Offishul alt.usenet.kooks award descriptions

[Nadegda]

The New Cabal (tinnc) Tetrarchy is proud to present the revised and
updated list of New Cabal (tinnc) Kook Awards!

The Tetrarchy (tint) welcomes feedback from any and all non-kooks,
and will take suggestions offered in good faith under advisement;
however, the Tetrarchy reserves the right not to implement any given
suggestion, and 2012's Kook of the Year Murphy reserves the right to
kook out bigtime over the semicolon earlier in this sentence.


Monthly Core Awards
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Kook of the Month Award

Every month special recognition is given to someone whose Kookery is
judged to have surpassed all others. This is the Kook of the Month award
(KotM), voted by the denizens of AUK.

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Clueless Newbie of the Month Award

The Clueless Newbie of the Month (CNotM) is pretty much the same sort of
thing as the KotM, but honors spectacular cluelessness on Usenet rather
than Kookery. Actually being a newbie is not a strict requirement for
eligibility; but the type of cluelessness being recognized needs to be
of the sort typical of newbies. If someone has been on the net for some
time and still acts like a newbie, they're eligible.

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Coward of the Month Award

This award is given to people who don't follow up on threats, or respond
to hard questions. Or who run when confronted. Or who thump their chests
and proclaim how brave they are... whilst avoiding direct confrontation
with their adversaries, instead replying to replies to their adversaries
or sniping at them from behind a killfile or 'ignore list' or alternate
pseudonym. Or other cowardly acts AUK can be convinced of. Given to the
most cowardly, yellow-bellied, craven Usenet chicken of the month.

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Nutless Gutless Award

This award is analogous to 'Coward of the Month'-lite. For those posters
who don't quite rise to the level of CotM, but are still worthy of being
recognized for their nutless gutless cowardice.

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Loony Maroon Award

The Loony Maroon Award is given based on the amount of childish,
nonsensical, funny and downright ludicrous behavior exhibited over a
particular month. It is not meant to award the greatest overall Kook for
that time, but is meant as a recognition of outstandingly loony behavior
by an individual or group. Nominees from Usenet and beyond are eligible.

To win the LMA, a candidate must most strongly meet a majority of the
following criteria:
* Show intelligence off the deep end of the bell curve

* Consistently say things that are hideously nonsensical

* Prove themselves wrong while pretending to be an 'expert'

* Exhibit a passion for metaphorically banging their head against a wall

* Be profoundly ignorant

* Persistently refuse to allow themselves to be enlightened

* Demonstrate a gift for false prophecy

* Regularly cite questionable sources of information as 'fact'

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Golden Killfile Award

Given to the most killfile-worthy net.kooks on Usenet. This award
recognizes exceptional killfileable merit; if you are unworthy enough to
be ignored by everyone on the face of the earth, you are eligible for
this award.

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Pathetic Anal Pineapple Award

The "Pineapple" is awarded every month to the Usenet poster who best
establishes a pattern of stupidity, idiocy, moronism, silliness,
cretinism, and general kookery.

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Blistered Ass Award

This award is given to the person who gets spanked (as in, thrashed) the
most in a given month, be it by their opponents or even their own hand.

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Drama Queen Award

For those logically consistent persons who leave Usenet forever, rather
more often than the Cabal's rules require. It isn't necessary to leave
Usenet forever three times in a single week to win this award, but it
helps. Operatic flouncing of other kinds, including unprovoked meltdowns
and ridiculous ranting may also lead to a nomination for this award.

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Victor von Frankenstein Weird Science Award

Given to those inspired, pioneering visionaries with their worthy
inventions, institutions, and prides-of-joys, who have reasoned it out,
who KNOW The Answer, who would know how to use it to make for a better
humanity... if only somebody would listen to them.

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Ko0K Combat Awards
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George Pickett Memorial Trophy

For that kook who does the greatest impression of Pickett's Charge in
any given month. Winning the Pickett Trophy generally requires the
sacrifice of common sense, decency, and reputation to win an unwinnable
argument, to reverse an imperceptible slight, or overcome an
insurmountable barrier.

