Rangy Lil
DocJ...@aol.com
so censor the kids (or something like that).
I think I've found a piece of the genuine "Rangy Lil" poem. If
somebody has more of it, I'd like to know:
This is from a book called "The Cure of Folly" -- by Gordon Warme...
"The poem was about a copulating contest between two legendary
specialists in the art from the far northern reaches of Canada, Rangy
Lil and Pete. Here are a few fragments from mid-contest:
Lil tried shunts, and double shunts, / And tricks unknown to common
cunts, / But Pete kept reeling out more hose, / 'Til through the
portals of Lil's ass, / Nine feet of slimy penis passed. / They hung
Lil's pants on the shithouse door, / In honour of that gallant whore."
Robert James
DocJ...@aol.com
in TEFL, which I've re-read for my paper at this year's PCA
conference.
I think I've located most of the songs in the book, some thanks to
older posts here on AFH, some with more recent internet searches.
Near as I can tell, the "Pawnshop Song" is entirely new to the book
(as most of Rhysling's songs were composed by Heinlein anew). Any
disagreements?
Robert
DocJ...@aol.com
published in The Journal of American Folklore, Vol. 100, No. 396, (Apr-
Jun 1987), pp. 191-199.
Baker says "Lady Lil" is a popular folk poem about an insatiable
schoolmarm, Lil, and an unpromising half-breed, Pete, who kills Lil in
a fornication contest...."
Baker says it was first collected in 1927 in an anonymously published
book called "Immortalia", a privately printed collection of erotic
verse by a "Gentleman about Town" and ascribed (perhaps falsely) to
American journalist Eugene Field (1850-1895).
And Dora is the adopted child of an insatiable schoolmarm, and a man
who loves fornication contests...
RAH was clearly having fun with that story.
R.
DocJ...@aol.com
others, including one that names her as "Rangy Lil". Here, she's a
mining camp whore, not a schoolmarm.
Lil was the best our camp produced;
And of all the gents that Lillian goosed,
None had no such goosin', nor never will,
Since the Lord raked in poor Lady Lil.
We had a bet in our town,
Thar warn't no geezer that could brown
Lil to a finish, any style--
And no bloke ever made the trial.
'Cept Short Pete, the halfbreed galoot,
Who wandered in from Scruggins' Chute.
His takin' it surprised us all,
For Pete he warn't so big nor tall,
But when he yanked his tool out thar,
And laid it out across the bar,
We 'lowed our Lil had met her fate,
But thar warn't no backin' out that late.
And so we 'ranged to have the mill
Behind the whorehouse on the hill,
Where all the boys could get a seat,
And watch that halfbreed brown his meat.
Lil's start was like the gentle breeze
That swayed the noddin' cypress trees,
But when het up, she screwed for keeps
And laid her victims out in heaps.
She tried her twists and double biffs,
And all such m'neuvres known to quiffs.
But Pete war thar with every tack,
And kept a-letting out more jack.
It made us cocksmen fairly sick
To see that half-breed shove his prick.
She gave Short Pete a lively mill,
And wore the grass half off the hill.
'Til finally, she missed her shot,
And Short Pete had her on the pot,
But she died game, just let me tell,
And had her boots on when she fell.
So what the hell!
Bill!
What the hell!
DocJ...@aol.com
folk poem...
And so far, no responses from AFH -- so either your jaws are all
dropping, you're covering the kids' eyes, you don't have anything to
say, and/or you just wish I'd shut up and go away on this...
Or not.
This is what we call research in the lit-crit field...
Is it any wonder RAH made fun of us?
R.
THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE
Now gather round children and I'll tell a story of old,
When men were brave and women were bold.
It all started a way out west,
To settle the bet of who was best.
Now Old Lill f ucked everything that crawled or creeped,
And piled her victims in a great big heap.
There wasn't a man for miles around
With a big enough rod to fuck her down.
Now news of this boast traveled far and wide;
Thousands of rod-toters came and died;
When down from Knoxville came Pisspot Pete,
With eighteen pounds of Swinging Meat.
Eighteen pounds of meat and thirty pounds of cod;
He wasn't a boy--he was a MAN, by God!
Pete laid it out on the Blue Balls Bar;
I'll swear it stretched from thar to...........thar.
Stunk like shit, I thought I'd die;
But he just laughed and let it lie.
Gentlemen, countrymen, boys in blue,
Came to witness this terrible screw.
People came from miles afar,
To place their bets at the Blue Balls Bar.
They met the next morning in the middle of the street,
The Mangey Whore and Piss Pot Pete.
