while you were in Phoenix....
Tolstrup
> >> <Believing High Sorcery was a gift with no strings attached.>
> >so in a nutshell 'good alignment' is a crock?
> No, more like the plans of the gods have timelines measured in the millenia,
> and it's hard for mortals, who see only glimpses of it in phases, to see the
> real reasons for some arbitrary seeming decisions. RotBS describes the "gods
> have muliplanar responsibilites" concepts and hints at this..
to hell with 3rd ed turning back the clock to the seventies, sounds like
a case of world crossovers not even Planescape tried - it was always
quite specific that the gods of Krynnspace only had interests there. In
any event, having a lot of responsibilities does not make the Big
Brother approach a good act. And if they're busy elsewhere they can
appoint a subordinate; say a gestalt entity of the minds of all conclave
members?
>
> <Number 1 stays in power by causing infighting among rivals>
> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
> >they're the smart ones. You've presumably heard about Anwar Ibrahim?
> No I haven't. But I see it in the corporate world on a day to day basis.
Malaysian deputy PM. Instituting reform and building himself up as a
successor to Mahathir, who's been in power for an ungodly period. Got
sacked for corruption and sodomy, and the trial was internationally
recognised as a farce. He's in jail till well after the next election
though. This is the same PM who regularly uses Malay- and Islam-
chauvinist politics, an inveterate racist who accuses other countries of
his blatant sin.
> >> >> <Rohan's one of Australia's Most Wanted>
<AUSTEO files>
> >> The crawlspace shenanigans make good tabloid fodder.
> >
> >I'll just hand them a good scandal then.
>
> Nice way to fatten your bank account and become famous at the same time.
now, I've got to decide on cast, setting and plot. Take your passion
and make it happen.
> >> >Pity Scully's at least 40 by now.
> >>
> >> She's still to young for you, eh?
> >
> >excuse me while I retch.
> Must have been something you ate, like that porridge.
puking's not a problem with porridge - it practically bypasses the
stomach. I did say 'at least,' not 'only.' Of course, my wererat at
one point was able to commit unlawful carnal knowledge with a vampire
(meant to be his girlfriend in a weird parallel world where he was an
assassin hated by his best friend's chick)
> >I felt ripped off by the movie, they never
> >even carried guns and she *still* doesn't believe in aliens.
>
> I shocked my friends by waiting for the video and was glad I did. It was no
> better than an X-Files TV movie.
wow, we got to see Mulder swear and piss in an alley. How much to see
them carved up with chainsaws and trucked to Soylent Green Inc (trading
as McDonalds according to the producers, who paint conspiracy theorists'
legitimate concerns as entertainment)?
> >> >> <Cat Fur Fashions>
> >isn't the western female thing to shave body/facial hair? Miss
> >Bigglesworth?
>
> I'll consider it when Mike Myers comes calling.
he's one of my alternate identities. But feel free to slap him for not
making sure cinemas were flooded with marijuana smoke; it should be
illegal to watch that film straight.
> >> >> ><Spike on viagra?>
> >cats reincarnate as cats. I hope. I don't want to speculate on what I
> >might have been.
>
> Wolf, I'd say. Howl for me to confirm it.
at least there's a degree of nobility there. Would heavy breathing do?
> >> >> >> >> ><kender keggers>
<why topknots?>
> >> Keeps their long hair out of the beer mugs as well.
> >
> >two reasons. But they'd use twirly straws wouldn't they?
>
> Yes, but if they didn't tie it back they'd have to always wash the beer smell
> out. Beer may be good for hair, but it smells like nausea.
kender probably experiment with 'novelty perfume.' In an event that
didn't quite come out at the roleplaying table, Cassii the Cuddable
Kender probably used a fart gas aerosol on those delicate jailbait
underarms. I figure kender would use foamdomes; with properly sealed
tops hair's no worry, although you're going to sweat a bit.
> >> >> >> >> <Soth's Implants>
> >> >> ><gnomish prosthetics>
> >> >> >><Theros' silver substitutes are embarrassing at airports>
<friends in customs>
> >they give me some great recruiting pointers, and I even provide them
> >with the crack to plant.
>
> You'd think you'd get better seating on the flights as a benefit, then.
I'd need to get my passport back for that then, wouldn't I? National
****ing Crime Authority razzerfrazzen...
> >> >> ><Morten the stalker>
> >> >now nice. Say "hi" to my Colt Python .357.
> >>
> >> Right after you've shaken hands with my sawed off shotgun.
> >
> >okay, I'm holding it and pointing it in a safe direction. Bye.
>
> Nice to see you resigned to your fate.
you've got an interesting defn of 'safe.' Do you gamble much? In all
the excitement getting into your house I lost my count...
> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
> ><what the cat saw>
> >> >the church was closed for renovation
> >>
> >> Those weren't exactly the Book of Common Prayer she found lying around.
> >
> >different religion
>
> Those weren't exactly Michelangelo etchings she found, either.
so my prayer book is tattooed on humans sewn together on the right side.
I can even get them to walk in step. To hell with your boring old bible
> >> >> >> ><Gilbert, feline Barney Gumble>
> ><Spike, barber for hire>
> >> >well, his food ordering technique involves herding and nipping
> >>
> >> Very familiar. I am sure there are some smacks with the paw thrown in for
> >good measure.
> >
> >he can't reach my knees. He also guards steps.
>
> My cats go for ankles, and strategically position themselves at bed and sofa
> corners.
we've 1984d him with Bunsen. And I wear jeans, and usually thick socks
and/or boots.
> >> >
> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar>
<removalists and well-dressed cats>
> >so therefore people who constantly maneuvre heavy objects are sadists?
>
> They are if they do things like bring TV sets precariously close to being
> scratched on bannisters.
didn't think you'd have the strength. Napoleon Complex?
> >> >> <Tarentino does Disney>
<Snow White: Deathmatch>
> >> But Snow wouldn't stand a chance against the Queen if she has to get close
> >> enough to physically whack her in two.
> >
> >a film I'd like to see. The Queen at least I can relate to - her beauty
> >was probably one of her major tools, and she didn't want a rival.
>
> I won't hate you because you're beautiful, Koalataur. But this explains why
> you want to whack Leo D.
that's not quite what I meant, my dear muse and canvas.
> > Snow was just a useless Handsome Prince Factory notable only for her beauty.
> You can't blame Snow for that -- it was the Queen who pulled her out of school
> and had her do hard labor early.
wasn't it one of those schools where they learn to walk around with
books on their heads? Otherwise she probably wouldn't have learned
anything practical - and she probably recoiled at 'female' tasks. Of
course, the idea of that cutesy Disney damsel cleaning up after Happy
and Grumpy play football with a potty :)
> >> >> >> >> <Raistlin wore a Trenchcoat beneath his robes>
> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
>
> >either way is equally infuriating, especially if the subject didn't do
> >anything to warrant the treatment.
> If someone cares enough to hate you, at least you have the satisfaction of
> knowing that any good thing that happens to you is a dagger in that person's
> side. Hating someone who doesn't give a hoot has to be more frustrating. It's
> like yelling at someone who doesn't yell back.
true. What if you don't accomplish anything? Can you just waste the
bastards then?
> >> >> <Heart to Heart Chat>
> ><you need two hearts for a collection>
> >> >....oops, my mistake. I'm not a serial killer, honest.
> >> No one really believes anymore that Spike's the one bringing in the dead
> >> critters.
> >why would I settle for possums and birds?
> Because you can pass these off as science experiments and throw people off the
> scent.
but I'm a straight humanities student. And I've been in the trade since
before I went to uni anyway.
> ><Altarielle's payoff: citizenship award>
> >> >I would've asked for political access as a payoff.
> >> And like a true politician, I would have reneged as soon as I had what I
> >> wanted.
> >
> >CVIVS TESTICVLOS HABES, HABEAS CARDIA ET CEREBELLVM - when you have their
> undivided attention, you have their hearts and minds
>
> Since when is testicles a synonym for mind? It certainly would be an attention
> getter, I grant you that.
you've got a dirty mind. That's the Latin translation iirc.
> >> ><Caligula rocked>
> ><Madonna's don't watch porn - there goes my Taxi Driver routine>
> >> >of course not. Cool when he systematically killed his allies.
> >> Going by the BBC version of Caligula in "I Claudius," he seemed to be
> >randomly choosing his victims toward the end.
> >and why not? His "that stand of papyrus is Britain. Destroy it. Now I
> >have conquered Britain" was great.
> Caligula was a barrel of demented laughs, true. My favorite wacko Caligula
> deed is the promotion of Incitatus to senator.
that was his horse, wasn't it? It wasn't bad when he declared his
newborn daughter Julia to be male.
> >> >> >> >> <Plausible naughty Rohan contingencies>
> >> >> >> Is that why I wake up more exhausted than when I went to bed?
> >> >> >possibly. So you supress?
> >> >> More like yawn and go back to sleep.
> >> >my plan is working
> >>
> >> <Yawn> If you say so.
> >sleep tight
>
> Whatever you say, Mr. Sandman.
the urge to put things in your eyes while asleep... your sweet face, in
the unsuspecting embrace of slumber...
> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
> >> >> <Magic as an occupation of last resort>
> >> <Raistlin would have been lynched without Antimodes>
> >> >wizards are rare and draw their power from nonconventional sources.
> >>
> >> A reason to cultivate their good will. After all, Lemuel's father had been
> >a war mage, so there were conventional occupations available to wizards.
> >
> >of course, it's not exactly hard to control them. To begin with, how
> >fast can they run and what do they know about hiding out?
>
> There's more to think about than that, though -- like "who will avenge the
> wizard if we kill him", and "are there even more powerful wizards out there?"
in a normal situation nobody. If the conclave steps in we're talking
about Lost Battles.
> >> >Beautiful stranger.
> >> I'm flattered.
> >you should be, oh JPEG goddess
>
> Blessed be, my son.
I saw the stretchmarks, but not the plastic surgery. Who did it and do
they do men's faces?
>
> >> >> <A little prayer>
> ><the ritual didn't work? Hah!>
> >> Promises, promises.
> >tie yourself to a pair of pillars and say that
> Couldn't scratch my left toe if I did that.
you'll be standing on crushed glass so it'll get scratched fine
> >> Yes, everyone can sympathize with the prototypical angry young man.
> >I certainly can. One of my DMs just said that Drizzt has a sister who
> >is a goddess of evil dragons
> Cheese seems to be a popular snack food among TSR customers.
pity then. DL and Birthright both put major effort into re-mystifying
wizards. BR's been discontinued and DL's lost the conclave and the
conditions that made mages rare and mysterious.
> >> >> >> ><airport ID>
> ><command me!>
> >> >> 5' 2'' inch hands wouldn't hurt *that* much.
> >> >only one way to find out. Remember, the spell doesn't work on men, and
> >> >a woman trying to cast it is tarred & feathered instead.
> >> My counter spell takes care of that. Thanks for the ear, BTW. It was my
> >> missing spell component.
> >
> >first you've gotta consider who invented the spell and their motives
>
> I have the blessing of the gods of gun control, so the counter spell should be
> a doozy.
do you really want the blessings of Satan?
> >> >> >> ><seven dwarves with white beards>
> ><Handsome prince is their bitch>
> >> >I much prefer the White Wolf approach - that there's an octagenarian
> >> >wererat who drew similar cartoons in the 20s out for REVENGE. Let's
> >> >have the dwarves be communists as well.
> >> And the prince is really a vice cop who blew the whistle, right? I've
> >noticed there is a pattern to this.
> >oh, not quite. I just like the idea of one of those Boyzone clones
> >getting the shit kicked out of him by angry blokes with chest hair, beer
> >bellies and flatulence
> Danny DeVito is probably a big fan of yours.
you can't choose your fans I guess. He's not exactly Mr People. Fame!
I want to live forever.
> >> >> >> >> <Maligned step-parents>
> ><age of consent: the final frontier>
> >> >well, I'm trying to get that lowered...
> >> But in the meantime, it's best that you keep your pants raised.
> >I shouldn't have eaten porridge, chips and roast vegies over the course
> >of today then.
> If this makes you particularly flatulent, you should take the opportunity to
> find a vice cop to beat up.
handsome princes sound better. And flatulence isn't my main concern
> >> >> >> < Jerry Springer's mellowed>
> >> >> ><will he kill himself?>
> ><they elected WHO?>
> >> >and here I am about to vote for a state opposition fundamentally
> >> >incapable of knocking off the government, living in a govt safe seat.
> >> >We're stuck with this govt for at least another four years, total 12.
> >> You sound like a Ross Perot fan to me. If the majority of Australia is
> >> complacent, can it be because the status quo is just not that bad?
> >Australians are apathetic, and we've been trained to accept monolithic
> >and immortal government. Bob Menzies was PM 1950-67 and retired
> >victorious at 70, and his three successors (one drowned, one was
> >undermined and one was Reagan sans popularity) lasted until '72. The
> >new govt had no experienced ministers. Neither of my parents knew
> >anything else federally until they were my age. When you consider how
> >easy it was for the powers that be to crush a newcomer at the last
> >election, a status quo established by elites and maintained by
> >apathy/lack of revolution is the case.
> That's why you're unhappy. What makes the "non-elites" unhappy but apathetic
> enough not to challenge the establishment?
lack of organisation. That was actually what Pauline Hanson was really
about - an ordinary Aussie honestly giving her opinions on a range of
issues that the ruling elites had censored from the agenda. There are
plenty of minor political parties out there, but because of apathy the
most radical groups tend to gain undue prominence. During the 'gun
debate' the media was more interested in a nutty Queenslander
threatening to draw blood than the more moderate pro-gun groups.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Altarielle worship>
> ><wanna come over?>
> >> >> I want my cocoa with marshmellows, please.
> >> >okay. Baldrick!
> >> Whatever happened to Jeeves?
> >he saw what Baldrick used instead of non-dairy creamer
>
> I'll order takeout, thanks,
even my great-grandfather was able to make tea, boil eggs and cook
toast. Do you mean to say you can't boil water, add a couple of
teaspoons and stir? But I'll happily take you out. There are some
lovely locations along the Yarra.
> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
> >> >I'm sure he's got an active embassy in Sancrist. Elves are after all
> >> >still shaken by the WotL.
> >> But those folks are busy watching the Solamnic power brokers.
> >
> >somebody in Qualinost has to have a grasp of reality. And I still view
> >the KoS behaviour as inconsistent.
> The KoS are inconsistent, but functional. The folks in Qualinost are in "wait
> and see" mode.
I think we can accurately trace all of this back to Hickman's plotting
for DoSF. Couldn't he have just come up with something original?
> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
> >> >> >she tried to undress him anyway?
> >> >> She is blind, you know.
> >> >well, we already knew he was a masochist. Did he really have to do
> >> >that?
> >> Don't know. It sounds like a guy thing to me.
> >thanks for writing off a gender
>
> I'm not writing off a gender -- life would be very boring without men -- but it
> would be wrong of me to claim to understand everything a man does.
I'm not saying I do. I suppose now I'm going to find out the definition
of 'men' who are worthy of continued existence includes more than a Y
chromosome?
> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
> >realise that in afaik any comparable case the problem's solved soon
> >after it arises? Apart from Emancipation (a Civil War stunt by the
> >north, which didn't care about blacks either) I can't think of a case.
> Warsaw Pact, which was supposed to stop the advance of Hitler? US entry into
> WWII?
Warsaw Pact happened *in reaction* to NATO (one of my favorite Cold War
moments is the yanks going apeshit over missiles in Cuba, when they'd
been able to wipe out the eastern bloc for years). But WW2 had the
outcomes that they avoided the mistakes of Versailles (cool that Hitler
got the French to surrender in the same train carriage as that stupid
treaty) and became much more interventionistic on minority rights. That
this led to a 'Jewish nation' being imposed on Arabs by the Great Powers
is a ripple effect of course (I'm not a fan of Israel). Overall I'd say
the underlying problems of WW2 were solved, and the dodgy policies were
changed.
> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
> >and they would've hung around when they realised the rules simply did
> >not make sense? Tanin and Sturm are important in this. They knew.
>
> They were told by a man they admired, Gunthar, that change was in the wings,
> and the induction of Tanin and Sturm, two non-Solamnics, symbolized that
> further changes were coming.
Tika certainly would've taken a keen interest in what her sons were
planning on doing. Bit of a Mrs Bates persona there. She would've
refused to let them join an organisation incapable of doing laundry.
> >> >> <Why should the knights listen to Laurana over Gunthar?>
> >still pretty dry and political though. His image is just too tarnished
> Only by senility at the very end. And Gunthar had made changes in recruitment
> policies that were indicative of more positive efforts to come.
it's not sufficient until they let in anybody with the ideological
requirement. That means regardless of social class, nationality, gender
or race. I see no reason why they should exclude the lower classes,
elves, dwarves and minotaurs. Especially in the Fifth Age, where any
other policy means they're not taking the Oath seriously.
This sounds like that 'progressive' President in Iran - a cleric
himself, and pretty conservative.
> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the failure of the
> >treaty>
> >> >wouldn't Crownguard have given the old guard plum positions in his
> >> >brigade? Sounds like a great way of decimating the internal opposition.
> >>
> >> There will always be those who believe that Crownguard failed because he
> >was insane, not because the Measure was obsolete.
> >a minority thanks to that charge of his
> The charge confirmed that he was insane, and gave old-timers a chance to
> absolve the Measure itself of any blame.
but having put so much support behind him, they must've been discredited
or at least weakened. Sturm's faction on the other hand is constantly
pointing out how stupid some of the rules are.
> <The knighthood is comprised of undisciplined youngsters and conservative moderates>
> >well, the problems shown there arose directly from TSR's failure to
> >address the issue in a realistic manner. Even if they weren't
> >interested (which I must add is an entirely different world) they would
> >not have allowed Gunthar to do it alone.
> True, but that's the way the thing was plotted, and it's the only in-world
> explanation for the delay in revising the Measure.
why don't they just say that to banish Takhy *again* after the war it
was necessary to blow up a hitherto unknown fourth moon, made entirely
out of crack?
> >> >> <Here puppy, puppy>
> >> >> >I'm not quite at that stage yet. I still entertain faint hopes that I
> >> >> >can legally get what I want.
> >> >> Legal is always the best.
> >> >yeah, it's something I'd rather not go to jail for
> >> Not with so many other reasons that can get you some quality jail time.
> >let's just say there are some specific offences I'd rather not end up in
> >jail for.
> You mean the other seventeen besides the one you're discussing obscurely here?
I'm not publicly planning a criminal offence. And the other seventeen
aren't all what I'm worried about. Inmates tend to be pretty Old
Testament in some respects...
> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
> ><splaaaaaaash>
> >> Dog saliva is just as effective on dried stains.
> >
> >nobody lets him upstairs
>
> Sounds like Bunsen should picket your room. Spike gets in, doesn't he?
when I'm not looking. And Bunsen has to get up the stairs first. We've
started putting suitcases at the bottom again.
> >> <Morten as stepdad?!!!>
> >> >> I thought you were a gentleman farmer.
> >> >I need something legit.
> >> Gentleman author, then.
> >then I'd have to learn how to write. I can certainly come up with
> >angsty characters though. You should see Sword.
> Is this the Sword of Betrayal you mentioned before?
nah. The Sword of Betrayal is a Chaos War artifact. "Sword" is a
professional assassin who changed sides. Having done almost every evil
thing imaginable, he's now trying to redeem himself
> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
> ><appointment in Tooradin>
> >> >> You have to find me first. Better hope Bunsen lives up to the Retriever
> >> >> heritage.
> >> >just send us something from your dirty clothes basket, preferably
> >> >pocketable.
> >> You really enjoy testing my madonna resolve, don't you?
> >your words, not mine. You could send socks.
> If I sent you socks, how could you be certain they were mine?
generic term. Hosiery would do, or I could probably pocket one of your
blouses. But my general criteria remain: pocketable, infused with your
scent, and if possible constructed so I can pull it over Bunsen's muzzle
(I don't want him eating it).
> >> >> <Camera work>
> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
> >> >ever consider this could be disinformation?
> >> Gilbert has to deal with Vee, remember?
> >I bought her off as well. She's doing quite well in the tank lessons.
> She's quite the mercenary, and will switch allegiances at the hint of a better
> offer. The Sunday shrimp dinners are still working, AFAIK.
you're assuming I haven't promised her an alternate source
> >> >> >> ><can she swing a cat?>
> >> >think Takhy only male and mortal.
> >> Cheer up. She did come close to winning once.
> >because of Gilean's incompetence
> There's a Gilean out there who'll give you your big break someday.
under such delightful moral circumstances...
> >> >> >> <Rohan's birthmark>
> ><6' kitten for sale>
> >> >you need to see me in person to know my capabilities
> >> Are you sure about that? There are some DL completists out there who would
> >> just love to add an AFDL collectible like yourself to their collections.
> >well, who would bid highest?
> Depends. If Renton bids on a 6' kitten in order to do some sort of hideous
> experiments to him, I'd be honor bound to save him because I'm such a cat fan.
great, now I've got to figure out how to get WotC to play along
> >> Although I do believe seeing you in person would be a rather interesting
> >> experience. Renton could probably make some extra cash if they flew you in
> >for Gen Con.
> >it would beat hiding in a trawler I suppose, although on the other hand
> >there's documentary proof I'm in-country.
> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
imagine me there
> >> <Aussies in drag>
> >> >> >I'll just frock up. If they're like me they'll assume I'm female.
> >> >> My male legion has a marked preference for petite brunettes.
> >> >Simon then.
> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
> >blackmail
> Simon has the crocodile skinner. You seem to forget that.
so, I've got a rubber knife of similar size. Carry one of those home on
the train and you get somewhat apprehensive about being stopped by the
law. Be less embarrassing to be busted with the real thing. And he's
got a croc skinner, I've got *something else*
> >> >> You'll have to enlighten me.
> >> >kiss me you fool
> >> <smooch, on the right facial cheek> That's as much as the madonna code
> >allows.
> >excuse me while I contemplate a .38 Chief's Special snubnose revolver
> I won't let you shoot on the first date, dear.
for once it's not for you. But can we get that 1st date out of the way
already?
> >> ><last supper>
> >> >try to avoid the 'laxative effect' stuff
> >> If you behave, I will.
> >it's in everybody's interest
> Depends on your point of view.
nobody wants to leave a shitty corpse
> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
> >> I always knew I was a mental giant.
> >you ARE taller than most dwarves
> Damn prettier too. No beard.
the key point of a Discworld dwarven courtship is to discreetly inquire
about gender. But I think it gives character
> >> >> >What about sewergator Russian
> >> >> >Roulette? Something frightening about a midget woman in a dodgem car
> >> >> Imagine what I'd do if I really could drive.
> >> >steal cars, crash 'em and leave a steaming calling card.
> >> Something like that. But madonnas aren't into theft. I'd have to leave
> >that to Vee.
getting back to this point, I note you're only delegating theft to Vee
> <description of wonderfully intelligent, morally upright individual>
> What a nice man he must be.
will my game PLEASE arrive already? I've got a tightwad DM who keeps
changing rules and making illogical decisions, and three other players
who aren't especially into roleplaying. Strong tendencies to play elves
just because of the abilities, and play 'em like humans.
> I'm off to Phoenix tomorrow afternoon, so I most likely will not be posting
> again until 9/7/99.
unless you've got a time machine I doubt you can answer this on 9th July
'99. mm/dd/yy doesn't really make sense the same as the 'in order of
denomination' system.
As always, I will be looking forward to another Tolstrup
> opus upon my return.
Is it so hard to satisfy your senses?
> It has been fun, and will continue to be so upon my return.
so, how many did you bag? In those moments when you were all alone, did
you think of me?
At this rate, when you need me in the middle of the night I won't be
there, 'cause you're always breaking my heart. And now I find out
Cassii went and got engaged without telling me. Grrr <spin>.
Rohan "AK Romeo" Tolstrup
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
<Good alignment is a crock?>
<Per RotBS, the gods have multiplanar responsibilities>
>to hell with 3rd ed turning back the clock to the seventies, sounds like
>a case of world crossovers not even Planescape tried - it was always
>quite specific that the gods of Krynnspace only had interests there.
The way that the gods of Krynn are described in DoSF reminds me of Eddings'
gods in the Belgariad, who created the world against their father's better
judgement as a place where they could be worshipped. If the gods of Krynn
created their world as their own personal fiefdom, there are probably other
forces out there who may want a piece of the action and against whom the gods
remain vigilant. Or the Krynnish gods created other worlds in the boredom
following the first Cataclysm.
>In any event, having a lot of responsibilities does not make the Big
>Brother approach a good act. And if they're busy elsewhere they can
>appoint a subordinate; say a gestalt entity of the minds of all conclave
>members?
Maybe that's how the Master of the Tower as a separate entity came about?
Besides, since we know that the gods can't really withhold access to magic,
then I can see someone like Tak being rather reluctant to set up a caretaker
deity that could spearhead a coup.
>> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
>> >they're the smart ones. You've presumably heard about Anwar Ibrahim?
>> No I haven't. But I see it in the corporate world on a day to day basis.
>
<explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
Sounds like Anwar made the pivotal mistake -- making himself the nice guy at
the expense of his boss. The "nice" guy who successfully pushes his boss out
of the way is always deferential and gracious to the person he's elbowing.
>
>> >> >> <Rohan's one of Australia's Most Wanted>
><AUSTEO files>
<Rohan's National Enquirer exclusive>
>now, I've got to decide on cast, setting and plot. Take your passion
>and make it happen.
You're redo-ing Flashdance? Not the greatest of movies.
>
<Puking is either caused by porridge or Gillian Anderson hitting middle age>
>puking's not a problem with porridge - it practically bypasses the
>stomach. I did say 'at least,' not 'only.'
So 40 is acceptable? Glad to see you broadening your perspective.
<Roleplaying carnal relations between a wererat and an older vampire is okay>
And the vampire tootsie was a middle-aged Gillian Anderson wannabe?
>
<X-Files movie was a bust>
>
>wow, we got to see Mulder swear and piss in an alley. How much to see
>them carved up with chainsaws and trucked to Soylent Green Inc (trading
>as McDonalds according to the producers, who paint conspiracy theorists'
>legitimate concerns as entertainment)?
Just got my TV guide, and apparently Chris Carter is going the DL route and
resurrecting Well-Manicured man, even though he bought it in the movie.
>
<Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
Rohan as Dr. Evil. How cute. Does Simon get to play Mini-Me?
>But feel free to slap him for not
>making sure cinemas were flooded with marijuana smoke; it should be
>illegal to watch that film straight.
It should be fun to watch that one at Dragon Con next year. It's a great MST3K
gab fest type film.
>> >> >> ><Spike on viagra?>
>> >cats reincarnate as cats. I hope. I don't want to speculate on what I
>> >might have been.
>>
>> Wolf, I'd say. Howl for me to confirm it.
>
>at least there's a degree of nobility there. Would heavy breathing do?
For a start. How sharp are your incisors?
>
><why topknots?>
>> >> Keeps their long hair out of the beer mugs as well.
>> >
>> >two reasons. But they'd use twirly straws wouldn't they?
>>
>> Yes, but if they didn't tie it back they'd have to always wash the beer
>smell out. Beer may be good for hair, but it smells like nausea.
>
>kender probably experiment with 'novelty perfume.' In an event that
>didn't quite come out at the roleplaying table, Cassii the Cuddable
>Kender probably used a fart gas aerosol on those delicate jailbait
>underarms.
It'd be better to smell like beer, than fart, I'd say.
> I figure kender would use foamdomes; with properly sealed
>tops hair's no worry, although you're going to sweat a bit.
>
I'm sure the kender will do it once for the experience of it. But it will get
tiresome after a while to have to listen to them do Dragon Highlord Kojak
imitations.
<friends in customs>
>> You'd think you'd get better seating on the flights as a benefit, then.
>
>I'd need to get my passport back for that then, wouldn't I? National
>****ing Crime Authority razzerfrazzen...
You sound a little bit like Kinth here. So the passport is in someone else's
safe custody? I'd say Renton's safe for quite a long while then.
>
>> >> >now nice. Say "hi" to my Colt Python .357.
>> >>
>> >> Right after you've shaken hands with my sawed off shotgun.
>> >
>> >okay, I'm holding it and pointing it in a safe direction. Bye.
>>
>> Nice to see you resigned to your fate.
>
>you've got an interesting defn of 'safe.' Do you gamble much?
I actually did rather well this past weekend. I hit the 7's on a slot machine
and came back home $400 richer than I left, after deducting my expenses.
> In all the excitement getting into your house I lost my count...
Without your passport? A likely story.
>
>> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
>> ><what the cat saw>
>> Those weren't exactly Michelangelo etchings she found, either.
>
>so my prayer book is tattooed on humans sewn together on the right side.
>I can even get them to walk in step.
Sounds like an act in Cirque du Soleil. Do they all have your birthmark as
well?
>To hell with your boring old bible
I'm an oldfashioned woman, and like a book whose pages I can turn while reading
in bed.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Gilbert, feline Barney Gumble>
>> ><Spike, barber for hire>
>> >> >well, his food ordering technique involves herding and nipping
>> >>
>> >> Very familiar. I am sure there are some smacks with the paw thrown in
>for good measure.
>> >
>> >he can't reach my knees. He also guards steps.
>>
>> My cats go for ankles, and strategically position themselves at bed and
>sofa corners.
>
>we've 1984d him with Bunsen. And I wear jeans, and usually thick socks
>and/or boots.
My cats, unfortunately, don't seem to mind being dragged along as I walk.
>> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar>
><removalists and well-dressed cats>
>> >so therefore people who constantly maneuvre heavy objects are sadists?
>>
>> They are if they do things like bring TV sets precariously close to being
>> scratched on bannisters.
>
>didn't think you'd have the strength. Napoleon Complex?
Not to haul a TV set. I meant that someone who did that to my TV is asking for
pain. All it takes is leverage to knock someone down the stairs.
>
>> >> >> <Tarentino does Disney>
><Snow White: Deathmatch>
<The Evil Queen and Rohan: Two Beautiful people who don't want competition>
>
>that's not quite what I meant, my dear muse and canvas.
I know you didn't, pookie. But I like being contrary, even when I'm being
complimentary.
>
<Snow White is a royal brood mare>
>>You can't blame Snow for that -- it was the Queen who pulled her out of
>>school and had her do hard labor early.
>
>wasn't it one of those schools where they learn to walk around with
>books on their heads? Otherwise she probably wouldn't have learned
>anything practical - and she probably recoiled at 'female' tasks.
Snow would have had to pick up at least a second language and the skills to do
typical "first lady" type things, like running charities. Since being a happy
homemaker is in effect a career, she'd also need to learn the basics of that
other female task -- childrearing.
>Of course, the idea of that cutesy Disney damsel cleaning up after Happy
>and Grumpy play football with a potty :)
Heigh-Ho? or is it Heave-ho, after Snow gets a whiff of their sport?
>
>> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
>>
>> >either way is equally infuriating, especially if the subject didn't do
>> >anything to warrant the treatment.
>> If someone cares enough to hate you, at least you have the satisfaction of
>> knowing that any good thing that happens to you is a dagger in that
>> person's side. Hating someone who doesn't give a hoot has to be more
>> frustrating. It's like yelling at someone who doesn't yell back.
>
>true. What if you don't accomplish anything? Can you just waste the
>bastards then?
It's always better to get someone's goat than to get someone, especially if
they have to live your success on a daily basis. Wasting a bastard only gets
you in jail and you've already said that you are not interested in cultivating
a legion of male followers.
>
>> >> >> <Heart to Heart Chat>
>> ><you need two hearts for a collection>
>> >> >....oops, my mistake. I'm not a serial killer, honest.
>> >> No one really believes anymore that Spike's the one bringing in the dead
>> >> critters.
>> >why would I settle for possums and birds?
>> Because you can pass these off as science experiments and throw people off
>the scent.
>
>but I'm a straight humanities student. And I've been in the trade since
>before I went to uni anyway.
You can pass it off as your hobby, then, like butterfly collecting.
>
>> ><Altarielle's payoff: citizenship award>
>> >CVIVS TESTICVLOS HABES, HABEAS CARDIA ET CEREBELLVM - when you have their
undivided attention, you have their hearts and minds
>>
>> Since when is testicles a synonym for mind? It certainly would be an
>attention getter, I grant you that.
>
>you've got a dirty mind. That's the Latin translation iirc.
No I don't -- my mind's just healthily creative. Besides, relying on Spanish,
since I don't know Latin, if CARDIA is heart, and CEREBELLUM is mind, then
TESTICULOS is testicles. I would imagine a man would give me more than his
attention if I've got a hold of his testicles.
>
>> >> ><Caligula rocked>
>> ><Madonna's don't watch porn - there goes my Taxi Driver routine>
>> Caligula was a barrel of demented laughs, true. My favorite wacko Caligula
>> deed is the promotion of Incitatus to senator.
>
>that was his horse, wasn't it?
Yes.
>It wasn't bad when he declared his newborn daughter Julia to be male.
I don't know if this is Robert Graves' fiction or not, but there was a scene in
I, Claudius where Caligula dolled himself up and paraded himself as the goddess
Dawn in a play he'd written. John Hurt did such a hilarious job with that one.
>
<Another attempt to jump into bed with Altarielle>
>the urge to put things in your eyes while asleep... your sweet face, in
>the unsuspecting embrace of slumber...
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me. I'm a light sleeper, as you'd soon see.
>> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
<War Mages are accepted in ordinary society>
>> >of course, it's not exactly hard to control them. To begin with, how
>> >fast can they run and what do they know about hiding out?
>>
>> There's more to think about than that, though -- like "who will avenge the
>> wizard if we kill him", and "are there even more powerful wizards out
>there?"
>
>in a normal situation nobody. If the conclave steps in we're talking
>about Lost Battles.
I did manage to finish BiA, so the next example I'll point to is Horken. Even
though he's a brown robe, I can see most war mages being like him -- more
soldier like in appearance and thus easier to integrate into society. And if
Raistlin looked like Caramon, I'd wager he'd draw as much attention from women
as his brother.
>> >> >Beautiful stranger.
>> >> I'm flattered.
>> >you should be, oh JPEG goddess
>>
>> Blessed be, my son.
>
>I saw the stretchmarks, but not the plastic surgery.
That was a benediction, not an admission of maternity. We're not talking a
Crysania-Tandar age difference here. ;-)
>Who did it and do they do men's faces?
I'm happy to say that the only change I make to my appearance is to perm my
hair on occasion. I don't even like to wear jewelry.
>>
>> >> >> <A little prayer>
>> >> Yes, everyone can sympathize with the prototypical angry young man.
>> >I certainly can. One of my DMs just said that Drizzt has a sister who
>> >is a goddess of evil dragons
>> Cheese seems to be a popular snack food among TSR customers.
>
>pity then. DL and Birthright both put major effort into re-mystifying
>wizards. BR's been discontinued and DL's lost the conclave and the
>conditions that made mages rare and mysterious.
I'm hoping that Palin's academy gets fleshed out to be an acceptable
substitute. I still don't like the way the Fifth Age handles magic. Rabe
handled it like a fifth rate Eddings rip off. I found Belgarath and the
brotherhood acceptable because they've lived so long that sorcery based on
gathering your will and speaking the word is makes sense, given their long
years of experience. But you have to be able to write well and descriptively
to bring that kind of magic to life in the pages of a book.
>
>> >> >> >> ><airport ID>
>> ><command me!>
<putting Rohan under my spell>
>> >first you've gotta consider who invented the spell and their motives
>>
>> I have the blessing of the gods of gun control, so the counter spell should
>be a doozy.
>
>do you really want the blessings of Satan?
He's released you into my safe keeping until he comes to collect your soul.
>
>> >> >> >> ><seven dwarves with white beards>
>> ><Handsome prince is their bitch>
<Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
>> Danny DeVito is probably a big fan of yours.
>
>you can't choose your fans I guess. He's not exactly Mr People.
But he fits the belcher profile to a tee.
>Fame! I want to live forever.
Have you bought an Irene Cara CD?
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Maligned step-parents>
>> ><age of consent: the final frontier>
>> >> >well, I'm trying to get that lowered...
>> >> But in the meantime, it's best that you keep your pants raised.
>> >I shouldn't have eaten porridge, chips and roast vegies over the course
>> >of today then.
>> If this makes you particularly flatulent, you should take the opportunity
>to find a vice cop to beat up.
>
>handsome princes sound better. And flatulence isn't my main concern
It's been a week. Hopefully you're over the porridge now.
>
>> >> >> >> < Jerry Springer's mellowed>
>> >> >> ><will he kill himself?>
>> ><they elected WHO?>
<explanation of why Australians accept the same government regime year after
year>
>> That's why you're unhappy. What makes the "non-elites" unhappy but
>apathetic enough not to challenge the establishment?
>
>lack of organisation. That was actually what Pauline Hanson was really
>about - an ordinary Aussie honestly giving her opinions on a range of
>issues that the ruling elites had censored from the agenda. There are
>plenty of minor political parties out there, but because of apathy the
>most radical groups tend to gain undue prominence. During the 'gun
>debate' the media was more interested in a nutty Queenslander
>threatening to draw blood than the more moderate pro-gun groups.
>
>> ><wanna come over?>
>> >> >> I want my cocoa with marshmellows, please.
>> >> >okay. Baldrick!
>> >> Whatever happened to Jeeves?
>> >he saw what Baldrick used instead of non-dairy creamer
>>
>> I'll order takeout, thanks,
>
>even my great-grandfather was able to make tea, boil eggs and cook
>toast. Do you mean to say you can't boil water, add a couple of
>teaspoons and stir?
Of course I can, if I must. I would just like to do it in a kitchen where I
can be certain that no special ingredients will be added when I'm not looking.
>But I'll happily take you out. There are some lovely locations along the
Yarra.
You've got to return me, though. My mother would miss me eventually.
>
>> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
>> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
<KoS behavior is inconsistent, but Qualinost doesn't care>
>
>I think we can accurately trace all of this back to Hickman's plotting
>for DoSF. Couldn't he have just come up with something original?
It would have been better, IMO, if the KoS had gotten their act together and
were behaving as the second coming of the Kingpriest. That would have given
more grist to the idea of the KoT being given primacy over Krynn.
>
>> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
>> >> >> >she tried to undress him anyway?
>> >> >> She is blind, you know.
>> >> >well, we already knew he was a masochist. Did he really have to do
>> >> >that?
>> >> Don't know. It sounds like a guy thing to me.
>> >thanks for writing off a gender
>>
>> I'm not writing off a gender -- life would be very boring without men --
>but it would be wrong of me to claim to understand everything a man does.
>
>I'm not saying I do. I suppose now I'm going to find out the definition
>of 'men' who are worthy of continued existence includes more than a Y
>chromosome?
I won't go into the definition of a "worthy" man -- a girl's got to generate a
little bit of mystery -- but I can assure you it's not what you probably think
it is. But he does have to have more than a "Y" chromosome going for him.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
>> >realise that in afaik any comparable case the problem's solved soon
>> >after it arises? Apart from Emancipation (a Civil War stunt by the
>> >north, which didn't care about blacks either) I can't think of a case.
>> Warsaw Pact, which was supposed to stop the advance of Hitler? US entry
>into WWII?
>
>Warsaw Pact happened *in reaction* to NATO (one of my favorite Cold War
>moments is the yanks going apeshit over missiles in Cuba, when they'd
>been able to wipe out the eastern bloc for years).
It was a reaction, but it did nothing to stop either the immediate problem,
Hitler, or the fundamental issues with the Eastern Bloc countries, which are
still hiccuping conflicts today.
>But WW2 had the
>outcomes that they avoided the mistakes of Versailles (cool that Hitler
>got the French to surrender in the same train carriage as that stupid
>treaty) and became much more interventionistic on minority rights.
You think? What about Bosnia? Or the Kurds? Or the various factional
conflicts in Africa and Asia?
>That
>this led to a 'Jewish nation' being imposed on Arabs by the Great Powers
>is a ripple effect of course (I'm not a fan of Israel). Overall I'd say
>the underlying problems of WW2 were solved, and the dodgy policies were
>changed.
Not if you look at the allies. If you look at the US as the "Solamnics" in
this situation, the US began an economic decline after WWII, losing power to
the very nations it helped defeat in WWII. The nation had civil rights unrest
20 years after the end of WWII, so it did nothing to ameliorate the conditions
of minorities living in the US.
>> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
>> >and they would've hung around when they realised the rules simply did
>> >not make sense? Tanin and Sturm are important in this. They knew.
>>
>> They were told by a man they admired, Gunthar, that change was in the
>> wings, and the induction of Tanin and Sturm, two non-Solamnics,
>> symbolized that further changes were coming.
>
>Tika certainly would've taken a keen interest in what her sons were
>planning on doing. Bit of a Mrs Bates persona there. She would've
>refused to let them join an organisation incapable of doing laundry.
I just don't see Tika banging Gunthar with her skillet and making him change
the Measure. It's not as if Tanin and Sturm wanted to join the KoT. And
Gunthar was not preaching any of the divisionist nonsense that Crownguard did.
>
>> >> >> <Why should the knights listen to Laurana over Gunthar?>
<Gunthar's changes don't mean a thing until everyone who meets the ideological
requirements can join>
I believe that was Gunthar's intention -- look at the scene with UhOh in the
Rose and the Skull. It was the knighthood that was not yet ready to be so
enlightened.
>> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the failure of the
>> >treaty>
<Crownguard's demise gave old-timers a way to absolve the Measure of any blame
for the KoS' decline>
>but having put so much support behind him, they must've been discredited
>or at least weakened. Sturm's faction on the other hand is constantly
>pointing out how stupid some of the rules are.
That's why Gunthar has to compromise, so that he can get the support of the
neo-conservatives and the young liberals.
>
>> <The knighthood is comprised of undisciplined youngsters and conservative
>moderates>
>
>> >well, the problems shown there arose directly from TSR's failure to
>> >address the issue in a realistic manner. Even if they weren't
>> >interested (which I must add is an entirely different world) they would
>> >not have allowed Gunthar to do it alone.
>
>> True, but that's the way the thing was plotted, and it's the only in-world
>> explanation for the delay in revising the Measure.
>
>why don't they just say that to banish Takhy *again* after the war it
>was necessary to blow up a hitherto unknown fourth moon, made entirely
>out of crack?
You'd be violating your own continuity, since you've already stated that the
High Clerist's tower was a cocaine straw.
<Jailhouse Rock>
>> >let's just say there are some specific offences I'd rather not end up in
>> >jail for.
>> You mean the other seventeen besides the one you're discussing obscurely
>here?
>
>I'm not publicly planning a criminal offence. And the other seventeen
>aren't all what I'm worried about. Inmates tend to be pretty Old
>Testament in some respects...
And you'd be going in at such a tender age...
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
>> ><splaaaaaaash>
>> >> Dog saliva is just as effective on dried stains.
>> >
>> >nobody lets him upstairs
>>
>> Sounds like Bunsen should picket your room. Spike gets in, doesn't he?
>
>when I'm not looking. And Bunsen has to get up the stairs first. We've
>started putting suitcases at the bottom again.
That won't work when he reaches his first birthday and can leap like a thorough
bred.
<Rohan, author>
>> >then I'd have to learn how to write. I can certainly come up with
>> >angsty characters though. You should see Sword.
>> Is this the Sword of Betrayal you mentioned before?
>
>nah. The Sword of Betrayal is a Chaos War artifact. "Sword" is a
>professional assassin who changed sides. Having done almost every evil
>thing imaginable, he's now trying to redeem himself
Did he start out as an rpg character? And is this something I can read without
violating my Madonna code of ethics?
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
>> ><appointment in Tooradin>
<Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>> If I sent you socks, how could you be certain they were mine?
>
>generic term. Hosiery would do, or I could probably pocket one of your
>blouses. But my general criteria remain: pocketable, infused with your
>scent, and if possible constructed so I can pull it over Bunsen's muzzle
>(I don't want him eating it).
This could be fun. I could send you a pair of leotards from the Senior Citizen
fitness center and make your dreams come true.
>
>> >> >> <Camera work>
>> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
<Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>you're assuming I haven't promised her an alternate source
She's smart enough to play both sides against the middle.
>
<Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
>under such delightful moral circumstances...
You'll live happily ever after, just wait and see.
>
>> ><6' kitten for sale>
>> >> >you need to see me in person to know my capabilities
>> >> Are you sure about that? There are some DL completists out there who
>would just love to add an AFDL collectible like yourself to their collections.
>> >well, who would bid highest?
>> Depends. If Renton bids on a 6' kitten in order to do some sort of hideous
>> experiments to him, I'd be honor bound to save him because I'm such a cat
>fan.
>
>great, now I've got to figure out how to get WotC to play along
Send some of your previous posts about T$R. That should do it.
>
>> >> Although I do believe seeing you in person would be a rather interesting
>> >> experience. Renton could probably make some extra cash if they flew you
>in for Gen Con.
>> >it would beat hiding in a trawler I suppose, although on the other hand
>> >there's documentary proof I'm in-country.
>> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
>
>Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
>imagine me there
<closes eyes> Now what?
>
>> >> <Aussies in drag>
>> >> >> >I'll just frock up. If they're like me they'll assume I'm female.
>> >> >> My male legion has a marked preference for petite brunettes.
>> >> >Simon then.
>> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
>> >blackmail
>> Simon has the crocodile skinner. You seem to forget that.
>
>so, I've got a rubber knife of similar size. Carry one of those home on
>the train and you get somewhat apprehensive about being stopped by the
>law. Be less embarrassing to be busted with the real thing. And he's
>got a croc skinner, I've got *something else*
I am now incredibly curious about Simon, the "other" Tolstrup. You did say he
was the "normal" one?
>
>> >> >> You'll have to enlighten me.
>> >> >kiss me you fool
>> >> <smooch, on the right facial cheek> That's as much as the madonna code
>> >allows.
>> >excuse me while I contemplate a .38 Chief's Special snubnose revolver
>
>> I won't let you shoot on the first date, dear.
>
>for once it's not for you.
It's a good thing I didn't go for the lips, then.
>But can we get that 1st date out of the way already?
There's a little matter of two oceans and two continents that stand in the way
of that.
>
>> >> ><last supper>
>> >> >try to avoid the 'laxative effect' stuff
>> >> If you behave, I will.
>> >it's in everybody's interest
>> Depends on your point of view.
>
>nobody wants to leave a shitty corpse
Point taken. I'll settle for the pink rose between the teeth then.
>
>> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
>> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
>> >> I always knew I was a mental giant.
>> >you ARE taller than most dwarves
>> Damn prettier too. No beard.
>
>the key point of a Discworld dwarven courtship is to discreetly inquire
>about gender. But I think it gives character
I'm enough of a character without a beard.
>
>> >> >> >What about sewergator Russian
>> >> >> >Roulette? Something frightening about a midget woman in a dodgem
>car
>> >> >> Imagine what I'd do if I really could drive.
>> >> >steal cars, crash 'em and leave a steaming calling card.
>> >> Something like that. But madonnas aren't into theft. I'd have to leave
>> >that to Vee.
>
>getting back to this point, I note you're only delegating theft to Vee
I'm allowing her to exercise her hunting instincts. That's only natural, isn't
it?
>
>> <description of wonderfully intelligent, morally upright individual>
>
>> What a nice man he must be.
>
>will my game PLEASE arrive already? I've got a tightwad DM who keeps
>changing rules and making illogical decisions, and three other players
>who aren't especially into roleplaying. Strong tendencies to play elves
>just because of the abilities, and play 'em like humans.
What are you going to do? Start a splinter rpg?
>
>> I'm off to Phoenix tomorrow afternoon, so I most likely will not be posting
>> again until 9/7/99.
>
>unless you've got a time machine I doubt you can answer this on 9th July
>'99. mm/dd/yy doesn't really make sense the same as the 'in order of
>denomination' system.
Oh pooh. I keep forgetting that the British Empire marches to the beat of its
own drum.
>
> As always, I will be looking forward to another Tolstrup
>> opus upon my return.
>
>Is it so hard to satisfy your senses?
I demand only the best, Koalataur.
>
>> It has been fun, and will continue to be so upon my return.
>
>so, how many did you bag?
I figuratively destroyed three employees and two consultants. My boss sent me
down on demolition duty and the only thing I was not authorized to do was fire
outright.
> In those moments when you were all alone, did
>you think of me?
Believe it or not, yes. I think I may have even missed you.
And everytime my boss spoke to me on the phone and said something like "I'm
going to blast that place out of existence if they pull a stunt like that
again" created an eerie feeling of deja vu.
>At this rate, when you need me in the middle of the night I won't be
>there, 'cause you're always breaking my heart.
I would think two oceans, two continents, and a lack of a passport is a bigger
deterrent to your being there than a broken heart. And while I do hold your
heart in the palm of my hand and squeeze on occasion, I can't think of any
particular instance where I actually broke it and neither can you, I'd wager.
Would I still be responding to this thread if I had? ;-)
>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me. Grrr
<spin>.
Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
Altarielle
__________________________________________________________________
"I am Woman, hear me roar." -- Helen Reddy
"Speak softly and carry a big cudgel" -- St. Cuthbert
Tolstrup
> <Per RotBS, the gods have multiplanar responsibilities>
of 1st cataclysm boredom>
my vision was that, having been cut off from the wall current by the
kingpriests, the gods were running on batteries and just trying to live
- I wrote an essay on that once. See 'subordinates'
>
<why not appoint lieutenants?>
> Maybe that's how the Master of the Tower as a separate entity came about?
<divine paranoia, that's why>
I'm thinking in terms of those immortals who can do the job without
being too powerful, eg Archons, Baatezu etc.
> >> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
> <explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
<don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
oh, I'm assuming he was corrupt, but he is 20 years younger...
> >> >> >> <Rohan's one of Australia's Most Wanted>
> ><AUSTEO files>
> <Rohan's National Enquirer exclusive>
>
> >now, I've got to decide on cast, setting and plot. Take your passion
> >and make it happen.
>
> You're redo-ing Flashdance? Not the greatest of movies.
nice soundtrack. And I nearly killed a lot of people when the DJ
wouldn't just shut up and play it.
> >
> <Puking is either caused by porridge or Gillian Anderson hitting middle age>
> So 40 is acceptable? Glad to see you broadening your perspective.
at this point female and non-decaying sounds good. But I'd prefer
something closer to my age all the same.
>
> <Roleplaying carnal relations between a wererat and an older vampire is okay>
>
> And the vampire tootsie was a middle-aged Gillian Anderson wannabe?
about 22 to my character's 16. 'Normally' she was a model who posed
nude for art. Sean tried some lines, had halfarsed ideas about stalking
her, and she's one of two nonlycanthropic females he's talked to (should
have given me the 12yo I eccy'd out)
> >
> <X-Files movie was a bust>
> >
<thanks for taking us so seriously>
> Just got my TV guide, and apparently Chris Carter is going the DL route and
> resurrecting Well-Manicured man, even though he bought it in the movie.
MAD noted that he could've faked the bomb. If he's dead it was suicide.
> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
>
> Rohan as Dr. Evil. How cute. Does Simon get to play Mini-Me?
he's only a couple inches shorter
>
<shouldn't watch AP2 undrugged>
> It should be fun to watch that one at Dragon Con next year. It's a great MST3K
> gab fest type film.
<byo 12ga>
>
> >> >> >> ><Spike on viagra?>
<me a former wolf?>
> >at least there's a degree of nobility there. Would heavy breathing do?
>
> For a start. How sharp are your incisors?
shit that hurt. I'd say about human average
> >
> ><why topknots?>
<one reason to keep hair outta beer>
> >kender probably experiment with 'novelty perfume.' In an event that
> >didn't quite come out at the roleplaying table, Cassii the Cuddable
> >Kender probably used a fart gas aerosol on those delicate jailbait
> >underarms.
>
> It'd be better to smell like beer, than fart, I'd say.
but kender belong to the 'other worlds' philosophy school
>
> > I figure kender would use foamdomes; with properly sealed
> >tops hair's no worry, although you're going to sweat a bit.
> >
> I'm sure the kender will do it once for the experience of it. But it will get
> tiresome after a while to have to listen to them do Dragon Highlord Kojak
> imitations.
that's what guns are for
>
> <friends in customs>
>
> >> You'd think you'd get better seating on the flights as a benefit, then.
> >
> >I'd need to get my passport back for that then, wouldn't I? National
> >****ing Crime Authority razzerfrazzen...
>
> You sound a little bit like Kinth here. So the passport is in someone else's
> safe custody? I'd say Renton's safe for quite a long while then.
I've got other passports, but my legal identity has a lot of FF credit
<exchange of pleasantries and death threats>
> >you've got an interesting defn of 'safe.' Do you gamble much?
>
> I actually did rather well this past weekend. I hit the 7's on a slot machine
> and came back home $400 richer than I left, after deducting my expenses.
you need a distraction crew, a motorbike with box, and a twelve gauge
>
> > In all the excitement getting into your house I lost my count...
>
> Without your passport? A likely story.
see above. Nothing could keep us apart
> >
> >> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
> >> ><what the cat saw>
<The Living Bible>
> Sounds like an act in Cirque du Soleil. Do they all have your birthmark as
> well?
nah. Standard, off-the-rack humans
>
> >To hell with your boring old bible
>
> I'm an oldfashioned woman, and like a book whose pages I can turn while reading
> in bed.
I take my book to bed all the time
> >> >> >> >> ><Gilbert, feline Barney Gumble>
> >> ><Spike, barber for hire>
> >> My cats go for ankles, and strategically position themselves at bed and
> >sofa corners.
> >
> >we've 1984d him with Bunsen. And I wear jeans, and usually thick socks
> >and/or boots.
>
> My cats, unfortunately, don't seem to mind being dragged along as I walk.
equal fun pulling an unleashed Bunsen off something interesting
>
> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar>
> ><removalists and well-dressed cats>
> >didn't think you'd have the strength. Napoleon Complex?
>
> Not to haul a TV set. I meant that someone who did that to my TV is asking for
> pain. All it takes is leverage to knock someone down the stairs.
sledgehammer
> >
> >> >> >> <Tarentino does Disney>
> ><Snow White: Deathmatch>
> <The Evil Queen and Rohan: Two Beautiful people who don't want competition>
> >
> >that's not quite what I meant, my dear muse and canvas.
>
> I know you didn't, pookie. But I like being contrary, even when I'm being
> complimentary.
uh, okay...
> >
> <Snow White is a royal brood mare>
> Snow would have had to pick up at least a second language and the skills to do
> typical "first lady" type things, like running charities. Since being a happy
> homemaker is in effect a career, she'd also need to learn the basics of that
> other female task -- childrearing.
but she's a rich woman. Apart from looking good during the odd times
she isn't pregnant, she doesn't *do* anything. Even childrearing would
be a job for the exploited peasant wetnurse. Maybe she'd pick up a few
useful skills (Miss Cartman in B, L, U), but she's still an ornament.
She'd be a Di-like figurehead for any charity.
>
<SQUELCH>
> Heigh-Ho? or is it Heave-ho, after Snow gets a whiff of their sport?
then we find out she financed her beauty treatment as an abortionist?
> >> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
> >true. What if you don't accomplish anything? Can you just waste the
> >bastards then?
>
> It's always better to get someone's goat than to get someone, especially if
> they have to live your success on a daily basis.
not likely. And the goat didn't do anything.
> >> >> >> <Heart to Heart Chat>
> >> ><you need two hearts for a collection>
<biology excuse?>
> >but I'm a straight humanities student. And I've been in the trade since
> >before I went to uni anyway.
>
> You can pass it off as your hobby, then, like butterfly collecting.
heh heh heh. Butterflies
> >
> >> ><Altarielle's payoff: citizenship award>
<Latin et al>
> >you've got a dirty mind. That's the Latin translation iirc.
>
> No I don't -- my mind's just healthily creative. Besides, relying on Spanish,
> since I don't know Latin, if CARDIA is heart, and CEREBELLUM is mind, then
> TESTICULOS is testicles. I would imagine a man would give me more than his
> attention if I've got a hold of his testicles.
EEEEP! How big are your hands?
> >
> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
> >> ><Madonna's don't watch porn - there goes my Taxi Driver routine>
>
> >> Caligula was a barrel of demented laughs, true. My favorite wacko Caligula
> >> deed is the promotion of Incitatus to senator.
> >
> >that was his horse, wasn't it?
> Yes.
better than a lot of other politicians
>
> >It wasn't bad when he declared his newborn daughter Julia to be male.
> I don't know if this is Robert Graves' fiction or not, but there was a scene in
> I, Claudius where Caligula dolled himself up and paraded himself as the goddess
> Dawn in a play he'd written. John Hurt did such a hilarious job with that one.
in the flick that was where he got assassinated
> >
> <Another attempt to jump into bed with Altarielle>
>
> >the urge to put things in your eyes while asleep... your sweet face, in
> >the unsuspecting embrace of slumber...
>
> Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me. I'm a light sleeper, as you'd soon see.
cool. I'm a gun-totin' tourist, just off the boat, with a Colt in my
belt and a knife for up close.
>
> >> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
> <War Mages are accepted in ordinary society>
<Lost Battles over mage slavery?>
>
> I did manage to finish BiA, so the next example I'll point to is Horken. Even
> though he's a brown robe, I can see most war mages being like him -- more
> soldier like in appearance and thus easier to integrate into society. And if
> Raistlin looked like Caramon, I'd wager he'd draw as much attention from women
> as his brother.
Horken probably got in because he was so much like a soldier and the
baron was open-minded, I'd say. Still plenty of superstitious people.
> >> Blessed be, my son.
> >
> >I saw the stretchmarks, but not the plastic surgery.
> That was a benediction, not an admission of maternity. We're not talking a
> Crysania-Tandar age difference here. ;-)
so we're talking time machines here - which means that to avoid paradox
I've got to drop dead in the next twenty years...
>
> >Who did it and do they do men's faces?
> I'm happy to say that the only change I make to my appearance is to perm my
> hair on occasion. I don't even like to wear jewelry.
fair enough. I won't pretend to understand cosmetics and
self-mutilation
> >>
> >> >> >> <A little prayer>
> >> Cheese seems to be a popular snack food among TSR customers.
> >
> >pity then. DL and Birthright both put major effort into re-mystifying
> >wizards. BR's been discontinued and DL's lost the conclave and the
> >conditions that made mages rare and mysterious.
>
> I'm hoping that Palin's academy gets fleshed out to be an acceptable
> substitute. I still don't like the way the Fifth Age handles magic. Rabe
> handled it like a fifth rate Eddings rip off. I found Belgarath and the
> brotherhood acceptable because they've lived so long that sorcery based on
> gathering your will and speaking the word is makes sense, given their long
> years of experience. But you have to be able to write well and descriptively
> to bring that kind of magic to life in the pages of a book.
it's a workable system Eddings designed to avoid culties <shrug>. High
Sorcery at least fit DL quite well.
> >> >> >> >> ><airport ID>
> >> ><command me!>
> <putting Rohan under my spell>
> >> I have the blessing of the gods of gun control, so the counter spell should
> >be a doozy.
> >
> >do you really want the blessings of Satan?
> He's released you into my safe keeping until he comes to collect your soul.
that's what you think. Really he's using me as a tethered goat...
> >> >> >> >> ><seven dwarves with white beards>
> >> ><Handsome prince is their bitch>
> <Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
> >> Danny DeVito is probably a big fan of yours.
> >
> >you can't choose your fans I guess. He's not exactly Mr People.
> But he fits the belcher profile to a tee.
no he doesn't, he's a celebrity
> >Fame! I want to live forever.
>
> Have you bought an Irene Cara CD?
nah, I just heard it in a traffic jam, almost consecutively on two
different stations. I last bought a CD at least six months ago
> >> >> >> >> >> <Maligned step-parents>
> >> ><age of consent: the final frontier>
<should I have eaten that if I'm keeping my pants up?>
> >> If this makes you particularly flatulent, you should take the opportunity
> >to find a vice cop to beat up.
> >
> >handsome princes sound better. And flatulence isn't my main concern
>
> It's been a week. Hopefully you're over the porridge now.
yeah. Spaghetti for dinner last night tho.
> >> >> >> >> < Jerry Springer's mellowed>
> >> >> >> ><will he kill himself?>
> >> ><they elected WHO?>
> <explanation of why Australians accept the same government regime year after
> year>
<why no revolution?>
<Pauline, every worker's hero>
> >> ><wanna come over?>
> >> I'll order takeout, thanks,
> >
> >even my great-grandfather was able to make tea, boil eggs and cook
> >toast. Do you mean to say you can't boil water, add a couple of
> >teaspoons and stir?
> Of course I can, if I must. I would just like to do it in a kitchen where I
> can be certain that no special ingredients will be added when I'm not looking.
so you'd be willing to trust a commercial enterprise in NYC?
>
> >But I'll happily take you out. There are some lovely locations along the
> Yarra.
> You've got to return me, though. My mother would miss me eventually.
'you' can send postcards
> >> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
> >> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
> <KoS behavior is inconsistent, but Qualinost doesn't care>
> >
> >I think we can accurately trace all of this back to Hickman's plotting
> >for DoSF. Couldn't he have just come up with something original?
>
> It would have been better, IMO, if the KoS had gotten their act together and
> were behaving as the second coming of the Kingpriest. That would have given
> more grist to the idea of the KoT being given primacy over Krynn.
either way it's inconsistent with DoWN. This time Crysania would've
been delivering the dire warnings.
> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
<why the hell did he do THAT?>
> >> I'm not writing off a gender -- life would be very boring without men --
> >but it would be wrong of me to claim to understand everything a man does.
> >
> >I'm not saying I do. I suppose now I'm going to find out the definition
> >of 'men' who are worthy of continued existence includes more than a Y
> >chromosome?
>
> I won't go into the definition of a "worthy" man -- a girl's got to generate a
> little bit of mystery -- but I can assure you it's not what you probably think
> it is. But he does have to have more than a "Y" chromosome going for him.
excuse me while I try on this Primacord-trim Semtex overcoat
> >
> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
> >Warsaw Pact happened *in reaction* to NATO (one of my favorite Cold War
> >moments is the yanks going apeshit over missiles in Cuba, when they'd
> >been able to wipe out the eastern bloc for years).
>
> It was a reaction, but it did nothing to stop either the immediate problem,
> Hitler, or the fundamental issues with the Eastern Bloc countries, which are
> still hiccuping conflicts today.
Warsaw Pact started during the fifties. Yes, there have been ethnic
rivalries in eastern Europe since time began, and they've played in all
three major wars (1, 2, cold). However, on the world stage the UN was
set up etc.
>
> >But WW2 had the
> >outcomes that they avoided the mistakes of Versailles (cool that Hitler
> >got the French to surrender in the same train carriage as that stupid
> >treaty) and became much more interventionistic on minority rights.
>
> You think? What about Bosnia? Or the Kurds? Or the various factional
> conflicts in Africa and Asia?
more than they had been, anyway. Israel's a prime example, never
possible under the prewar League of Nations.
>
> >That
> >this led to a 'Jewish nation' being imposed on Arabs by the Great Powers
> >is a ripple effect of course (I'm not a fan of Israel). Overall I'd say
> >the underlying problems of WW2 were solved, and the dodgy policies were
> >changed.
>
> Not if you look at the allies. If you look at the US as the "Solamnics" in
> this situation, the US began an economic decline after WWII, losing power to
> the very nations it helped defeat in WWII. The nation had civil rights unrest
> 20 years after the end of WWII, so it did nothing to ameliorate the conditions
> of minorities living in the US.
okay, I was talking about the major issues the war was fought over. The
main problem the yanks had was winning the nuke race and moving around
all their troops. The racial problem wasn't really illustrated by the
war the same as the WotL made it obvious the measure (League of Nations)
was screwed up, and that their recruitment policies were a crock.
Unlike the ww2 yanks, the KoS mainly needed troop numbers.
>
> >> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
> >Tika certainly would've taken a keen interest in what her sons were
> >planning on doing. Bit of a Mrs Bates persona there. She would've
> >refused to let them join an organisation incapable of doing laundry.
>
> I just don't see Tika banging Gunthar with her skillet and making him change
> the Measure. It's not as if Tanin and Sturm wanted to join the KoT. And
> Gunthar was not preaching any of the divisionist nonsense that Crownguard did.
I imagine she would've screwed with their heads to the point that they
don't want to join an organisation whose rules they disagree with.
There have always been numerous alternatives to the KoS.
> >
> >> >> >> <Why should the knights listen to Laurana over Gunthar?>
> <Gunthar's changes don't mean a thing until everyone who meets the ideological
> requirements can join>
> I believe that was Gunthar's intention -- look at the scene with UhOh in the
> Rose and the Skull. It was the knighthood that was not yet ready to be so
> enlightened.
nobody takes aghar seriously. Let's be realistic here. Nobody accepts
aghar as intellectual equals, but elves, dwarves and minotaurs are much
more acceptable. We're still talking Kharas, Kaz and Laurana cases.
>
> >> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the failure of the
> >> >treaty>
> <Crownguard's demise gave old-timers a way to absolve the Measure of any blame
> for the KoS' decline>
>
> >but having put so much support behind him, they must've been discredited
> >or at least weakened. Sturm's faction on the other hand is constantly
> >pointing out how stupid some of the rules are.