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George Armstrong Custer "Kicked @$$" Award

Given to those brave, inspiring crusaders who will keep up a lost
lunatic cause despite all odds, even after the enemy has won, set up
their own superpower in their midst and are chugging Guinness in a
Kook-free world scenario.

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Special Ops Cody Memorial Purple Heart

In proud remembrance of the children's toy who sacrificed his life in
Iraq for the cause of freedom, this award is given to net.kooks whose
attempts at Kooky Kombat go spectacularly wrong. Use of grenades made
of solid rubber is one possible sign of worthiness for this honor.

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Lifetime Achievement Awards
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Bobo Award

The ultimate achievement in the Kook Arts. Given in recognition of the
lifetime work of those who rise above and beyond the call of
net.looniness, the Bobo is reserved for those whose sheer quest at
whatever it is they're pursuing knows Absolutely No Bounds, whether they
be global humiliation, jail time, even death. Several Bobo honorees are,
in fact, in jail or deceased. Think of it as the Internet's version of
the Darwin Award.

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Tar & Feathers Award

A lifetime achievement award, reserved solely for those who suffer from
Terminal Cluelessness; for those most highly incorrigible past all hope
crusaders who in another time and reality would've been tarred and
feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. Preferably one with a bridge
out. Over a canyon.

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Busted Urinal Award

The reward for the Lamest of the Lame on Usenet. One who clogs and
stinks up the joint like a busted urinal, you could say.

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Boötes Void Paper Tiger Award

A lifetime achievement award in the art of making empty threats, named
after the emptiest place in the known universe. They needn't be, but
can be, legal threats. A k00k prone to making legal threats and not
following through would likely become eligible, eventually. So would
someone prone to physical threats they never carry out.

Obviously, this is a cowardice award as much as it is a k00ks00t/
threat-making award.

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Steve Gibson Benchslap Award

A lifetime achievement award for ko0ks that *follow through* on their
legal threats, with the predictable consequences. This award goes to
actual Kook legal practice, such as a lawsuit manifesto when you ARE an
actual attorney; playing an attorney on Usenet; impersonating an
officer of the law; dragging your opponents into court; all sorts of
possibilities.

Being laughed out of court, being ordered to pay the defendant's
attorney's fees, losing, being countersued and losing, having one's
legal filings posted to the Internet and laughed at as they prove to be
k00kscr33d, etc. all create eligibility. Also eligible would be k00ks
that get sued first, and lose, because of some aspect of their
ko0kitude, or that otherwise get benchslapped for whatever reason --
spanked out of traffic court after challenging a ticket but being
clearly guilty; contempt citation for badmouthing the judge; whatever. Bonus points if the ko0k represents him- or herself in lieu of hiring an attorney.

Any ko0kiness in a court of law resulting in learning who's boss but insufficient for a Bobo can be worthy of this award, as can any pretension to legal practice (or law enforcement powers) that is exposed as a fraud.

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Goofy Azzed Baboon

This award commemorates Kooktistic achievement in the linguistic arts.
Of any language. To be awarded for categorical instances of such
achievement, but if a fully separate category of it is exhibited by
said Kook then they can win it more than once. There is no statute of
limitations here; one should award net.kooks of the past as well as the
present. Linguistic butchering is, we believe, a demonstrably proven
Kook Art. If the person's inability to use language comes from their
inexperience with it they do not qualify. Kooky language must come from
Kooky thought.

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72 Raisins "Crackpot Religion" Award

Name says it all, functions the same way as VVF (meaning the religion
need not even be meant to be real, so long as it's good crackpot
theology).

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Foam Duck Award

The spoonerism for "dumb fuck", for those who've lost more marbles than
a Chinese Checker factory will ever make.

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Order of the Holey Sockpuppet

A special fraternity comprised of those most prolific in the art of,
albeit thinly, disguising their net.presence behind whatever nose and
glasses they can concoct. Only past recipients of the Lamb Chop
Sockpuppet Award are eligible.

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Kenny McCormick Memorial Medal

Named after the famed South Park boy wonder, this medal is given to
those who lose 5 or more Internet accounts as a result of their
net.kookery, but keep coming back for more, to be killed off again and
again (and again and again and again).