Pete greased his dick with a tub of lard,
And he killed a mule trying to work up a hard!
Old Lill warmed up on an old cross-tie;
Oh my God how the splinters did fly!
Pete came down Main Street like a south-bound freight,
And Old Lill knew she had met her fate.
All she could do was to take a seat,
And let old Pete sink his meat.
With a stretching of flesh, and tearing of skin,
Old Pete drove the first two feet in.
Old Lill screamed and clawed at the grass,
And yelled like a panther with a turpentined ass!
Lill let out a scream, "I can't take any more!"
But Pete pounded away on the smelly old whore.
The earth shook and dark came to the sun;
Pete's eyes rolled back and he fired off his gun.
When the battle was over and the dust had cleared,
Over forty acres, Lill's ass was smeared.
Gallons of love were spilled out in the street.
It was so damn sticky, you couldn't pick up your feet!
Land was torn up for miles around,
Where Old Pete's balls had drug the ground.
Pete reeled in his dick and pounded his chest;
Got on two horses and rode off West.
As a lasting memory to the great Old Whore,
They hung her drawers on the Bar Room door.
And all the soap this side of hell,
Couldn't wash away that whorehouse smell!
Now Old Pete died and went to hell:
Fucked the devil and his wife as well!
The little imps screamed and climbed the wall,
Yelling, "Get him out of here before he fucks us all!"
He fucked ninety-eight and his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!
TheBookman
> And yet another version -- apparently, there are 25 versions of this
> folk poem...
>
> And so far, no responses from AFH -- so either your jaws are all
> dropping, you're covering the kids' eyes, you don't have anything to
> say, and/or you just wish I'd shut up and go away on this...
>
> Or not.
Geez, I gotta sleep _sometime_, have patience!
>
> This is what we call research in the lit-crit field...
"I am never forgetting the first time I meet the great Loebachevski
In vun verd he teach me secret to success in mathematics:
'Plagirize'..."
;-)
>
> Is it any wonder RAH made fun of us?
Well, he also made fun of lawyers, politiciancs and... Never mind.
<Snip>
> Now Old Pete died and went to hell:
> Fucked the devil and his wife as well!
> The little imps screamed and climbed the wall,
> Yelling, "Get him out of here before he fucks us all!"
>
> He fucked ninety-eight and his balls turned blue,
> Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!
ISTR this las couplet was used in another bawd, somewhere.
The previous verse (directly or independantly) got tapped for the last
verse in a later bawdy song which I learned my military days, TTTO "When
Johnny comes marching home":
Three German officers crossed the Rhine, taboo, taboo
Three German officers crossed the Rhine, taboo, taboo
Three German officers crossed the Rhine,
To eat the women and drink the wine
and they all said Seig Heil! tickle-my-ass taboo
They came upon a wayside inn, taboo, taboo
They came upon a wayside inn, taboo, taboo
They came upon a wayside inn
and kicked the fuckin' door right in
and they all said Seig Heil! tickle-my-ass taboo
The 'keeper had a daughter fair, taboo, taboo
The 'keeper had a daughter fair, taboo, taboo
The 'keeper had a daughter fair,
with great big tits and long blonde hair
and they all said Seig Heil! tickle-my-ass taboo
The keeper had a trusty gun, taboo, taboo
The keeper had a trusty gun, taboo, taboo
The keeper had a trusty gun,
and he shot their nuts off, one by one
and they all said Seig Heil! tickle-my-ass taboo
Three German officers went to Hell, taboo, taboo
Three German officers went to Hell, taboo, taboo
Three German officers went to Hell,
And fucked the Devil's wife as well
and they all said Seig Heil! tickle-my-ass taboo
At least, that's what I can still recall. dunno if there's more, memory's
getting full. Wish I could do a defrag on my brain.
Far be it from me to hinder such important research!
--
RtB
kittent
Just dropped by for half a minute...how totally wonderful.
btw, do you have all the verses to the Pawnshop Song recorded?
hugs,
kitten
DocJ...@aol.com
Unfortunately, I can't find any source for that song, and I don't
recall if anybody else has. Seems to be an RAH creation.
Have to wonder if anybody has done any recordings of these songs --
there are bawdy song collections, and a few pieces here and there I
have found, but nothing specific to TEFL.
R.
Gaeltach
<DocJ...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:cbae45c5-a0d0-4c02...@h11g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
> On Mar 17, 12:27 pm, kittent <kitt...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Mar 17, 9:59 am, "DocJa...@aol.com" <DocJa...@aol.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>> > Well, folks, this may be utterly inappropriate to a family newsgroup,
>> > so censor the kids (or something like that).
