Mary Queen of Scots, The Death of' (radio): 303
mason, recognizing a: 222
masons, the: 221
Master of Ceremonies: 247
`Match of the Day': 62
mattress: 100
Maudling, Mrs Reginald: 288
Maudling, Mr: 207
Maudling, Reginald, naughty bits of: 297
Maudling, Reginald, shin of: 305
Maudling, Reginald: 277
*Maureen <Spencer>
*Maurice <Zatapathique>
Mayor, Lord (very tall): 318
McGoering, Mr Norman: 152
McKellan, Ian: 213
McRettin, James: 311
McTeagle, Ewan: 212
`Me Doctor': 168
`Measure for Measure' performed underwater: 302
men falling past a window to their deaths: 147
men standing on each others' shoulders: 282
men who dress up as mice: 25
Mendelssohns (coming for tea): 290
Mercer, David: 213
Mercury, running to: 129
Mexican rhythm combo: 135
mice, musical: 19
*Michael <Baldwin>; <Miles>; <Queen>
Michelangelo (sculpting David): 290
Milan: 3
Miles, Michael: 276
Milk Marketing Board: 255
Milkmaid: 217
milkman who is a psychiatrist: 214, 218
milkman who is seduced: 38
Millichope, Ray: 252
Minehead by-election: 152
miners, Welsh (singers): 120
mining, coal: 22
minister, falling through earth's crust: 160
Minister for Home Affairs (in a dress): 178
Minister of Pensions and Social Security: 266
Ministry of Housinge [sic]: 317
Ministry of Silly Walks: 183
Miro: 9
Mitzi: 291
Mondrian, Piet: 9
money, poetry about: 213
Morrison, Reverend: 224
`Morse Code, Gunfight at the OK Corral in': 200
mosquito hunting: 286
Moss, Reg: 8
moth hunting: 287
motor insurance sketch: 223
Mount, Peggy: 185
`Mouse Problem, The': 25
moustache, moving: 216
moustache, removable: 173, 300
moustache, transferring: 16, 185
movie, romantic: 63
movie, silent (silly walks): 184
Mozart, Colin (the ratcatcher): 291
Mozart, W. A.: 291
Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus: 1
Muffin the Mule, Inspector: 305
Mungo: 37
`Munich 1821': 291
musical mice: 19
Mustapha: 282
`My, isn't it hot in here': 205
`My only line, But it's': 43, 99
`My only line, This is': 44
`My only line, Well, it's': 102
mynah bird: 288
Nabarro, Sir Gerald: 283, 316
Nabarro: 250
nailing my head to a coffee table: 187
nailing my head to the floor: 187
`Naked Ant, The': 147
Name, Arthur (name by name but not by nature): 118
Napoleon, as mouse: 27
Napoleon, impersonating the R101 disaster: 170
Napoleon, in photo caption sequence: 160
Napoleon, man dressed as: 175
Napoleon, Miss: 313
Napoli: 3
National Bocialist party: 152
naughty bits: 294, 297
naughty news: 271
Nazi officer: 13
Negus, Arthur: 263, 282
*Nellie <Air-Vent>
Nelson, Admiral: 2
Nelson of Trafalgar: 126
Nesbitt, Reverend E. P.: 225
Neuk, Reverend: 226
`Neverpay' insurance policy: 225
`New Cooker Sketch': 179
Newman, Mrs: 121
Newman, Nanette: 277
news for gibbons: 271
news for humans, naughty: 271
news for parrots: 270
news for wombats: 271
newsreader, kidnaped: 38
newsreader, wanted for robbery: 62
Nicholson, Ben: 9
nickname, `Eddie baby': 4
nickname, `Two Sheds': 6
*Nigel <Incubator-Jones>; <Watt>
Nigel: 52
Nightingale, Florence, impersonating Brian London: 169
*Nik <Con>
Nixon, Richard M: 132, 155
`No Change': 263
`No more buttered scones for me, mater. I'm off to play the grand piano.':
207
`No. Try again.': 92, 215
Nolan, Sydney: 296
non-illegal robbery: 69
*Norah Jane <Stokes>
*Norman St John <Polevaulter>, Mr
Norman: 35, 40, 261
Norris, Miss: 265
North Minehead by-election: 152
North, Mrs Ivy: 301
nose, splitting railway carriage with: 129
`Not at All Naughty Chemist's, A': 232
Notlob, Mr: 175
Notlob: 107
novelty salesman: 195
nude lady: 73, 177, 223, 225
