Donz's Trip Report
Donz5
woes to share, other than when I departed the subway under Broadway/
50th St., there was a giant rat calmly strolling by on the platform,
seemingly not at all alarmed by the mass of people descending upon its
turf. An omen, I guess.
I had burned 90 DVDs for the gang and first distributed them to some
in the place now known as Angelo's (next door to the marquee), then to
everyone else when they went outside to stand in line and do whatever
they're supposed to do for their tickets. All good, all sweet, hugs,
handshakes, laughs, sobs, trading shoelaces, the usual.
Suddenly one of the LS Security goons -- I mean -- fine gentlemen
protecting LS audiences from undesirables (we'll call him Guy #1) --
approached and instructed me to immediately halt my distribution,
stating that I was "soliciting" material to audience members in line.
Everyone in the gang laughed and assumed that this guy had been part
of a ruse set up by someone on the LS staff. But he kept up his very
serious, very threatening pose, and said he was going to call the
cops. I told him they'd find me in Rupert's.
So I left the gang and entered what, while still called a deli, is now
considered a sacred sanctuary from all things police. Rupert was busy
overcharging his lunchtime customers, but I saw LS Security Guy #1
through the glass outside, talking to another gentleman with likewise
earpiece/stern-look-on-face. I asked Rupert who those guys were, and
all he did was shake his head and warned that I was in deep, deep
trouble. Rupert is always a soothing presence.
So I figured I'd try to patch things up with Guy #1; went up to both
#1 and #2 and acted contrite, apologized for challenging his
authority, not realizing earlier that he was actually serious, and
attempted to explain that there had been no "soliciting" going on,
just me handing out gifts to my fellow Dave-heads.
They'd have none of it. #1 said he'd received a complaint from
"upstairs" (from whom, I dunno; likely one of the pages outside who
alerted security) and kept on insisting that I was harassing the LS
audience, particularly because I didn't have a ticket to the show.
I kept on insisting that that wasn't the case and asked that they
contact their boss, Bill DeLace. #2 said, "You don't want to deal with
Bill DeLace." I said, "Yeah, I do." #2 then told me that he should
never see me on "the premises" ever again and then disgustedly walked
away.
Many thoughts were racing through my fragile and feeble brain: what
the hell had I done, and, boy, are these guys in trouble. So I
wandered back into the sanctuary, feeling like a wanted man on the
lam. After a short while I saw the Stengel brothers walk by, so I
raced out and caught up with them, explaining what was going on. Eric:
"We'll take care of it." Me to self: "Somehow I think they have other
priorities to deal with than this."
Stood for a bit outside, when Guy #2 comes by, doesn't approach me,
but I hear him talking into his mouthpiece, "Yeah, I'm by the stage
door; he's nearby."
So once again I slowly dashed (yes, an oxymoron) into the sanctuary
and waited for something terribly bad to happen, and soon, thinking,
"This is the best DaveCon ever!"
Eventually, the group, having secured their audience IDs,
fingerprints, and mugshots, returned, and, as always sympathetic
towards their fellow man, laughed their asses off. Meanwhile, I'm
about to be put in a box and sent to Gitmo.
Then some guy with a blank cap came by, asked who "Donz" was. I was
tempted to point to someone, anyone, but didn't think fast enough and
fessed up. Blank-cap guy was, let's call him "Jim," who works on the
show. At this point I didn't believe anyone who said who they were,
but he was friendly-insistent, and later showed me his LS ID card.
He apologized for the incident, said that everything was taken care
of. I would have liked to have believed him, but I noticed laser beams
pointed at my chest and forehead. Small comfort.
"Jim" said he had been instructed by Jude to set things straight
(bless the Jude), and that Bill DeLace would handle Guys #1 and #2.
Then saw the Wahoo Mike and tried to drag him toward Guy #2, but Mike,
once and always a cop, and instantly put me in a shoulder-hold,
pinning me to the ground, yelling, "don't move, punk, or say goodbye
to Skooder." Mike's still got it.
Then saw Gaines walk by; she just said, "It's taken care of" and kept
on walking.
Traci cornered Bill Scheft, so I had to regale him with my plight. He
pretended to care, too.
Will Lee walked by, but Micah managed to grab his ankles, so he had no
choice but to feign interest in our company until he saw an opening
and fled.
[Will is a great guy; with all that he's accomplished in the music
world, he remains a stand-up, normal person.]
Saw Guy #1 (the original "soliciting" accuser) and asked, "Are we
cool?" He said something to the effect of someone lacking a sense of
humor, or something, and walked away. My sense of relief was
underwhelming.
Finally, after the gang went back in line for the taping, I saw and
approached Mr. DeLace, who couldn't have been more, I guess the word
would be "comforting" -- I readily acknowledged that even though they
had been given faulty intelligence (where have we heard that before),
Guys #1 and #2 were simply doing their job. Still, Bill deeply
apologized for what had happened and extended his hand. Now _that_ was
reassuring, but I would have liked to have set things straight with #1
and 2.
Went home, still agitated and uncertain of my freedom, said my peace
with Skooder, tried to make arrangements for her feeding once I was
put away for life, but no one was around, and then returned to the Ed
to await the end of the show, after which someone would let me inside
for whatever Tony and his minstrels had in store for his little
nickelodeon extravaganza.