>
> That's why Gunthar has to compromise, so that he can get the support of the
> neo-conservatives and the young liberals.
just pass out axes and throw an election party
> >
> >> <The knighthood is comprised of undisciplined youngsters and conservative
> >moderates>
> >why don't they just say that to banish Takhy *again* after the war it
> >was necessary to blow up a hitherto unknown fourth moon, made entirely
> >out of crack?
>
> You'd be violating your own continuity, since you've already stated that the
> High Clerist's tower was a cocaine straw.
or a divine toilet. And you have to get all that coke somewhere.
>
> <Jailhouse Rock>
>
> >> >let's just say there are some specific offences I'd rather not end up in
> >> >jail for.
> >> You mean the other seventeen besides the one you're discussing obscurely
> >here?
> >
> >I'm not publicly planning a criminal offence. And the other seventeen
> >aren't all what I'm worried about. Inmates tend to be pretty Old
> >Testament in some respects...
>
> And you'd be going in at such a tender age...
I'd make a shiv, but then I'd have to smuggle it in
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
<splaaaaaash>
> >> Sounds like Bunsen should picket your room. Spike gets in, doesn't he?
> >
> >when I'm not looking. And Bunsen has to get up the stairs first. We've
> >started putting suitcases at the bottom again.
>
> That won't work when he reaches his first birthday and can leap like a thorough
> bred.
he can high jump a metre?
>
> <Rohan, author>
> >> >then I'd have to learn how to write. I can certainly come up with
> >> >angsty characters though. You should see Sword.
> >> Is this the Sword of Betrayal you mentioned before?
> >
> >nah. The Sword of Betrayal is a Chaos War artifact. "Sword" is a
> >professional assassin who changed sides. Having done almost every evil
> >thing imaginable, he's now trying to redeem himself
>
> Did he start out as an rpg character? And is this something I can read without
> violating my Madonna code of ethics?
he's my Heroes Unlimited character. Scenario is Our Heroes comprise
Australia's 'superhero' organisation. So we've got a bunch of freakish
liabilities, and he's the only character with professional experience
(formerly a US Marine sniper). Apart from having a deathwish against
evil people (he considers himself evil so he knows the signs) he's stone
paranoid and only has one moderate confidante, his regular prostitute
(although their relationship is somewhat deeper than that, for example
he helped her get custody of her daughter)
> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>
> >> If I sent you socks, how could you be certain they were mine?
> >
> >generic term. Hosiery would do, or I could probably pocket one of your
> >blouses. But my general criteria remain: pocketable, infused with your
> >scent, and if possible constructed so I can pull it over Bunsen's muzzle
> >(I don't want him eating it).
>
> This could be fun. I could send you a pair of leotards from the Senior Citizen
> fitness center and make your dreams come true.
I thought I was the one with self-esteem problems. You and only you.
> >> >> >> <Camera work>
> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>
> >you're assuming I haven't promised her an alternate source
>
> She's smart enough to play both sides against the middle.
yes, but my shrimp's bigger
> >
> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
>
> >under such delightful moral circumstances...
>
> You'll live happily ever after, just wait and see.
lock and load
> >
> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
> >> >well, who would bid highest?
>
> >> Depends. If Renton bids on a 6' kitten in order to do some sort of hideous
> >> experiments to him, I'd be honor bound to save him because I'm such a cat
> >fan.
> >
> >great, now I've got to figure out how to get WotC to play along
>
> Send some of your previous posts about T$R. That should do it.
ah yes, we now know that in order to be noticed by them, one must tattoo
the message on the skin of a slaughtered design team, artfully draped
over the manager's desk at Pete's Loveshow.
> >> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
> >
> >Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
> >imagine me there
>
> <closes eyes> Now what?
you're not imagining hard enough
> >
> >> >> <Aussies in drag>
> >> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
> >> >blackmail
> >> Simon has the crocodile skinner. You seem to forget that.
> >
> >so, I've got a rubber knife of similar size. Carry one of those home on
> >the train and you get somewhat apprehensive about being stopped by the
> >law. Be less embarrassing to be busted with the real thing. And he's
> >got a croc skinner, I've got *something else*
>
> I am now incredibly curious about Simon, the "other" Tolstrup. You did say he
> was the "normal" one?
try 'variant psychosis.' He's relatively normal.
> >> >> >> You'll have to enlighten me.
> >> >> >kiss me you fool
> >> >> <smooch, on the right facial cheek> That's as much as the madonna code
> >> >allows.
> >> >excuse me while I contemplate a .38 Chief's Special snubnose revolver
> >
> >> I won't let you shoot on the first date, dear.
> >
> >for once it's not for you.
>
> It's a good thing I didn't go for the lips, then.
whuh? <spin>
>
> >But can we get that 1st date out of the way already?
>
> There's a little matter of two oceans and two continents that stand in the way
> of that.
can I interest you in one of these lovely Maritime Laptops (with
satellite uplink)?
> >
> >> >> ><last supper>
> >> >> >try to avoid the 'laxative effect' stuff
> >> >> If you behave, I will.
> >> >it's in everybody's interest
> >> Depends on your point of view.
> >
> >nobody wants to leave a shitty corpse
>
> Point taken. I'll settle for the pink rose between the teeth then.
what if no teeth are available?
> >
> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
> >> >> I always knew I was a mental giant.
> >> >you ARE taller than most dwarves
> >> Damn prettier too. No beard.
> >
> >the key point of a Discworld dwarven courtship is to discreetly inquire
> >about gender. But I think it gives character
>
> I'm enough of a character without a beard.
I think men and women would get along better if they shaved together
> >
> >> >> >> >What about sewergator Russian
> >> >> >> >Roulette? Something frightening about a midget woman in a dodgem
> >car
> >> >> >> Imagine what I'd do if I really could drive.
> >> >> >steal cars, crash 'em and leave a steaming calling card.
> >> >> Something like that. But madonnas aren't into theft. I'd have to leave
> >> >that to Vee.
> >
> >getting back to this point, I note you're only delegating theft to Vee
>
> I'm allowing her to exercise her hunting instincts. That's only natural, isn't
> it?
about Vee.... well, she chased a grey rat, who turned out to be my
Werewolf character...
> >
> >> <description of wonderfully intelligent, morally upright individual>
> >
> >> What a nice man he must be.
> >
> >will my game PLEASE arrive already? I've got a tightwad DM who keeps
> >changing rules and making illogical decisions, and three other players
> >who aren't especially into roleplaying. Strong tendencies to play elves
> >just because of the abilities, and play 'em like humans.
>
> What are you going to do? Start a splinter rpg?
when and if I can get some players. There's meant to be a shortage of
games at the club dammit.
> >
> >> I'm off to Phoenix tomorrow afternoon, so I most likely will not be posting
> >> again until 9/7/99.
> >
> >unless you've got a time machine I doubt you can answer this on 9th July
> >'99. mm/dd/yy doesn't really make sense the same as the 'in order of
> >denomination' system.
>
> Oh pooh. I keep forgetting that the British Empire marches to the beat of its
> own drum.
Australia has realistically been a republic for thirteen years. That's
also why I'm against spending billions to change the letterhead and
screw with the finely balanced constitution.
> >
> > As always, I will be looking forward to another Tolstrup
> >> opus upon my return.
> >
> >Is it so hard to satisfy your senses?
>
> I demand only the best, Koalataur.
I'll just get that NYPD uniform
>>so, how many did you bag?
>I figuratively destroyed three employees and two consultants. My boss >sent me
>down on demolition duty and the only thing I was not authorized to do >was fire
>outright.
Ros the Reaper? Altarielle's Inner Warmth? And here I was thinking you
were a good person. I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
retribution.
>> In those moments when you were all alone, did
>>you think of me?
>Believe it or not, yes. I think I may have even missed you.
nice to know I have that effect. Can't get by without my bountiful flow
of warmth?
>And everytime my boss spoke to me on the phone and said something like >"I'm
>going to blast that place out of existence if they pull a stunt like >that
>again" created an eerie feeling of deja vu.
oh, you must've met one of my clone warriors. We're going to take over
the world once we've got the legal crap figured out.
>>At this rate, when you need me in the middle of the night I won't be
>>there, 'cause you're always breaking my heart.
>I would think two oceans, two continents, and a lack of a passport is a >bigger
>deterrent to your being there than a broken heart. And while I do hold >your
>heart in the palm of my hand and squeeze on occasion, I can't think of >any
>particular instance where I actually broke it and neither can you, I'd >wager.
so you've suppressed my memory. In any event, see above RE passport,
and if necessary I can get a big-arse slingshot + parachute.
>Would I still be responding to this thread if I had? ;-)
there are words for women like you...
>>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me. Grrr
<spin>.
>Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
dammit! But both she and I know about Tuesday 17 November 1998...
oh, and if you see a man-sized rat walking around with a HK MP2000 and a
big, poison-drippin' dagger, wave.
Rohan "Dark Prince" Tolstrup
cross yourself now, get down on your knees and pray
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> <Per RotBS, the gods have multiplanar responsibilities>
><gods a la Belgariad, vigilant against outsiders, made other worlds out
>of 1st cataclysm boredom>
>
>my vision was that, having been cut off from the wall current by the
>kingpriests, the gods were running on batteries and just trying to live
Now that the idea of primordial sorcery has been established, it would be hard
to imagine the gods needing constant worship to survive.
><why not appoint lieutenants?>
>> Maybe that's how the Master of the Tower as a separate entity came about?
><divine paranoia, that's why>
>I'm thinking in terms of those immortals who can do the job without
>being too powerful, eg Archons, Baatezu etc.
Those are the same kind of guys that can be banished by powerful mortals like
Fist and Raistlin. It harms the reverence factor when mortals can exorcise your
seconds.
>
>> >> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
>> <explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
>
>oh, I'm assuming he was corrupt, but he is 20 years younger...
Young and uncorrupt don't impact the "nice" guy technique. It's the veneer of
nice that lets a player get close enough to backstab.
>
<Old enough to walk (with a cane)...>
>at this point female and non-decaying sounds good. But I'd prefer
>something closer to my age all the same.
Female and non-decaying? Is that why they won't let you into the Egyptology
section of the museum?
>>
>> <Roleplaying carnal relations between a wererat and an older vampire is
>okay>
>>
>> And the vampire tootsie was a middle-aged Gillian Anderson wannabe?
>
>about 22 to my character's 16.
Reverse jailbaiting? Isn't that a switch for you?
>> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
>>
>> Rohan as Dr. Evil. How cute. Does Simon get to play Mini-Me?
>
>he's only a couple inches shorter
Shave Bunsen then. He's still a pup, relatively speaking.
>>
><shouldn't watch AP2 undrugged>
<AP2 at DragonCon 2000 should be a hoot>
><byo 12ga>
Don't need to. By the third night, people were talking back to Daffy Duck in
the Duck Dodgers cartoon.
>>
><me a former wolf?>
>> For a start. How sharp are your incisors?
>
>shit that hurt. I'd say about human average
Can't tell for sure without a good howl then.
>> >
>> ><why topknots?>
><one reason to keep hair outta beer>
<Kender fart perfume>
>> It'd be better to smell like beer, than fart, I'd say.
>
>but kender belong to the 'other worlds' philosophy school
A fart still stinks no matter where you blow it.
>>
>> > I figure kender would use foamdomes; with properly sealed
>> >tops hair's no worry, although you're going to sweat a bit.
>> >
>> I'm sure the kender will do it once for the experience of it. But it will
>> get tiresome after a while to have to listen to them do Dragon Highlord
Kojak
>> imitations.
>
>that's what guns are for
To play cops and robbers with kender doing Kojak imitations?
>>
>> <friends in customs>
>>
>> >> You'd think you'd get better seating on the flights as a benefit, then.
>> >
>> >I'd need to get my passport back for that then, wouldn't I? National
>> >****ing Crime Authority razzerfrazzen...
>>
>> You sound a little bit like Kinth here. So the passport is in someone
>else's safe custody? I'd say Renton's safe for quite a long while then.
>
>I've got other passports, but my legal identity has a lot of FF credit
Still safe -- Mr. Tolstrup Sr.'s not going to let you out of Australia without
a good reason and Morten can't afford to send you, either.
>
><exchange of pleasantries and death threats>
<Altarielle did well on a gambling side trip to Las Vegas>
>
>you need a distraction crew, a motorbike with box, and a twelve gauge
No, this part was pleasure, not business, although I was travelling with a
rather distracting crew.
>>
>> > In all the excitement getting into your house I lost my count...
>>
>> Without your passport? A likely story.
>
>see above. Nothing could keep us apart
You've got to find me first.
>> >
>> >> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
>> >> ><what the cat saw>
><The Living Bible>
<Kinky page turners>
>> I'm an oldfashioned woman, and like a book whose pages I can turn while
>reading in bed.
>
>I take my book to bed all the time
If all six of you fit, it's not a bed, it's a trampoline.
>
<Kitty commandos>
>> My cats, unfortunately, don't seem to mind being dragged along as I walk.
>
>equal fun pulling an unleashed Bunsen off something interesting
There's at least a smidgen of a chance that Bunsen will actually sit when you
yell "Sit!"
>>
>> >> >> >> <Tarentino does Disney>
>> ><Snow White: Deathmatch>
>> >
>> <Snow White is a royal brood mare>
<Snow would have to learn how to be a trophy wife>
<Snow only needs to learn how to look good>
We don't know that Snow wouldn't be more politically astute. Look at Eleanor
of Aquitaine.
><SQUELCH>
>> Heigh-Ho? or is it Heave-ho, after Snow gets a whiff of their sport?
>
>then we find out she financed her beauty treatment as an abortionist?
Nope. I don't see the dwarves as being able to supply her with clients.
>> >> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
>> >true. What if you don't accomplish anything? Can you just waste the
>> >bastards then?
>>
>> It's always better to get someone's goat than to get someone, especially if
>> they have to live your success on a daily basis.
>
>not likely. And the goat didn't do anything.
If a person can't muster lasting success to irritate someone, then the person
should go for success in small permanent doses. What's a victory worth if it's
swiftly followed by punishment?
>> >> >> >> <Heart to Heart Chat>
>> >> ><you need two hearts for a collection>
><biology excuse?>
>> >but I'm a straight humanities student. And I've been in the trade since
>> >before I went to uni anyway.
>>
>> You can pass it off as your hobby, then, like butterfly collecting.
>
>heh heh heh. Butterflies
>> >
>> >> ><Altarielle's payoff: citizenship award>
><Latin et al>
>> >you've got a dirty mind. That's the Latin translation iirc.
<No she doesn't. She just happened to accurately translate the sentence>
>> TESTICULOS is testicles. I would imagine a man would give me more than his
>> attention if I've got a hold of his testicles.
>
>EEEEP! How big are your hands?
Big enough to do damage, especially since I have a pianist-like long fingers.
>> >
>> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
>> >> <Caligula wacko moment 1- he promotes his horse to Senator>
>
>better than a lot of other politicians
More fiscally sound, too. The horse can keep the treasury funded with
racetrack winnings.
<Caligula calls his daughter a boy, then does a drag show.>
>
>in the flick that was where he got assassinated
On the BBC production, it was during a Greek ballet.
>> >
>> <Another attempt to jump into bed with Altarielle>
>>
>> >the urge to put things in your eyes while asleep... your sweet face, in
>> >the unsuspecting embrace of slumber...
>>
>> Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me. I'm a light sleeper, as you'd soon see.
>
>cool. I'm a gun-totin' tourist, just off the boat, with a Colt in my
>belt and a knife for up close.
You took poetic license with that last verse.
>>
>> >> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
>> <War Mages are accepted in ordinary society>
><Lost Battles over mage slavery?>
>>
<Horken was probably typical of most war mages, living openly in society>
>
>Horken probably got in because he was so much like a soldier and the
>baron was open-minded, I'd say. Still plenty of superstitious people.
But it does seem that in the more prosperous places, wizards could move about
freely. Antimodes lived openly in Flotsam.
>
<Rohan as my son?>
>so we're talking time machines here - which means that to avoid paradox
>I've got to drop dead in the next twenty years...
Now you've really lost me. Unless, if Morten becomes your stepdad, I become
your step mom?
>>
>> >Who did it and do they do men's faces?
>> I'm happy to say that the only change I make to my appearance is to perm my
>> hair on occasion. I don't even like to wear jewelry.
>
>fair enough. I won't pretend to understand cosmetics and
>self-mutilation
I'll do powder and lipstick on rare occasions. To each his own, of course, but
I can't abide body piercings.
>> >> >> >> <A little prayer>
>> >> Cheese seems to be a popular snack food among TSR customers.
<Eddings writes Fifth age style sorcery better than Rabe>
>
>it's a workable system Eddings designed to avoid culties <shrug>. High
>Sorcery at least fit DL quite well.
Eddings spent 10 years working on the world of the Belgariad (you'd think he'd
give it a name) and it shows. I do believe that Fire and Forget is not really
realistic for all the reasons Weis and Perrin got into in BiA -- why shouldn't
a mage remember a spell he uses frequently?. But I like the idea of needing to
get all the words just right in order to cast a spell, and I agree that the
conclave structure worked, too.
>
>> <putting Rohan under my spell>
>> >> I have the blessing of the gods of gun control, so the counter spell
>should be a doozy.
>> >
>> >do you really want the blessings of Satan?
>> He's released you into my safe keeping until he comes to collect your soul.
>
>that's what you think. Really he's using me as a tethered goat...
Bestiality? So it wasn't your soul he was after?
>> <Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
>> >> Danny DeVito is probably a big fan of yours.
>> >
>> >you can't choose your fans I guess. He's not exactly Mr People.
>> But he fits the belcher profile to a tee.
>
>no he doesn't, he's a celebrity
And that excludes him from being a belcher? What is this, the KoS?
>
>> >Fame! I want to live forever.
>>
>> Have you bought an Irene Cara CD?
>
>nah, I just heard it in a traffic jam, almost consecutively on two
>different stations. I last bought a CD at least six months ago
Is there an 80s revival going on in Melbourne, then?
>> >> ><wanna come over?>
<Altarielle cooks only under duress>
>
>so you'd be willing to trust a commercial enterprise in NYC?
There are at least security cameras in some of those.
>>
>> >But I'll happily take you out. There are some lovely locations along the
>> Yarra.
>> You've got to return me, though. My mother would miss me eventually.
>
>'you' can send postcards
She knows my handwriting.
>> >> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
>> >> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
>> <KoS behavior is inconsistent, but Qualinost doesn't care>
>> >
>> >I think we can accurately trace all of this back to Hickman's plotting
>> >for DoSF. Couldn't he have just come up with something original?
<KoS as the second coming of the Kingpriest>
>
>either way it's inconsistent with DoWN. This time Crysania would've
>been delivering the dire warnings.
But Crysania would have been ignored, like Loralon. It took all her powers to
get the KoS to accept Dalamar as a temporary ally.
>
>> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
><why the hell did he do THAT?>
<A man's more than a "Y" chromosome>
>excuse me while I try on this Primacord-trim Semtex overcoat
You're excused, as long as you've got something on underneath.
>> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
<Like the Measure, The Warsaw Pact was not a quick fix solution.>
>
>Warsaw Pact started during the fifties. Yes, there have been ethnic
>rivalries in eastern Europe since time began, and they've played in all
>three major wars (1, 2, cold). However, on the world stage the UN was
>set up etc.
The UN is about as effective as the Council of Whitestone, so that is a good
example.
<Post WWII nations intervened more on behalf of minorities.>
>> You think? What about Bosnia? Or the Kurds? Or the various factional
>> conflicts in Africa and Asia?
>
>more than they had been, anyway. Israel's a prime example, never
>possible under the prewar League of Nations.
Agreed. Pre-Chaos War, the Solamnics would never have ceded any land to the
KoT. But that does not mean the KoS would rush to make their measure more all
encompassing, just because they embraced a reality of world politics.
>>
<Like the Solamnics, post WWII US did not apply world learnings to the
situation at home>
>okay, I was talking about the major issues the war was fought over. The
>main problem the yanks had was winning the nuke race and moving around
>all their troops. The racial problem wasn't really illustrated by the
>war the same as the WotL made it obvious the measure (League of Nations)
>was screwed up, and that their recruitment policies were a crock.
>Unlike the ww2 yanks, the KoS mainly needed troop numbers.
And like the WW2 yanks, the KoS were mainly interested in getting a weapon of
destruction to save themselves from the enemy - just substitute nukes for
dragonlances. The numbers they needed would come from the star struck kids who
wanted to be able to learn how to kill dragons.
>>
>> >> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
<Tika would not take a skillet to Gunthar>
>
>I imagine she would've screwed with their heads to the point that they
>don't want to join an organisation whose rules they disagree with.
>There have always been numerous alternatives to the KoS.
The LoS? Mad Baron Ivor, who's probably still fighting at 150 (joke). Tika
respected Gunthar enough to compare him favorably to Caramon in DQ -- she would
not have objected to her sons following him.
>> >
>> <Gunthar's changes don't mean a thing until everyone who meets the
>ideological requirements can join>
>> I believe that was Gunthar's intention -- look at the scene with UhOh in
>the Rose and the Skull. It was the knighthood that was not yet ready to be so
>> enlightened.
>
>nobody takes aghar seriously. Let's be realistic here. Nobody accepts
>aghar as intellectual equals, but elves, dwarves and minotaurs are much
>more acceptable. We're still talking Kharas, Kaz and Laurana cases.
Gunthar's naming of Uh-Oh was meant as an attention getter and it certainly
worked. Valian was an elven KoT and Liam was willing to bring him into the
KoS.
>>
>> >> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the failure of
>the treaty>
>> <Crownguard's demise gave old-timers a way to absolve the Measure of any
>blame ,for the KoS' decline>
>>
<Gunthar has to try and please everybody by compromising>
>just pass out axes and throw an election party
Axes are not honorable and jousts take too long.
>> >
>> >> <The knighthood is comprised of undisciplined youngsters and
>conservative
>> >moderates>
>> >why don't they just say that to banish Takhy *again* after the war it
>> >was necessary to blow up a hitherto unknown fourth moon, made entirely
>> >out of crack?
>>
>> You'd be violating your own continuity, since you've already stated that
>the
>> High Clerist's tower was a cocaine straw.
>
>or a divine toilet. And you have to get all that coke somewhere.
Divine urinal, you mean. Unless Mishakal has a Light Warrior form, that could
be cumbersome.
>>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
><splaaaaaash>
>> >> Sounds like Bunsen should picket your room. Spike gets in, doesn't he?
>> >
>> >when I'm not looking. And Bunsen has to get up the stairs first. We've
>> >started putting suitcases at the bottom again.
>>
>> That won't work when he reaches his first birthday and can leap like a
>thorough
>> bred.
>
>he can high jump a metre?
He can climb.
>>
>> <Rohan, author>
<explanation of Sword Character>
>>
>> Did he start out as an rpg character? And is this something I can read
>without
>> violating my Madonna code of ethics?
>
>he's my Heroes Unlimited character. Scenario is Our Heroes comprise
>Australia's 'superhero' organisation. So we've got a bunch of freakish
>liabilities, and he's the only character with professional experience
>(formerly a US Marine sniper). Apart from having a deathwish against
>evil people (he considers himself evil so he knows the signs) he's stone
>paranoid and only has one moderate confidante, his regular prostitute
>(although their relationship is somewhat deeper than that, for example
>he helped her get custody of her daughter)
That sounds rather interesting.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
>> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
>> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>>
>> >> If I sent you socks, how could you be certain they were mine?
>> >
>> >generic term. Hosiery would do, or I could probably pocket one of your
>> >blouses. But my general criteria remain: pocketable, infused with your
>> >scent, and if possible constructed so I can pull it over Bunsen's muzzle
>> >(I don't want him eating it).
>>
>> This could be fun. I could send you a pair of leotards from the Senior
>Citizen fitness center and make your dreams come true.
>
>I thought I was the one with self-esteem problems.
No, I'd just like to see the look on your face when you're surrounded by a pack
of 60 plus man hungry widows.
>You and only you.
How lovingly loyal.
>
>> >> >> >> <Camera work>
>> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
>> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>>
>> >you're assuming I haven't promised her an alternate source
>>
>> She's smart enough to play both sides against the middle.
>
>yes, but my shrimp's bigger
It's probably quite a prawn, I'd wager.
>> >
>> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
>>
>> >under such delightful moral circumstances...
>>
>> You'll live happily ever after, just wait and see.
>
>lock and load
If you shoot Gilean, you'll never be happy.
>> >
>> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
>> >> >well, who would bid highest?
>>
<Renton will bid if reminded of some choice T$R posts>
>
>ah yes, we now know that in order to be noticed by them, one must tattoo
>the message on the skin of a slaughtered design team, artfully draped
>over the manager's desk at Pete's Loveshow.
If Pete himself joins in the bidding, there is a slight chance that I can lose,
you know.
>
>> >> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
>> >
>> >Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
>> >imagine me there
>>
>> <closes eyes> Now what?
>
>you're not imagining hard enough
<laughs> That's what you think.
>> >
>> >> >> <Aussies in drag>
>> >> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
>> >> >blackmail
<Simon's the normal one>
>> >> >> >> You'll have to enlighten me.
>> >> >> >kiss me you fool
>> >> >> <smooch, on the right facial cheek> That's as much as the madonna
>code allows.
>> >> >excuse me while I contemplate a .38 Chief's Special snubnose revolver
>> >
>> >> I won't let you shoot on the first date, dear.
>> >
>> >for once it's not for you.
>>
>> It's a good thing I didn't go for the lips, then.
>
>whuh? <spin>
What an adorable little cutie pie.
>>
>> >But can we get that 1st date out of the way already?
>>
>> There's a little matter of two oceans and two continents that stand in the
>way of that.
>
>can I interest you in one of these lovely Maritime Laptops (with
>satellite uplink)?
If you explain why I'd want one.
>> >
>> >> >> ><last supper>
>> >> >> >try to avoid the 'laxative effect' stuff
>> >> >> If you behave, I will.
>> >> >it's in everybody's interest
>> >> Depends on your point of view.
>> >
>> >nobody wants to leave a shitty corpse
>>
>> Point taken. I'll settle for the pink rose between the teeth then.
>
>what if no teeth are available?
I'm talking your teeth dear.
>> >
>> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
>> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
>> >> >> I always knew I was a mental giant.
>> >> >you ARE taller than most dwarves
>> >> Damn prettier too. No beard.
>> >
>> >the key point of a Discworld dwarven courtship is to discreetly inquire
>> >about gender. But I think it gives character
>>
>> I'm enough of a character without a beard.
>
>I think men and women would get along better if they shaved together
I think shaving our legs together is allowable under the Madonna code.
<Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> >getting back to this point, I note you're only delegating theft to Vee
>>
>> I'm allowing her to exercise her hunting instincts. That's only natural,
>isn't it?
>
>about Vee.... well, she chased a grey rat, who turned out to be my
>Werewolf character...
So that was pieces of you I found in my yard? You certainly regenerate
quickly.
>> >
>> >> <description of wonderfully intelligent, morally upright individual>
>> >
>> >> What a nice man he must be.
>> >
>> >will my game PLEASE arrive already? I've got a tightwad DM who keeps
>> >changing rules and making illogical decisions, and three other players
>> >who aren't especially into roleplaying. Strong tendencies to play elves
>> >just because of the abilities, and play 'em like humans.
>>
>> What are you going to do? Start a splinter rpg?
>
>when and if I can get some players. There's meant to be a shortage of
>games at the club dammit.
And it's meant because?
>> >
<British time keeping>
>> Oh pooh. I keep forgetting that the British Empire marches to the beat of
>its
>> own drum.
>
>Australia has realistically been a republic for thirteen years. That's
>also why I'm against spending billions to change the letterhead and
>screw with the finely balanced constitution.
You've got spend a few bucks to change the names of the warships from HMS
though.
>> >
>> > As always, I will be looking forward to another Tolstrup
>> >> opus upon my return.
>> >
>> >Is it so hard to satisfy your senses?
>>
>> I demand only the best, Koalataur.
>
>I'll just get that NYPD uniform
>
>>>so, how many did you bag?
>>I figuratively destroyed three employees and two consultants. My boss >sent
>me
>>down on demolition duty and the only thing I was not authorized to do >was
>fire
>>outright.
>
>Ros the Reaper? Altarielle's Inner Warmth? And here I was thinking you
>were a good person.
I am ordinarily and I give people every opportunity -- my boss actually listens
to me when I recommend that she go easy on someone. We're talking some folks
who are trying to pull a major corporate political scam that would siphon off
nearly a million dollars from my boss' budget for very little productivity
gains.
> I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
>retribution.
Saliva isn't particularly painful.
>
>>> In those moments when you were all alone, did
>>>you think of me?
>
>>Believe it or not, yes. I think I may have even missed you.
>
>nice to know I have that effect. Can't get by without my bountiful flow
>of warmth?
Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me laugh on
occasion.
>
>>And everytime my boss spoke to me on the phone and said something like >"I'm
>>going to blast that place out of existence if they pull a stunt like >that
>>again" created an eerie feeling of deja vu.
>
>oh, you must've met one of my clone warriors. We're going to take over
>the world once we've got the legal crap figured out.
My boss is your clone? How'd you manage to add an extra "X" chromosome?
>
>>>At this rate, when you need me in the middle of the night I won't be
>>>there, 'cause you're always breaking my heart.
>
>>I would think two oceans, two continents, and a lack of a passport is a
>>bigger deterrent to your being there than a broken heart. And while I do
hold
>>your heart in the palm of my hand and squeeze on occasion, I can't think of
any
>>particular instance where I actually broke it and neither can you, I'd
>>wager.
>
>so you've suppressed my memory. In any event, see above RE passport,
>and if necessary I can get a big-arse slingshot + parachute.
So that means that you will be there in the middle of the night? -- remember
and be warned, I am a light sleeper.
>
>>Would I still be responding to this thread if I had? ;-)
>
>there are words for women like you...
and they're chanted by my male worshippers three times a day as they face NYC.
>
>>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me. Grrr
<spin>.
>>Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
>dammit! But both she and I know about Tuesday 17 November 1998...
That Cass is a clever one, isn't she?
>oh, and if you see a man-sized rat walking around with a HK MP2000 and a
>big, poison-drippin' dagger, wave.
I will, right after I point Vee in your direction.
Tolstrup
> ><gods a la Belgariad, vigilant against outsiders, made other worlds out
> >of 1st cataclysm boredom>
> Now that the idea of primordial sorcery has been established, it would be hard
> to imagine the gods needing constant worship to survive.
so now they're tossing a basic assumption without replacement?
>
> ><why not appoint lieutenants?>
> >> Maybe that's how the Master of the Tower as a separate entity came about?
> ><divine paranoia, that's why>
> >I'm thinking in terms of those immortals who can do the job without
> >being too powerful, eg Archons, Baatezu etc.
>
> Those are the same kind of guys that can be banished by powerful mortals like
> Fist and Raistlin. It harms the reverence factor when mortals can exorcise your
> seconds.
nobody but nobody is going to beat a Solar Aasimon (or one of the Lords
of the Nine). And it's not like the gods have untouchable reps.
> >> >> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
> >> <explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
> >
> >oh, I'm assuming he was corrupt, but he is 20 years younger...
>
> Young and uncorrupt don't impact the "nice" guy technique. It's the veneer of
> nice that lets a player get close enough to backstab.
he was presumably nice. After all, he was heir apparent until 'it
transpired' that he'd buggered his brother-in-law
> <Old enough to walk (with a cane)...>
>
> >at this point female and non-decaying sounds good. But I'd prefer
> >something closer to my age all the same.
>
> Female and non-decaying? Is that why they won't let you into the Egyptology
> section of the museum?
cryogenics is where it's at
> >>
> >> <Roleplaying carnal relations between a wererat and an older vampire is
> >okay>
> >>
> >> And the vampire tootsie was a middle-aged Gillian Anderson wannabe?
> >
> >about 22 to my character's 16.
>
> Reverse jailbaiting? Isn't that a switch for you?
it wasn't my idea. My earnest pickup attempt was on a 12yo girl in a
bar. I slipped her an Eccy, she spazzed out, I walked.
>
> >> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
> >>
> >> Rohan as Dr. Evil. How cute. Does Simon get to play Mini-Me?
> >
> >he's only a couple inches shorter
> Shave Bunsen then. He's still a pup, relatively speaking.
but that'd be cruelty to animals
> >>
> ><shouldn't watch AP2 undrugged>
> <AP2 at DragonCon 2000 should be a hoot>
> ><byo 12ga>
>
> Don't need to. By the third night, people were talking back to Daffy Duck in
> the Duck Dodgers cartoon.
lock AND load
> >>
> ><me a former wolf?>
> >> For a start. How sharp are your incisors?
> >
> >shit that hurt. I'd say about human average
>
> Can't tell for sure without a good howl then.
yo, bitch!
(DL Destroyer battle cry)
> >> ><why topknots?>
> ><one reason to keep hair outta beer>
> <Kender fart perfume>
> >> It'd be better to smell like beer, than fart, I'd say.
> >
> >but kender belong to the 'other worlds' philosophy school
>
> A fart still stinks no matter where you blow it.
we're going from a Western tradition
<kender playing Kojak>
> >that's what guns are for
>
> To play cops and robbers with kender doing Kojak imitations?
Dirty Harry
> >> <friends in customs>
> >I've got other passports, but my legal identity has a lot of FF credit
>
> Still safe -- Mr. Tolstrup Sr.'s not going to let you out of Australia without
> a good reason and Morten can't afford to send you, either.
I'd prefer to keep the notes out of circulation a while longer, and I'd
have to sell the gold at scrap prices, but I can get the dough.
> ><exchange of pleasantries and death threats>
> <Altarielle did well on a gambling side trip to Las Vegas>
> >
> >you need a distraction crew, a motorbike with box, and a twelve gauge
>
> No, this part was pleasure, not business, although I was travelling with a
> rather distracting crew.
you can get drunk and shoot in self defence because 'it was a 1-armed
bandit'!
> >> > In all the excitement getting into your house I lost my count...
> >>
> >> Without your passport? A likely story.
> >
> >see above. Nothing could keep us apart
>
> You've got to find me first.
<whistle> Bunsen!
> >> >
> >> >> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
> >> >> ><what the cat saw>
> ><The Living Bible>
> <Kinky page turners>
> >> I'm an oldfashioned woman, and like a book whose pages I can turn while
> >reading in bed.
> >
> >I take my book to bed all the time
>
> If all six of you fit, it's not a bed, it's a trampoline.
did I mention I'm a fairly large man?
(I did in Jean Rabe Faces The Press)
> >
> <Kitty commandos>
> >> My cats, unfortunately, don't seem to mind being dragged along as I walk.
> >
> >equal fun pulling an unleashed Bunsen off something interesting
>
> There's at least a smidgen of a chance that Bunsen will actually sit when you
> yell "Sit!"
tried that before reaching for the gun. That stash of identical
labrador puppies was a godsend.
> >> >> >> >> <Tarentino does Disney>
> >> ><Snow White: Deathmatch>
> >> >
> >> <Snow White is a royal brood mare>
> <Snow would have to learn how to be a trophy wife>
> <Snow only needs to learn how to look good>
> We don't know that Snow wouldn't be more politically astute. Look at Eleanor
> of Aquitaine.
wouldn't Snow have seduced a knight and gotten him to whack the Queen?
> ><SQUELCH>
> >> Heigh-Ho? or is it Heave-ho, after Snow gets a whiff of their sport?
> >
> >then we find out she financed her beauty treatment as an abortionist?
>
> Nope. I don't see the dwarves as being able to supply her with clients.
we find out the reason she was sentenced to death, pre-Spin Doctoring.
>
> >> >> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
> >> >true. What if you don't accomplish anything? Can you just waste the
> >> >bastards then?
> >>
> >> It's always better to get someone's goat than to get someone, especially if
> >> they have to live your success on a daily basis.
> >
> >not likely. And the goat didn't do anything.
>
> If a person can't muster lasting success to irritate someone, then the person
> should go for success in small permanent doses. What's a victory worth if it's
> swiftly followed by punishment?
hmm. Philosophy.
<reach for revolver>
>
> >> >> >> >> <Heart to Heart Chat>
> >> >> ><you need two hearts for a collection>
> ><biology excuse?>
> >> >> ><Altarielle's payoff: citizenship award>
> >> TESTICULOS is testicles. I would imagine a man would give me more than his
> >> attention if I've got a hold of his testicles.
> >
> >EEEEP! How big are your hands?
>
> Big enough to do damage, especially since I have a pianist-like long fingers.
no wonder Gilbert looks like Yoda. A 62" pianist?
> >> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
> >> >> <Caligula wacko moment 1- he promotes his horse to Senator>
> >
> >better than a lot of other politicians
>
> More fiscally sound, too. The horse can keep the treasury funded with
> racetrack winnings.
and the retirement plan is something Aussies would like. cf Mal
Colston, caught blatantly abusing his privileges (like a lot of other
pollies I'd say), who doesn't go to court until he's done as much damage
as possible.
> <Caligula calls his daughter a boy, then does a drag show.>
> >
> >in the flick that was where he got assassinated
>
> On the BBC production, it was during a Greek ballet.
either way, it was cool that they whacked the daughter as well :)
> >> <Another attempt to jump into bed with Altarielle>
> >>
> >> >the urge to put things in your eyes while asleep... your sweet face, in
> >> >the unsuspecting embrace of slumber...
> >>
> >> Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me. I'm a light sleeper, as you'd soon see.
> >
> >cool. I'm a gun-totin' tourist, just off the boat, with a Colt in my
> >belt and a knife for up close.
>
> You took poetic license with that last verse.
well, it was a haiku if you say it in Lucanesti...
> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
> >> <War Mages are accepted in ordinary society>
> ><Lost Battles over mage slavery?>
> >>
> <Horken was probably typical of most war mages, living openly in society>
> >
> >Horken probably got in because he was so much like a soldier and the
> >baron was open-minded, I'd say. Still plenty of superstitious people.
>
> But it does seem that in the more prosperous places, wizards could move about
> freely. Antimodes lived openly in Flotsam.
Flotsam's probably a might-makes-right city. If you're tough enough,
people respect you. Tolerance is based on common sense.
> >
> <Rohan as my son?>
> >so we're talking time machines here - which means that to avoid paradox
> >I've got to drop dead in the next twenty years...
>
> Now you've really lost me. Unless, if Morten becomes your stepdad, I become
> your step mom?
well, iirc you're about 30 now, and my understanding is that it's almost
medically impossible for a woman to reproduce over age fifty...
> >> >Who did it and do they do men's faces?
> >> I'm happy to say that the only change I make to my appearance is to perm my
> >> hair on occasion. I don't even like to wear jewelry.
> >
> >fair enough. I won't pretend to understand cosmetics and
> >self-mutilation
>
> I'll do powder and lipstick on rare occasions. To each his own, of course, but
> I can't abide body piercings.
owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I just found out that circumcision has
effectively been banned by the UN (court order required if <18 &
incapable of giving consent). Of course, although Australia signed the
treaty 'that doesn't mean you can reasonably expect it to be passed into
law.'
>
> >> >> >> >> <A little prayer>
> >> >> Cheese seems to be a popular snack food among TSR customers.
> <Eddings writes Fifth age style sorcery better than Rabe>
> >
> >it's a workable system Eddings designed to avoid culties <shrug>. High
> >Sorcery at least fit DL quite well.
>
> Eddings spent 10 years working on the world of the Belgariad (you'd think he'd
> give it a name) and it shows. I do believe that Fire and Forget is not really
> realistic for all the reasons Weis and Perrin got into in BiA -- why shouldn't
> a mage remember a spell he uses frequently?. But I like the idea of needing to
> get all the words just right in order to cast a spell, and I agree that the
> conclave structure worked, too.
the spell system simply needs clarification. Dragon suggested that a
spell takes a ridiculous time to actually cast, but that you can cast
most of it and trigger it by the standard casting procedure. It's
simply a terminology screwup.
> >
> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
> >> >> I have the blessing of the gods of gun control, so the counter spell
> >should be a doozy.
> >> >
> >> >do you really want the blessings of Satan?
> >> He's released you into my safe keeping until he comes to collect your soul.
> >
> >that's what you think. Really he's using me as a tethered goat...
>
> Bestiality? So it wasn't your soul he was after?
I'm bait, you're lunch.
>
> >> <Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
> >> >> Danny DeVito is probably a big fan of yours.
> >> >
> >> >you can't choose your fans I guess. He's not exactly Mr People.
> >> But he fits the belcher profile to a tee.
> >
> >no he doesn't, he's a celebrity
>
> And that excludes him from being a belcher? What is this, the KoS?
famous people are incapable of being normal
> >> >Fame! I want to live forever.
> >>
> >> Have you bought an Irene Cara CD?
> >
> >nah, I just heard it in a traffic jam, almost consecutively on two
> >different stations. I last bought a CD at least six months ago
>
> Is there an 80s revival going on in Melbourne, then?
nah, cloned DJs and non 9-5 days
>
> >> >> ><wanna come over?>
> <Altarielle cooks only under duress>
> >
> >so you'd be willing to trust a commercial enterprise in NYC?
>
> There are at least security cameras in some of those.
yes, I installed them. Technology, you've gotta love it.
> >> >But I'll happily take you out. There are some lovely locations along the
> >> Yarra.
> >> You've got to return me, though. My mother would miss me eventually.
> >
> >'you' can send postcards
>
> She knows my handwriting.
so will my computer after a few hours. You're not allergic to sodium
penthothal are you?
>
> >> >> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
> >> >> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
> >> <KoS behavior is inconsistent, but Qualinost doesn't care>
> <KoS as the second coming of the Kingpriest>
> >
> >either way it's inconsistent with DoWN. This time Crysania would've
> >been delivering the dire warnings.
>
> But Crysania would have been ignored, like Loralon. It took all her powers to
> get the KoS to accept Dalamar as a temporary ally.
wouldn't that be like the Jesuits telling the Pope to go jump?
> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
> ><why the hell did he do THAT?>
> <A man's more than a "Y" chromosome>
>
> >excuse me while I try on this Primacord-trim Semtex overcoat
>
> You're excused, as long as you've got something on underneath.
and if I didn't?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
> <Like the Measure, The Warsaw Pact was not a quick fix solution.>
> >
> >Warsaw Pact started during the fifties. Yes, there have been ethnic
> >rivalries in eastern Europe since time began, and they've played in all
> >three major wars (1, 2, cold). However, on the world stage the UN was
> >set up etc.
>
> The UN is about as effective as the Council of Whitestone, so that is a good
> example.
Whitestone doesn't have the inbuilt status quo mechanism that makes it
impossible to censure countries on the Security Council or their allies.
To get his war against the heathen babykillers, Bush had to forgive
China for Tianenmen Square. China may veto any action in E. Timor - and
the number of troops those bastards have there is about equal to the
entire Aussie army..
> <Post WWII nations intervened more on behalf of minorities.>
>
> >> You think? What about Bosnia? Or the Kurds? Or the various factional
> >> conflicts in Africa and Asia?
> >
> >more than they had been, anyway. Israel's a prime example, never
> >possible under the prewar League of Nations.
>
> Agreed. Pre-Chaos War, the Solamnics would never have ceded any land to the
> KoT. But that does not mean the KoS would rush to make their measure more all
> encompassing, just because they embraced a reality of world politics.
after the bungling of WW1, afaik *all* govts were turfed by a bitter
population. The failure of the Measure seems similarly
generation-defining, like the Vietnam Syndrome.
> >>
> <Like the Solamnics, post WWII US did not apply world learnings to the
> situation at home>
> And like the WW2 yanks, the KoS were mainly interested in getting a weapon of
> destruction to save themselves from the enemy - just substitute nukes for
> dragonlances. The numbers they needed would come from the star struck kids who
> wanted to be able to learn how to kill dragons.
presumably Sturm would've joined long ago if he'd been able to, and he
had a legendary pedigree. If somebody like *him* can't get in...
Suddenly they had to change this policy when it became clear that the
bad guys didn't have such stringent standards. I don't see much room
for elitism; we're talking at least an enormous 'auxiliary,' plenty of
them essentially being knights in status and function.
> >> >> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
> <Tika would not take a skillet to Gunthar>
> >
> >I imagine she would've screwed with their heads to the point that they
> >don't want to join an organisation whose rules they disagree with.
> >There have always been numerous alternatives to the KoS.
>
> The LoS? Mad Baron Ivor, who's probably still fighting at 150 (joke). Tika
> respected Gunthar enough to compare him favorably to Caramon in DQ -- she would
> not have objected to her sons following him.
the first thing is that Dragonlance is totally incapable of coherence.
DQ also featured the cheesiest premise I've ever seen after all. By
alternatives I mean the dozens of cavalier orders that have always
existed; Unsung Heroes featured a bloke who was the last of a rival
order that took a more 'living honour' approach.
> >> >
>
> >> <Gunthar's changes don't mean a thing until everyone who meets the
> >ideological requirements can join>
>
> >> I believe that was Gunthar's intention -- look at the scene with UhOh in
> >the Rose and the Skull. It was the knighthood that was not yet ready to be so
> >> enlightened.
> >
> >nobody takes aghar seriously. Let's be realistic here. Nobody accepts
> >aghar as intellectual equals, but elves, dwarves and minotaurs are much
> >more acceptable. We're still talking Kharas, Kaz and Laurana cases.
>
> Gunthar's naming of Uh-Oh was meant as an attention getter and it certainly
> worked. Valian was an elven KoT and Liam was willing to bring him into the
> KoS.
Valian was one of the cases where the line between the knighthoods is
blurred. Like Kharas and Kaz, he demonstrated that nonhumans can have
the knightly mindset. When aghar start understanding honour (and
developing sufficient intelligence to function) they can join. Kender,
gully dwarves and gnomes in the main are inappropriate.
> >> >> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the failure of
> >the treaty>
> >> <Crownguard's demise gave old-timers a way to absolve the Measure of any
> >blame ,for the KoS' decline>
> >>
> <Gunthar has to try and please everybody by compromising>
>
> >just pass out axes and throw an election party
>
> Axes are not honorable and jousts take too long.
trebuchets aren't honourable but they're also fun. Watch those
pavillions GO DOWN.
> >> >> <The knighthood is comprised of undisciplined youngsters and
> >conservative
> >> >moderates>
> >> >why don't they just say that to banish Takhy *again* after the war it
> >> >was necessary to blow up a hitherto unknown fourth moon, made entirely
> >> >out of crack?
> >>
> >> You'd be violating your own continuity, since you've already stated that
> >the
> >> High Clerist's tower was a cocaine straw.
> >
> >or a divine toilet. And you have to get all that coke somewhere.
>
> Divine urinal, you mean. Unless Mishakal has a Light Warrior form, that could
> be cumbersome.
it's a big long drop. It's even got a throne at the top
> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
> >> That won't work when he reaches his first birthday and can leap like a
> >thorough
> >> bred.
> >
> >he can high jump a metre?
>
> He can climb.
bit of an angle for him, even (shit) full size
> >>
> >> <Rohan, author>
> <explanation of Sword Character>
> >>
> >> Did he start out as an rpg character? And is this something I can read
> >without
> >> violating my Madonna code of ethics?
> >
> >he's my Heroes Unlimited character. Scenario is Our Heroes comprise
> >Australia's 'superhero' organisation. So we've got a bunch of freakish
> >liabilities, and he's the only character with professional experience
> >(formerly a US Marine sniper). Apart from having a deathwish against
> >evil people (he considers himself evil so he knows the signs) he's stone
> >paranoid and only has one moderate confidante, his regular prostitute
> >(although their relationship is somewhat deeper than that, for example
> >he helped her get custody of her daughter)
>
> That sounds rather interesting.
I aim to please. I got the session roleplaying award for a professional
killer who deliberately avoided killing and proclaimed his hatred of
bombs. As the game's set around real events, I figure he's
assassinating militia leaders in E. Timor.
> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
> >> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
> >>
> >> >> If I sent you socks, how could you be certain they were mine?
> >> >
> >> >generic term. Hosiery would do, or I could probably pocket one of your
> >> >blouses. But my general criteria remain: pocketable, infused with your
> >> >scent, and if possible constructed so I can pull it over Bunsen's muzzle
> >> >(I don't want him eating it).
> >>
> >> This could be fun. I could send you a pair of leotards from the Senior
> >Citizen fitness center and make your dreams come true.
> >
> >I thought I was the one with self-esteem problems.
> No, I'd just like to see the look on your face when you're surrounded by a pack
> of 60 plus man hungry widows.
I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
>
> >You and only you.
>
> How lovingly loyal.
I will follow you wherever you may go
> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
> >>
> >> >you're assuming I haven't promised her an alternate source
> >>
> >> She's smart enough to play both sides against the middle.
> >
> >yes, but my shrimp's bigger
>
> It's probably quite a prawn, I'd wager.
vergin' on lobster
> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
> >>
> >> >under such delightful moral circumstances...
> >>
> >> You'll live happily ever after, just wait and see.
> >
> >lock and load
>
> If you shoot Gilean, you'll never be happy.
okay, I'll just go postal at a train station
> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
> >> >> >well, who would bid highest?
> >>
> <Renton will bid if reminded of some choice T$R posts>
Renton, host to the '99 Darwin Award winner
> >
> >ah yes, we now know that in order to be noticed by them, one must tattoo
> >the message on the skin of a slaughtered design team, artfully draped
> >over the manager's desk at Pete's Loveshow.
>
> If Pete himself joins in the bidding, there is a slight chance that I can lose,
> you know.
I'd probably better not directly threaten a specific person...
> >
> >> >> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
> >> >
> >> >Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
> >> >imagine me there
> >>
> >> <closes eyes> Now what?
> >
> >you're not imagining hard enough
>
> <laughs> That's what you think.
what am I wearing then?
> >> >> >> <Aussies in drag>
> >> >> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
> >> >> >blackmail
> <Simon's the normal one>
>
<kiss me you fool>
> >> >> I won't let you shoot on the first date, dear.
> >> >
> >> >for once it's not for you.
> >>
> >> It's a good thing I didn't go for the lips, then.
> >
> >whuh? <spin>
>
> What an adorable little cutie pie.
times like this when you just need a good sharp wakizashi
> >> >But can we get that 1st date out of the way already?
> >>
> >> There's a little matter of two oceans and two continents that stand in the
> >way of that.
> >
> >can I interest you in one of these lovely Maritime Laptops (with
> >satellite uplink)?
>
> If you explain why I'd want one.
you can send an email from the Kill Van Kull (or whatever it is) and
pretend to be in Australia
> >> >> >> ><last supper>
> >> >> >> >try to avoid the 'laxative effect' stuff
> >> >> >> If you behave, I will.
> >> >> >it's in everybody's interest
> >> >> Depends on your point of view.
> >> >
> >> >nobody wants to leave a shitty corpse
> >>
> >> Point taken. I'll settle for the pink rose between the teeth then.
> >
> >what if no teeth are available?
>
> I'm talking your teeth dear.
maybe I shouldn't hint so much at my night activities then.
> >> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
> >> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
> >> I'm enough of a character without a beard.
> >
> >I think men and women would get along better if they shaved together
>
> I think shaving our legs together is allowable under the Madonna code.
I think I'll just inject human faeces into my eyeball. I was talking
more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves shaved...
>
> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >> >getting back to this point, I note you're only delegating theft to Vee
> >>
> >> I'm allowing her to exercise her hunting instincts. That's only natural,
> >isn't it?
> >
> >about Vee.... well, she chased a grey rat, who turned out to be my
> >Werewolf character...
>
> So that was pieces of you I found in my yard? You certainly regenerate
> quickly.
well, Sean had already roped in our friend Granak and he gave her an
ultimatum. He didn't tell me the response.
> >> >> <description of wonderfully intelligent, morally upright individual>
> >> What are you going to do? Start a splinter rpg?
> >
> >when and if I can get some players. There's meant to be a shortage of
> >games at the club dammit.
>
> And it's meant because?
logic died long ago, screaming.
> >> >
> <British time keeping>
>
> >> Oh pooh. I keep forgetting that the British Empire marches to the beat of
> >its
> >> own drum.
> >
> >Australia has realistically been a republic for thirteen years. That's
> >also why I'm against spending billions to change the letterhead and
> >screw with the finely balanced constitution.
>
> You've got spend a few bucks to change the names of the warships from HMS
> though.
nobody knows how it works. Nothing wrong with what we've got.
> >> > As always, I will be looking forward to another Tolstrup
> >> >> opus upon my return.
> >> >
> >> >Is it so hard to satisfy your senses?
> >>
> >> I demand only the best, Koalataur.
> >
> >I'll just get that NYPD uniform
> >
> >>>so, how many did you bag?
> >>I figuratively destroyed three employees and two consultants. My boss >sent
> >me
> >>down on demolition duty and the only thing I was not authorized to do >was
> >fire
> >>outright.
> >
> >Ros the Reaper? Altarielle's Inner Warmth? And here I was thinking you
> >were a good person.
>
> I am ordinarily and I give people every opportunity -- my boss actually listens
> to me when I recommend that she go easy on someone. We're talking some folks
> who are trying to pull a major corporate political scam that would siphon off
> nearly a million dollars from my boss' budget for very little productivity
> gains.
which 'Dilbert' character are you?
>
> > I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
> >retribution.
>
> Saliva isn't particularly painful.
tongue, fists, whip... varying defns.
> >
> >>> In those moments when you were all alone, did
> >>>you think of me?
> >
> >>Believe it or not, yes. I think I may have even missed you.
> >
> >nice to know I have that effect. Can't get by without my bountiful flow
> >of warmth?
>
> Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me laugh on
> occasion.
otherwise, pass the Prozac?
> >
> >>And everytime my boss spoke to me on the phone and said something like >"I'm
> >>going to blast that place out of existence if they pull a stunt like >that
> >>again" created an eerie feeling of deja vu.
> >
> >oh, you must've met one of my clone warriors. We're going to take over
> >the world once we've got the legal crap figured out.
>
> My boss is your clone? How'd you manage to add an extra "X" chromosome?
we've got more than a single set of genes, otherwise how the hell do we
have parties?
> >so you've suppressed my memory. In any event, see above RE passport,
> >and if necessary I can get a big-arse slingshot + parachute.
>
> So that means that you will be there in the middle of the night? -- remember
> and be warned, I am a light sleeper.
so I'll take along a pillow in my off-hand
> >there are words for women like you...
>
> and they're chanted by my male worshippers three times a day as they face NYC.
not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
> >
> >>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me. Grrr
> <spin>.
>
> >>Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
>
> >dammit! But both she and I know about Tuesday 17 November 1998...
>
> That Cass is a clever one, isn't she?
she still won't admit I've got a geostationary satellite over her house
and I've rigged the local fauna with a/v hookup. What do you expect
from a man who gives explicit 'cover your tracks by making it look like
rape' murder instructions?
>
> >oh, and if you see a man-sized rat walking around with a HK MP2000 and a
> >big, poison-drippin' dagger, wave.
>
> I will, right after I point Vee in your direction.
Sean snaps his whiskers and Vee obeys her basest impulse, probably
directed at the fish head he's just tail-batted at her. Or he stalks
her ethereally until he increases 'rank' whereby he suckers her into
entering the spirit realm, turns into an Itchy-style rat and makes her
bungee with her intestines for a rope. Oh, and the murder weapon you
woke up holding barehanded... they can prove beyond reasonable doubt you
did it. Sorry.
Rohan "rat in a cage" Tolstrup, liking the idea of travelling on a
separate plane (with no cops), taking 1/3 time and never becoming
exhausted.
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
<With primordial sorcery, gods may not need worship to survive>
>
>so now they're tossing a basic assumption without replacement?
How basic was the assumption? We've always had to assume the gods were
powerful enough to create their worshippers in the absence of worship.
>>
<Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and decrease
fear of the gods>
>nobody but nobody is going to beat a Solar Aasimon (or one of the Lords
>of the Nine). And it's not like the gods have untouchable reps.
Nobody was supposed to defeat Paladine and co. either. If someone like Fist
was ambitious enough to take on Tak, he would gladly go after relatively low
hanging fruit like a minion.
>
>> >> >> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
>> >> <explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
>> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
>he was presumably nice. After all, he was heir apparent until 'it
>transpired' that he'd buggered his brother-in-law
He wasn't good enough at it if the PM saw him coming. It sounds like the PM
was waiting for an excuse.
<21 year old male seeks chill old lady for companionship and possible romance>
>cryogenics is where it's at
Cold air does keep wrinkles crisp and linear.
>> >>
<RPG storylines that make FBI agents' ears perk up>
>>
>> >> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
<Simon's too tall to play Mini-Me>
>> Shave Bunsen then. He's still a pup, relatively speaking.
>
>but that'd be cruelty to animals
It doesn't seem to hurt Mr. Bigglesworth.
>> ><shouldn't watch AP2 undrugged>
>> <AP2 at DragonCon 2000 should be a hoot>
>> ><byo 12ga>
<People are preternaturally goofy at DragonCon>
>
>lock AND load
I don't think so, not with so many SCA knights about.
>> ><me a former wolf?>
>> >> For a start. How sharp are your incisors?
>> >
>> >shit that hurt. I'd say about human average
>>
>> Can't tell for sure without a good howl then.
>
>yo, bitch!
>(DL Destroyer battle cry)
Sounds more turkey than wolf to me.
>
>> >> ><why topknots?>
>> ><one reason to keep hair outta beer>
>> <Kender fart perfume>
<Beer smell wins over fart stink any day>
>we're going from a Western tradition
East or West a fart still stinks.
>
><kender playing Kojak>
>> >that's what guns are for
>>
>> To play cops and robbers with kender doing Kojak imitations?
>
>Dirty Harry
That'll make the kenders' day, as they borrow Dirty Harry blind.
>
>> >> <friends in customs>
<Rohan doesn't have a passport, and Dad's not footing the bill for a trip
outside Australia>
>I'd prefer to keep the notes out of circulation a while longer, and I'd
>have to sell the gold at scrap prices, but I can get the dough.
I think you'll have a hard time circulating notes that have "Monopoly" stamped
on them.
>
>> ><exchange of pleasantries and death threats>
>> <Altarielle did well on a gambling side trip to Las Vegas>
>you can get drunk and shoot in self defence because 'it was a 1-armed
>bandit'!
Nah. The slots were generous, and I had a good time watching my Canadian
colleagues attempt to conquer Las Vegas. Besides, one of us had to stay sober.
>> >> > In all the excitement getting into your house I lost my count...
>> >>
>> >> Without your passport? A likely story.
>> >
>> >see above. Nothing could keep us apart
>>
>> You've got to find me first.
>
><whistle> Bunsen!
Say goodbye, Bunsen.
>> >> >> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
>> >> >> ><what the cat saw>
>> ><The Living Bible>
>> <Kinky page turners>
>> >> I'm an oldfashioned woman, and like a book whose pages I can turn while
>> >reading in bed.
>> >
>> >I take my book to bed all the time
>>
>> If all six of you fit, it's not a bed, it's a trampoline.
>
>did I mention I'm a fairly large man?
>(I did in Jean Rabe Faces The Press)
So we're talking John Candy here?
>> >
>> <Kitty commandos>
>> There's at least a smidgen of a chance that Bunsen will actually sit when
>you yell "Sit!"
>
>tried that before reaching for the gun. That stash of identical
>labrador puppies was a godsend.
Good. It means no one will miss Bunsen.
>> <Snow would have to learn how to be a trophy wife>
>> <Snow only needs to learn how to look good>
>> We don't know that Snow wouldn't be more politically astute. Look at
>Eleanor of Aquitaine.
>
>wouldn't Snow have seduced a knight and gotten him to whack the Queen?
Eleanor certainly would have, and she'd have made sure no one was the wiser.
>
>> >> >> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
<Getting ahead is the best way of getting even>
>> If a person can't muster lasting success to irritate someone, then the
>person should go for success in small permanent doses. What's a victory
>> worth if it's swiftly followed by punishment?
>
>hmm. Philosophy.
><reach for revolver>
It's not there. The kender have it.
>>
<Latin et al>
>> >you've got a dirty mind. That's the Latin translation iirc.
<No she doesn't. She just happened to accurately translate the sentence>
>> >> TESTICULOS is testicles. I would imagine a man would give me more than
>his attention if I've got a hold of his testicles.
>> >
>> >EEEEP! How big are your hands?
>>
>> Big enough to do damage, especially since I have a pianist-like long
>fingers.
>
>no wonder Gilbert looks like Yoda. A 62" pianist?
No, I have bigger (like 6') fish to fry than Gilbert. And even little kids can
play the piano.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
>> >> >> <Caligula wacko moment 1- he promotes his horse to Senator>
>> >
>> >better than a lot of other politicians
>>
>> More fiscally sound, too. The horse can keep the treasury funded with
>> racetrack winnings.
>
>and the retirement plan is something Aussies would like. cf Mal
>Colston, caught blatantly abusing his privileges (like a lot of other
>pollies I'd say), who doesn't go to court until he's done as much damage
>as possible.
The retirement plan was pretty good in Incitatus' day too -- Claudius retired
him to a breeding farm.
>
>> <Caligula calls his daughter a boy, then does a drag show.>
>> >
>> >in the flick that was where he got assassinated
>>
>> On the BBC production, it was during a Greek ballet.
>
>either way, it was cool that they whacked the daughter as well :)
Graves wrote about Julia as a little monster who managed to bite and draw blood
before she was killed.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
>> >> <War Mages are accepted in ordinary society>
>> ><Lost Battles over mage slavery?>
>> >>
>> <Horken was probably typical of most war mages, living openly in society>
>> >
>> >Horken probably got in because he was so much like a soldier and the
>> >baron was open-minded, I'd say. Still plenty of superstitious people.
>>
>> But it does seem that in the more prosperous places, wizards could move
>about freely. Antimodes lived openly in Flotsam.
>
>Flotsam's probably a might-makes-right city. If you're tough enough,
>people respect you. Tolerance is based on common sense.
You're most likely right. But that also proves that powerful wizards could
have successfully integrated themselves into the major cities.
>> >
>> <Rohan as my son?>
>> >so we're talking time machines here - which means that to avoid paradox
>> >I've got to drop dead in the next twenty years...
>>
>> Now you've really lost me. Unless, if Morten becomes your stepdad, I
>become your step mom?
>
>well, iirc you're about 30 now, and my understanding is that it's almost
>medically impossible for a woman to reproduce over age fifty...
Still don't get it. I can conceive a kid tonight if I wanted to.
>
<Altarielle doesn't believe in plastic surgery or excessive decoration>
>> I'll do powder and lipstick on rare occasions. To each his own, of course,
>but I can't abide body piercings.
>
>owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I just found out that circumcision has
>effectively been banned by the UN (court order required if <18 &
>incapable of giving consent). Of course, although Australia signed the
>treaty 'that doesn't mean you can reasonably expect it to be passed into
>law.'
Circumcision is good for men, it helps prevent infections.
>>
>> <Eddings writes Fifth age style sorcery better than Rabe>
>> >
>> >it's a workable system Eddings designed to avoid culties <shrug>. High
>> >Sorcery at least fit DL quite well.
>>
<Fire and Forget has its pluses and minuses, but a wizard should not have to
"forget" spells he uses regularly>
>
>the spell system simply needs clarification. Dragon suggested that a
>spell takes a ridiculous time to actually cast, but that you can cast
>most of it and trigger it by the standard casting procedure. It's
>simply a terminology screwup.
Let's wait for D&D 3 then.
>> >
>> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
>> >> >> I have the blessing of the gods of gun control, so the counter spell
>> >should be a doozy.
>> >> >
>> >> >do you really want the blessings of Satan?
>> >> He's released you into my safe keeping until he comes to collect your
>soul.
>> >
>> >that's what you think. Really he's using me as a tethered goat...
>>
>> Bestiality? So it wasn't your soul he was after?
>
>I'm bait, you're lunch.
Nope. I'm the bounty hunter, you're the bounty.
>> >> <Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
<Danny DeVito would be perfect for this role>
<Rohan's being as exclusive as the KoS in regard to Danny>
>
>famous people are incapable of being normal
Of course they are. Look at Jimmy Stewart's life.
>> >> >> ><wanna come over?>
>> <Altarielle cooks only under duress and orders takeout when possible>
>> >
>> >so you'd be willing to trust a commercial enterprise in NYC?
>>
>> There are at least security cameras in some of those.
>
>yes, I installed them. Technology, you've gotta love it.
Yes I do. I especially love to modify technology.
>
>> >> >But I'll happily take you out. There are some lovely locations along
>the Yarra.
>> >> You've got to return me, though. My mother would miss me eventually.
>> >
>> >'you' can send postcards
>>
>> She knows my handwriting.
>
>so will my computer after a few hours. You're not allergic to sodium
>penthothal are you?
Immune is the word.
>>
>> >> >> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
>> >> >> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
>> >> <KoS behavior is inconsistent, but Qualinost doesn't care>
>> <KoS as the second coming of the Kingpriest>
>> >
>> >either way it's inconsistent with DoWN. This time Crysania would've
>> >been delivering the dire warnings.
>>
>> But Crysania would have been ignored, like Loralon. It took all her powers
>to get the KoS to accept Dalamar as a temporary ally.
>
>wouldn't that be like the Jesuits telling the Pope to go jump?
More like Martin Luther telling the Pope to go jump.
>
>> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
>> ><why the hell did he do THAT?>
>> <A man's more than a "Y" chromosome>
>>
>> >excuse me while I try on this Primacord-trim Semtex overcoat
>>
>> You're excused, as long as you've got something on underneath.
