< EARLY BULLETIN
DANVILLE, Pa. (Rueters) -- Hi! Ho! Silver!
Ed Conrad no longer is a Lone Ranger.
After being declared legally insane by
a bunch of neurologists at Geisinger Medical
Center, Ed now finds himself a member in
good standing in a very special fraternity.
It's called the Legally Insane Club and
boasts dozens and dozens of the zaniest
people you could ever meet.
The president is radio talk show blowhard
Rush Limbaugh and also includes celebrities
such as Bill O. Reilly, Sean "Ins" Hannity, Dr.
Evil, Glenn Beck, Ann "Douche Bag" Coulter,
Donald Trump, Georgie W. Bush, Adolf
Hitler, Sen. Joe McCarthy, Genghis Khan
and Idi Amin.
Ed Conrad qualified for membership by
miserably failing the brain test -- as all of the
others had done before him.
The Ignorant Bastard has been driving
evolutionists, atheists and brain-dead college
students berserk by producing undeniable
evidence that man is as old as coal and
that neither you nor your loved ones are
really dead when you die.
The neurologists who had intensely
examined him unanimously agreed that Ed's
loonier than a piano tuner.
"We really like the guy but we all agree
that he's a slam-dunk for a nutcase," the 14
mental-health experts stated in a statement
while releasing a 262-page report that's bound
to put a lot of people to sleep.
Conrad, described as a nincompoop on
Wikipedia and in the American Medical Journal,
is accused of making other preposterous
claims on the Internet for almost two decades,
causing many users to cancel their network
JUST A FEW EXAMPLES OF ED CONRAD'S LUNACY
YES, VIRGINIA, 911 INDEED WAS A CONSPIRACY
NOW WE KNOW FOR SURE WHO KILLED JFK
MAN AS OLD AS COAL
DEATH DOES NOT EXIST
MOONED OVER MIAMI
WAS JESUS MARRIED WITH KIDS?
TIME TO END THE CANCER CURE CONSPIRACY