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CHOW: Tyrion III
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Butterbumps@Work
Apr 26, 2012, 2:51:58 AM4/26/12
to
This is a CHapter Of the Week" for "A Dance With Dragons", book five
of "A Song of Ice and Fire" by "George R R. Martin". For a full list
of the "A Dance With Dragons" CHOW responsibles and links to the
completed works, go here:
http://stchucky.wordpress.com/2011/10/24/chow-a-dance-with-dragons/
Tyrion III, or ... Tyrion III
In this chapter, Tyrion changes hands from Illyrio to Grif, Ser Duck,
the Halfmaester and allied dodgy characters. That's really about all
that happens, but I'll try to add some more.
Tyrion parts company with Illyrio 'the cheese lord' Mopatis, who hands
over an explanatory letter and a bunch of chests to a group of guys
they meet on the road but with whom he seems familiar. And so Griff
and his team join our story.
Tyrion takes a piss, and swaps witticisms with his new companions,
unaware that this is another step on the path from 'flunky' to 'aide'
to 'companion' to 'owner', which in turn mirrors Tyrion's own
hilarious character development from 'wealthy socialite' to 'loathed
black sheep' to 'luggage' to 'slave' and then possibly back to
'wealthy socialite' (with the added zest of 'who could be killed
brutally at any moment'). He's not at his best, and is increasingly
obsessed with his father and where whores go, but still manages to be
funnier than the rest of them and even halfway charms his new
associates.
They leave Illyrio and head for the river, where they get on a boat
and Tyrion meets the rest of the colourful little company, including a
Septa who will almost certainly get her tits out once or twice per
episode if the HBO series makes it this far. And as much as I have
been insisting that this book is not as dull and uneventful and
disappointing as the previous one - and I still maintain that plenty
*does* happen - it just doesn't really happen in this chapter.
Points for discussion
- Illyrio asks after the boy, so we see here the beginnings - or
continuation of - a convoluted plot to restore the Targaryens to the
throne, in one form or another. Uh, discuss? What do you think they're
playing at here, and why does Illyrio even care about Tyrion?
- Is anyone really buying Tyrion's 'Hugor Hill' / Yollo the dancing
dwarf routine here? And if so, why are they bothering to take him
along?
- Tyrion asks after where whores go, not for the first or last time.
Is this new development part of a plot thread seriously intended to
reunite Tyrion with Tysha? Is he really looking for her? Or is this
just some sort of obsessive circling to show his descent into Drunken
Breakdownville?
- Can you make up a point for discussion? Twenty zaz points to the
best one. Go on. For me? *charmless smile*
Gore-o-meter
Pretty much nothing. Half a flesh-gobbet out of a possible five. Which
I suppose would actually look like just a smaller flesh-gobbet than
usual, half a gobbet is still a gobbet. So one small gobbet out of a
possible five big, sloppy gobbets.
Sex-o-meter
The Septa is sort of harmlessly, tits-out sexy in a leering-pervo-
Tyrion sort of way, but meh. Nothing here either. One mildly-throbbing
semihard out of a possible five proud upstanding erections.
Laff-o-meter
Tyrion cracks some funnies, and Ser Duck has a semi-amusing anecdote
about how he made up his knight-name, but that's mainly funny for the
way it's told. One elastic head-strap for a red nose out of a possible
five red noses.
Final verdict
Much as I'd like to defend the book against its many long-faced and
short-tempered detractors, this really was the sort of chapter they're
complaining about. Okay, it sort of had to happen for Tyrion to
continue his journey, and it does advance thnigs by the introduction
of new players, but ... I don't know, the characters could have been
more fun or the action a bit more actiony. Something more could have
happened. It seems like this series of Tyrion chapters each only
really had one piece of action each, and Martin saved those for the
'cliffhanger' endings. And this chapter didn't even really have one of
them. Meh.
of "A Song of Ice and Fire" by "George R R. Martin". For a full list
of the "A Dance With Dragons" CHOW responsibles and links to the
completed works, go here:
http://stchucky.wordpress.com/2011/10/24/chow-a-dance-with-dragons/
Tyrion III, or ... Tyrion III
In this chapter, Tyrion changes hands from Illyrio to Grif, Ser Duck,
the Halfmaester and allied dodgy characters. That's really about all
that happens, but I'll try to add some more.