>
>and if I didn't?
You wouldn't be excused and you'd have to stand in the corner.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
>> <Like the Measure, The Warsaw Pact was not a quick fix solution.>
>> >
<The Warsaw Pact at least delivered the UN to the world stage>
>>
>> The UN is about as effective as the Council of Whitestone, so that is a
>good example.
>
<Whitestone isn't hampered with the Security Council like the UN is>
But the Council of Whitestone makes decisions only on issues that have a world
shattering impact. No one will call a meeting of the Council to return
Porthios to his throne, for example.
>
>> <Post WWII nations intervened more on behalf of minorities.>
>>
<Post WWII nations made a show of aiding only one minority then went about
their business.>
<The KoS became more politically aware after the Chaos War, but the Measure was
not considered open for other nations' interference>
>after the bungling of WW1, afaik *all* govts were turfed by a bitter
>population. The failure of the Measure seems similarly
>generation-defining, like the Vietnam Syndrome.
Actually, the Vietnam War is a good analogy. The US underwent a general
malaise, there was widespread derision of anyone who served in the war, and
absolutely nothing changed as far as US regulations were concerned. Similarly,
there was a depression following the Chaos War, but it did not lead right away
to the reformation of the Measure.
>
>> >>
>> <Like the Solamnics, post WWII US did not apply world learnings to the
>> situation at home>
<In WWII, the US wanted the bomb. In the WotL, the KoS wanted the Dragonlance>
>
>presumably Sturm would've joined long ago if he'd been able to, and he
>had a legendary pedigree. If somebody like *him* can't get in...
IIRC, Sturm didn't stay because he was disillusioned with what the Knighthood
had become. No one questioned that his family was an old and honorable Solamnic
line.
>Suddenly they had to change this policy when it became clear that the
>bad guys didn't have such stringent standards. I don't see much room
>for elitism; we're talking at least an enormous 'auxiliary,' plenty of
>them essentially being knights in status and function.
The KoS that were coming in after rules were relaxed were undisciplined and had
no respect for tradition. You're always going to have those knights like Liam,
who are angry that the new recruits are not all Sturm wannabes and who believe
that the Measure provides order amidst the chaos. After Gunthar's aborted
attempt to join with the KoT, you'll have some wariness about admitting
Minotaurs. As for the rest, women are in already, and dwarves and elves just
aren't all that interested.
>> >> >> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
>> <Tika would not take a skillet to Gunthar>
>> >
<Tika would have lectured Tanin and Sturm on the problems with the Measure>
<Per DQ, Tika had a high opinion of Gunthar>
>
<There must have been other orders out there besides the LoS and KoS for Tanin
and Sturm to join>
Tika was in a panic that Palin was going off to the world on his own -- she's
not going to send Tanin and Sturm off to sign on with strangers. Tika
respected Gunthar and Sara enough to compare the former to her husband and to
extend hospitality to the latter. Since Steel would not have been someone Tika
considered a role model, it makes perfect sense that she would talk up Gunthar.
>> >> <Gunthar's changes don't mean a thing until everyone who meets the
>> >ideological requirements can join>
>>
<Gunthar was slowly working to expand the membership in the KoS beyond women
and non-Solamnics but the knights were conservative>
>
>Valian was one of the cases where the line between the knighthoods is
>blurred. Like Kharas and Kaz, he demonstrated that nonhumans can have
>the knightly mindset. When aghar start understanding honour (and
>developing sufficient intelligence to function) they can join. Kender,
>gully dwarves and gnomes in the main are inappropriate.
Agreed. And Liam would have let him join if Valian wanted to. So the KoS is
changing exactly as Gunthar intended.
>
>> >> >> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the failure
>of the treaty>
>> >> <Crownguard's demise gave old-timers a way to absolve the Measure of any
>> >blame ,for the KoS' decline>
>> >>
>> <Gunthar has to try and please everybody by compromising>
>>
>> >just pass out axes and throw an election party
>>
>> Axes are not honorable and jousts take too long.
>
>trebuchets aren't honourable but they're also fun. Watch those
>pavillions GO DOWN.
Gunthar will win. He killed a boar all by himself, remember?
>> >> >> <The knighthood is comprised of undisciplined youngsters and
>> >conservative moderates>
<Tolstrup continuity violations>
>> >> You'd be violating your own continuity, since you've already stated that
>> >the High Clerist's tower was a cocaine straw.
>> >
>> >or a divine toilet. And you have to get all that coke somewhere.
>>
>> Divine urinal, you mean. Unless Mishakal has a Light Warrior form, that
>could be cumbersome.
>
>it's a big long drop. It's even got a throne at the top
Women want privacy -- that little anatomical difference dictates that our
business gets done 100% in stalls.
>> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
>> >> That won't work when he reaches his first birthday and can leap like a
>> >thorough bred.
>> >
>> >he can high jump a metre?
>>
>> He can climb.
>
>bit of an angle for him, even (shit) full size
I have faith in him.
>> >>
>> >> <Rohan, author>
>> <explanation of Sword Character>
>> >>
<explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
>> That sounds rather interesting.
>
>I aim to please. I got the session roleplaying award for a professional
>killer who deliberately avoided killing and proclaimed his hatred of
>bombs. As the game's set around real events, I figure he's
>assassinating militia leaders in E. Timor.
Congrats. How does the E. Timor situation look across the waters there in
Australia? The biggest scare here is encephalitus, with the latest confirmed
death being too close for comfort.
>> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
>> >> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
>> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>> >>
>> >> >> If I sent you socks, how could you be certain they were mine?
>> >> >
>> >> >generic term. Hosiery would do, or I could probably pocket one of your
>> >> >blouses. But my general criteria remain: pocketable, infused with your
>> >> >scent, and if possible constructed so I can pull it over Bunsen's
>muzzle (I don't want him eating it).
>> >>
>> >> This could be fun. I could send you a pair of leotards from the Senior
>> >Citizen fitness center and make your dreams come true.
>> >
>> >I thought I was the one with self-esteem problems.
>> No, I'd just like to see the look on your face when you're surrounded by a
>pack of 60 plus man hungry widows.
>
>I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
Collars have a habit of falling off. Here Bunsen, here pup....
>>
>> >You and only you.
>>
>> How lovingly loyal.
>
>I will follow you wherever you may go
There isn't an ocean to deep to keep you away?
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
>> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
>> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>> >>
>> >> >you're assuming I haven't promised her an alternate source
>> >>
>> >> She's smart enough to play both sides against the middle.
>> >
>> >yes, but my shrimp's bigger
>>
>> It's probably quite a prawn, I'd wager.
>
>vergin' on lobster
I'll be sure to give her a shell cracker.
>
>> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
>> >>
>> >> >under such delightful moral circumstances...
>> >>
>> >> You'll live happily ever after, just wait and see.
>> >
>> >lock and load
>>
>> If you shoot Gilean, you'll never be happy.
>
>okay, I'll just go postal at a train station
You'd better hope Gilean is not the god of choo-choos.
>
>> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
>> >> >> >well, who would bid highest?
>> >>
>> <Renton will bid if reminded of some choice T$R posts>
>
>Renton, host to the '99 Darwin Award winner
>> >
>> >ah yes, we now know that in order to be noticed by them, one must tattoo
>> >the message on the skin of a slaughtered design team, artfully draped
>> >over the manager's desk at Pete's Loveshow.
>>
>> If Pete himself joins in the bidding, there is a slight chance that I can
>lose, you know.
>
>I'd probably better not directly threaten a specific person...
This is the kind of thing where I can see the hat being passed around WotC, per
an alphabetized list.
>> >
>> >> >> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
>> >> >
>> >> >Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
>> >> >imagine me there
>> >>
>> >> <closes eyes> Now what?
>> >
>> >you're not imagining hard enough
>>
>> <laughs> That's what you think.
>
>what am I wearing then?
An apprehensive grin.
>
>> >> >> >> <Aussies in drag>
>> >> >> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
>> >> >> >blackmail
>> <Simon's the normal one>
>>
><kiss me you fool>
>> >> >> I won't let you shoot on the first date, dear.
>> >> >
>> >> >for once it's not for you.
>> >>
>> >> It's a good thing I didn't go for the lips, then.
>> >
>> >whuh? <spin>
>>
>> What an adorable little cutie pie.
>
>times like this when you just need a good sharp wakizashi
Still won't move things beyond the facial cheek, poopsie, especially since that
alone elicits gunfire.
>
>> >> >But can we get that 1st date out of the way already?
>> >>
>> >> There's a little matter of two oceans and two continents that stand in
>the way of that.
>> >
>> >can I interest you in one of these lovely Maritime Laptops (with
>> >satellite uplink)?
>>
>> If you explain why I'd want one.
>
>you can send an email from the Kill Van Kull (or whatever it is) and
>pretend to be in Australia
Sounds too much like a PBEM to me. And I did the Palace Chat with Tracy and it
seemed to move too slow.
>
>> >> >> >> ><last supper>
>> >> >> >> >try to avoid the 'laxative effect' stuff
>> >> >> >> If you behave, I will.
>> >> >> >it's in everybody's interest
>> >> >> Depends on your point of view.
>> >> >
>> >> >nobody wants to leave a shitty corpse
>> >>
>> >> Point taken. I'll settle for the pink rose between the teeth then.
>> >
>> >what if no teeth are available?
>>
>> I'm talking your teeth dear.
>
>maybe I shouldn't hint so much at my night activities then.
The incisors should hold the rose just so.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
>> >> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
>> >> I'm enough of a character without a beard.
>> >
>> >I think men and women would get along better if they shaved together
>>
>> I think shaving our legs together is allowable under the Madonna code.
>
>I think I'll just inject human faeces into my eyeball.
Are you looking for a deeper shade of brown? Contact lenses would be easier.
> I was talking more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves shaved...
So shaving with a dwarf is your idea of a good time? You do have rather, ahem,
exotic tastes.
>>
>> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> >> >getting back to this point, I note you're only delegating theft to Vee
>> >>
>> >> I'm allowing her to exercise her hunting instincts. That's only
>natural, isn't it?
>> >
>> >about Vee.... well, she chased a grey rat, who turned out to be my
>> >Werewolf character...
>>
>> So that was pieces of you I found in my yard? You certainly regenerate
>> quickly.
>
>well, Sean had already roped in our friend Granak and he gave her an
>ultimatum. He didn't tell me the response.
Her? Granak is a woman?
>
>> <British time keeping>
>>
>> >> Oh pooh. I keep forgetting that the British Empire marches to the beat
>of its own drum.
>> >
>> >Australia has realistically been a republic for thirteen years. That's
>> >also why I'm against spending billions to change the letterhead and
>> >screw with the finely balanced constitution.
>>
>> You've got spend a few bucks to change the names of the warships from HMS
>> though.
>
>nobody knows how it works. Nothing wrong with what we've got.
So it'd be okay if someone at war with Great Britian torpedoed Aussie subs that
had HMS splattered across them?
>
>> >> > As always, I will be looking forward to another Tolstrup
>> >> >> opus upon my return.
>> >> >
>> >> >Is it so hard to satisfy your senses?
>> >>
>> >> I demand only the best, Koalataur.
>> >
>> >I'll just get that NYPD uniform
The traditional blue is much better than regional colors.
>> >
>> >>>so, how many did you bag?
<Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
>> >
<Altarielle's good, just harsh with extravagant rule breakers>
>>
>which 'Dilbert' character are you?
My guess is Dogbert.
>>
>> > I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
>> >retribution.
>>
>> Saliva isn't particularly painful.
>
>tongue, fists, whip... varying defns.
<laughs> It looks like I'll have to teach you the correct one.
>> >
>> >>> In those moments when you were all alone, did
>> >>>you think of me?
>> >
>> >>Believe it or not, yes. I think I may have even missed you.
>> >
>> >nice to know I have that effect. Can't get by without my bountiful flow
>> >of warmth?
>>
>> Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me laugh on
>> occasion.
>
>otherwise, pass the Prozac?
As someone recently pointed out to me," just what could you and Tolstrup
possibly talk about that can take 800 lines?"
>> >
>> >>And everytime my boss spoke to me on the phone and said something like
>>"I'm
>> >>going to blast that place out of existence if they pull a stunt like
>>that
>> >>again" created an eerie feeling of deja vu.
>> >
>> >oh, you must've met one of my clone warriors. We're going to take over
>> >the world once we've got the legal crap figured out.
>>
>> My boss is your clone? How'd you manage to add an extra "X" chromosome?
>
>we've got more than a single set of genes, otherwise how the hell do we
>have parties?
It's nice to know that you are in touch with your feminine side.
>
>> >so you've suppressed my memory. In any event, see above RE passport,
>> >and if necessary I can get a big-arse slingshot + parachute.
>>
>> So that means that you will be there in the middle of the night? --
>remember
>> and be warned, I am a light sleeper.
>
>so I'll take along a pillow in my off-hand
Good, that gives me a clear shot
>> >there are words for women like you...
>>
>> and they're chanted by my male worshippers three times a day as they face
>NYC.
>
>not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
No, the goddess of domination.
>> >
>> >>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me. Grrr
>> <spin>.
>>
>> >>Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
>>
>> >dammit! But both she and I know about Tuesday 17 November 1998...
>>
>> That Cass is a clever one, isn't she?
>
>she still won't admit I've got a geostationary satellite over her house
>and I've rigged the local fauna with a/v hookup. What do you expect
>from a man who gives explicit 'cover your tracks by making it look like
>rape' murder instructions?
I think the lack of passport, two continents, and two oceans is just as
effective a deterrent to access Canada as it is to access the Northeastern US.
> >>oh, and if you see a man-sized rat walking around with a HK MP2000 and a
> >>big, poison-drippin' dagger, wave.
>
>> I will, right after I point Vee in your direction.
<Wistful description of unlikely possiblility of Vee being suckered by a
Wererat>
It would have worked, if Vee weren't a descendant of Guenhwyvar, and if my
worshippers aren't instructed to shadow the sacred cat at all times.
Tolstrup
I assumed the standard AD&D god rule held - gods require devotional
energy to live. Logically they can store up energy like a laptop;
creating the world was turning on the current, and they were in
'efficiency' mode after the Cataclysm (explaining their inactivity)
> >>
> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and decrease
> fear of the gods>
> Nobody was supposed to defeat Paladine and co. either. If someone like Fist
> was ambitious enough to take on Tak, he would gladly go after relatively low
> hanging fruit like a minion.
minions are cheap and numerous. Raist wouldn't bother because Takhy'd
just replace the thing, other mortals would think of it in terms of a
battle between Micronesia and America.
> >> >> >> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
> >> >> <explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
everybody concurs that the excuse was manufactured. Probably he was
simply getting too popular. The 'emergency' theory is upheld by the
timing just before the Cwth Games...
>
> <21 year old male seeks chill old lady for companionship and possible romance>
>
> >cryogenics is where it's at
heh heh heh. Severed heads
> <RPG storylines that make FBI agents' ears perk up>
> >>
> >> >> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
> <Simon's too tall to play Mini-Me>
<shave Bunsen?>
> It doesn't seem to hurt Mr. Bigglesworth.
methinks MiniMe was brought in to 1984 the cat
>
> >> ><shouldn't watch AP2 undrugged>
> >> <AP2 at DragonCon 2000 should be a hoot>
> >> ><byo 12ga>
> <People are preternaturally goofy at DragonCon>
> >
> >lock AND load
>
> I don't think so, not with so many SCA knights about.
good point. Nuke 'em from orbit. Only way to be sure.
>
> >> ><me a former wolf?>
> >yo, bitch!
> >(DL Destroyer battle cry)
>
> Sounds more turkey than wolf to me.
<rack>. It's huntin' time!
> >
> >> >> ><why topknots?>
> >> ><one reason to keep hair outta beer>
> >> <Kender fart perfume>
> <Beer smell wins over fart stink any day>
> East or West a fart still stinks.
as kender are Greygem critters descended from either warped humans or
elves, what would they think?
> >
> ><kender playing Kojak>
<kender and guns>
>
> That'll make the kenders' day, as they borrow Dirty Harry blind.
would you personally consider firing off a .44 Magnum? I know I
wouldn't, and a kender would need to mount the thing.
> >
> >> >> <friends in customs>
> <Rohan doesn't have a passport, and Dad's not footing the bill for a trip
> outside Australia>
> I think you'll have a hard time circulating notes that have "Monopoly" stamped
> on them.
how droll. And I *do* have a passport. Just customs have the identity
with frequent flier points
> >
> >> ><exchange of pleasantries and death threats>
> >> <Altarielle did well on a gambling side trip to Las Vegas>
<it's coming right for us!>
> Nah. The slots were generous, and I had a good time watching my Canadian
> colleagues attempt to conquer Las Vegas. Besides, one of us had to stay sober.
lynchin' Las Vegas...
<stalking Altarielle>
> ><whistle> Bunsen!
>
> Say goodbye, Bunsen.
you're not going to hurt my puppy are you?
> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
> >> >> >> ><what the cat saw>
> >> ><The Living Bible>
> >> <Kinky page turners>
> >did I mention I'm a fairly large man?
> >(I did in Jean Rabe Faces The Press)
>
> So we're talking John Candy here?
not that large. Thanks for the ego deflation.
> >> >
> >> <Kitty commandos>
<sit!>
> >tried that before reaching for the gun. That stash of identical
> >labrador puppies was a godsend.
>
> Good. It means no one will miss Bunsen.
you wouldn't really hurt my doggy would you?
>
> >> <Snow would have to learn how to be a trophy wife>
> >> <Snow only needs to learn how to look good>
> >wouldn't Snow have seduced a knight and gotten him to whack the Queen?
>
> Eleanor certainly would have, and she'd have made sure no one was the wiser.
Snow should've embezzled from the dwarves to fund assassins
> >> >> >> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
> <Getting ahead is the best way of getting even>
> >hmm. Philosophy.
> ><reach for revolver>
>
> It's not there. The kender have it.
oh shit. But I've got several, one stashed in a filing cabinet marked
'Tax Law.'
> >>
> <Latin et al>
<dirty minded translator>
> >> >EEEEP! How big are your hands?
> >>
> >> Big enough to do damage, especially since I have a pianist-like long
> >fingers.
> >
> >no wonder Gilbert looks like Yoda. A 62" pianist?
>
> No, I have bigger (like 6') fish to fry than Gilbert. And even little kids can
> play the piano.
I may be forced to tie you up and make you watch porn
> >> >> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
> >> >> >> <Caligula wacko moment 1- he promotes his horse to Senator>
> >and the retirement plan is something Aussies would like. cf Mal
> >Colston, caught blatantly abusing his privileges (like a lot of other
> >pollies I'd say), who doesn't go to court until he's done as much damage
> >as possible.
>
> The retirement plan was pretty good in Incitatus' day too -- Claudius retired
> him to a breeding farm.
if only we could send our pollies to the knackery
> >
> >> <Caligula calls his daughter a boy, then does a drag show.>
> >either way, it was cool that they whacked the daughter as well :)
>
> Graves wrote about Julia as a little monster who managed to bite and draw blood
> before she was killed.
did her nanny get to drop the hammer?
>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
> >> >> <War Mages are accepted in ordinary society>
> >> ><Lost Battles over mage slavery?>
> >> <Horken was probably typical of most war mages, living openly in society>
<tolerance, Flotsam style>
> You're most likely right. But that also proves that powerful wizards could
> have successfully integrated themselves into the major cities.
Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
> >> <Rohan as my son?>
> >well, iirc you're about 30 now, and my understanding is that it's almost
> >medically impossible for a woman to reproduce over age fifty...
>
> Still don't get it. I can conceive a kid tonight if I wanted to.
food for thought. Obviously nobody knows, but it sounds like a bad idea
for two versions of the same person to exist simultaneously. According
to Chronomancer, the world may literally end if this happens. Note how
in the Terminator films Kyle Reese was way too young to have been alive
in 1984.
> >
> <Altarielle doesn't believe in plastic surgery or excessive decoration>
> >owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I just found out that circumcision has
> >effectively been banned by the UN (court order required if <18 &
> >incapable of giving consent). Of course, although Australia signed the
> >treaty 'that doesn't mean you can reasonably expect it to be passed into
> >law.'
>
> Circumcision is good for men, it helps prevent infections.
assuming they can't be taught to clean it? Let's expand the program to
removal of outer labia and pubic electrolysis.
> >> <Eddings writes Fifth age style sorcery better than Rabe>
> <Fire and Forget has its pluses and minuses, but a wizard should not have to
> "forget" spells he uses regularly>
<'spell' is triggering a much longer hanging spell>
> Let's wait for D&D 3 then.
do you ever play Cyberpunk 2020?
> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
> >I'm bait, you're lunch.
>
> Nope. I'm the bounty hunter, you're the bounty.
or so you think
>
> >> >> <Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
> <Danny DeVito would be perfect for this role>
> <Rohan's being as exclusive as the KoS in regard to Danny>
> >
> >famous people are incapable of being normal
>
> Of course they are. Look at Jimmy Stewart's life.
propaganda exception to the rule? I dislike the celebrity culture.
>
> >> >> >> ><wanna come over?>
> >> <Altarielle cooks only under duress and orders takeout when possible>
> >> There are at least security cameras in some of those.
> >
> >yes, I installed them. Technology, you've gotta love it.
>
> Yes I do. I especially love to modify technology.
so who's pulling a Speed on who?
<taking her out>
> >> >'you' can send postcards
> >>
> >> She knows my handwriting.
> >
> >so will my computer after a few hours. You're not allergic to sodium
> >penthothal are you?
>
> Immune is the word.
and you were in the S.A.S. when?
> >> >> >> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
> >> >> >> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
> >> >> <KoS behavior is inconsistent, but Qualinost doesn't care>
> >> <KoS as the second coming of the Kingpriest>
<flipping off Crysania>
> >wouldn't that be like the Jesuits telling the Pope to go jump?
>
> More like Martin Luther telling the Pope to go jump.
yes, they're clearly separate organisations (even pre-cataclysm they
were separate from the church heirarchy). However, they're meant to
follow Paladine and Crysania defines Paladine's word.
> >> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
> >> ><why the hell did he do THAT?>
> >> <A man's more than a "Y" chromosome>
<explosive attire, underwear required>
> >and if I didn't?
>
> You wouldn't be excused and you'd have to stand in the corner.
I'll just hug this support pillar then
>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
> >> <Like the Measure, The Warsaw Pact was not a quick fix solution.>
> <The Warsaw Pact at least delivered the UN to the world stage>
> <Whitestone isn't hampered with the Security Council like the UN is>
>
> But the Council of Whitestone makes decisions only on issues that have a world
> shattering impact. No one will call a meeting of the Council to return
> Porthios to his throne, for example.
it's not a formal body. They will if it's in everybody's interests that
Porthios is back.
> >> <Post WWII nations intervened more on behalf of minorities.>
> >>
> <Post WWII nations made a show of aiding only one minority then went about
> their business.>
>
> <The KoS became more politically aware after the Chaos War, but the Measure was
> not considered open for other nations' interference>
<Vietnam syndrome>
US foreign policy was almost destroyed by Congress in reaction to
Nixon's stunts
> >
> >> >>
> >> <Like the Solamnics, post WWII US did not apply world learnings to the
> >> situation at home>
> <In WWII, the US wanted the bomb. In the WotL, the KoS wanted the Dragonlance>
> >
> >presumably Sturm would've joined long ago if he'd been able to, and he
> >had a legendary pedigree. If somebody like *him* can't get in...
>
> IIRC, Sturm didn't stay because he was disillusioned with what the Knighthood
> had become. No one questioned that his family was an old and honorable Solamnic
> line.
there were young knights who felt able to speak out about the issues, so
why not join them?
<KoS as 1941 USMC>
> The KoS that were coming in after rules were relaxed were undisciplined and had
> no respect for tradition. You're always going to have those knights like Liam,
> who are angry that the new recruits are not all Sturm wannabes and who believe
> that the Measure provides order amidst the chaos. After Gunthar's aborted
> attempt to join with the KoT, you'll have some wariness about admitting
> Minotaurs. As for the rest, women are in already, and dwarves and elves just
> aren't all that interested.
like the LoS, it should be an individual basis
>
> >> >> >> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
> >> <Tika would not take a skillet to Gunthar>
> >> >
> <Tika would have lectured Tanin and Sturm on the problems with the Measure>
>
> <Per DQ, Tika had a high opinion of Gunthar>
> >
> <There must have been other orders out there besides the LoS and KoS for Tanin
> and Sturm to join>
>
> Tika was in a panic that Palin was going off to the world on his own -- she's
> not going to send Tanin and Sturm off to sign on with strangers. Tika
> respected Gunthar and Sara enough to compare the former to her husband and to
> extend hospitality to the latter. Since Steel would not have been someone Tika
> considered a role model, it makes perfect sense that she would talk up Gunthar.
Tanin and Sturm were adults when Steel was discovered, remember? And
Tanis and Laurana knew nearly everybody.
>
> >> >> <Gunthar's changes don't mean a thing until everyone who meets the
> >> >ideological requirements can join>
> >>
> <Gunthar was slowly working to expand the membership in the KoS beyond women
> and non-Solamnics but the knights were conservative>
<plenty of people qualified>
> Agreed. And Liam would have let him join if Valian wanted to. So the
KoS is
> changing exactly as Gunthar intended.
of course, we're talking from two books of doubtful canon status. And
probably they laughed at Uhoh because some ideas are just ridiculous.
> >> >> >> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the failure
> >of the treaty>
> >> >> <Crownguard's demise gave old-timers a way to absolve the Measure of any
> >> >blame ,for the KoS' decline>
> >> >>
> >> <Gunthar has to try and please everybody by compromising>
> >trebuchets aren't honourable but they're also fun. Watch those
> >pavillions GO DOWN.
>
> Gunthar will win. He killed a boar all by himself, remember?
when he was ninety at that. See above "canon status"
>
> >> >> >> <The knighthood is comprised of undisciplined youngsters and
> >> >conservative moderates>
>
> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
> >it's a big long drop. It's even got a throne at the top
>
> Women want privacy -- that little anatomical difference dictates that our
> business gets done 100% in stalls.
it's got an enclosed room at the top. What more do you want?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
> >bit of an angle for him, even (shit) full size
>
> I have faith in him.
the sivak's found some prostitutes to kill by now
> >> >> <Rohan, author>
> >> <explanation of Sword Character>
> >> >>
> <explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
<Sword, demon redeemed>
> Congrats. How does the E. Timor situation look across the waters there in
> Australia? The biggest scare here is encephalitus, with the latest confirmed
> death being too close for comfort.
everybody in the country wants to send in troops. If only *your*
country could apply the Kosovo rationale here...
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
> >> >> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
> >
> >I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
>
> Collars have a habit of falling off. Here Bunsen, here pup....
he's being followed by a variety of surveillance methods, incl keyhole
spysats.
> >> >You and only you.
> >>
> >> How lovingly loyal.
> >
> >I will follow you wherever you may go
>
> There isn't an ocean to deep to keep you away?
glub. qwertyuiop
> >
> >> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
> >vergin' on lobster
>
> I'll be sure to give her a shell cracker.
related supplies are part of the deal
> >
> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
> >> If you shoot Gilean, you'll never be happy.
> >
> >okay, I'll just go postal at a train station
>
> You'd better hope Gilean is not the god of choo-choos.
oh, I've done a Reservoir Dogs on Reorx...
> >
> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
> >I'd probably better not directly threaten a specific person...
>
> This is the kind of thing where I can see the hat being passed around WotC, per
> an alphabetized list.
I'm doomed, aren't I?
> >> >> >> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
> >> >> >imagine me there
> >> >>
> >> >> <closes eyes> Now what?
> >> >
> >> >you're not imagining hard enough
> >>
> >> <laughs> That's what you think.
> >
> >what am I wearing then?
>
> An apprehensive grin.
more like a Dirty Harry frown
> >> >> >> >> <Aussies in drag>
> >> >> >> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
> >> >> >> >blackmail
> >> <Simon's the normal one>
> >>
> ><kiss me you fool>
> >> What an adorable little cutie pie.
> >
> >times like this when you just need a good sharp wakizashi
>
> Still won't move things beyond the facial cheek, poopsie, especially since that
> alone elicits gunfire.
and the question for the day: is there a round under the hammer?
<splash>
> >you can send an email from the Kill Van Kull (or whatever it is) and
> >pretend to be in Australia
>
> Sounds too much like a PBEM to me. And I did the Palace Chat with Tracy and it
> seemed to move too slow.
can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
> >> >> >> >> ><last supper>
> >maybe I shouldn't hint so much at my night activities then.
>
> The incisors should hold the rose just so.
al dente disposal?
> >> >> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
> >> >> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
> >> I think shaving our legs together is allowable under the Madonna code.
> >
> >I think I'll just inject human faeces into my eyeball.
> Are you looking for a deeper shade of brown? Contact lenses would be easier.
if you haven't seen the t-shirt you don't know the reference. Blue.
>
> > I was talking more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves shaved...
> So shaving with a dwarf is your idea of a good time? You do have rather, ahem,
> exotic tastes.
that's not *quite* what I was getting at...
> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >well, Sean had already roped in our friend Granak and he gave her an
> >ultimatum. He didn't tell me the response.
> Her? Granak is a woman?
according to you Vee is female. If the answer was 'no', Granak
currently is.
> >
> >> <British time keeping>
> >nobody knows how it works. Nothing wrong with what we've got.
>
> So it'd be okay if someone at war with Great Britian torpedoed Aussie subs that
> had HMS splattered across them?
HM*A*S. Similarly we've got the RAAF. Try saying HMNZS and RNZAF.
There are obvious national differences.
> >> >I'll just get that NYPD uniform
>
> The traditional blue is much better than regional colors.
I might join the navy and drop by in a sailor suit
> >> >>>so, how many did you bag?
> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
> >> >
> <Altarielle's good, just harsh with extravagant rule breakers>
> >>
> >which 'Dilbert' character are you?
>
> My guess is Dogbert.
fetch the stick and don't get the burning, hissing bit in your mouth
> >> > I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
> >> >retribution.
> >>
> >> Saliva isn't particularly painful.
> >
> >tongue, fists, whip... varying defns.
>
> <laughs> It looks like I'll have to teach you the correct one.
come over here and say that
<dya need my bountiful flow of warmth?>
> >> Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me laugh on
> >> occasion.
> >
> >otherwise, pass the Prozac?
>
> As someone recently pointed out to me," just what could you and Tolstrup
> possibly talk about that can take 800 lines?"
my plans to carve you up with a machete, put you through a mulcher and
get Spike, Bunsen, Gilbert and Vee together for a party
> >> My boss is your clone? How'd you manage to add an extra "X" chromosome?
> >
> >we've got more than a single set of genes, otherwise how the hell do we
> >have parties?
>
> It's nice to know that you are in touch with your feminine side.
I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!!!!!
Hypothetically, were we able to choose gender...
> >> >so you've suppressed my memory. In any event, see above RE passport,
> >> >and if necessary I can get a big-arse slingshot + parachute.
> >>
> >> So that means that you will be there in the middle of the night? --
> >remember
> >> and be warned, I am a light sleeper.
> >
> >so I'll take along a pillow in my off-hand
>
> Good, that gives me a clear shot
interesting intellectual connection there
>
> >> >there are words for women like you...
> >>
> >> and they're chanted by my male worshippers three times a day as they face
> >NYC.
> >
> >not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
>
> No, the goddess of domination.
!@#$%^&*(
> >> >>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me. Grrr
> >> <spin>.
> >>
> >> >>Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
> >>
> >> >dammit! But both she and I know about Tuesday 17 November 1998...
> >>
> >> That Cass is a clever one, isn't she?
> >
> >she still won't admit I've got a geostationary satellite over her house
> >and I've rigged the local fauna with a/v hookup. What do you expect
> >from a man who gives explicit 'cover your tracks by making it look like
> >rape' murder instructions?
>
> I think the lack of passport, two continents, and two oceans is just as
> effective a deterrent to access Canada as it is to access the Northeastern US.
I've still got a passport, and why do you think Customs grabbed the 'Bob
Hefner' passport?
>
> > >>oh, and if you see a man-sized rat walking around with a HK MP2000 and a
> > >>big, poison-drippin' dagger, wave.
> >
> >> I will, right after I point Vee in your direction.
>
> <Wistful description of unlikely possiblility of Vee being suckered by a
> Wererat>
>
> It would have worked, if Vee weren't a descendant of Guenhwyvar, and if my
> worshippers aren't instructed to shadow the sacred cat at all times.
so Sean chucks a grenade and dives down a drainpipe in his Rodens form.
Of course, he sensed Vee approaching and set up on a roof with a Walther
WA 2000 selfloading .300 Winchester Magnum sniper rifle. And are you
sure it's really Vee?
Let's bear in mind that Sean has enough rage for the entire Trenchcoat
Mafia, plus access to an arsenal. And he's already killed one cat
(broken fuses tossed into the eyes, while trapped in rodens a day after
the first change)
Rohan "Pussyslayer" Tolstrup
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> <With primordial sorcery, gods may not need worship to survive>
>
<It was assumed that Krynnish gods followed the AD&D model and needed worship
to survive>
Krynnish gods may be the new and improved model -- to use your laptop analogy,
the AD&D gods may be the C64 version while Paladine & Co are pentiums.
>> >>
>> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and
>decrease fear of the gods>
>minions are cheap and numerous. Raist wouldn't bother because Takhy'd
>just replace the thing, other mortals would think of it in terms of a
>battle between Micronesia and America.
Then it sounds like the gods would have to interfere more than they would have
if they left no intermediary in charge. The point in Reavers was that the gods
were absorbed and exhausted handling multiplanar conflicts -- saving the bacon
of their minions or calling forth new ones on a regular basis sounds like a
waste of resources.
>
>> >> >> >> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
>> >> >> <explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
>> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
<the nice guy was framed because he was too popular>
You can only make your old superior look bad only after you become his
superior.
>>
>> <21 year old male seeks chill old lady for companionship and possible
>romance>
>>
>> >cryogenics is where it's at
>
>heh heh heh. Severed heads
Severed, eh? Poor man, no wonder you have a self esteem problem.
>> >> >> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
>> <Simon's too tall to play Mini-Me>
><shave Bunsen?>
<It won't hurt to be Bigglesworth the Retriever>
>
>methinks MiniMe was brought in to 1984 the cat
That's why Bunsen is the perfect Mini-Me -- he's close enough to being a wolf
to capture your singular traits.
>> >> ><shouldn't watch AP2 undrugged>
>> >> <AP2 at DragonCon 2000 should be a hoot>
>> >> ><byo 12ga>
>> <People are preternaturally goofy at DragonCon>
<SCA Knights enforce security>
>
>good point. Nuke 'em from orbit. Only way to be sure.
From Flashdance to Aliens? Your movie selection is improving.
>>
>> >> ><me a former wolf?>
<<Maybe, but you gobble like a turkey>
><rack>. It's huntin' time!
You said it. Thankksgiving's just around the corner.
>> >
>> >> >> ><why topknots?>
>> >> ><one reason to keep hair outta beer>
>> >> <Kender fart perfume>
>> <Beer smell wins over fart stink any day>
>> East or West a fart still stinks.
>
>as kender are Greygem critters descended from either warped humans or
>elves, what would they think?
Unless they descended from goblins, kender noses should still be normal.
>> >
>> ><kender playing Kojak>
><kender and guns>
>>
>> That'll make the kenders' day, as they borrow Dirty Harry blind.
>
>would you personally consider firing off a .44 Magnum? I know I
>wouldn't, and a kender would need to mount the thing.
They'd borrow, not shoot. It may not make Harry's day, but it'll sure make
theirs.
>> >
>> >> >> <friends in customs>
>> <Rohan doesn't have a passport, and Dad's not footing the bill for a trip
>> outside Australia>
<Your money is funny, Koalataur>
>
>how droll. And I *do* have a passport. Just customs have the identity
>with frequent flier points
Whatever you say.
>> >
>> >> ><exchange of pleasantries and death threats>
>> >> <Altarielle did well on a gambling side trip to Las Vegas>
><it's coming right for us!>
<Those wild and crazy Canadians>
>
>lynchin' Las Vegas...
More like Las Vegas lynched them.
><stalking Altarielle>
>> ><whistle> Bunsen!
>>
>> Say goodbye, Bunsen.
>
>you're not going to hurt my puppy are you?
Not much, no.
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee's on the lookout>
>> >> >> >> ><what the cat saw>
>> >> ><The Living Bible>
>> >> <Kinky page turners>
>> >did I mention I'm a fairly large man?
>> >(I did in Jean Rabe Faces The Press)
>>
>> So we're talking John Candy here?
>
>not that large. Thanks for the ego deflation.
I just asked the question. You did refer to 6 humans in that living Bible, you
know.
>> >> >
>> >> <Kitty commandos>
><sit!>
>> >tried that before reaching for the gun. That stash of identical
>> >labrador puppies was a godsend.
>>
>> Good. It means no one will miss Bunsen.
>
>you wouldn't really hurt my doggy would you?
Nah. Bunsen would probably like it here in the States.
>>
>> >> <Snow would have to learn how to be a trophy wife>
>> >> <Snow only needs to learn how to look good>
>> >wouldn't Snow have seduced a knight and gotten him to whack the Queen?
>>
>> Eleanor certainly would have, and she'd have made sure no one was the
>wiser.
>
>Snow should've embezzled from the dwarves to fund assassins
She didn't have to -- she managed to con the huntsman.
>
>> >> >> >> <Being ignored is worse than being hated.>
>> <Getting ahead is the best way of getting even>
>> >hmm. Philosophy.
>> ><reach for revolver>
>>
>> It's not there. The kender have it.
>
>oh shit. But I've got several, one stashed in a filing cabinet marked
>'Tax Law.'
The tax department paid me good money for that one.
>> >>
>> <Latin et al>
><dirty minded translator>
>> >> >EEEEP! How big are your hands?
>> >>
>> >> Big enough to do damage, especially since I have a pianist-like long
>> >fingers.
>> >
>> >no wonder Gilbert looks like Yoda. A 62" pianist?
>>
>> No, I have bigger (like 6') fish to fry than Gilbert. And even little kids
>can play the piano.
>
>I may be forced to tie you up and make you watch porn
I prefer to learn biology from textbooks, thanks.
>> >> >> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
>> >> <Caligula calls his daughter a boy, then does a drag show.>
>> >either way, it was cool that they whacked the daughter as well :)
>>
>> Graves wrote about Julia as a little monster who managed to bite and draw
>blood
>> before she was killed.
>
>did her nanny get to drop the hammer?
Soldiers dashed her brains against the wall.
>>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Sorcery as a lifestyle choice>
>> >> >> <War Mages are accepted in ordinary society>
>> >> ><Lost Battles over mage slavery?>
>> >> <Horken was probably typical of most war mages, living openly in
>society>
><tolerance, Flotsam style>
>> You're most likely right. But that also proves that powerful wizards could
>> have successfully integrated themselves into the major cities.
>
>Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
Palanthians were accustomed to powerful aloof figures in residence like
Astinus, and had a diverse cosmopolitan make up.
>
>> >> <Rohan as my son?>
<The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
So you're basically giving me a good reason to marry and have children ASAP.
>> >
>> <Altarielle doesn't believe in plastic surgery or excessive decoration>
<Circumcision has been outlawed for the 18 and under set by the UN>
>> Circumcision is good for men, it helps prevent infections.
>
>assuming they can't be taught to clean it? Let's expand the program to
>removal of outer labia and pubic electrolysis.
Feel free to shave whatever the mood strikes you. It can only keep you
healthier.
>> >> <Eddings writes Fifth age style sorcery better than Rabe>
>> <Fire and Forget has its pluses and minuses, but a wizard should not have
>to "forget" spells he uses regularly>
><'spell' is triggering a much longer hanging spell>
>> Let's wait for D&D 3 then.
>
>do you ever play Cyberpunk 2020?
No. But if you hum a few bars I can strum a few strings.
>> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
>> >I'm bait, you're lunch.
>>
>> Nope. I'm the bounty hunter, you're the bounty.
>
>or so you think
Such sweet innocence.
>>
>> >> >> <Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
>> <Danny DeVito would be perfect for this role>
>> <Rohan's being as exclusive as the KoS in regard to Danny>
>> >
>> >famous people are incapable of being normal
>>
>> Of course they are. Look at Jimmy Stewart's life.
>
>propaganda exception to the rule? I dislike the celebrity culture.
Celebrity culture varies like everything else. Alan Alda is another normal
guy, and so is Ron Howard.
>>
>> >> >> >> ><wanna come over?>
>> >> <Altarielle cooks only under duress and orders takeout when possible>
>> >> There are at least security cameras in some of those.
>> >
>> >yes, I installed them. Technology, you've gotta love it.
>>
>> Yes I do. I especially love to modify technology.
>
>so who's pulling a Speed on who?
She who must be obeyed.
>
><taking her out>
>> >> >'you' can send postcards
>> >>
>> >> She knows my handwriting.
>> >
>> >so will my computer after a few hours. You're not allergic to sodium
>> >penthothal are you?
>>
>> Immune is the word.
>
>and you were in the S.A.S. when?
In one of my previous lifetimes.
>
>> >> >> >> > >> <Solamnic Politics>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Porthios is too busy to cultivate Solamnic recruits>
>> >> >> <KoS behavior is inconsistent, but Qualinost doesn't care>
>> >> <KoS as the second coming of the Kingpriest>
><flipping off Crysania>
>> >wouldn't that be like the Jesuits telling the Pope to go jump?
>>
>> More like Martin Luther telling the Pope to go jump.
>
>yes, they're clearly separate organisations (even pre-cataclysm they
>were separate from the church heirarchy). However, they're meant to
>follow Paladine and Crysania defines Paladine's word.
Martin Luther was a Catholic priest, iirc, when he told the Pope to go jump.
Luther didn't think he and the Pope were worshipping different Gods when he did
that.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
>> >> ><why the hell did he do THAT?>
>> >> <A man's more than a "Y" chromosome>
><explosive attire, underwear required>
>> >and if I didn't?
>>
>> You wouldn't be excused and you'd have to stand in the corner.
>
>I'll just hug this support pillar then
If that's what you want to call it ....
>>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
>> >> <Like the Measure, The Warsaw Pact was not a quick fix solution.>
>> <The Warsaw Pact at least delivered the UN to the world stage>
>> <Whitestone isn't hampered with the Security Council like the UN is>
>>
>> But the Council of Whitestone makes decisions only on issues that have a
>world shattering impact. No one will call a meeting of the Council to return
>> Porthios to his throne, for example.
>
>it's not a formal body. They will if it's in everybody's interests that
>Porthios is back.
And it should be in everyone's interests, per your explanation that revising
the Measure is in everyone's interests.
>
>> >> <Post WWII nations intervened more on behalf of minorities.>
>> >>
>> <Post WWII nations made a show of aiding only one minority then went about
>> their business.>
>>
>> <The KoS became more politically aware after the Chaos War, but the Measure
>was not considered open for other nations' interference>
>
><Vietnam syndrome>
>US foreign policy was almost destroyed by Congress in reaction to
>Nixon's stunts
WaterGate did Nixon in. China was his crowning glory.
>> >> >>
>> >> <Like the Solamnics, post WWII US did not apply world learnings to the
>> >> situation at home>
>> <In WWII, the US wanted the bomb. In the WotL, the KoS wanted the
>Dragonlance>
>> >
>> >presumably Sturm would've joined long ago if he'd been able to, and he
>> >had a legendary pedigree. If somebody like *him* can't get in...
>>
>> IIRC, Sturm didn't stay because he was disillusioned with what the
>Knighthood had become. No one questioned that his family was an old and
honorable Solamnic line.
>
>there were young knights who felt able to speak out about the issues, so
>why not join them?
The young knights were too few, and Sturm wanted to help people, not reform the
knighthood. Remember his remark about how even Raistlin was doing more for the
people than the knights?
>
><KoS as 1941 USMC>
<Gunthar opened the knighthood to women and non-Solamnics, but non-human races
are not beating a path to his door>
>
>like the LoS, it should be an individual basis
Eventually it will be, except that the idealogical requirement will remain. A
LoS and KoS merger has a better chance of success than the KoT merger did.
>>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <The Solamnic rank and file is not jaded>
>> >> <Tika would not take a skillet to Gunthar>
>> >> >
>> <Tika would have lectured Tanin and Sturm on the problems with the Measure>
>>
>> <Per DQ, Tika had a high opinion of Gunthar>
>> >
>> <There must have been other orders out there besides the LoS and KoS for
>Tanin and Sturm to join>
>>
>> <Tika would have talked up Sara and Gunthar to her sons before endorsing
other orders>
>
>Tanin and Sturm were adults when Steel was discovered, remember? And
>Tanis and Laurana knew nearly everybody.
My bad on Steel. But the good opinion the HotL had about Gunthar would have
translated favorably on Sturm and Tanin.
>>
>> >> >> <Gunthar's changes don't mean a thing until everyone who meets the
>> >> >ideological requirements can join>
>> >>
>> <Gunthar was slowly working to expand the membership in the KoS beyond
>women and non-Solamnics but the knights were conservative>
><plenty of people qualified>
> > Agreed. And Liam would have let him join if Valian wanted to. So the
>KoS is changing exactly as Gunthar intended.
>
>of course, we're talking from two books of doubtful canon status. And
>probably they laughed at Uhoh because some ideas are just ridiculous.
Liam wasn't exactly thrilled with the motley crew that opens up the Rose and
the Skull.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <You can't point the finger at the Measure alone for the
>failure of the treaty>
>> >> >> <Crownguard's demise gave old-timers a way to absolve the Measure of
>any blame ,for the KoS' decline>
>> >> <Gunthar has to try and please everybody by compromising>
>> >trebuchets aren't honourable but they're also fun. Watch those
>> >pavillions GO DOWN.
>>
>> Gunthar will win. He killed a boar all by himself, remember?
>
>when he was ninety at that. See above "canon status"
I don't believe that one either, I'm just being annoying.
>>
>> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
>> >it's a big long drop. It's even got a throne at the top
>>
>> Women want privacy -- that little anatomical difference dictates that our
>> business gets done 100% in stalls.
>
>it's got an enclosed room at the top. What more do you want?
Electronic flushing, sinks, and a full length mirror.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
>> >bit of an angle for him, even (shit) full size
>>
>> I have faith in him.
>
>the sivak's found some prostitutes to kill by now
You sure? He may have morphed into Spike by now.
>> >> >> <Rohan, author>
>> >> <explanation of Sword Character>
>> >> >>
>> <explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
><Sword, demon redeemed>
>> Congrats. How does the E. Timor situation look across the waters there in
>> Australia? The biggest scare here is encephalitus, with the latest
>confirmed death being too close for comfort.
>
>everybody in the country wants to send in troops. If only *your*
>country could apply the Kosovo rationale here...
Looks unlikely. Word from Washington is that the US will pull out personnel
and cease joint military maneuvers. Let me know when you enlist.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
>> >> >> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
>> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>> >
>> >I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
>>
>> Collars have a habit of falling off. Here Bunsen, here pup....
>
>he's being followed by a variety of surveillance methods, incl keyhole
>spysats.
I guess I'll have to dissect him to find the transponder. And I really wanted
a pet dog, too.
>> >> >You and only you.
>> >>
>> >> How lovingly loyal.
>> >
>> >I will follow you wherever you may go
>>
>> There isn't an ocean to deep to keep you away?
>
>glub. qwertyuiop
I guess I have my answer. Hope your clothes were wash and wear.
>> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
>> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
>> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>> >vergin' on lobster
>>
>> I'll be sure to give her a shell cracker.
>
>related supplies are part of the deal
Remember, it has to be toasty red with lots of butter.
>> >
>> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
>> >> If you shoot Gilean, you'll never be happy.
>> >
>> >okay, I'll just go postal at a train station
>>
>> You'd better hope Gilean is not the god of choo-choos.
>
>oh, I've done a Reservoir Dogs on Reorx...
He's got it coming, after being responsible for DoSF.
>> >
>> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
>> >I'd probably better not directly threaten a specific person...
>>
>> This is the kind of thing where I can see the hat being passed around WotC,
>per an alphabetized list.
>
>I'm doomed, aren't I?
With the Hasbro deep pockets being tapped, I would say yes.
>
>> >> >> >> I'm sure you can negotiate a deal.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> >Seawolf-class fast-attack sub sounds good. Just close your eyes and
>> >> >> >imagine me there
>> >> >>
>> >> >> <closes eyes> Now what?
>> >> >
>> >> >you're not imagining hard enough
>> >>
>> >> <laughs> That's what you think.
>> >
>> >what am I wearing then?
>>
>> An apprehensive grin.
>
>more like a Dirty Harry frown
Go ahead, make my day.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Aussies in drag>
>> >> >> >> >> Brotherly love. How sweet.
>> >> >> >> >blackmail
>> >> <Simon's the normal one>
>> >>
>> ><kiss me you fool>
>> >> What an adorable little cutie pie.
>> >
>> >times like this when you just need a good sharp wakizashi
>>
>> Still won't move things beyond the facial cheek, poopsie, especially since
>that alone elicits gunfire.
>
>and the question for the day: is there a round under the hammer?
Be sure your personnal effects are in order. I'll take Bunsen, if Simon
doesn't want him.
>
><splash>
>> >you can send an email from the Kill Van Kull (or whatever it is) and
>> >pretend to be in Australia
>>
>> Sounds too much like a PBEM to me. And I did the Palace Chat with Tracy
>and it seemed to move too slow.
>
>can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
Think of it as the obstacle course on American Gladiators.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><last supper>
>> >maybe I shouldn't hint so much at my night activities then.
>>
>> The incisors should hold the rose just so.
>
>al dente disposal?
Putting the bite into the last goodnight.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
>> >> >> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
>> >> I think shaving our legs together is allowable under the Madonna code.
>> >
>> >I think I'll just inject human faeces into my eyeball.
>> Are you looking for a deeper shade of brown? Contact lenses would be
>easier.
>
>if you haven't seen the t-shirt you don't know the reference. Blue.
The eyes or the T-shirt?
>>
>> > I was talking more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves shaved...
>> So shaving with a dwarf is your idea of a good time? You do have rather,
>ahem, exotic tastes.
>
>that's not *quite* what I was getting at...
I'm not sure what you're getting at, with all that talk about pubic
electrolysis -- with a dwarf, no less.
>> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> >well, Sean had already roped in our friend Granak and he gave her an
>> >ultimatum. He didn't tell me the response.
>> Her? Granak is a woman?
>
>according to you Vee is female. If the answer was 'no', Granak
>currently is.
I think Vee and Granak would get along famously. Formerly renegade Sivak and
currently renegade feline.
>> >
>> >> <British time keeping>
>> >nobody knows how it works. Nothing wrong with what we've got.
>>
>> So it'd be okay if someone at war with Great Britian torpedoed Aussie subs
>that
>> had HMS splattered across them?
>
>HM*A*S. Similarly we've got the RAAF. Try saying HMNZS and RNZAF.
>There are obvious national differences.
But you'll have no Her Majesty, so what will the HM stand for?
>
>> >> >I'll just get that NYPD uniform
>>
>> The traditional blue is much better than regional colors.
>
>I might join the navy and drop by in a sailor suit
Eat lots of spinach -- you'll need it.
>
>> >> >>>so, how many did you bag?
>> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
>> >> >
>> <Altarielle's good, just harsh with extravagant rule breakers>
>> >>
>> >which 'Dilbert' character are you?
>>
>> My guess is Dogbert.
>
>fetch the stick and don't get the burning, hissing bit in your mouth
No that's what I gave to Bunsen when I sent him back home.
>
>> >> > I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
>> >> >retribution.
>> >>
>> >> Saliva isn't particularly painful.
>> >
>> >tongue, fists, whip... varying defns.
>>
>> <laughs> It looks like I'll have to teach you the correct one.
>
>come over here and say that
When you wish upon a star ....
>
><dya need my bountiful flow of warmth?>
>> >> Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me laugh on
occasion.
>> >
>> >otherwise, pass the Prozac?
>>
>> As someone recently pointed out to me," just what could you and Tolstrup
>> possibly talk about that can take 800 lines?"
>
>my plans to carve you up with a machete, put you through a mulcher and
>get Spike, Bunsen, Gilbert and Vee together for a party
Still trying to get under my skin, eh?
>
>> >> My boss is your clone? How'd you manage to add an extra "X" chromosome?
>> >
>> >we've got more than a single set of genes, otherwise how the hell do we
>> >have parties?
>>
>> It's nice to know that you are in touch with your feminine side.
>
>I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!!!!!
>
>Hypothetically, were we able to choose gender...
Maybe you are Tak's bastard son after all.
>
>> >> >so you've suppressed my memory. In any event, see above RE passport,
>> >> >and if necessary I can get a big-arse slingshot + parachute.
>> >>
>> >> So that means that you will be there in the middle of the night? --
>> >remember
>> >> and be warned, I am a light sleeper.
>> >
>> >so I'll take along a pillow in my off-hand
>>
>> Good, that gives me a clear shot
>
>interesting intellectual connection there
Glad you got it.
>>
>> >> >there are words for women like you...
>> >>
>> >> and they're chanted by my male worshippers three times a day as they
>face NYC.
>> >
>> >not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
>>
>> No, the goddess of domination.
>
>!@#$%^&*(
Face NYC when you say that, my pooh bear of profanity.
>
>> >> >>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me.
>Grrr
>> >> <spin>.
>> >>
>> >> >>Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
>> >>
>> >> >dammit! But both she and I know about Tuesday 17 November 1998...
>> >>
>> >> That Cass is a clever one, isn't she?
>> >
>> >she still won't admit I've got a geostationary satellite over her house
>> >and I've rigged the local fauna with a/v hookup. What do you expect
>> >from a man who gives explicit 'cover your tracks by making it look like
>> >rape' murder instructions?
>>
>> I think the lack of passport, two continents, and two oceans is just as
>> effective a deterrent to access Canada as it is to access the Northeastern
>US.
>
>I've still got a passport, and why do you think Customs grabbed the 'Bob
>Hefner' passport?
No one will ever stamp a passport with a cut out picture of Alfred E Neuman on
the first page.
>>
>> > >>oh, and if you see a man-sized rat walking around with a HK MP2000 and
>a
>> > >>big, poison-drippin' dagger, wave.
>> >
>> >> I will, right after I point Vee in your direction.
>>
>> <Wistful description of unlikely possiblility of Vee being suckered by a
>> Wererat>
>>
>> It would have worked, if Vee weren't a descendant of Guenhwyvar, and if my
>> worshippers aren't instructed to shadow the sacred cat at all times.
>
<assassination attempt on sacred feline>
Gilbert would get the rodent before he dropped the grenade and shinnied.
>
>Rohan "Pussyslayer" Tolstrup
You need to have some to slay some, Koalataur.
Tolstrup
> Krynnish gods may be the new and improved model -- to use your laptop analogy,
> the AD&D gods may be the C64 version while Paladine & Co are pentiums.
it fits, and the rule seems to be universal - every product I've seen
dealing with gods at least hints that this is the case, especially the
blooded nobles of BR and the sorceror-kings of DS.
> >> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and
> >decrease fear of the gods>
> Then it sounds like the gods would have to interfere more than they would have
> if they left no intermediary in charge. The point in Reavers was that the gods
> were absorbed and exhausted handling multiplanar conflicts -- saving the bacon
> of their minions or calling forth new ones on a regular basis sounds like a
> waste of resources.
it's arguable thar Raist and Fisty, being essentially the same person
for this purpose, are totally unique. Huma arose only because Takhy had
been so extreme, and Raist was *really* pushing the envelope. DL was
(pre 2nd Gen) after all meant to be a world where there are maybe a half
dozen people above 15th level active ever.
> >> >> >> >> <Number 1's in trouble from the nice guy team player>
> >> >> >> <explanation of Ibrahim as a railroaded "nice guy" player>
> >> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
> <the nice guy was framed because he was too popular>
>
> You can only make your old superior look bad only after you become his
> superior.
the Soviet model? I'd say he miscalculated and triggered paranoia
<carne humana football for fun and profit>
> Severed, eh? Poor man, no wonder you have a self esteem problem.
not as in a certain minister of religion
>
> >> >> >> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
> >> <Simon's too tall to play Mini-Me>
> ><shave Bunsen?>
> <It won't hurt to be Bigglesworth the Retriever>
> >
> >methinks MiniMe was brought in to 1984 the cat
>
> That's why Bunsen is the perfect Mini-Me -- he's close enough to being a wolf
> to capture your singular traits.
gee, thanks. But I tend to be more of a rat in a cage.
> <SCA Knights enforce security>
> >
> >good point. Nuke 'em from orbit. Only way to be sure.
>
> From Flashdance to Aliens? Your movie selection is improving.
eventually I'll watch Good, Bad, Ugly. Due back Sunday. Divorcing Jack
was good for weirdness and bodycount, and I may have mentioned Dirty
Weekend, which is a nineties flick about a stalkee who turns the tables.
> >> >> ><me a former wolf?>
> <<Maybe, but you gobble like a turkey>
> ><rack>. It's huntin' time!
>
> You said it. Thankksgiving's just around the corner.
manifest destiny day? We save the turkey for Christmas, even though
we're not actually religious. And I've got a stunt double.
> >> >> >> ><why topknots?>
> >> >> ><one reason to keep hair outta beer>
> >> >> <Kender fart perfume>
> >> <Beer smell wins over fart stink any day>
> >as kender are Greygem critters descended from either warped humans or
> >elves, what would they think?
>
> Unless they descended from goblins, kender noses should still be normal.
the Mars Attack school of cultural comparison
> >> ><kender playing Kojak>
> ><kender and guns>
> >>
> >> That'll make the kenders' day, as they borrow Dirty Harry blind.
> >
> >would you personally consider firing off a .44 Magnum? I know I
> >wouldn't, and a kender would need to mount the thing.
>
> They'd borrow, not shoot. It may not make Harry's day, but it'll sure make
> theirs.
up there with the fourteen year-old girls bashing each other in a blow
bar
> <Your money is funny, Koalataur>
> >
> >how droll. And I *do* have a passport. Just customs have the identity
> >with frequent flier points
>
> Whatever you say.
of course, I could be sitting across the road from you. It's night
where you are when I type this, but I'm well-equipped.
> >lynchin' Las Vegas...
>
> More like Las Vegas lynched them.
*Casino* rocked. Beautiful hammer...
>
> ><stalking Altarielle>
> >> ><whistle> Bunsen!
> >>
> >> Say goodbye, Bunsen.
> >
> >you're not going to hurt my puppy are you?
>
> Not much, no.
I don't think he'd like that much (to quote Ricochet)
> >> So we're talking John Candy here?
> >
> >not that large. Thanks for the ego deflation.
>
> I just asked the question. You did refer to 6 humans in that living Bible, you
> know.
did I say *six*? Well, they're all calcium-deficient, so they fold up
easily enough.
> >you wouldn't really hurt my doggy would you?
>
> Nah. Bunsen would probably like it here in the States.
haven't you got ten times as many sacred cows you can't chew up?
<Snow Uth Matar>
> >Snow should've embezzled from the dwarves to fund assassins
>
> She didn't have to -- she managed to con the huntsman.
but would *you* want such a doofus working for you?
<frisky kender>
> >oh shit. But I've got several, one stashed in a filing cabinet marked
> >'Tax Law.'
>
> The tax department paid me good money for that one.
in dealing with kender, our judges make them copy the White Pages. I've
taken exactly the same book (last year's) and hollowed it out.
> >> >no wonder Gilbert looks like Yoda. A 62" pianist?
> >>
> >> No, I have bigger (like 6') fish to fry than Gilbert. And even little kids
> >can play the piano.
> >
> >I may be forced to tie you up and make you watch porn
>
> I prefer to learn biology from textbooks, thanks.
er, don't know what came over me
> >> >> >> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
> >did her nanny get to drop the hammer?
>
> Soldiers dashed her brains against the wall.
sounds satisfying, but I would've used a hatchet
> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
> >> You're most likely right. But that also proves that powerful wizards could
> >> have successfully integrated themselves into the major cities.
> >
> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
>
> Palanthians were accustomed to powerful aloof figures in residence like
> Astinus, and had a diverse cosmopolitan make up.
they still turfed the KoS and tried to torch the library. Point is,
most cities have organised law and political interests who don't want
mages freely present.
> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
> <The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
>
> So you're basically giving me a good reason to marry and have children ASAP.
oh shit. I was thinking I'd cark it during the shooting of a porno at
my 40th, but whatever. I don't give a shit.
> >> <Altarielle doesn't believe in plastic surgery or excessive decoration>
>
> <Circumcision has been outlawed for the 18 and under set by the UN>
>
> >> Circumcision is good for men, it helps prevent infections.
> >
> >assuming they can't be taught to clean it? Let's expand the program to
> >removal of outer labia and pubic electrolysis.
>
> Feel free to shave whatever the mood strikes you. It can only keep you
> healthier.
hmm. Actually, turns out to be *established Aussie law.* A High Court
(paramount Oz court) case ruled irreversible, nontherapeutic operations
require consent of child or, if incapable, the Family Court.
>
> >> >> <Eddings writes Fifth age style sorcery better than Rabe>
> >> <Fire and Forget has its pluses and minuses, but a wizard should not have
> >to "forget" spells he uses regularly>
> ><'spell' is triggering a much longer hanging spell>
> >> Let's wait for D&D 3 then.
> >
> >do you ever play Cyberpunk 2020?
> No. But if you hum a few bars I can strum a few strings.
the entire product line's held up by the 3rd edition being on hold, due
to the Japanese govt foot-dragging on the licensing of another game.
This means the conclusion to a world-changing three-part module series
has yet to be published. I knew the 3rd ed was coming when I started
playing in '97.
>
> >> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
> >> >I'm bait, you're lunch.
> >>
> >> Nope. I'm the bounty hunter, you're the bounty.
> >
> >or so you think
>
> Such sweet innocence.
such sweet American pie
> >> >> >> <Handsome vice cops should be pummeled by hairy flatulent belchers>
> >propaganda exception to the rule? I dislike the celebrity culture.
>
> Celebrity culture varies like everything else. Alan Alda is another normal
> guy, and so is Ron Howard.
aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhh. Certainly I haven't left many movies
without the urge to kill.
> >> >> >> >> ><wanna come over?>
> >> >> <Altarielle cooks only under duress and orders takeout when possible>
> >> >> There are at least security cameras in some of those.
> >> >
> >> >yes, I installed them. Technology, you've gotta love it.
> >>
> >> Yes I do. I especially love to modify technology.
> >
> >so who's pulling a Speed on who?
>
> She who must be obeyed.
you've been talking to my mother?
> ><taking her out>
> >> >> >'you' can send postcards
> >> >>
> >> >> She knows my handwriting.
> >> >
> >> >so will my computer after a few hours. You're not allergic to sodium
> >> >penthothal are you?
> >>
> >> Immune is the word.
> >
> >and you were in the S.A.S. when?
>
> In one of my previous lifetimes.
I suppose if you can implant one of your fertilised eggs in my mother in
late 1977-early '78 (without timetravelling yourself) you can have been
put through the S.A.S. interrogation course by some Reese type.
> ><flipping off Crysania>
> >yes, they're clearly separate organisations (even pre-cataclysm they
> >were separate from the church heirarchy). However, they're meant to
> >follow Paladine and Crysania defines Paladine's word.
>
> Martin Luther was a Catholic priest, iirc, when he told the Pope to go jump.
> Luther didn't think he and the Pope were worshipping different Gods when he did
> that.
but Luther was himself a priest. It's a fair bet that Elistan's KoS
converts (all professional soldiers) built the Order of the Sword from
the ground up, and Crysania was clearly his foremost student.
> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
> >> >> ><why the hell did he do THAT?>
> >> >> <A man's more than a "Y" chromosome>
> ><explosive attire, underwear required>
> >> >and if I didn't?
> >>
> >> You wouldn't be excused and you'd have to stand in the corner.
> >
> >I'll just hug this support pillar then
>
> If that's what you want to call it ....
I'm not that egotistical. I mean what's holding the building up.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
> >> >> <Like the Measure, The Warsaw Pact was not a quick fix solution.>
> >> <The Warsaw Pact at least delivered the UN to the world stage>
> >> <Whitestone isn't hampered with the Security Council like the UN is>
<Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
> And it should be in everyone's interests, per your explanation that revising
> the Measure is in everyone's interests.
a lot of this is based on logical deductions, on the basis that they are
actually Lawful Good and serious about honour. Whitestone for me was a
meeting of people with the same problem, although possibly based on an
existing alliance (hence the elves and dwarves didn't vote)
> >> <The KoS became more politically aware after the Chaos War, but the Measure
> >was not considered open for other nations' interference>
> >
> ><Vietnam syndrome>
> >US foreign policy was almost destroyed by Congress in reaction to
> >Nixon's stunts
>
> WaterGate did Nixon in. China was his crowning glory.
his foreign policy relied on both carrot and stick. Hardliners killed
the carrot, bleeding hearts the stick. Linking trade concessions to
letting Sov Jews emigrate to Israel succeeded in pissing off the 'second
world' and gaining no results.
> >there were young knights who felt able to speak out about the issues, so
> >why not join them?