>>
>> > I think I've found a piece of the genuine "Rangy Lil" poem. If
>> > somebody has more of it, I'd like to know:
>>
>> > This is from a book called "The Cure of Folly" -- by Gordon Warme...
>>
>> > "The poem was about a copulating contest between two legendary
>> > specialists in the art from the far northern reaches of Canada, Rangy
>> > Lil and Pete. Here are a few fragments from mid-contest:
>>
>> > Lil tried shunts, and double shunts, / And tricks unknown to common
>> > cunts, / But Pete kept reeling out more hose, / 'Til through the
>> > portals of Lil's ass, / Nine feet of slimy penis passed. / They hung
>> > Lil's pants on the shithouse door, / In honour of that gallant whore."
>>
>> > Robert James
>>
>> Just dropped by for half a minute...how totally wonderful.
>>
>> btw, do you have all the verses to the Pawnshop Song recorded?
>>
>> hugs,
>>
>> kitten
>
> Unfortunately, I can't find any source for that song, and I don't
> recall if anybody else has. Seems to be an RAH creation.
It ain't the "Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania" pawnshop???
Vance P. Frickey
news:17d7830b-8530-446d...@q78g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> And yet another version -- apparently, there are 25
> versions of this
> folk poem...
>
> And so far, no responses from AFH -- so either your jaws
> are all
> dropping, you're covering the kids' eyes, you don't have
> anything to
> say, and/or you just wish I'd shut up and go away on
> this...
>
> Or not.
>
> This is what we call research in the lit-crit field...
'Careful with them thar phoneme fricatives, fella - you're
one small consonant transposition from... :-)
djinn
> And yet another version -- apparently, there are 25 versions of this
> folk poem...
>
> And so far, no responses from AFH -- so either your jaws are all
> dropping, you're covering the kids' eyes, you don't have anything to
> say, and/or you just wish I'd shut up and go away on this...
>
Like your research - have you seen The Dirty Song Book?
http://www.amazon.com/Dirty-Song-Book-Jerry-Silverman/dp/B000WVU2PK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205802493&sr=1-1
has some good lyrics.
Have to encourage any research that gets you this excited.
Chris Zakes
laser caused "DocJ...@aol.com" <DocJ...@aol.com> to write:
(snippage)
>Now Old Pete died and went to hell:
>Fucked the devil and his wife as well!
>The little imps screamed and climbed the wall,
>Yelling, "Get him out of here before he fucks us all!"
FWIW, this bit may be a reference to Child Ballad #278, "The Farmer's
Curst Wife" which says:
"278A.5 Now Satan has got the old wife on his back,
And he lugged her along, like a pedlar’s pack.
278A.6 He trudged away till they came to his hall-gate;
Says he, Here, take in an old Sussex chap’s mate.
278A.7 O then she did kick the young imps about;
Says one to the other, Let’s try turn her out.
278A.8 She spied thirteen imps all dancing in chains,
She up with her pattens and beat out their brains.
278A.9 She knocked the old Satan against the wall!
‘Let’s turn her out, or she’ll murder us all.’"
http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/eng/child/ch278.htm
-Chris Zakes
Texas
"That's what Jagulars always do," said Pooh, much interested. "They call 'Help!
Help!' and then when you look up they drop on you."
"I'm looking down," cried Piglet loudly.
-A.A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"
DocJ...@aol.com
> On 3月18日, 上午1时54分, "DocJa...@aol.com" <DocJa...@aol.com> wrote:> And yet another version -- apparently, there are 25 versions of this
> > folk poem...
>
> > And so far, no responses from AFH -- so either your jaws are all
> > dropping, you're covering the kids' eyes, you don't have anything to
> > say, and/or you just wish I'd shut up and go away on this...
>
> eh, I'm reading this at 8 in the morning, gimme a break.
>
> has some good lyrics.
> Have to encourage any research that gets you this excited.
Actually, not so much excited, as wanting to solve a problem AFH was
talking about years ago, and never resolved.
Just trying to contribute...
Robert
DocJ...@aol.com
Interesting, since I'm looking at TEFL as a kind of Book of Wisdom....
R.
TheBookman
While I couldn't drag up the song itself from Google, I did get a look as a
Reader's Group where Geo Rule and David Silver mention knowing it external
of RAH, and one mentioned a '78 record of it. Pretty thin, but HTH.
Regards,
--
RtB
jeanette
Masters movie, this topic has provided the most RAH related conversation
in the last two weeks.
Jeanette--who contributes her share of off-topic posts.