nude man, playing the organ: 235, 236
nude man: 229, 230
nudge nudge: 40
nun, kicking policeman: 310
nun, who prefers dirty version: 286
nuns in a nudist colony, joke about: 239
Oates: 312
Obvious, Ron: 126
O'Connor, Des: 194
`Of course it's got a hole in it, it wouldn't be a hoop otherwise.': 208
`Oh, I've had such a morning in the High Court': 287
*`Oh Mr Belpit your legs are so swollen' (<rehearsing bishop>): 205
`Oh, you're no fun any more': 82, 82, 82, 83
Old Idiot: 273
Old Man of Hoy: 279
Old Man: 271
*Oliver <Cavendish>; <St John-Mollusc>
O'Nassis, Kevin: 273
`Ooh I don't like this. Ooh I don't like that.': 162
`Ooh I must be in the wrong house': 179
operating theatre (squatters): 176
`Operation, The': 186
oranges, mayor et al eating: 318
Organs, Inspector Harry H `Snapper': 172
Organs, Superintendent Harry `Snapper': 185
O'Shea, Lassie: 212
`Other Operation, The': 186
`Other Other Operation, The': 186
O'Tracey, Stig: 187
otter, how to fling: 67
Otto: 13
ouija board: 172
`Owl-stretching time': 42
Oxley, Mel: 122
padding to thirty minutes: 107
Padre: 243
painting, and bicycling: 6, 8
Paisley, Charles: 187
Palethorpe, Dawn: 316, 318
palindrome, it was a: 107
Pan-Am, Police Constable: 234
`Panorama' (music): 171
`Panorama': 279
Pans People: 279
parking offense: 29
Parkinson: 148
parrot news: 270
Parrot, Superintendent: 71
party, mouse: 27
`Party political broadcast on behalf of the Wood Party, A': 160
Pasarell, Charlie: 89
Pascal, Blaise: 17
Pattinson, Mr (dog): 132
`Paul Temple': 303
peanut, assaulted: 14
Pearl Harbour, Battle of, recreation: 145
`Pearls for Swine': 166
penguin, exploding: 305
penguin, giant electric: 315
penguin on the television set: 303
penguins, what do they eat?: 276
Pennine Gang: 270
people being thrown into the river: 252
pepperpots, evaluating Whizzo butter: 4
pepperpot: 9, 16, 29, 60, 71, 96, 107, 114, 153, 214, 276, 288, 303
pet conversion shop: 129
pet shot, dead parrot: 104
`Peter Gunn' (music): 227
Peter: 256, 275
*Petula <Wilcox>
Pewty, Arthur: 19
Phelps, Brian: 201
Phelps, Mr: 175
Phillips, Mr and Mrs: 150
Philosophy Department of the University of Woolamaloo: 295
Phil: 310
Phipps, Mr (gorilla): 130
photo caption sequence: 160
photographs of Uncle Ted: 197
Picasso, Pablo, in cycling race: 6, 8
Pickering, Colonel: 137
pig, fully motorized: 255
pig, head: 10
pig, squeal: 1, 2, 3, 6, 15
pile of straw, landing in: 210
Pim, Mrs: 217
Pinnet, Mrs G.: 179
Piranha, Arthur: 185
Piranha brothers, Doug and Dinsdale: 185
`Pit stop': 303
Pitt the Elder, Mrs William: 288
playwright, working-class: 22
Plummer, Christopher: 135
Plunkett, Lady Arabella: 157
Podgorny, Mr and Mrs Angus and Mary: 88
poet in every home: 228
Poet inspector: 228
poet McTeagle (poems about money): 212
poetry about money: 213
pointed sticks, defending against: 45
pointing out innacuracies, BALPA man: 209
pointing out innacuracies, psychiatrist: 216
pointing out innacuracies, Scotsman: 214
pointless bickering: 208
polecat, rancid: 233
polecats, training: 159
Polevaulter, Mr Norman St John: 297
police, as fairies: 171
Police Constable Pan-Am: 234
Police Raffle: 255
police station, blancmange sighting: 89
police station (silly voices): 154
policeman, in ladies evening gown: 173
policeman, who gets into an accident: 241
policeman, who shoplifts: 234
policeman, who stops the sketch: 231
`Policemen make wonderful friends': 76
political analysis, discussing falling ministers: 161
Pollock, Jackson: 9
poofy judges: 287, 292
Pope, the: 298
Porter, Cole: 282