>
> The young knights were too few, and Sturm wanted to help people, not reform the
> knighthood. Remember his remark about how even Raistlin was doing more for the
> people than the knights?
you'd think Sturm would've been more politically aware then. Somebody
that honourable would've been a recruiting poster.
> ><KoS as 1941 USMC>
> <Gunthar opened the knighthood to women and non-Solamnics, but non-human races
> are not beating a path to his door>
> >
> >like the LoS, it should be an individual basis
>
> Eventually it will be, except that the idealogical requirement will remain. A
> LoS and KoS merger has a better chance of success than the KoT merger did.
as discussed earlier, the chosen path was that the KoT lose their
honour, while IMC they lost their evil and joined forces against the
goddess who had betrayed them.
> >> <Tika would have talked up Sara and Gunthar to her sons before endorsing
> other orders>
> >
> >Tanin and Sturm were adults when Steel was discovered, remember? And
> >Tanis and Laurana knew nearly everybody.
>
> My bad on Steel. But the good opinion the HotL had about Gunthar would have
> translated favorably on Sturm and Tanin.
like I've said, Tanis would've made it his duty to know the truth (and
I'm sure he had effective spies in the KoS), and he would not in honesty
have sent the Majeres to the KoS if a better alternative existed.
> ><plenty of people qualified>
> >of course, we're talking from two books of doubtful canon status. And
> >probably they laughed at Uhoh because some ideas are just ridiculous.
>
> Liam wasn't exactly thrilled with the motley crew that opens up the Rose and
> the Skull.
the book with logic and canon violations unseen since The Companions?
I'm sure by comparison a Kharas or Laurana would've been given the key
to the executive dunny.
> >> Gunthar will win. He killed a boar all by himself, remember?
> >
> >when he was ninety at that. See above "canon status"
> I don't believe that one either, I'm just being annoying.
now, if you could help me with this experimental Ballistic Vest... I'll
just clip this card to your back and then you can start running.
> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
<High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> >it's got an enclosed room at the top. What more do you want?
>
> Electronic flushing, sinks, and a full length mirror.
that room's pretty big. Iwayhootsay and Iwayotevay of the Mt Nevermind
Guild of Plumbing and Hazardous Materials can do the infrastructure.
> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
> >> >bit of an angle for him, even (shit) full size
> >>
> >> I have faith in him.
> >
> >the sivak's found some prostitutes to kill by now
>
> You sure? He may have morphed into Spike by now.
nah, when I bumped Spike down to six lives he didn't look like me
> >> >> >> <Rohan, author>
> >> >> <explanation of Sword Character>
> >> >> >>
> >> <explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
> ><Sword, demon redeemed>
<let's kill some Indonesians>
> >everybody in the country wants to send in troops. If only *your*
> >country could apply the Kosovo rationale here...
>
> Looks unlikely. Word from Washington is that the US will pull out personnel
> and cease joint military maneuvers. Let me know when you enlist.
at this rate I may as well just drive up to Darwin, bundle some gear
into a watertight bag, and start swimming
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
> >> >> >> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
> >> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
> >> >
> >> >I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
> >>
> >> Collars have a habit of falling off. Here Bunsen, here pup....
> >
> >he's being followed by a variety of surveillance methods, incl keyhole
> >spysats.
>
> I guess I'll have to dissect him to find the transponder. And I really wanted
> a pet dog, too.
I've got a stash, but it wouldn't be nice to hurt my doggy
>
> >> >> >You and only you.
> >> >>
> >> >> How lovingly loyal.
> >> >
> >> >I will follow you wherever you may go
> >>
> >> There isn't an ocean to deep to keep you away?
> >
> >glub. qwertyuiop
>
> I guess I have my answer. Hope your clothes were wash and wear.
past tense is about right. *You* try swimming the Pacific in jeans and
a heavy cotton overshirt.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
> >> >vergin' on lobster
> >>
> >> I'll be sure to give her a shell cracker.
> >
> >related supplies are part of the deal
>
> Remember, it has to be toasty red with lots of butter.
napalm's thrown in at no extra cost
> >> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
> >> You'd better hope Gilean is not the god of choo-choos.
> >
> >oh, I've done a Reservoir Dogs on Reorx...
>
> He's got it coming, after being responsible for DoSF.
it was Paladine and fundamentally Gilean
> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
> >> >I'd probably better not directly threaten a specific person...
> >>
> >> This is the kind of thing where I can see the hat being passed around WotC,
> >per an alphabetized list.
> >
> >I'm doomed, aren't I?
>
> With the Hasbro deep pockets being tapped, I would say yes.
good thing you can get a gun easier than pizza in America then
<leave a light on for me>
> >> >what am I wearing then?
> >>
> >> An apprehensive grin.
> >
> >more like a Dirty Harry frown
>
> Go ahead, make my day.
there's a thought. Do you sing in the shower or should I wear Tabi?
> >> ><kiss me you fool>
> >> Still won't move things beyond the facial cheek, poopsie, especially since
> >that alone elicits gunfire.
> >
> >and the question for the day: is there a round under the hammer?
>
> Be sure your personnal effects are in order. I'll take Bunsen, if Simon
> doesn't want him.
gee, thanks. I didn't say which way I was pointing the gun
> ><splash>
<NY, NY>
> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
>
> Think of it as the obstacle course on American Gladiators.
ugh. We had an Aussie version of that
> >al dente disposal?
>
> Putting the bite into the last goodnight.
when you care you send the best
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
> >> >> >> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
> >if you haven't seen the t-shirt you don't know the reference. Blue.
>
> The eyes or the T-shirt?
eyes are blue, t-shirt's a quote from Rolling Stone iirc
> >> > I was talking more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves shaved...
> >> So shaving with a dwarf is your idea of a good time? You do have rather,
> >ahem, exotic tastes.
> >
> >that's not *quite* what I was getting at...
>
> I'm not sure what you're getting at, with all that talk about pubic
> electrolysis -- with a dwarf, no less.
getoutofmymind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >> >well, Sean had already roped in our friend Granak and he gave her an
> >> >ultimatum. He didn't tell me the response.
> >> Her? Granak is a woman?
> >
> >according to you Vee is female. If the answer was 'no', Granak
> >currently is.
>
> I think Vee and Granak would get along famously. Formerly renegade Sivak and
> currently renegade feline.
good point. But you're assuming I don't have anything on Granak...
> >> >> <British time keeping>
<in the navy>
> >HM*A*S. Similarly we've got the RAAF. Try saying HMNZS and RNZAF.
> >There are obvious national differences.
>
> But you'll have no Her Majesty, so what will the HM stand for?
they may have gotten legally technical, but any constitutional change
must be ratified by a majority of voters in a majority of states and all
affected states. Six states, all realistically affected. Possibly RAS
(Republic Australia Ship)?
> >> >> >I'll just get that NYPD uniform
> >>
> >> The traditional blue is much better than regional colors.
> >
> >I might join the navy and drop by in a sailor suit
>
> Eat lots of spinach -- you'll need it.
why pump iron when you can pump lead?
> >> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
> >> >which 'Dilbert' character are you?
> >>
> >> My guess is Dogbert.
> >
> >fetch the stick and don't get the burning, hissing bit in your mouth
>
> No that's what I gave to Bunsen when I sent him back home.
oh shit. So that's why I can't find him and we've got a new carpet.
> >
> >> >> > I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
> >> >> >retribution.
> >> >>
> >> >> Saliva isn't particularly painful.
> >> >
> >> >tongue, fists, whip... varying defns.
> >>
> >> <laughs> It looks like I'll have to teach you the correct one.
> >
> >come over here and say that
>
> When you wish upon a star ....
some smartarse nicks your car
> >
> ><dya need my bountiful flow of warmth?>
> >> >> Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me laugh on
> occasion.
> >> >
> >> >otherwise, pass the Prozac?
> >>
> >> As someone recently pointed out to me," just what could you and Tolstrup
> >> possibly talk about that can take 800 lines?"
> >
> >my plans to carve you up with a machete, put you through a mulcher and
> >get Spike, Bunsen, Gilbert and Vee together for a party
>
> Still trying to get under my skin, eh?
but you'd make such a nice outfit
> >> >> My boss is your clone? How'd you manage to add an extra "X" chromosome?
> >> >
> >> >we've got more than a single set of genes, otherwise how the hell do we
> >> >have parties?
> >>
> >> It's nice to know that you are in touch with your feminine side.
> >
> >I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!!!!!
> >
> >Hypothetically, were we able to choose gender...
>
> Maybe you are Tak's bastard son after all.
<sniffle>
<pillowing Altarielle>
> >> Good, that gives me a clear shot
> >
> >interesting intellectual connection there
>
> Glad you got it.
not my exact meaning
> >> >> >there are words for women like you...
> >> >>
> >> >> and they're chanted by my male worshippers three times a day as they
> >face NYC.
> >> >
> >> >not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
> >>
> >> No, the goddess of domination.
> >
> >!@#$%^&*(
>
> Face NYC when you say that, my pooh bear of profanity.
we're standing on a sphere
> >> >> >>And now I find out Cassii went and got engaged without telling me.
> >Grrr
> >> >> <spin>.
> >> >>
> >> >> >>Those are the breaks, pookie. A great one for Cass of course.
> >> >>
> >> >> >dammit! But both she and I know about Tuesday 17 November 1998...
> >> >>
> >> >> That Cass is a clever one, isn't she?
> >> >
> >> >she still won't admit I've got a geostationary satellite over her house
> >> >and I've rigged the local fauna with a/v hookup. What do you expect
> >> >from a man who gives explicit 'cover your tracks by making it look like
> >> >rape' murder instructions?
> >>
> >> I think the lack of passport, two continents, and two oceans is just as
> >> effective a deterrent to access Canada as it is to access the Northeastern
> >US.
> >
> >I've still got a passport, and why do you think Customs grabbed the 'Bob
> >Hefner' passport?
>
> No one will ever stamp a passport with a cut out picture of Alfred E Neuman on
> the first page.
my picture, edited to match my current appearance of course
> >> > >>oh, and if you see a man-sized rat walking around with a HK MP2000 and
> >a
> >> > >>big, poison-drippin' dagger, wave.
> >> >
> >> >> I will, right after I point Vee in your direction.
> >>
> >> <Wistful description of unlikely possiblility of Vee being suckered by a
> >> Wererat>
> >>
> >> It would have worked, if Vee weren't a descendant of Guenhwyvar, and if my
> >> worshippers aren't instructed to shadow the sacred cat at all times.
> >
> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>
> Gilbert would get the rodent before he dropped the grenade and shinnied.
but you forget, Sean has a sixth sense and can go ethereal instantly.
Plus he's got a lot of mates and several guns.
> >
> >Rohan "Pussyslayer" Tolstrup
>
> You need to have some to slay some, Koalataur.
oooooh that was nasty
Rohan "ronin" Tolstrup
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
><standard AD&D god defn assumed>
>><The standards may not apply to Krynnish gods>
>it fits, and the rule seems to be universal - every product I've seen
>dealing with gods at least hints that this is the case, especially the
>blooded nobles of BR and the sorceror-kings of DS.
It fit loosely -- Fizban was still pretty powerful without any worshippers,
even back in Chronicles.
>
>> >> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and
>> >decrease fear of the gods>
>it's arguable thar Raist and Fisty, being essentially the same person
>for this purpose, are totally unique. Huma arose only because Takhy had
>been so extreme, and Raist was *really* pushing the envelope. DL was
>(pre 2nd Gen) after all meant to be a world where there are maybe a half
>dozen people above 15th level active ever.
Fist and Raist may be the most famous of a powerful (albeit small) clique. The
Kingpriest, for example, also falls into the category of guy who could probably
take on a minion.
>> >> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
>> <the nice guy was framed because he was too popular>
>>
>> You can only make your old superior look bad only after you become his
>> superior.
>
>the Soviet model? I'd say he miscalculated and triggered paranoia
It's all in the phrasing as to whether a remark is considered helpful guidance
or a turf threat.
>
><carne humana football for fun and profit>
>> Severed, eh? Poor man, no wonder you have a self esteem problem.
>
>not as in a certain minister of religion
More like a certain carribean dictator -- he likes guns too, as I recall.
>>
>> >> >> >> <Mike Myers is one of Rohan's alternate personalities>
>> >> <Simon's too tall to play Mini-Me>
>> ><shave Bunsen?>
>> <It won't hurt to be Bigglesworth the Retriever>
<Like owner, like pup>
>gee, thanks.
It all comes from the heart.
>But I tend to be more of a rat in a cage.
You did say something once about running around in circles.
>> <SCA Knights enforce security>
>> >
<Weekend Video tips>
>
>> >> >> ><me a former wolf?>
>> <<Maybe, but you gobble like a turkey>
>> ><rack>. It's huntin' time!
>>
>> You said it. Thankksgiving's just around the corner.
>
>manifest destiny day? We save the turkey for Christmas, even though
>we're not actually religious.
Christmas is time for pernil (ham) for me. Mom's for Christmas, now that's
something to look forward to.
>And I've got a stunt double.
Simon's not a turkey, at least not per your description of him.
>
>> >> >> >> ><why topknots?>
>> >> >> ><one reason to keep hair outta beer>
>> >> >> <Kender fart perfume>
>> >> <Beer smell wins over fart stink any day>
>> >as kender are Greygem critters descended from either warped humans or
>> >elves, what would they think?
>>
>> Unless they descended from goblins, kender noses should still be normal.
>
>the Mars Attack school of cultural comparison
I don't think kender are descended from Terrence and Philip, either.
>
>> >> ><kender playing Kojak>
>> ><kender and guns>
>> >>
>> >> That'll make the kenders' day, as they borrow Dirty Harry blind.
>> >
>> >would you personally consider firing off a .44 Magnum? I know I
>> >wouldn't, and a kender would need to mount the thing.
>>
>> They'd borrow, not shoot. It may not make Harry's day, but it'll sure make
>> theirs.
>
>up there with the fourteen year-old girls bashing each other in a blow
>bar
Down there, in this instance. I prefer watching the jousts at the Renn Faire
in Stirling.
>
>> <Your money is funny, Koalataur>
>> >
>> >how droll. And I *do* have a passport. Just customs have the identity
>> >with frequent flier points
>>
>> Whatever you say.
>
>of course, I could be sitting across the road from you. It's night
>where you are when I type this, but I'm well-equipped.
Well equipped? I'll believe it when I see it.
>
>> >lynchin' Las Vegas...
>>
>> More like Las Vegas lynched them.
>
>*Casino* rocked.
Not a Sharon Stone fan. Although most casinos look the same after a while,
Caesar's did manage to rock.
>Beautiful hammer...
Strike unto thee.
>> ><stalking Altarielle>
>> >> ><whistle> Bunsen!
>> >>
>> >> Say goodbye, Bunsen.
>> >
>> >you're not going to hurt my puppy are you?
>>
>> Not much, no.
>
>I don't think he'd like that much (to quote Ricochet)
>
>> >> So we're talking John Candy here?
>> >
>> >not that large. Thanks for the ego deflation.
>>
>> I just asked the question. You did refer to 6 humans in that living Bible,
>you know.
>
>did I say *six*? Well, they're all calcium-deficient, so they fold up
>easily enough.
"Folds up easily enough?" <laughs> Lord, lead me not into temptation, but that
one was almost too good to pass up.
>
>> >you wouldn't really hurt my doggy would you?
>>
>> Nah. Bunsen would probably like it here in the States.
>
>haven't you got ten times as many sacred cows you can't chew up?
The cats guard those. And they're anxious for a good pup hunt.
>
><Snow Uth Matar>
>> >Snow should've embezzled from the dwarves to fund assassins
>>
>> She didn't have to -- she managed to con the huntsman.
>
>but would *you* want such a doofus working for you?
Beats some of the afflicted kender I have to deal with on a day to day basis.
>
><frisky kender>
>> >oh shit. But I've got several, one stashed in a filing cabinet marked
>> >'Tax Law.'
>>
>> The tax department paid me good money for that one.
>
>in dealing with kender, our judges make them copy the White Pages. I've
>taken exactly the same book (last year's) and hollowed it out.
And what do the judges make you do when you've been naughty? Tatoo "The
Soulforge is canon" on the palm of your left hand?
>
>> >> >no wonder Gilbert looks like Yoda. A 62" pianist?
>> >>
>> >> No, I have bigger (like 6') fish to fry than Gilbert. And even little
>kids can play the piano.
>> >
>> >I may be forced to tie you up and make you watch porn
>>
>> I prefer to learn biology from textbooks, thanks.
>
>er, don't know what came over me
That goddess aura of mine has unpredictable results sometimes.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><Caligula rocked>
>> >did her nanny get to drop the hammer?
>>
>> Soldiers dashed her brains against the wall.
>
>sounds satisfying, but I would've used a hatchet
The Lizzie Borden way would have opened you up to injury. Caligula apparently
had trained his daughter to be a little attack dog.
>
>> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
>> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
>>
>> Palanthians were accustomed to powerful aloof figures in residence like
>> Astinus, and had a diverse cosmopolitan make up.
>
>they still turfed the KoS and tried to torch the library. Point is,
>most cities have organised law and political interests who don't want
>mages freely present.
All mages, or mages who don't subscribe to their political interests?
>
>> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
>> <The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
>>
>> So you're basically giving me a good reason to marry and have children
>ASAP.
>
>oh shit. I was thinking I'd cark it during the shooting of a porno at
>my 40th, but whatever. I don't give a shit.
Now that's a little unexpected and depressing. I'd live to be as old as a
HotL, if it were within my power to ensure it.
>
>> >> <Altarielle doesn't believe in plastic surgery or excessive decoration>
>>
>> <Circumcision has been outlawed for the 18 and under set by the UN>
>>
>> >> Circumcision is good for men, it helps prevent infections.
>> >
>> >assuming they can't be taught to clean it? Let's expand the program to
>> >removal of outer labia and pubic electrolysis.
>>
>> Feel free to shave whatever the mood strikes you. It can only keep you
>> healthier.
>
>hmm. Actually, turns out to be *established Aussie law.* A High Court
>(paramount Oz court) case ruled irreversible, nontherapeutic operations
>require consent of child or, if incapable, the Family Court.
So what happens if the circumcision is a religious requirement? Will the Aussie
court intervene on a religious matter?
>>
>> >> >> <Eddings writes Fifth age style sorcery better than Rabe>
>> >> <Fire and Forget has its pluses and minuses, but a wizard should not
>have
>> >to "forget" spells he uses regularly>
>> ><'spell' is triggering a much longer hanging spell>
>> >> Let's wait for D&D 3 then.
>> >
>> >do you ever play Cyberpunk 2020?
>> No. But if you hum a few bars I can strum a few strings.
>
>the entire product line's held up by the 3rd edition being on hold, due
>to the Japanese govt foot-dragging on the licensing of another game.
>This means the conclusion to a world-changing three-part module series
>has yet to be published. I knew the 3rd ed was coming when I started
>playing in '97.
Now you know what all those Star Wars fans went through waiting for the Phantom
Menace.
>>
>> >> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
>> >> >I'm bait, you're lunch.
>> >>
>> >> Nope. I'm the bounty hunter, you're the bounty.
>> >
>> >or so you think
>>
>> Such sweet innocence.
>
>such sweet American pie
You can smell the aroma from Melbourne? That's some set of nostrils, since
that's not something I leave lying atop the windowsill.
>
<Rohan believes all celebrities are minions of Satan>
<There are some nice normal celebrities out there>
>
>aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhh. Certainly I haven't left many movies
>without the urge to kill.
Feel free to accost Ralph Bashki and George Lucas and give them a piece of your
mind.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><wanna come over?>
>> >> >> <Altarielle cooks only under duress and orders takeout when possible>
>> >> >> There are at least security cameras in some of those.
>> >> >
>> >> >yes, I installed them. Technology, you've gotta love it.
>> >>
>> >> Yes I do. I especially love to modify technology.
>> >
>> >so who's pulling a Speed on who?
>>
>> She who must be obeyed.
>
>you've been talking to my mother?
There are some questions about Norway that she wanted to get cleared up.
>
>> ><taking her out>
>> >> >> >'you' can send postcards
>> >> >>
>> >> >> She knows my handwriting.
>> >> >
>> >> >so will my computer after a few hours. You're not allergic to sodium
>> >> >penthothal are you?
>> >>
>> >> Immune is the word.
>> >
>> >and you were in the S.A.S. when?
>>
>> In one of my previous lifetimes.
>
>I suppose if you can implant one of your fertilised eggs in my mother in
>late 1977-early '78 (without timetravelling yourself) you can have been
>put through the S.A.S. interrogation course by some Reese type.
You still have some time. If I were to settle down and have a child, I'd like
my first born to be a daughter.
>
>> ><flipping off Crysania>
<The KoS disregarding Crysania would be like Luther defying the Pope>
>
>but Luther was himself a priest. It's a fair bet that Elistan's KoS
>converts (all professional soldiers) built the Order of the Sword from
>the ground up, and Crysania was clearly his foremost student.
It was a faith born more of miracles than of leadership. After the Chaos War,
Crysania was still around, but the KoS was losing faith, because the whizbang
of clerical magic was gone.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
>> ><explosive attire, underwear required>
<hugging the rock hard column>
>I'm not that egotistical. I mean what's holding the building up.
One pillar for an entire building? Wow.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <If Porthios meddles, Gunthar gets pissed.>
>> >> >> <Like the Measure, The Warsaw Pact was not a quick fix solution.>
>> >> <The Warsaw Pact at least delivered the UN to the world stage>
>> >> <Whitestone isn't hampered with the Security Council like the UN is>
><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
>> And it should be in everyone's interests, per your explanation that
>revising the Measure is in everyone's interests.
>
>a lot of this is based on logical deductions, on the basis that they are
>actually Lawful Good and serious about honour. Whitestone for me was a
>meeting of people with the same problem, although possibly based on an
>existing alliance (hence the elves and dwarves didn't vote)
I'd forgotten that the elves and the dwarves didn't vote. That means that any
influence that they could exert on changing the Measure, if they cared to do
so, would have been that much less effective.
>> ><Vietnam syndrome>
>> >US foreign policy was almost destroyed by Congress in reaction to
>> >Nixon's stunts
>>
>> WaterGate did Nixon in. China was his crowning glory.
>
>his foreign policy relied on both carrot and stick. Hardliners killed
>the carrot, bleeding hearts the stick. Linking trade concessions to
>letting Sov Jews emigrate to Israel succeeded in pissing off the 'second
>world' and gaining no results.
Linking it back to the KoS -- all of those political miscues did not matter, as
long as the US remained an effective cold war buffer. Similarly, no one cared
what the Knights did, as long as they were still going to support their allies.
>
<Sturm did not become an activist knights because he thought the HotL were
doing a better job of helping others>
>
>you'd think Sturm would've been more politically aware then. Somebody
>that honourable would've been a recruiting poster.
A man raised in a small backwater, who despised Raistlin as the "sly" one? Not
likely.
>
>> ><KoS as 1941 USMC>
>> <Gunthar opened the knighthood to women and non-Solamnics, but non-human
>races>> are not beating a path to his door>
>> >
>> >like the LoS, it should be an individual basis
>>
>> Eventually it will be, except that the idealogical requirement will remain.
>A
>> LoS and KoS merger has a better chance of success than the KoT merger did.
>
>as discussed earlier, the chosen path was that the KoT lose their
>honour, while IMC they lost their evil and joined forces against the
>goddess who had betrayed them.
>
>> >> <Tika would have talked up Sara and Gunthar to her sons before endorsing
>> other orders>
>> >
<Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and Rohan
disagrees>
>
Given Tanis' personal experience with the KoS and Gunthar, he would have
recommended it to Tanin and Sturm, even if Tanis had any personal issues with
the Measure, which I doubt. Tanis had a lot going on in his life to cloud it
with worry about constitutional changes to Solamnia. Until a better
organization is defined out there, all we have to deal with is the LoS, KoS,
and KoT, and KoS is still the best of the three.
>> ><plenty of people qualified>
>> >of course, we're talking from two books of doubtful canon status. And
>> >probably they laughed at Uhoh because some ideas are just ridiculous.
>>
>> Liam wasn't exactly thrilled with the motley crew that opens up the Rose
>and the Skull.
>
>the book with logic and canon violations unseen since The Companions?
>I'm sure by comparison a Kharas or Laurana would've been given the key
>to the executive dunny.
Someone did -- Valian -- and Liam made the offer. And the Odyssey of Gilthanas
does go into detail about Linsha's vision, and how it revitalized the
demoralized Knighthood.
>
>> >> Gunthar will win. He killed a boar all by himself, remember?
>> >
>> >when he was ninety at that. See above "canon status"
>> I don't believe that one either, I'm just being annoying.
>
>now, if you could help me with this experimental Ballistic Vest... I'll
>just clip this card to your back and then you can start running.
Sure thing. Just let me get a firmer grip on Bunsen's collar.
>
>> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
>> >it's got an enclosed room at the top. What more do you want?
>>
>> Electronic flushing, sinks, and a full length mirror.
>
>that room's pretty big. Iwayhootsay and Iwayotevay of the Mt Nevermind
>Guild of Plumbing and Hazardous Materials can do the infrastructure.
And who the heck wants to use a toilet that Morgion's sat on? Or Chemosh?
>> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
>> >> >bit of an angle for him, even (shit) full size
>> >>
>> >> I have faith in him.
>> >
>> >the sivak's found some prostitutes to kill by now
>>
>> You sure? He may have morphed into Spike by now.
>
>nah, when I bumped Spike down to six lives he didn't look like me
>
>> >> >> >> <Rohan, author>
>> >> >> <explanation of Sword Character>
>> >> >> >>
>> >> <explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
>> ><Sword, demon redeemed>
><let's kill some Indonesians>
>> >everybody in the country wants to send in troops. If only *your*
>> >country could apply the Kosovo rationale here...
>>
>> Looks unlikely. Word from Washington is that the US will pull out
>personnel and cease joint military maneuvers. Let me know when you enlist.
>
>at this rate I may as well just drive up to Darwin, bundle some gear
>into a watertight bag, and start swimming
You'd better do it before the submarines arrive. Someone's going to start
interfering down there eventually.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
>> >> >> >> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
>> >> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>> >> >
>> >> >I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
>> >>
>> >> Collars have a habit of falling off. Here Bunsen, here pup....
>> >
>> >he's being followed by a variety of surveillance methods, incl keyhole
>> >spysats.
>>
>> I guess I'll have to dissect him to find the transponder. And I really
>wanted a pet dog, too.
>
>I've got a stash, but it wouldn't be nice to hurt my doggy
A stash of puppies? Bunsen's a father?
>>
>> >> >> >You and only you.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> How lovingly loyal.
>> >> >
>> >> >I will follow you wherever you may go
>> >>
>> >> There isn't an ocean to deep to keep you away?
>> >
>> >glub. qwertyuiop
>>
>> I guess I have my answer. Hope your clothes were wash and wear.
>
>past tense is about right. *You* try swimming the Pacific in jeans and
>a heavy cotton overshirt.
No, soggy is not fun. Sun and splashing is fun. That's the nasty thing about
Phoenix -- I've got a great tan, but I had absolutely no fun getting it, and
felt pretty crinkly the whole time.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
>> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>> >> >vergin' on lobster
>> >>
>> >> I'll be sure to give her a shell cracker.
>> >
>> >related supplies are part of the deal
>>
>> Remember, it has to be toasty red with lots of butter.
>
>napalm's thrown in at no extra cost
You've got to let her catch it and shell it first. Vee is a do it yourself
type of cat.
>
>> >> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
>> >> You'd better hope Gilean is not the god of choo-choos.
>> >
>> >oh, I've done a Reservoir Dogs on Reorx...
>>
>> He's got it coming, after being responsible for DoSF.
>
>it was Paladine and fundamentally Gilean
The Greygem was Reorx's faux pas. Granted, Paladine and Gilean are not
innocent, but they were cleaning up Reorx's mess.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
>> >> >I'd probably better not directly threaten a specific person...
>> >>
>> >> This is the kind of thing where I can see the hat being passed around
>WotC, per an alphabetized list.
>> >
>> >I'm doomed, aren't I?
>>
>> With the Hasbro deep pockets being tapped, I would say yes.
>
>good thing you can get a gun easier than pizza in America then
You'll certainly get it easier than my American pie.
>
><leave a light on for me>
>> >> >what am I wearing then?
>> >>
>> >> An apprehensive grin.
>> >
>> >more like a Dirty Harry frown
>>
>> Go ahead, make my day.
>
>there's a thought. Do you sing in the shower or should I wear Tabi?
On occasion, I warble a tune or two. Even if you aren't a soprano now, I can
almost guarantee that I'll get you to hit a high C or two before I'm through.
>
>> >> ><kiss me you fool>
>> >> Still won't move things beyond the facial cheek, poopsie, especially
>since that alone elicits gunfire.
>> >
>> >and the question for the day: is there a round under the hammer?
>>
>> Be sure your personnal effects are in order. I'll take Bunsen, if Simon
>> doesn't want him.
>
>gee, thanks.
I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about Bunsen when Satan
comes go collect his Leaves II payment.
> I didn't say which way I was pointing the gun
All it takes is another peck on the cheek and it will be pointed right back at
you.
>
>> ><splash>
><NY, NY>
>> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
>>
>> Think of it as the obstacle course on American Gladiators.
>
>ugh. We had an Aussie version of that
Hopefully it's dead in all its incarnations. It's G-rated wrestling, and about
as believable.
>
>> >al dente disposal?
>>
>> Putting the bite into the last goodnight.
>
>when you care you send the best
;-)
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
>> >if you haven't seen the t-shirt you don't know the reference. Blue.
>>
>> The eyes or the T-shirt?
>
>eyes are blue, t-shirt's a quote from Rolling Stone iirc
Haven't seen the T-shirt (or the eyes, for that matter).
>
>> >> > I was talking more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves
>shaved...
>> >> So shaving with a dwarf is your idea of a good time? You do have
>rather, ahem, exotic tastes.
>> >
>> >that's not *quite* what I was getting at...
>>
>> I'm not sure what you're getting at, with all that talk about pubic
>> electrolysis -- with a dwarf, no less.
>
>getoutofmymind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why? It's roomier in here than my 6 room apartment. I think there's even
space her for a cat room for Vee and Gilbert.
>>
>> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> >> >well, Sean had already roped in our friend Granak and he gave her an
>> >> >ultimatum. He didn't tell me the response.
>> >> Her? Granak is a woman?
>> >
>> >according to you Vee is female. If the answer was 'no', Granak
>> >currently is.
>>
>> I think Vee and Granak would get along famously. Formerly renegade Sivak
>and currently renegade feline.
>
>good point. But you're assuming I don't have anything on Granak...
Granak has all those gnome inventions at his disposal, though.
>
>> >> >> <British time keeping>
><in the navy>
<what will HM be replaced with?>
>they may have gotten legally technical, but any constitutional change
>must be ratified by a majority of voters in a majority of states and all
>affected states. Six states, all realistically affected. Possibly RAS
>(Republic Australia Ship)?
That works. I don't remember -- is the Queen officially off of Aussie
currency?
>
>> >> >> >I'll just get that NYPD uniform
>> >>
>> >> The traditional blue is much better than regional colors.
>> >
>> >I might join the navy and drop by in a sailor suit
>>
>> Eat lots of spinach -- you'll need it.
>
>why pump iron when you can pump lead?
Because that assumes that you will have a functioning pumping mechanism at
hand.
>> >> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
>> >> >which 'Dilbert' character are you?
>> >>
>> >> My guess is Dogbert.
>> >
>> >fetch the stick and don't get the burning, hissing bit in your mouth
>>
>> No that's what I gave to Bunsen when I sent him back home.
>
>oh shit. So that's why I can't find him and we've got a new carpet.
You could turn him into gloves and matching earmuffs, so won't catch another
cold.
>> >
>> >> >> > I may be forced to come and give you a few licks in
>> >> >> >retribution.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Saliva isn't particularly painful.
>> >> >
>> >> >tongue, fists, whip... varying defns.
>> >>
>> >> <laughs> It looks like I'll have to teach you the correct one.
>> >
>> >come over here and say that
>>
>> When you wish upon a star ....
>
>some smartarse nicks your car
Good job, Vee.
>> >
>> ><dya need my bountiful flow of warmth?>
>> >> >> Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me
laugh on occasion.
>> >> >
>> >> >otherwise, pass the Prozac?
>> >>
>> >> As someone recently pointed out to me," just what could you and Tolstrup
>> >> possibly talk about that can take 800 lines?"
>> >
>> >my plans to carve you up with a machete, put you through a mulcher and
>> >get Spike, Bunsen, Gilbert and Vee together for a party
>>
>> Still trying to get under my skin, eh?
>
>but you'd make such a nice outfit
Wearing it, you'll certainly be asked out more -- to the sanitarium, the
prison, the courtroom...
>
>> >> >> My boss is your clone? How'd you manage to add an extra "X"
>chromosome?
>> >> >
>> >> >we've got more than a single set of genes, otherwise how the hell do we
>> >> >have parties?
>> >>
>> >> It's nice to know that you are in touch with your feminine side.
>> >
>> >I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!!!!!
>> >
>> >Hypothetically, were we able to choose gender...
>>
>> Maybe you are Tak's bastard son after all.
>
><sniffle>
<passes handkerchief> Make her take the blood test and then hit her up for all
those years in back support.
>
><pillowing Altarielle>
>> >> Good, that gives me a clear shot
>> >
>> >interesting intellectual connection there
>>
>> Glad you got it.
>
>not my exact meaning
which is?
>
>> >> >> >there are words for women like you...
>> >> >>
>> >> >> and they're chanted by my male worshippers three times a day as they
>> >face NYC.
>> >> >
>> >> >not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
>> >>
>> >> No, the goddess of domination.
>> >
>> >!@#$%^&*(
>>
>> Face NYC when you say that, my pooh bear of profanity.
>
>we're standing on a sphere
On your knees in the general direction will suffice.
>
<Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in Melbourne>
>> >I've still got a passport, and why do you think Customs grabbed the 'Bob
>> >Hefner' passport?
>>
>> No one will ever stamp a passport with a cut out picture of Alfred E Neuman
>on the first page.
>
>my picture, edited to match my current appearance of course
6' kittens get passports?
>
>> >> <Wistful description of unlikely possiblility of Vee being suckered by a
>> >> Wererat>
>> >>
>> >> It would have worked, if Vee weren't a descendant of Guenhwyvar, and if
>my worshippers aren't instructed to shadow the sacred cat at all times.
>> >
>> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>>
>> Gilbert would get the rodent before he dropped the grenade and shinnied.
>
>but you forget, Sean has a sixth sense and can go ethereal instantly.
>Plus he's got a lot of mates and several guns.
If he can go ethereal, a 99 cent battery operated fan should be enough to
scatter him into the East River. I'll let my fan club deal with rat's camp
followers.
>> >
>> >Rohan "Pussyslayer" Tolstrup
>>
>> You need to have some to slay some, Koalataur.
>
>oooooh that was nasty
Thanks. I am to please.
Tolstrup
> >><The standards may not apply to Krynnish gods>
> even back in Chronicles.
a god can beat a mortal any day, and I've been going on the assumption
that actions speak louder than words - just that people are more likely
to perform the actions which empower gods within a worship framework.
Essentially it's like a really good restaurant; without advertising the
patronage is small and select (Sturm etc), but if everybody knows about
it gets homogenised.
> >
> >> >> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and
> >> >decrease fear of the gods>
> Fist and Raist may be the most famous of a powerful (albeit small) clique. The
> Kingpriest, for example, also falls into the category of guy who could probably
> take on a minion.
it'd take even the Kingpriest ages to waste such a bastard, and by then
the REAL gods have taken a second out of their eternal gun battle for a
kind of 'SHUT UP!' unanimous blast
> >> >> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
> >> <the nice guy was framed because he was too popular>
> It's all in the phrasing as to whether a remark is considered helpful guidance
> or a turf threat.
Anwar iirc was trying to fix the economy (probably IMF-style)
> ><carne humana football for fun and profit>
> >> Severed, eh? Poor man, no wonder you have a self esteem problem.
> More like a certain carribean dictator -- he likes guns too, as I recall.
lost me there. I presume you mean Castro, who's on record as having
lead in his pencil
<don't hurt my doggy!>
> >gee, thanks.
>
> It all comes from the heart.
<RRRRIIIIPPP!!!>
>
> >But I tend to be more of a rat in a cage.
>
> You did say something once about running around in circles.
well, Sean would blackmail a researcher into letting him out - or just
hit his Crinos form and burst the bloody thing. Me? All the time.
> >> You said it. Thankksgiving's just around the corner.
> >
> >manifest destiny day? We save the turkey for Christmas, even though
> >we're not actually religious.
>
> Christmas is time for pernil (ham) for me. Mom's for Christmas, now that's
> something to look forward to.
ooh yeah. Having been in DC for Thanksgiving '97 I was impressed by
what was available at the buffet and even got to eat some (we were at
the JW Marriott and the waiters hadn't worked out that at buffets people
didn't abandon tables). But chicken pot pie sucks.
>
> >And I've got a stunt double.
>
> Simon's not a turkey, at least not per your description of him.
Simon doesn't look like me, either. Physically we take after one parent
each, and he's obviously related to Mum.
> >the Mars Attack school of cultural comparison
>
> I don't think kender are descended from Terrence and Philip, either.
"BLAME KENDERMORE"
<making days>
> >up there with the fourteen year-old girls bashing each other in a blow
> >bar
>
> Down there, in this instance. I prefer watching the jousts at the Renn Faire
> in Stirling.
do you let off remote-control firecrackers on the ground randomly?
> >of course, I could be sitting across the road from you. It's night
> >where you are when I type this, but I'm well-equipped.
>
> Well equipped? I'll believe it when I see it.
my thermograph tells me that 'hot-blooded' isn't just a metaphor here
> >*Casino* rocked.
>
> Not a Sharon Stone fan. Although most casinos look the same after a while,
> Caesar's did manage to rock.
can't stand her myself. I loved the situation with De Niro and Pesci.
>
> >Beautiful hammer...
> Strike unto thee.
hammers are in the same league as carving knives and hatchets :)
> >did I say *six*? Well, they're all calcium-deficient, so they fold up
> >easily enough.
>
> "Folds up easily enough?" <laughs> Lord, lead me not into temptation, but that
> one was almost too good to pass up.
can I recommend Nothing Personal, complete with a cool body disposal
scene?
> >haven't you got ten times as many sacred cows you can't chew up?
>
> The cats guard those. And they're anxious for a good pup hunt.
so you'd abuse poor Bunsen then. I'm told people are ultra-serious
about little league
> ><Snow Uth Matar>
> >but would *you* want such a doofus working for you?
>
> Beats some of the afflicted kender I have to deal with on a day to day basis.
but this bloke goes on the assumption she's too cute/innocent to kill
> ><frisky kender>
> >in dealing with kender, our judges make them copy the White Pages. I've
> >taken exactly the same book (last year's) and hollowed it out.
>
> And what do the judges make you do when you've been naughty? Tatoo "The
> Soulforge is canon" on the palm of your left hand?
maybe I made it sound a bit formal. Kender never get to court around
here. That's what is called torture, banned by convention. And my
presence here has a lot to do with court orders anyway.
> >> I prefer to learn biology from textbooks, thanks.
> >
> >er, don't know what came over me
>
> That goddess aura of mine has unpredictable results sometimes.
iwantababy
<Julia, son of Caligula>
> >> Soldiers dashed her brains against the wall.
> >
> >sounds satisfying, but I would've used a hatchet
>
> The Lizzie Borden way would have opened you up to injury. Caligula apparently
> had trained his daughter to be a little attack dog.
I was also thinking of the execution machine - bury a dozen of 'em in
sand up to their necks and then have a clockwork scythe randomly travel
around the enclosed area
> >> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
> >> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
> >they still turfed the KoS and tried to torch the library. Point is,
> >most cities have organised law and political interests who don't want
> >mages freely present.
>
> All mages, or mages who don't subscribe to their political interests?
if they can't control them they don't want 'em around. Only Nostradamus
types would be an exception
> >> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
> >> <The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
> >>
> >> So you're basically giving me a good reason to marry and have children
> >ASAP.
> >
> >oh shit. I was thinking I'd cark it during the shooting of a porno at
> >my 40th, but whatever. I don't give a shit.
>
> Now that's a little unexpected and depressing. I'd live to be as old as a
> HotL, if it were within my power to ensure it.
well, we've just established that I'm not allowed to live to 41
(although you'd also need to dump my ashes into the sun - otoh, the
dragon orb is a good question...)
> >> >> <Altarielle doesn't believe in plastic surgery or excessive decoration>
> >hmm. Actually, turns out to be *established Aussie law.* A High Court
> >(paramount Oz court) case ruled irreversible, nontherapeutic operations
> >require consent of child or, if incapable, the Family Court.
>
> So what happens if the circumcision is a religious requirement? Will the Aussie
> court intervene on a religious matter?
currently the enforcement agencies just ignore the law. Hmm, we'd
better chop off butt cheeks as well.
> >> >do you ever play Cyberpunk 2020?
> >> No. But if you hum a few bars I can strum a few strings.
> >
> >the entire product line's held up by the 3rd edition being on hold, due
> >to the Japanese govt foot-dragging on the licensing of another game.
> >This means the conclusion to a world-changing three-part module series
> >has yet to be published. I knew the 3rd ed was coming when I started
> >playing in '97.
>
> Now you know what all those Star Wars fans went through waiting for the Phantom
> Menace.
they made the film pretty soon after announcing it, didn't they?
Certainly TPM didn't hold up an entire product line.
> >> >> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
> >> Such sweet innocence.
> >
> >such sweet American pie
>
> You can smell the aroma from Melbourne? That's some set of nostrils, since
> that's not something I leave lying atop the windowsill.
muhahahahaha
> >
> <Rohan believes all celebrities are minions of Satan>
> <There are some nice normal celebrities out there>
> >
> >aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhh. Certainly I haven't left many movies
> >without the urge to kill.
>
> Feel free to accost Ralph Bashki and George Lucas and give them a piece of your
> mind.
my piece, their minds...
> >> >so who's pulling a Speed on who?
> >>
> >> She who must be obeyed.
> >
> >you've been talking to my mother?
>
> There are some questions about Norway that she wanted to get cleared up.
so the real reason Dad and Bunsen have taken her down to the beachhouse
is to whack her and feed her to the penguins?
> >> >and you were in the S.A.S. when?
> >>
> >> In one of my previous lifetimes.
> >
> >I suppose if you can implant one of your fertilised eggs in my mother in
> >late 1977-early '78 (without timetravelling yourself) you can have been
> >put through the S.A.S. interrogation course by some Reese type.
>
> You still have some time. If I were to settle down and have a child, I'd like
> my first born to be a daughter.
'time' is relative. Either way I'm doomed here - although maybe I could
give myself a bit longer by going back to '68 or whenever and arranging
for your future mother to get locked up for ten years...
> >> ><flipping off Crysania>
> <The KoS disregarding Crysania would be like Luther defying the Pope>
> >
> >but Luther was himself a priest. It's a fair bet that Elistan's KoS
> >converts (all professional soldiers) built the Order of the Sword from
> >the ground up, and Crysania was clearly his foremost student.
>
> It was a faith born more of miracles than of leadership. After the Chaos War,
> Crysania was still around, but the KoS was losing faith, because the whizbang
> of clerical magic was gone.
I thought they deliberately de-emphasised the spell side of it. For the
KoS to win the war, they had to be serious about following Paladine.
> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
>
> >> ><explosive attire, underwear required>
> <hugging the rock hard column>
>
> >I'm not that egotistical. I mean what's holding the building up.
>
> One pillar for an entire building? Wow.
little lesson in engineering: one pillar alone will not hold up a
building. However, destroy one of several pillars and the building will
collapse.
> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
> >> And it should be in everyone's interests, per your explanation that
> >revising the Measure is in everyone's interests.
> >
> >a lot of this is based on logical deductions, on the basis that they are
> >actually Lawful Good and serious about honour. Whitestone for me was a
> >meeting of people with the same problem, although possibly based on an
> >existing alliance (hence the elves and dwarves didn't vote)
>
> I'd forgotten that the elves and the dwarves didn't vote. That means that any
> influence that they could exert on changing the Measure, if they cared to do
> so, would have been that much less effective.
this was simply a conference before the alliance. Whitestone was not a
perpetual council, just an ad-hoc summit with temporary rules. imo
Tanis and Laurana were trying to set up something viable.
>
> >> ><Vietnam syndrome>
> >his foreign policy relied on both carrot and stick. Hardliners killed
> >the carrot, bleeding hearts the stick. Linking trade concessions to
> >letting Sov Jews emigrate to Israel succeeded in pissing off the 'second
> >world' and gaining no results.
>
> Linking it back to the KoS -- all of those political miscues did not matter, as
> long as the US remained an effective cold war buffer. Similarly, no one cared
> what the Knights did, as long as they were still going to support their allies.
there's more than one conspiracy theory saying that Gough Whitlam was
effectively sacked by the CIA.
> <Sturm did not become an activist knights because he thought the HotL were
> doing a better job of helping others>
> A man raised in a small backwater, who despised Raistlin as the "sly" one? Not
> likely.
yeah, I guess Crownguard was better at 'do as I say.' But he could
quickly have become a charismatic leader of KoS who cared.
> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and Rohan
> disagrees>
> >
> Given Tanis' personal experience with the KoS and Gunthar, he would have
> recommended it to Tanin and Sturm, even if Tanis had any personal issues with
> the Measure, which I doubt. Tanis had a lot going on in his life to cloud it
> with worry about constitutional changes to Solamnia. Until a better
> organization is defined out there, all we have to deal with is the LoS, KoS,
> and KoT, and KoS is still the best of the three.
seems that they're suddenly trying to come up with unsatisfactory
reasons why the LoS is better. Bastards.
> >the book with logic and canon violations unseen since The Companions?
> >I'm sure by comparison a Kharas or Laurana would've been given the key
> >to the executive dunny.
>
> Someone did -- Valian -- and Liam made the offer. And the Odyssey of Gilthanas
> does go into detail about Linsha's vision, and how it revitalized the
> demoralized Knighthood.
if that book includes a bad attempt to make up for the ludicrous gap
left by the 5A box and Legacy of Steel, should I be interested?
> >now, if you could help me with this experimental Ballistic Vest... I'll
> >just clip this card to your back and then you can start running.
>
> Sure thing. Just let me get a firmer grip on Bunsen's collar.
he's at Philip Island, possibly chasing penguins
> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> >> >it's got an enclosed room at the top. What more do you want?
> >>
> >> Electronic flushing, sinks, and a full length mirror.
> >
> >that room's pretty big. Iwayhootsay and Iwayotevay of the Mt Nevermind
> >Guild of Plumbing and Hazardous Materials can do the infrastructure.
>
> And who the heck wants to use a toilet that Morgion's sat on? Or Chemosh?
good aligned deities only, although it's possible Kiri-Jolith has
hygiene issues, Habbakuk tracks in water, Mishakal drips blood all over
the place and Paladine shifts between fall-in Fizban and obliterating
Platinum Dragon...
<Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
> >> >> >> >> <Rohan, author>
> >> >> >> <explanation of Sword Character>
> >> >> <explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
> >> ><Sword, demon redeemed>
> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
> >at this rate I may as well just drive up to Darwin, bundle some gear
> >into a watertight bag, and start swimming
>
> You'd better do it before the submarines arrive. Someone's going to start
> interfering down there eventually.
either the force is fighting the Indonesian govt or half the military.
I'm not sure whether they'd be fighting more troops if it was full war.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Koalataur is salivating>
> >> >> >> >> >> ><appointment in Tooradin>
> >> >> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
> >> >> >I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
> >> >> Collars have a habit of falling off. Here Bunsen, here pup....
> >> >he's being followed by a variety of surveillance methods, incl keyhole
> >> >spysats.
> >> I guess I'll have to dissect him to find the transponder. And I really
> >wanted a pet dog, too.
> >I've got a stash, but it wouldn't be nice to hurt my doggy
>
> A stash of puppies? Bunsen's a father?
nah. Physically impossible. Remember, I've got several identical labs.
> >> I guess I have my answer. Hope your clothes were wash and wear.
> >
> >past tense is about right. *You* try swimming the Pacific in jeans and
> >a heavy cotton overshirt.
>
> No, soggy is not fun. Sun and splashing is fun. That's the nasty thing about
> Phoenix -- I've got a great tan, but I had absolutely no fun getting it, and
> felt pretty crinkly the whole time.
I'm solarphobic. Of course, you've never actually *seen* the sun
before, so it's different. I've been paranoid about skin cancer for
most of my life.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
> >> Remember, it has to be toasty red with lots of butter.
> >
> >napalm's thrown in at no extra cost
>
> You've got to let her catch it and shell it first. Vee is a do it yourself
> type of cat.
Vee is curry
> >> >> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
<Reservoir Gods>
> The Greygem was Reorx's faux pas. Granted, Paladine and Gilean are not
> innocent, but they were cleaning up Reorx's mess.
wasn't it Hiddukel who screwed up? Gilean failed to carry out his duty.
> >> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
> >> >I'm doomed, aren't I?
> >>
> >> With the Hasbro deep pockets being tapped, I would say yes.
> >
> >good thing you can get a gun easier than pizza in America then
>
> You'll certainly get it easier than my American pie.
but with one you can get another...
> ><leave a light on for me>
> >> Go ahead, make my day.
> >
> >there's a thought. Do you sing in the shower or should I wear Tabi?
>
> On occasion, I warble a tune or two. Even if you aren't a soprano now, I can
> almost guarantee that I'll get you to hit a high C or two before I'm through.
I'd better bring a friend and protection
> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
> >> >> Still won't move things beyond the facial cheek, poopsie, especially
> >since that alone elicits gunfire.
> >> >
> >> >and the question for the day: is there a round under the hammer?
> >>
> >> Be sure your personnal effects are in order. I'll take Bunsen, if Simon
> >> doesn't want him.
> >
> >gee, thanks.
>
> I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about Bunsen when Satan
> comes go collect his Leaves II payment.
I'd rather not repeat what I did to get into Leaves II. I feel dirty.
> > I didn't say which way I was pointing the gun
>
> All it takes is another peck on the cheek and it will be pointed right back at
> you.
mind over matter? Obscene reach for a woman ten inches shorter?
> >> ><splash>
> ><NY, NY>
> >> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
> >>
> >> Think of it as the obstacle course on American Gladiators.
> >
> >ugh. We had an Aussie version of that
>
> Hopefully it's dead in all its incarnations. It's G-rated wrestling, and about
> as believable.
it died, but unfortunately after permeating our culture.
> >> >al dente disposal?
> >>
> >> Putting the bite into the last goodnight.
> >
> >when you care you send the best
>
> ;-)
before you kill me, can I give my acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace
Prize?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Altarielle Ironfoundersson?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Discworld reference explanation>
> >> >if you haven't seen the t-shirt you don't know the reference. Blue.
> >>
> >> The eyes or the T-shirt?
> >
> >eyes are blue, t-shirt's a quote from Rolling Stone iirc
>
> Haven't seen the T-shirt (or the eyes, for that matter).
America being *that* censored I suppose... I'd better not send you fotos
> >> >> > I was talking more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves
> >shaved...
> >> >> So shaving with a dwarf is your idea of a good time? You do have
> >rather, ahem, exotic tastes.
> >> >
> >> >that's not *quite* what I was getting at...
> >>
> >> I'm not sure what you're getting at, with all that talk about pubic
> >> electrolysis -- with a dwarf, no less.
> >
> >getoutofmymind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Why? It's roomier in here than my 6 room apartment. I think there's even
> space her for a cat room for Vee and Gilbert.
sure you've got the right head? I'm more worried about you and what you
might come across in there.
> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >> I think Vee and Granak would get along famously. Formerly renegade Sivak
> >and currently renegade feline.
> >
> >good point. But you're assuming I don't have anything on Granak...
>
> Granak has all those gnome inventions at his disposal, though.
and I'm the gnomes' union boss
> >> >> >> <British time keeping>
> ><in the navy>
> <what will HM be replaced with?>
>
> >they may have gotten legally technical, but any constitutional change
> >must be ratified by a majority of voters in a majority of states and all
> >affected states. Six states, all realistically affected. Possibly RAS
> >(Republic Australia Ship)?
>
> That works. I don't remember -- is the Queen officially off of Aussie
> currency?
currently she's on all coins and the $5 note (lowest denom note).
She'll probably stay on the five regardless, as she's simply being used
as a prominent likeness rather than official seal.
> >> >I might join the navy and drop by in a sailor suit
> >>
> >> Eat lots of spinach -- you'll need it.
> >
> >why pump iron when you can pump lead?
>
> Because that assumes that you will have a functioning pumping mechanism at
> hand.
but remember, I've also got NYPD ID and know how to use it
> >> >> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
> >> >> >which 'Dilbert' character are you?
> >> >>
> >> >> My guess is Dogbert.
> >> >
> >> >fetch the stick and don't get the burning, hissing bit in your mouth
> >>
> >> No that's what I gave to Bunsen when I sent him back home.
> >
> >oh shit. So that's why I can't find him and we've got a new carpet.
>
> You could turn him into gloves and matching earmuffs, so won't catch another
> cold.
I'd say about enough to upholster an office chair
> >> >come over here and say that
> >>
> >> When you wish upon a star ....
> >
> >some smartarse nicks your car
>
> Good job, Vee.
soon she'll find it's one of those cars in RoboCop.
> >> ><dya need my bountiful flow of warmth?>
> >> >> >> Somewhat. That singular sense of humor also managed to make me
> laugh on occasion.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >otherwise, pass the Prozac?
> >> >>
> >> >> As someone recently pointed out to me," just what could you and Tolstrup
> >> >> possibly talk about that can take 800 lines?"
> >> >
> >> >my plans to carve you up with a machete, put you through a mulcher and
> >> >get Spike, Bunsen, Gilbert and Vee together for a party
> >>
> >> Still trying to get under my skin, eh?
> >
> >but you'd make such a nice outfit
>
> Wearing it, you'll certainly be asked out more -- to the sanitarium, the
> prison, the courtroom...
you're strictly for special occasions, like when no cops are around
> >> >> It's nice to know that you are in touch with your feminine side.
> >> >
> >> >I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!!!!!
> >> >
> >> >Hypothetically, were we able to choose gender...
> >>
> >> Maybe you are Tak's bastard son after all.
> >
> ><sniffle>
>
> <passes handkerchief> Make her take the blood test and then hit her up for all
> those years in back support.
I think she'd be pretty good at falsifying evidence...
> ><pillowing Altarielle>
> >> >> Good, that gives me a clear shot
> >> >
> >> >interesting intellectual connection there
> >>
> >> Glad you got it.
> >
> >not my exact meaning
>
> which is?
I'd probably better let you remain blissfully innocent
> >> >> >not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
> >> >>
> >> >> No, the goddess of domination.
> >> >
> >> >!@#$%^&*(
> >>
> >> Face NYC when you say that, my pooh bear of profanity.
> >
> >we're standing on a sphere
>
> On your knees in the general direction will suffice.
my rifle position is prone
> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in Melbourne>
>
> >> >I've still got a passport, and why do you think Customs grabbed the 'Bob
> >> >Hefner' passport?
> >>
> >> No one will ever stamp a passport with a cut out picture of Alfred E Neuman
> >on the first page.
> >
> >my picture, edited to match my current appearance of course
>
> 6' kittens get passports?
I at least appear human
> >> >> <Wistful description of unlikely possiblility of Vee being suckered by a
> >> >> Wererat>
> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
> >>
> >> Gilbert would get the rodent before he dropped the grenade and shinnied.
> >
> >but you forget, Sean has a sixth sense and can go ethereal instantly.
> >Plus he's got a lot of mates and several guns.
>
> If he can go ethereal, a 99 cent battery operated fan should be enough to
> scatter him into the East River. I'll let my fan club deal with rat's camp
> followers.
fan's on a different plane of existence. I meant 'mates' in the Aussie
term - Kit the npc rat might not mind, but Eric Wolf and Amanda, Get of
Fenris, might take umbrage. And between us we nearly wiped out the
local police force in our Alaskan town.
> >> >Rohan "Pussyslayer" Tolstrup
> >>
> >> You need to have some to slay some, Koalataur.
> >
> >oooooh that was nasty
>
> Thanks. I am to please.
could you please stand a little closer to that light?
Rohan Tolstrup, Prince of Darkness
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> ><standard AD&D god defn assumed>
>> >><The standards may not apply to Krynnish gods>
>> It fit loosely -- Fizban was still pretty powerful without any worshippers,
>> even back in Chronicles.
>
>a god can beat a mortal any day, and I've been going on the assumption
>that actions speak louder than words - just that people are more likely
>to perform the actions which empower gods within a worship framework.
>Essentially it's like a really good restaurant; without advertising the
>patronage is small and select (Sturm etc), but if everybody knows about
>it gets homogenised.
So if I understand what you're saying, the gods are feasting off of
unsuspecting mortals in the period after the first Cataclysm? But how do you
explain where the gods got their powers before the creation of Krynn? They had
to be at optimum strength to create a world.
>> >
>> >> >> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and
>> >> >decrease fear of the gods>
>it'd take even the Kingpriest ages to waste such a bastard, and by then
>the REAL gods have taken a second out of their eternal gun battle for a
>kind of 'SHUT UP!' unanimous blast
Like the Cataclysm? The Kingpriest thought nothing of reshaping the worship of
Paladine to his will, so he'd embark on an even greater scheme of powergrabbing
if he knows Paladine isn't even giving Krynn his full attention. Either the
minions become demigod tyrants, tipping over the Balance, or they become
"Mini-Me" versions of their patrons, engaging in their own personal vendettas
while the gods are busy elsewhere. It would take more than one earthshattering
event like the Cataclysm to undo the damage.
>> >> >> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
>> >> <the nice guy was framed because he was too popular>
>> It's all in the phrasing as to whether a remark is considered helpful
>guidance or a turf threat.
>
>Anwar iirc was trying to fix the economy (probably IMF-style)
If he implied that the problem was his boss' fault he signed his own warrant.
>
<Fidel Tolstrup>
>lost me there. I presume you mean Castro, who's on record as having
>lead in his pencil
Very good. You get a gold star.
>
><don't hurt my doggy!>
>> >gee, thanks.
>>
>> It all comes from the heart.
>
><RRRRIIIIPPP!!!>
My we're getting frisky, given the location of that particular organ.
>>
>> >But I tend to be more of a rat in a cage.
>>
>> You did say something once about running around in circles.
>
>well, Sean would blackmail a researcher into letting him out - or just
>hit his Crinos form and burst the bloody thing. Me? All the time.
Since you're already going around in circles, you could add some chanting and
see if you can conjure up rain.
>
<Marriot can dish it up>
Marriots tend to have better buffet food. The Marriot Marquis has a great
after theatre buffet here in NYC. Marriot runs our cafeteria at work, and its
not half bad either.
>>
<Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
It's funny how that works. I look the most like my eldest half-sister.
>
>> >the Mars Attack school of cultural comparison
>>
>> I don't think kender are descended from Terrence and Philip, either.
>
>"BLAME KENDERMORE"
I blame it most for "Tales of Uncle Trapspringer" -- the book, not the column.
>
><making days>
>> >up there with the fourteen year-old girls bashing each other in a blow
>> >bar
>>
>> Down there, in this instance. I prefer watching the jousts at the Renn
>Faire in Stirling.
>
>do you let off remote-control firecrackers on the ground randomly?
No, only near the guy I've bet against.
>
>> >of course, I could be sitting across the road from you. It's night
>> >where you are when I type this, but I'm well-equipped.
>>
>> Well equipped? I'll believe it when I see it.
>
>my thermograph tells me that 'hot-blooded' isn't just a metaphor here
Spot on -- it's also a song by Foreigner.
>
>> >*Casino* rocked.
>>
>> Not a Sharon Stone fan. Although most casinos look the same after a while,
>> Caesar's did manage to rock.
>
>can't stand her myself. I loved the situation with De Niro and Pesci.
De Niro always acquits himself well. Pesci is okay, but I cannot stand his
voice.
>>
>> >Beautiful hammer...
>> Strike unto thee.
>
>hammers are in the same league as carving knives and hatchets :)
The better to smite you with my dear, as the Big Bad Wolf would say.
>
>> >did I say *six*? Well, they're all calcium-deficient, so they fold up
>> >easily enough.
>>
>> "Folds up easily enough?" <laughs> Lord, lead me not into temptation, but
>that one was almost too good to pass up.
>
>can I recommend Nothing Personal, complete with a cool body disposal
>scene?
Of course you can. I wonder where you get the idea that I don't take you
seriously.
>
<How much is that doggy in the window?>
>so you'd abuse poor Bunsen then. I'm told people are ultra-serious
>about little league
Now there's a thought. I'll have Bunsen growl menacingly at the opposing
pitcher whenever my nephew comes up to bat.
>
>> ><Snow Uth Matar>
>> >but would *you* want such a doofus working for you?
>>
>> Beats some of the afflicted kender I have to deal with on a day to day
>basis.
>
>but this bloke goes on the assumption she's too cute/innocent to kill
Best kind of doofus if you're in the assassination business -- someone who'll
give you plausible deniability.
>
>> ><frisky kender>
>> >in dealing with kender, our judges make them copy the White Pages. I've
>> >taken exactly the same book (last year's) and hollowed it out.
>>
>> And what do the judges make you do when you've been naughty? Tatoo "The
>> Soulforge is canon" on the palm of your left hand?
>
>maybe I made it sound a bit formal. Kender never get to court around
>here. That's what is called torture, banned by convention. And my
>presence here has a lot to do with court orders anyway.
Surrounding you with kender would be a violation of the Geneva convention in my
book.
>
>> >> I prefer to learn biology from textbooks, thanks.
>> >
>> >er, don't know what came over me
>>
>> That goddess aura of mine has unpredictable results sometimes.
>
>iwantababy
You want to father yourself? No wonder you look so uncannily like your Dad,
down to the glasses. But wouldn't you implode upon conception?
><Alternate ways soldiers could have killed Julia, son of Caligula>
>I was also thinking of the execution machine - bury a dozen of 'em in
>sand up to their necks and then have a clockwork scythe randomly travel
>around the enclosed area
If the senate would not have been so scared of Caligula's German guards, they
probably would have concocted something suitably gruesome, per your
description. The funny thing is, the BBC production portrayed Julia's mother
sympathetically, while Graves made her out to be almost as bad as Caligula.
>
>> >> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
>> >> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
<Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
>> All mages, or mages who don't subscribe to their political interests?
>
>if they can't control them they don't want 'em around. Only Nostradamus
>types would be an exception
I don't think only the Nostradamus types need apply -- any wizard who makes
himself of use and plays the political game or keeps himself discreetly hidden
among the crowd can lead a productive normal life.
>
>> >> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
>> >> <The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
>> >>
<Rohan doesn't care when he carks it>
>> Now that's a little unexpected and depressing. I'd live to be as old as a
>> HotL, if it were within my power to ensure it.
>
>well, we've just established that I'm not allowed to live to 41
This is the part of the paradox where you keep losing me. If I give birth
tomorrow, the infant would be a day old and you'd be history because of the
paradox. If I get to my 50s without having a kid, it seems to me that you are
home free.
>(although you'd also need to dump my ashes into the sun - otoh, the
>dragon orb is a good question...)
The dragon orb is actually a good idea, except it would be something more like
a rat orb if we're doing this based on Sean. Since Magius also used some kind
of life force for the staff, you can always consider creating the Staff Of
Tolstrup.
>
<Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
>> So what happens if the circumcision is a religious requirement? Will the
>Aussie court intervene on a religious matter?
>
>currently the enforcement agencies just ignore the law. Hmm, we'd
>better chop off butt cheeks as well.
Now that would be unhealthy, since it's removing a layer of protection.
>
>> >> >do you ever play Cyberpunk 2020?
>> >> No. But if you hum a few bars I can strum a few strings.
>> >
<The 3rd edition is two years late>
>>
>> Now you know what all those Star Wars fans went through waiting for the
>Phantom Menace.
>
>they made the film pretty soon after announcing it, didn't they?
But they waited a heck of a long time between it and the Return of the Jedi.
>Certainly TPM didn't hold up an entire product line.
It kept a franchise creatively dormant for quite a long time. Not that TPM has
succeeded in revitalizing it.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
>> >> Such sweet innocence.
>> >
>> >such sweet American pie
>>
>> You can smell the aroma from Melbourne? That's some set of nostrils, since
>> that's not something I leave lying atop the windowsill.
>
>muhahahahaha
I forgot you were ticklish. Cootchie Cootchie Coo.
>> >
>> <Rohan believes all celebrities are minions of Satan>
>> <There are some nice normal celebrities out there>
>> >
>> >aaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhh. Certainly I haven't left many movies
>> >without the urge to kill.
>>
>> Feel free to accost Ralph Bashki and George Lucas and give them a piece of
>your mind.
>
>my piece, their minds...
That works too. Make sure there will be no sequel to that Lord of the Rings
cartoon.
>
>> >> >so who's pulling a Speed on who?
>> >>
>> >> She who must be obeyed.
>> >
>> >you've been talking to my mother?
>>
>> There are some questions about Norway that she wanted to get cleared up.
>
>so the real reason Dad and Bunsen have taken her down to the beachhouse
>is to whack her and feed her to the penguins?