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Pavlov's Bell

Awarded to the k00ks that are the most reliable, dependable, and
predictable at being trained and manipulated. Ring the bell and the
proud recipient drools on command, generally by posting a knee-jerk
followup. If a kook can be made to post on command, and has been toyed with for weeks, months, or even years on end, he or she is eligible.

Collar included FREE with every order.

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Miscellaneous Ko0K Awards
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Rubber Turkey Award

This award honors those who would rather spend public holidays frothing
continuously on Usenet than risk contact with human beings in real life.

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Fr00tcake and Bag of Coal
Special awards just in time for the holidays.

Nominations are only considered after the FNVW announces an explicit
"Call for Nominations".

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Kook of the Year

A just reward for the best Kook of the Month, the Kook of the Year award
(KotY) is elected from the list of all Kooks of the Months, of past and
present.

Nominations of past Kooks of the Month *are* accepted for this award.

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Rookie Kook of the Year

Like Kook of the Year, the Rookie Kook of the Year award (RKotY) is
elected from the best among the past year's Kooks of the Month.

Nominations of past Kooks of the Month *are* accepted for this award.

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Coward of the Year

Awarded to the most deserving of the year's Coward of the Month winners.

Nominations of past Cowards of the Month *are* accepted for this award.

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Pathological Liar Award

An occasional award - for those Usenet posters who are incapable of
ever telling the truth.

Nominations are only accepted after the FNVW announces an explicit "Call
for Nominations".

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Lamb Chop Sockpuppet Award

Given to the best (as in, most noticeable) sockpuppeteer of the month.
Anyone of any kind who uses a sockpuppet can get it; like the HL&S this
award is not necessarily reserved for Kooks! You can nominate the
sockpuppet or the sockpuppeteer's original pseudonym, but not the real
name of the sockpuppeteer unless the sockpuppeteer already uses their
real name online.

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Hook, Line & Sinker Award

A counterpart to the Angler's Award (see below) for those who are so
gullible that they not only swallow the hook, they eat the line and the
sinker, leap into the boat, gut and scale themselves, cook themselves,
serve appropriate wine, and clean up afterwards.

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Checkmate "Trapped In The Closet" Award

For those who make it a habit of projecting their latent homosexuality
or homo-erotic desires upon others, often by suggesting others give
them oral sex, or by suggesting other same-gender erotica, all while
'butching it up' and denying they are anything but straighter than
straight. Often described as "gaying up a thread", this behavior
denotes a deeply buried, cloistered, closeted mindset just dying to
burst free and *sparkle*.

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Balsa Gavel Award

For those kooks prone to making questionably legal threats of any sort.
Threatening to sic law enforcement on someone or to sue them, with
clear lack of merit, signals eligibility for this award.

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Rajesh KOOKrappali Premature Ejaculation Award.

The Rajesh KOOKrappali Premature Ejaculation Award recognizes those
kooks whose eagerness to get their posts off is so great that they
sometimes hit "send" before typing anything in. The result is a
combination both of beloved Big Bang Theory character Raj's most
embarrassing traits: premature ejaculation and selective mutism.
However, the kook need have no lovable traits to be eligible, only the
problem described.

Posts with nothing but quoted material and/or a sig count as empty, in
fact usually indicate that even less was done between hitting "follow up
to" and hitting "send" than if these were deleted. The key criterion is
a complete lack of original text typed into the post body. If there is
original text, but it's a mere sentence fragment with no closing
punctuation and especially if its truncation makes it unintelligible, it
may still qualify.

However, these posts must be a common feature of the kook's usenet
activity during the month of the nomination, or else frequent through
much of their posting history, rather than a one-time or rare
occurrence.

Note that if the alleged kook can make a *convincing*(!!!) case that the
empty posts are news server hiccups or the fault of a bad news client
user interface (e.g. tiny buttons on a phone touchscreen) then they are
disqualified. For example, if everyone posting through their server is
prone to the same problem the server is plausibly to blame.