Waited outside; the show went long. Saw Teri Garr exit the stage door,
walk with great difficulty but with the loving help and care of
someone who seemed to be her care-giver/provider and some LS folk, and
enter her town car. That was sad to see but probably the most
uplifting part of the day -- a needed reminder of what truly mattered.
Now, back to the comedy.
Eventually, Wahoo/law-enforcer Mike came out and summoned me inside.
Spotted Guy #2 and wanted to settle with him. He said that since he
saw I was with Mike, all was cool, and then _he_ apologized for the
words spoken earlier. And we shook hands, and all was well with the
cosmos. One down, one still to go (I never saw Guy #1 after that).
Mike led me inside, and leaving the stage area was Paul, who seemed a
little baffled how I got in, but then Walter, who also greeted me, fed
him some line about me and the gang, which had been paraded into the
lobby, since Pat Farmer and his crew were busy tearing apart the
carpet in front of Dave's desk. Seems someone got a little sloppy with
their Jamba Juice. Traci.
Walter invited Paul to greet the gang, and Paul replied deadpan, "um,
no." Also said hey to Mr. Perfect Attendance Holder, Bruce Kapler.
Entered the lobby, where, I had learned later, Tony was waiting for me
so he and Jay and Walter could begin handling us like trained mice.
Seems they wanted me to star in something disgusting, and knowing how
uncomfortable I was in front of a camera, figured I was the perfect
stooge. As Helen told me afterwards, they've found both their Larry
Bud and Gary Mintz in one.
I'll leave the details of the TMS taping to others, who seemed less
than impressed with, let's call it, my "stage presence." I thanked
them all again for their compassion.
We were then instructed to gather under the marquee, when the
apparition of a Brad Hill suddenly hovered. There were Polaroids
taken, but I doubt the ghost-image was captured in the film.
I had to stick around for B-roll shots back inside the lobby while
everyone else left toward parts unknown. When we were done, I left by
the stage door and asked any passerby I could find where the DaveCon
dinner was. They stared and ran away. (Of course, I found out later
that near-everyone else had still been gathered under the marquee.
Thanks, gang!)
Dinner. Dr. Rod was there in a suit and tie. Man, did he fit in. I
made the mistake of asking him about any snafus in his practice, and
he then went on automatic. Something about a strong guy, a fat guy,
and a genius -- my mind drifted after Katycren uttered some disease in
Latin. Still, it helped kill 45 minutes.
Then Katycren seemed eager to give me her full life story, explaining
why she had married and divorced 10 men (and 2 women -- she was drunk
that one night), and how her toe had miraculously grown back after
surgery. There was another 30 minutes I'll never get back. Still, I
got to touch her pocketbook handle, so it was all worth it. Bostonbill
kept on trying to butt in, laughing about the Yankees being 3 and 60.
I ignored him.
We all contributed to Traci's phone bill, chatting it up with the
absentees Carl and Pat, who was serenaded on kazoos (which she sent to
Traci) with something I'll never be able to listen to again. Ever.
The lights flickered; the restaurant peoples wanted us out. Some of us
(against my will) reassembled in a bar, where new person Craig and I
shouted over the bar-noise. He has this Charlie-Manson look that makes
you want to agree with whatever he's saying.
The apparition/Brad than forced we remaining few into his hotel room
to watch the show. Here's a guy who's written around 400 "___ for
Dummies" books, plays the piano like a sunnofabitch, and is in charge
of something highly technical (and very very interesting in his world)
for a well-known computer-communications corporation.
He couldn't figure out how to turn the TV on.
I had to finally step in and point him to the "Power On" button.
Naturally, of all of the 5 billion channels available on his hotel
set, CBS wasn't among them.
So he opened up his laptop (hahahahaha::Dell::hahahahahaha) and tried
to access one of the DVDs I gave him.
Again, nothing but audio from the main menu page. I suddenly realized
that I've never actually seen with my own eyes Brad tickling the
ivories, just heard audio files of what's purportedly him. So now I'm
not sure of anything about him. I'll check to see if his "Dummies"
books are "as told to" enterprises.
Struggled home; it was near daybreak. Awoken at 8 am to the gentle
sounds of hammering and crashing from below.
This was, indeed, the best DaveCon ever.
Alan Page
--
Alan
~WWWWW~
What a Wonderful Web We Weave
"Donz5" <do...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:2d9ca0fd-32a4-4b27...@j22g2000hsf.googlegroups.com...
Donz5
> Holy crap...I gotta read this again?
I had to delete, then repost.
But I don't see the repost, just your reply.
Tom Cronin
> This'll be brief; I don't have any airport/train/bus/highway-traffic
> woes to share, other than when I departed the subway under Broadway/
> 50th St., there was a giant rat calmly strolling by on the platform,
> seemingly not at all alarmed by the mass of people descending upon its
> turf. An omen, I guess.
<SNIP>
> This was, indeed, the best DaveCon ever.
So you:
1) Got roughed up by a couple of goons
2) Got rescued at the last second by some LS Bigwigs
3) Almost married Kate
4) Became an overnight interweb sensation
5) Spent the night in a hotel room with Brad
Best Trip Report EVER!
Tom
Alan Page
"Donz5" wrote...
<snip> Don't worry, he posted it twice.
2nd best trip report ever.