No, I was discreet about the girl talk.
A beachhouse, penguins, and Bunsen? Your Dad's a romantic. That's actually
pretty cool.
>
>> >> >and you were in the S.A.S. when?
>> >>
>> >> In one of my previous lifetimes.
>> >
>> >I suppose if you can implant one of your fertilised eggs in my mother in
>> >late 1977-early '78 (without timetravelling yourself) you can have been
>> >put through the S.A.S. interrogation course by some Reese type.
>>
>> You still have some time. If I were to settle down and have a child, I'd
>like my first born to be a daughter.
>
>'time' is relative. Either way I'm doomed here - although maybe I could
>give myself a bit longer by going back to '68 or whenever and arranging
>for your future mother to get locked up for ten years...
So you're planning a reverse Fistandantilus?
>
>> >> ><flipping off Crysania>
>> <The KoS disregarding Crysania would be like Luther defying the Pope>
>> >
<Elistan's converts were at the root of the KoS, so they'd respect Crysania>
>> It was a faith born more of miracles than of leadership. After the Chaos
>War, Crysania was still around, but the KoS was losing faith, because the
>whizbang of clerical magic was gone.
>
>I thought they deliberately de-emphasised the spell side of it. For the
>KoS to win the war, they had to be serious about following Paladine.
Elistan was the major figure that they followed during the war. Given his
illness, Elistan was probably more concerned about his succession plan than the
Measure.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
>>
>> >> ><explosive attire, underwear required>
>> <hugging the rock hard column>
>>
>> >I'm not that egotistical. I mean what's holding the building up.
>>
>> One pillar for an entire building? Wow.
>
>little lesson in engineering: one pillar alone will not hold up a
>building. However, destroy one of several pillars and the building will
>collapse.
Thanks, teach. What's tomorrow's lesson?
>
>> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
>> >> And it should be in everyone's interests, per your explanation that
>> >revising the Measure is in everyone's interests.
>> >
<Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
>> I'd forgotten that the elves and the dwarves didn't vote. That means that
>any influence that they could exert on changing the Measure, if they cared to
>do so, would have been that much less effective.
>
>this was simply a conference before the alliance. Whitestone was not a
>perpetual council, just an ad-hoc summit with temporary rules. imo
>Tanis and Laurana were trying to set up something viable.
For the elves, first. Didn't getting Silvanesti in order take at least 10
years? Where would they get time to deal with the Measure, especially when
Laurana didn't even like to go to the Armistice celebrations in Palanthas?
>>
>> >> ><Vietnam syndrome>
<Nixon took a hit on foreign policy but no one cared as long as the US sent
cash and troops>
>there's more than one conspiracy theory saying that Gough Whitlam was
>effectively sacked by the CIA.
Absolutely. But to the point about the KoS, did the world care about the
disarray of the US enough to meddle in domestic issues?
>
>> <Sturm did not become an activist knights because he thought the HotL were
>> doing a better job of helping others>
>> A man raised in a small backwater, who despised Raistlin as the "sly" one?
>Not likely.
>
>yeah, I guess Crownguard was better at 'do as I say.' But he could
>quickly have become a charismatic leader of KoS who cared.
Sturm did have potential and was seeing through the murkiness of the Measure.
But he could have easily become a Jimmy Carter hampered by good intentions,
too.
>
>> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and Rohan
>> disagrees>
>> >
<East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
>
>seems that they're suddenly trying to come up with unsatisfactory
>reasons why the LoS is better. Bastards.
Making the LoS the "better" choice is a self-defeating game. Using a clerical
analogy, it's like saying the Church of Paladine is better than the Church of
Mishakal.
>
>> >the book with logic and canon violations unseen since The Companions?
>> >I'm sure by comparison a Kharas or Laurana would've been given the key
>> >to the executive dunny.
>>
>> Someone did -- Valian -- and Liam made the offer. And the Odyssey of
>Gilthanas does go into detail about Linsha's vision, and how it revitalized
the
>> demoralized Knighthood.
>
>if that book includes a bad attempt to make up for the ludicrous gap
>left by the 5A box and Legacy of Steel, should I be interested?
It won't satisfy you, I think. While the vision did revitalize the Knighthood,
it was based heavily on what could be construed as coincidence.
>
>> >now, if you could help me with this experimental Ballistic Vest... I'll
>> >just clip this card to your back and then you can start running.
>>
>> Sure thing. Just let me get a firmer grip on Bunsen's collar.
>
>he's at Philip Island, possibly chasing penguins
Spike'll do then. Lucky pup, that Bunsen. The only penguins I've ever seen up
close have been at the Zoo.
>
>> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
>> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
>> >> >it's got an enclosed room at the top. What more do you want?
>> >>
>> >> Electronic flushing, sinks, and a full length mirror.
>> >
>> >that room's pretty big. Iwayhootsay and Iwayotevay of the Mt Nevermind
>> >Guild of Plumbing and Hazardous Materials can do the infrastructure.
>>
>> And who the heck wants to use a toilet that Morgion's sat on? Or Chemosh?
>
>good aligned deities only, although it's possible Kiri-Jolith has
>hygiene issues, Habbakuk tracks in water, Mishakal drips blood all over
>the place and Paladine shifts between fall-in Fizban and obliterating
>Platinum Dragon...
Fall-in Fizban would also annoyingly leave the seat up.
>
><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
>> >> >> >> >> <Rohan, author>
>> >> >> >> <explanation of Sword Character>
>> >> >> <explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
>> >> ><Sword, demon redeemed>
>> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
>> >at this rate I may as well just drive up to Darwin, bundle some gear
>> >into a watertight bag, and start swimming
>>
>> You'd better do it before the submarines arrive. Someone's going to start
>> interfering down there eventually.
>
>either the force is fighting the Indonesian govt or half the military.
>I'm not sure whether they'd be fighting more troops if it was full war.
Clinton's now said he's not opposed to sending in peace keepers. It will get
uglier before it gets better.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>> >> >> >I can use a remote collar with camera you know...
>> >> >> Collars have a habit of falling off. Here Bunsen, here pup....
>> >> >he's being followed by a variety of surveillance methods, incl keyhole
>> >> >spysats.
>> >> I guess I'll have to dissect him to find the transponder. And I really
>> >wanted a pet dog, too.
>> >I've got a stash, but it wouldn't be nice to hurt my doggy
>>
>> A stash of puppies? Bunsen's a father?
>
>nah. Physically impossible. Remember, I've got several identical labs.
So you've clipped Bunsen, too. It's dangerous for male pets in your home, eh?
>
>> >> I guess I have my answer. Hope your clothes were wash and wear.
>> >
>> >past tense is about right. *You* try swimming the Pacific in jeans and
>> >a heavy cotton overshirt.
>>
<Phoenix produces sandpaper skin>
>I'm solarphobic. Of course, you've never actually *seen* the sun
>before, so it's different.
New York does have summers, Koalataur. So does the Carribean and the
Southwest.
>I've been paranoid about skin cancer for
>most of my life.
Living mostly in NYC, that is not a problem, true. But why do you think you're
especially susceptible?
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
>> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>> >> Remember, it has to be toasty red with lots of butter.
>> >
>> >napalm's thrown in at no extra cost
>>
>> You've got to let her catch it and shell it first. Vee is a do it yourself
>> type of cat.
>
>Vee is curry
No she's furry.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
><Reservoir Gods>
>> The Greygem was Reorx's faux pas. Granted, Paladine and Gilean are not
>> innocent, but they were cleaning up Reorx's mess.
>
>wasn't it Hiddukel who screwed up? Gilean failed to carry out his duty.
Reorx fell for it though.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
>> >> >I'm doomed, aren't I?
>> >>
>> >> With the Hasbro deep pockets being tapped, I would say yes.
>> >
>> >good thing you can get a gun easier than pizza in America then
>>
>> You'll certainly get it easier than my American pie.
>
>but with one you can get another...
You can always knock over a bakery on your way to Renton.
>> ><leave a light on for me>
>> >> Go ahead, make my day.
>> >
>> >there's a thought. Do you sing in the shower or should I wear Tabi?
>>
>> On occasion, I warble a tune or two. Even if you aren't a soprano now, I
>can almost guarantee that I'll get you to hit a high C or two before I'm
>through.
>
>I'd better bring a friend and protection
No external aid is allowed during the Test.
>
>> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
>> >> >> Still won't move things beyond the facial cheek, poopsie, especially
>> >since that alone elicits gunfire.
>> >> >
>> >> >and the question for the day: is there a round under the hammer?
>> >>
>> >> Be sure your personnal effects are in order. I'll take Bunsen, if Simon
>> >> doesn't want him.
>> >
>> >gee, thanks.
>>
>> I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about Bunsen when
>Satan comes go collect his Leaves II payment.
>
>I'd rather not repeat what I did to get into Leaves II. I feel dirty.
You showed him the birthmark, didn't you?
>
>> > I didn't say which way I was pointing the gun
>>
>> All it takes is another peck on the cheek and it will be pointed right back
>at you.
>
>mind over matter? Obscene reach for a woman ten inches shorter?
No, just your own words per the last time we discussed pecks on the facial
cheeks.
>
>> >> ><splash>
>> ><NY, NY>
>> >> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
<American Gladiators are gone and we're both glad>
>> >> >al dente disposal?
>> >>
>> >> Putting the bite into the last goodnight.
>> >
>> >when you care you send the best
>>
>> ;-)
>
>before you kill me, can I give my acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace
>Prize?
If you leave me the prize money in your will.
>
<Blue eyes, Rolling Stones T-Shirt>
>America being *that* censored I suppose... I'd better not send you fotos
It can't be that bad a T-shirt. And since when are eyes dirty?
>
>> >> >> > I was talking more in terms of facial growth. If only dwarves
>> >shaved...
>> >> >> So shaving with a dwarf is your idea of a good time? You do have
>> >rather, ahem, exotic tastes.
>> >> >
>> >> >that's not *quite* what I was getting at...
>> >>
>> >> I'm not sure what you're getting at, with all that talk about pubic
>> >> electrolysis -- with a dwarf, no less.
>> >
>> >getoutofmymind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>> Why? It's roomier in here than my 6 room apartment. I think there's even
>> space her for a cat room for Vee and Gilbert.
>
>sure you've got the right head? I'm more worried about you and what you
>might come across in there.
I've wallpapered over the porn images.
>
>> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> >> I think Vee and Granak would get along famously. Formerly renegade
>Sivak and currently renegade feline.
>> >
>> >good point. But you're assuming I don't have anything on Granak...
>>
>> Granak has all those gnome inventions at his disposal, though.
>
>and I'm the gnomes' union boss
Granak can always call a strike.
>
>> >> >> >> <British time keeping>
>> ><in the navy>
>> <what will HM be replaced with?>
<Republic might replace HM but the Queen will most likely stay on the currency>
>> >> >I might join the navy and drop by in a sailor suit
>> >>
>> >> Eat lots of spinach -- you'll need it.
>> >
>> >why pump iron when you can pump lead?
>>
>> Because that assumes that you will have a functioning pumping mechanism at
>> hand.
>
>but remember, I've also got NYPD ID and know how to use it
You're going to give out traffic tickets and eat doughnuts?
>
>> >> >> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
>> >> >> >which 'Dilbert' character are you?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> My guess is Dogbert.
>> >> >
>> >> >fetch the stick and don't get the burning, hissing bit in your mouth
>> >>
>> >> No that's what I gave to Bunsen when I sent him back home.
>> >
>> >oh shit. So that's why I can't find him and we've got a new carpet.
>>
>> You could turn him into gloves and matching earmuffs, so won't catch
>another cold.
>
>I'd say about enough to upholster an office chair
You could always use it as a front seat cover for your car.
>
>> >> >come over here and say that
>> >>
>> >> When you wish upon a star ....
>> >
>> >some smartarse nicks your car
>>
>> Good job, Vee.
>
>soon she'll find it's one of those cars in RoboCop.
It'll have to catch her first.
>> >> >> As someone recently pointed out to me," just what could you and
>Tolstrup possibly talk about that can take 800 lines?"
>> >> >
>> >> >my plans to carve you up with a machete, put you through a mulcher and
>> >> >get Spike, Bunsen, Gilbert and Vee together for a party
>> >>
>> >> Still trying to get under my skin, eh?
>> >
>> >but you'd make such a nice outfit
>>
>> Wearing it, you'll certainly be asked out more -- to the sanitarium, the
>> prison, the courtroom...
>
>you're strictly for special occasions, like when no cops are around
I'm flattered.
>
>> >> >> It's nice to know that you are in touch with your feminine side.
>> >> >
>> >> >I'M NEVER GOING BACK!!!!!!
>> >> >
>> >> >Hypothetically, were we able to choose gender...
>> >>
>> >> Maybe you are Tak's bastard son after all.
>> >
>> ><sniffle>
>>
>> <passes handkerchief> Make her take the blood test and then hit her up for
>all those years in back support.
>
>I think she'd be pretty good at falsifying evidence...
Maybe the Great Library has a copy of your birth certificate?
>
>> ><pillowing Altarielle>
>> >> >> Good, that gives me a clear shot
>> >> >
>> >> >interesting intellectual connection there
>> >>
>> >> Glad you got it.
>> >
>> >not my exact meaning
>>
>> which is?
>
>I'd probably better let you remain blissfully innocent
What a guy.
>
>> >> >> >not those words, unless you're a goddess of masochism
>> >> >>
>> >> >> No, the goddess of domination.
>> >> >
>> >> >!@#$%^&*(
>> >>
>> >> Face NYC when you say that, my pooh bear of profanity.
>> >
>> >we're standing on a sphere
>>
>> On your knees in the general direction will suffice.
>
>my rifle position is prone
A 21 gun salute? I'm honored.
>
>> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in Melbourne>
>>
>> >> >I've still got a passport, and why do you think Customs grabbed the
>'Bob Hefner' passport?
>> >>
>> >> No one will ever stamp a passport with a cut out picture of Alfred E
>Neuman on the first page.
>> >
>> >my picture, edited to match my current appearance of course
>>
>> 6' kittens get passports?
>
>I at least appear human
But the tail gives you away. And what happens when the Customs agent tosses a
ball of yarn in your direction?
>
>> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>> >>
>> >> Gilbert would get the rodent before he dropped the grenade and shinnied.
>> >
>> >but you forget, Sean has a sixth sense and can go ethereal instantly.
>> >Plus he's got a lot of mates and several guns.
>>
>> If he can go ethereal, a 99 cent battery operated fan should be enough to
>> scatter him into the East River. I'll let my fan club deal with rat's camp
>> followers.
>
>fan's on a different plane of existence. I meant 'mates' in the Aussie
>term -
I know. Camp followers were more than just hetairi. The term also referred to
anyone who followed an army for whatever reason. Sometimes small villages
followed Alexander.
> Kit the npc rat might not mind, but Eric Wolf and Amanda, Get of
>Fenris, might take umbrage. And between us we nearly wiped out the
>local police force in our Alaskan town.
Nothing can overcome the fanatical zeal of worshippers on the rampage.
>
>> >> >Rohan "Pussyslayer" Tolstrup
>> >>
>> >> You need to have some to slay some, Koalataur.
>> >
>> >oooooh that was nasty
>>
>> Thanks. I am to please.
>
>could you please stand a little closer to that light?
Only if you step back three paces.
>
>Rohan Tolstrup, Prince of Darkness
>
Tolstrup
> >> >><The standards may not apply to Krynnish gods>
> >that actions speak louder than words - just that people are more likely
> >to perform the actions which empower gods within a worship framework.
> >Essentially it's like a really good restaurant; without advertising the
> >patronage is small and select (Sturm etc), but if everybody knows about
> >it gets homogenised.
>
> So if I understand what you're saying, the gods are feasting off of
> unsuspecting mortals in the period after the first Cataclysm? But how do you
> explain where the gods got their powers before the creation of Krynn? They had
> to be at optimum strength to create a world.
their 'batteries' were 'fully charged.' To 'recharge' them they needed
worshipers, neatly encapsulating a lot of their motives.
> >> >> >> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals and
> >> >> >decrease fear of the gods>
>
> >it'd take even the Kingpriest ages to waste such a bastard, and by then
> >the REAL gods have taken a second out of their eternal gun battle for a
> >kind of 'SHUT UP!' unanimous blast
>
> Like the Cataclysm? The Kingpriest thought nothing of reshaping the worship of
> Paladine to his will, so he'd embark on an even greater scheme of powergrabbing
> if he knows Paladine isn't even giving Krynn his full attention. Either the
> minions become demigod tyrants, tipping over the Balance, or they become
> "Mini-Me" versions of their patrons, engaging in their own personal vendettas
> while the gods are busy elsewhere. It would take more than one earthshattering
> event like the Cataclysm to undo the damage.
evil is defined as internal striving. Paladine et al would probably
have proxies, who tend to have goals exactly the same as the patron. I
think in terms of angels with no true sense of self.
> >> >> >> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
> >> >> <the nice guy was framed because he was too popular>
> >> It's all in the phrasing as to whether a remark is considered helpful
> >guidance or a turf threat.
> >
> >Anwar iirc was trying to fix the economy (probably IMF-style)
>
> If he implied that the problem was his boss' fault he signed his own warrant.
as Mahathir's been running Malaysia for about twenty years now, just
about anything could be considered a threat. Anwar should've gotten
more dirt on his boss.
> <Fidel Tolstrup>
> >lost me there. I presume you mean Castro, who's on record as having
> >lead in his pencil
>
> Very good. You get a gold star.
cool. But apart from the odd intervention in the 70s and 80s, Cuba has
no need of a military - the US is treatybound to not attack, and anybody
else taking on Cuba would be taking on America, who vastly prefers Cuba
as a neighbour to the alternative.
> >
> ><don't hurt my doggy!>
> >> >gee, thanks.
> >>
> >> It all comes from the heart.
> >
> ><RRRRIIIIPPP!!!>
>
> My we're getting frisky, given the location of that particular organ.
and such a delicacy. Five limbs to hold you.
> >well, Sean would blackmail a researcher into letting him out - or just
> >hit his Crinos form and burst the bloody thing. Me? All the time.
>
> Since you're already going around in circles, you could add some chanting and
> see if you can conjure up rain.
I'd feel too foolish, and Sean wouldn't do something he doesn't
understand (although he's not as skeptical as he was before he sprouted
fur and ripped up three nurses & two cops)
> <Marriot can dish it up>
>
> Marriots tend to have better buffet food. The Marriot Marquis has a great
> after theatre buffet here in NYC. Marriot runs our cafeteria at work, and its
> not half bad either.
just get them to shoot the table staff, or have INS stake it out
> <Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
>
> It's funny how that works. I look the most like my eldest half-sister.
a woman in one of my tutes says she looks more like her adoptive parents
than the biological siblings.
> >> I don't think kender are descended from Terrence and Philip, either.
> >
> >"BLAME KENDERMORE"
>
> I blame it most for "Tales of Uncle Trapspringer" -- the book, not the column.
DL Doublethink anybody? Trapspringer isn't meant to be a real
character, and that's the end of the story. I even liked McKeone's
Birthright books.
> ><making days>
> >> >up there with the fourteen year-old girls bashing each other in a blow
> >> >bar
> >>
> >> Down there, in this instance. I prefer watching the jousts at the Renn
> >Faire in Stirling.
> >
> >do you let off remote-control firecrackers on the ground randomly?
>
> No, only near the guy I've bet against.
gambling's sinful. Punish the pusher. If the 'knights' weren't there
you wouldn't bet on them.
> >> Well equipped? I'll believe it when I see it.
> >
> >my thermograph tells me that 'hot-blooded' isn't just a metaphor here
>
> Spot on -- it's also a song by Foreigner.
probably heard it. I'm looking into getting a personal compilation CD
to play on Random in the car. They keep playing my favorites at really
bad times.
<Casino was kewl>
> >can't stand her myself. I loved the situation with De Niro and Pesci.
>
> De Niro always acquits himself well. Pesci is okay, but I cannot stand his
> voice.
good thing about him in 'serious' movies is that he always gets whacked.
The 'buried alive' scene probably raised audience cheers.
> >> >Beautiful hammer...
> >> Strike unto thee.
> >
> >hammers are in the same league as carving knives and hatchets :)
>
> The better to smite you with my dear, as the Big Bad Wolf would say.
before I took it's face off with a thermite shell from somebody else's
twelve gauge?
> >> "Folds up easily enough?" <laughs> Lord, lead me not into temptation, but
> >that one was almost too good to pass up.
> >
> >can I recommend Nothing Personal, complete with a cool body disposal
> >scene?
>
> Of course you can. I wonder where you get the idea that I don't take you
> seriously.
the cool thing about the possibility of me carking it in the next few
years is that part of me might end up as a bar of soap in your shower.
I should make several dozen bars.
> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
> >so you'd abuse poor Bunsen then. I'm told people are ultra-serious
> >about little league
>
> Now there's a thought. I'll have Bunsen growl menacingly at the opposing
> pitcher whenever my nephew comes up to bat.
no, just make a hide and watch the game through a telescopic sight
> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
> >> >but would *you* want such a doofus working for you?
> >>
> >> Beats some of the afflicted kender I have to deal with on a day to day
> >basis.
> >
> >but this bloke goes on the assumption she's too cute/innocent to kill
>
> Best kind of doofus if you're in the assassination business -- someone who'll
> give you plausible deniability.
strictly limits what she'll be able to use him for, and he'd pose
difficulties for working with others.
> >> ><frisky kender>
> >> And what do the judges make you do when you've been naughty? Tatoo "The
> >> Soulforge is canon" on the palm of your left hand?
> >
> >maybe I made it sound a bit formal. Kender never get to court around
> >here. That's what is called torture, banned by convention. And my
> >presence here has a lot to do with court orders anyway.
>
> Surrounding you with kender would be a violation of the Geneva convention in my
> book.
I'm trying to get it appealed, but I need somebody to take the case on.
> >> >> I prefer to learn biology from textbooks, thanks.
> >> >
> >> >er, don't know what came over me
> >>
> >> That goddess aura of mine has unpredictable results sometimes.
> >
> >iwantababy
>
> You want to father yourself? No wonder you look so uncannily like your Dad,
> down to the glasses. But wouldn't you implode upon conception?
why the hell did I write *that*? I'm assuming it was me. Certainly the
last is physically impossible because two different stages of my tissue
would simultaneously exist.
>
> ><Alternate ways soldiers could have killed Julia, son of Caligula>
>
> >I was also thinking of the execution machine - bury a dozen of 'em in
> >sand up to their necks and then have a clockwork scythe randomly travel
> >around the enclosed area
>
> If the senate would not have been so scared of Caligula's German guards, they
> probably would have concocted something suitably gruesome, per your
> description. The funny thing is, the BBC production portrayed Julia's mother
> sympathetically, while Graves made her out to be almost as bad as Caligula.
his sister was the nasty one, but I found it amusing he deliberately
sought out 'the most promiscuous woman in Rome'
> >> >> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
> >> >> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
> >if they can't control them they don't want 'em around. Only Nostradamus
> >types would be an exception
>
> I don't think only the Nostradamus types need apply -- any wizard who makes
> himself of use and plays the political game or keeps himself discreetly hidden
> among the crowd can lead a productive normal life.
wizards are too valuable to not control. If you can't control them and
they're not too hideously powerful <squelch>
> >> >> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
> >> >> <The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
> >well, we've just established that I'm not allowed to live to 41
>
> This is the part of the paradox where you keep losing me. If I give birth
> tomorrow, the infant would be a day old and you'd be history because of the
> paradox. If I get to my 50s without having a kid, it seems to me that you are
> home free.
if you never have a kid then I never existed. Reckon you could've been
a little figurative and had me being say your grandson, so I get to live
to 60-70?
> >(although you'd also need to dump my ashes into the sun - otoh, the
> >dragon orb is a good question...)
>
> The dragon orb is actually a good idea, except it would be something more like
> a rat orb if we're doing this based on Sean. Since Magius also used some kind
> of life force for the staff, you can always consider creating the Staff Of
> Tolstrup.
hmm. I was thinking more in terms of the orb existing simultaneously in
Raistlin's hands *and* Lorac's. Perhaps as an artifact it's able to
split it's sentience, or it was partially in the 'Abyss' which possibly
exists outside time...
> >
> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
>
> >> So what happens if the circumcision is a religious requirement? Will the
> >Aussie court intervene on a religious matter?
> >
> >currently the enforcement agencies just ignore the law. Hmm, we'd
> >better chop off butt cheeks as well.
>
> Now that would be unhealthy, since it's removing a layer of protection.
everybody's covered in dead skin. Better get it off. Pass the spud
peeler.
> >they made the film pretty soon after announcing it, didn't they?
>
> But they waited a heck of a long time between it and the Return of the Jedi.
nobody *expected* a follow-up though. With CP it's the equivalent of
getting Autumn Twilight and Winter Night, and then Weis' computer
spontaneously combusting and taking Spring Dawning with it.
>
> >Certainly TPM didn't hold up an entire product line.
>
> It kept a franchise creatively dormant for quite a long time. Not that TPM has
> succeeded in revitalizing it.
Star Wars rpg and a lot of comics etc... the Zahn books are something I
liked more than the originals.
> >> >> >> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
> >muhahahahaha
>
> I forgot you were ticklish. Cootchie Cootchie Coo.
that's not my 'I'm being tickled and it *rocks*' laugh
> >> <Rohan believes all celebrities are minions of Satan>
> >> <There are some nice normal celebrities out there>
> >> Feel free to accost Ralph Bashki and George Lucas and give them a piece of
> >your mind.
> >
> >my piece, their minds...
>
> That works too. Make sure there will be no sequel to that Lord of the Rings
> cartoon.
I thought I'd just Lennon a few celebs
> >> There are some questions about Norway that she wanted to get cleared up.
> >
> >so the real reason Dad and Bunsen have taken her down to the beachhouse
> >is to whack her and feed her to the penguins?
>
> No, I was discreet about the girl talk.
she's old enough to be *your* mother, although she's not the type
>
> A beachhouse, penguins, and Bunsen? Your Dad's a romantic. That's actually
> pretty cool.
plenty of nice swampland. Family pilgrimage site, Mum's family's been
going down there for about fifty years and we've got a house there.
> >'time' is relative. Either way I'm doomed here - although maybe I could
> >give myself a bit longer by going back to '68 or whenever and arranging
> >for your future mother to get locked up for ten years...
>
> So you're planning a reverse Fistandantilus?
wouldn't you?
> >> >> ><flipping off Crysania>
> >> <The KoS disregarding Crysania would be like Luther defying the Pope>
> >> >
> <Elistan's converts were at the root of the KoS, so they'd respect Crysania>
>
> >> It was a faith born more of miracles than of leadership. After the Chaos
> >War, Crysania was still around, but the KoS was losing faith, because the
> >whizbang of clerical magic was gone.
> >
> >I thought they deliberately de-emphasised the spell side of it. For the
> >KoS to win the war, they had to be serious about following Paladine.
>
> Elistan was the major figure that they followed during the war. Given his
> illness, Elistan was probably more concerned about his succession plan than the
> Measure.
Crysania's the anointed successor, and the KoS mindset is given to
hierarchy. It's possible that the KoS were actually subordinate to the
Kingpriests in a spiritual fashion, the separate existence coming from
the fiction that Istar had a distinct civil government. And Elistan
would've made certain that the KoS would respect Crysania. After all,
she was the main peacetime leader of the good orders and the one
implementing the reforms I've written about.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania and her pussycat>
> >>
> >> >> ><explosive attire, underwear required>
> >> <hugging the rock hard column>
> >little lesson in engineering: one pillar alone will not hold up a
> >building. However, destroy one of several pillars and the building will
> >collapse.
>
> Thanks, teach. What's tomorrow's lesson?
Revolutions For Dummies
> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
> For the elves, first. Didn't getting Silvanesti in order take at least 10
> years? Where would they get time to deal with the Measure, especially when
> Laurana didn't even like to go to the Armistice celebrations in Palanthas?
as I've pointed out, although the *main focus* of the Silvanesti was on
getting their home back, that doesn't mean there weren't highly-placed
elves (say Gilthanas before he disappeared) with a keen interest in the
greater world. Laurana's job description was to shuttle between courts
and build trust between them; that assertation sounds ridiculous, unless
they simply meant that she preferred quiet individual dealings with
people she knew to huge parades like that one in Kalaman.
> >> >> ><Vietnam syndrome>
> <Nixon took a hit on foreign policy but no one cared as long as the US sent
> cash and troops>
>
> >there's more than one conspiracy theory saying that Gough Whitlam was
> >effectively sacked by the CIA.
>
> Absolutely. But to the point about the KoS, did the world care about the
> disarray of the US enough to meddle in domestic issues?
America didn't really have a constitutional problem, certainly not on
the level of the Measure. I'm thinking in terms of how the western
alliance nearly collapsed because of the Suez crisis (Israelis provoked
a fight with Nasser's Egypt, Brits & Frogs give a one-sided
'peacekeeping' ultimatum as an excuse to invade)
> >> <Sturm did not become an activist knights because he thought the HotL were
> >> doing a better job of helping others>
> >> A man raised in a small backwater, who despised Raistlin as the "sly" one?
> >Not likely.
> >
> >yeah, I guess Crownguard was better at 'do as I say.' But he could
> >quickly have become a charismatic leader of KoS who cared.
>
> Sturm did have potential and was seeing through the murkiness of the Measure.
> But he could have easily become a Jimmy Carter hampered by good intentions,
> too.
Carter saw everything through rose-coloured glasses until the Russians
pulled a Vietnam in Afghanistan, when he went postal and trashed
detente. Sturm seemed to have a much better grasp of reality than the
dixiecrat governor with no foreign policy experience.
> >> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and Rohan
> >> disagrees>
> >> >
> <East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
> >
> >seems that they're suddenly trying to come up with unsatisfactory
> >reasons why the LoS is better. Bastards.
>
> Making the LoS the "better" choice is a self-defeating game. Using a clerical
> analogy, it's like saying the Church of Paladine is better than the Church of
> Mishakal.
the idea of a split in the forces of good (with the dissenting faction
being actively supported by Caramon and Tika, who should know better)
goes heavily against the concept of Dragonlance. I see the LoS as a
'Bear Cult' type organisation. It's 'enlightened behaviour' is no
different from how the KoS act if they're serious about the Oath.
> >> Someone did -- Valian -- and Liam made the offer. And the Odyssey of
> >Gilthanas does go into detail about Linsha's vision, and how it revitalized
> the
> >> demoralized Knighthood.
> >
> >if that book includes a bad attempt to make up for the ludicrous gap
> >left by the 5A box and Legacy of Steel, should I be interested?
>
> It won't satisfy you, I think. While the vision did revitalize the Knighthood,
> it was based heavily on what could be construed as coincidence.
and I've already pointed out that Sara Dunstan could've been having a
drug trip or influenced by the Shadow Sorceror.
<small ladies' vest, exclusive to Target>
> >> Sure thing. Just let me get a firmer grip on Bunsen's collar.
> >
> >he's at Philip Island, possibly chasing penguins
>
> Spike'll do then. Lucky pup, that Bunsen. The only penguins I've ever seen up
> close have been at the Zoo.
I doubt Bunsen has Spike's "kill shit" instinct, but he'd probably have
fun with the bunnies around there. Really I should put a few remote
Claymore mines along the beach and then let the Japanese tourists record
him cleaning up the carnage.
> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> >> >that room's pretty big. Iwayhootsay and Iwayotevay of the Mt Nevermind
> >> >Guild of Plumbing and Hazardous Materials can do the infrastructure.
> >>
> >> And who the heck wants to use a toilet that Morgion's sat on? Or Chemosh?
> >
> >good aligned deities only, although it's possible Kiri-Jolith has
> >hygiene issues, Habbakuk tracks in water, Mishakal drips blood all over
> >the place and Paladine shifts between fall-in Fizban and obliterating
> >Platinum Dragon...
>
> Fall-in Fizban would also annoyingly leave the seat up.
that boy's dominated by his women I'd say. I'd be more worried about
Sirrion than Chemosh anyway - Chemosh is just a pile of bones (probably
pretty clean by now, one npc apparently got off on stark ivory), while
Sirrion melts plastic seats and turns the porcelain model into a cookpot
> >
> ><Altarielle-brand non-spreadable mayonnaise>
> >> >> >> >> >> <Rohan, author>
> >> >> >> >> <explanation of Sword Character>
> >> >> >> <explanation of Sword's origin in an rpg>
> >> >> ><Sword, demon redeemed>
> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
> >either the force is fighting the Indonesian govt or half the military.
> >I'm not sure whether they'd be fighting more troops if it was full war.
>
> Clinton's now said he's not opposed to sending in peace keepers. It will get
> uglier before it gets better.
did I mention they're not talking sending 'em in for weeks? Already
Dili has been Que Shu'd, and that's just what we know about. Those poor
bastards will have *nothing*.
> >> >> >> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
> >> A stash of puppies? Bunsen's a father?
> >
> >nah. Physically impossible. Remember, I've got several identical labs.
>
> So you've clipped Bunsen, too. It's dangerous for male pets in your home, eh?
I don't make the law. The whole 'fixing' mentality (he has testicles so
he's broken) is a scary social phenomenon.
> <Phoenix produces sandpaper skin>
>
> >I'm solarphobic. Of course, you've never actually *seen* the sun
> >before, so it's different.
>
> New York does have summers, Koalataur. So does the Carribean and the
> Southwest.
having experienced winter in DC and Boston...
> >I've been paranoid about skin cancer for
> >most of my life.
>
> Living mostly in NYC, that is not a problem, true. But why do you think you're
> especially susceptible?
I just dislike the sensation of being sunburned. Also when I was nine I
got 2nd degree burns to the outer ankle of my right foot and the back of
my left (hot ashes down boots, ran through a firepit), and I'd rather
not go through that again.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Camera work>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><Crysania fitness program>
> >> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
> >Vee is curry
>
> No she's furry.
that's the second thing to go. Seen the Simpsons episode where they get
stuck in Japan?
> >> >> >> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
> ><Reservoir Gods>
> >wasn't it Hiddukel who screwed up? Gilean failed to carry out his duty.
>
> Reorx fell for it though.
I'd say diminished responsibility. In any event, certainly Paladine
broke his own law ('good redeems its own'), and Gilean breached the
fundamental duty of neutrality - to whip the others into line to deal
with external threats.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
<Capriciossa 9mm)
> >but with one you can get another...
>
> You can always knock over a bakery on your way to Renton.
you realise Renton's the home of a Darwin Award nominee? It's been
repeated ad nauseum, but that area has a shitload of concealed carry
licences, and our hero walked past a marked cop car to rob a gun shop.
The cop returning fire tried to shoot an autoloader like a revolver,
trashing his hand - revolvers don't have a sharp-edged slide flying back
with....the force of a speeding bullet.
> >> ><leave a light on for me>
> >> >> Go ahead, make my day.
> >> >
> >> >there's a thought. Do you sing in the shower or should I wear Tabi?
> >>
> >> On occasion, I warble a tune or two. Even if you aren't a soprano now, I
> >can almost guarantee that I'll get you to hit a high C or two before I'm
> >through.
> >
> >I'd better bring a friend and protection
>
> No external aid is allowed during the Test.
I thought it was traditional that getting *out* was their affair. And
all I'll need will be a kitchen knife and what cricketers call a box.
> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
> >> I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about Bunsen when
> >Satan comes go collect his Leaves II payment.
> >
> >I'd rather not repeat what I did to get into Leaves II. I feel dirty.
>
> You showed him the birthmark, didn't you?
a little more imaginative than that, but I'm trying to suppress
> >mind over matter? Obscene reach for a woman ten inches shorter?
>
> No, just your own words per the last time we discussed pecks on the facial
> cheeks.
it's not like I impregnate my jocks with essence of effluvia. Bending
might be a bad idea, so are you using a stepladder?
> >> >> ><splash>
> >> ><NY, NY>
> >> >> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
> <American Gladiators are gone and we're both glad>
> >before you kill me, can I give my acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace
> >Prize?
>
> If you leave me the prize money in your will.
now all I've got to do is *get* the prize
> <Blue eyes, Rolling Stones T-Shirt>
>
> >America being *that* censored I suppose... I'd better not send you fotos
>
> It can't be that bad a T-shirt. And since when are eyes dirty?
my eyes aren't especially dirty, but I can imagine American fashion
police reining in on more colourful quotes.
> >> >getoutofmymind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> >>
> >> Why? It's roomier in here than my 6 room apartment. I think there's even
> >> space her for a cat room for Vee and Gilbert.
> >
> >sure you've got the right head? I'm more worried about you and what you
> >might come across in there.
>
> I've wallpapered over the porn images.
I don't have any porn images in my head. I was more worried that you'd
find my Great Australian Novel drafts and angst pits.
> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >> Granak has all those gnome inventions at his disposal, though.
> >
> >and I'm the gnomes' union boss
>
> Granak can always call a strike.
but I know how to keep him happy
> >> >> >> >> <British time keeping>
> >> ><in the navy>
> >> <what will HM be replaced with?>
> <Republic might replace HM but the Queen will most likely stay on the currency>
> >> Because that assumes that you will have a functioning pumping mechanism at
> >> hand.
> >
> >but remember, I've also got NYPD ID and know how to use it
>
> You're going to give out traffic tickets and eat doughnuts?
apart from that, I'd go into restaurants and use the 'there isn't any
soap in your bathroom' trick. And commandeer then crash 'n slash nice
cars.
> >> >> >> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
<Bunsen, wardrobe>
> >> You could turn him into gloves and matching earmuffs, so won't catch
> >another cold.
> >
> >I'd say about enough to upholster an office chair
>
> You could always use it as a front seat cover for your car.
nah, he's not that big yet. I figure Spike might do well on the wheel.
> >soon she'll find it's one of those cars in RoboCop.
>
> It'll have to catch her first.
all together now: KZZZZZZZZZZZAPPPPPP <free x-ray>
> >you're strictly for special occasions, like when no cops are around
>
> I'm flattered.
you're wardrobe
<hit Takhy for maternity?>
> >I think she'd be pretty good at falsifying evidence...
>
> Maybe the Great Library has a copy of your birth certificate?
Astinus tends to be tightarsed about FoI.
> >> ><pillowing Altarielle>
> >> >not my exact meaning
> >>
> >> which is?
> >
> >I'd probably better let you remain blissfully innocent
>
> What a guy.
actually I was thinking of the time-honoured mafia tradition of using a
pillow as silencer and blast suppressor
> >> On your knees in the general direction will suffice.
> >
> >my rifle position is prone
>
> A 21 gun salute? I'm honored.
I can't work a bolt *that* quickly. Nah, heads o' state get 21, targets
just get one although I can make it a handcrafted boat-tailed
hollowpoint
> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in Melbourne>
> >> 6' kittens get passports?
> >
> >I at least appear human
>
> But the tail gives you away. And what happens when the Customs agent tosses a
> ball of yarn in your direction?
I can control it, and the tail's the same length as yours. And I just
grab a gun from a customs bloke, waste everybody around, and make it
look like the donor did it.
> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
> >fan's on a different plane of existence. I meant 'mates' in the Aussie
> >term -
>
> I know. Camp followers were more than just hetairi. The term also referred to
> anyone who followed an army for whatever reason. Sometimes small villages
> followed Alexander.
but of course. You realise the USAF has an officer (commissioned or
warrant) for every four enlisted men? Bearing in mind that there are
nine enlisted grades (quite pyramidal) and the basic military formation
calls for an officer in charge of forty enlisted, this is not exactly
'more teeth less tail.'
> > Kit the npc rat might not mind, but Eric Wolf and Amanda, Get of
> >Fenris, might take umbrage. And between us we nearly wiped out the
> >local police force in our Alaskan town.
>
> Nothing can overcome the fanatical zeal of worshippers on the rampage.
a bunch of newbie lycanthropes who chose the night of a vampire rampage
to first change
> >could you please stand a little closer to that light?
>
> Only if you step back three paces.
but that'd mean getting up, and the sling wound around my left wrist
makes me doubt I can use the hand to push up. The Barrett .50 rifle is
pretty heavy as well. Is it okay if my spotter does so instead?
Rohan Tolstrup, finally sending this thing after six hours. Back to
reading about stupid Americans who blame gun manufacturers for crime.
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> >> ><standard AD&D god defn assumed>
>> >> >><The standards may not apply to Krynnish gods>
<Gods operate on the rechargeable Duracell Principle>
But my question still remains -- where did the gods get the power to create
Krynn in the first place?
>> >> >> >> <Demigod-like lieutenants would be banished by powerful mortals
>and decrease fear of the gods>
<Maybe so, but it would take a long time to do it.>
<Minions would either become carbon copies of their deities or would look to
rule in their place>
>evil is defined as internal striving. Paladine et al would probably
>have proxies, who tend to have goals exactly the same as the patron. I
>think in terms of angels with no true sense of self.
Creating proxies with no sense of self-determination doesn't seem like
something the gods of good would do -- Fizban even gave a personality to a puff
of light. And furthering the angel analogy, it was God's favorite who caused
the the sundering of heaven and hell.
And any minion of Tak would most certainly try to profit from her absence,
since Tak enjoys letting her most powerful followers fight for supremacy.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><don't be the nice guy at boss' expense>
>> >> >> <the nice guy was framed because he was too popular>
<Fixing the boss' problems and advertising it largely put Anwar behind bars>
>
> Anwar should've gotten more dirt on his boss.
Dirt and backing. Dirt without someone supplying soap and water just makes for
bad hygiene.
>
>> <Fidel Tolstrup>
>> >lost me there. I presume you mean Castro, who's on record as having
>> >lead in his pencil
>>
>> Very good. You get a gold star.
>
<Cuba doesn't need an army because no one wants the US for a neighbor>
The Cuban military has a purpose -- it's too keep what's left of the middle
class there.
>> >
<Altie's left her heart in Australia?>
>>
>> My we're getting frisky, given the location of that particular organ.
>
>and such a delicacy.
Capturing my heart is considered quite a prize indeed.
>Five limbs to hold you.
Your tail's tactile?
>
<Melbourne rain dance>
>
>I'd feel too foolish, and Sean wouldn't do something he doesn't
>understand (although he's not as skeptical as he was before he sprouted
>fur and ripped up three nurses & two cops)
And you give a (pardon the pun) rat's ass what people think? Not likely.
>> <Marriot can dish it up>
>>
>just get them to shoot the table staff, or have INS stake it out
You'd empty all the kitchens in NYC if you called INS.
>
>> <Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
>>
>> It's funny how that works. I look the most like my eldest half-sister.
>
>a woman in one of my tutes says she looks more like her adoptive parents
>than the biological siblings.
At least in my case it's a little understandable -- Mercy and I do have a Dad
in common, and our mothers were both brown-eyed brunettes.
>
>> >> I don't think kender are descended from Terrence and Philip, either.
>> >
>> >"BLAME KENDERMORE"
>>
>> I blame it most for "Tales of Uncle Trapspringer" -- the book, not the
>column.
>
>DL Doublethink anybody? Trapspringer isn't meant to be a real
>character, and that's the end of the story. I even liked McKeone's
>Birthright books.
I don't mind the fact that the book was about Trapspringer -- it's the cookie
cutter stuff that stinks. The word is full of more formula books than it
needs.
>
>> ><making days>
>> >> >up there with the fourteen year-old girls bashing each other in a blow
>> >> >bar
>> >>
>> >> Down there, in this instance. I prefer watching the jousts at the Renn
>> >Faire in Stirling.
>> >
>> >do you let off remote-control firecrackers on the ground randomly?
>>
>> No, only near the guy I've bet against.
>
>gambling's sinful. Punish the pusher.
Gambling's not sinful if done in moderation. Doesn't Australia have lotteries?
> If the 'knights' weren't there you wouldn't bet on them.
I'm just adding a bit more authenticity to the picture. Do you think Arthur
didn't bet on his jousters?
>
>> >> Well equipped? I'll believe it when I see it.
>> >
>> >my thermograph tells me that 'hot-blooded' isn't just a metaphor here
>>
>> Spot on -- it's also a song by Foreigner.
>
>probably heard it. I'm looking into getting a personal compilation CD
>to play on Random in the car. They keep playing my favorites at really
>bad times.
There's supposed to be some place on the Net where you can create your own
personal compilation CD, but the name escapes me right now.
>
><Casino was kewl>
>> >can't stand her myself. I loved the situation with De Niro and Pesci.
>>
>> De Niro always acquits himself well. Pesci is okay, but I cannot stand his
>> voice.
>
>good thing about him in 'serious' movies is that he always gets whacked.
>The 'buried alive' scene probably raised audience cheers.
But it's only celluloid. There's this woman who's being sued to clip her dogs'
vocal cords so they don't bark. I think someone should go after Pesci next.
>
<Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?>
>before I took it's face off with a thermite shell from somebody else's
>twelve gauge?
Don't werewolves regenerate upon shapeshifting? He's probably looking for you
now.
>
>> >> "Folds up easily enough?" <laughs> Lord, lead me not into temptation,
>but that one was almost too good to pass up.
>> >
>> >can I recommend Nothing Personal, complete with a cool body disposal
>> >scene?
>>
>> Of course you can. I wonder where you get the idea that I don't take you
>> seriously.
>
>the cool thing about the possibility of me carking it in the next few
>years is that part of me might end up as a bar of soap in your shower.
>I should make several dozen bars.
Hmmm. You probably would raise a rather frothy lather at that.
>
>> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
>> >so you'd abuse poor Bunsen then. I'm told people are ultra-serious
>> >about little league
>>
>> Now there's a thought. I'll have Bunsen growl menacingly at the opposing
>> pitcher whenever my nephew comes up to bat.
>
>no, just make a hide and watch the game through a telescopic sight
A rifle just doesn't make as good a team mascot as a dog.
>
>> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
<The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
>
>strictly limits what she'll be able to use him for, and he'd pose
>difficulties for working with others.
Snow would have to diversify her operation eventually and can retire the
huntsman to a stable manager job. And he'd be the perfect setup candidate if
someone gets wise to her.
>
>> >> ><frisky kender>
<Amnesty International rates being surrounded by kender as cruel and unusual
punishment>
>I'm trying to get it appealed, but I need somebody to take the case on.
I hear Johnny Cochran's available.
>
<Why does my son look so much like Rohan?>
>> You want to father yourself? No wonder you look so uncannily like your
>Dad, down to the glasses. But wouldn't you implode upon conception?
>
>why the hell did I write *that*? I'm assuming it was me.
It could have been the same guy who promised to throw any man who fathered my
children out of a window (excluding himself, of course).
>Certainly the last is physically impossible because two different stages of my
>tissue would simultaneously exist.
Or it could just be an ordinary brunet, blue-eyed bouncing baby boy.
>>
>> ><Alternate ways soldiers could have killed Julia, son of Caligula>
>>
<The Senate didn't have time to kill Caligula creatively>
<Caesonia wasn't nasty, just slutty>
>
I could not believe that scene where Caligula ate his sister Drusilla's fetus.
>> >> >> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
>> >> >> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
>> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
>wizards are too valuable to not control. If you can't control them and
>they're not too hideously powerful <squelch>
But I think that mages would form profitable partnerships with the government.
Look at all the mages who served the Kingpriest despite the Proclamation of
Manifest Virtue.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
>> >> >> <The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
>> >well, we've just established that I'm not allowed to live to 41
<Rohan's damned if I do and damned if I don't>
>
>if you never have a kid then I never existed. Reckon you could've been
>a little figurative and had me being say your grandson, so I get to live
>to 60-70?
Claiming descent from me was your idea, remember?
>
<Using the Tolstup essence to create a dragon orb>
>hmm. I was thinking more in terms of the orb existing simultaneously in
>Raistlin's hands *and* Lorac's. Perhaps as an artifact it's able to
>split it's sentience, or it was partially in the 'Abyss' which possibly
>exists outside time...
You can always get one of your union gnomes to invest a Life Quest on this one.
>> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
>>
<Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
>everybody's covered in dead skin. Better get it off. Pass the spud
>peeler.
A man just doesn't cut the same figure without his butt. Think of all the jeans
that would have to be taken in.
>
>> >they made the film pretty soon after announcing it, didn't they?
>>
>> But they waited a heck of a long time between it and the Return of the
>Jedi.
>
>nobody *expected* a follow-up though.
The Star Warriors did expect more after Jedi. It's just been so long between
entries that no one remembers that.
>With CP it's the equivalent of
>getting Autumn Twilight and Winter Night, and then Weis' computer
>spontaneously combusting and taking Spring Dawning with it.
From the standpoint that Jedi provided closure on several key points, I agree
with you. But Jedi didn't capture the final death throes of the Empire, just
one major victory.
>>
>> >Certainly TPM didn't hold up an entire product line.
>>
>> It kept a franchise creatively dormant for quite a long time. Not that TPM
>has succeeded in revitalizing it.
>
>Star Wars rpg and a lot of comics etc... the Zahn books are something I
>liked more than the originals.
I remember reading a trio of books about Han Solo, and then the "Courtship of
Princess Leia" and then swearing off the novels.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
>> >muhahahahaha
>>
>> I forgot you were ticklish. Cootchie Cootchie Coo.
>
>that's not my 'I'm being tickled and it *rocks*' laugh
No, it's your "I'm a devilishly mysterious koala" laugh.
>
>> >> <Rohan believes all celebrities are minions of Satan>
>> >> <There are some nice normal celebrities out there>
>> >> Feel free to accost Ralph Bashki and George Lucas and give them a piece
>of your mind.
>> >
>> >my piece, their minds...
>>
>> That works too. Make sure there will be no sequel to that Lord of the
>Rings cartoon.
>
>I thought I'd just Lennon a few celebs
I can't believe the horrible animated cell Bakshi put up for auction for a
charity. It was supposed to be the RingWraiths, but they looked like a
Rorshach test.
>
>> >> There are some questions about Norway that she wanted to get cleared up.
>> >
>> >so the real reason Dad and Bunsen have taken her down to the beachhouse
>> >is to whack her and feed her to the penguins?
>>
>> No, I was discreet about the girl talk.
>
>she's old enough to be *your* mother, although she's not the type
Some things cut across all age barriers.
>>
>> A beachhouse, penguins, and Bunsen? Your Dad's a romantic. That's actually
>> pretty cool.
>
>plenty of nice swampland. Family pilgrimage site, Mum's family's been
>going down there for about fifty years and we've got a house there.
Still cool though, the idea of having penguins about. A squirrel is as exotic
as my backyard gets.
>
>> >'time' is relative. Either way I'm doomed here - although maybe I could
>> >give myself a bit longer by going back to '68 or whenever and arranging
>> >for your future mother to get locked up for ten years...
>>
>> So you're planning a reverse Fistandantilus?
>
>wouldn't you?
You'd be delaying the inevitable. And unless a kender pops up, you wouldn't
change the past at all.
>
>> >> >> ><flipping off Crysania>
>> >> <The KoS disregarding Crysania would be like Luther defying the Pope>
>> >> >
>> <Elistan's converts were at the root of the KoS, so they'd respect
>Crysania>
>>
>> Elistan was the major figure that they followed during the war. Given his
>> illness, Elistan was probably more concerned about his succession plan than
>the Measure.
>
>Crysania's the anointed successor, and the KoS mindset is given to
>hierarchy. It's possible that the KoS were actually subordinate to the
>Kingpriests in a spiritual fashion, the separate existence coming from
>the fiction that Istar had a distinct civil government.
But there was no Church hierarchy in the years between the first Cataclysm and
the WotL. If the KoS were subordinate to the Kingpriest, then they would have
unlearned that obedience within that timeframe.
> And Elistan would've made certain that the KoS would respect Crysania.
>After all, she was the main peacetime leader of the good orders and the one
>implementing the reforms I've written about.
No question that the Knights would have respected Crysania as Paladine's
representative. But with the little time Elistan had left to him, he would
have been training Crysania on being a good clerical leader, not on how to
reform the Measure. Crysania pretty much squandered the remaining weeks of
Elistan's life chasing after Raistlin.
>
>> >> >> ><explosive attire, underwear required>
>> >> <hugging the rock hard column>
>> >little lesson in engineering: one pillar alone will not hold up a
>> >building. However, destroy one of several pillars and the building will
>> >collapse.
>>
>> Thanks, teach. What's tomorrow's lesson?
>
>Revolutions For Dummies
Per your description, you're not going to have a full register for your class
from among your fellow Aussie voters.
>
>> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
>> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
>> For the elves, first. Didn't getting Silvanesti in order take at least 10
>> years? Where would they get time to deal with the Measure, especially when
>> Laurana didn't even like to go to the Armistice celebrations in Palanthas?
>
>as I've pointed out, although the *main focus* of the Silvanesti was on
>getting their home back, that doesn't mean there weren't highly-placed
>elves (say Gilthanas before he disappeared) with a keen interest in the
>greater world.
And we'll never agree on this one, because the elves have never shown any
interest in human politics, unless it's an obvious threat to their
civilization. That would make these highly placed elves something like UN
observers. And observers don't raise the alarm unless something directly
impacts the security of the nations they represent.
> Laurana's job description was to shuttle between courts
>and build trust between them; that assertation sounds ridiculous, unless
>they simply meant that she preferred quiet individual dealings with
>people she knew to huge parades like that one in Kalaman.
And how much of that job was going between Silvanost and Qualinost? I seem to
remember Tanis mentioning in DoSF(?) that Laurana spent time with Alhana trying
to heal the trees of Silvanesti.
>
>> >> >> ><Vietnam syndrome>
>> <Nixon took a hit on foreign policy but no one cared as long as the US sent
>> cash and troops>
>>
<The US Constitution was in better shape than the Measure>
> I'm thinking in terms of how the western alliance nearly collapsed because
> of the Suez crisis (Israelis provoked a fight with Nasser's Egypt, Brits &
> Frogs give a one-sided 'peacekeeping' ultimatum as an excuse to invade)
But that's a different example than the Krynnish "allied nations" interfering
with the Solamnic Measure for the knights own good. To continue your analogy,
if the KoT merger talks would have gone on further than they did in the Rose
and the Skull, both the dwarven and elven nations would have been insane not to
issue some ultimatums to Solamnia about allying with Mirielle Abrena. That's a
threat to the sovereign status of Silvanesti and Qualinesti.
>
>> >> <Sturm did not become an activist knights because he thought the HotL
>were doing a better job of helping others>
<Sturm could grow up to be Vinus Solamnus or Jimmy Carter>
>>
>Carter saw everything through rose-coloured glasses until the Russians
>pulled a Vietnam in Afghanistan, when he went postal and trashed
>detente. Sturm seemed to have a much better grasp of reality than the
>dixiecrat governor with no foreign policy experience.
Sturm did have a better grasp of what needed to get done. But like Jimmy, I
don't think he would have had the political instinct to take care of
Crownguard. Sturm was too much into obeying the hierarchy.
>
>> >> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and Rohan
>> >> disagrees>
>> >> >
>> <East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
>the idea of a split in the forces of good (with the dissenting faction
>being actively supported by Caramon and Tika, who should know better)
>goes heavily against the concept of Dragonlance. I see the LoS as a
>'Bear Cult' type organisation. It's 'enlightened behaviour' is no
>different from how the KoS act if they're serious about the Oath.
Unfortunately, the only difference of value between the KoS and LoS is that the
admission requirements are not as restrictive in the LoS. The analogy between
the LoS and the Bear cult is a good one, except the Bear cult is the more
exclusionary organization -- no one but Alorns could join.
>
<Linsha's vision won't satisfy your curiosity>
>and I've already pointed out that Sara Dunstan could've been having a
>drug trip or influenced by the Shadow Sorceror.
The Shadow Sorceror really doesn't explain Linsha's vision, although it's
plausible for Sara. If anything, it's a microcosm demonstrating that mortals
can go on without the gods.
>
<Bunsen's chasing penguins, so Spike will have to stand in>
>
>I doubt Bunsen has Spike's "kill shit" instinct, but he'd probably have
>fun with the bunnies around there. Really I should put a few remote
>Claymore mines along the beach and then let the Japanese tourists record
>him cleaning up the carnage.
Aren't you worried he'll get sick? E Coli can be passed on by gnawing infected
meat.
>
>> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
>> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
<The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
>> Fall-in Fizban would also annoyingly leave the seat up.
>
>that boy's dominated by his women I'd say. I'd be more worried about
>Sirrion than Chemosh anyway - Chemosh is just a pile of bones (probably
>pretty clean by now, one npc apparently got off on stark ivory), while
>Sirrion melts plastic seats and turns the porcelain model into a cookpot
Another reason not to cut off butt cheeks -- they protect vital areas against
third degree burns.
>> >
>> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
>> >either the force is fighting the Indonesian govt or half the military.
>> >I'm not sure whether they'd be fighting more troops if it was full war.
>>
>> Clinton's now said he's not opposed to sending in peace keepers. It will
>get uglier before it gets better.
>
>did I mention they're not talking sending 'em in for weeks? Already
>Dili has been Que Shu'd, and that's just what we know about. Those poor
>bastards will have *nothing*.
That's the sad part -- by the time the peacekeepers get there, it will be a mop
up operation. Unfortunately, no one ever wants to get tough and take a stand
before the countryside goes up in flames. It's not as if no one could see this
coming -- my friends were pulled out of Indonesia months ago.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
>> >> A stash of puppies? Bunsen's a father?
>> >
>> >nah. Physically impossible. Remember, I've got several identical labs.
>>
>> So you've clipped Bunsen, too. It's dangerous for male pets in your home,
>eh?
>
>I don't make the law. The whole 'fixing' mentality (he has testicles so
>he's broken) is a scary social phenomenon.
Law? Is it mandatory in Australia? Or just prudent pet population control on
your family's part?
>
>> <Phoenix produces sandpaper skin>
>>
>> >I'm solarphobic. Of course, you've never actually *seen* the sun
>> >before, so it's different.
>>
>> New York does have summers, Koalataur. So does the Carribean and the
>> Southwest.
>
>having experienced winter in DC and Boston...
It's called winter for a reason, Koalataur. Why'd you pick an inhospitable
season to go touring?
>
>> >I've been paranoid about skin cancer for
>> >most of my life.
>>
>> Living mostly in NYC, that is not a problem, true. But why do you think
>you're especially susceptible?
>
>I just dislike the sensation of being sunburned. Also when I was nine I
>got 2nd degree burns to the outer ankle of my right foot and the back of
>my left (hot ashes down boots, ran through a firepit), and I'd rather
>not go through that again.
Ouch. So being the Dino of Flame comes naturally. Did it scar?
The worst thing I did was stick beans up my nose when I was about three or
four. I remember being held down by my parents as my doctor pulled them out.
And don't ask me why I did it -- it just seemed like a good idea at the time.
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>> >Vee is curry
>>
>> No she's furry.
>
>that's the second thing to go. Seen the Simpsons episode where they get
>stuck in Japan?
My cat will never surrender and become Ms. Bigglesworth.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
>> ><Reservoir Gods>
>> >wasn't it Hiddukel who screwed up? Gilean failed to carry out his duty.
>>
>> Reorx fell for it though.
>
>I'd say diminished responsibility. In any event, certainly Paladine
>broke his own law ('good redeems its own'), and Gilean breached the
>fundamental duty of neutrality - to whip the others into line to deal
>with external threats.
They're all to blame. But Paladine was placed between the rock and the hard
place, with Gilean vacillating the way he did.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
><Capriciossa 9mm)
>> >but with one you can get another...
>>
>> You can always knock over a bakery on your way to Renton.
>
<Renton may pack a punch>
But you need a challenge every now and then to stay sharp.
>
>> >> ><leave a light on for me>
<singing lessons by appointment only>
>>
>> No external aid is allowed during the Test.
>
>I thought it was traditional that getting *out* was their affair. And
>all I'll need will be a kitchen knife and what cricketers call a box.
Props escalate the difficulty of the Test accordingly.
>
>> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
>> >> I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about Bunsen when
>> >Satan comes go collect his Leaves II payment.
>> >
>> >I'd rather not repeat what I did to get into Leaves II. I feel dirty.
>>
>> You showed him the birthmark, didn't you?
>
>a little more imaginative than that, but I'm trying to suppress
Say no more. The videotape will hit the internet anytime now. Maybe Kinthalas
can post the URL on his site.
>
<Puckering deflects pistols>
>it's not like I impregnate my jocks with essence of effluvia.
That's good. It would be awkward to do this while holding my nose.
>Bending might be a bad idea, so are you using a stepladder?
I'll stand on the porch. It'll give me the added protection of the railing.
>
>> >> >> ><splash>
>> >> ><NY, NY>
>> >> >> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
>> <American Gladiators are gone and we're both glad>
>> >before you kill me, can I give my acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace
>> >Prize?
>>
>> If you leave me the prize money in your will.
>
>now all I've got to do is *get* the prize
You can always make a go for the monthly prizes in Reader's Digest.
>
>> <Blue eyes, Rolling Stones T-Shirt>
>>
>> >America being *that* censored I suppose... I'd better not send you fotos
>>
>> It can't be that bad a T-shirt. And since when are eyes dirty?
>
>my eyes aren't especially dirty, but I can imagine American fashion
>police reining in on more colourful quotes.
Only if you stroll into a school or church.
>
>> >> >getoutofmymind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> >>
>> >> Why? It's roomier in here than my 6 room apartment. I think there's
>even
>> >> space her for a cat room for Vee and Gilbert.
>> >
>> >sure you've got the right head? I'm more worried about you and what you
>> >might come across in there.
>>
>> I've wallpapered over the porn images.
>
>I don't have any porn images in my head. I was more worried that you'd
>find my Great Australian Novel drafts and angst pits.
I'm roasting chicken over the angst pits, and the novel makes great blackmail
material.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
<Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
Suppose keeping him happy involves electing a new union boss?
<Playing cops and stalkers>
>> >
>> >but remember, I've also got NYPD ID and know how to use it
>>
>> You're going to give out traffic tickets and eat doughnuts?
>
>apart from that, I'd go into restaurants and use the 'there isn't any
>soap in your bathroom' trick. And commandeer then crash 'n slash nice
>cars.
The car part really happens more in LA than here.
>
>> >> >> >> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
><Bunsen, wardrobe>
>> You could always use it as a front seat cover for your car.
>
>nah, he's not that big yet. I figure Spike might do well on the wheel.
Spike might make good fuzzy dice.
<Another attempt on the resilient Vee cat>
>
>all together now: KZZZZZZZZZZZAPPPPPP <free x-ray>
Vee effectively dodged flames to escape a fire. I think she's covered.
>
>> >you're strictly for special occasions, like when no cops are around
>>
>> I'm flattered.
>
>you're wardrobe
Embracing your feminine side again. How contemporary.
>
><hit Takhy for maternity?>
>> >I think she'd be pretty good at falsifying evidence...
>>
>> Maybe the Great Library has a copy of your birth certificate?
>
>Astinus tends to be tightarsed about FoI.
But Bertrem might feel sorry for you and let you take a peek.
>
>> >> ><pillowing Altarielle>
>> >> >not my exact meaning
>> >>
>> >> which is?
>> >
>> >I'd probably better let you remain blissfully innocent
>>
>> What a guy.
>
>actually I was thinking of the time-honoured mafia tradition of using a
>pillow as silencer and blast suppressor
But both your hands are occupied, and both my hands and feet are free (and
agile.)
>
>> >> On your knees in the general direction will suffice.
>> >
>> >my rifle position is prone
>>
>> A 21 gun salute? I'm honored.
>
>I can't work a bolt *that* quickly. Nah, heads o' state get 21, targets
>just get one although I can make it a handcrafted boat-tailed
>hollowpoint
That assumes you'll have a target to hit. How ingenuously confident.
>
>> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in
>Melbourne>
>> >> 6' kittens get passports?
>> >
>> >I at least appear human
>>
>> But the tail gives you away. And what happens when the Customs agent
>tosses a ball of yarn in your direction?
>
>I can control it, and the tail's the same length as yours.
I get chauffered aboard in a luxury kitty carrier though.
>And I just grab a gun from a customs bloke, waste everybody around,
>and make it look like the donor did it.
I think the alarms and the survellience cameras will make this rather
difficult.
>
>> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>
>but of course. You realise the USAF has an officer (commissioned or
>warrant) for every four enlisted men? Bearing in mind that there are
>nine enlisted grades (quite pyramidal) and the basic military formation
>calls for an officer in charge of forty enlisted, this is not exactly
>'more teeth less tail.'
All that for one cat? Vee'll be flattered enough not to hurt Sean too badly.
<Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
> Nothing can overcome the fanatical zeal of worshippers on the rampage.
a bunch of newbie lycanthropes who chose the night of a vampire rampage
to first change
Inexperience vs a legion that trains only to protect its goddess? Only if
these lycanthropes were created by Salvatore.
>> >could you please stand a little closer to that light?
>
>> Only if you step back three paces.
>but that'd mean getting up, and the sling wound around my left wrist
>makes me doubt I can use the hand to push up. The Barrett .50 rifle is
>pretty heavy as well. Is it okay if my spotter does so instead?
On second thought, if you could just lay there still for one more second ...