Porter, Nyree Dawn: 279
porter: 107
Portman, Lord: 252
Potter, Harold: 84
Potter, Mr and Mrs: 227
pox: 231
Praline, Eric: 316
Praline, Inspector: 71
Praline, Mr: 104, 239, 242
prawn salad: 240
precision display of bad temper: 299
Pretty, Captain R. H.: 132
`Probe Around' on crime: 171
Professor: 269
Programming Planning: 194
Prologue: 165
protection racket, army: 97
Proust, Marcel: 139, 316
psychiatrist Larch: 174
psychiatrist treating a cow: 217
psychiatrist who is a magician: 26
psychiatrist who is a milkman: 214
psychiatry, silly sketch: 174
psychotherapy, behavioural: 222
Pudey, Mr: 184
pun, it was a: 107
punch line: 37
Putting Things on Top of Other Things, Royal Society for: 237, 242
`Q' Division: 11, 185
Queen, Michael: 38
Queen (on horseback): 167
Queen Victoria: 21
quiz programme -- `Wishes': 170
race track, furniture racing: 276
Rachel Toovey Bicycle Choir: 141
racial prejudice: 60, 62
rack, the: 193
radio, leaving on during the night: 84
raid, police (drug): 60
railway carriage, splitting with nose: 129
`Raindrops keep falling on my head': 234
ram's bladder cup: 72
Raphael (the artist): 42
rapid-fire conversation: 91
Ratbag, Mrs: 215
ratcatcher, Colin Mozart: 291
ratcatcher: 267
*Raymond Luxury <Yacht>
`Rear Window', a movie by Mr L. F. Dibley: 251
receptionist: 174
referee, blowing whistle: 54
referee, football: 14
referee, stopping a sketch: 284
refreshment room at the Bletchley: 116
*Reg <Moss>
registrar of marriages (wife exchange): 283
registrar of marriages: 259
Reg: 70, 192
rehearsing bishop: 205, 217, 218, 219, 242
`Reluctant Debutante': 75
remaining underground, world record: 129
removing bras from store mannequins: 158
Reporter: 256
requisite-t-t-t-t-t: 232
restaurant (abuse/cannibalism): 162
restaurant sketch (dirty fork): 35
*Reverend <Morrison>; Smiler <Egret>
revolver: 6, 25, 46
Richard III, King: 1
Richelieu, Cardinal Armand du Plessis de (impersonator): 31
Richelieu, Cardinal, impersonating Petula Clark: 169
Riley, Jack: 91
*Rita <Fairbanks>; <Thang>
river, walking in: 206
robbers, non-illegal: 69
*Robert <Eversley>
Robert, people named: 161
Robertson, Mr: 131
Robertson: 147
Robinson, Eric: 125
Roche, Tony: 89
Rochester: 265
`Rodent Exterminating Boutique': 291
Rodin: 25
*Roger <Thompson>
Rogers, Mrs: 179
Roman centurion: 130
*Ron <Higgins>; <Obvious>; <Vibbentrop>
Rosamund: 159
Ross, Sir Edward: 4
*Roy <Spim>
Royal Frog Trampling Institute: 83
Royal Philharmonic Orchestra goes to the bathroom: 136
RSM: 45
Rubber Mac of Zurich Award: 116
rugby announcers: 319
rugby, mayor et al playing: 318
rules (faculty) at University of Woolamaloo: 296
running to Mercury: 129
Sabine School for Girls: 243
`Sales Manager East Midlands Poet Board': 228
Saltzberg, Larry: 76
*Sam <Trench>
Sancho Panza: 190
Sartre, Jean-Paul: 17
`Satire': 222
Savage, Don: 142
Schlick, Gerry: 311
school prize-giving: 250
Schoolmaster: 242
Schwitters, Kurt: 9
science fiction sketch: 84
Scotland, Church of: 225
Scotland Yard: 10
Scotsman, men turning into: 84
Scotsman, on a horse: 24, 76
Scotsman, pointing out inaccuracies: 214
Scotsman, who wrotes poetry about money: 213
Scott of the Antarctic: 127
`Scott of the Antarctic': 311
`Scott of the Sahara': 314
screwing my pelvis to a cake stand: 187
Scribbler, Ernest: 10
Scum, Mrs: 277
Second Armoured Division: 299
secret service dentists: 49
Secretary of State striptease: 266
secretary: 206
seduced milkmen: 38
self-defence class (fresh fruit): 45
`Semaphore Version of Wuthering Heights': 198
semprini: 231, 233