Donz5
It had its good moments, yeah. But we missed you. Well, I missed you.
boston...@yahoo.com
We were ready to start Donz's Ryker's Island Vacation thread.
Bill, trip report one of these days.
Alan Page
"Donz5" wrote...
> I had to delete, then repost.
> But I don't see the repost, just your reply.
You people and your Google. It was all there.
Have you seen today's Google logo?
www.google.com
First day of summer, it starts at 7:59 PM Eastern.
boston...@yahoo.com
>
> - Show quoted text -
Riker's Island
Maxx
>So you:
>1) Got roughed up by a couple of goons
>2) Got rescued at the last second by some LS Bigwigs
>3) Almost married Kate
>4) Became an overnight interweb sensation
>5) Spent the night in a hotel room with Brad
Ah, but were there any feathers?
Sorry I couldn't have been there to join the others in laughing my ass off
at you, but your "trip" report, so to speak, did have me laughing my ass off
here at home. Action! Drama! Thrills!
Don't call me.
maxx
Bob/Nekk
Hey, family gave me a few minutes. I saw this from the start, in fact
I'm a witness, started to laugh, I just couldn't believe this.
When this guy approached Donz telling him to stop, Donz, told him
that these were his friends, he wasn't doing anything wrong. After a
few more one liners from Donz, the guy started to talk to his sleeve
asking the sleeve for Bill Delace. That was made me join in on the
fun. I told the guy, " Hey look, we got buttons!!!" I forgot to
mention the gazoos, rats. Now it come to my head. Then this guy says,
"You all think this is funny? You think I'm joking? You think I'm
not serious?" Then I said to this guy, "No, I think 'WE'RE funny."
That was when I couldn't stop smiling, laughing, thinking about this
guy's future when he finds out just who Donz really is. In fact, Donz
saying 'go ahead, arrest me' made me wonder a bit. Rats. my time's
up, ok, I'll post tomorrow.
Brad Hill
>> I suddenly realized
that I've never actually seen with my own eyes Brad tickling the
ivories, just heard audio files of what's purportedly him. So now I'm
not sure of anything about him. I'll check to see if his "Dummies"
books are "as told to" enterprises.
Outsourced, Chinese high school kid, etc..
Brad
pfl...@mac.com
> This'll be brief...
Hahahahahahahaha!
> We all contributed to Traci's phone bill, chatting it up with the
> absentees Carl and Pat, who was serenaded on kazoos (which she sent to
> Traci) with something I'll never be able to listen to again. Ever.
See that? For me, "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" is now, and shall
always be, sweet music to my ears.
Big thanks to Traci for allowing me to be passed around the noisy
table.
Tom Cronin
> Big thanks to Traci for allowing me to be passed around the noisy
> table.
Yes! Thank you, Traci! It was so much fun talking to everyb...
Oh, wait. Never mind.
Tom
Pat Fleet
> Yes! Thank you, Traci! It was so much fun talking to everyb...
> Oh, wait. Never mind.
Cowboys use cell phones? Who knew?
Sharon Page
"Donz5" wrote:
<...>
WPI needs to develop this into
a new summer sit-com.
Oh! my gawd! :-)
SLP
******
Maybe
> Hey, family gave me a few minutes.�[snip] Rats. my time's
> up, ok, I'll post tomorrow.
When are you going to get your own computer and not have to rely on
your family to dole out minutes for you to use their computer? What
are you doing with that money we gave you for your birthday to get the
stupid computer? You should have it by now!
Maybe...glad you had a good time at DaveCon
Bill Kawalec
> This'll be brief; and yadda, yadda, yadda
I'd just like to say this; I could tell that first phrase was a lie, and I
proceeded with caution, figuring 'ain't no way in hell I'm reading this
whole thing.' While I did pass on the second posting, I did find the first
one entertaining enough to actually get to the end of.
One question; did you ever finish "soliciting" the DVDs?
:-)
Donz5
Yep; I had some left over, so I managed to sell them to unknown, out-
of-town audience members after the show ended. Win-Win.
Alan Page
"Donz5" wrote...
> This'll be brief...
Liar!
> Suddenly one of the LS Security goons -- I mean -- fine gentlemen
> protecting LS audiences from undesirables (we'll call him Guy #1) --
> approached and instructed me to immediately halt my distribution,
> stating that I was "soliciting" material to audience members in line.
Bastard.
> Everyone in the gang laughed and assumed that this guy had been part
> of a ruse set up by someone on the LS staff. But he kept up his very
> serious, very threatening pose, and said he was going to call the
> cops. I told him they'd find me in Rupert's.
Nice you had support from your fellow aflers.
> So I left the gang and entered what, while still called a deli, is now
> considered a sacred sanctuary from all things police. Rupert was busy
> overcharging his lunchtime customers, but I saw LS Security Guy #1
> through the glass outside, talking to another gentleman with likewise
> earpiece/stern-look-on-face. I asked Rupert who those guys were, and
> all he did was shake his head and warned that I was in deep, deep
> trouble. Rupert is always a soothing presence.
Rupert knows the strong-arms of the show.
> So I figured I'd try to patch things up with Guy #1; went up to both
> #1 and #2 and acted contrite, apologized for challenging his
> authority, not realizing earlier that he was actually serious, and
> attempted to explain that there had been no "soliciting" going on,
> just me handing out gifts to my fellow Dave-heads.