TheBookman
> The thing that scares me is that, except for talking about the Puppet
> Masters movie, this topic has provided the most RAH related conversation
> in the last two weeks.
Well, to paraphase RAH, there are really only three things worth talking
about. Two of them are pretty girls, and the other one is cats.
All three have been in short supply, of late - present company gratefully
excluded. <EG>
But considering the uptick in traffic, I tell you what, I'll go ahead &
(t)roll out an on-topic poast, and we'll see how it goes.
Regards,
--
RtB
Christopher X. Candreva
: And yet another version -- apparently, there are 25 versions of this
: folk poem...
: THE LEGEND OF PISSPOT PETE
: Now gather round children and I'll tell a story of old,
: When men were brave and women were bold.
This version sounded familiar. I had a friend in college who was a big fan
of this guy John Valby, who's entire act consisted of dirty poems. Quick
search finds his version "The Ballad Of Big Ass Lil And Yukon Pete", which
sounds like this with more f-words added in.
http://www.allthelyrics.com/song/739739/
The poem you posted sounds quite 'modern' to me . I can't quite put my
finger on it, but it sounded more like a recent attempt to write an old
ballad.
--
==========================================================
Chris Candreva -- ch...@westnet.com -- (914) 948-3162
WestNet Internet Services of Westchester
http://www.westnet.com/
Bill Patterson
Oh, they're keeping itg lively on rec.arts.sf.written where a thread
about the worst Hugos ever given has morphed into a series of
arguments about Starship Troopers, which has shot off its own
branches. Alexei Panshin even showed up a couple of days ago to spot
nits that aren't there. It's into 1100+ posts now.
DocJ...@aol.com
Well, I tried to kickstart another conversation about TEFL, but
nobody's bit...granted, a minor piece of bait...
Robert
Dr. Rufo
So then, based on my few visits there, my guess is that perhaps
four or five of those 1100+ posts were something more than ad
hominem attacks on writers, each other and/or their posting
histories and actually might have been worth reading?
Remember what your Mother told you, Bill, when you lie down with
dogs, you get up with fleas. ;-)
Rufe
Nuclear Waste
"TheBookman" <TheBo...@kc.rr.comNULL> wrote in message
news:1wqw4qkcxjfcb$.izmulr5nkuzn.dlg@40tude.net...
See also Casey Jones by Ron and the Rude Boys. Or just watch
An Officer and a Gentleman.
NW
Yisroel Markov
>And yet another version -- apparently, there are 25 versions of this
>folk poem...
OK, at least this version explains what was so lethal about Pete. But
I'm still not sure what enabled Lil to "pile her victims in a great
big heap." "Thousands of rod-toters came and died"? By what means?
>And so far, no responses from AFH -- so either your jaws are all
>dropping, you're covering the kids' eyes, you don't have anything to
>say, and/or you just wish I'd shut up and go away on this...
>
>Or not.
>
>This is what we call research in the lit-crit field...
This is what I call "analysis" :-)
[snip]
Yisroel "Godwrestler Warriorson" Markov - Boston, MA Member
www.reason.com -- for unbiased analysis of the world DNRC
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"Judge, and be prepared to be judged" -- Ayn Rand
Bill Patterson
Actually, it's been a moderately interesting discussion, since it
started out with someone saying something too extreme even for them,
so all I've had to do is suggest that what's in the text is more
important than what's not.
mike
You need the 5 CDs of Rude Rugby Songs by Ron & the Rude Boys
Classic
TheBookman
> On Mar 17, 6:38 pm, TheBookman <TheBook...@kc.rr.comNULL> wrote:
>> On Mon, 17 Mar 2008 10:54:36 -0700 (PDT), DocJa...@aol.com wrote:
>>> And yet another version -- apparently, there are 25 versions of this
>>> folk poem...
>>
>>> And so far, no responses from AFH -- so either your jaws are all
>>> dropping, you're covering the kids' eyes, you don't have anything to
>>> say, and/or you just wish I'd shut up and go away on this...
>>
>>> Or not.
<snip>
>> At least, that's what I can still recall. dunno if there's more, memory's
>> getting full. Wish I could do a defrag on my brain.
>>
>> Far be it from me to hinder such important research!
>>
>> --
>> RtB
>
>
>
> You need the 5 CDs of Rude Rugby Songs by Ron & the Rude Boys
>
> http://www.rugby-songs.co.uk
>
> Classic
Heh, not me, but perhaps DocJam does. Nice to know _some_one out there is
preserving songs like that, though.
Regards,
--
RtB