Tolstrup
> But my question still remains -- where did the gods get the power to create
> Krynn in the first place?
they 'appeared' with it, part of the God Starter Kit
> <Minions would either become carbon copies of their deities or would look to
> rule in their place>
> Creating proxies with no sense of self-determination doesn't seem like
> something the gods of good would do -- Fizban even gave a personality to a puff
> of light. And furthering the angel analogy, it was God's favorite who caused
> the the sundering of heaven and hell.
as in they're perfect and without arrogance. What is still most
important is the choices of Krynnish *mortals* to whom the rules apply.
>
> And any minion of Tak would most certainly try to profit from her absence,
> since Tak enjoys letting her most powerful followers fight for supremacy.
a good arse-whuppin' will keep 'em in line more or less. They'll still
subtly try to knock her off, 'while giving the appearance of loyalty.'
It keeps them efficient.
> > Anwar should've gotten more dirt on his boss.
>
> Dirt and backing. Dirt without someone supplying soap and water just makes for
> bad hygiene.
that Mahathir was openly contemptuous of world opinion...
> >> <Fidel Tolstrup>
> <Cuba doesn't need an army because no one wants the US for a neighbor>
>
> The Cuban military has a purpose -- it's too keep what's left of the middle
> class there.
so we've got a police force. Add a light boat coast guard and a few
MiGs and they won't be much of a problem.
> <Altie's left her heart in Australia?>
> Capturing my heart is considered quite a prize indeed.
I'll be around with my equipment in the morning
> >Five limbs to hold you.
>
> Your tail's tactile?
Sean's is. Last used to throw grenades while he was full-Nelsoned.
> <Melbourne rain dance>
> And you give a (pardon the pun) rat's ass what people think? Not likely.
since when was I meant to be consistent?
> >> <Marriot can dish it up>
> >>
> >just get them to shoot the table staff, or have INS stake it out
>
> You'd empty all the kitchens in NYC if you called INS.
so you stay out?
> >> <Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
> >a woman in one of my tutes says she looks more like her adoptive parents
> >than the biological siblings.
>
> At least in my case it's a little understandable -- Mercy and I do have a Dad
> in common, and our mothers were both brown-eyed brunettes.
Iron Throne has a great example of Laera Roele doing something similar
<Mothers Against Kendermore>
> >DL Doublethink anybody? Trapspringer isn't meant to be a real
> >character, and that's the end of the story. I even liked McKeone's
> >Birthright books.
>
> I don't mind the fact that the book was about Trapspringer -- it's the cookie
> cutter stuff that stinks. The word is full of more formula books than it
> needs.
ever read anything by Jack Higgins or Piers Anthony? Other crappy
authors include Julian Jay Savarin, Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens,
and the authors of what seems to be a Hitler assassination industry.
> >> ><making days>
> >> >do you let off remote-control firecrackers on the ground randomly?
> >>
> >> No, only near the guy I've bet against.
> >
> >gambling's sinful. Punish the pusher.
> Gambling's not sinful if done in moderation. Doesn't Australia have lotteries?
we've got a government-promoted casino which must be the most accessible
spot in the inner city. But of course the Premier refuses competition.
> > If the 'knights' weren't there you wouldn't bet on them.
>
> I'm just adding a bit more authenticity to the picture. Do you think Arthur
> didn't bet on his jousters?
Arthur was a celtic chief if he ever existed
> >> >my thermograph tells me that 'hot-blooded' isn't just a metaphor here
> >>
> >> Spot on -- it's also a song by Foreigner.
> >
> >probably heard it. I'm looking into getting a personal compilation CD
> >to play on Random in the car. They keep playing my favorites at really
> >bad times.
>
> There's supposed to be some place on the Net where you can create your own
> personal compilation CD, but the name escapes me right now.
dammit. Would you believe 'Music' in the Yellow Pages doesn't include
the place you buy recorded music?
> ><Casino was kewl>
<Pesci getting buried alive, Yay!>
> But it's only celluloid. There's this woman who's being sued to clip her dogs'
> vocal cords so they don't bark. I think someone should go after Pesci next.
and Fran Drescher, and.... to hell with it. Voluntary extinction.
> <Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?>
>
> >before I took it's face off with a thermite shell from somebody else's
> >twelve gauge?
>
> Don't werewolves regenerate upon shapeshifting? He's probably looking for you
> now.
hard to regenerate from thermite
> >the cool thing about the possibility of me carking it in the next few
> >years is that part of me might end up as a bar of soap in your shower.
> >I should make several dozen bars.
>
> Hmmm. You probably would raise a rather frothy lather at that.
I'd be all over you
> >> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
> >> Now there's a thought. I'll have Bunsen growl menacingly at the opposing
> >> pitcher whenever my nephew comes up to bat.
> >
> >no, just make a hide and watch the game through a telescopic sight
>
> A rifle just doesn't make as good a team mascot as a dog.
use Bunsen as a diversion then. I mowed the lawn today and literally
scared the shit out of him with the mower. My other labours included
cleaning up a doormat he'd killed and roasting pork 'n veggies, which
both me and Dad survived.
> >> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
> >
> >strictly limits what she'll be able to use him for, and he'd pose
> >difficulties for working with others.
>
> Snow would have to diversify her operation eventually and can retire the
> huntsman to a stable manager job. And he'd be the perfect setup candidate if
> someone gets wise to her.
have to be careful though. I'd use him as a clay pigeon like Laurana
used Sturm.
> >> >> ><frisky kender>
> <Amnesty International rates being surrounded by kender as cruel and unusual
> punishment>
>
> >I'm trying to get it appealed, but I need somebody to take the case on.
>
> I hear Johnny Cochran's available.
he's not on the Victorian Bar Roll, and my alternate just got arrested
for importing six million worth of cocaine.
> >
> <Why does my son look so much like Rohan?>
>
> >> You want to father yourself? No wonder you look so uncannily like your
> >Dad, down to the glasses. But wouldn't you implode upon conception?
> >
> >why the hell did I write *that*? I'm assuming it was me.
>
> It could have been the same guy who promised to throw any man who fathered my
> children out of a window (excluding himself, of course).
never met him
> >Certainly the last is physically impossible because two different stages of my
> >tissue would simultaneously exist.
> Or it could just be an ordinary brunet, blue-eyed bouncing baby boy.
I was blond originally. But the paradox sounds like fun.
> >> ><Alternate ways soldiers could have killed Julia, son of Caligula>
> >>
> <The Senate didn't have time to kill Caligula creatively>
>
> <Caesonia wasn't nasty, just slutty>
> >
> I could not believe that scene where Caligula ate his sister Drusilla's fetus.
eww. Penthouse stuck with corpse manipulation.
> >> >> >> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
> >> >> >> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
> >> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
>
> >wizards are too valuable to not control. If you can't control them and
> >they're not too hideously powerful <squelch>
>
> But I think that mages would form profitable partnerships with the government.
> Look at all the mages who served the Kingpriest despite the Proclamation of
> Manifest Virtue.
they presumably were under tight control. If they don't have families,
they can always be hogtied and dumped at the border of Wayreth. No
matter the nature, nobody wants wizards working against them.
> >> >> >> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
> >> >> >> <The world can't handle more than one Rohan at a time>
> >> >well, we've just established that I'm not allowed to live to 41
> <Rohan's damned if I do and damned if I don't>
> >
> >if you never have a kid then I never existed. Reckon you could've been
> >a little figurative and had me being say your grandson, so I get to live
> >to 60-70?
>
> Claiming descent from me was your idea, remember?
you called me your son
> <Using the Tolstup essence to create a dragon orb>
>
> >hmm. I was thinking more in terms of the orb existing simultaneously in
> >Raistlin's hands *and* Lorac's. Perhaps as an artifact it's able to
> >split it's sentience, or it was partially in the 'Abyss' which possibly
> >exists outside time...
>
> You can always get one of your union gnomes to invest a Life Quest on this one.
got a platoon of 'em working on continuity already
> >> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
> >>
> <Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
>
> >everybody's covered in dead skin. Better get it off. Pass the spud
> >peeler.
>
> A man just doesn't cut the same figure without his butt. Think of all the jeans
> that would have to be taken in.
but so much freedom!
> >nobody *expected* a follow-up though.
>
> The Star Warriors did expect more after Jedi. It's just been so long between
> entries that no one remembers that.
I wasn't 21 when the last flick came out, remember?
> >With CP it's the equivalent of
> >getting Autumn Twilight and Winter Night, and then Weis' computer
> >spontaneously combusting and taking Spring Dawning with it.
>
> From the standpoint that Jedi provided closure on several key points, I agree
> with you. But Jedi didn't capture the final death throes of the Empire, just
> one major victory.
Zahn covered that pretty well, although my understanding is that Lucas
made it a real make-or-break. *All* the rebs played chicken with most
of the Imperial fleet, who 'fought like cadets' (Zahn) after the emperor
(who'd been mind-controlling the lot) was wasted.
whazza? I was talking about CP.
> >> >Certainly TPM didn't hold up an entire product line.
> >>
> >> It kept a franchise creatively dormant for quite a long time. Not that TPM
> >has succeeded in revitalizing it.
> >
> >Star Wars rpg and a lot of comics etc... the Zahn books are something I
> >liked more than the originals.
>
> I remember reading a trio of books about Han Solo, and then the "Courtship of
> Princess Leia" and then swearing off the novels.
a couple of books, essentially Preludes, sucked, but Zahn actually added
a third dimension - a reassertion of the Empire's deadly competence,
much better characters with shades of grey, and a very real sense of 'we
won, now what?'
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <putting Rohan under my spell>
> >> >muhahahahaha
> >>
> >> I forgot you were ticklish. Cootchie Cootchie Coo.
> >
> >that's not my 'I'm being tickled and it *rocks*' laugh
>
> No, it's your "I'm a devilishly mysterious koala" laugh.
that's open to interpretation
> >> >> <Rohan believes all celebrities are minions of Satan>
> >> >> <There are some nice normal celebrities out there>
> >I thought I'd just Lennon a few celebs
>
> I can't believe the horrible animated cell Bakshi put up for auction for a
> charity. It was supposed to be the RingWraiths, but they looked like a
> Rorshach test.
God has passed sentence. It is your task to carry it out.
> >she's old enough to be *your* mother, although she's not the type
>
> Some things cut across all age barriers.
what, like that book supposedly written by Weis and her son? I didn't
really think he'd ask his mother which position a woman would adopt when
getting under the covers with her bubonic husband. Sequel when?
> >plenty of nice swampland. Family pilgrimage site, Mum's family's been
> >going down there for about fifty years and we've got a house there.
>
> Still cool though, the idea of having penguins about. A squirrel is as exotic
> as my backyard gets.
does your gun cabinet get more exotic than a .22?
> >> So you're planning a reverse Fistandantilus?
> >
> >wouldn't you?
>
> You'd be delaying the inevitable. And unless a kender pops up, you wouldn't
> change the past at all.
either way I'm up shit creek
> >> <Elistan's converts were at the root of the KoS, so they'd respect
> >Crysania>
> >Crysania's the anointed successor, and the KoS mindset is given to
> >hierarchy. It's possible that the KoS were actually subordinate to the
> >Kingpriests in a spiritual fashion, the separate existence coming from
> >the fiction that Istar had a distinct civil government.
>
> But there was no Church hierarchy in the years between the first Cataclysm and
> the WotL. If the KoS were subordinate to the Kingpriest, then they would have
> unlearned that obedience within that timeframe.
they're also just getting used to having an Order of the Sword again.
Probably one of the High Clerist's duties was as liason to the church.
> > And Elistan would've made certain that the KoS would respect Crysania.
> >After all, she was the main peacetime leader of the good orders and the one
> >implementing the reforms I've written about.
>
> No question that the Knights would have respected Crysania as Paladine's
> representative. But with the little time Elistan had left to him, he would
> have been training Crysania on being a good clerical leader, not on how to
> reform the Measure. Crysania pretty much squandered the remaining weeks of
> Elistan's life chasing after Raistlin.
Crysania was smart enough to figure things out for herself. We're
assuming she was taught something of politics, being a leader and all.
> >> >> >> ><explosive attire, underwear required>
> >> >> <hugging the rock hard column>
> >> >little lesson in engineering: one pillar alone will not hold up a
> >> >building. However, destroy one of several pillars and the building will
> >> >collapse.
> >>
> >> Thanks, teach. What's tomorrow's lesson?
> >
> >Revolutions For Dummies
>
> Per your description, you're not going to have a full register for your class
> from among your fellow Aussie voters.
I go internationale
> >> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
> >> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
> >as I've pointed out, although the *main focus* of the Silvanesti was on
> >getting their home back, that doesn't mean there weren't highly-placed
> >elves (say Gilthanas before he disappeared) with a keen interest in the
> >greater world.
>
> And we'll never agree on this one, because the elves have never shown any
> interest in human politics, unless it's an obvious threat to their
> civilization. That would make these highly placed elves something like UN
> observers. And observers don't raise the alarm unless something directly
> impacts the security of the nations they represent.
well, I'd say that the KoS not being serious about reform indicates the
viability of the alliance - a key concern to the Qualinesti Senate. And
besides, there will always be shouting, what's important is who's
listening. And it's a fair assumption Porthios is with at least one ear
> > Laurana's job description was to shuttle between courts
> >and build trust between them; that assertation sounds ridiculous, unless
> >they simply meant that she preferred quiet individual dealings with
> >people she knew to huge parades like that one in Kalaman.
>
> And how much of that job was going between Silvanost and Qualinost? I seem to
> remember Tanis mentioning in DoSF(?) that Laurana spent time with Alhana trying
> to heal the trees of Silvanesti.
it figures that they'd split their time. Logically she went from
spending about a year doing that to hanging around Sancrist building up
contacts or a Marquis de Sade book getting played like a guitar
> >> >> >> ><Vietnam syndrome>
> >> <Nixon took a hit on foreign policy but no one cared as long as the US sent
> >> cash and troops>
> >>
> <The US Constitution was in better shape than the Measure>
<Suez Crisis comparison>
> But that's a different example than the Krynnish "allied nations" interfering
> with the Solamnic Measure for the knights own good. To continue your analogy,
> if the KoT merger talks would have gone on further than they did in the Rose
> and the Skull, both the dwarven and elven nations would have been insane not to
> issue some ultimatums to Solamnia about allying with Mirielle Abrena. That's a
> threat to the sovereign status of Silvanesti and Qualinesti.
that's one reason I doubt R&S' canonical status. The KoT can only be
rehabilitated if they regain their honour, which means losing Abrena.
> >> >> <Sturm did not become an activist knights because he thought the HotL
> >were doing a better job of helping others>
> <Sturm could grow up to be Vinus Solamnus or Jimmy Carter>
> Sturm did have a better grasp of what needed to get done. But like Jimmy, I
> don't think he would have had the political instinct to take care of
> Crownguard. Sturm was too much into obeying the hierarchy.
he would've made a good figurehead then. I can think of a lot of ways
he could have made a difference within the knighthood.
> >> >> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and Rohan
> >> >> disagrees>
> >> >> >
> >> <East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
>
> >the idea of a split in the forces of good (with the dissenting faction
> >being actively supported by Caramon and Tika, who should know better)
> >goes heavily against the concept of Dragonlance. I see the LoS as a
> >'Bear Cult' type organisation. It's 'enlightened behaviour' is no
> >different from how the KoS act if they're serious about the Oath.
>
> Unfortunately, the only difference of value between the KoS and LoS is that the
> admission requirements are not as restrictive in the LoS. The analogy between
> the LoS and the Bear cult is a good one, except the Bear cult is the more
> exclusionary organization -- no one but Alorns could join.
the analogy is that both are well-meaning but superfluous - Bear Cult is
ethnic supremacist, LoS is the Democrats.
> <Linsha's vision won't satisfy your curiosity>
>
> >and I've already pointed out that Sara Dunstan could've been having a
> >drug trip or influenced by the Shadow Sorceror.
>
> The Shadow Sorceror really doesn't explain Linsha's vision, although it's
> plausible for Sara. If anything, it's a microcosm demonstrating that mortals
> can go on without the gods.
this feels a lot like 1984, with all these explanations suddenly popping
up after only four years.
> <Bunsen's chasing penguins, so Spike will have to stand in>
> >
> >I doubt Bunsen has Spike's "kill shit" instinct, but he'd probably have
> >fun with the bunnies around there. Really I should put a few remote
> >Claymore mines along the beach and then let the Japanese tourists record
> >him cleaning up the carnage.
>
> Aren't you worried he'll get sick? E Coli can be passed on by gnawing infected
> meat.
like I said, I've got a stash of identical labs
> >> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
> >> Fall-in Fizban would also annoyingly leave the seat up.
> >that boy's dominated by his women I'd say. I'd be more worried about
> >Sirrion than Chemosh anyway - Chemosh is just a pile of bones (probably
> >pretty clean by now, one npc apparently got off on stark ivory), while
> >Sirrion melts plastic seats and turns the porcelain model into a cookpot
>
> Another reason not to cut off butt cheeks -- they protect vital areas against
> third degree burns.
this is the reason only the good gods are allowed in
> >> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
> >did I mention they're not talking sending 'em in for weeks? Already
> >Dili has been Que Shu'd, and that's just what we know about. Those poor
> >bastards will have *nothing*.
>
> That's the sad part -- by the time the peacekeepers get there, it will be a mop
> up operation. Unfortunately, no one ever wants to get tough and take a stand
> before the countryside goes up in flames. It's not as if no one could see this
> coming -- my friends were pulled out of Indonesia months ago.
the bastards invaded 24 years ago
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Bunsen to earn his keep as a Retriever>
> >I don't make the law. The whole 'fixing' mentality (he has testicles so
> >he's broken) is a scary social phenomenon.
>
> Law? Is it mandatory in Australia? Or just prudent pet population control on
> your family's part?
the latter. Licensing practice is that you have to pay about three
times as much if the pet isn't fixed. They don't legislate, they just
put the price up.
> >> <Phoenix produces sandpaper skin>
> >having experienced winter in DC and Boston...
>
> It's called winter for a reason, Koalataur. Why'd you pick an inhospitable
> season to go touring?
ask Dad. My guess is that I was on uni break.
> Ouch. So being the Dino of Flame comes naturally. Did it scar?
yep. Still got the bloody things. I don't especially like fire.
> The worst thing I did was stick beans up my nose when I was about three or
> four. I remember being held down by my parents as my doctor pulled them out.
> And don't ask me why I did it -- it just seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not going to lecture anybody on rationality right now
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
> >> >Vee is curry
> >>
> >> No she's furry.
> >
> >that's the second thing to go. Seen the Simpsons episode where they get
> >stuck in Japan?
>
> My cat will never surrender and become Ms. Bigglesworth.
'knife goes in, guts come out'
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Gilean will give Rohan his big break someday>
> >> ><Reservoir Gods>
> They're all to blame. But Paladine was placed between the rock and the hard
> place, with Gilean vacillating the way he did.
> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
> ><Capriciossa 9mm)
> <Renton may pack a punch>
>
> But you need a challenge every now and then to stay sharp.
like Miss Ripley said
> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
> <singing lessons by appointment only>
> >>
> >> No external aid is allowed during the Test.
> >
> >I thought it was traditional that getting *out* was their affair. And
> >all I'll need will be a kitchen knife and what cricketers call a box.
>
> Props escalate the difficulty of the Test accordingly.
well, the box should decrease difficulty, although running may become
something of a problem.
> >> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
> >> >I'd rather not repeat what I did to get into Leaves II. I feel dirty.
> >>
> >> You showed him the birthmark, didn't you?
> >
> >a little more imaginative than that, but I'm trying to suppress
>
> Say no more. The videotape will hit the internet anytime now. Maybe Kinthalas
> can post the URL on his site.
and I can mail *@aol.com with his real name, phone number and address?
> <Puckering deflects pistols>
>
> >it's not like I impregnate my jocks with essence of effluvia.
>
> That's good. It would be awkward to do this while holding my nose.
oh, I've alread sealed your nostrils
> >Bending might be a bad idea, so are you using a stepladder?
>
> I'll stand on the porch. It'll give me the added protection of the railing.
ever flipped forward over a railing? I believe you have long hair.
> >> >> >> ><splash>
> >> >> ><NY, NY>
> >> >> >> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
> >> <American Gladiators are gone and we're both glad>
> >> >before you kill me, can I give my acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace
> >> >Prize?
> >>
> >> If you leave me the prize money in your will.
> >
> >now all I've got to do is *get* the prize
>
> You can always make a go for the monthly prizes in Reader's Digest.
although it might take me decades I can't die without being handed the
Nobel and giving my speech.
> >> <Blue eyes, Rolling Stones T-Shirt>
> >my eyes aren't especially dirty, but I can imagine American fashion
> >police reining in on more colourful quotes.
>
> Only if you stroll into a school or church.
bloody fascists
<getoutofmymind!>
> >I don't have any porn images in my head. I was more worried that you'd
> >find my Great Australian Novel drafts and angst pits.
>
> I'm roasting chicken over the angst pits, and the novel makes great blackmail
> material.
you sure you want to *eat* that? And in your opinion, now Turdmeister's
got Justine the Bitch nailed to the table, what should he do?
> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> <Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
>
> Suppose keeping him happy involves electing a new union boss?
I'll step down while retaining substantive control
> <Playing cops and stalkers>
> >apart from that, I'd go into restaurants and use the 'there isn't any
> >soap in your bathroom' trick. And commandeer then crash 'n slash nice
> >cars.
>
> The car part really happens more in LA than here.
if that's what you like to think
> >> >> >> >> <Altarielle went to Phoenix to mete out corporate justice>
> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
> >> You could always use it as a front seat cover for your car.
> >
> >nah, he's not that big yet. I figure Spike might do well on the wheel.
>
> Spike might make good fuzzy dice.
but those are illegal: they block the view
> <Another attempt on the resilient Vee cat>
> >
> >all together now: KZZZZZZZZZZZAPPPPPP <free x-ray>
>
> Vee effectively dodged flames to escape a fire. I think she's covered.
time to find out *how* she did that. Biopsy-cum-autopsy.
> >you're wardrobe
> Embracing your feminine side again. How contemporary.
in your case I make an exception. Apparently female paladins can't be
horny lesbians.
> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
> >Astinus tends to be tightarsed about FoI.
>
> But Bertrem might feel sorry for you and let you take a peek.
I don't *want* to know what his price is
> >actually I was thinking of the time-honoured mafia tradition of using a
> >pillow as silencer and blast suppressor
>
> But both your hands are occupied, and both my hands and feet are free (and
> agile.)
one's holding a gun/club/tv remote. Boom. Or should I say Thud?
<nothing but the best for such a pretty head>
> That assumes you'll have a target to hit. How ingenuously confident.
> >
> >> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in
> >Melbourne>
<kitty control>
> >I can control it, and the tail's the same length as yours.
>
> I get chauffered aboard in a luxury kitty carrier though.
I travel business class, and am allowed to move
> >And I just grab a gun from a customs bloke, waste everybody around,
> >and make it look like the donor did it.
>
> I think the alarms and the survellience cameras will make this rather
> difficult.
practice for my lifequest
> >> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>>but of course. You realise the USAF has an officer (commissioned or
>>warrant) for every four enlisted men? Bearing in mind that there are
>>nine enlisted grades (quite pyramidal) and the basic military formation
>>calls for an officer in charge of forty enlisted, this is not exactly
>>'more teeth less tail.'
>All that for one cat? Vee'll be flattered enough not to hurt Sean too >badly.
I think I had a relevant reason for all that somewhere...
<Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
>Inexperience vs a legion that trains only to protect its goddess? Only >if these lycanthropes were created by Salvatore.
they're bulletproof (one survived a direct hit from a tank gun), and
we're not so inexperienced anymore, having taken down a Nexus Crawler
(basically a dragon), busted out of a lab, etc.
>>> >could you please stand a little closer to that light?
>>
>>> Only if you step back three paces.
>>but that'd mean getting up, and the sling wound around my left wrist
>>makes me doubt I can use the hand to push up. The Barrett .50 rifle is
>>pretty heavy as well. Is it okay if my spotter does so instead?
>On second thought, if you could just lay there still for one more >second ...
I know for a fact who in NYC has that kind of imaging/guidance gear, and
you certainly don't.
Rohan Tolstrup
get his chart-topping album "Yes I'm ****ing Angry" for $A29.95,
including hit singles "Gonna Make You A Woman," "Axewielder," "The Glass
Table," "This Time It's Biblical," and "Breaking the Record"
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> <Gods operate on the rechargeable Duracell Principle but how did they do it
without worshippers?>
>they 'appeared' with it, part of the God Starter Kit
The gods would then be predestined to be worshipper makers in order to survive.
What happens to the god who just wants to be a celestial dentist?
>
>> <Minions would either become carbon copies of their deities or would look
>to rule in their place>
<The minions would be borg-like automatons with no personality>
If the gods require nourishment from their worshippers in order to survive,
then it stands to reason that they would lose a part of their power to the
minions mortals would worship in their place.
>>
<Tak's minions would be the first to overthrow her>
>
>a good arse-whuppin' will keep 'em in line more or less. They'll still
>subtly try to knock her off, 'while giving the appearance of loyalty.'
>It keeps them efficient.
Fighting rebellious minions would weaken her more than chastising her mortal
troops -- look at all the trouble she went through just to bag Immolatus.
>
>> > Anwar should've gotten more dirt on his boss.
>>
>>< Info without muscle gets you in jail on trumped up charges>
>
>that Mahathir was openly contemptuous of world opinion...
World opinion is just gossip. Anwar needed powerful allies within his country
to seal his boss' fate.
>
>> >> <Fidel Tolstrup>
>> <Cuba doesn't need an army because no one wants the US for a neighbor>
>>
>> The Cuban military has a purpose -- it's too keep what's left of the middle
>> class there.
>
>so we've got a police force. Add a light boat coast guard and a few
>MiGs and they won't be much of a problem.
In Cuba, the military and the police are one and the same.
>
>> <Altie's left her heart in Australia?>
>> Capturing my heart is considered quite a prize indeed.
>
>I'll be around with my equipment in the morning
You'll have to take a number.
>
>> >Five limbs to hold you.
>>
>> Your tail's tactile?
>
>Sean's is. Last used to throw grenades while he was full-Nelsoned.
How did the rhyme go? "She' cut off his tail with a carving knife."
>
>> <Melbourne rain dance>
>> And you give a (pardon the pun) rat's ass what people think? Not likely.
>
>since when was I meant to be consistent?
It's expected of a continuity monitor.
>
>> >> <Marriot can dish it up>
>> >>
>> >just get them to shoot the table staff, or have INS stake it out
>>
>> You'd empty all the kitchens in NYC if you called INS.
>
>so you stay out?
Even if I hadn't been born in the US my lineage would still make me a US
citizen.
I had a reverse experience with a Welshman in Paris, who swore that I *had* to
be Sicilian because I didn't have a Hispanic accent. Didn't believe I gave him
my real first name, either.
>
>> >> <Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
>> At least in my case it's a little understandable -- Mercy and I do have a
>Dad in common, and our mothers were both brown-eyed brunettes.
>
>Iron Throne has a great example of Laera Roele doing something similar
We were fathered by the same man -- Mercy's a sedate grandma these days.
><Mothers Against Kendermore>
>> I don't mind the fact that the book was about Trapspringer -- it's the
>cookie cutter stuff that stinks. The word is full of more formula books than
it
>> needs.
>
<List of formula writers>
I hate Xanth and all things associated with it. The new Judy Tarr book will
probably take me away from DL for a week or so.
>
<Gambling on the jousts>
>
>we've got a government-promoted casino which must be the most accessible
>spot in the inner city. But of course the Premier refuses competition.
Bad move. Keeping a casino generic makes it so lackluster.
>
<Betting on Knights adds to the Arthurian atmosphere>
>Arthur was a celtic chief if he ever existed
Henry VIII then.
<Spinning discs>
>dammit. Would you believe 'Music' in the Yellow Pages doesn't include
>the place you buy recorded music?
Maybe because it's under "Records," which is the physical description of the
object?
>
>> ><Casino was kewl>
><Pesci getting buried alive, Yay!>
<vocal cord snipping should be expanded beyond dogs>
>
>and Fran Drescher, and.... to hell with it. Voluntary extinction.
Voluntary won't work with Frannie. She works at sounding banally nasal.
>
<Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
>
>I'd be all over you
And I'd get to watch you dissolve and dissappear down the sink. I wonder if
you'd leave a bathtub ring?
>
>> >> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
<Bunsen, little league anarchist>
>use Bunsen as a diversion then. I mowed the lawn today and literally
>scared the shit out of him with the mower. My other labours included
>cleaning up a doormat he'd killed and roasting pork 'n veggies, which
>both me and Dad survived.
Then maybe you should bring the mower and scare the hell out of the
outfielders, while Bunsen takes care of the catcher's mitt. You could bring
Dad back chicken and fries from the concession stand.
>
>> >> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
>> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
>> >
>have to be careful though. I'd use him as a clay pigeon like Laurana
>used Sturm.
Unlike Sturm, the huntsman did not seem to be burdened by any ideas of heroic
death. He hightailed it out of there once before the Queen could get her mitts
on him.
>> >> >> ><frisky kender>
>> <Amnesty International rates being surrounded by kender as cruel and
>unusual punishment>
>>
<Where's a good ambulance chaser when you need one?>
Doesn't Australia have public defenders who've got to take your case?
>> >
>> <Why does my son look so much like Rohan?>
>>
<One of Rohan's multiple personalities is into succession planning>
>>
>> It could have been the same guy who promised to throw any man who fathered
>my children out of a window (excluding himself, of course).
>
>never met him
Just as well then. Variety * is* the spice of life.
>
>> >Certainly the last is physically impossible because two different stages
>of my tissue would simultaneously exist.
>> Or it could just be an ordinary brunet, blue-eyed bouncing baby boy.
>
>I was blond originally.
But I never was.
But the paradox sounds like fun.
Only if you implode at a safe distance.
>
>> >> ><Alternate ways soldiers could have killed Julia, son of Caligula>
>> >>
>> <The Senate didn't have time to kill Caligula creatively>
>> I could not believe that scene where Caligula ate his sister Drusilla's
>fetus.
>
>eww. Penthouse stuck with corpse manipulation.
It was pretty risque for PBS, although it's pretty tame by today's standards.
But John Hurt with his mouth smeared with blood is still a gruesome sight,
censored or no.
>
>> >> >> >> ><tolerance, Flotsam style>
>> >> >> >> >Flotsam's a hole. Palanthas actually has law and politics.
>> >> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
>they presumably were under tight control. If they don't have families,
>they can always be hogtied and dumped at the border of Wayreth. No
>matter the nature, nobody wants wizards working against them.
Agreed, no one wants wizards against them. But citing my earlier Istar
example, wizards who collaborate would be treated like any other member of the
administration.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Rohan as my son?>
>> Claiming descent from me was your idea, remember?
>
>you called me your son
Because you called me a JPEG goddess. Was Paladine Elistan's father?
>
>> <Using the Tolstup essence to create a dragon orb>
>>
>> You can always get one of your union gnomes to invest a Life Quest on this
>one.
>
>got a platoon of 'em working on continuity already
See if they can make you consistent while they're at it.
>
>> >> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
>> >>
>> <Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
>> A man just doesn't cut the same figure without his butt. Think of all the
>jeans that would have to be taken in.
>
>but so much freedom!
looking like an ironing board from the back is freedom? Don't even think about
touching Antonio Banderas.
>
<Jedi left Star Warriors panting for more for a long time>
>I wasn't 21 when the last flick came out, remember?
I keep forgetting you're a wee bairn.
>
<Zahn's books added a sense of continuity that didn't make the break between
Star Wars movies so bad>
If I can forget the really bad stuff I read, and have time between the Siege of
Mt. Nevermind and Judy's latest, I might explore Star Wars fiction again.
>
>> >> >muhahahahaha
>> >>
>> >> I forgot you were ticklish. Cootchie Cootchie Coo.
>> >
>> >that's not my 'I'm being tickled and it *rocks*' laugh
>>
>> No, it's your "I'm a devilishly mysterious koala" laugh.
>
>that's open to interpretation
You're all growl no foul, Koalataur.
>
<Girl talk between Altie and Alison>
>what, like that book supposedly written by Weis and her son? I didn't
>really think he'd ask his mother which position a woman would adopt when
>getting under the covers with her bubonic husband. Sequel when?
Sons don't talk about that kind of stuff with their mothers, but
mother-daughter like chats are supposed to prepare you for the outside world.
>
>> >plenty of nice swampland. Family pilgrimage site, Mum's family's been
>> >going down there for about fifty years and we've got a house there.
>>
>> Still cool though, the idea of having penguins about. A squirrel is as
>exotic as my backyard gets.
>
>does your gun cabinet get more exotic than a .22?
That and a Super Soaker water pistol.
>
>> >> So you're planning a reverse Fistandantilus?
>> >
>> >wouldn't you?
>>
>> You'd be delaying the inevitable. And unless a kender pops up, you
>wouldn't change the past at all.
>
>either way I'm up shit creek
Without a paddle no less.
>
>> >> <Elistan's converts were at the root of the KoS, so they'd respect
>> >Crysania>
<The knights have functioned without a Church of Paladine for so long that
Crysania can only advise, not command.>
>
>they're also just getting used to having an Order of the Sword again.
>Probably one of the High Clerist's duties was as liason to the church.
And if the Clerist disagreed with Crysania's advice, the knights would side
with the High Clerist, who as a member of the KoS would be seen as the
individual who best understands their order.
>
>Crysania was smart enough to figure things out for herself. We're
>assuming she was taught something of politics, being a leader and all.
Again, given her depiction in Legends, she had a lot to learn in the aftermath
of Elistan's death. The calm middle aged diplomat who stars in Tears was very
different when she was in her twenties.
>
<Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
>> >>
>> >> Thanks, teach. What's tomorrow's lesson?
>> >
>> >Revolutions For Dummies
>>
>> Per your description, you're not going to have a full register for your
>class from among your fellow Aussie voters.
>
>I go internationale
You'll be getting a lot of internationals from Indonesia soon enough.
>
>> >> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
>> >> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
>> And we'll never agree on this one, because the elves have never shown any
>> interest in human politics, unless it's an obvious threat to their
>> civilization. That would make these highly placed elves something like UN
>> observers. And observers don't raise the alarm unless something directly
>> impacts the security of the nations they represent.
>
>well, I'd say that the KoS not being serious about reform indicates the
>viability of the alliance - a key concern to the Qualinesti Senate. And
>besides, there will always be shouting, what's important is who's
>listening. And it's a fair assumption Porthios is with at least one ear
Look at East Timor. It's been falling apart for close to two years, but the
only reason people are reacting now is because of the bloodshed. Unless the
Rose Knights declare war on the Sword knights, no one's knickers are going to
get into a twist.
>
<Laurana had the restoration of Silvanesti to keep her occupied>
>
>it figures that they'd split their time. Logically she went from
>spending about a year doing that to hanging around Sancrist building up
>contacts or a Marquis de Sade book getting played like a guitar
I'd still think it was more of a concern of hers to get the Silvanesti back
into their homeland, especially since they were enslaving the Kagonesti. Real
elven misery has to come before knightly philosophical reform.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Vietnam syndrome>
>> >> <Nixon took a hit on foreign policy but no one cared as long as the US
sent cash and troops>
>> >>
>> <The US Constitution was in better shape than the Measure>
><Suez Crisis comparison would make more sense if Abrena had gotten further
with KoT merger talks.>
>that's one reason I doubt R&S' canonical status. The KoT can only be
>rehabilitated if they regain their honour, which means losing Abrena.
Reforming the KoT that early would throw Dragons of a New Age into a continuity
quagmire.
>
>> <Sturm could grow up to be Vinus Solamnus or Jimmy Carter>
<Like Jimmy, Sturm not have the political instinct to oust Crownguard.>
>
>he would've made a good figurehead then. I can think of a lot of ways
>he could have made a difference within the knighthood.
Gunthar had the same idea, but the WotL got in the way.
>
>> >> >> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and
>Rohan disagrees>
>> >> >> >
>> >> <East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
>>
>> > I see the LoS as a 'Bear Cult' type organisation. It's 'enlightened
>> > behaviour' is no different from how the KoS act if they're serious about
the Oath.
>>
>> The analogy between the LoS and the Bear cult is a good one, except the
>> Bear cult is the more exclusionary organization -- no one but Alorns could
join.
>
>the analogy is that both are well-meaning but superfluous - Bear Cult is
>ethnic supremacist, LoS is the Democrats.
The Bear Cult is superfluous (and very silly with all that waddling) but it is
not well-meaning. It's an excuse for the High Priest of Belar to grab power.
LoS at least has a worthy objective.
>
>> <Linsha's vision won't satisfy your curiosity>
>>
>this feels a lot like 1984, with all these explanations suddenly popping
>up after only four years.
Better late than never. And all the explanations will make great Hasbro
interactive modules.
>
<Bunsen's munching on inferior grade meat>
>>
>> Aren't you worried he'll get sick? E Coli can be passed on by gnawing
>infected meat.
>
>like I said, I've got a stash of identical labs
You're fickle.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
>> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
>> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
>> >> Fall-in Fizban would also annoyingly leave the seat up.
>> >that boy's dominated by his women I'd say. I'd be more worried about
>> >Sirrion than Chemosh anyway - Chemosh is just a pile of bones (probably
>> >pretty clean by now, one npc apparently got off on stark ivory), while
>> >Sirrion melts plastic seats and turns the porcelain model into a cookpot
>>
>> Another reason not to cut off butt cheeks -- they protect vital areas
>against third degree burns.
>
>this is the reason only the good gods are allowed in
And how will anyone keep them out? It's not like a deadbolt will hold up
against Tak.
>
>> >> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
<Altarielle's friends got out while the getting was good>
>the bastards invaded 24 years ago
>
You can't change something that far past, but something should have been done
to prevent the atrocity the minute the economy started to collapse. Money
breeds persecution.
<Male pets had best sow their wild oats before entering the Tolstrup household>
>> Law? Is it mandatory in Australia? Or just prudent pet population control
>on your family's part?
>
>the latter. Licensing practice is that you have to pay about three
>times as much if the pet isn't fixed. They don't legislate, they just
>put the price up.
Now that's a clever way to do it. If you have overpopulation, you can also do
the same thing with drivers' licenses. That'll bring teen pregnancy down.
>
<Roleplaying the Human Torch at nine>
>
>> Ouch. So being the Dino of Flame comes naturally. Did it scar?
>
>yep. Still got the bloody things. I don't especially like fire.
I've always had nightmares about drowning, although I haven't had a bad
experience in the water. I must admit that smelling smoke does make me jumpy
though.
>
>> The worst thing I did was stick beans up my nose when I was about three or
>> four. I remember being held down by my parents as my doctor pulled them
>out. And don't ask me why I did it -- it just seemed like a good idea at the
>time.
>
>I'm not going to lecture anybody on rationality right now
Not feeling particularly rational?
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>> >> >Vee is curry
>> >>
>> >> No she's furry.
>> >
>> >that's the second thing to go. Seen the Simpsons episode where they get
>> >stuck in Japan?
>>
>> My cat will never surrender and become Ms. Bigglesworth.
>
>'knife goes in, guts come out'
If I clean these out, I could make a wind chime out of you.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
>> ><Capriciossa 9mm)
>> <Renton may pack a punch>
>>
>> But you need a challenge every now and then to stay sharp.
>
>like Miss Ripley said
Who?
>
>> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
>> <singing lessons by appointment only>
>>
>> Props escalate the difficulty of the Test accordingly.
>
>well, the box should decrease difficulty, although running may become
>something of a problem.
If running were the only *problem* it wouldn't be much of a Test.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
>> >> >I'd rather not repeat what I did to get into Leaves II. I feel dirty.
>> >>
>> >> You showed him the birthmark, didn't you?
>> >
>> >a little more imaginative than that, but I'm trying to suppress
>>
>> Say no more. The videotape will hit the internet anytime now. Maybe
>Kinthalas can post the URL on his site.
>
>and I can mail *@aol.com with his real name, phone number and address?
He can always claim artistic freedom under the First Amendment.
>
>> <Puckering deflects pistols>
>>
>> >it's not like I impregnate my jocks with essence of effluvia.
>>
>> That's good. It would be awkward to do this while holding my nose.
>
>oh, I've alread sealed your nostrils
>
>> >Bending might be a bad idea, so are you using a stepladder?
>>
>> I'll stand on the porch. It'll give me the added protection of the
>railing.
>
>ever flipped forward over a railing? I believe you have long hair.
And you still think you'd have hands at this point? Besides, hair can be tied
up in a bun.
>
>> >> >> >> ><splash>
>> >> >> ><NY, NY>
>> >> >> >> >can they PLEASE clean up the harbour?
>> >> <American Gladiators are gone and we're both glad>
>> >> >before you kill me, can I give my acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace
>> >> >Prize?
>> >>
>> >> If you leave me the prize money in your will.
>> >
>> >now all I've got to do is *get* the prize
>>
>> You can always make a go for the monthly prizes in Reader's Digest.
>
>although it might take me decades I can't die without being handed the
>Nobel and giving my speech.
You've got a better chance of buying stock and crashing the Hasbro meeting.
><getoutofmymind!>
>> >I don't have any porn images in my head. I was more worried that you'd
>> >find my Great Australian Novel drafts and angst pits.
>>
>> I'm roasting chicken over the angst pits, and the novel makes great
>blackmail material.
>
>you sure you want to *eat* that?
I brought it in with me. The fridge in here was empty.
>And in your opinion, now Turdmeister's
>got Justine the Bitch nailed to the table, what should he do?
Send the novel to the author's parole officer?
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> <Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
>>
>> Suppose keeping him happy involves electing a new union boss?
>
>I'll step down while retaining substantive control
I don't think they'll be letting you out of the bowels of Mt. Nevermind
anytime soon.
>
>> <Playing cops and stalkers>
>> >apart from that, I'd go into restaurants and use the 'there isn't any
>> >soap in your bathroom' trick. And commandeer then crash 'n slash nice
>> >cars.
>>
>> The car part really happens more in LA than here.
>
>if that's what you like to think
Think OJ. And OJ was not here in NYC.
>
>> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
>> >> You could always use it as a front seat cover for your car.
>> >
>> >nah, he's not that big yet. I figure Spike might do well on the wheel.
>>
>> Spike might make good fuzzy dice.
>
>but those are illegal: they block the view
You can always make a Davy Crockett hat out of him.
>
>> <Another attempt on the resilient Vee cat>
>> >
>> >all together now: KZZZZZZZZZZZAPPPPPP <free x-ray>
>>
>> Vee effectively dodged flames to escape a fire. I think she's covered.
>
>time to find out *how* she did that. Biopsy-cum-autopsy.
Squeezed herself out of a back window, btween the child safety guards. Has the
ear scars to prove it.
>
>> >you're wardrobe
>> Embracing your feminine side again. How contemporary.
>
>in your case I make an exception. Apparently female paladins can't be
>horny lesbians.
I'm glad your wonderfully astute DM is keeping those wilder impulses of yours
in check.
>
>> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
>> >Astinus tends to be tightarsed about FoI.
>>
>> But Bertrem might feel sorry for you and let you take a peek.
>
>I don't *want* to know what his price is
It should be slightly less kinky than Satan's.
>
>> >actually I was thinking of the time-honoured mafia tradition of using a
>> >pillow as silencer and blast suppressor
>>
>> But both your hands are occupied, and both my hands and feet are free (and
>> agile.)
>
>one's holding a gun/club/tv remote. Boom. Or should I say Thud?
You won't say anything until you wake up much later. But that won't be
intelligible.
>
>> >> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in
>> >Melbourne>
><kitty control>
>> >I can control it, and the tail's the same length as yours.
>>
>> I get chauffered aboard in a luxury kitty carrier though.
>
>I travel business class, and am allowed to move
Only to the end of that leash that's looped around the armrest.
>
>> >And I just grab a gun from a customs bloke, waste everybody around,
>> >and make it look like the donor did it.
>>
>> I think the alarms and the survellience cameras will make this rather
>> difficult.
>
>practice for my lifequest
Try to work in some consistency practice in there, too.
>
>> >> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>>All that for one cat? Vee'll be flattered enough not to hurt Sean too
>>badly.
>
>I think I had a relevant reason for all that somewhere...
>
><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
>>Inexperience vs a legion that trains only to protect its goddess?
>Only if these lycanthropes were created by Salvatore.
>
>they're bulletproof (one survived a direct hit from a tank gun), and
>we're not so inexperienced anymore, having taken down a Nexus Crawler
>(basically a dragon), busted out of a lab, etc.
The zealots carry weapons blessed by their goddess to be especially effective
againstl lycanthropes.
>
<Step up, back down>
>
>>On second thought, if you could just lay there still for one more second
>I know for a fact who in NYC has that kind of imaging/guidance gear, and
>you certainly don't.
You don't know exactly what kind of financial tracking systems I build, do you?
Such endearing tenacity...
Tolstrup
> without worshippers?>
>
> >they 'appeared' with it, part of the God Starter Kit
>
> The gods would then be predestined to be worshipper makers in order to survive.
> What happens to the god who just wants to be a celestial dentist?
it's an integral part of godhood, the same as we can't really imagine a
domesticated cow ending up as other than steak. I suppose he ceases to
exist (a la Rose of the Prophet) if he doesn't become God of Dentists
(in which case Sargonnas and Hiddukel desire a chat).
> >> <Minions would either become carbon copies of their deities or would look
> >to rule in their place>
>
> <The minions would be borg-like automatons with no personality>
>
> If the gods require nourishment from their worshippers in order to survive,
> then it stands to reason that they would lose a part of their power to the
> minions mortals would worship in their place.
our taxes are collected by the federal government, which distributes it
for actual spending to the state govts.
> <Tak's minions would be the first to overthrow her>
> Fighting rebellious minions would weaken her more than chastising her mortal
> troops -- look at all the trouble she went through just to bag Immolatus.
she can probably keep 'em at 'critical point' where they mostly work
together, except for their personal agendas which strictly don't
conflict with hers.
> >>< Info without muscle gets you in jail on trumped up charges>
> World opinion is just gossip. Anwar needed powerful allies within his country
> to seal his boss' fate.
the IMF in particular is the strongest instrument of imperialism I've
ever seen.
> >> >> <Fidel Tolstrup>
> >> <Cuba doesn't need an army because no one wants the US for a neighbor>
<Cuban Defence Force - for defending against Cubans>
> >so we've got a police force. Add a light boat coast guard and a few
> >MiGs and they won't be much of a problem.
>
> In Cuba, the military and the police are one and the same.
cool. Do beat cops get to pack AKs?
> >> <Altie's left her heart in Australia?>
> >> Capturing my heart is considered quite a prize indeed.
> >
> >I'll be around with my equipment in the morning
>
> You'll have to take a number.
well, as all the other candidates will be lined up, I'll bring a room
broom with me.
> >> >Five limbs to hold you.
> >>
> >> Your tail's tactile?
> >
> >Sean's is. Last used to throw grenades while he was full-Nelsoned.
>
> How did the rhyme go? "She' cut off his tail with a carving knife."
Sean gets a flash of the knife coming, shits a gun and wastes her
> >> <Melbourne rain dance>
> >> And you give a (pardon the pun) rat's ass what people think? Not likely.
> >
> >since when was I meant to be consistent?
>
> It's expected of a continuity monitor.
I believe Steve Miller referred to himself as a Continuity Cop
> >> >> <Marriot can dish it up>
> >> You'd empty all the kitchens in NYC if you called INS.
> >
> >so you stay out?
>
> Even if I hadn't been born in the US my lineage would still make me a US
> citizen.
immigration scams going back decades? I'm impressed.
> I had a reverse experience with a Welshman in Paris, who swore that I *had* to
> be Sicilian because I didn't have a Hispanic accent. Didn't believe I gave him
> my real first name, either.
well, he called you a liar and you didn't extrude his tongue through his
throat, so you're not Sicilian.
> >> >> <Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
> >Iron Throne has a great example of Laera Roele doing something similar
>
> We were fathered by the same man -- Mercy's a sedate grandma these days.
starting to feel old?
> ><Mothers Against Kendermore>
> <List of formula writers>
>
> I hate Xanth and all things associated with it. The new Judy Tarr book will
> probably take me away from DL for a week or so.
I'll let you know when WoS comes out then. For my part I've been
reading a lot of thrillers lately. Currently I'm actually reading
something about a celebrity detective chasing an ex-cop ex-IRA serial
killer around NYC
> <Gambling on the jousts>
> >
> >we've got a government-promoted casino which must be the most accessible
> >spot in the inner city. But of course the Premier refuses competition.
>
> Bad move. Keeping a casino generic makes it so lackluster.
it basically exists to rip off poor people
> <Betting on Knights adds to the Arthurian atmosphere>
>
> >Arthur was a celtic chief if he ever existed
>
> Henry VIII then.
field of cloth of gold anybody? I have difficulty imagining him
jousting (obsolete by his day anyway), although he certainly had his own
integral saddle.
> <Spinning discs>
>
> >dammit. Would you believe 'Music' in the Yellow Pages doesn't include
> >the place you buy recorded music?
>
> Maybe because it's under "Records," which is the physical description of the
> object?
my understanding was that a record was defined as vinyl
> >> ><Casino was kewl>
> ><Pesci getting buried alive, Yay!>
> <vocal cord snipping should be expanded beyond dogs>
> >
> >and Fran Drescher, and.... to hell with it. Voluntary extinction.
>
> Voluntary won't work with Frannie. She works at sounding banally nasal.
if she gets shot I'll publicly say you were with me on the night in
question
> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
> >
> >I'd be all over you
>
> And I'd get to watch you dissolve and dissappear down the sink. I wonder if
> you'd leave a bathtub ring?
I'd keep going much longer than Prince Tampax. I'm clean-livin'
> >> >> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
> <Bunsen, little league anarchist>
>
> >use Bunsen as a diversion then. I mowed the lawn today and literally
> >scared the shit out of him with the mower. My other labours included
> >cleaning up a doormat he'd killed and roasting pork 'n veggies, which
> >both me and Dad survived.
>
> Then maybe you should bring the mower and scare the hell out of the
> outfielders, while Bunsen takes care of the catcher's mitt. You could bring
> Dad back chicken and fries from the concession stand.
Morten's the one that wants Dad dead. And the mower wouldn't work on
humans, who being American probably have .45s.
> >> >> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
> >> >
> >have to be careful though. I'd use him as a clay pigeon like Laurana
> >used Sturm.
> Unlike Sturm, the huntsman did not seem to be burdened by any ideas of heroic
> death. He hightailed it out of there once before the Queen could get her mitts
> on him.
he would of course die for Snow...
> >> >> >> ><frisky kender>
> >> <Amnesty International rates being surrounded by kender as cruel and
> >unusual punishment>
> >>
> <Where's a good ambulance chaser when you need one?>
>
> Doesn't Australia have public defenders who've got to take your case?
technically, yes. You are aware that Yanks trying to appeal death
sentences are denied counsel for key stages, and a sleeping lawyer is
considered adequate?
> >> <Why does my son look so much like Rohan?>
> >>
> <One of Rohan's multiple personalities is into succession planning>
> >>
> >> It could have been the same guy who promised to throw any man who fathered
> >my children out of a window (excluding himself, of course).
> >
> >never met him
>
> Just as well then. Variety * is* the spice of life.
you mean Ecstacy
> >> >Certainly the last is physically impossible because two different stages
> >of my tissue would simultaneously exist.
> >> Or it could just be an ordinary brunet, blue-eyed bouncing baby boy.
> >
> >I was blond originally.
>
> But I never was.
you were after being tortured in a bath of industrial bleach. I'm
pretty sure that's happened by now. Bloody time travel.
> But the paradox sounds like fun.
>
> Only if you implode at a safe distance.
but you deserve a ringside seat
> >> >> ><Alternate ways soldiers could have killed Julia, son of Caligula>
> >> >>
> >> <The Senate didn't have time to kill Caligula creatively>
<having the kid for dinner>
> >eww. Penthouse stuck with corpse manipulation.
>
> It was pretty risque for PBS, although it's pretty tame by today's standards.
> But John Hurt with his mouth smeared with blood is still a gruesome sight,
> censored or no.
just the concept is beyond the pale
> >> >> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
> >they presumably were under tight control. If they don't have families,
> >they can always be hogtied and dumped at the border of Wayreth. No
> >matter the nature, nobody wants wizards working against them.
>
> Agreed, no one wants wizards against them. But citing my earlier Istar
> example, wizards who collaborate would be treated like any other member of the
> administration.
except they'd be kept on a leash. After all, you can't REALLY trust 'em
><Rohan as my son?>
>
> >> Claiming descent from me was your idea, remember?
> >
> >you called me your son
>
> Because you called me a JPEG goddess. Was Paladine Elistan's father?
there's a logical reason I chucked most of the multiple versions of the
Church hierarchy...
> >> <Using the Tolstup essence to create a dragon orb>
> >>
> >> You can always get one of your union gnomes to invest a Life Quest on this
> >one.
> >
> >got a platoon of 'em working on continuity already
>
> See if they can make you consistent while they're at it.
I'm usually consistent, and I know *DL* consistency well enough
> >> >> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
> >> >>
> >> <Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
>
> >> A man just doesn't cut the same figure without his butt. Think of all the
> >jeans that would have to be taken in.
> >
> >but so much freedom!
>
> looking like an ironing board from the back is freedom? Don't even think about
> touching Antonio Banderas.
after Ricky Martin he's my next appointment
> <Jedi left Star Warriors panting for more for a long time>
>
> >I wasn't 21 when the last flick came out, remember?
>
> I keep forgetting you're a wee bairn.
I suppose you support raising the voting age to forty as well?
> <Zahn's books added a sense of continuity that didn't make the break between
> Star Wars movies so bad>
>
> If I can forget the really bad stuff I read, and have time between the Siege of
> Mt. Nevermind and Judy's latest, I might explore Star Wars fiction again.
fair enough. I might try reading the Jedi Academy books, but whatever.
> >> >> >muhahahahaha
> >> No, it's your "I'm a devilishly mysterious koala" laugh.
> >
> >that's open to interpretation
>
> You're all growl no foul, Koalataur.
you have yet to see my interpretation of 'foul'
> <Girl talk between Altie and Alison>
>
> >what, like that book supposedly written by Weis and her son? I didn't
> >really think he'd ask his mother which position a woman would adopt when
> >getting under the covers with her bubonic husband. Sequel when?
>
> Sons don't talk about that kind of stuff with their mothers, but
> mother-daughter like chats are supposed to prepare you for the outside world.
reminds me of a Hagar cartoon I saw once
> >> Still cool though, the idea of having penguins about. A squirrel is as
> >exotic as my backyard gets.
> >
> >does your gun cabinet get more exotic than a .22?
>
> That and a Super Soaker water pistol.
mine's the size of an Uzi
> >> You'd be delaying the inevitable. And unless a kender pops up, you
> >wouldn't change the past at all.
> >
> >either way I'm up shit creek
>
> Without a paddle no less.
I'd just use Bunsen as an outboard
> >> >> <Elistan's converts were at the root of the KoS, so they'd respect
> >> >Crysania>
> <The knights have functioned without a Church of Paladine for so long that
> Crysania can only advise, not command.>
> >
> >they're also just getting used to having an Order of the Sword again.
> >Probably one of the High Clerist's duties was as liason to the church.
>
> And if the Clerist disagreed with Crysania's advice, the knights would side
> with the High Clerist, who as a member of the KoS would be seen as the
> individual who best understands their order.
presumably in the short time Pazza was actually around he could have
done something...
> >Crysania was smart enough to figure things out for herself. We're
> >assuming she was taught something of politics, being a leader and all.
> Again, given her depiction in Legends, she had a lot to learn in the aftermath
> of Elistan's death. The calm middle aged diplomat who stars in Tears was very
> different when she was in her twenties.
pity we keep having to rely on questionable books. I've heard people
say that Crysania was acting really out of character. In any event, she
had thirty years to get her shit together.
> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
> >> >>
> >> >> Thanks, teach. What's tomorrow's lesson?
> >> >
> >> >Revolutions For Dummies
> >>
> >> Per your description, you're not going to have a full register for your
> >class from among your fellow Aussie voters.
> >
> >I go internationale
>
> You'll be getting a lot of internationals from Indonesia soon enough.
send some intercontinentals back
> >> >> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
> >> >> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
> >well, I'd say that the KoS not being serious about reform indicates the
> >viability of the alliance - a key concern to the Qualinesti Senate. And
> >besides, there will always be shouting, what's important is who's
> >listening. And it's a fair assumption Porthios is with at least one ear
>
> Look at East Timor. It's been falling apart for close to two years, but the
> only reason people are reacting now is because of the bloodshed. Unless the
> Rose Knights declare war on the Sword knights, no one's knickers are going to
> get into a twist.
it got kept quiet by a parochial media often controlled by the same
powerful groups with an interest in Indonesian oppression (incl
'outsiders' who wanted relationships with Indonesia's allies). And
Indonesia's been repressing in E Timor for 24 years.
> <Laurana had the restoration of Silvanesti to keep her occupied>
> >it figures that they'd split their time. Logically she went from
> >spending about a year doing that to hanging around Sancrist building up
> >contacts or a Marquis de Sade book getting played like a guitar
>
> I'd still think it was more of a concern of hers to get the Silvanesti back
> into their homeland, especially since they were enslaving the Kagonesti. Real
> elven misery has to come before knightly philosophical reform.
Time of the Twins and The Legacy gave a pretty clear impression that her
and Tanis were shuttle diplomats trying to draw the camps together
> ><Suez Crisis comparison would make more sense if Abrena had gotten further
> with KoT merger talks.>
>
> >that's one reason I doubt R&S' canonical status. The KoT can only be
> >rehabilitated if they regain their honour, which means losing Abrena.
>
> Reforming the KoT that early would throw Dragons of a New Age into a continuity
> quagmire.
it could have easily been about the disparate groups taking on an
invasion by ALL the gods. And if any book deserved the treatment Dark
Heart got, it's those, especially EotM.
> >> <Sturm could grow up to be Vinus Solamnus or Jimmy Carter>
> <Like Jimmy, Sturm not have the political instinct to oust Crownguard.>
> >
> >he would've made a good figurehead then. I can think of a lot of ways
> >he could have made a difference within the knighthood.
>
> Gunthar had the same idea, but the WotL got in the way.
WotL shone a bright light into the festhall
> >> >> >> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and
> >Rohan disagrees>
> >> >> <East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
> >> The analogy between the LoS and the Bear cult is a good one, except the
> >> Bear cult is the more exclusionary organization -- no one but Alorns could
> join.
> >
> >the analogy is that both are well-meaning but superfluous - Bear Cult is
> >ethnic supremacist, LoS is the Democrats.
>
> The Bear Cult is superfluous (and very silly with all that waddling) but it is
> not well-meaning. It's an excuse for the High Priest of Belar to grab power.
> LoS at least has a worthy objective.
do they? It's entirely possible that sinister interests set it up with
Sara as their easily manipulated figurehead.
> >> <Linsha's vision won't satisfy your curiosity>
> >>
> >this feels a lot like 1984, with all these explanations suddenly popping
> >up after only four years.
>
> Better late than never. And all the explanations will make great Hasbro
> interactive modules.
<chunder><chunder>
I think I'm about done
<retch>
that bloody hurt. If they're going to bring in the LoS, it's their job
to cushion the blow by explaining *specifically* why it was necessary,
at the time and not four years later. I bear in mind how after Tom
Baker finished his 8 year Doctor Who run they ran a season of his
predecessors to remind viewers others had played the role.
> <Bunsen's munching on inferior grade meat>
> >>
> >> Aren't you worried he'll get sick? E Coli can be passed on by gnawing
> >infected meat.
> >
> >like I said, I've got a stash of identical labs
>
> You're fickle.
no, just one of my personalities is sadistic
> >> >> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
> >> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> >> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
<Fizban would nail the seat down, Sirrion would nuke it>
> >> Another reason not to cut off butt cheeks -- they protect vital areas
> >against third degree burns.
> >
> >this is the reason only the good gods are allowed in
>
> And how will anyone keep them out? It's not like a deadbolt will hold up
> against Tak.
the inside of the cubicle's covered with leftwing graffiti. One look
and her avatar spontaneously combusts. The muzak also contributes.
> >> >> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
> <Altarielle's friends got out while the getting was good>
> >the bastards invaded 24 years ago
> >
> You can't change something that far past, but something should have been done
> to prevent the atrocity the minute the economy started to collapse. Money
> breeds persecution.
and how. IMF only lends if they're going to profit (ie, if socialist
practices are abandoned), while everybody else is in bed with the power
elites.
> <Male pets had best sow their wild oats before entering the Tolstrup household>
not a chance
> >> Law? Is it mandatory in Australia? Or just prudent pet population control
> >on your family's part?
> >
> >the latter. Licensing practice is that you have to pay about three
> >times as much if the pet isn't fixed. They don't legislate, they just
> >put the price up.
>
> Now that's a clever way to do it. If you have overpopulation, you can also do
> the same thing with drivers' licenses. That'll bring teen pregnancy down.
a cynical and somewhat unromantic approach. Availability of frangers
without having to actually be seen buying 'em works for me.
> <Roleplaying the Human Torch at nine>
> >
> >> Ouch. So being the Dino of Flame comes naturally. Did it scar?
> >
> >yep. Still got the bloody things. I don't especially like fire.
>
> I've always had nightmares about drowning, although I haven't had a bad
> experience in the water. I must admit that smelling smoke does make me jumpy
> though.
for me it's the heat, and the ongoing pain
> >I'm not going to lecture anybody on rationality right now
>
> Not feeling particularly rational?
I spent an hour waiting for Simon to give up on Minesweeper Expert so I
could check this out.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
> >> My cat will never surrender and become Ms. Bigglesworth.
> >
> >'knife goes in, guts come out'
>
> If I clean these out, I could make a wind chime out of you.
don't you have to break bones to get the marrow?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><6' kitten for sale>
> >> ><Capriciossa 9mm)
> >> <Renton may pack a punch>
> >>
> >> But you need a challenge every now and then to stay sharp.
> >
> >like Miss Ripley said
>
> Who?
nuke 'em from orbit, only way to be sure
> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
> >> <singing lessons by appointment only>
> >>
> >> Props escalate the difficulty of the Test accordingly.
> >
> >well, the box should decrease difficulty, although running may become
> >something of a problem.
>
> If running were the only *problem* it wouldn't be much of a Test.
good thing I've also got a ceramic derringer secreted on my person
> >> >> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
<Leaves II casting couch>
> >> Say no more. The videotape will hit the internet anytime now. Maybe
> >Kinthalas can post the URL on his site.
> >
> >and I can mail *@aol.com with his real name, phone number and address?
>
> He can always claim artistic freedom under the First Amendment.
bwahahahahahahahahaha
> >> <Puckering deflects pistols>
> >> I'll stand on the porch. It'll give me the added protection of the
> >railing.
> >
> >ever flipped forward over a railing? I believe you have long hair.
>
> And you still think you'd have hands at this point?
but then who'd be handling 'hand required' jobs for the rest of my life?
Besides, I'm like a cockroach, and may have sent a padded Sean in my
place. And he took a 9mm without noticing.
Besides, hair can be tied
> up in a bun.
not if Spike (or "Vee") has stashed your scrunchies, pins etc
> >> >now all I've got to do is *get* the prize
> >>
> >> You can always make a go for the monthly prizes in Reader's Digest.
> >
> >although it might take me decades I can't die without being handed the
> >Nobel and giving my speech.
>
> You've got a better chance of buying stock and crashing the Hasbro meeting.
seeing as Sean's world is this time last year, we can assume he's bought
a lot of Hasbro stock by now as by the time the decision was made he's
become quite a spy.
> ><getoutofmymind!>
> >> >I don't have any porn images in my head. I was more worried that you'd
> >> >find my Great Australian Novel drafts and angst pits.
> >>
> >> I'm roasting chicken over the angst pits, and the novel makes great
> >blackmail material.
> >
> >you sure you want to *eat* that?
> I brought it in with me. The fridge in here was empty.
you thought *that* was a fridge? Besides, have you thought about what
you're using to roast the chook?
> >And in your opinion, now Turdmeister's
> >got Justine the Bitch nailed to the table, what should he do?
>
> Send the novel to the author's parole officer?
but the novel doesn't exist in his reality. I'm thinking perhaps that
I'll revise the table to a bare bedframe, and arrange for Choda Boy to
help TM. Do her alabaster skin and delicate rosehued highlights deserve
a soldering iron or a Cuban cigar?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >> <Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
> >I'll step down while retaining substantive control
>
> I don't think they'll be letting you out of the bowels of Mt. Nevermind
> anytime soon.
yer right, it'll take me a while to get all those guns and drugs moved.
> >> <Playing cops and stalkers>
> >> The car part really happens more in LA than here.
> >
> >if that's what you like to think
>
> Think OJ. And OJ was not here in NYC.
you've just got gun-toting subway users who 'feel threatened' iirc.
> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
> >> Spike might make good fuzzy dice.
> >
> >but those are illegal: they block the view
>
> You can always make a Davy Crockett hat out of him.
I can say it's lionskin...
> >> <Another attempt on the resilient Vee cat>
> >> >
> >> >all together now: KZZZZZZZZZZZAPPPPPP <free x-ray>
> >>
> >> Vee effectively dodged flames to escape a fire. I think she's covered.
> >
> >time to find out *how* she did that. Biopsy-cum-autopsy.