Have you ever been arrested for "soliciting" on the streets of NYC?
> They'd have none of it. #1 said he'd received a complaint from
> "upstairs" (from whom, I dunno; likely one of the pages outside who
> alerted security) and kept on insisting that I was harassing the LS
> audience, particularly because I didn't have a ticket to the show.
They don't give those jobs to chimps.
> I kept on insisting that that wasn't the case and asked that they
> contact their boss, Bill DeLace. #2 said, "You don't want to deal with
> Bill DeLace." I said, "Yeah, I do." #2 then told me that he should
> never see me on "the premises" ever again and then disgustedly walked
> away.
Smart bastards.
> Many thoughts were racing through my fragile and feeble brain: what
> the hell had I done, and, boy, are these guys in trouble. So I
> wandered back into the sanctuary, feeling like a wanted man on the
> lam. After a short while I saw the Stengel brothers walk by, so I
> raced out and caught up with them, explaining what was going on. Eric:
> "We'll take care of it." Me to self: "Somehow I think they have other
> priorities to deal with than this."
Dake might disagree with you on that last statement.
> Stood for a bit outside, when Guy #2 comes by, doesn't approach me,
> but I hear him talking into his mouthpiece, "Yeah, I'm by the stage
> door; he's nearby."
Don't you just love them 'lectronics?
> So once again I slowly dashed (yes, an oxymoron) into the sanctuary
> and waited for something terribly bad to happen, and soon, thinking,
> "This is the best DaveCon ever!"
Chicken.
> Eventually, the group, having secured their audience IDs,
> fingerprints, and mugshots, returned, and, as always sympathetic
> towards their fellow man, laughed their asses off. Meanwhile, I'm
> about to be put in a box and sent to Gitmo.
You can go there even if you're not guilty.
> Then some guy with a blank cap came by, asked who "Donz" was. I was
> tempted to point to someone, anyone, but didn't think fast enough and
> fessed up. Blank-cap guy was Tom Foster, LS Writers Researcher. At
> this point I didn't believe anyone who said who they were, but he was
> friendly-insistent, and later showed me his LS ID card.
Blank cap...hasn't gotten his stripes yet.
> He apologized for the incident, said that everything was taken care
> of. I would have liked to have believed him, but I noticed laser beams
> pointed at my chest and forehead. Small comfort.
Those were beams from Dave's eyes on the TMS the other day.
> Tom said he had been instructed by Jude to set things straight (bless
> the Jude), and that Bill DeLace would handle Guys #1 and #2. Then saw
> the Wahoo Mike and tried to drag him toward Guy #2, but Mike, once and
> always a cop, and instantly put me in a shoulder-hold, pinning me to
> the ground, yelling, "don't move, punk, or say goodbye to Skooder."
> Mike's still got it.
I swear he's still the best announcer on the TMS.
> Then saw Gaines walk by; she just said, "It's taken care of" and kept
> on walking.
I'm betting she "walked" a bit faster when she saw you.
> Traci cornered Bill Scheft, so I had to regale him with my plight. He
> pretended to care, too.
Like we all do.
> Will Lee walked by, but Micah managed to grab his ankles, so he had no
> choice but to feign interest in our company until he saw an opening
> and fled.
He's slippery.
> [Will is a great guy; with all that he's accomplished in the music
> world, he remains a stand-up, normal person.]
He was 3.5 years ago when we met him on the street corner.
> Saw Guy #1 (the original "soliciting" accuser) and asked, "Are we
> cool?" He said something to the effect of someone lacking a sense of
> humor, or something, and walked away. My sense of relief was
> underwhelming.
You've been Punk'd!
> Finally, after the gang went back in line for the taping, I saw and
> approached Mr. DeLace, who couldn't have been more, I guess the word
> would be "comforting" -- I readily acknowledged that even though they
> had been given faulty intelligence (where have we heard that before),
> Guys #1 and #2 were simply doing their job. Still, Bill deeply
> apologized for what had happened and extended his hand. Now _that_ was
> reassuring, but I would have liked to have set things straight with #1
> and 2.
Like that will stop them from obtaining yet another restraining order.
> Went home, still agitated and uncertain of my freedom, said my peace
> with Skooder, tried to make arrangements for her feeding once I was
> put away for life, but no one was around, and then returned to the Ed
> to await the end of the show, after which someone would let me inside
> for whatever Tony and his minstrels had in store for his little
> nickelodeon extravaganza.
Poor Skooder.
> Waited outside; the show went long. Saw Teri Garr exit the stage door,
> walk with great difficulty but with the loving help and care of
> someone who seemed to be her care-giver/provider and some LS folk, and
> enter her town car. That was sad to see but probably the most
> uplifting part of the day -- a needed reminder of what truly mattered.
Amen.
> Now, back to the comedy.
"Back" to comedy?
> Eventually, Wahoo/law-enforcer Mike came out and summoned me inside.
> Spotted Guy #2 and wanted to settle with him. He said that since he
> saw I was with Mike, all was cool, and then _he_ apologized for the
> words spoken earlier. And we shook hands, and all was well with the
> cosmos. One down, one still to go (I never saw Guy #1 after that).
It's obvious that Mikey pays #2 to be his friend.