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Onan's Mess Award

Awarded to the kook that makes the biggest mess in one or more
newsgroups through verbal self-abuse. The key characteristic here is a
tendency to follow up to one's own posts without even using any socks
(as using a sock would contain the mess).

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Tick Tock Tick Tock Kookoo! Award

There are a few kooks that exhibit a remarkable tendency towards
clockwork regularity in mumbling incoherently about their pet
obsessions, to the point that you can set your watch by them. At some
highly predictable time of day, bam! A post by the kook, most likely
the first of dozens or even hundreds. To these particularly punctual
pattering plinklebrains the Tick Tock Tick Tock Kookoo! award is
given.

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Unabomber Surprise Award

This award (along with the Bad Tacos Award and the Laki Volcano Award)
honors those who have the gift for saying the least with the most, to
the detriment of whatever group(s) the kook is polluting. The Unabomber
is for those kooks who leave gigantic steaming bunker buster turds in
their usenet toilet. Long posts filled with cut-and-paste or homegrown
screed are eligible.

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Bad Tacos Award (adjunct of Unabomber Surprise Award)

This award (along with the Unabomber Surprise Award and the Laki Volcano
Award) honors those who have the gift for saying the least with the
most, to the detriment of whatever group(s) the kook is polluting. The
Bad Tacos Award is for those kooks who leave little 'walking shits'
wherever they go, as though they'd shit themselves on the go, and were
shaking the effluence from their pants leg as they walked. High post
counts, low line counts, and shorter time periods of kooky screed posts
are eligible.

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Laki Volcano Award (adjunct of Unabomber Surprise Award)

Like a giant fissure volcanic eruption that goes on for weeks and
weeks, paving over a whole civilization with lava and emitting a vast
quantity of toxic gas that spreads to blanket a whole continent, some
kooks that had lain quiescent for a long period of time, or given only
occasional rumbles, sometimes suddenly erupt, and erupt, and erupt,
paving over a whole newsgroup with screed and emitting, well, vast
quantities of toxic gas over a period of days or weeks.

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Chernobyl Award

Much like a nuclear reactor that is badly designed and eventually
suffers a catastrophic accident that destroys it and irradiates the
surrounding area with megajoule after megajoule of deadly particles, a
kook's mind is badly designed and some kooks eventually suffer a
catastrophic breakdown that destroys something -- the kook's mind, the
kook's reputation, a newsgroup or three, the kook's news account or
three, or even the kook's entire news server -- and irradiates the
surrounding area with megabyte after megabyte of kooky screed.

The more catastrophic the meltdown, the more likely the award is to go
to that particular kook. Blowing up at your own newsadmin is a bonus.
So is suddenly violating their TOS in a big way, like, say, by
roboposting copies and copies of screed until your BI shoots for the
fucking moon. To really be deserving of the Chernobyl award, the kook's
news account should at least be in danger of winding up entombed in
concrete and declared a disaster area, if not have already done so.

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Eta Carinae Incipient Supernova Award

To be eligible, a kook must be visibly unstable, with quiet periods
alternating with unpredictably-timed drooling episodes featuring weeks
of intermittent dribbles of screed and punctuated by the occasional
catastrophic flare-up that may itself make the kook a candidate for the
Chernobyl Award. Multiple Chernobyl nominations (and particularly wins)
in consecutive months are a good sign of eligibility, and since the kook
is clearly on a buildup to detonation, the Incipient Supernova is itself
a likely precursor to a Bobo, possibly via death, jail, or jail *then*
death after making headlines with a shotgun somewhere.

A key feature of the eligible kook is that the exact timing of said
detonation cannot be predicted with certainty; the irregular spacing of
the lesser outbursts prevents any clear ticking-clock countdown being
inferred from, say, shrinking spacing between outbursts -- at least not
before the detonation is only days away.

Named for a star in the constellation Carina that brightens and dims
randomly, occasionally explodes puffing off huge bubbles of plasma into
outer space while surviving these bloviations, and will self-destruct
spectacularly sometime in the next couple of thousand years, leaving a
black hole, but nobody can use the outbursts to predict exactly when.

Oh, and the kook, like an unstable star, might quite conceivably be in
the quietest phase just seconds before that terminal detonation.

