LATE SHOW NEWS #209
July 7, 1998
by Aaron Barnhart

To join or leave the
LATE-SHOW-NEWS mailing
list, see instructions
at end of message.

        Any Chicagoans out there?  Any of you remember a
        midday radio duo on WLUP-AM about 10 years ago
        named Tim and Beth?  An easygoing married couple,
        Tim and Beth provided a little bland non-personality
        antidote to the station's high-octane morning
        and afternoon drive personalities.  People liked
        them; they started publishing a newsletter for
        fans of the show.  They had a fairly good thing
        going -- until one day when a hostile caller phoned
        in to rant.  This caller had tried ranting at
        some of the station's other talent, but he was
        always cut off after a sentence or two. But not
        with Tim and Beth.  Not nice Tim and Beth. They
        let the hostile caller go on and on and on about
        how wrong-headed their opinions were and how
        much their show sucked and so on, ad nauseam. Tim
        and Beth just kept listening; I doubt it was in
        their constitution to do otherwise.

        I thought of Tim and Beth for the first time in
        years after watching Howard Stern hijack Earvin
        Johnson's talk show Thursday night.  That broadcast
        of "The Magic Hour" will go down as one of the
        great moments of infamy in late night, right up
        there with Helen Kushnick cancelling a "Tonight
        Show" broadcast and the first-ever "Chevy Chase
        Show."

        What amazes me even now, several days after the
        fact, is the extraordinary stupidity of Earvin
        Johnson and his "people" for extending the invite to
        Stern, and then not withdrawing it despite learning
        what Stern planned to do on the show.  He had
        demanded that his "band," The Losers, be allowed
        to perform their flatulent version of "Wipe Out"
        as a condition for doing the show.  He said he
        would tell the host exactly what he thought of
        "The Magic Hour," a show he'd been roasting without
        mercy for three weeks on the radio.  Stern told
        his radio audience that he would embarrass Johnson
        on the air.

        And they let him do the show anyway!  The whole
        show!  Just as the President and his people
        foolishly failed to consider that Don Imus would
        behave at the White House Correspondents' Dinner
        exactly as he did on the radio, so Johnson & Co.
        walked right into Stern's trap by agreeing to
        his ridiculous demands. They have no one but
        themselves to blame for this debacle.

        Sure, it produced great ratings for one night.
        Big deal.  It also sealed the fate of "The Magic
        Hour."  Don't even try comparing this to the
        night Hugh Grant paneled with Leno or the night
        Letterman came on Conan's show.  Those were
        host-affirming moments, carefully orchestrated
        behind the scenes in order to buff the image of
        each person involved.  By contrast, what happened
        Thursday was a train wreck mischieviously devised by
        Howard because -- well, because he's Howard and
        there's nothing he and his fans love more than a
        good prank.  And as a result of this prank,
        the quick demise of "The Magic Hour" is now
        all but assured.

        Why?  Because Stern exposed every sorry reason
        why Johnson's show should not go on.  He brought
        up the firing of Johnson's sidekick comic, Craig
        Shoemaker, forcing the host to admit that the two of
        them "weren't clicking." Yeah, that's the kind
        of information I'd want shared on my own program.
        Stern also exposed Sheila E.'s shortcoming as a
        TV bandleader: she can't ad lib on the air,
        musically or verbally. She played "You Light Up
        My Life" when Stern walked on with Johnson, letting
        it go on about one or two bars longer than
        necessary.  Then as the show went to commercial,
        she played it *again.* And every time Stern pushed
        her buttons -- suggesting at one point that more
        lesbianism on her part would be exciting -- she
        froze solid with that goofy grin glued on her
        face.

        Above all, Stern identified the central problem
        with "The Magic Hour" and drove it home.  Drove
        it home and into the garage and got into bed and
        turned off the light.  The central problem is
        the one I pointed out in LATE SHOW NEWS three
        weeks ago: "The Magic Hour" is going after all
        viewers, meaning white viewers, when it should
        be going after black viewers. Black viewers are
        the core audience; as long as the show isn't
        concentrating on them, the show will suck.  I
        would imagine most viewers tuned in that night
        instinctively knew that.  No matter how jovially
        the host tried to deflect the criticism, the studio
        audience cheered it wildly (admittedly a pro-Stern
        faction).  And you knew people at home were nodding
        their heads in silent assent.

        (A word about the studio audience.  I had read
        the wire story, perhaps you had too, about people
        trying to hand out tickets to "The Magic Hour"
        and being rebuffed because nearby someone else
        was giving away tickets to "The Howie Mandel Show."
        Besides being a rather mean-spirited news item,
        it offered shockingly little insight into the
        cruelties of supply-and-demand that all struggling
        TV shows face, including Howie Mandel's. Angelenos
        are jaded to the concept of free TV tickets as
        it is; when the shill standing outside Graumann's
        Chinese Theater offers them to you, he's
        half-expecting you to say no anyway. You can
        sense it in his voice as he says, "Tickets to a
        TV taping," with no great enthusiasm.)