> We were then instructed to gather under the marquee, when the
> apparition of a Brad Hill suddenly hovered. There were Polaroids
> taken, but I doubt the ghost-image was captured in the film.
Too bad Polaroid is stopping the manufacture of their film soon...no way
to find the ghosts anymore.
> He couldn't figure out how to turn the TV on.
Don't you just love them 'lectronics?
> I had to finally step in and point him to the "Power On" button.
Don't you just love them 'lectronics?
> Naturally, of all of the 5 billion channels available on his hotel
> set, CBS wasn't among them.
Don't you just love them 'lectronics?
> So he opened up his laptop (hahahahaha::Dell::hahahahahaha) and tried
> to access one of the DVDs I gave him.
Don't you just love them 'lectronics?
> This was, indeed, the best DaveCon ever.
Cool report.
Alan Page
>> [Will is a great guy; with all that he's accomplished in the music
>> world, he remains a stand-up, normal person.]
"Alan Page" wrote...
> He was 3.5 years ago when we met him on the street corner.
5.5. He was 5.5 years ago when we met him on the street corner.
--
Alan (Math not that good)
ezmama1d
> This'll be brief; I don't have any airport/train/bus/highway-traffic
> woes to share, other than when I departed the subway under Broadway/
> 50th St., there was a giant rat calmly strolling by on the platform,
> seemingly not at all alarmed by the mass of people descending upon its
> turf. An omen, I guess.
>
Rats just love NY
great report....
.... and thanks for the CD's and glad you weren't hauled off in
a cop car!!!!
renee
our rats love the subways
Bill Kawalec
aha!! So you **were** soliciting...
Donz5
If you try to play the DVDs on your CD player, you may not see
anything.
Donz5
> "Donz5" <do...@aol.com> wrote in message
>
> news:b1409df6-5f9c-4d8a...@m73g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> On Jun 20, 9:13 pm, "Bill Kawalec" <billkawa...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> > "Donz5" <do...@aol.com> wrote in message
>
> >news:e54ec076-126a-4601...@s50g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
>
> > > This'll be brief; and yadda, yadda, yadda
>
> > I'd just like to say this; I could tell that first phrase was a lie, and I
> > proceeded with caution, figuring 'ain't no way in hell I'm reading this
> > whole thing.' While I did pass on the second posting, I did find the first
> > one entertaining enough to actually get to the end of.
> > One question; did you ever finish "soliciting" the DVDs?
> > :-)
>
> Yep; I had some left over, so I managed to sell them to unknown, out-
> of-town audience members after the show ended. Win-Win.
>
> aha!! So you **were** soliciting...
I forgot to mention that DeLace and Guys #1 and 2 collected the cash
and handed out change.
TheTubbyHubby
Skooder from our Thursday night Late Show Chat Room doesn't recall you
feeding her. Expect a phone call over the weekend!
Glad you had a good time.
Anthony
R H Draney
>> .... and thanks for the CD's and glad you weren't hauled off in
>> a cop car!!!!
>
>If you try to play the DVDs on your CD player, you may not see
>anything.
If by "anything" you mean "blue smoke and sparks", you may just be wrong....r
--
What good is being an executive if you never get to execute anyone?
Libby
giggling uncontrollably.
I like New York in June,
How about you?
I like the Late Show goons,
How about you?
I like the manic pages, the deep blue stage and the warm up guy,
I like buttons and mints, cards that Mike prints, and Traci's pie.
I like the trip reports,
How about you?
I like the photographs,
How about you?
I'd like to be under the marquee waiting in line,
Hey who's that guy hawking CDs, wait, he's a friend of mine.
I guess if I can't be there in person
This will have to do, cause I like New York,
The Late Show, and all of you.
dyo...@ksu.edu
1. Thanks for a tremendous report.
2. It was good of Bill DeLace to make it right with Donz.
3. Dave owes Donz a fig tree.
David D
DDY's Late Show Fan Page
http://www.ddy.com/dl3.html
Terry
>
> - Show quoted text -
Let's not ignore the point that most LS security and some of the pages
are assholes.
Greg Evans
incarceration snipped.
Donz wrote:
> where new person Craig and I shouted over the bar-noise. He has this
> Charlie-Manson look that makes you want to agree with whatever he's
> saying.
Umm... thanks? Thank goodness I got a hair cut, or there's no telling
what sort of demented serial killer you might have compared me to.
Greg
foxysc...@yahoo.com
> If you try to play the DVDs on your CD player, you may not see
> anything.- Hide quoted text -
>
Nice shot...thanks! I don't think anyone is as dumb as I am.
Great trip report - I didn't arrive until after you had all the
trouble so I'm glad you documented it. This is quite momentous - your
writing a trip report! Proof again that this DaveCon was a special
one!
ezmama1d
>
no wonder none of my netflix ever work
renee
our rats loved the DVD's!!!!
boston...@yahoo.com
>
> - Show quoted text -
I'll say the pages we encountered were very nice and wanted to know
all about the group.
Some of us were hanging on 53rd early and Mr DeLace was pretty cool
with us.
Bill
Donz5
> Donz' interminable whinging about his unfortunate near
> incarceration snipped.
Whinging? I'm a bhreast man; the whings are nothing but shkin and
bhone.
>
> Donz wrote:
> > where new person Craig and I shouted over the bar-noise. He has this
> > Charlie-Manson look that makes you want to agree with whatever he's
> > saying.