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Emmett Gulley Obsesso Award

A special award - reserved solely for the most obsessive, stalker kooks
on Usenet.

To win this award, a kook has to bloviate, but further than that he has
to really, *really* lose it.

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Terminal Velocity Last Word Award
This award is for when someone so absolutely, utterly *must* have the
last word that he'd keep arguing rather than pull the ripcord if he
fell out of an airplane during an argument, and his mouth would still
be motoring when he hit the pavement at terminal velocity.

To be eligible for this award someone must always obsessively reply to
every post arguing with them. If they obsessively reply to other kinds
of posts as well, or obsessively reply so fast their mouth is motoring
at terminal velocity, it's a significant bonus but those are not
requirements for eligibility.

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The Itchy and Scratchy Eternal M0rta1 Ko0kb4t Award

Occasionally presented jointly to the pair of kooks currently performing
the most memorably vivid reenactment of the lovable cartoon Bart Simpson
watches every Saturday morning.

Sometimes, kooks come in pairs that are each others' mortal enemies.
Neither will draw any line below which they shall not stoop in their
eternal quest to destroy the other -- even though, being Usenet kooks
wielding NNTP clients, they can only destroy each other by firing tens
of thousands of foam darts.

Needless to say, that means that they will battle for all eternity,
having neither the capacity to actually damage one another nor the
intelligence to realize this fact and give up in futility. The result
is inevitably a never-ending soap opera that has rather more R-rated
language than "Days of Our Lives".

Expect never-ending screed threads in which their respective From lines
alternate, post counts in the five and even six figures racked up over
years and even decades, giant sigs with the density of high-tech NASA
aerogel, perpetual obsessive ranting, perpetual obsessive raving,
precious little attention paid to anything except each other, and no
holds barred whatsoever. Which means you WILL see outer-filthing,
metric gigabytes of screed, and accusations of substance abuse, child
molestation, Nazism, Communism, murder, Satanism, evilness in general,
and even having watched Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and
enjoyed it. Some may also generate occasional cowardly potshots at one
another via anonymous remailer.

The nature of such k00kf3udz is such that the combatants will generally make themselves eligible for many, *many* other awards as well, signifying ample pickings for any aspiring kookologists looking to make nominations.

Fight fight fight, fight fight fight ... the Itchy and Scratchy Show!

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20th Century Fox 8-Track Mind Award

Awarded to the kook(s) who, in a given month, display especially
strongly a particular combination of vitriolic cluelessness,
disorganized thought processes, and stuck-in-the-pastness of the worst,
most backwards sort.

No mere nostalgic, the winner must be adoring of the very worst things
of the past, the things that *belong* in the dustbin of history, things
like feudalism, racism, COBOL, extremism of any sort, and honor
killings, just to name a few horrific examples. Likewise their mind
must tend to go off in eight directions at once, resulting in poorly-
organized screeds and a confusing jumble of multiple topics in many of
their posts. And, finally, they must show the peculiar combination of
nastiness and cretinism common to inbred, backward-looking haters, talk radio hosts, and Fox News.

[Ed. note: does that amendment meet with your approval, Nadegda? I think something like it is necessary to explain the Fox reference, and fits well with the rest of the description.]

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Tinfoil Sombrero

An executive award, a Vote Wrangler's privilege, to grant to those out
there who would seek to overthrow the Friendly Neighborhood dictatorship
of this froup. Time and again various Kooks have attempted to either
hijack the awards, start votes of their own, or give the FNVW a free
non-expenses-paid ticket to the Motel Deep 6. This should never go
unpunished. Such insubordination goes beyond the normal bounds of those
whacko enough to wear the tinfoil hat, therefore, the FNVW shall have
the privilege of granting the TINFOIL SOMBRERO, upon receipt of
substantial enough evidence of said insubordination.

Nominations *are* accepted for this award.

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Creepy Candy Coating Award

Some people seem to be incapable of understanding that not *every*
internet forum, newsgroup, IRC channel, or bulletin board is a singles
group. Not that they'd have much more success if they were, with their
frequent, too-direct, and creepy come-ons directed at every single
poster with a female-sounding nick.