Sensible Party candidate: 261
`Seven Brides for Seven Brothers': 242
`Seventh Seal': 86
*Seymour <Fortescue>
Shabby, Ken, on after-shave: 233
Shabby, Ken (parental consent): 159
Shakespeare, William (writing Hamlet): 290
sheds, two: 6
sheep, flying: 15
sheep infestation (not rats): 268
Sheep, The Sundance: 270
sheer, armed and dangerous: 269
Sheilas: 296
Shelley (the poet): 228
Sherrin, Ned: 61
Shirley: 162
shooting the rabbit: 158
shoplifter: 233
Sh: 55
Sicily: 129
`Signalbox somewhere near Hove, A': 147
signalman: 149
silly doctor sketch (immediately abandoned): 284
`silly high-pitched whine, A kind of': 178
silly job interview: 63
Silly Party candidate: 261
silly vicar: 282
silly voices, police station: 154
silly walk sketch: 183
Simnel, April: 185
Simon-Zinc-Trumpet-Harris: 156
singing, by archaeologists: 281
singing, Christmas carols: 120
singing, lumberjack song: 114
*singing, see also `<And did those...>'
singing, Sgt Duckie's song: 307
singing, `We're all going to the zoo': 175
singing, window cleaner song: 32
Sir Vincent `Kill the Japs' Forster: 179
Sir William: 237
sixteen-ton weight: 48, 161, 170, 217, 226, 319
Skyron (planet) in Galaxy of Andromeda: 88
slaughterhouse flats: 220
Sludge, Kay: 264
`Small boarding house in Minehead, Somerset': 149
Smith Smith Smith etc., Brigadier Mainwaring: 158
Smith-Smythe-Smith, Vivian: 156
`Smoke-signal Version of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes': 200
smuggler, watch: 58
snack bar, episode based at: 235
Snetterton-Lewis, Vince: 187
`Snooker My Way': 279
`So much for pathos': 21
`Social Legislation in the Eighteenth Century': 144
Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things: 237, 242
soft cushions, poking with: 198
Soft Toy Department, Derry Toms (rugby team): 319
soft toy department: 117
`Soho Motors, 2nd floor': 166
`Something silly's going to happen': 252
`Sorry': 301
Southcott, Joanna: 276
`Spanish Inquisition, Blimey! I didn't expect the': 203
`Spanish Inquisition, I didn't expect a kind of': 192
`Spanish Inquisition, I didn't expect the' (but they don't come): 234
`Spanish Inquisition, Oh, I didn't expect the': 197
`Spectrum' -- talking about things: 148
Spencer, Maureen: 246
Spim, Hank and Roy (mosquito hunters): 286
Spim, Mr Albert: 83
Spinoza, Ken: 111
Spiny Norman: 187
Splinter, Harold: 123
splunge: 78
`Spot, The' (animation): 260
spring surprise: 73
squatters (inside Mr Notlob): 175
squirrels, eating: 60
*St John <Limbo>
St John-Mollusc, Oliver: 156
Stafford, Sir: 316
Stapleton: 51
Stebbings, Mr and Mrs Violet: 2
Stephen, Saint: 1
Stewart, Michael: 302
Stig, Mr: 63
*Stig <O'Tracey>
Stig: 308
Stoat, Dame Irene: 253
Stoats, Brian: 190
stockbroker, dull life of a: 73
stockbroker: 99, 153
Stokes, John and Norah Jane: 285
stolen newsreader: 38
Stolle, Fred: 89
Stolle, Mrs Fred: 283
Stonehenge: 172
Stools, Mr Howard (half an inch long): 140
`Stop Press': 255
`Stop the Film': 236
story time: 35
stove (gas) sketch: 179
`Straight man': 223, 224
strangers in the night sketch: 132
stripper music: 265
stripping doctor: 266
striptease, by Secretary of State: 266
striptease, eight seconds: 144
striptease, undressing in public: 45
Strong, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur (Mrs): 114
Sundance Sheep, The: 270
*Superintendent Harry `Snapper' <Organs>
Superman, F. G.: 33
Superman-like cartoon character: 74
surgeon: 176
swanning about, close order: 299
Swanton, E. W.: 279, 291, 317
Swinburne (the poet): 228
`swingometer': 261
*Sybil <Agro>, Mrs
sycophants: 76
