forget what i just said

[whorella mundane]

i am driving myself insane.

the farmer says "you think too much" - so obviously i'm smarter than
him.
(i know that makes no sense - that's my dry sense of humor)

oh i know i'm stupid but you know what? i'm not stupid about this.
and it drives me nuts. hear me out.

everyone else is stupid about love. not me.

why?

i'll fucking tell you.

because the rest of you get your hearts busted up
just like i do.

so i think "go for it while you can"

'cause you could be dead tomorrow.
seriously. the farmer's going with it. he is.
i'm not talking about him - just in general.

even with the rules about what's allowed and when
and not fucking on the first date
the goal of dating is to prove
that you're not in love.

then the stupidest shit in the world starts.
the whole "third monkey" thing and not calling
even if you want to. can't appear too eager.
too needy. too anything.

as if eager and needy are the same.

i know you're supposed to get to know someone
before you go blurting out "love" but ...
we never know

so why should i drag this out?
slowing down doesn't make it last.

i am a friend to him, okay?

here's the fucking thing about him too dag nab it!

he thinks too much - but unlike me
he doesn't talk too much.

i'm doing this.


this is all me arguing with myself like ...

like i should ignore him for a few days
just to prove i can.

even though i love texting him the big news of my life like
how i saw my first river rat today. so i'm not going to stop.

i'm just going to continue doing this "be yourself" thing

he does wonder if i'm crazy
but he likes it.

he's not claiming to be sane, okay?
i think you'd have to be crazy
to want to be a farmer.