>
> Umm... thanks? Thank goodness I got a hair cut, or there's no telling
> what sort of demented serial killer you might have compared me to.
>
> Greg
Not to worry; it'd still be Manson. I liked your Dennis Wilson
impression, though.
Donz5
You were there -- you're 3 shots before Guy #1 in Rod's roll. You were
too busy posing for pictures to notice any impending calamity
happening right next to you.
Donz5
That's the thing -- I wish whichever presumed page that had observed
the "disturbance" had first approached us before alerting security;
this could have all been averted after we'd have beaten him up into a
pulp.
Traci
> That's the thing -- I wish whichever presumed page that had observed
> the "disturbance" had first approached us before alerting security;
> this could have all been averted after we'd have beaten him up into a
> pulp.
>
I'm sure the pages are instructed to not approach, but to let the
professional security dudes handle it. And that's the way it should be.
The pages aren't getting paid as, nor are they trained as security. They
are there to direct traffic, make sure the ticketing goes smoothly and
answer questions. Anything beyond that I'm sure security handles.
I gotta say the pages we dealt with this year were great. There was the
kid from Hong Kong, who I kept calling Paul, but not sure that was his
name. Then there was Paul from SLC who was freakin' hilarious. All in
all I found the pages to be personable and polite and as always
completely and utterly dumbfounded by our group.
Traci
--
"Not only do I want an *elite* president. I want someone who is
embarrassingly superior to me. Somebody who speaks 16 languages and
sleeps two hours a night hanging upside down in a chamber they
themselves designed."
--Jon Stewart, TDS
Donz5
> Donz5 says...
>
> > That's the thing -- I wish whichever presumed page that had observed
> > the "disturbance" had first approached us before alerting security;
> > this could have all been averted after we'd have beaten him up into a
> > pulp.
>
> I'm sure the pages are instructed to not approach, but to let the
> professional security dudes handle it. And that's the way it should be.
> The pages aren't getting paid as, nor are they trained as security. They
> are there to direct traffic, make sure the ticketing goes smoothly and
> answer questions. Anything beyond that I'm sure security handles.
Then I wish that the presumed page (or pages) had observed the
interaction with more scrutiny to better accurately understand what
was going on before hitting the panic button.
boston...@yahoo.com
>
> - Show quoted text -
Good point. I guess the security guard who hasseled you didnt see us
ignoring you or acting like we didnt want to be bothered. Rookie.
Bill
Donz5
I was thinking last night that I should have identified you all by
name, so that he would perhaps be persuaded that we all knew each
other, but then I had the same thought as you -- you'd all stare
blankly, being helpful as always: "This is Marilyn." "No, my name is
Janet, you pervert." And everyone else looking up at the sky. Then
there'd be physical contact, and the next words out of my mouth
probably would have been, "Don't tase me, bro!"
Hey, a plot for next year's TMS/DaveCon episode.
Bill Lehecka
the longest trip reports I've ever read...
Irony. It rules!
Great recap.
Donz5
> I like how Donz starts of with "This'll be brief", then writes one of
> the longest trip reports I've ever read...
I think Helen's are much longer, but she breaks it up into 18 smaller
parts.
>
> Irony. It rules!
>
> Great recap.
I like it when you're drunk.
I didn't mention the one-on-one Bill L. and I had on the great mystery
called dating, DDY's tornado saga, DeadGuy's flor-de-lis, Nek's
preference for the lower bunk at camp, Keith's and Rocco's new hair
stylists, or Micah's brush with Tony Randall at the Kennedy Center.
boston...@yahoo.com
I'm still wondering about Marilyn's 25 kids and what was in the water
at Smith's.
Bill
Marilyn
>I'm still wondering about Marilyn's 25 kids and what was in the water at
>Smith's.
I always pictured you as having about 25 kids.
Me: What? GIVL YOU! What the... what do I look like?
In your DAYCARE!
Me: Oooooohhhh. Phew!
Bob/Nekk
> On Jun 20, 2:56�pm, "Bob/Nekk" <Nek...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> > Hey, family gave me a few minutes.�[snip] Rats. my time's
> > up, ok, I'll post tomorrow.
>
> When are you going to get your own computer and not have to rely on
> your family to dole out minutes for you to use their computer? What
> are you doing with that money we gave you for your birthday to get the
> stupid computer? You should have it by now!
>
> Maybe...glad you had a good time at DaveCon
Ok, easy there gal, you know, as I was traveling to the store, I
needed gas money, and well, you can figure out the rest.
But kidding around, yes, Maybe, I'll be getting one soon, money is
safe in a bank. Thanks for telling the world about this, sheeeeeesh!
Family wants me to babysit every now and then, just like, well,
like tonight! So, the computer on a stick is my way of coming over.
It's funny here, last night I was trying to post as fast as I could,
while a lot of my neice's friends, family, and strangers all started
piling into this house for the after grad party. Tonight, it's
quiet. Everybody wanted to go out.
Tomorrow night, radio material by myself, my co-host has to
babysit his own kids, lol. Special guest tomorrow night, the "Tubby
Hubby" himself. Next week, the Warrior Poetes, yeah baby!