Tyrion parts company with Illyrio 'the cheese lord' Mopatis, who hands
over an explanatory letter and a bunch of chests to a group of guys
they meet on the road but with whom he seems familiar. And so Griff
and his team join our story.
Tyrion takes a piss, and swaps witticisms with his new companions,
unaware that this is another step on the path from 'flunky' to 'aide'
to 'companion' to 'owner', which in turn mirrors Tyrion's own
hilarious character development from 'wealthy socialite' to 'loathed
black sheep' to 'luggage' to 'slave' and then possibly back to
'wealthy socialite' (with the added zest of 'who could be killed
brutally at any moment'). He's not at his best, and is increasingly
obsessed with his father and where whores go, but still manages to be
funnier than the rest of them and even halfway charms his new
associates.
They leave Illyrio and head for the river, where they get on a boat
and Tyrion meets the rest of the colourful little company, including a
Septa who will almost certainly get her tits out once or twice per
episode if the HBO series makes it this far. And as much as I have
been insisting that this book is not as dull and uneventful and
disappointing as the previous one - and I still maintain that plenty
*does* happen - it just doesn't really happen in this chapter.
Points for discussion
- Illyrio asks after the boy, so we see here the beginnings - or
continuation of - a convoluted plot to restore the Targaryens to the
throne, in one form or another. Uh, discuss? What do you think they're
playing at here, and why does Illyrio even care about Tyrion?
- Is anyone really buying Tyrion's 'Hugor Hill' / Yollo the dancing
dwarf routine here? And if so, why are they bothering to take him
along?
- Tyrion asks after where whores go, not for the first or last time.
Is this new development part of a plot thread seriously intended to
reunite Tyrion with Tysha? Is he really looking for her? Or is this
just some sort of obsessive circling to show his descent into Drunken
Breakdownville?
- Can you make up a point for discussion? Twenty zaz points to the
best one. Go on. For me? *charmless smile*
Gore-o-meter
Pretty much nothing. Half a flesh-gobbet out of a possible five. Which
I suppose would actually look like just a smaller flesh-gobbet than
usual, half a gobbet is still a gobbet. So one small gobbet out of a
possible five big, sloppy gobbets.
Sex-o-meter
The Septa is sort of harmlessly, tits-out sexy in a leering-pervo-
Tyrion sort of way, but meh. Nothing here either. One mildly-throbbing
semihard out of a possible five proud upstanding erections.
Laff-o-meter
Tyrion cracks some funnies, and Ser Duck has a semi-amusing anecdote
about how he made up his knight-name, but that's mainly funny for the
way it's told. One elastic head-strap for a red nose out of a possible
five red noses.
Final verdict
Much as I'd like to defend the book against its many long-faced and
short-tempered detractors, this really was the sort of chapter they're
complaining about. Okay, it sort of had to happen for Tyrion to
continue his journey, and it does advance thnigs by the introduction
of new players, but ... I don't know, the characters could have been
more fun or the action a bit more actiony. Something more could have
happened. It seems like this series of Tyrion chapters each only
really had one piece of action each, and Martin saved those for the
'cliffhanger' endings. And this chapter didn't even really have one of
them. Meh.
Rast
Apr 26, 2012, 3:38:25 AM4/26/12
to
Butterbumps@Work wrote...
> Much as I'd like to defend the book against its many long-faced and
> short-tempered detractors, this really was the sort of chapter they're
> complaining about. Okay, it sort of had to happen for Tyrion to
> continue his journey
Did it have to happen on-screen?
> short-tempered detractors, this really was the sort of chapter they're
> complaining about. Okay, it sort of had to happen for Tyrion to
> continue his journey
Butterbumps@Work
Apr 26, 2012, 5:04:53 AM4/26/12
to
was at least semi-important.
B@w
--
And man, did my writing suck there. What the fuck is a "thnigs"?
"...each only
really had one piece of action each...", what the Hell is that? Larry,
scold me.
Will in New Haven
Apr 29, 2012, 4:01:09 PM4/29/12
to
characters, or don't need many or new plot complications or more
things to delay the end of the series. Then there's the fact that the
new characters often mean nothing in the long term. This may have been
the least interesting chapter in the book but that is a contest with
many strong entrants. For a _Tyrion_ chapter to be so dull took
effort. Martin used to like Tyrion but I suspect he used to like
writing these books. Now he only does it because he is our bitch.
Let's sell him.