        But the most damning insight from Stern's appearance
        on "The Magic Hour" was gained from the very fact it
        happened at all.  This show has no compass.  That's
        why its host and producers failed to weigh the
        ratings and publicity value of Stern against the
        total absurdity of having Johnson's harshest critic
        on to tell everyone how crappy "The Magic Hour"
        is.  Any program with the slightest backbone
        would know better. At least when Jay Leno let
        himself be bamboozled by Stern into allowing a
        lesbian kiss on the "Tonight Show" three years
        ago, he eventually got mad and took back the
        reins from Howard. (Also, Leno or a producer
        replaced the original camera shot of the kiss before
        the show went to air with a shot taken by a camera
        clear across the studio.)                If you're a longtime reader of
LSN, you
        know I take special pleasure whenever one of Stern's
        minions prank the media.  But how long does Captain
        Janks ever last on the air? Ten seconds?  If that?
        Thursday night Howard Stern *was* "The Magic Hour."
        The show's producers did the one thing you are
        not supposed to do on any show -- late night,
        daytime, cable news, whatever -- which is to let
        a stranger take your microphone. And if for some
        reason a stranger *does* take your microphone,
        you ask for it back, and if the person doesn't
        comply, you cut off the sound. You go to commercial.
        You edit out the segment in "post." On Monday,
        Magic brought the Rev. Jesse Jackson, hoping he
        could help undo the damage.  Too late.  The time
        to undo the damage was between the close of
        Thursday's taping and the feed to the
        affiliates.

        By the way, here's what happened to Tim and Beth
        back in Chicago: Later that day, the afternoon-drive
        personalities replayed the tape of the hostile
        caller and spent a half hour castigating Tim and
        Beth, in absentia and on the air, for failing
        to terminate the call. A short time later, Tim
        and Beth were themselves terminated.  Hey look,
        there's nothing wrong with a broadcaster having a
        nice personality.  But a broadcaster must also
        have a clue.  Earvin Johnson doesn't, and that's
        why "The Magic Hour" is toast.  You can wait to
        read the obit here in a few weeks.  Or you can
        trust me when I say: This *is* the obit.

        ***

        Variety reported last week that hours after the
        original studio "ankled" Norm Macdonald's next
        movie project, "Ballbusted," Universal picked it
        up.  Shooting is still on schedule to begin in
        Vancouver in four weeks. Reader George F. Heller
        adds, "This sudden change of fortune can be
        attributed, however, less to Macdonald's pull in
        the industry than to the respect directors Scott
        Alexander and Larry Karaszewski command from studio
        executives. While this will be their first
        directorial effort, they consistently punch out
        some of the strongest, provocative, and freshest
        original screenplays in the business ('Ed Wood,'
        'People vs. Larry Flynt'). It is no surprise
        that Universal, as well as probably every other
        studio in town, wanted to be in business with
        them. Norm was basically at the right place at
        the right time. More power to him."

        ***

        Reader mail:  Bob Frable gets the prize for being the
        first to tip me to Howard Stern's appearance on
        "The Magic Hour."  I got his e-mail not long
        after mailing off last week's issue ...

        And reader Sidd Pattanayak, a bright kid going to
        Cornell, had his idealism crushed by an item in
        last week's LSN. "Nielsen must be doing something
        with those late night ratings, because there's
        no way in my mind Jay Leno could be whipping
        David Letterman in the ratings. I am a 20-year-
        old college student who has not encountered a single
        person at school who actually will even admit to
        watching Leno. Letterman, on the other hand, and
        Conan are the shows of choice for many college
        students, it seems. When I went to the TV lounge
        in my dorm to watch Letterman, there were quite
        a few people gathered.

        "I wonder if the Nielsens factor in college
        ratings--believe me, it's rather sizable,
        considering a vast majority of college students
        are up at 11:35."  The answer is no.  Nielsen
        does not factor in group viewing areas like dorms,
        bars and, sadly, prisons, where I'm told TV viewing
        levels are quite impressive. However, that didn't
        stop NBC sales staff in the 1980's from charging
        extree high rates to advertise on Letterman's
        "Late Night." According to a writer on the show,
        the network's research found that "an inordinate
        number of unmeasured viewers" were watching Dave
        (see LSN #162).