Bermuda999
> This'll be brief; I don't have any airport/train/bus/highway-traffic
> woes to share, other than when I departed the subway under Broadway/
> 50th St., there was a giant rat calmly strolling by on the platform,
> seemingly not at all alarmed by the mass of people descending upon its
> turf. An omen, I guess.
>
> in the place now known as Angelo's (next door to the marquee), then to
> everyone else when they went outside to stand in line and do whatever
> they're supposed to do for their tickets. All good, all sweet, hugs,
> handshakes, laughs, sobs, trading shoelaces, the usual.
>
> Suddenly one of the LS Security goons -- I mean -- fine gentlemen
> protecting LS audiences from undesirables (we'll call him Guy #1) --
> approached and instructed me to immediately halt my distribution,
> stating that I was "soliciting" material to audience members in line.
>
> Everyone in the gang laughed and assumed that this guy had been part
> of a ruse set up by someone on the LS staff. But he kept up his very
> serious, very threatening pose, and said he was going to call the
> cops. I told him they'd find me in Rupert's.
>
> So I left the gang and entered what, while still called a deli, is now
> considered a sacred sanctuary from all things police. Rupert was busy
> overcharging his lunchtime customers, but I saw LS Security Guy #1
> through the glass outside, talking to another gentleman with likewise
> earpiece/stern-look-on-face. I asked Rupert who those guys were, and
> all he did was shake his head and warned that I was in deep, deep
> trouble. Rupert is always a soothing presence.
>
> So I figured I'd try to patch things up with Guy #1; went up to both
> #1 and #2 and acted contrite, apologized for challenging his
> authority, not realizing earlier that he was actually serious, and
> attempted to explain that there had been no "soliciting" going on,
> just me handing out gifts to my fellow Dave-heads.
>
> They'd have none of it. #1 said he'd received a complaint from
> "upstairs" (from whom, I dunno; likely one of the pages outside who
> alerted security) and kept on insisting that I was harassing the LS
> audience, particularly because I didn't have a ticket to the show.
>
> I kept on insisting that that wasn't the case and asked that they
> contact their boss, Bill DeLace. #2 said, "You don't want to deal with
> Bill DeLace." I said, "Yeah, I do." #2 then told me that he should
> never see me on "the premises" ever again and then disgustedly walked
> away.
>
> Many thoughts were racing through my fragile and feeble brain: what
> the hell had I done, and, boy, are these guys in trouble. So I
> wandered back into the sanctuary, feeling like a wanted man on the
> lam. After a short while I saw the Stengel brothers walk by, so I
> raced out and caught up with them, explaining what was going on. Eric:
> "We'll take care of it." Me to self: "Somehow I think they have other
> priorities to deal with than this."
>
> Stood for a bit outside, when Guy #2 comes by, doesn't approach me,
> but I hear him talking into his mouthpiece, "Yeah, I'm by the stage
> door; he's nearby."
>
> So once again I slowly dashed (yes, an oxymoron) into the sanctuary
> and waited for something terribly bad to happen, and soon, thinking,
> "This is the best DaveCon ever!"
>
> Eventually, the group, having secured their audience IDs,
> fingerprints, and mugshots, returned, and, as always sympathetic
> towards their fellow man, laughed their asses off. Meanwhile, I'm
> about to be put in a box and sent to Gitmo.
>
> Then some guy with a blank cap came by, asked who "Donz" was. I was
> tempted to point to someone, anyone, but didn't think fast enough and
> fessed up. Blank-cap guy was, let's call him "Jim," who works on the
> show. At this point I didn't believe anyone who said who they were,
> but he was friendly-insistent, and later showed me his LS ID card.
>
> He apologized for the incident, said that everything was taken care
> of. I would have liked to have believed him, but I noticed laser beams
> pointed at my chest and forehead. Small comfort.
>
> "Jim" said he had been instructed by Jude to set things straight
> (bless the Jude), and that Bill DeLace would handle Guys #1 and #2.
> Then saw the Wahoo Mike and tried to drag him toward Guy #2, but Mike,
> once and always a cop, and instantly put me in a shoulder-hold,
> pinning me to the ground, yelling, "don't move, punk, or say goodbye
> to Skooder." Mike's still got it.
>
> Then saw Gaines walk by; she just said, "It's taken care of" and kept
> on walking.
>
> Traci cornered Bill Scheft, so I had to regale him with my plight. He
> pretended to care, too.
>
> Will Lee walked by, but Micah managed to grab his ankles, so he had no
> choice but to feign interest in our company until he saw an opening
> and fled.
>
> [Will is a great guy; with all that he's accomplished in the music
> world, he remains a stand-up, normal person.]
>
> Saw Guy #1 (the original "soliciting" accuser) and asked, "Are we
> cool?" He said something to the effect of someone lacking a sense of
> humor, or something, and walked away. My sense of relief was
> underwhelming.
>
> Finally, after the gang went back in line for the taping, I saw and
> approached Mr. DeLace, who couldn't have been more, I guess the word
> would be "comforting" -- I readily acknowledged that even though they
> had been given faulty intelligence (where have we heard that before),
> Guys #1 and #2 were simply doing their job. Still, Bill deeply
> apologized for what had happened and extended his hand. Now _that_ was
> reassuring, but I would have liked to have set things straight with #1
> and 2.