I'll be frank, although I am Will, I only follow this newsgroup
because I like talking to you lot. It isn't as interesting without
Penelope but we have had a lot of fun conversations and I hope to have
some more. I may read the next book, just as Martin may write it.
--
Will in New Haven
Butterbumps@Work
May 4, 2012, 6:33:24 AM5/4/12
to
On 29 huhti, 23:01, Will in New Haven
perfectly happy to read 200 pages of setup for it. I guess I'm
Martin's bitch. Which makes me your bitch's bitch. Which makes me sort
of like Tyrion as these chapters progress.
> This may have been
> the least interesting chapter in the book but that is a contest with
> many strong entrants. For a _Tyrion_ chapter to be so dull took
> effort.
Truth. They got steadily better but this could have used some tabasco.
Or a good hard editing.
> Martin used to like Tyrion but I suspect he used to like
> writing these books. Now he only does it because he is our bitch.
Oh, I think he enjoyed writing this one a lot more than the previous
one. I just hope he keeps up the momentum.
Problem is, Tyrion had a long way to go and a difficult time to get
there, and Martin took the opportunity to bring in these other plot
points. Should he have done so? Debatable. But it was never going to
be as simple as "Tyrion showed up as a petitioner at Daenerys's
court". I would have been disappointed by that.
> I'll be frank, although I am Will, I only follow this newsgroup
> because I like talking to you lot. It isn't as interesting without
> Penelope but we have had a lot of fun conversations and I hope to have
> some more. I may read the next book, just as Martin may write it.
I concur, and am pleased you continue here in spite of the books, even
though we often abseil all up and down one another's tits.
B@w
--
And without Penelope around, I know you don't enjoy that so much.
<bill.re...@taylorandfrancis.com> wrote:
> > Much as I'd like to defend the book against its many long-faced and
> > short-tempered detractors, this really was the sort of chapter they're
> > complaining about. Okay, it sort of had to happen for Tyrion to
> > continue his journey, and it does advance thnigs by the introduction
> > of new players, but ... I don't know, the characters could have been
> > more fun or the action a bit more actiony. Something more could have
> > happened. It seems like this series of Tyrion chapters each only
> > really had one piece of action each, and Martin saved those for the
> > 'cliffhanger' endings. And this chapter didn't even really have one of
> > them. Meh.
>
> The thing about the new characters is that we don't _need_ new
> characters, or don't need many or new plot complications or more
> things to delay the end of the series. Then there's the fact that the
> new characters often mean nothing in the long term.
I did enjoy the dragon-prince-burnout sequence though, and was
> > Much as I'd like to defend the book against its many long-faced and
> > short-tempered detractors, this really was the sort of chapter they're
> > complaining about. Okay, it sort of had to happen for Tyrion to
> > continue his journey, and it does advance thnigs by the introduction
> > of new players, but ... I don't know, the characters could have been
> > more fun or the action a bit more actiony. Something more could have
> > happened. It seems like this series of Tyrion chapters each only
> > really had one piece of action each, and Martin saved those for the
> > 'cliffhanger' endings. And this chapter didn't even really have one of
> > them. Meh.
>
> The thing about the new characters is that we don't _need_ new
> characters, or don't need many or new plot complications or more
> things to delay the end of the series. Then there's the fact that the
> new characters often mean nothing in the long term.
perfectly happy to read 200 pages of setup for it. I guess I'm
Martin's bitch. Which makes me your bitch's bitch. Which makes me sort
of like Tyrion as these chapters progress.
> This may have been
> the least interesting chapter in the book but that is a contest with
> many strong entrants. For a _Tyrion_ chapter to be so dull took
> effort.
Or a good hard editing.
> Martin used to like Tyrion but I suspect he used to like
> writing these books. Now he only does it because he is our bitch.
one. I just hope he keeps up the momentum.
Problem is, Tyrion had a long way to go and a difficult time to get
there, and Martin took the opportunity to bring in these other plot
points. Should he have done so? Debatable. But it was never going to
be as simple as "Tyrion showed up as a petitioner at Daenerys's
court". I would have been disappointed by that.
> I'll be frank, although I am Will, I only follow this newsgroup
> because I like talking to you lot. It isn't as interesting without
> Penelope but we have had a lot of fun conversations and I hope to have
> some more. I may read the next book, just as Martin may write it.
though we often abseil all up and down one another's tits.
B@w
--
And without Penelope around, I know you don't enjoy that so much.
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