        ***

        Tom Heald's THIS NIGHT IN HISTORY
        toma...@aol.com

        We 7/8: In 1931, Roone Arledge is born. As ABC
        News President, Arledge not only helped revive
        "NBC Overnight" in the form of ABC's "World News
        Now," but in 1995 was crazy enough to announce
        an entire 24-hour cable network (code-named "Fred")
        based on "World News Now."

        Th 7/9: In 1942, a small babe is born into the bigger
        picture of Michigan - A(lan) Whitney Brown. "A." delivered
        his "The Big Picture" commentaries to "Saturday Night Live's"
        Weekend Update from 1985-1991, but can currently be spotted
        as a correspondent on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show."

        Fr 7/10: In 1993, "Saturday Night Live Goes Commercial"
        and prime-time to boot, with Victoria Jackson and Kevin
        Nealon hosting a clip show of some of the show's best
        ad parodies.

        Sa 7/11: In 1967, Look magazine's cover story on Johnny
        Carson tells "Why He's Still Champ."

        Su 7/12: In 1948, the mother ship drops Richard Simmons on
        earth to gather information on fat people, cry on talk shows,
        worship some Jewish singer and most importantly: sweat.

        Mo 7/13: In 1996, Danitra Vance is born. Vance
        was "Saturday Night Live's" first female
        African-American cast member (if you don't count
        Garrett Morris in drag). She dies of cancer
        8/21/94.

        Tu 7/14: In 1957, the game show "Do You Trust Your Wife?" gets
        a new name ("Who Do You Trust"), a new city (New York) and a new
        host -- Johnny Carson.

        [Thanks to David Tanny, and Gregory Stanko. Special
        thanks to Donz5, world champion asteroid driller, if
        ya know what I mean.]

        Tom Heald's Dennis Miller FAQ now includes the
        beginnings of The Dennis Miller Bookstore:
        http://members.aol.com/thisnite/dstore.html

THE LINEUPS
with Sue Trowbridge (http://www.interbridge.com/)

LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, CBS

Tu 7/7 Mel Gibson, Christine Lahti, Joni Mitchell (R 11/4/96)
We 7/8 Cameron Diaz, Adam Arkin, human slinky Venianmin
        (R 10/1/97)
Th 7/9 Geena Davis, Robert Carlyle, Martha Stewart (R 9/4/97)
Fr 7/10 Uma Thurman, Mark Wahlberg, Eddie Izzard (R 10/10/97)
Mo 7/13 Don Rickles, Rod Stewart

THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, NBC

Tu 7/7  Chris Rock, Lena Olin
We 7/8  Rene Russo, Gary Noel and his performing Pomeranians, Willie
        Barcena
Th 7/9  Mel Gibson, Cameron Diaz, Smashmouth
Fr 7/10 Alicia Silverstone, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Leann Rimes
Mo 7/13 Sarah Jessica Parker, Geraldo Rivera, Trisha Yearwood
Tu 7/14 Richard Simmons
We 7/15 Kids Show-'n-Tell, Jeff Foxworthy, Garcelle Beauvais
Th 7/16 Katie Holmes, Matchbox 20

LATE LATE SHOW WITH TOM SNYDER, CBS

Tu 7/7 French Stewart
We 7/8 Robert Blake
Th 7/9 Milton Berle, high school student/author Deonte Allen
Fr 7/10 Ben Stiller

Mo 7/13 Tom Selleck, Gloria Stuart (R)
Tu 7/14 Scott Hamilton, George V. Higgins (R)
We 7/15 Natalie Cole, Ruth Reichl (R)
Th 7/16 Larry Gelbart, Faith Ford (R)
Fr 7/17 Jay Thomas, Rob Morrow (R)

LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN, NBC

Tu 7/7 Kristen Johnston, Jimmy Vaughn
We 7/8 Todd Barry, Doris Kearns Goodwin
Th 7/9 Lena Olin, Rich Hall
Fr 7/10 Chris Rock, Judith Martin (Miss Manners), Lucinda Williams

Mo 7/13 Cheech Marin, Jonathan Harris, Steven Wright (R 4/8/98)
Tu 7/14 Roger Daltrey
We 7/15 Ben Stiller, Seth Green, The Brian Setzer Orchestra
Th 7/16 Matt Dillon, Jake Johannsen, Ben Folds Five
Fr 7/17 Chris Elliott

LATER, NBC

Mo 7/6 Rita Sever with Jeff Conaway
Tu 7/7 Rita Sever with Marcia Clark
We 7/8 Rita Sever with Jonny Moseley and Eric Bergoust
Th 7/9 Rita Sever with Usher

THE MAGIC HOUR, syndicated

Tu 7/7 Ernie Hudson, Madylin Sweeten
We 7/8 Chris Rock, Bill Nye The Science Guy, Lionel Richie
Th 7/9 Lela Rochon, Robert Wuhl, Too Hot Tamales, Steve Harris
Fr 7/10 Michael Clark Duncan