>
> Went home, still agitated and uncertain of my freedom, said my peace
> with Skooder, tried to make arrangements for her feeding once I was
> put away for life, but no one was around, and then returned to the Ed
> to await the end of the show, after which someone would let me inside
> for whatever Tony and his minstrels had in store for his little
> nickelodeon extravaganza.
>
> Waited outside; the show went long. Saw Teri Garr exit the stage door,
> walk with great difficulty but with the loving help and care of
> someone who seemed to be her care-giver/provider and some LS folk, and
> enter her town car. That was sad to see but probably the most
> uplifting part of the day -- a needed reminder of what truly mattered.
>
> Now, back to the comedy.
>
> Eventually, Wahoo/law-enforcer Mike came out and summoned me inside.
> Spotted Guy #2 and wanted to settle with him. He said that since he
> saw I was with Mike, all was cool, and then _he_ apologized for the
> words spoken earlier. And we shook hands, and all was well with the
> cosmos. One down, one still to go (I never saw Guy #1 after that).
>
> Mike led me inside, and leaving the stage area was Paul, who seemed a
> little baffled how I got in, but then Walter, who also greeted me, fed
> him some line about me and the gang, which had been paraded into the
> lobby, since Pat Farmer and his crew were busy tearing apart the
> carpet in front of Dave's desk. Seems someone got a little sloppy with
> their Jamba Juice. Traci.
>
> Walter invited Paul to greet the gang, and Paul replied deadpan, "um,
> no." Also said hey to Mr. Perfect Attendance Holder, Bruce Kapler.
>
> Entered the lobby, where, I had learned later, Tony was waiting for me
> so he and Jay and Walter could begin handling us like trained mice.
> Seems they wanted me to star in something disgusting, and knowing how
> uncomfortable I was in front of a camera, figured I was the perfect
> stooge. As Helen told me afterwards, they've found both their Larry
> Bud and Gary Mintz in one.
>
> I'll leave the details of the TMS taping to others, who seemed less
> than impressed with, let's call it, my "stage presence." I thanked
> them all again for their compassion.
>
> We were then instructed to gather under the marquee, when the
> apparition of a Brad Hill suddenly hovered. There were Polaroids
> taken, but I doubt the ghost-image was captured in the film.
>
> I had to stick around for B-roll shots back inside the lobby while
> everyone else left toward parts unknown. When we were done, I left by
> the stage door and asked any passerby I could find where the DaveCon
> dinner was. They stared and ran away. (Of course, I found out later
> that near-everyone else had still been gathered under the marquee.
> Thanks, gang!)
>
> Dinner. Dr. Rod was there in a suit and tie. Man, did he fit in. I
> made the mistake of asking him about any snafus in his practice, and
> he then went on automatic. Something about a strong guy, a fat guy,
> and a genius -- my mind drifted after Katycren uttered some disease in
> Latin. Still, it helped kill 45 minutes.
>
> Then Katycren seemed eager to give me her full life story, explaining
> why she had married and divorced 10 men (and 2 women -- she was drunk
> that one night), and how her toe had miraculously grown back after
> surgery. There was another 30 minutes I'll never get back. Still, I
> got to touch her pocketbook handle, so it was all worth it. Bostonbill
> kept on trying to butt in, laughing about the Yankees being 3 and 60.
> I ignored him.
>
> We all contributed to Traci's phone bill, chatting it up with the
> absentees Carl and Pat, who was serenaded on kazoos (which she sent to
> Traci) with something I'll never be able to listen to again. Ever.
>
> The lights flickered; the restaurant peoples wanted us out. Some of us
> (against my will) reassembled in a bar, where new person Craig and I
> shouted over the bar-noise. He has this Charlie-Manson look that makes
> you want to agree with whatever he's saying.
>
> to watch the show.
Then. The apparition/Brad then forced we remaining few into his hotel
room
to watch the show
Donz5
> ...
>
Yes. Thank you. Spotted post-post.
boston...@yahoo.com
I think your argument is with Brady not me ;)
Maybe
> But kidding around, yes, Maybe, I'll be getting one soon, money is
> safe in a bank. �Thanks for telling the world about this, sheeeeeesh!
Well, you got it on the air on your radio show so I didn't think it
was a secret.
Maybe...don't let the sister and BIL push you around anymore
Pat Fleet
> I like New York in June,
> How about you?
> I like the Late Show goons,
> How about you?
> I like the manic pages, the deep blue stage and the warm up guy,
> I like buttons and mints, cards that Mike prints, and Traci's pie.
> I like the trip reports,
> How about you?
> I like the photographs,
> How about you?
> I'd like to be under the marquee waiting in line,
> Hey who's that guy hawking CDs, wait, he's a friend of mine.
>
> I guess if I can't be there in person
> This will have to do, cause I like New York,
> The Late Show, and all of you.
Fabulous, Libby! Love this!
Marilyn
>Marilynwrote:
> BostonBill wrote:
> >I'm still wondering about Marilyn's 25 kids and what was in the water at
> >Smith's.
>I think your argument is with Brady not me ;)
No, now it's with you. You're STILL wondering!
Brady
You tell him, my fertile friend.
Brady
Daisy in cicero
You are a fablous writer
I really enjoyed it all ll
One Question ?
Were they really trying to stump the Donz??
Love Daisy
heys...@yahoo.com
Letterman taping for that matter.
-Your Illinois muscle, Stu