>
> Squeezed herself out of a back window, btween the child safety guards. Has the
> ear scars to prove it.
hot pussy. I take it Gilbert just waltzed through?
> >> >you're wardrobe
> >> Embracing your feminine side again. How contemporary.
> >
> >in your case I make an exception. Apparently female paladins can't be
> >horny lesbians.
>
> I'm glad your wonderfully astute DM is keeping those wilder impulses of yours
> in check.
well, what was I supposed to do when confronted with a ship crewed
exclusively by women?
> >> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
> >> >Astinus tends to be tightarsed about FoI.
> >>
> >> But Bertrem might feel sorry for you and let you take a peek.
> >
> >I don't *want* to know what his price is
>
> It should be slightly less kinky than Satan's.
bear in mind that Bertrem is the single most likely person on Ansalon to
go postal, while Satan isn't overburdened with dark fantasies.
<soft as a feather>
> >> But both your hands are occupied, and both my hands and feet are free (and
> >> agile.)
> >
> >one's holding a gun/club/tv remote. Boom. Or should I say Thud?
>
> You won't say anything until you wake up much later. But that won't be
> intelligible.
that's what you think. And I could send ahead someone else who matches
the vague physical description I've given you.
> >> >> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in
> >> >Melbourne>
> ><kitty control>
> >> >I can control it, and the tail's the same length as yours.
> >>
> >> I get chauffered aboard in a luxury kitty carrier though.
> >
> >I travel business class, and am allowed to move
>
> Only to the end of that leash that's looped around the armrest.
they don't leash cats. And I've got a bonded polymer shiv anyway.
<customary festivities>
> >practice for my lifequest
>
> Try to work in some consistency practice in there, too.
where have I been inconsistent again?
> >> >> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
> The zealots carry weapons blessed by their goddess to be especially effective
> againstl lycanthropes.
silver's expensive and Sean, being quite Catholic, wouldn't believe in
the power of your blessing, a major component in faith magic (vampires
run from crosses because they believe it will hurt them)
> <Step up, back down>
> >I know for a fact who in NYC has that kind of imaging/guidance gear, and
> >you certainly don't.
>
> You don't know exactly what kind of financial tracking systems I build, do you?
I know your name, address, measurements and television preferences. As
the shadow partner in your organisation I'm fully aware of what you do.
> Such endearing tenacity...
good that you don't consider it a psychological disorder. Maybe we can
talk about it in the park at 3am.
Rohan "Ultimus Omnipotor" Tolstrup, coming up with things to say/do to
Helen Reddy.
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
<The gods are hatched fully powered but their batteries need recharging
through worship>
>> The gods would then be predestined to be worshipper makers in
>> order to survive.
>> What happens to the god who just wants to be a celestial dentist?
>
>it's an integral part of godhood, the same as we can't really imagine a
>domesticated cow ending up as other than steak.
But all cows do not become steak. They can be retired to farm sanctuaries
or star in milk commercials. There's got to be a hermit god out there.
Maybe Zivilyn?
> I suppose he ceases to exist (a la Rose of the Prophet) if he doesn't
> become God of Dentists (in which case Sargonnas and Hiddukel desire
a chat).
But Chaos seeks to restore all to oblivion. Where does a god who wants
no worshippers get his power from?
And if the God of Dentists wants to talk to anyone it's Chemosh, who
can keep him stocked in dental implants, and Morgion, who can inspire
plagues of gum disease and cavities.
>> >> <Minions would either be soulless drones or would look to rule in
the gods' place>
<Why would the gods share their worship fuel with minions?>
>our taxes are collected by the federal government, which distributes it
>for actual spending to the state govts.
But then the gods have the burden of being tax collectors. This distracts
them from the very multiplanar conflicts the gods sought to focus on by
delegating Krynn to minions.
>> <Tak's minions would be the first to overthrow her>
<It would take Tak more effort to punish minions than humans.>
>she can probably keep 'em at 'critical point' where they mostly work
>together, except for their personal agendas which strictly don't
>conflict with hers.
Like she so successfully did in the WotL with mere humans?
>
>> >>< Info without muscle gets you in jail on trumped up charges>
>> World opinion is just gossip. Anwar needed powerful allies within his
>country to seal his boss' fate.
>the IMF in particular is the strongest instrument of imperialism I've
>ever seen.
But you can't get the IMF to push your rival out of the top spot.
>
>> >> >> <Fidel Tolstrup>
>> >> <Cuba doesn't need an army because no one wants the US for a neighbor>
><Cuban Defence Force - for defending against Cubans>
>> In Cuba, the military and the police are one and the same.
>
>cool. Do beat cops get to pack AKs?
I don't know, but in Argentina they rolled out the tanks to stop a teacher's
strike.
>
< The line for Altarielle's heart forms at the back>
>well, as all the other candidates will be lined up, I'll bring a room
>broom with me.
Bring Bunsen with you so he can clean up when you're done
>
<One blind mouse, see how he runs>
>>
>> How did the rhyme go? "She' cut off his tail with a carving knife."
>
>Sean gets a flash of the knife coming, shits a gun and wastes her
She's given him Maalox and he's constipated.
>
>> >> <Melbourne rain dance>
>> >> And you give a (pardon the pun) rat's ass what people think? Not likely.
>> >
>> >since when was I meant to be consistent?
>>
>> It's expected of a continuity monitor.
>
>I believe Steve Miller referred to himself as a Continuity Cop
But Steve doesn't care if other people are inconsistent -- he just speaks for
himself.
>
<Altie is born in the USA>
>immigration scams going back decades? I'm impressed.
Spoken like a true descendant of Botany Bay.
>
<Why doesn't anyone believe I am who I say I am?>
>
>well, he called you a liar and you didn't extrude his tongue through his
>throat, so you're not Sicilian.
Tempting thought, but then he probably would have used sign language to
say "I knew it!" The only reason he got my real name was because I knew
he didn't believe me to begin with.
>
>> >> >> <Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
>> >Iron Throne has a great example of Laera Roele doing something similar
>>
>> We were fathered by the same man -- Mercy's a sedate grandma these days.
>
>starting to feel old?
Compared to Mercy, I don't think so. My sister's older than your mother.
My Dad was 44 when I was born.
>> <List of formula writers>
<Comparative reading lists>
Is the book an Aussie deal, or is it something that sits on the international
best seller lists? I have not read a good thriller in a while." Hannibal" was
just awful.
>
>> <Gambling on the jousts>
<Casino monopoly is legal in Australia>
>it basically exists to rip off poor people
I think casinos are unbiased, and just want to rip off addicted gamblers, no
matter what their social standing. Here in the States, a man wrote the casinos
in Vegas and Atlantic City to take him off their mailing lists because he
was addicted -- five of them sent him all expense paid trips to return to their
establishments.
>
>> <Betting on Knights adds to the Arthurian atmosphere>
>>
>> >Arthur was a celtic chief if he ever existed
>>
>> Henry VIII then.
>
>field of cloth of gold anybody? I have difficulty imagining him
>jousting (obsolete by his day anyway), although he certainly had his own
>integral saddle.
He did joust, Koalataur. In fact, his grossly infected leg that made his last
two wives
gag was a result of a fall in a joust. I'd love to see who had the nerve to
knock him off his horse, and whether the guy lost his head or was disemboweled.
>
>> <Spinning discs>
>> Maybe because it's under "Records," which is the physical description of
>the object?
>
>my understanding was that a record was defined as vinyl
It's a record of your voice. Vinyl is just a specific type.
>
>> >> ><Casino was kewl>
>> ><Pesci getting buried alive, Yay!>
>> <vocal cord snipping should be expanded beyond dogs>
<Fran Drescher should share Pesci's fate>
>if she gets shot I'll publicly say you were with me on the night in
>question
In spirit, of course.
>
>> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
>> >
>> >I'd be all over you
>>
>> And I'd get to watch you dissolve and dissappear down the sink. I wonder
>if you'd leave a bathtub ring?
>
>I'd keep going much longer than Prince Tampax. I'm clean-livin'
You don't know what you're getting yourself into. I bathe daily and require my
showers to be long, hot, and sudsy.
>
>> >> >> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
>> <Bunsen, little league anarchist>
>>
>> Then maybe you should bring the mower and scare the hell out of the
>> outfielders, while Bunsen takes care of the catcher's mitt. You could
>> bring Dad back chicken and fries from the concession stand.
>
>Morten's the one that wants Dad dead.
No I don't think so. Morten needs Mr. Tolstrup Sr. alive to take care of
you and Simon. And concession food is not *all* bad.
>And the mower wouldn't work on
>humans, who being American probably have .45s.
You're supposed to rattle the outfielders, not chew them. That's
Bunsen's job.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
>> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
<Unlike Sturm, the huntsman believes in living to fight another day.>
>
>he would of course die for Snow...
Only if the Queen boxed him in corner and gave him the Gnimsh treatment.
>
>> <Where's a good ambulance chaser when you need one?>
>>
>> Doesn't Australia have public defenders who've got to take your case?
>
>technically, yes. You are aware that Yanks trying to appeal death
>sentences are denied counsel for key stages, and a sleeping lawyer is
>considered adequate?
This strengthens your appeal chances though. Better than the Solamnic method,
that left a farm boy like Sturm to fend for himself.
>
>> <One of Rohan's multiple personalities is into succession planning>
>> >never met him
>>
>> Just as well then. Variety * is* the spice of life.
>
>you mean Ecstacy
Ecstacy is a result of the variety.
>
>> >> >Certainly the last is physically impossible because two different
>stages of my tissue would simultaneously exist.
>> >> Or it could just be an ordinary brunet, blue-eyed bouncing baby boy.
>> >
>> >I was blond originally.
>>
>> But I never was.
>
>you were after being tortured in a bath of industrial bleach. I'm
>pretty sure that's happened by now. Bloody time travel.
Your mind's playing tricks on you. Your hair darkened when you couldn't get
the tar out of it after the feathering.
>
>> But the paradox sounds like fun.
>>
>> Only if you implode at a safe distance.
>
>but you deserve a ringside seat
Somebody has to bear the child.
>
><Caligula ate his son right out of his sister's womb>
>just the concept is beyond the pale
Wow. Something that makes the fearsome Koalataur blanche. There's another
scene that is bound to be your favorite: Caligula fondles his grandmother and
then french kisses her in front of Uncle Claudius.
Come to think of it, if PBS needs a young man for the remake, I think I know
who they should contact...
>
>> >> >> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
>
>except they'd be kept on a leash. After all, you can't REALLY trust 'em
But the wizards can live pretty happy lives within those limits. Rosamun was
looked at as a weirdo, but she never received training and was nuts to boot.
And I would say the biggest corker in her leaving Palanthas was Gregor.
>
>><Rohan as my son?>
>> >you called me your son
>>
>> Because you called me a JPEG goddess. Was Paladine Elistan's father?
>
>there's a logical reason I chucked most of the multiple versions of the
>Church hierarchy...
You'll enlighten me on this one, I hope.
>
>> >> <Using the Tolstup essence to create a dragon orb>
>> >got a platoon of 'em working on continuity already
>>
>> See if they can make you consistent while they're at it.
>
>I'm usually consistent, and I know *DL* consistency well enough
Ahem. Who was it that said that Tika's father was not the same as the
Waylan who inspired Raistlin to pursue magic?
>
>> >> >> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
>> >> >>
>> >> <Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
<Because a man's butt filling out a pair of jeans is a thing of beauty.>
>> looking like an ironing board from the back is freedom? Don't even think
>about touching Antonio Banderas.
>
>after Ricky Martin he's my next appointment
The studio honchos'll get you first, or the insurance companies. A work of art
like that has to be insured.
>
>> <Jedi left Star Warriors panting for more for a long time>
>>
>> >I wasn't 21 when the last flick came out, remember?
>>
>> I keep forgetting you're a wee bairn.
>
>I suppose you support raising the voting age to forty as well?
No, I like being able to vote. At 40, only the politicians would be registered
voters.
>
<Altie might read Star War novels again if she can forget her bad experience>
>fair enough. I might try reading the Jedi Academy books, but whatever.
Let's see how it goes.
>
>> >> >> >muhahahahaha
>> You're all growl no foul, Koalataur.
>
>you have yet to see my interpretation of 'foul'
You'll put on a chicken suit and crow?
>
>> <Girl talk between Altie and Alison>
>> Sons don't talk about that kind of stuff with their mothers, but
>> mother-daughter like chats are supposed to prepare you for the outside
>world.
>
>reminds me of a Hagar cartoon I saw once
Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
>
>> >does your gun cabinet get more exotic than a .22?
>>
>> That and a Super Soaker water pistol.
>
>mine's the size of an Uzi
<laughs> That's what all men say.
>
>> >> You'd be delaying the inevitable. And unless a kender pops up, you
>> >wouldn't change the past at all.
>> >
>> >either way I'm up shit creek
>>
>> Without a paddle no less.
>
>I'd just use Bunsen as an outboard
I can see how you'd use the tail for steering, but where's the motor?
>
>> >> >> <Elistan's converts were at the root of the KoS, so they'd respect
>> >> >Crysania>
>> <The knights have functioned without a Church of Paladine for so long that
>> Crysania can only advise, not command.>
>> And if the Clerist disagreed with Crysania's advice, the knights would side
>> with the High Clerist, who as a member of the KoS would be seen as the
>> individual who best understands their order.
>
>presumably in the short time Pazza was actually around he could have
>done something...
Reality dictates that since he meddled so obviously as Fizban, he should have
laid down some law as Paladine, but it could be one of those convenient times
where the "let's not upset the balance" alibi was used. Perhaps the Disks of
Mishakal addressed the issue in a way the Church of Paladine might have
adopted.
>
>> >Crysania was smart enough to figure things out for herself. We're
>> >assuming she was taught something of politics, being a leader and all.
>
>> Again, given her depiction in Legends, she had a lot to learn in the
>aftermath of Elistan's death. The calm middle aged diplomat who stars
> in Tears was very different when she was in her twenties.
>
>pity we keep having to rely on questionable books. I've heard people
>say that Crysania was acting really out of character. In any event, she
>had thirty years to get her shit together.
On her personal life, I agree that it wasn't what I expected.. As a church
leader, I can see her taking things slow, considering the world nearly ended
the last time she let her heart take charge.
>
>> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Thanks, teach. What's tomorrow's lesson?
>> >> >
>> >> >Revolutions For Dummies
>> >>
>> >> Per your description, you're not going to have a full register for your
>> >class from among your fellow Aussie voters.
>> >
>> >I go internationale
>>
>> You'll be getting a lot of internationals from Indonesia soon enough.
>
>send some intercontinentals back
I'll send you Hillary. I hear she wants to become the next Aussie PM.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
>> >> >> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
<The KoS's delay in fixing the measure makes them chancy allies>
<The allies will react only if there is bloodshed, like in E. Timor>
<E. Timor's been oppressed by Indonesia for 24 years and the world
didn't blink>
I see the KoS' allies behaving much the same way as the world reacted
to E. Timor in those past 24 years, since the only thing that might have
gotten Porthios to do a double take, the alliance with the KoT, didn't
happen.
>> <Laurana had the restoration of Silvanesti to keep her occupied>
>Time of the Twins and The Legacy gave a pretty clear impression that her
>and Tanis were shuttle diplomats trying to draw the camps together
Tanis and Laurana were trying to be certain that the elves didn't turn their
backs on the KoS as they had prior to the war. I don't remember any of those
sources citing any concerns they may have had about the Measure.
>> >that's one reason I doubt R&S' canonical status. The KoT can only be
>> >rehabilitated if they regain their honour, which means losing Abrena.
>>
>> Reforming the KoT that early would throw Dragons of a New Age into a
>continuity quagmire.
>
>it could have easily been about the disparate groups taking on an
>invasion by ALL the gods. And if any book deserved the treatment Dark
>Heart got, it's those, especially EotM.
For better or for worse, Dragons of a New Age is canon, because it moves
the timeline forward. Having someone disregard Jean's work via backstory
is just as bad as what happened with Preludes.
>
>> >> <Sturm could grow up to be Vinus Solamnus or Jimmy Carter>
>> <Like Jimmy, Sturm not have the political instinct to oust Crownguard.>
>> >
>> >he would've made a good figurehead then. I can think of a lot of ways
>> >he could have made a difference within the knighthood.
>>
>> Gunthar had the same idea, but the WotL got in the way.
>
>WotL shone a bright light into the festhall
That was all the dragons having knight flambe.
>
>> >> >> >> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and
>> >Rohan disagrees>
>> >> >> <East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
<LoS and Eddings' Bear Cult have superfluousness in common>
>> The Bear Cult is superfluous (and very silly with all that waddling) but it
>is not well-meaning. It's an excuse for the High Priest of Belar to grab
>power.LoS at least has a worthy objective.
>
>do they? It's entirely possible that sinister interests set it up with
>Sara as their easily manipulated figurehead.
If the Shadow Sorceror was responsible for the vision from Steel, then you're
spot on.
>> >> <Linsha's vision won't satisfy your curiosity>
>> >>
>> >this feels a lot like 1984, with all these explanations suddenly popping
>> >up after only four years.
>>
>> Better late than never. And all the explanations will make great Hasbro
>> interactive modules.
>
><chunder><chunder>
>I think I'm about done
><retch>
Here Bunsen, here boy. Snack time.
>that bloody hurt. If they're going to bring in the LoS, it's their job
>to cushion the blow by explaining *specifically* why it was necessary,
>at the time and not four years later. I bear in mind how after Tom
>Baker finished his 8 year Doctor Who run they ran a season of his
>predecessors to remind viewers others had played the role.
But who wants to remember conflicting explanations? It's best to 'fess up,
take a stand and move on. It won't be a delayed explanation to the next
generation of DL fans.
>
>> <Bunsen's munching on inferior grade meat>
>> >>
>> >> Aren't you worried he'll get sick? E Coli can be passed on by gnawing
>> >infected meat.
>> >
>> >like I said, I've got a stash of identical labs
>>
>> You're fickle.
>
>no, just one of my personalities is sadistic
That's also the most consistent one of the lot.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
>> >> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
>> >> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
><Fizban would nail the seat down, Sirrion would nuke it>
>> >> Another reason not to cut off butt cheeks -- they protect vital areas
>> >against third degree burns.
>> >
>> >this is the reason only the good gods are allowed in
>>
>> And how will anyone keep them out? It's not like a deadbolt will hold up
>> against Tak.
>
>the inside of the cubicle's covered with leftwing graffiti. One look
>and her avatar spontaneously combusts. The muzak also contributes.
So the seat melts, one way or another. Your gnomes need to go back to
the drawing board. Don't forget to add the Disks of Mishakal for some light
reading material for those extended visits.
>> >> >> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
>> <Altarielle's friends got out while the getting was good>
>> >the bastards invaded 24 years ago
<Money changes everything>
>
>and how. IMF only lends if they're going to profit (ie, if socialist
>practices are abandoned), while everybody else is in bed with the power
>elites.
Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a bank that's not in it for the money.
>
>> <Male pets had best sow their wild oats before entering the Tolstrup
>household>
>
>not a chance
Poor Bunsen. He has to take out those frustrations on things like door mats.
>
<Aussies price dog licenses by the body part>
>> Now that's a clever way to do it. If you have overpopulation, you can also
>do the same thing with drivers' licenses. That'll bring teen pregnancy down.
>
>a cynical and somewhat unromantic approach.
Back seats are not romantic. Besides, it may also bring down insurance rates.
Then again, not being a driver, it wouldn't impact me all that much.
>Availability of frangers
>without having to actually be seen buying 'em works for me.
Explain frangers and then I'll say something suitably cynical and unromantic.
>
>> <Roleplaying the Human Torch at nine>
>> >
>> >> Ouch. So being the Dino of Flame comes naturally. Did it scar?
>> >
>> >yep. Still got the bloody things. I don't especially like fire.
>>
>> I've always had nightmares about drowning, although I haven't had a bad
>> experience in the water. I must admit that smelling smoke does make me
>jumpy though.
>
>for me it's the heat, and the ongoing pain
Pretty serious, if it's still bad after 12 years. I don't blame you for not
liking fire.
>
>> >I'm not going to lecture anybody on rationality right now
>>
>> Not feeling particularly rational?
>
>I spent an hour waiting for Simon to give up on Minesweeper Expert so I
>could check this out.
How well did he do? And what does Simon do when you're writing the
various Tolstrup op ed pieces for the list and AFDL?
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Bribing Altarielle's ferocious feline>
>> >> My cat will never surrender and become Ms. Bigglesworth.
>> >
>> >'knife goes in, guts come out'
>>
>> If I clean these out, I could make a wind chime out of you.
>
>don't you have to break bones to get the marrow?
If you insist.
>
<Officer Ripley knows best>
>
>> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
>> >> <singing lessons by appointment only>
>> >>
>> If running were the only *problem* it wouldn't be much of a Test.
>
>good thing I've also got a ceramic derringer secreted on my person
Shakedowns happen outside, before entering the Tower.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
><Leaves II casting couch>
>> >> Say no more. The videotape will hit the internet anytime now. Maybe
>> >Kinthalas can post the URL on his site.
>> >
>> >and I can mail *@aol.com with his real name, phone number and address?
>>
>> He can always claim artistic freedom under the First Amendment.
>
>bwahahahahahahahahaha
It worked for Tommy Lee and Pamela.
>
>> >> <Puckering deflects pistols>
>> >> I'll stand on the porch. It'll give me the added protection of the
>> >railing.
>> >
>> >ever flipped forward over a railing? I believe you have long hair.
>>
>> And you still think you'd have hands at this point?
>
>but then who'd be handling 'hand required' jobs for the rest of my life?
>Besides, I'm like a cockroach, and may have sent a padded Sean in my
>place. And he took a 9mm without noticing.
Then it's first class accommodations at the Roach Motel and the Mouse House for
you both.
>
>Besides, hair can be tied up in a bun.
>
>not if Spike (or "Vee") has stashed your scrunchies, pins etc
A sneaker lace will do. You won't be needing it anyway.
>
<Wining the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
>> You've got a better chance of buying stock and crashing the Hasbro meeting.
>
>seeing as Sean's world is this time last year, we can assume he's bought
>a lot of Hasbro stock by now as by the time the decision was made he's
>become quite a spy.
Then I'm surprised you didn't veto the merger as Anti-Trust. It's what the
majority shareholders are supposed to do if they're unhappy.
>
>> ><getoutofmymind!>
>> >> >I don't have any porn images in my head. I was more worried that you'd
>> >> >find my Great Australian Novel drafts and angst pits.
>> >>
>> >> I'm roasting chicken over the angst pits, and the novel makes great
>> >blackmail material.
>> >
>> >you sure you want to *eat* that?
>> I brought it in with me. The fridge in here was empty.
>
>you thought *that* was a fridge? Besides, have you thought about what
>you're using to roast the chook?
Boiled it in hot water first, so it's past is history.
>
>> >And in your opinion, now Turdmeister's
>> >got Justine the Bitch nailed to the table, what should he do?
>>
>> Send the novel to the author's parole officer?
>
>but the novel doesn't exist in his reality. I'm thinking perhaps that
>I'll revise the table to a bare bedframe, and arrange for Choda Boy to
>help TM. Do her alabaster skin and delicate rosehued highlights deserve
>a soldering iron or a Cuban cigar?
You're disfiguring the Venus De Milo? Isn't it bad enough that she has no
arms?
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> >> <Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
>> >I'll step down while retaining substantive control
>>
>> I don't think they'll be letting you out of the bowels of Mt. Nevermind
>> anytime soon.
>
>yer right, it'll take me a while to get all those guns and drugs moved.
You can always go via catapult, like good old Fizban did.
>
>> >> <Playing cops and stalkers>
>> >> The car part really happens more in LA than here.
>> >
>> >if that's what you like to think
>>
>> Think OJ. And OJ was not here in NYC.
>
>you've just got gun-toting subway users who 'feel threatened' iirc.
if they're in the subway, then they're not involved in car chases.
>
>> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
>> >> Spike might make good fuzzy dice.
>> >
>> >but those are illegal: they block the view
>>
>> You can always make a Davy Crockett hat out of him.
>
>I can say it's lionskin...
And Bunsen, of course, brought down the lion, together with an opossum or two.
>
>> >> <Another attempt on the resilient Vee cat>
>> >> >
>> >> >all together now: KZZZZZZZZZZZAPPPPPP <free x-ray>
>> >>
>> >> Vee effectively dodged flames to escape a fire. I think she's covered.
>> >
>> >time to find out *how* she did that. Biopsy-cum-autopsy.
>>
>> Squeezed herself out of a back window, btween the child safety guards. Has
>the ear scars to prove it.
>
>hot pussy. I take it Gilbert just waltzed through?
I don't know why he was unscarred, but I suspect he may have already been
outside snoozing. It was summer and he likes to spend more time outside than
in.
>
<Rohan's charming DM is molding him into a new character>
>> I'm glad your wonderfully astute DM is keeping those wilder impulses of
>yours in check.
>
>well, what was I supposed to do when confronted with a ship crewed
>exclusively by women?
Go down below and row?
>
>> >> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
>> >> >Astinus tends to be tightarsed about FoI.
>> >>
>> >> But Bertrem might feel sorry for you and let you take a peek.
>> >
>> >I don't *want* to know what his price is
>>
>> It should be slightly less kinky than Satan's.
>
>bear in mind that Bertrem is the single most likely person on Ansalon to
>go postal, while Satan isn't overburdened with dark fantasies.
He may have worked that all out when he killed the draconian in the Great
Library.
>
><soft as a feather>
<Mum's the word>
>that's what you think. And I could send ahead someone else who matches
>the vague physical description I've given you.
Goody. I like practice rounds.
>
>> >> >> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in
>> >> >Melbourne>
>> ><kitty control>
>> >> >I can control it, and the tail's the same length as yours.
>> >>
>> >> I get chauffered aboard in a luxury kitty carrier though.
>> >
>> >I travel business class, and am allowed to move
>>
>> Only to the end of that leash that's looped around the armrest.
>
>they don't leash cats. And I've got a bonded polymer shiv anyway.
They'll find it when you're declawed. And since it does cost three times more
to let you roam around intact ....
>
><customary festivities>
>> >practice for my lifequest
>>
>> Try to work in some consistency practice in there, too.
>
>where have I been inconsistent again?
Your memory's selective. Just read back a few posts.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
>> The zealots carry weapons blessed by their goddess to be especially
>effective againstl lycanthropes.
>
>silver's expensive and Sean, being quite Catholic, wouldn't believe in
>the power of your blessing, a major component in faith magic (vampires
>run from crosses because they believe it will hurt them)
Then Sean would think twice about crossing a genuine Madonna.
>
>> <Step up, back down>
>> >I know for a fact who in NYC has that kind of imaging/guidance gear, and
>> >you certainly don't.
>>
>> You don't know exactly what kind of financial tracking systems I build, do
>you?
>
>I know your name, address, measurements and television preferences. As
>the shadow partner in your organisation I'm fully aware of what you do.
First name, shadowy description, generous tips -- you have a wealth of info
alright.
>
>> Such endearing tenacity...
>
>good that you don't consider it a psychological disorder. Maybe we can
>talk about it in the park at 3am.
>
Central Park, then. By the way, is that a mosquito on your cheek?
Tolstrup
> through worship>
> >
> >it's an integral part of godhood, the same as we can't really imagine a
> >domesticated cow ending up as other than steak.
>
> But all cows do not become steak.
the vast majority do
They can be retired to farm sanctuaries
> or star in milk commercials.
these are exceptions
>There's got to be a hermit god out there.
> Maybe Zivilyn?
like FR Mystra he evidently has his own power source (she's a greater
power but who worships magic?)
> > I suppose he ceases to exist (a la Rose of the Prophet) if he doesn't
> > become God of Dentists (in which case Sargonnas and Hiddukel desire
> a chat).
>
> But Chaos seeks to restore all to oblivion. Where does a god who wants
> no worshippers get his power from?
chaotic acts, fear of chaos (any 'law and order' political campaign
should suffice here)...
> And if the God of Dentists wants to talk to anyone it's Chemosh, who
> can keep him stocked in dental implants, and Morgion, who can inspire
> plagues of gum disease and cavities.
patient molestation and vindictiveness don't cut it?
> >> >> <Minions would either be soulless drones or would look to rule in
> the gods' place>
>
> <Why would the gods share their worship fuel with minions?>
<tax revenue distribution>
> But then the gods have the burden of being tax collectors. This distracts
> them from the very multiplanar conflicts the gods sought to focus on by
> delegating Krynn to minions.
I'm sure it's possible to appoint subordinates who can credibly do the
job while still needing the boss
> >> <Tak's minions would be the first to overthrow her>
> <It would take Tak more effort to punish minions than humans.>
<1984ing minions>
> Like she so successfully did in the WotL with mere humans?
she didn't care about the humans; she had enough people looking for
Berem
> >> >>< Info without muscle gets you in jail on trumped up charges>
> >the IMF in particular is the strongest instrument of imperialism I've
> >ever seen.
>
> But you can't get the IMF to push your rival out of the top spot.
remember how the yanks indicated their displeasure with Dr
Boutros-Ghali?
> >> >> >> <Fidel Tolstrup>
> >> >> <Cuba doesn't need an army because no one wants the US for a neighbor>
> ><Cuban Defence Force - for defending against Cubans>
> >cool. Do beat cops get to pack AKs?
>
> I don't know, but in Argentina they rolled out the tanks to stop a teacher's
> strike.
wimps. Apache gunships at least.
> < The line for Altarielle's heart forms at the back>
<cleaning up rivals>
> Bring Bunsen with you so he can clean up when you're done
of course, I will be dining on something infinitely more delicious
> <One blind mouse, see how he runs>
> >Sean gets a flash of the knife coming, shits a gun and wastes her
>
> She's given him Maalox and he's constipated.
probably immune (he's immune to toxins). Probably in implanted holster.
> >> >> <Melbourne rain dance>
> >I believe Steve Miller referred to himself as a Continuity Cop
>
> But Steve doesn't care if other people are inconsistent -- he just speaks for
> himself.
didn't he define Doug Niles as official on Ariakas, while ignoring the
stipulation that any woman voluntarily sleeping with him dies in a year?
> <Altie is born in the USA>
> >immigration scams going back decades? I'm impressed.
>
> Spoken like a true descendant of Botany Bay.
Dad's family came over in the gold rush, and nobody admits to convicts
in the direct line. The gold rush was after all when Victoria took off.
> <Why doesn't anyone believe I am who I say I am?>
<she didn't give the Sicilian response>
> Tempting thought, but then he probably would have used sign language to
> say "I knew it!" The only reason he got my real name was because I knew
> he didn't believe me to begin with.
you know he was secretly fantasizing about you unloading a sawnoff into
his chest
> >> >> >> <Simon looks like his Mom, Rohan like his Dad>
> >starting to feel old?
> Compared to Mercy, I don't think so. My sister's older than your mother.
> My Dad was 44 when I was born.
Dad was the youngest of four (two survived childhood), his father was
34. He was 29. Any other family members get adjectives? Chastity (a
friend of Gilbert's) looks somewhat like you. Or by the time they got
to you they were down to Naivete or Devastation?
> >> <List of formula writers>
> <Comparative reading lists>
>
> Is the book an Aussie deal, or is it something that sits on the international
> best seller lists? I have not read a good thriller in a while. "Hannibal" was
> just awful.
sucked in. Definitely a library job. Chris Ryan (SAS sergeant) and Dan
Mahoney (NYPD captain) have each written several books about their
respective prior careers. I find them interesting as Mahoney's alter
ego is a cynical bastard begging for an official inquiry, while Ryan's
is a vigilante. Detective First Grade was a great antidote to the
Aussie diet of squeaky clean tv cops.
> >> <Gambling on the jousts>
> <Casino monopoly is legal in Australia>
casinos are inherently biased in that it's usually the lower classes who
get addicted to the one-armed bandit. Here the casino was meant to be
for jetsetting high-rollers, but it's mainly for proles who leave kids
in parked cars.
> >> <Betting on Knights adds to the Arthurian atmosphere>
<Henry VIII, athlete?>
> He did joust, Koalataur. In fact, his grossly infected leg that made his last
> two wives
> gag was a result of a fall in a joust. I'd love to see who had the nerve to
> knock him off his horse, and whether the guy lost his head or was disemboweled.
Henry probably buggered him. I believe one wife slept around and the
other somehow outlived him?
> >> <Spinning discs>
> >my understanding was that a record was defined as vinyl
>
> It's a record of your voice. Vinyl is just a specific type.
razzerfrazzen
> >> >> ><Casino was kewl>
> >> ><Pesci getting buried alive, Yay!>
> >> <vocal cord snipping should be expanded beyond dogs>
> <Fran Drescher should share Pesci's fate>
>
> >if she gets shot I'll publicly say you were with me on the night in
> >question
>
> In spirit, of course.
try to see my PoV
> >> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
> >I'd keep going much longer than Prince Tampax. I'm clean-livin'
>
> You don't know what you're getting yourself into. I bathe daily and require my
> showers to be long, hot, and sudsy.
I'd make several cakes
> >> >> >> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
> >> <Bunsen, little league anarchist>
> >Morten's the one that wants Dad dead.
>
> No I don't think so. Morten needs Mr. Tolstrup Sr. alive to take care of
> you and Simon. And concession food is not *all* bad.
we ARE somewhat dependant on Mum...
> >And the mower wouldn't work on
> >humans, who being American probably have .45s.
>
> You're supposed to rattle the outfielders, not chew them. That's
> Bunsen's job.
now I'm meant to mow a playing field with a manual mower?
> >> >> >> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
> >> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
> <Unlike Sturm, the huntsman believes in living to fight another day.>
> >
> >he would of course die for Snow...
> Only if the Queen boxed him in corner and gave him the Gnimsh treatment.
hmm. But he's just too idealistic, and would put a cramp on her
seducing power.
> >> <Where's a good ambulance chaser when you need one?>
<right to legal counsel?>
> >technically, yes. You are aware that Yanks trying to appeal death
> >sentences are denied counsel for key stages, and a sleeping lawyer is
> >considered adequate?
>
> This strengthens your appeal chances though. Better than the Solamnic method,
> that left a farm boy like Sturm to fend for himself.
it looked like a fairly straightforward presentation of fact; you need a
lawyer for procedural reasons I'd say.
<Ecstacy, spice of life>
> Ecstacy is a result of the variety.
another area where I have yet to begin to fight
> >> >I was blond originally.
> >>
> >> But I never was.
> >
> >you were after being tortured in a bath of industrial bleach. I'm
> >pretty sure that's happened by now. Bloody time travel.
>
> Your mind's playing tricks on you. Your hair darkened when you couldn't get
> the tar out of it after the feathering.
the bastards did that to a seven year-old?
> >but you deserve a ringside seat
>
> Somebody has to bear the child.
foiled again. I'd advise you to call the bomb squad then.
> ><Caligula ate his son right out of his sister's womb>
>
> >just the concept is beyond the pale
>
> Wow. Something that makes the fearsome Koalataur blanche. There's another
> scene that is bound to be your favorite: Caligula fondles his grandmother and
> then french kisses her in front of Uncle Claudius.
eww
> Come to think of it, if PBS needs a young man for the remake, I think I know
> who they should contact...
I don't have the figure
> >> >> >> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
> But the wizards can live pretty happy lives within those limits. Rosamun was
> looked at as a weirdo, but she never received training and was nuts to boot.
> And I would say the biggest corker in her leaving Palanthas was Gregor.
she came from Palanthas? DoWN had it that she'd always lived in Solace.
Anyway, nobody had a reason to fear her, unlike a competent mage.
> >><Rohan as my son?>
> >there's a logical reason I chucked most of the multiple versions of the
> >Church hierarchy...
>
> You'll enlighten me on this one, I hope.
all this 'revered son' 'chosen prophet' etc
> >> >> <Using the Tolstup essence to create a dragon orb>
> >I'm usually consistent, and I know *DL* consistency well enough
>
> Ahem. Who was it that said that Tika's father was not the same as the
> Waylan who inspired Raistlin to pursue magic?
I didn't *assert* that. Maybe I raised it as possibility though.
Actually he had a psychedelic trip from Rosamun's breast milk.
> >> >> >> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
> >> >> >>
> >> >> <Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
> <Because a man's butt filling out a pair of jeans is a thing of beauty.>
<Ricky Martin, your arse is mine>
> The studio honchos'll get you first, or the insurance companies. A work of art
> like that has to be insured.
so I'll go covert. And I was so looking forward to the parade
> >> <Jedi left Star Warriors panting for more for a long time>
> >I suppose you support raising the voting age to forty as well?
>
> No, I like being able to vote. At 40, only the politicians would be registered
> voters.
here it's compulsory, a problem equal in proportion to it being
voluntary there. And it's not like either of us can make a difference
without the aid of a shitload of explosives.
> <Altie might read Star War novels again if she can forget her bad experience>
> >you have yet to see my interpretation of 'foul'
>
> You'll put on a chicken suit and crow?
no, different spelling and meaning, more so than Henry
> >> <Girl talk between Altie and Alison>
> >reminds me of a Hagar cartoon I saw once
>
> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
something I may even have seen in the distant past
> >> >does your gun cabinet get more exotic than a .22?
> >>
> >> That and a Super Soaker water pistol.
> >
> >mine's the size of an Uzi
> <laughs> That's what all men say.
Ros, I was referring to a water pistol. Get your mind out of the gutter
> >I'd just use Bunsen as an outboard
>
> I can see how you'd use the tail for steering, but where's the motor?
legs and arse. The way fish move.
> >presumably in the short time Pazza was actually around he could have
> >done something...
>
> Reality dictates that since he meddled so obviously as Fizban, he should have
> laid down some law as Paladine, but it could be one of those convenient times
> where the "let's not upset the balance" alibi was used. Perhaps the Disks of
> Mishakal addressed the issue in a way the Church of Paladine might have
> adopted.
Reality and Krynn - compatible?
> >pity we keep having to rely on questionable books. I've heard people
> >say that Crysania was acting really out of character. In any event, she
> >had thirty years to get her shit together.
>
> On her personal life, I agree that it wasn't what I expected.. As a church
> leader, I can see her taking things slow, considering the world nearly ended
> the last time she let her heart take charge.
but she also knew change was needed NOW, and strike while the iron's hot
> >> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
I can *knock buildings down* dear
<can't get local revolutionaries>
> >> >I go internationale
> >>
> >> You'll be getting a lot of internationals from Indonesia soon enough.
> >
> >send some intercontinentals back
>
> I'll send you Hillary. I hear she wants to become the next Aussie PM.
sounds about as representative as the current govt. And she'd have to
do one hell of an apprenticeship to get anywhere.
> >> >> >> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
> >> >> >> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
> <The KoS's delay in fixing the measure makes them chancy allies>
>
> <The allies will react only if there is bloodshed, like in E. Timor>
>
> <E. Timor's been oppressed by Indonesia for 24 years and the world
> didn't blink>
>
> I see the KoS' allies behaving much the same way as the world reacted
> to E. Timor in those past 24 years, since the only thing that might have
> gotten Porthios to do a double take, the alliance with the KoT, didn't
> happen.
that was just insensitive of Gunthar. And he only really got into the
alliance after the High Clerist's Tower, implying that the Measure *was*
a major cause for concern.
> >> <Laurana had the restoration of Silvanesti to keep her occupied>
<Mr & Mrs Half-Elven, shuttle diplomats>
> Tanis and Laurana were trying to be certain that the elves didn't turn their
> backs on the KoS as they had prior to the war. I don't remember any of those
> sources citing any concerns they may have had about the Measure.
the elves aren't going to cough up without being convinced the KoS are
serious, and that means Tanis and Laurana having credible info on how
they're stopping their pre-Cataclysm practices.
> >it could have easily been about the disparate groups taking on an
> >invasion by ALL the gods. And if any book deserved the treatment Dark
> >Heart got, it's those, especially EotM.
>
> For better or for worse, Dragons of a New Age is canon, because it moves
> the timeline forward. Having someone disregard Jean's work via backstory
> is just as bad as what happened with Preludes.
it was okay to nuke Dark Heart, so why not EotM? In any event, WotC
could've pulled that piece of shit when they took over, but didn't
(while nuking Shores of Dusk)
> >> >> <Sturm could grow up to be Vinus Solamnus or Jimmy Carter>
> >> <Like Jimmy, Sturm not have the political instinct to oust Crownguard.>
> >WotL shone a bright light into the festhall
> That was all the dragons having knight flambe.
more like Watergate
> >> >> >> >> <Altarielle still thinks Tanis had a good opinion of Gunthar and
> >> >Rohan disagrees>
> >> >> >> <East is East, West is West, KoS is still the best>.
> <LoS and Eddings' Bear Cult have superfluousness in common>
<LoS mean well>
> >do they? It's entirely possible that sinister interests set it up with
> >Sara as their easily manipulated figurehead.
>
> If the Shadow Sorceror was responsible for the vision from Steel, then you're
> spot on.
the fundamental DL lesson is STICK TOGETHER. If good's screwed, then
instead of starting a new order fix up the old one.
> >> >> <Linsha's vision won't satisfy your curiosity>
> >> Better late than never. And all the explanations will make great Hasbro
> >> interactive modules.
> >
> ><chunder><chunder>
> >I think I'm about done
> ><retch>
>
> Here Bunsen, here boy. Snack time.
I wouldn't want him near all that bile
> >that bloody hurt. If they're going to bring in the LoS, it's their job
> >to cushion the blow by explaining *specifically* why it was necessary,
> >at the time and not four years later. I bear in mind how after Tom
> >Baker finished his 8 year Doctor Who run they ran a season of his
> >predecessors to remind viewers others had played the role.
>
> But who wants to remember conflicting explanations? It's best to 'fess up,
> take a stand and move on. It won't be a delayed explanation to the next
> generation of DL fans.
what next generation? And the explanations should have been in Dragons
of Summer Flame, not Silver Hearts. It's a matter of logical
continuity, no matter when you read the series.
> >
> >> <Bunsen's munching on inferior grade meat>
> >> You're fickle.
> >
> >no, just one of my personalities is sadistic
>
> That's also the most consistent one of the lot.
well, I wouldn't say SADISTIC
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
> >> >> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> >> >> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
> ><Fizban would nail the seat down, Sirrion would nuke it>
> >> And how will anyone keep them out? It's not like a deadbolt will hold up
> >> against Tak.
> >
> >the inside of the cubicle's covered with leftwing graffiti. One look
> >and her avatar spontaneously combusts. The muzak also contributes.
>
> So the seat melts, one way or another. Your gnomes need to go back to
> the drawing board. Don't forget to add the Disks of Mishakal for some light
> reading material for those extended visits.
*one look.* Besides, Takhy'd take too long trying to figure out which
can to use. Disks? Evidently the gods haven't read them either.
There's already a stack of copies of EotM next to the throne.
> >> >> >> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
> >> <Altarielle's friends got out while the getting was good>
> >> >the bastards invaded 24 years ago
> <Money changes everything>
> >
> >and how. IMF only lends if they're going to profit (ie, if socialist
> >practices are abandoned), while everybody else is in bed with the power
> >elites.
>
> Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a bank that's not in it for the money.
so delightfully shortsighted at that. Wouldn't they make more money in
the long run if the living standard was higher?
> >> <Male pets had best sow their wild oats before entering the Tolstrup
> >household>
> >
> >not a chance
>
> Poor Bunsen. He has to take out those frustrations on things like door mats.
I dunno. I read somewhere balls aren't a requirement, and he's either
trying to remove something that's attached or autofellating.
> <Aussies price dog licenses by the body part>
> >a cynical and somewhat unromantic approach.
>
> Back seats are not romantic. Besides, it may also bring down insurance rates.
> Then again, not being a driver, it wouldn't impact me all that much.
sounds like the prototypical political statement
> >Availability of frangers
> >without having to actually be seen buying 'em works for me.
>
> Explain frangers and then I'll say something suitably cynical and unromantic.
prophylactics
> >> <Roleplaying the Human Torch at nine>
> >for me it's the heat, and the ongoing pain
>
> Pretty serious, if it's still bad after 12 years. I don't blame you for not
> liking fire.
feels like plastic
> >> Not feeling particularly rational?
> >
> >I spent an hour waiting for Simon to give up on Minesweeper Expert so I
> >could check this out.
>
> How well did he do? And what does Simon do when you're writing the
> various Tolstrup op ed pieces for the list and AFDL?
he beat Expert, then knocked off my Intermediate record. He tends to be
working or whatever.
> >> If I clean these out, I could make a wind chime out of you.
> >
> >don't you have to break bones to get the marrow?
>
> If you insist.
but then they'd be deformed and less use as chimes
> <Officer Ripley knows best>
> >
> >> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
> >> >> <singing lessons by appointment only>
> >> If running were the only *problem* it wouldn't be much of a Test.
> >good thing I've also got a ceramic derringer secreted on my person
> Shakedowns happen outside, before entering the Tower.
*secreted*
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
> ><Leaves II casting couch>
> >> He can always claim artistic freedom under the First Amendment.
> >
> >bwahahahahahahahahaha
>
> It worked for Tommy Lee and Pamela.
the American Bill of Rights....
<Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
> >> >ever flipped forward over a railing? I believe you have long hair.
> >>
> >> And you still think you'd have hands at this point?
> >
> >but then who'd be handling 'hand required' jobs for the rest of my life?
> >Besides, I'm like a cockroach, and may have sent a padded Sean in my
> >place. And he took a 9mm without noticing.
>
> Then it's first class accommodations at the Roach Motel and the Mouse House for
> you both.
cool. Sean is of course waiting to dry you and tuck you in.
> >Besides, hair can be tied up in a bun.
> >
> >not if Spike (or "Vee") has stashed your scrunchies, pins etc
>
> A sneaker lace will do. You won't be needing it anyway.
but I'll be wearing tabi, which use elastic
> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
> >seeing as Sean's world is this time last year, we can assume he's bought
> >a lot of Hasbro stock by now as by the time the decision was made he's
> >become quite a spy.
>
> Then I'm surprised you didn't veto the merger as Anti-Trust. It's what the
> majority shareholders are supposed to do if they're unhappy.
he's not going to go up against Satan just yet
> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
> >> >you sure you want to *eat* that?
> >> I brought it in with me. The fridge in here was empty.
> >
> >you thought *that* was a fridge? Besides, have you thought about what
> >you're using to roast the chook?
>
> Boiled it in hot water first, so it's past is history.
I'm surprised you can stand near the angst pits without fantasising
about Baby Spice and a Triad knife
> >> >And in your opinion, now Turdmeister's
> >> >got Justine the Bitch nailed to the table, what should he do?
> >>
> >> Send the novel to the author's parole officer?
> >
> >but the novel doesn't exist in his reality. I'm thinking perhaps that
> >I'll revise the table to a bare bedframe, and arrange for Choda Boy to
> >help TM. Do her alabaster skin and delicate rosehued highlights deserve
> >a soldering iron or a Cuban cigar?
>
> You're disfiguring the Venus De Milo? Isn't it bad enough that she has no
> arms?
no, this one's delightfully squishy
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >> >> <Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
<stuck in Mt Nevermind>
> >yer right, it'll take me a while to get all those guns and drugs moved.
>
> You can always go via catapult, like good old Fizban did.
I'm looking at submarines
> >> >> <Playing cops and stalkers>
> >> Think OJ. And OJ was not here in NYC.
> >
> >you've just got gun-toting subway users who 'feel threatened' iirc.
>
> if they're in the subway, then they're not involved in car chases.
and if somebody farts?
> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
> >> You can always make a Davy Crockett hat out of him.
> >
> >I can say it's lionskin...
>
> And Bunsen, of course, brought down the lion, together with an opossum or two.
oopsie. Bunsen's the hat, while Spike is more like a pair of gloves.
> >> >> <Another attempt on the resilient Vee cat>
> >> Squeezed herself out of a back window, btween the child safety guards. Has
> >the ear scars to prove it.
> >
> >hot pussy. I take it Gilbert just waltzed through?
>
> I don't know why he was unscarred, but I suspect he may have already been
> outside snoozing. It was summer and he likes to spend more time outside than
> in.
so, how much was it insured for and what accelerant did you use?
> <Rohan's charming DM is molding him into a new character>
> >well, what was I supposed to do when confronted with a ship crewed
> >exclusively by women?
>
> Go down below and row?
female paladin character remember
> >> >> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
<Bertrem, postal worker>
> He may have worked that all out when he killed the draconian in the Great
> Library.
no, now he wants to go on to bigger and better feats of devastation
> ><soft as a feather>
> <Mum's the word>
> >that's what you think. And I could send ahead someone else who matches
> >the vague physical description I've given you.
>
> Goody. I like practice rounds.
good, because that's what's in your gun
> >> >> >> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in
> >> >> >Melbourne>
> >> ><kitty control>
> >they don't leash cats. And I've got a bonded polymer shiv anyway.
>
> They'll find it when you're declawed.
sounds invasive. Was it Con Air or U.S. Marshals?
And since it does cost three times more
> to let you roam around intact ....
er, I'm officially catagorised as human
<sweat>
> ><customary festivities>
> >where have I been inconsistent again?
>
> Your memory's selective. Just read back a few posts.
whawhuzzatwhada****
> >> >> >> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
> >> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
> >silver's expensive and Sean, being quite Catholic, wouldn't believe in
> >the power of your blessing, a major component in faith magic (vampires
> >run from crosses because they believe it will hurt them)
>
> Then Sean would think twice about crossing a genuine Madonna.
he's also murdered three blokes, although they had it coming. And he'd
probably take the Catholic approach and presume you're lying.
> >> <Step up, back down>
>>I know your name, address, measurements and television preferences. >>As the shadow partner in your organisation I'm fully aware of what you do.
>First name, shadowy description, generous tips -- you have a wealth of >info alright.
but that's what you think. As for your beautiful tips, I envisage the
day I hold them in my hands, fondle and caress them, and keep 'em in a
jar under my bed with the collection. Oh, and don't forget the
pocket-sized apparel with room for Bunsen's head so he can track you.
>>> Such endearing tenacity...
>Central Park, then. By the way, is that a mosquito on your cheek?
Penetrato, the latest werecritter to join the pack, hitching a lift.
Can I interest you in a S&W ASP 9mm? Fits in a pocket, can take some
pretty impressive ammo (with clear grips and magazine) and has a
guttersnipe sight designed for fast acquisition.
Rohan Tolstrup, pedlar on the street of love
"I'm not a mouse. I'm a rat, Are, Ay, Tea. I'm also holding a kilo of
Semtex. I have a proposition for you..." - Sean Kelly
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> <The gods are hatched fully powered but their batteries need recharging
>> through worship>
<This can't be true of all gods, because exceptions exist like Zivilyn and
Mystra>
>> But Chaos seeks to restore all to oblivion. Where does a god who wants
>> no worshippers get his power from?
>
>chaotic acts, fear of chaos (any 'law and order' political campaign
>should suffice here)...
It doesn't make sense to me that Chaos would seek his own demise by returning
everything to Oblivion, which is more like the absence of activity than
disorder.
>
>> And if the God of Dentists wants to talk to anyone it's Chemosh, who
>> can keep him stocked in dental implants, and Morgion, who can inspire
>> plagues of gum disease and cavities.
>
>patient molestation and vindictiveness don't cut it?
As in all medical professions, it's business before pleasure.
>
>> >> >> <Minions would either be soulless drones or would look to rule in
>> the gods' place>
>>
>> <Why would the gods share their worship fuel with minions?>
>I'm sure it's possible to appoint subordinates who can credibly do the
>job while still needing the boss
Needing the boss is only a phase in a career. Unless they're Borg, the minions
will want to move up, either benignly or belligerently.
>
>> >> <Tak's minions would be the first to overthrow her>
>> <It would take Tak more effort to punish minions than humans.>
><1984ing minions>
>> Like she so successfully did in the WotL with mere humans?
>
>she didn't care about the humans; she had enough people looking for
>Berem
She should have cared about Raistlin and Fist, since these mortals came close
to dethroning her.
>
>> >> >>< Info without muscle gets you in jail on trumped up charges>
>remember how the yanks indicated their displeasure with Dr
>Boutros-Ghali?
Yes. Boutros-Ghali became a running gag on "Late Night with David Letterman."
>
>> ><Cuban Defence Force - for defending against Cubans>
>> in Argentina they rolled out the tanks to stop a teacher's strike.
>
>wimps. Apache gunships at least.
Walking on Argentine streets is very safe though, as long as you're not on
strike.
>
>> < The line for Altarielle's heart forms at the back>
><cleaning up rivals>
>> Bring Bunsen with you so he can clean up when you're done
>
>of course, I will be dining on something infinitely more delicious
Glad to hear Spike shares his oppossums with you.
>
>> <One blind mouse, see how he runs>
>> >Sean gets a flash of the knife coming, shits a gun and wastes her
>>
>> She's given him Maalox and he's constipated.
>
>probably immune (he's immune to toxins). Probably in implanted holster.
Since he's probably immune to laxatives, she can just give him a stomach virus
and watch him explode from retention.
>
<Officer Steve Miller, Continuity Cop>
>didn't he define Doug Niles as official on Ariakas, while ignoring the
>stipulation that any woman voluntarily sleeping with him dies in a year?
Sometimes you have to pick your poison. Steve's never said that his personal
canon should become the official canon.
>
>> <Altie is born in the USA>
>> >immigration scams going back decades? I'm impressed.
>>
>> Spoken like a true descendant of Botany Bay.
>
>Dad's family came over in the gold rush, and nobody admits to convicts
>in the direct line. The gold rush was after all when Victoria took off.
Where there's gold, there's convicts.
>
>> <Why doesn't anyone believe I am who I say I am?>
><she didn't give the Sicilian response>
>you know he was secretly fantasizing about you unloading a sawnoff into
>his chest
He was annoying and I wasn't about to reward him for it.
>
<Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
>Dad was the youngest of four (two survived childhood), his father was
>34. He was 29. Any other family members get adjectives? Chastity (a
>friend of Gilbert's) looks somewhat like you. Or by the time they got
>to you they were down to Naivete or Devastation?
Mercy the Merciless is in a class by herself. I didn't get the goddess label
until I was a teenager and started amassing male worshippers.
>
>> >> <List of formula writers>
>> <Comparative reading lists>
>>
<description of Rohan's latest reading assignment>
I don't usually read books about the NYPD. There are more than enough stories
about them in the daily newspaper.
>> >> <Gambling on the jousts>
>> <Casino monopoly is legal in Australia>
>casinos are inherently biased in that it's usually the lower classes who
>get addicted to the one-armed bandit. Here the casino was meant to be
>for jetsetting high-rollers, but it's mainly for proles who leave kids
>in parked cars.
You can't put a money barrier on casino entry or it's discriminatory. Like
cigarettes and booze, gambling is something that can't harm you if you don't
choose to do it. Being poor doesn't mean that someone automatically has no
common sense.
>
>> >> <Betting on Knights adds to the Arthurian atmosphere>
><Henry VIII, athlete?>
<Henry hurt his leg for life when someone foolishly beat him in a joust>
>Henry probably buggered him. I believe one wife slept around and the
>other somehow outlived him?
Here's what happened to the 6 wives: Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced
beheaded, survived.
>
>> >> <Spinning discs>
>> >my understanding was that a record was defined as vinyl
>>
>> It's a record of your voice. Vinyl is just a specific type.
>
>razzerfrazzen
Glad you see it my way.
>
>> <Fran Drescher should share Pesci's fate>
>>
>> >if she gets shot I'll publicly say you were with me on the night in
>> >question
>>
>> In spirit, of course.
>
>try to see my PoV
No. That would make me an accessory after the fact.
>
>> >> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
>> >I'd keep going much longer than Prince Tampax. I'm clean-livin'
>>
>> You don't know what you're getting yourself into. I bathe daily and require
>my showers to be long, hot, and sudsy.
>
>I'd make several cakes
Maybe I should ship you to Peter Atkinson then. I hear he needs to refurbish
the mens' room at WotC.
>
>> >> >> >> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
>> >> <Bunsen, little league anarchist>
>> >Morten's the one that wants Dad dead.
>>
>> No I don't think so. Morten needs Mr. Tolstrup Sr. alive to take care of
>> you and Simon. And concession food is not *all* bad.
>
>we ARE somewhat dependant on Mum...
She gets you every weekend and you can alternate holidays.
>
>now I'm meant to mow a playing field with a manual mower?
You could get a US adapter or fool everyone by pushing the mower around and go
"BZZZZ."
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
>> >> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
>> <Unlike Sturm, the huntsman believes in living to fight another day.>
>> >
>> >he would of course die for Snow...
>> Only if the Queen boxed him in corner and gave him the Gnimsh treatment.
>
>hmm. But he's just too idealistic, and would put a cramp on her
>seducing power.
Every seductress needs a bodyguard. Even Kit had Soth.
>
>> >> <Where's a good ambulance chaser when you need one?>
><right to legal counsel?>
>
>> This strengthens your appeal chances though. Better than the Solamnic
>method, that left a farm boy like Sturm to fend for himself.
>
>it looked like a fairly straightforward presentation of fact; you need a
>lawyer for procedural reasons I'd say.
You need a lawyer to set a precedent, and Sturm's case certainly qualified for
one. He didn't do anything wrong, but still broke the law.
>
><Ecstacy, spice of life>
>> Ecstacy is a result of the variety.
>
>another area where I have yet to begin to fight
Drugs are bad, uhm, okay.
>
>> >> >I was blond originally.
>> Your mind's playing tricks on you. Your hair darkened when you couldn't
>get the tar out of it after the feathering.
>
>the bastards did that to a seven year-old?
He was really Damien Thorne.
>
>> >but you deserve a ringside seat
>>
>> Somebody has to bear the child.
>
>foiled again. I'd advise you to call the bomb squad then.
Only after I'm certain the bomb has gone off.
>
>> ><Caligula ate his son right out of his sister's womb>
>>
<Caligula was Tandar and he french kissed his real granny>
>> Come to think of it, if PBS needs a young man for the remake, I think I
>know who they should contact...
>
>I don't have the figure
I didn't have you in mind to play the grandma, but whatever turns you on.
>
>> >> >> >> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
<Rosamun was shunned because she was crazy, not because of her magic.>
>she came from Palanthas? DoWN had it that she'd always lived in Solace.
>Anyway, nobody had a reason to fear her, unlike a competent mage.
In the Soulforge, they explain that Gregor and Rosamun high tailed it to Solace
because Gregor was being pursued for something that he'd done.
>
>> >I'm usually consistent, and I know *DL* consistency well enough
>>
>> Ahem. Who was it that said that Tika's father was not the same as the
>> Waylan who inspired Raistlin to pursue magic?
>
>I didn't *assert* that.
Not after Morten pointed out the quote that said otherwise.
>Maybe I raised it as possibility though.
>Actually he had a psychedelic trip from Rosamun's breast milk.
Leave it to Gilon to give Rosamun LSD and tell her it's good for the baby.
>
>> >> >> >> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> <Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
>> <Because a man's butt filling out a pair of jeans is a thing of beauty.>
><Ricky Martin, your arse is mine>
Out-troduction.
>
>so I'll go covert. And I was so looking forward to the parade
Ricky's fan club will be happy to parade you to the scaffold.
>
>> >> <Jedi left Star Warriors panting for more for a long time>
>> >I suppose you support raising the voting age to forty as well?
>>
>> No, I like being able to vote. At 40, only the politicians would be
>registered voters.
>
>here it's compulsory, a problem equal in proportion to it being
>voluntary there. And it's not like either of us can make a difference
>without the aid of a shitload of explosives.
Not worth it. You don't know when a Bill Clinton will come along and grant
amnesty in exchange for a block of votes.
>
>> >you have yet to see my interpretation of 'foul'
>>
>> You'll put on a chicken suit and crow?
>
>no, different spelling and meaning, more so than Henry
You're going to break your leg and grow gangrene on it?
>
>> >> <Girl talk between Altie and Alison>
>> >reminds me of a Hagar cartoon I saw once
>>
>> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
>
>something I may even have seen in the distant past
Marmaduke is a Great Dane who thinks he's a puppy and he appears with Hagar in
the daily comics.
>
>> >> >does your gun cabinet get more exotic than a .22?
>> >>
>> >> That and a Super Soaker water pistol.
>> >
>> >mine's the size of an Uzi
>> <laughs> That's what all men say.
>
>Ros, I was referring to a water pistol. Get your mind out of the gutter
Keep talking out of both sides of your mouth like that and you'll be PM before
you are 30.
>
>> >I'd just use Bunsen as an outboard
>>
>> I can see how you'd use the tail for steering, but where's the motor?
>
>legs and arse. The way fish move.
Fish have legs? Besides, the tail fin is more of a propulsion unit on a fish
than a rudder.
>
<Paladine could have instructed his clerics on church procedures before he
left>
>
>Reality and Krynn - compatible?
It stands to reason that Fiz would have instructed his clerics, given that Tak
had such a head start in establishing her worship.
>
<Crysania expanded her leadership skills slowly because of her bad experience
with Raistlin>
>but she also knew change was needed NOW, and strike while the iron's hot
Raistlin showed her the misery in Palanthas, and she probably stuck to helping
her immediate parish first. Besides, Crysania would need to work on her own
administrative skills, as well as accustom herself to living with her
blindness.
>
>> >> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
>I can *knock buildings down* dear
A house of cards doesn't count.
>
><can't get local revolutionaries>
>> >> >I go internationale
>> I'll send you Hillary. I hear she wants to become the next Aussie PM.
>
>sounds about as representative as the current govt. And she'd have to
>do one hell of an apprenticeship to get anywhere.
There's always Bill's contacts. He laid the groundwork while he was out in New
Zealand the other week.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><Whitestone *isn't* the UN>
>> >> >> >> <Whitestone was just a caucus without any legislative authority>
>> <The KoS's delay in fixing the measure makes them chancy allies>
>>
>> <The allies will react only if there is bloodshed, like in E. Timor>
>>
>> <E. Timor's been oppressed by Indonesia for 24 years and the world
>> didn't blink>
>
>that was just insensitive of Gunthar. And he only really got into the
>alliance after the High Clerist's Tower, implying that the Measure *was*
>a major cause for concern.
Right behind the fact that the isolationist policies of the Solamnics, elves
and dwarves almost got everyone killed, highlighting the need for at least an
exchange of statuses every now and then.
>
>> >> <Laurana had the restoration of Silvanesti to keep her occupied>
><Mr & Mrs Half-Elven, shuttle diplomats>
>
>the elves aren't going to cough up without being convinced the KoS are
>serious, and that means Tanis and Laurana having credible info on how
>they're stopping their pre-Cataclysm practices.
It wasn't the pre-Cataclysm practices that would have made the elves jumpy, it
is the total lack of disregard that humans developed after the Cataclysm for
the knights that would have had the elves worried about how good the Solamnics
would be in a fight. What good is a human ally that other humans hold in
contempt?
>
<EotM is canon whether we like it or not>
>
>it was okay to nuke Dark Heart, so why not EotM? In any event, WotC
>could've pulled that piece of shit when they took over, but didn't
>(while nuking Shores of Dusk)
It sold. An acquiring company has to go on sales figures because corporate
information in the acquired company is apt to be biased.
>
>> >> >> <Sturm could grow up to be Vinus Solamnus or Jimmy Carter>
>> >> <Like Jimmy, Sturm not have the political instinct to oust Crownguard.>
>> >WotL shone a bright light into the festhall
>> That was all the dragons having knight flambe.
>
>more like Watergate
Gunthar was not a crook, and the dog's name was Millisant, not Checkers.
>
><LoS mean well>
>> >do they? It's entirely possible that sinister interests set it up with
>> >Sara as their easily manipulated figurehead.
>>
>> If the Shadow Sorceror was responsible for the vision from Steel, then
>you're spot on.
>
>the fundamental DL lesson is STICK TOGETHER. If good's screwed, then
>instead of starting a new order fix up the old one.
"Stick together" doesn't apply to Raistlin or to Sturm or Laurana, for that
matter.
>
<Better to get a continuity fix now than never.
>> But who wants to remember conflicting explanations? It's best to 'fess up,
>> take a stand and move on. It won't be a delayed explanation to the next
>> generation of DL fans.
>
>what next generation? And the explanations should have been in Dragons
>of Summer Flame, not Silver Hearts. It's a matter of logical
>continuity, no matter when you read the series.
Peter's more than doubled his sales, and it can't all be Pokemon. There's at
least two generations of fans to come out there.
>> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
>> >> >> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
>> >> >> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
>> So the seat melts, one way or another. Your gnomes need to go back to
>> the drawing board. Don't forget to add the Disks of Mishakal for some
>light reading material for those extended visits.
>
>*one look.* Besides, Takhy'd take too long trying to figure out which
>can to use. Disks? Evidently the gods haven't read them either.
>There's already a stack of copies of EotM next to the throne.
I still don't think it's hygenic. Just how much of Kiri-Jolith is bison,
anyway?
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><let's kill some Indonesians>
>> >> <Altarielle's friends got out while the getting was good>
>> >> >the bastards invaded 24 years ago
>> <Money changes everything>
>> >
>> >and how. IMF only lends if they're going to profit (ie, if socialist
>> >practices are abandoned), while everybody else is in bed with the power
>> >elites.
>>
>> Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a bank that's not in it for the
>money.
>
>so delightfully shortsighted at that. Wouldn't they make more money in
>the long run if the living standard was higher?