Of course, the most common reason for flamboyantly and vigorously
demonstrating apparent heterosexuality is to compensate for its lack, so
naturally most of the kooks with a Creepy Candy Coating are closeted
gays, and the rest will no doubt prove to be compensating for something
if anyone ever foolishly takes them up on any of their creepy offers.

Named in honor of a Big Bang Theory character notorious for the same
behavior -- and for showing signs of being a closeted queer. In his
case, "the problem isn't what's on the inside, it's the creepy candy
coating", but in the case of these net.ko0ks, they're probably mostly
creepy to the core.

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The Sheldon Ko0ker Compulsive Behavior Award

A counterpart to the Emmett Gulley Obsesso Award. While some ko0ks
obsess over particular other people, others exhibit compulsive,
knee-jerk behavior (usually in the form of posting knee-jerk usenet
followups) on particular topics, especially political ones.

Any kOok sufficiently reliably compulsive enough on a particular issue
to be mistaken for a keyword-triggered bot is eligible, and perhaps some
others depending on the circumstances.

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The South Bass Island Lighthouse Keeper Award

This award may be bestowed upon certain kooks occasionally, as
circumstances befit. Named for an infamous lighthouse reputed to be
haunted, whose keeper was declared hopelessly insane and committed to an
asylum where he died, to qualify for this award a kook must a) be
butthurt, something of a lunatic, or both and b) be projecting like a
lighthouse.

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The Lodestone Award

This award is occasionally given in recognition of a ko0k whose posts
are richly veined with irony, and who as a consequence is a powerful
magnet for criticism.

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K00k Offices
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AUK Mascot

The AUK Mascot is AUK's pet kook or resident fanboi; reserved for
those rare kooks who usually seem to enjoy AUK's attention (or at least
tolerate roughhousing) and whose antics provoke widespread amusement;
elected annually, during the month of May, to serve a one-year term.

Should the AUK Mascot disappear from Usenet during his term for 60 days
or more, the FNVW would then have the option to call for a special
recall election in which the MIA mascot would be replaced by another
suitable net.kook.

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Darth Bawl

This office is held by Usenet's biggest crybaby.

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Village Idiot

The name says it all.

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Kooki Information Minister

Named in honour of Iraq's Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, this office is held
by the kook whose claims are most noticeably at variance with known
facts.

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Ko0ki Defense Minister

What the Office of Ko0ki Information Minister is to the presentation of
accurate and timely information, the Office of Ko0ki Defense Minister is
to the protection of the realm. Put another way, to be elected to this
office a kOok must demonstrate extraordinary incompetence, cowardice, or
both in the managing of online combat for his forces, generally
resulting in a rout and a victory for the other side.

Winning a Custer, or at least a Pickett, helps a great deal; however,
the office is held until an upstart usurps the k00k elected to it by
being elected himself, even if there are other winners of related awards
(or months without any winners of those awards) in the meantime.
Also, one wins Picketts by sacrificing reputation or breaking all rules
of decency in trying to win, and Custers by trying to carry on the fight
even if at 1hp, surrounded by Cave Orcs, out of food, water, light, and
ammo, armed with only an unenchanted 1d4 Dagger, and naked after
Gelatinous Cubes ate all one's armor off; one is elected to Ko0ki
Defense Minister by finally *giving up*, but doing so in a cowardly
fashion and/or after having egregiously fouled up the campaign. (There
are generally two other alternatives: man up and admit one screwed up
and was bested; or do the kinds of things that can earn one a Bobo.)

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Ministry of Circle Jerks

Although many kooks are lone wolves, a few like to make friends with
those who are as delusional as themselves. This office rewards the
slurpfests that often ensue.

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Usenet Drunk

This office is occupied by that net.kook who most aptly demonstrates the
prototypical attributes of a slovenly, perpetually-inebriated booze-
hound. Slurred, incoherent rants, drunken movies, and pictures in tiny
hats with giant bottles of high-proof alcohol are the stuff of this
award.

This is an office, to remain filled until a bigger Usenet Drunk stumbles
into and barfs all over usenet.