tactical nuclear missile: 189
`Take Your Pick' (game show): 276
`Tale of Two Cities, A' (for parrots): 270
talking rapidly: 149, 153, 161
tall town council aldermen: 318
taxing Racquel Welch: 196
taxing the nude in my bed: 196
taxing thingy: 196
Taylor, A. J. P.: 144
Tchaikovsky piano concerto: 136
Tea lady: 206, 217
Teabag, Mr: 184
Teal, Mrs Betty: 235
`Teeth': 42
tennis, with five players: 89
Tennyson, Alfred Lord, in the tub: 228
Tennyson, Alfred Lord: 21
tent in the middle of the road: 206
*Terence <Lemming>
test match: 274
Tex: 161
Thames Ditton (sic): 236
Thang, Miss Rita: 203
`That sketch has been abandoned': 284
Thatcher, Margaret, brain of: 305
Thatcher, Margaret: 283
Thatcher, Police Constable Henry: 60
`The cat sat on the mat': 144
`The End': 204, 234, 248, 252, 278, 307
`Theater Sketch': 74
`There's been a burglary': 305
`There's been a murder': 305
`There's no place for sentiment in Big Business': 83
`There's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.':
176
Theresamanbehindyer, Assistant Chief Constable: 138
thermo-nuclear device: 189
`They don't stamp animals ``property of the zoo''.': 304
`They said it again': 268
`They're all number three.': 215
Thing and Entity, Mesdames: 288
Thing, Mrs: 288
third test against the West Indies: 267
`Thirteen Weeks of Off-spin Bowling': 279
`This here's the wattle -- the emblem of our land': 296
`This is in fact the very first time I've ever appeared on television': 262
`This is my only line': 44
`This is Your Life' (music): 269
`This Week': 185
*Thomas <Walters>
Thompson, Mrs: 272
Thompson, Mr: 47, 240
Thompson, Roger: 134
Thompson: 165
*Throatwobbler <Mangrove>
Tid, Mr: 220
Tiddles, Professor: 149
Tiddles (the cat): 142
tiger, attacking: 48
Tiger, Inspector: 137
Timmy Williams interview: 255
*Timmy <Williams>
tobaccanist, dirty man: 182
`Today in Parliament': 271
`Tomorrow's World': 267
torch, a nice: 229
Toulouse-Lautrec, riding a tricycle: 9
Trafalgar, Battle of: 145
trailer: 122
train spotting: 82
Trainer: 245
trapped in a building by film: 238
Tree, Arthur: 122
Trench, Sam: 9
*Trevor <Atkinson>
tricycle, Toulouse-Lautrec on a: 9
`Trouble at the mill': 192
Trubshawe, Brian: 185
Trubshawe, Monsieur: 16
tungsten carbide drills: 22
tunnelling to Java: 128
Turner (the artist): 43
Turpin, Mrs: 301
Twentieth Century Vole, sketch: 76
Twentieth Century Vole: 198, 311
Two-Lumps, Mrs: 184
*Ty <Gudrun>
Tynan, K. (no relation): 291
Uncle Ted: 197
Uncle Tom: 265
Unction, David: 122, 126
undertakers (film): 146
undertakers, four tired: 142
undertakers: 162
undertaker: 136, 139, 140, 177
underwater performances: 302
undressing in public: 45
undressing: 19, 144, 205, 236
university of idiocy: 273
Unoccupied Britain, 1970: 96
unwritten law, transgressing the: 187
Upperclass Twit of the Year: 155
upperclass twit: 155
useless graph: 148
Van der Berg: 51
Van Der Whoops, Prof. Gert: 144
Van Gogh: 43
*Vanilla <Hoare>
vaulting horse: 238
vegetarian restaurant: 162
Velloper, Lady Amanda: 137
Venus de Milo: 294
Vera: 132
Vercotti, Dino: 97
Vercotti, Luigi: 97, 127, 167, 189
Verity: 100
Verrifast Plane Company, Ltd.: 300
Vet: 55
Vibbentrop, Ron: 150
Vicar: 71, 130, 224, 300
Victor: 117
Viking: 8, 27, 69, 126, 172, 269
Vilb, Kirk: 311
village idiot (documentary): 271
*Vince <Snetterton-Lewis>
Viney, Anthony: 186
visitors from Conventry: 150
visitors sketch: 117
*Vivian <Smith-Smythe-Smith>
vocational guidance counsellor sketch (chartered accountant): 124
Vogler: 53
Vole, Ltd, Amaze-a-: 58
*Vole, <Twentieth Century>