CHARLIE ROSE, PBS
Please note that Charlie Rose listings are very tentative

Tu 7/7  Warren Christopher; "cultural values" (i.e., cultural
        conservativism) panel with Lamar Alexander,
        Sen. John Ashcroft, Gary Bauer
We 7/8 Malcolm Gets, Graciella Danielle, playwright William Finn
Th 7/9 Film critic Stanley Kauffman

POLITICALLY INCORRECT WITH BILL MAHER, ABC

Tu 7/7  Peri Gilpin, Christopher "Kid" Reid, Rep. Pat Schroeder,
        Stanley Crouch (R 2/24/98)
We 7/8  Mimi Rogers, Carol Leifer, San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown,
        Floyd Brown (R 2/25/98)
Th 7/9  Paul Rodriguez, Stefanie Powers, Betsy Hart, Rose McGowan
        (R 3/10/98)
Fr 7/10 Peter Coyote, Trace Adkins, Georgette Mosbacher, Daryl
        "Chill" Mitchell (R 4/21/98)

Mo 7/13 Kenny G, Miss America Kate Shindle, Barbara Olson
Tu 7/14 Joe Queenan, Marion Ross, Arianna Huffington, Seth Green
We 7/15 Kevin Nealon, Kevin Newman
Th 7/16 Reginald VelJohnson, Holly McClure
Fr 7/17 Illeana Douglas, Adam Carolla, Kellyanne Fitzpatrick

VIBE TV, syndicated

Mo 7/6 Suzanne Somers, Sheryl Lee Ralph (R)
Tu 7/7 James McDaniel, Mase (R)
We 7/8 Swoosie Kurtz, Militia (R)
Th 7/9 TBA
Fr 7/10 Dyan Cannon, the Lox and Lil' Kim (R)

THE DAILY SHOW, Comedy Central

lineups not available

DENNIS MILLER LIVE, HBO

Fr 7/10 Sarah Jessica Parker on "Talk Radio"
Fr 7/17 Tom Hanks on "The Space Program"

SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, Cartoon Network

Fr 7/10 Jon Stewart (R)
        Danny Bonaduce and Branford Marsalis (R)

HOWARD STERN, E!

Tu 7/7  Jen's Bad Implants (R), Scott Salem Part 1 (R),
        Brittany Andrews (R)
We 7/8  Kielbasa Queen & Slashed Portrait (R), Scott Salem Part 2 (R),
        Scott In Bra (R)
Th 7/9  Nikki Tyler (R), Penthouse Jeopardy Part 1 (R), Puerto
        Rican Vanessa (R)
Fr 7/10 Underwear Water (R), Penthouse Jeopardy Part 2 (R),
        Sandra Taylor (R)
Sa 7/11 Baywatch Angelica (R), Fred's Therapy Fight (R)

DIE HARALD SCHMIDT SHOW, SAT.1

lineups not available

Also on late nights:
NIGHTLINE and WORLD NEWS NOW, ABC
MAD TV, Fox
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, NBC (this season) and Comedy Central (classics)
THE RUPAUL SHOW, VH1
LOVELINE, MTV
UP TO THE MINUTE, CBS
NIGHTSIDE, NBC (going away soon)

========================================
AARON BARNHART IN THE KANSAS CITY STAR
(a Knight-Ridder newspaper)
The URL for recent TV stories is
http://www.kcstar.com/fyi/fyi.htm
Scroll to the bottom of the page.
========================================

Entire contents Copyright 1998 by Aaron Barnhart. All
rights reserved.

To join the list, e-mail lists...@american.edu and
include this message:   SUB LATE-SHOW-NEWS Your Name
... or to leave the list: SIGNOFF LATE-SHOW-NEWS
If you have trouble with lists...@american.edu, just
drop me a line and I'll help you out.

Each issue is posted by 12:01 a.m. Central Time on
Tuesday to
http://www.echonyc.com/~barnhart/lsn/ish/latest.html

To view the most recently published issues of LATE SHOW
NEWS, visit the listserver archives:
http://listserv.american.edu/archives/late-show-news.html
By the way, the archives also have a great search engine
-- too bad the listserver erases old issues after about
eight months.

Older issues are at the LATE SHOW NEWS Broadcast Museum:
http://www.echonyc.com/~barnhart/lsn/ish/issues.html

Guest lineups are updated throughout the week by Sue
Trowbridge at http://www.interbridge.com/lineups.html

LATE SHOW NEWS is made possible with the generous
assistance of ECHO, New York City's premiere online
service. http://www.echonyc.com

Send news for and comments about this newsletter to
barnh...@echonyc.com