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Awards for Merit
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Angler's Award

The Angler's Award is a different breed of award, a reward for the best,
most inspired trolls on Usenet. Talent at wily yet ultimately harmless
manipulation is worthy of public recognition.

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Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog-Whistle Award

Named in honor of the skillful dog-trainer who became a British TV
personality in the 1980s, this award is given to the best trainer of his
or her net.kook in any given month. Possible examples of good training
include obedience to one's owner's commands to reply to posts, and
devotion in following one's owner around from group to group and through
the Google archive. House-training, which, regrettably, is a rare
accomplishment for a kook, isn't a prerequisite. Woof.

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Knoxy Master Emasculator Award

The Knoxy Master Emasculator Award is given to that poster who, without
really even trying, can cruelly humiliate a kook, causing them for years
afterward to be a corpulent, whining, post-humping sad sack so far in
denial they cannot see their own sorry state, even when it is pointed out to them. Repeatedly. With evidence.

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Hammer of Thor Award

The Hammer of Thor is awarded to individuals for demonstrating
excellence in the practice of Net.Kookology - either for exceptional
kookological achievement in a single month, or in recognition of a
respectable degree of kookological achievement over the span of a
Kookologist's lifetime career.

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Diamond Hammer of Thor Award

The rarer, more exclusive counterpart to the Hammer of Thor, the D-HoT
is presented by executive decision to only the most exceptionally
outstanding Kookologists in Usenet history.

Nominations *are* accepted for this award.

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Gene Spafford "Usenet Samaritan" Award

The "Spaffie", for short, is a monthly award dedicated to those
individuals who do their damnedest to make sure that the immense,
convoluted, heinous waste-of-time that is USENET runs in some semblance
of order and sanity. Nominees for the Spaffie must have gained
distinction on Usenet alone. They can be outstanding career
spamfighters, newsgroup anti-abuse fighters, or people who have
generally worked to make Usenet a better place for all.

----------
Jim Nitchals Memorial "Internet Samaritan" Award

The Nitchals Award is the rest of the Net's counterpart to the Spaffie.
Named for the one, now martyred, person that best exemplifies the values
the award exists for. All net.samaritans outside of the realm of Usenet
are encouraged to be nominated for this honor.

[[Tor] Andrew Wilson]

On Sat, 23 Mar 2013 08:47:46 +0000, Sn!pe wrote:

> Nadegda <nad31...@gmail.invalid> wrote:
>
>> The New Cabal (tinnc) Tetrarchy is proud to present the revised and
>> updated list of New Cabal (tinnc) Kook Awards!
>>
>> The Tetrarchy (tint) welcomes feedback from any and all non-kooks,
>

> Feedback: What a load of upstart, wannabe bollocks.

HEY, CLUELESS MORON KOOK: Getcher reading comprehension problem fixed. She
clearly said, and I quote, "The Tetrarchy (tint) welcomes feedback from any
and all NON-KOOKS", emphasis mine. What part of "NON-KOOKS" did you NOT
understand, KOOK?

> [fu2: bit-bucket]

DENIED.

<cackle>

[Dick Stuckey]

In article <kijqgo$hp2$1...@news.mixmin.net>, awils...@gmail.com says...


> Subject: Re: Offishul alt.usenet.kooks award descriptions
> From: [Tor] Andrew Wilson <awils...@gmail.com>
> Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks, news.admin.net-abuse.email, alt.fan.art-bell, alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk, alt.fan.karl-malden.nose

>
> On Sat, 23 Mar 2013 08:47:46 +0000, Sn!pe wrote:
>
> > Nadegda <nad31...@gmail.invalid> wrote:
> >
> >> The New Cabal (tinnc) Tetrarchy is proud to present the revised and
> >> updated list of New Cabal (tinnc) Kook Awards!
> >>
> >> The Tetrarchy (tint) welcomes feedback from any and all non-kooks,
> >
> > Feedback: What a load of upstart, wannabe bollocks.
>
> HEY, CLUELESS MORON KOOK: Getcher re
>

<CACKLE>

--
Dick Stuckey