Von Ribbentrop: 150
voodoo police: 172
vox pops, on after-shave: 233
vox pops, on city idiots: 274
vox pops, on full frontal nudity: 96
vox pops, on mice in society: 27
vox pops, on politicians: 266
vox pops, on robbery: 71
vox pops, on smuggling: 60
vox pops, whom to attack?: 61
Voyeur, Ken: 136
wacky queen, the: 21
Wagner, Mr Dickie: 291
Wains Cotting: 268
wainscotting: 268
Waitress: 247
waking up the neighbor: 157
walking a straight line: 156
walk-on part in sketch: 121
*Wally <Wiggin>
Walters, Mr Thomas (invisible): 141
`Waltzing Matilda': 294
Warbeck, The Rt. Hon. Lambert: 160
warfare, joke: 14
Waring, Arthur: 24
Waring, Eddie: 169
`Washington Post March': 118, 290
watch smuggler: 58
Watson: 284
Watt, Nigel: 255
Watteau: 43
wattle, the: 296
Watutsi, the: 280
Wayne, John: 310
weather report, given by poet inspector: 229
Webb, Captain: 126
Webb's Wonder: 309
wee-wees: 231
Welch, Racquel, dropped on top of me: 170
Welch, Racquel, taxing: 196
`Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how
very nice': 267
Welsh miners (singers): 120
`We're all going to the zoo': 175
West, Peter: 279
`What is going on?': 148
`What's all this then?': 234, 255
`Where to put Edward Heath's statue' competition: 301
Whitehouse, Mary: 263
`Whither Canada?': 1
Whizzo butter: 4
Whizzo Chocolate Company: 71
Whoops, Prof. Gert Van Der: 144
Wife: 43
Wiggin, Mr: 220
Wiggin, Wally: 169
Wilcox, Petula: 246
Wilde, Marjorie: 197
Wilkins: 82, 147
*William <Knickers>
Williams, Esther: 201
Williams, Timmy: 255
Willis, Mrs: 206
Wilson, Arthur (aka Bob): 110
Wilson, Stan: 75
Wimbledon, blancmanges at: 92
window cleaner: 32
Winn, Anona: 137
wire, suspended from a: 207
`Wishes' -- quiz programme: 170
`With a little love, just a little love': 264
witness in coffin: 30
woman who can't remember her name: 283
*Wombat <Harness>
wombat news: 271
`Wonderful Mr Williams, The': 257
wood, block of: 123
`Wood Party, A party political broadcast on behalf of the': 160
wood, piece of, time for: 125
Wood, Scotsman made entirely of: 62
Woolamaloo, University of (Philosophy Department): 295
*Woolwich, <Bishop> of
`Words not to be used again on this programme': 231
Wordsworth: 228
working-class playwright: 22
`World Around Us, The': 25
`World of History, The': 136, 144
world's funniest joke: 10
Wostenholme, Kenneth: 279
wrestling, over existence of God: 24
wrestling: 27
writers: 76
`Wuthering Heights, Semaphore version': 198
Wyeth, Katya: 43, 99
Ximinez, Cardinal, on after-shave: 233
Ximinez, Cardinal: 192, 197, 203
`Xmas night with the stars': 174
Yacht, Raymond Luxury: 259, 298
yeti spotting: 81
yokel: 153
`You're no fun any more': 81
Zanie: 209
Zatapathique, Brianette: 309
Zatapathique, Chief Inspector Jean-Paul: 307
Zatapathique, Jean-Brian: 16, 185
Zatapathique, Maurice: 132
--
Tim Steele
> The index that comes with "All The Words" lists the sketches by name,
> but if you don't know the name of the sketch, that doesn't help you much.
> Here's an index of Volume 1 listed by everything I could think of.
> Character name, lines you remember ("No. Try again"), significant
> events, whatever.
Great Stuff!
Will you post Vol 2?
Tim
--
tj...@tadtec.uucp ...!uunet!mcvax!ukc!tadtec!tjfs
Tadpole Technology plc, Science Park, Milton Road, CAMBRIDGE, CB4 4WQ
Phone: +44-223-423030 Fax: +44-223-420772 Telex: 817316 TADTEC G
Raymond Chen
>Will you post Vol 2?
It took me a few weeks to write the index for Volume 1.
I don't even *have* Volume 2.
Anybody wanna volunteer to make an index for Volume 2?