ON YOUR KNEES FOR ED CONRAD

[Preston Duquene]

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This is Atty. Melvin Goldberg of the law firm of O'Brien, O'Toole,
O'Connor and Goldberg in Lower Manhattan.
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Our new client -- one Ed Conrad -- has informed us that
he soon will be sued from here to Kingdom Come for his
recent slanderous remarks about members of the Scientific
Establishment.
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Mr. Conrad fears losing not only all of his money but also
his pants in a class-action law suit currently being prepared
by atheists, evolutionists, The Smithsonian, the talk.origins
news group and boards of directors (in some cases trustees
or regents) of many of the nation's most prestigious U.S
colleges and universities.
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(In fact, the Catholic Church also may try to part of the lawsuit
because, unless you were born yesterday, you're aware
that even the Vatican is rather upset that Ed's been saying
NOBODY BURNS IN HELL.)
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As for the sci folks, they vehemently insist Mr. Conrad slandered
them all over the Internet by calling them" a bunch of phonies"
-- his words, certainly not ours -- for accusing them almost on
a daily basis of collusion and conspiracy for perpetrating the fraud
of the Darwinian Theory of (man's) Evolution, even though he says
they ALL KNOW it's an absolute absurdity.
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Ed, you see, has assured us that HE IS RIGHT -- that the theory
is phonier than a brand-nw $8 bill.

And, to make matters worse, he has been proclaiming for decades
that the Darwin Theory isn't backed up by enough physical evidence
to fit on the head of a pin.
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We here at O'Brien, O'Toole, O'Connor and Goldberg have no
opinion whether Mr. Conrad is right and the entire Scientific
Establishment wrong. This is because three of us -- except for
Attorney O'Brien -- flunked all of our science classes in law school.
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However, we believe miracles DO HAPPEN and Ed may end up
with only a slap on the wrist for being a harmless kook -- and,
besides, we certainly can use the extra cash (as lawyers often can).
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Despite the mountain of evidence that undoubtedly will be stacked
against Mr. Conrad, perhaps a miracle WILL HAPPEN.
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This indeed is a possibility because, after all, Ed is -- or was --
a very good friend of David Fellin whom most of you know was --
and probably still is -- a very good friend of God.
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Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.
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Click on
http:///www.edconrad.org
if you don't believe him.
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MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.ed-conrad/msg/522305f02e955b66
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http://www.edconrad.com
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"We can forgive a child
who is afraid of the dark.
The real tragedy of life
is when men are afraid
of the light." -- Plato
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THERE SHE BLOWS!
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
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