It makes more economic sense to lend another, solvent nation money to fix the
third world country. It makes the interest payment more secure. Not nice, but
it's cold reality.
>
>> >> <Male pets had best sow their wild oats before entering the Tolstrup
>> >household>
>> >
>> >not a chance
>>
>> Poor Bunsen. He has to take out those frustrations on things like door
>mats.
>
>I dunno. I read somewhere balls aren't a requirement, and he's either
>trying to remove something that's attached or autofellating.
Bunsen just knows he got a raw deal.
>
>> <Aussies price dog licenses by the body part>
<Applying it to human licenses is the answer to overpopulation>
>> >a cynical and somewhat unromantic approach.
>>
>> Back seats are not romantic. Besides, it may also bring down insurance
>rates. Then again, not being a driver, it wouldn't impact me all that much.
>
>sounds like the prototypical political statement
What is the law? Pain is the law.
>
>> >Availability of frangers
>> >without having to actually be seen buying 'em works for me.
>>
>> Explain frangers and then I'll say something suitably cynical and
>unromantic.
>
>prophylactics
No one stops a heated moment to go shopping for "frangers" and that's how
accidents happen.
>
>> >> <Roleplaying the Human Torch at nine>
>> >for me it's the heat, and the ongoing pain
>>
>> Pretty serious, if it's still bad after 12 years. I don't blame you for not
>> liking fire.
>
>feels like plastic
After I got hit by the car, I was happy to feel the pain. It meant he hadn't
clipped my spine. I got really pissed the next day, when I couldn't get up out
of bed.
>
>> >> Not feeling particularly rational?
>> >
>> >I spent an hour waiting for Simon to give up on Minesweeper Expert so I
>> >could check this out.
>>
>> How well did he do? And what does Simon do when you're writing the
>> various Tolstrup op ed pieces for the list and AFDL?
>
>he beat Expert, then knocked off my Intermediate record. He tends to be
>working or whatever.
I worked part-time in a comics shop at his age.
>
>> >> If I clean these out, I could make a wind chime out of you.
>> >
>> >don't you have to break bones to get the marrow?
>>
>> If you insist.
>
>but then they'd be deformed and less use as chimes
It would work as modern art.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
>> >> >> <singing lessons by appointment only>
>> >> If running were the only *problem* it wouldn't be much of a Test.
>> >good thing I've also got a ceramic derringer secreted on my person
>> Shakedowns happen outside, before entering the Tower.
>
>*secreted*
I'll let Ricky Martin search for it.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
>> ><Leaves II casting couch>
>> >> He can always claim artistic freedom under the First Amendment.
>> >
>> >bwahahahahahahahahaha
>>
>> It worked for Tommy Lee and Pamela.
>
>the American Bill of Rights....
If Rupert can get away with his stuff, then Kinth should be home free.
>
><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
>> >> >ever flipped forward over a railing? I believe you have long hair.
>> >>
>> >> And you still think you'd have hands at this point?
>> >
>> >but then who'd be handling 'hand required' jobs for the rest of my life?
>> >Besides, I'm like a cockroach, and may have sent a padded Sean in my
>> >place. And he took a 9mm without noticing.
>>
>> Then it's first class accommodations at the Roach Motel and the Mouse House
>for you both.
>
>cool. Sean is of course waiting to dry you and tuck you in.
He'd have to gnaw himself out of the trap first.
>
>> >Besides, hair can be tied up in a bun.
>> >
>> >not if Spike (or "Vee") has stashed your scrunchies, pins etc
>>
>> A sneaker lace will do. You won't be needing it anyway.
>
>but I'll be wearing tabi, which use elastic
<snip> Elastic works too.
>
>> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
>> >seeing as Sean's world is this time last year, we can assume he's bought
>> >a lot of Hasbro stock by now as by the time the decision was made he's
>> >become quite a spy.
>>
>> Then I'm surprised you didn't veto the merger as Anti-Trust. It's what the
>> majority shareholders are supposed to do if they're unhappy.
>
>he's not going to go up against Satan just yet
Satan works for Microsoft.
>
>> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
>> >> >you sure you want to *eat* that?
>> >> I brought it in with me. The fridge in here was empty.
>> >
>> >you thought *that* was a fridge? Besides, have you thought about what
>> >you're using to roast the chook?
>>
>> Boiled it in hot water first, so it's past is history.
>
>I'm surprised you can stand near the angst pits without fantasising
>about Baby Spice and a Triad knife
I've turned down the volume to low.
>
>> >> >And in your opinion, now Turdmeister's
>> >> >got Justine the Bitch nailed to the table, what should he do?
>> >>
>> >> Send the novel to the author's parole officer?
>> >
>> >but the novel doesn't exist in his reality. I'm thinking perhaps that
>> >I'll revise the table to a bare bedframe, and arrange for Choda Boy to
>> >help TM. Do her alabaster skin and delicate rosehued highlights deserve
>> >a soldering iron or a Cuban cigar?
>>
>> You're disfiguring the Venus De Milo? Isn't it bad enough that she has no
>> arms?
>
>no, this one's delightfully squishy
You're disfiguring the Pilsbury doughboy?
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
>> >> >> <Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
>> >yer right, it'll take me a while to get all those guns and drugs moved.
>>
>> You can always go via catapult, like good old Fizban did.
>
>I'm looking at submarines
The gnomes would build catapults to fling those, too, ala Heroes and Fools.
>
>> >> >> <Playing cops and stalkers>
>> >> Think OJ. And OJ was not here in NYC.
>> >
>> >you've just got gun-toting subway users who 'feel threatened' iirc.
>>
>> if they're in the subway, then they're not involved in car chases.
>
>and if somebody farts?
You walk between the cars and open a window.
>
>> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
>> >> You can always make a Davy Crockett hat out of him.
>> >
>> >I can say it's lionskin...
>>
>> And Bunsen, of course, brought down the lion, together with an opossum or
>two.
>
>oopsie. Bunsen's the hat, while Spike is more like a pair of gloves.
Won't those colors clash?
>
>> >> >> <Another attempt on the resilient Vee cat>
>> >> Squeezed herself out of a back window, btween the child safety guards.
>Has
>> >the ear scars to prove it.
>> >
>> >hot pussy. I take it Gilbert just waltzed through?
>>
>> I don't know why he was unscarred, but I suspect he may have already been
>> outside snoozing. It was summer and he likes to spend more time outside
>than in.
>
>so, how much was it insured for and what accelerant did you use?
It was insured for quite a bit, but it went into fixing the place. The house
is over a hundred years old. It was a proven electrical fire.
>
>> <Rohan's charming DM is molding him into a new character>
>> >well, what was I supposed to do when confronted with a ship crewed
>> >exclusively by women?
>>
>> Go down below and row?
>
>female paladin character remember
Retain water and bitch through PMS?
>
>> >> >> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
><Bertrem, postal worker>
>> He may have worked that all out when he killed the draconian in the Great
>> Library.
>
>no, now he wants to go on to bigger and better feats of devastation
He'll have to fight Ricky for you first.
>
>> ><soft as a feather>
>> <Mum's the word>
>> >that's what you think. And I could send ahead someone else who matches
>> >the vague physical description I've given you.
>>
>> Goody. I like practice rounds.
>
>good, because that's what's in your gun
Keep on believing that. You won't feel a thing, I promise.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Aussies are keeping their national Tolstrup treasure safely in
>> >> >> >Melbourne>
>> >> ><kitty control>
>> >they don't leash cats. And I've got a bonded polymer shiv anyway.
>>
>> They'll find it when you're declawed.
>
>sounds invasive. Was it Con Air or U.S. Marshals?
Guiliani's citizen committee.
>
> And since it does cost three times more
>> to let you roam around intact ....
>
>er, I'm officially catagorised as human
><sweat>
A likely story. Are you allergic to anesthesia?
>> >> >> >> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
>> >> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
>> >silver's expensive and Sean, being quite Catholic, wouldn't believe in
>> >the power of your blessing, a major component in faith magic (vampires
>> >run from crosses because they believe it will hurt them)
>>
>> Then Sean would think twice about crossing a genuine Madonna.
>
>he's also murdered three blokes, although they had it coming. And he'd
>probably take the Catholic approach and presume you're lying.
He'd kneel and say a rosary first, and i've got him then.
>
>> >> <Step up, back down>
>>>I know your name, address, measurements and television preferences. >>As
>the shadow partner in your organisation I'm fully aware of what you do.
>
<Sure you do>
>
>but that's what you think. As for your beautiful tips, I envisage the
>day I hold them in my hands, fondle and caress them, and keep 'em in a
>jar under my bed with the collection. Oh, and don't forget the
>pocket-sized apparel with room for Bunsen's head so he can track you.
I'll send something all right. I guess your dad can always get Simon another
pet.
>
>>>> Such endearing tenacity...
>>Central Park, then. By the way, is that a mosquito on your cheek?
>
>Penetrato, the latest werecritter to join the pack, hitching a lift.
>Can I interest you in a S&W ASP 9mm? Fits in a pocket, can take some
>pretty impressive ammo (with clear grips and magazine) and has a
>guttersnipe sight designed for fast acquisition.
The encephalitus is already progressing as planned ...
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
><where's Chaos get his power from?>
<If Chaos obliviates everything, isn't he dooming himself?>
>
>isn't the Law of Chaos that it builds on itself?
Yes it is. I was referring to what would happen if Chaos won, per the
Krynnish description of his goals. Oblivion doesn't seem to be a state
that generates chaos.
>Maybe when the gods created Krynn they willingly took on a new form of
>existence?
It would certainly explain why Chaos would be upset. But maybe the form wasn't
a new one, just one they took to bug the heck out of dad. If Chaos and the
High God are different beings, then it sounds like the kiddies chose to follow
the High God's example.
>> >patient molestation and vindictiveness don't cut it?
>>
>> As in all medical professions, it's business before pleasure.
>
>that's what you think. But then they're doctors so you never know.
The God of Dentists has to get the practice going first before he can think
about
hanky panky. And no, his first name is not Bob.
>
<Minions will remain subordinate only until they learn how to run things
alone.>
>if they're long-lived and apparently immortal (eg Salmissra) then it can
>be for them the pinnacle of the career, similar to being a permanent
>undersecretary.
Salmissra was mortal druggy hippie. Her magics seem to be concentrated on
enhancing her ability to engage in bestiality. A real minion is going to want
not only power, but the ability to use it freely.
>
>> ><1984ing minions>
>>
>> She should have cared about Raistlin and Fist, since these mortals came
>close to dethroning her.
>
>sounds like hubris. Essentially it was one person EVER born.
It does seem that dragons had the ability to ignore Tak when they choose to.
Sargonnas and Nuitari also plotted behind her back at their leisure. In BiA,
it's implied that only Nuitari knew about his mom's plans, but he didn't
hesitate to tell Solinari and Lunitari. If minions are introduced, they would
probably turn a situation like this to their advantage very quickly.
>
<Boutros-Ghali sentenced to two years on Late Night with David Letterman.
>oh, and they refused to pay their dues until he stepped down
They're just following Tim Hainey's philosophy of voting with their dollars.
>
>> >> ><Cuban Defence Force - for defending against Cubans>
>>
<Argentina uses tanks to stop strikes>
>> Walking on Argentine streets is very safe though, as long as you're not on
>> strike.
>
>and while we're at it, without victims there can be no crime. Declare
>war on poverty, Daffy Duck style.
While I was there, there were a bunch of fraternity guys playing a prank
in the plaza. One of them was dressed up as Superman, and ran up and down
the plaza looking for people to save. When the other guys hoisted him up to
make it look like he was flying, several cops materializedut of nowhere in
seconds and staked the plaza. But surprisingly, they let the prank continue.
>
>> >> < The line for Altarielle's heart forms at the back>
>> ><cleaning up rivals>
<Lunch is on Spike>
>customs won't let him import 'em, and he may not have had time to stop
>at the feline 7-11.
He can always scrounge up a pigeon or two.
>
>> >> <One blind mouse, see how he runs>
><gun up arse but constipated?>
<Let's test the new biological weapon on the rat>
>third person now? Besides, because he's already got the granddaddy of
>all diseases, he's immune to any other disease, virus etc. And as he
>just heals up, he'd hack his guts open with a scalpel and several
>friendly rats.
While the friendly rats keep him occupied, it'll be easy to set his whiskers
ablaze.
>
>> <Officer Steve Miller, Continuity Cop>
>
>in the movie version he's played by Leslie Easterbrook
What I wouldn't give to see Steve's response to that one. And since I seem to
remember Steve having a beard, you're on Leslie Easterbrook's hit list now too.
Does this mean you're contemplating the role of Tackleberry?
>something in a TSR product is by definition official. Unofficial canon
>is something that doesn't have the DL logo on it.
But then it's WotC's fault for letting it pass.
>
>> >> <Altie is born in the USA>
>> >Dad's family came over in the gold rush, and nobody admits to convicts
>> >in the direct line. The gold rush was after all when Victoria took off.
>>
>> Where there's gold, there's convicts.
>
>eventually. The closest we came to a civil war was over mining licences
I picked up a biography of Wyatt Earp as told by his wife and it actually
turned out to be a fascinating read. I'd imagine Tombstone, AZ and Virginia
would have had a lot in common.
>
>> >> <Why doesn't anyone believe I am who I say I am?>
>> ><she didn't give the Sicilian response>
>> He was annoying and I wasn't about to reward him for it.
>
>it's a wish I would have happily fulfilled
My hero. But then again, you're always looking for practice targets.
>
>> <Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
>you're not saying nasty things about your sister are you?
Nope. She wears that nickname like a badge of honor.
>
>> >> >> <List of formula writers>
>> >> <Comparative reading lists>
>> <description of Rohan's latest reading assignment>
>>
>> I don't usually read books about the NYPD. There are more than enough
>stories about them in the daily newspaper.
>
>fair enough. I can't help but look for bureaucratically useful stuff.
>My 'corrupt vice cop' campaign idea is based on formal education.
There's enough real life material out now for several campaigns. All the
current stuff out there involving Rudy and Rev. Al would make several
good novels, not to mention a comedy routine or two.
>
<Casinos are a rich man's game that's meant to suck in the poor.>
<Common sense crosses all social castes>
>so we're told... I'm thinking subliminals
Casinos do promote the "get rich quick" scheme and it does stand to reason that
this would appeal more to the "have nots." But someone who puts the kids'
college fund into a slot machine had problems long before he stepped into a
casino.
>
>> >> >> <Betting on Knights adds to the Arthurian atmosphere>
>> ><Henry VIII, athlete?>
>> <Henry hurt his leg for life when someone foolishly beat him in a joust>
<Henry's wives' obituaries>
>
>oh, I knew about them. I just meant the two you mentioned. It's a
>miracle he lived seven years after his only son was born.
I was talking about the last two -- Catherine Howard, who unlike Anne
Boleyn, did commit adultery and is said to haunt Hampton Court, and
Catherine Parr, who survived him.
Henry probably lived so long after his son was born because the kid
was sickly, Dad had done a nice job of redistributing the church's booty
among his followers, and only Henry was strong enough at that stage
in history to prevent a civil war.
>
<Taming a Kolalataur>
>
>I can see a lot of stuff your way, like your head. Say cheese.
No you can't. How many fingers am I hold up on my right hand?
>
>> >> <Fran Drescher should share Pesci's fate>
<Rohan's looking for an alibi>
>>
>> No. That would make me an accessory after the fact.
>
>not really, no. If you're going to solve one of your problems...
First mantra of the business world -- never get caught solving your own
problems.
>
>> >> >> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
<Cleaning up at WotC>
>my will's quite specific. But then again, if I can give him what I've
>got...
And what is it that you'd give poor Peter?
>
<The Tostrup-Brattbakk custody agreement>
>but if Dad's left alive we're talking Fatal Attraction
All's fair in love and war.
>> >now I'm meant to mow a playing field with a manual mower?
>>
>> You could get a US adapter or fool everyone by pushing the mower
>> around and go "BZZZZ."
>
>you're still assuming I'm going to walk several kilometres pushing a
>heavy object
It'll keep you in shape and build up upper body muscles.
>
>> >> >> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
>> >hmm. But he's just too idealistic, and would put a cramp on her
>> >seducing power.
>>
>> Every seductress needs a bodyguard. Even Kit had Soth.
>
>yes, but he certainly didn't have moral problems
Snow could just tell the huntsman that she's providing guidance and advice.
He'd be standing outside of the room, after all.
>
>> ><right to legal counsel?>
><Sturm's lack of counsel>
>
>> You need a lawyer to set a precedent, and Sturm's case certainly
>> qualified for one. He didn't do anything wrong, but still broke the law.
>
>the law was unclear. Crownguard had no authority over him or any knight
>not formally attached to his command, and Sturm was interpreting the
>Measure rather than defying it.
Derek did have authority over Sturm on the Ice Wall expedition, so Derek
was within his rights to describe Sturm as defying his commands.
>
>> ><Ecstacy, spice of life>
>> >> Ecstacy is a result of the variety.
>> >
>> >another area where I have yet to begin to fight
>>
>> Drugs are bad, uhm, okay.
>
>and you believe that?
Not 100%. Penicillin's good.
>
>> >> >> >I was blond originally.
>>
>> >> Your mind's playing tricks on you. Your hair darkened when you
>>>> couldn't get the tar out of it after the feathering.
>> >
>> >the bastards did that to a seven year-old?
>>
>> He was really Damien Thorne.
>
>excuse me while I go Yahooing
While you're at it, you can look up the Omen. That's where you'll find
Damien.
>
>> >> Somebody has to bear the child.
>> >
>> >foiled again. I'd advise you to call the bomb squad then.
>>
>> Only after I'm certain the bomb has gone off.
>
>then get a hotel room
The Plaza's right across the street from Central Park.
>
>> >> ><Caligula ate his son right out of his sister's womb>
>> <Caligula was Tandar and he french kissed his real granny>
<It's Rohan, not Roman>
>>
>> I didn't have you in mind to play the grandma, but whatever turns you on.
>
>I don't exactly look like a Roman patrician
Pity. Tiberius' brother Drusus was gorgeous.
>
>> <Rosamun was shunned because she was crazy, not because of her magic.>
>>
>> >she came from Palanthas? DoWN had it that she'd always lived in Solace.
>> >Anyway, nobody had a reason to fear her, unlike a competent mage.
>>
>> In the Soulforge, they explain that Gregor and Rosamun high tailed it to
>Solace because Gregor was being pursued for something that he'd done.
>
>and DoWN said that he'd found her in Solace
Quick! Somebody call Officer Miller.
>
<Rohan's inconsistent about his DL consistency>
>I'd say 'but that was a long time ago' but Blackadder springs to mind
Good recovery.
>
>> >Maybe I raised it as possibility though.
>> >Actually he had a psychedelic trip from Rosamun's breast milk.
>>
>> Leave it to Gilon to give Rosamun LSD and tell her it's good for the baby.
>
>General Gilon was too busy fighting the red dragons to notice it was bad
>shit
It does explain why Caramon walked around in a fog for the first 20 years of
his life.
>
<Butt cheek circumcisions>
<That's a desecration of a thing of beauty>
>> ><Ricky Martin, your arse is mine>
>> Out-troduction.
>
>don't tell me you'd object to me going after him with a scoped G3 battle
>rifle (with bipod, match grade barrel and underbarrel 40mm grenade
>launcher)?
I don't have any objections, but are you trying to tell us all something by
coveting Ricky's butt?
>> Ricky's fan club will be happy to parade you to the scaffold.
>
>I guess I'm giving you the credit. I will of course arrange for you to
>go to the one women's prison in America where even the dykes like men :
I'm just too adorable to be convicted. And I can always present this thread
as proof.
>
><voting fun>
<Terrorism accomplishes what voting doesn't>
>>
>> Not worth it. You don't know when a Bill Clinton will come along and grant
>> amnesty in exchange for a block of votes.
>
>did I mention my ideology's pseudo-militia?
One retriever does not a militia make.
>
><varying definitions of foul>
>> You're going to break your leg and grow gangrene on it?
>
>no, I was thinking of Henry's feats of crapulence
Henry didn't become a gross out case until he was an old man.
>
>> >> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
>> Marmaduke is a Great Dane who thinks he's a puppy.
>
>Bunsen *is* a puppy. He's nine months old.
He's a teenager.
>
<Rohan's got a politician's memory>
>> Keep talking out of both sides of your mouth like that and you'll be PM
>before you are 30.
>
>but that'd mean the Liberal Party being run by actual liberals
They'll stay liberal only until it falls out of fashion.
>
<Puppy propulsion.>
>
>essentially he's displacing water with his hind legs and muscular lower
>back, steering by doing so in a specific direction. And I can move his
>tail by moving his head the same way.
What a great time to set a shark loose in the water.
>
>> <Paladine could have instructed his clerics on church procedures before he
>> left>
>> >
>> >Reality and Krynn - compatible?
>>
>> It stands to reason that Fiz would have instructed his clerics, given that
>Tak had such a head start in establishing her worship.
>
>the specific problem of Istar was that they'd forgotten how to use their
>power
But that seemed to be a problem with all clerics, or Tak's clergy would have
at least attempted to overthrow Istar. Tak spent more time than Paladine
between the first Cataclysm and the WotL rebuilding her worship and
retraining her clerics.
>
>> <Crysania expanded her leadership skills slowly because of her
>> bad experience with Raistlin>
>>
>> >but she also knew change was needed NOW, and strike while
the iron's hot
<Crysania took time to clean up Palanthas and learn to live with blindness>
>
>she'd leave the local stuff to underlings. She played to at least a
>national stage. I'd say after a year or so of recuperation she's taking
>on the big issues, probably working closely with Tanis and Laurana.
If the Church of Paladine was run on the Vatican model, Crysania would be tied
with the administrative burden of legislating to her national parishes, and
would go on tour to speak out about human rights, poverty, and other
issues. Dalamar would be of bigger concern to her than the Measure.
>
>> >> >> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
>> >I can *knock buildings down* dear
>>
>> A house of cards doesn't count.
>
>not quite the same effect, but blow a support pillar and a building's
>going down.
That's what was said about the World Trade Center.
>
>> ><can't get local revolutionaries>
>> >> >> >I go internationale
>>
<Hillary for Aussie PM>
>> There's always Bill's contacts. He laid the groundwork while he was
>> out in New Zealand the other week.
>
>are they still on speaking terms?
Politics always came before marital bliss. Besides, that FALN fiasco may
have cost her NY.
>
><KoT merger>
<The KoS allied with the other nations because they needed to for defense,
not because of a faulty Measure>
>PLEASE don't insult our intelligence
You tend to do that all by your lonesome, snookums.
The elves were perfectly happy to isolate themselves back up in their
forests after the WotL and the mountain dwarves shut the gates of Thorbardin
at every opportunity. And after the High Clerist's debacle, the KoS was
desperate for help against the KoT.
>
<Why should other races respect the KoS when humans didn't?>
>
>of course, the knights got that treatment because they were going on
>Istarian practices. So more pressure.
They got that treatment because the KoS chose to honor the old gods
that everyone else despised, and because they failed to stop the
Cataclysm. The KoS were getting hit hard because they were NOTt
following Istarian practices in their worship.
>
>> <EotM is canon whether we like it or not>
>> >
<WotC could have pulled EotM if they wanted to>
>>
>> It sold. An acquiring company has to go on sales figures because corporate
>> information in the acquired company is apt to be biased.
>
>EotM was obviously a piece of shit, and obviously they only had the
>sales of Rabe's other two books to go on.
Literary quality is not indicative of a best seller, just ask Jackie Collins.
EotM was the finale of a profitable trilogy, and the new guy never
tampers with success.
>
>> >more like Watergate
>>
>> Gunthar was not a crook, and the dog's name was Millisant, not Checkers.
>
<The knighthood's inability to establish the quorum per the Measure led to
Derek gaining control of the KoS>
Unlike Nixon, Derek knew how to use the rules to his advantage. If Derek had
done something that was a blatant violation of the Measure and it could be
proven by witnesses, he would have gone down just like Nixon did.
>
>> ><LoS mean well>
>> >the fundamental DL lesson is STICK TOGETHER. If good's screwed, then
>> >instead of starting a new order fix up the old one.
>>
>> "Stick together" doesn't apply to Raistlin or to Sturm or Laurana, for that
>> matter.
>
>Raist got toasted because of his lonewolfing. Sturm and Laurana at
>least stuck with each other while trying to do the right thing and get
>people together.
Sturm never set out to fix anything -- his death at the High Clerist's tower
was the act of a man trying the save people he loved. In Chronicles,
Laurana's main goal was always Tanis -- leading the army was secondary.
>
>> <Better to get a continuity fix now than never.>
>> Peter's more than doubled his sales, and it can't all be Pokemon. There's
>at least two generations of fans to come out there.
>
>WHAT? I'd say another fifteen years is pretty optimistic (it's highly
>probable I'll leave if WoS is not up to Chronicles standards),
You defy categorization and the AFDL population doesn't seem to be
representative of the majority of younger fans.
>especially as the line's been in decline for the last ten years or so.
The line is rebounding and writing pool overall has improved. It's been
the books that have kept DL alive all this time.
>I'd say the main body of DL fans *now* are people like me, who got into
>roleplaying before major proliferation of alternatives.
It's too broad a generalization to make. The novels are always my first
choice, and you've got fans like Magneto who couldn't care less about
roleplaying. And younger kids seem to like the new covers, since they
resemble comic book art.
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
>> >> >> >> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
>> I still don't think it's hygenic. Just how much of Kiri-Jolith is bison,
>> anyway?
>
>yer right, I wouldn't want to risk wiping my arse with EotM. I'd say
>Kiri-Jolith's a well-groomed minotaur model.
LOL. You are just incorrigible sometimes.
>
<The IMF, like all banks, is in it for the money.?
<Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
When does it all make it into a campaign?
>
>> Bunsen just knows he got a raw deal.
>
>wasn't my decision mate. Could you let go of my leg?
It's Bunsen's turn to do a little invasive surgery.
>
>> What is the law? Pain is the law.
>
>gee, I so want to legally move where you live
Actually, that's from the Island of Dr. Moreau.
>
>> No one stops a heated moment to go shopping for "frangers" and that's how
>> accidents happen.
>
>first sight coitus is probably a bad idea anyway
It certainly is. It's the couples who think they've got it under control
that have the accidents.
>
<Comparative injuries>
>> After I got hit by the car, I was happy to feel the pain. It meant he
>hadn't clipped my spine. I got really pissed the next day, when I couldn't
> get up out of bed.
>
>go after the bastard with a tomahawk? Prioritisation's fair enough.
If there's anything left after my lawyer's done.
>
<Simon's the Minesweeper God>
>
>he's nineteen 23/10. And he works in a bottle shop (drinking age is 18
>here)
The advantage is all for the store owners here. I got paid, but of course I
spent a portion of my salary at the shop weekly.
>
>> >but then they'd be deformed and less use as chimes
>>
>> It would work as modern art.
>
>if you're Dr Lecter's neighbour
There's a travelling British exhibit in town right now that showcases animals
sliced in two.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
>> >> >> >> <singing lessons by appointment only>
>> >> >> If running were the only *problem* it wouldn't be much of a Test.
>> >> >good thing I've also got a ceramic derringer secreted on my person
>> >> Shakedowns happen outside, before entering the Tower.
>> >
>> >*secreted*
>>
>> I'll let Ricky Martin search for it.
>
>that does it. He dies.
He'll die happy then.
>
>> >the American Bill of Rights....
>>
>> If Rupert can get away with his stuff, then Kinth should be home free.
>
>who do you think Sword's going after when he's finished with militia and
>Ronan Keating? Besides, Murdoch has greater resources than even the god
>of vengeance.
The god of newspapers has affiliates here in the States. I can see Rupert
bankrolling the defense in exchange for distribution rights.
>
>> ><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
>> >> Then it's first class accommodations at the Roach Motel and the Mouse
>House for you both.
>> >
>> >cool. Sean is of course waiting to dry you and tuck you in.
>>
>> He'd have to gnaw himself out of the trap first.
>
>I never heard of a rat trap that could hold a human (and a human-sized
>trap would amputate something, which he'd just graft back on)
It'd be cut and burn. It's hard to re-attach ashes.
>
><combat hairties>
>> >but I'll be wearing tabi, which use elastic
>>
>> <snip> Elastic works too.
>
>and you'll get my shoes off how?
Slicing off the foot should do it.
>
>> >> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
><Sean, entrepreneur>
<Satan, toy maker>
>Satan is also on the Hasbro board and the architect of the Infringement
>Notice system
That explains the flattering countenance of Darth Maul.
>
>> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
>> >I'm surprised you can stand near the angst pits without fantasising
>> >about Baby Spice and a Triad knife
>>
>> I've turned down the volume to low.
>
>then you must be nearly deaf. It doesn't go that low.
I've got my Walkman with me. Tubthumper's drowning you out.
>
>> >no, this one's delightfully squishy
>>
>> You're disfiguring the Pilsbury doughboy?
>
>this one's delightfully female, and somewhere between 16-30.
Under 18 is a criminal offense, Koalataur.
>
>> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
>> >I'm looking at submarines
>>
>> The gnomes would build catapults to fling those, too, ala Heroes and Fools.
>
>no, the main gnomish weapon system is a gigantic slingshot
Then they'd try to load the submarine into the new popcorn popper that
debuted in Heroes and Fools.
>
>> >> if they're in the subway, then they're not involved in car chases.
>> >
>> >and if somebody farts?
>>
>> You walk between the cars and open a window.
>
>yes, but I live in the tunnels
You can always stick your nose out of a subway grating.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
>> >oopsie. Bunsen's the hat, while Spike is more like a pair of gloves.
>>
>> Won't those colors clash?
>
>on second thoughts, Spike's probably the right size for one of my 12yo
>cousins. Which one did I pull for Christmas?
Pulling? Your cousins are elastic?
>
><hot pussy>
<He means electrical fire>
>caused by say a fault in a circuit?
You get another gold star.
>
>> >> <Rohan's charming DM is molding him into a new character>
>> >female paladin character remember
>>
>> Retain water and bitch through PMS?
>
>dammit! As the character I've been handed is a stereotype, I'm trying
>to work in others.
Dress her in black, give her a rosary and a ruler, and you've got more
Catholic sterotypes to work with. A ruler can be a deadly weapon.
>
>> >> >> >> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
>> ><Bertrem, postal worker>
>> >no, now he wants to go on to bigger and better feats of devastation
>>
>> He'll have to fight Ricky for you first.
>
>you'll find the buttcheeks on your doormat
I could always pull a Mrs. Lovett and make meat pies. Want a slice?
>> Keep on believing that. You won't feel a thing, I promise.
>
>somehow I doubt *Sean* is going to let me down, especially when I'm
>holding his character sheet
<rrriippp> You were. You can always use it for confetti.
>
>> >> They'll find it when you're declawed.
>> >
>> >sounds invasive. Was it Con Air or U.S. Marshals?
>>
>> Guiliani's citizen committee.
>
>eww. I was of course referring to the idea of concealing a weapon
>actually in flesh
And they'll have a positively wonderful time trying to dig it out. For your
own good, of course.
>
><oh shit>
>> >er, I'm officially catagorised as human
>> ><sweat>
>>
>> A likely story. Are you allergic to anesthesia?
>
>I'm definitely allergic to castration
They'll give you an antihistamine before the operation starts.
>
>> >> >> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
><Sean wouldn't waste a Madonna?>
>> He'd kneel and say a rosary first, and i've got him then.
>
>he takes a very 'hit 'em back first' approach. Strangely both he
>(Belfast) and Sword (Spanish Harlem) are Catholic, and I didn't really
>think about it at the time.
There are more rules in the Catholic faith than the Measure. That and the
"we are all born with original sin" doctrine provides lots of role playing
fodder.
>
>> >> >> <Step up, back down>
><I'm the Ministry of Love>
><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
>> I'll send something all right. I guess your dad can always get Simon
>another pet.
>
>you're not very nice
He'll go gently, since he's doing me the favor of holding onto your leg as
the bomb goes off.
>
>> >>Central Park, then. By the way, is that a mosquito on your cheek?
>> >
<Penetrato, the were-mosquito, debuts>
>>
>> The encephalitus is already progressing as planned ...
>
>yes, but I'm INVINCIBLE
I'd say about as invincible as Hurricane Floyd, which did me the favor of
getting me a day off from work and then dissipating into a tropical storm.
Tolstrup
> >> through worship>
> >chaotic acts, fear of chaos (any 'law and order' political campaign
> >should suffice here)...
>
> It doesn't make sense to me that Chaos would seek his own demise by returning
> everything to Oblivion, which is more like the absence of activity than
> disorder.
isn't the Law of Chaos that it builds on itself? Maybe when the gods
created Krynn they willingly took on a new form of existence?
> >patient molestation and vindictiveness don't cut it?
>
> As in all medical professions, it's business before pleasure.
that's what you think. But then they're doctors so you never know.
> >I'm sure it's possible to appoint subordinates who can credibly do the
> >job while still needing the boss
>
> Needing the boss is only a phase in a career. Unless they're Borg, the minions
> will want to move up, either benignly or belligerently.
if they're long-lived and apparently immortal (eg Salmissra) then it can
be for them the pinnacle of the career, similar to being a permanent
undersecretary.
> ><1984ing minions>
> >she didn't care about the humans; she had enough people looking for
> >Berem
>
> She should have cared about Raistlin and Fist, since these mortals came close
> to dethroning her.
sounds like hubris. Essentially it was one person EVER born.
> >remember how the yanks indicated their displeasure with Dr
> >Boutros-Ghali?
>
> Yes. Boutros-Ghali became a running gag on "Late Night with David Letterman."
oh, and they refused to pay their dues until he stepped down
> >> ><Cuban Defence Force - for defending against Cubans>
>
> >> in Argentina they rolled out the tanks to stop a teacher's strike.
> >
> >wimps. Apache gunships at least.
>
> Walking on Argentine streets is very safe though, as long as you're not on
> strike.
and while we're at it, without victims there can be no crime. Declare
war on poverty, Daffy Duck style.
> >> < The line for Altarielle's heart forms at the back>
> ><cleaning up rivals>
> >> Bring Bunsen with you so he can clean up when you're done
> >
> >of course, I will be dining on something infinitely more delicious
>
> Glad to hear Spike shares his oppossums with you.
customs won't let him import 'em, and he may not have had time to stop
at the feline 7-11.
> >> <One blind mouse, see how he runs>
<gun up arse but constipated?>
> >probably immune (he's immune to toxins). Probably in implanted holster.
>
> Since he's probably immune to laxatives, she can just give him a stomach virus
> and watch him explode from retention.
third person now? Besides, because he's already got the granddaddy of
all diseases, he's immune to any other disease, virus etc. And as he
just heals up, he'd hack his guts open with a scalpel and several
friendly rats.
> <Officer Steve Miller, Continuity Cop>
in the movie version he's played by Leslie Easterbrook
> Sometimes you have to pick your poison. Steve's never said that his personal
> canon should become the official canon.
something in a TSR product is by definition official. Unofficial canon
is something that doesn't have the DL logo on it.
> >> <Altie is born in the USA>
> >Dad's family came over in the gold rush, and nobody admits to convicts
> >in the direct line. The gold rush was after all when Victoria took off.
>
> Where there's gold, there's convicts.
eventually. The closest we came to a civil war was over mining licences
> >> <Why doesn't anyone believe I am who I say I am?>
> ><she didn't give the Sicilian response>
> He was annoying and I wasn't about to reward him for it.
it's a wish I would have happily fulfilled
> <Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
> Mercy the Merciless is in a class by herself. I didn't get the goddess label
> until I was a teenager and started amassing male worshippers.
you're not saying nasty things about your sister are you?
> >> >> <List of formula writers>
> >> <Comparative reading lists>
> >>
> <description of Rohan's latest reading assignment>
>
> I don't usually read books about the NYPD. There are more than enough stories
> about them in the daily newspaper.
fair enough. I can't help but look for bureaucratically useful stuff.
My 'corrupt vice cop' campaign idea is based on formal education.
> >> >> <Gambling on the jousts>
> >> <Casino monopoly is legal in Australia>
> You can't put a money barrier on casino entry or it's discriminatory. Like
> cigarettes and booze, gambling is something that can't harm you if you don't
> choose to do it. Being poor doesn't mean that someone automatically has no
> common sense.
so we're told... I'm thinking subliminals
> >> >> <Betting on Knights adds to the Arthurian atmosphere>
> ><Henry VIII, athlete?>
> <Henry hurt his leg for life when someone foolishly beat him in a joust>
> Here's what happened to the 6 wives: Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced
> beheaded, survived.
oh, I knew about them. I just meant the two you mentioned. It's a
miracle he lived seven years after his only son was born.
> >> >> <Spinning discs>
> >razzerfrazzen
>
> Glad you see it my way.
I can see a lot of stuff your way, like your head. Say cheese.
> >> <Fran Drescher should share Pesci's fate>
> >>
> >> >if she gets shot I'll publicly say you were with me on the night in
> >> >question
> >>
> >> In spirit, of course.
> >
> >try to see my PoV
>
> No. That would make me an accessory after the fact.
not really, no. If you're going to solve one of your problems...
> >> >> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
> >I'd make several cakes
>
> Maybe I should ship you to Peter Atkinson then. I hear he needs to refurbish
> the mens' room at WotC.
my will's quite specific. But then again, if I can give him what I've
got...
> >> >> >> >> <How much is that doggy in the window?>
> >> >> <Bunsen, little league anarchist>
> >we ARE somewhat dependant on Mum...
>
> She gets you every weekend and you can alternate holidays.
but if Dad's left alive we're talking Fatal Attraction
> >now I'm meant to mow a playing field with a manual mower?
>
> You could get a US adapter or fool everyone by pushing the mower around and go
> "BZZZZ."
you're still assuming I'm going to walk several kilometres pushing a
heavy object
> >> >> >> >> >> ><Snow Uth Matar>
> >> >> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
> >> <Unlike Sturm, the huntsman believes in living to fight another day>
> >hmm. But he's just too idealistic, and would put a cramp on her
> >seducing power.
>
> Every seductress needs a bodyguard. Even Kit had Soth.
yes, but he certainly didn't have moral problems
> >> >> <Where's a good ambulance chaser when you need one?>
> ><right to legal counsel?>
<Sturm's lack of counsel>
> >it looked like a fairly straightforward presentation of fact; you need a
> >lawyer for procedural reasons I'd say.
>
> You need a lawyer to set a precedent, and Sturm's case certainly qualified for
> one. He didn't do anything wrong, but still broke the law.
the law was unclear. Crownguard had no authority over him or any knight
not formally attached to his command, and Sturm was interpreting the
Measure rather than defying it.
> ><Ecstacy, spice of life>
> >> Ecstacy is a result of the variety.
> >
> >another area where I have yet to begin to fight
>
> Drugs are bad, uhm, okay.
and you believe that?
> >> >> >I was blond originally.
>
> >> Your mind's playing tricks on you. Your hair darkened when you couldn't
> >get the tar out of it after the feathering.
> >
> >the bastards did that to a seven year-old?
>
> He was really Damien Thorne.
excuse me while I go Yahooing
> >> Somebody has to bear the child.
> >
> >foiled again. I'd advise you to call the bomb squad then.
>
> Only after I'm certain the bomb has gone off.
then get a hotel room
> >> ><Caligula ate his son right out of his sister's womb>
> <Caligula was Tandar and he french kissed his real granny>
>
> >> Come to think of it, if PBS needs a young man for the remake, I think I
> >know who they should contact...
> >
> >I don't have the figure
>
> I didn't have you in mind to play the grandma, but whatever turns you on.
I don't exactly look like a Roman patrician
> >> >> >> >> <Palanthas would only tolerate mages who toe the party line>
>
> <Rosamun was shunned because she was crazy, not because of her magic.>
>
> >she came from Palanthas? DoWN had it that she'd always lived in Solace.
> >Anyway, nobody had a reason to fear her, unlike a competent mage.
>
> In the Soulforge, they explain that Gregor and Rosamun high tailed it to Solace
> because Gregor was being pursued for something that he'd done.
and DoWN said that he'd found her in Solace
> >> >I'm usually consistent, and I know *DL* consistency well enough
> >>
> >> Ahem. Who was it that said that Tika's father was not the same as the
> >> Waylan who inspired Raistlin to pursue magic?
> >
> >I didn't *assert* that.
>
> Not after Morten pointed out the quote that said otherwise.
I'd say 'but that was a long time ago' but Blackadder springs to mind
> >Maybe I raised it as possibility though.
> >Actually he had a psychedelic trip from Rosamun's breast milk.
>
> Leave it to Gilon to give Rosamun LSD and tell her it's good for the baby.
General Gilon was too busy fighting the red dragons to notice it was bad
shit
> >> >> >> >> <Circumcision of minors is technically illegal in Australia>
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> <Everyone ignores the law, so why not add butt cheeks to the agenda?>
> >> <Because a man's butt filling out a pair of jeans is a thing of beauty.>
> ><Ricky Martin, your arse is mine>
> Out-troduction.
don't tell me you'd object to me going after him with a scoped G3 battle
rifle (with bipod, match grade barrel and underbarrel 40mm grenade
launcher)?
> >so I'll go covert. And I was so looking forward to the parade
>
> Ricky's fan club will be happy to parade you to the scaffold.
I guess I'm giving you the credit. I will of course arrange for you to
go to the one women's prison in America where even the dykes like men :
)
> >> >> <Jedi left Star Warriors panting for more for a long time>
<voting fun>
> >here it's compulsory, a problem equal in proportion to it being
> >voluntary there. And it's not like either of us can make a difference
> >without the aid of a shitload of explosives.
>
> Not worth it. You don't know when a Bill Clinton will come along and grant
> amnesty in exchange for a block of votes.
did I mention my ideology's pseudo-militia?
<varying definitions of foul>
> You're going to break your leg and grow gangrene on it?
no, I was thinking of Henry's feats of crapulence
> >> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
> Marmaduke is a Great Dane who thinks he's a puppy and he appears with Hagar in
> the daily comics.
Bunsen *is* a puppy. He's nine months old.
> >> >mine's the size of an Uzi
> >> <laughs> That's what all men say.
> >
> >Ros, I was referring to a water pistol. Get your mind out of the gutter
>
> Keep talking out of both sides of your mouth like that and you'll be PM before
> you are 30.
but that'd mean the Liberal Party being run by actual liberals
> >legs and arse. The way fish move.
>
> Fish have legs? Besides, the tail fin is more of a propulsion unit on a fish
> than a rudder.
essentially he's displacing water with his hind legs and muscular lower
back, steering by doing so in a specific direction. And I can move his
tail by moving his head the same way.
> <Paladine could have instructed his clerics on church procedures before he
> left>
> >
> >Reality and Krynn - compatible?
>
> It stands to reason that Fiz would have instructed his clerics, given that Tak
> had such a head start in establishing her worship.
the specific problem of Istar was that they'd forgotten how to use their
power
> <Crysania expanded her leadership skills slowly because of her bad experience
> with Raistlin>
>
> >but she also knew change was needed NOW, and strike while the iron's hot
>
> Raistlin showed her the misery in Palanthas, and she probably stuck to helping
> her immediate parish first. Besides, Crysania would need to work on her own
> administrative skills, as well as accustom herself to living with her
> blindness.
she'd leave the local stuff to underlings. She played to at least a
national stage. I'd say after a year or so of recuperation she's taking
on the big issues, probably working closely with Tanis and Laurana.
> >> >> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
> >I can *knock buildings down* dear
>
> A house of cards doesn't count.
not quite the same effect, but blow a support pillar and a building's
going down.
> ><can't get local revolutionaries>
> >> >> >I go internationale
>
> >> I'll send you Hillary. I hear she wants to become the next Aussie PM.
> >
> >sounds about as representative as the current govt. And she'd have to
> >do one hell of an apprenticeship to get anywhere.
>
> There's always Bill's contacts. He laid the groundwork while he was out in New
> Zealand the other week.
are they still on speaking terms?
<KoT merger>
> >that was just insensitive of Gunthar. And he only really got into the
> >alliance after the High Clerist's Tower, implying that the Measure *was*
> >a major cause for concern.
>
> Right behind the fact that the isolationist policies of the Solamnics, elves
> and dwarves almost got everyone killed, highlighting the need for at least an
> exchange of statuses every now and then.
PLEASE don't insult our intelligence
> It wasn't the pre-Cataclysm practices that would have made the elves jumpy, it
> is the total lack of disregard that humans developed after the Cataclysm for
> the knights that would have had the elves worried about how good the Solamnics
> would be in a fight. What good is a human ally that other humans hold in
> contempt?
of course, the knights got that treatment because they were going on
Istarian practices. So more pressure.
> <EotM is canon whether we like it or not>
> >
> >it was okay to nuke Dark Heart, so why not EotM? In any event, WotC
> >could've pulled that piece of shit when they took over, but didn't
> >(while nuking Shores of Dusk)
>
> It sold. An acquiring company has to go on sales figures because corporate
> information in the acquired company is apt to be biased.
EotM was obviously a piece of shit, and obviously they only had the
sales of Rabe's other two books to go on.
> >more like Watergate
>
> Gunthar was not a crook, and the dog's name was Millisant, not Checkers.
more along the lines of the immense public shock. The KoS couldn't
establish a proper command structure because the council didn't get a
quorum based on pre-Cataclysm standards. This lack of cohesion was
directly responsible for Crownguard getting probably a full third of the
knighthood wiped out.
> ><LoS mean well>
> >the fundamental DL lesson is STICK TOGETHER. If good's screwed, then
> >instead of starting a new order fix up the old one.
>
> "Stick together" doesn't apply to Raistlin or to Sturm or Laurana, for that
> matter.
Raist got toasted because of his lonewolfing. Sturm and Laurana at
least stuck with each other while trying to do the right thing and get
people together.
> <Better to get a continuity fix now than never.
> >what next generation? And the explanations should have been in Dragons
> >of Summer Flame, not Silver Hearts. It's a matter of logical
> >continuity, no matter when you read the series.
>
> Peter's more than doubled his sales, and it can't all be Pokemon. There's at
> least two generations of fans to come out there.
WHAT? I'd say another fifteen years is pretty optimistic (it's highly
probable I'll leave if WoS is not up to Chronicles standards),
especially as the line's been in decline for the last ten years or so.
I'd say the main body of DL fans *now* are people like me, who got into
roleplaying before major proliferation of alternatives.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Tolstrup continuity violations>
> >> >> >> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> >> >> >> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
> >*one look.* Besides, Takhy'd take too long trying to figure out which
> >can to use. Disks? Evidently the gods haven't read them either.
> >There's already a stack of copies of EotM next to the throne.
>
> I still don't think it's hygenic. Just how much of Kiri-Jolith is bison,
> anyway?
yer right, I wouldn't want to risk wiping my arse with EotM. I'd say
Kiri-Jolith's a well-groomed minotaur model.
> >> Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a bank that's not in it for the
> >money.
> >
> >so delightfully shortsighted at that. Wouldn't they make more money in
> >the long run if the living standard was higher?
>
> It makes more economic sense to lend another, solvent nation money to fix the
> third world country. It makes the interest payment more secure. Not nice, but
> it's cold reality.
so long as progress takes place. Incidentally, Sword is currently
knee-deep in Dili. When last seen he'd shot his way into what's left of
the UN compound, having wasted three militia and a couple of Indon
soldiers. Well, he only fired in self-defence. He also did the
'intimidation with pump shotgun' move on a bunch of militia, only it was
with a 40mm grenade launcher.
> Bunsen just knows he got a raw deal.
wasn't my decision mate. Could you let go of my leg?
> >> Back seats are not romantic. Besides, it may also bring down insurance
> >rates. Then again, not being a driver, it wouldn't impact me all that much.
> >
> >sounds like the prototypical political statement
>
> What is the law? Pain is the law.
gee, I so want to legally move where you live
> No one stops a heated moment to go shopping for "frangers" and that's how
> accidents happen.
first sight coitus is probably a bad idea anyway
> >> >> <Roleplaying the Human Torch at nine>
> >> >for me it's the heat, and the ongoing pain
> >>
> >> Pretty serious, if it's still bad after 12 years. I don't blame you for not
> >> liking fire.
> >
> >feels like plastic
>
> After I got hit by the car, I was happy to feel the pain. It meant he hadn't
> clipped my spine. I got really pissed the next day, when I couldn't get up out
> of bed.
go after the bastard with a tomahawk? Prioritisation's fair enough.
> >he beat Expert, then knocked off my Intermediate record. He tends to be
> >working or whatever.
>
> I worked part-time in a comics shop at his age.
he's nineteen 23/10. And he works in a bottle shop (drinking age is 18
here)
> >but then they'd be deformed and less use as chimes
>
> It would work as modern art.
if you're Dr Lecter's neighbour
> >> >> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
> >> >> >> <singing lessons by appointment only>
> >> >> If running were the only *problem* it wouldn't be much of a Test.
> >> >good thing I've also got a ceramic derringer secreted on my person
> >> Shakedowns happen outside, before entering the Tower.
> >
> >*secreted*
>
> I'll let Ricky Martin search for it.
that does it. He dies.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><kiss me you fool>
> >the American Bill of Rights....
>
> If Rupert can get away with his stuff, then Kinth should be home free.
who do you think Sword's going after when he's finished with militia and
Ronan Keating? Besides, Murdoch has greater resources than even the god
of vengeance.
> ><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
> >> Then it's first class accommodations at the Roach Motel and the Mouse House
> >for you both.
> >
> >cool. Sean is of course waiting to dry you and tuck you in.
>
> He'd have to gnaw himself out of the trap first.
I never heard of a rat trap that could hold a human (and a human-sized
trap would amputate something, which he'd just graft back on)
<combat hairties>
> >but I'll be wearing tabi, which use elastic
>
> <snip> Elastic works too.
and you'll get my shoes off how?
> >> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
<Sean, entrepreneur>
> >> Then I'm surprised you didn't veto the merger as Anti-Trust. It's what the
> >> majority shareholders are supposed to do if they're unhappy.
> >
> >he's not going to go up against Satan just yet
>
> Satan works for Microsoft.
Satan is also on the Hasbro board and the architect of the Infringement
Notice system
> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
> >> >> >you sure you want to *eat* that?
> >> >> I brought it in with me. The fridge in here was empty.
> >> >
> >> >you thought *that* was a fridge? Besides, have you thought about what
> >> >you're using to roast the chook?
> >>
> >> Boiled it in hot water first, so it's past is history.
> >
> >I'm surprised you can stand near the angst pits without fantasising
> >about Baby Spice and a Triad knife
>
> I've turned down the volume to low.
then you must be nearly deaf. It doesn't go that low.
> >> You're disfiguring the Venus De Milo? Isn't it bad enough that she has no
> >> arms?
> >
> >no, this one's delightfully squishy
>
> You're disfiguring the Pilsbury doughboy?
this one's delightfully female, and somewhere between 16-30.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> <Vee the Cat Burglar revisited>
> >> >> >> <Rohan knows how to keep Granak happy>
> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
> >> >yer right, it'll take me a while to get all those guns and drugs moved.
> >>
> >> You can always go via catapult, like good old Fizban did.
> >
> >I'm looking at submarines
>
> The gnomes would build catapults to fling those, too, ala Heroes and Fools.
no, the main gnomish weapon system is a gigantic slingshot
> >> if they're in the subway, then they're not involved in car chases.
> >
> >and if somebody farts?
>
> You walk between the cars and open a window.
yes, but I live in the tunnels
> >> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
> >> >> You can always make a Davy Crockett hat out of him.
> >> >
> >> >I can say it's lionskin...
> >>
> >> And Bunsen, of course, brought down the lion, together with an opossum or
> >two.
> >
> >oopsie. Bunsen's the hat, while Spike is more like a pair of gloves.
>
> Won't those colors clash?
on second thoughts, Spike's probably the right size for one of my 12yo
cousins. Which one did I pull for Christmas?
<hot pussy>
> >so, how much was it insured for and what accelerant did you use?
>
> It was insured for quite a bit, but it went into fixing the place. The house
> is over a hundred years old. It was a proven electrical fire.
caused by say a fault in a circuit?
> >> <Rohan's charming DM is molding him into a new character>
> >female paladin character remember
>
> Retain water and bitch through PMS?
dammit! As the character I've been handed is a stereotype, I'm trying
to work in others.
> >> >> >> ><hit Takhy for maternity?>
> ><Bertrem, postal worker>
> >no, now he wants to go on to bigger and better feats of devastation
>
> He'll have to fight Ricky for you first.
you'll find the buttcheeks on your doormat
> >> ><soft as a feather>
> >> <Mum's the word>
> >> Goody. I like practice rounds.
> >
> >good, because that's what's in your gun
>
> Keep on believing that. You won't feel a thing, I promise.
somehow I doubt *Sean* is going to let me down, especially when I'm
holding his character sheet
> >> They'll find it when you're declawed.
> >
> >sounds invasive. Was it Con Air or U.S. Marshals?
>
> Guiliani's citizen committee.
eww. I was of course referring to the idea of concealing a weapon
actually in flesh
<oh shit>
> >er, I'm officially catagorised as human
> ><sweat>
>
> A likely story. Are you allergic to anesthesia?
I'm definitely allergic to castration
> >> >> >> >> >> >> <assassination attempt on sacred feline>
> >> >> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
<Sean wouldn't waste a Madonna?>
> >he's also murdered three blokes, although they had it coming. And he'd
> >probably take the Catholic approach and presume you're lying.
>
> He'd kneel and say a rosary first, and i've got him then.
he takes a very 'hit 'em back first' approach. Strangely both he
(Belfast) and Sword (Spanish Harlem) are Catholic, and I didn't really
think about it at the time.
> >> >> <Step up, back down>
<I'm the Ministry of Love>
> <Sure you do>
<Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
> I'll send something all right. I guess your dad can always get Simon another
> pet.
you're not very nice
> >>Central Park, then. By the way, is that a mosquito on your cheek?
> >
> >Penetrato, the latest werecritter to join the pack, hitching a lift.
> >Can I interest you in a S&W ASP 9mm? Fits in a pocket, can take some
> >pretty impressive ammo (with clear grips and magazine) and has a
> >guttersnipe sight designed for fast acquisition.
>
> The encephalitus is already progressing as planned ...
yes, but I'm INVINCIBLE
Rohan "shoot the hostage" Tolstrup, shrugging out of a blast-damaged
flak vest and checking the G3
Tolstrup
> >
> >isn't the Law of Chaos that it builds on itself?
>
> Yes it is. I was referring to what would happen if Chaos won, per the
> Krynnish description of his goals. Oblivion doesn't seem to be a state
> that generates chaos.
my thoughts are that he was trying to turn the place back into
phlogiston, which seems chaos incarnate.
> >Maybe when the gods created Krynn they willingly took on a new form of
> >existence?
>
> It would certainly explain why Chaos would be upset. But maybe the form wasn't
> a new one, just one they took to bug the heck out of dad. If Chaos and the
> High God are different beings, then it sounds like the kiddies chose to follow
> the High God's example.
as in, they evolved, he didn't.
> >that's what you think. But then they're doctors so you never know.
>
> The God of Dentists has to get the practice going first before he can think
> about
> hanky panky. And no, his first name is not Bob.
it's a seller's market, otherwise we wouldn't put up with our dentist
constantly overbooking
> Salmissra was mortal druggy hippie. Her magics seem to be concentrated on
> enhancing her ability to engage in bestiality. A real minion is going to want
> not only power, but the ability to use it freely.
hmm. If Pazza's servitors are long-lived rather than immortal, than his
deputy could be a somewhat empowered celestial who is senior of his
race. Much more powerful than any mortal, but nowhere near a god.
> >> ><1984ing minions>
> >sounds like hubris. Essentially it was one person EVER born.
>
> It does seem that dragons had the ability to ignore Tak when they choose to.
> Sargonnas and Nuitari also plotted behind her back at their leisure. In BiA,
> it's implied that only Nuitari knew about his mom's plans, but he didn't
> hesitate to tell Solinari and Lunitari. If minions are introduced, they would
> probably turn a situation like this to their advantage very quickly.
they are after all gods, who can survive without Takhy. What if her
servitor race depends on her continued existence?
> >oh, and they refused to pay their dues until he stepped down
>
> They're just following Tim Hainey's philosophy of voting with their dollars.
of course, applying commercial pressure to TSR to fix DL is somewhat
different from blackmailing the UN into sacking its CEO
<South America sounds fun>
> >and while we're at it, without victims there can be no crime. Declare
> >war on poverty, Daffy Duck style.
>
> While I was there, there were a bunch of fraternity guys playing a prank
> in the plaza. One of them was dressed up as Superman, and ran up and down
> the plaza looking for people to save. When the other guys hoisted him up to
> make it look like he was flying, several cops materializedut of nowhere in
> seconds and staked the plaza. But surprisingly, they let the prank continue.
they saw your camcorder?
> <Lunch is on Spike>
>
> >customs won't let him import 'em, and he may not have had time to stop
> >at the feline 7-11.
>
> He can always scrounge up a pigeon or two.
caw caw BANG **** I'm dead. He might let me do the shopping this time.
> >> >> <One blind mouse, see how he runs>
> ><gun up arse but constipated?>
> <Let's test the new biological weapon on the rat>
>
> >third person now? Besides, because he's already got the granddaddy of
> >all diseases, he's immune to any other disease, virus etc. And as he
> >just heals up, he'd hack his guts open with a scalpel and several
> >friendly rats.
>
> While the friendly rats keep him occupied, it'll be easy to set his whiskers
> ablaze.
that would REALLY hurt. But seeing as it would take some time for the
bowel condition to reach critical point, he's enacting the Rite of the
Bolthole and getting the hell out
> >> <Officer Steve Miller, Continuity Cop>
> >
> >in the movie version he's played by Leslie Easterbrook
>
> What I wouldn't give to see Steve's response to that one. And since I seem to
> remember Steve having a beard, you're on Leslie Easterbrook's hit list now too.
I was thinking Lassard, but that's just too old
>
> Does this mean you're contemplating the role of Tackleberry?
I'd rather not become typecast. Maybe I should do some Jane Austen
adaptations, eg Pride and Extreme Prejudice.
> >something in a TSR product is by definition official. Unofficial canon
> >is something that doesn't have the DL logo on it.
>
> But then it's WotC's fault for letting it pass.
yep, and by extension whoever they appointed to make the decision
> >> >> <Altie is born in the USA>
> >> Where there's gold, there's convicts.
> >
> >eventually. The closest we came to a civil war was over mining licences
>
> I picked up a biography of Wyatt Earp as told by his wife and it actually
> turned out to be a fascinating read. I'd imagine Tombstone, AZ and Virginia
> would have had a lot in common.
do you mean Victoria? Sluttia is in America although I've been in DC.
> >it's a wish I would have happily fulfilled
>
> My hero. But then again, you're always looking for practice targets.
not ALWAYS. And I just like conversing with the competition
> >> <Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
>
> >you're not saying nasty things about your sister are you?
>
> Nope. She wears that nickname like a badge of honor.
and she'll be regarded as the typical bluerinse Nana by her grandkids...
> >> I don't usually read books about the NYPD. There are more than enough
> >stories about them in the daily newspaper.
> >
> >fair enough. I can't help but look for bureaucratically useful stuff.
> >My 'corrupt vice cop' campaign idea is based on formal education.
>
> There's enough real life material out now for several campaigns. All the
> current stuff out there involving Rudy and Rev. Al would make several
> good novels, not to mention a comedy routine or two.
I got a lot of my info from an inquiry into the force
> <Casinos are a rich man's game that's meant to suck in the poor.>
> <Common sense crosses all social castes>
>
> >so we're told... I'm thinking subliminals
>
> Casinos do promote the "get rich quick" scheme and it does stand to reason that
> this would appeal more to the "have nots." But someone who puts the kids'
> college fund into a slot machine had problems long before he stepped into a
> casino.
pity he can't afford a shrink
> <Henry's wives' obituaries>
> I was talking about the last two -- Catherine Howard, who unlike Anne
> Boleyn, did commit adultery and is said to haunt Hampton Court, and
> Catherine Parr, who survived him.
didn't he buy the fourth one sight unseen and she turned out a cow?
>
> Henry probably lived so long after his son was born because the kid
> was sickly, Dad had done a nice job of redistributing the church's booty
> among his followers, and only Henry was strong enough at that stage
> in history to prevent a civil war.
the grim spectre of assassination. I was thinking more in terms of
sheer inertia.
> <Taming a Kolalataur>
> >
> >I can see a lot of stuff your way, like your head. Say cheese.
>
> No you can't. How many fingers am I hold up on my right hand?
excuse me while I rewind the tape. Remember, I'm reading this three
hours after you wrote it.
> <Rohan's looking for an alibi>
> >>
> >> No. That would make me an accessory after the fact.
> >
> >not really, no. If you're going to solve one of your problems...
>
> First mantra of the business world -- never get caught solving your own
> problems.
hence my offer of an alibi. Come on, you know you want to.
> >> >> >> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
> <Cleaning up at WotC>
>
> >my will's quite specific. But then again, if I can give him what I've
> >got...
>
> And what is it that you'd give poor Peter?
now there's a thought
> <The Tostrup-Brattbakk custody agreement>
>
> >but if Dad's left alive we're talking Fatal Attraction
>
> All's fair in love and war.
aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh
> >you're still assuming I'm going to walk several kilometres pushing a
> >heavy object
>
> It'll keep you in shape and build up upper body muscles.
I ride an exercise bike, walk Bunsen and lift a solid steel and wood
rifle with my left hand
> >> >> >> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
> >> Every seductress needs a bodyguard. Even Kit had Soth.
> >
> >yes, but he certainly didn't have moral problems
>
> Snow could just tell the huntsman that she's providing guidance and advice.
> He'd be standing outside of the room, after all.
but then she'd have to gag 'em, and that's kinky.
> ><Sturm's lack of counsel>
> >the law was unclear. Crownguard had no authority over him or any knight
> >not formally attached to his command, and Sturm was interpreting the
> >Measure rather than defying it.
>
> Derek did have authority over Sturm on the Ice Wall expedition, so Derek
> was within his rights to describe Sturm as defying his commands.
"I am not a Knight, as you so frequently point out." And certainly
Sturm hadn't been assigned to his command. Besides, the Oath requires
that the right thing be done, not that the person normally in charge
must be obeyed.
> >> ><Ecstacy, spice of life>
> >> Drugs are bad, uhm, okay.
> >
> >and you believe that?
>
> Not 100%. Penicillin's good.
pseudoephedrine, caffeine and Mylanta
<they tarred me age 7?>
> >> He was really Damien Thorne.
> >
> >excuse me while I go Yahooing
>
> While you're at it, you can look up the Omen. That's where you'll find
> Damien.
whuzzat?
> >> >> Somebody has to bear the child.
> >> >
> >> >foiled again. I'd advise you to call the bomb squad then.
> >>
> >> Only after I'm certain the bomb has gone off.
> >
> >then get a hotel room
>
> The Plaza's right across the street from Central Park.
and cover your ears
> <It's Rohan, not Roman>
> >I don't exactly look like a Roman patrician
>
> Pity. Tiberius' brother Drusus was gorgeous.
a Drusus is something you stab people with
> >> <Rosamun was shunned because she was crazy, not because of her magic.>
> >> In the Soulforge, they explain that Gregor and Rosamun high tailed it to
> >Solace because Gregor was being pursued for something that he'd done.
> >
> >and DoWN said that he'd found her in Solace
>
> Quick! Somebody call Officer Miller.
they'll never take me alive!
> <Rohan's inconsistent about his DL consistency>
>
> >I'd say 'but that was a long time ago' but Blackadder springs to mind
>
> Good recovery.
I did something right?
> >> Leave it to Gilon to give Rosamun LSD and tell her it's good for the baby.
> >
> >General Gilon was too busy fighting the red dragons to notice it was bad
> >shit
>
> It does explain why Caramon walked around in a fog for the first 20 years of
> his life.
first 28 dear
<hey Ricky>
> >don't tell me you'd object to me going after him with a scoped G3 battle
> >rifle (with bipod, match grade barrel and underbarrel 40mm grenade
> >launcher)?
>
> I don't have any objections, but are you trying to tell us all something by
> coveting Ricky's butt?
er, I'm just trying to annihilate the bastard okay?
> I'm just too adorable to be convicted. And I can always present this thread
> as proof.
I have NSA contacts. And you won't be so adorable by the time I've
fixed things.
> ><voting fun>
> <Terrorism accomplishes what voting doesn't>
> >did I mention my ideology's pseudo-militia?
>
> One retriever does not a militia make.
*ideology.* I understand where McVeigh came from, although his methods
were pretty drastic.
> ><varying definitions of foul>
> >no, I was thinking of Henry's feats of crapulence
>
> Henry didn't become a gross out case until he was an old man.
heard about how the Marquis de Sade shuffled off?
> >> >> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
> >> Marmaduke is a Great Dane who thinks he's a puppy.
> >
> >Bunsen *is* a puppy. He's nine months old.
>
> He's a teenager.
isn't it 1 human year = 7 dog years?
> <Rohan's got a politician's memory>
>
> >> Keep talking out of both sides of your mouth like that and you'll be PM
> >before you are 30.
> >
> >but that'd mean the Liberal Party being run by actual liberals
>
> They'll stay liberal only until it falls out of fashion.
they're about as conservative as you can get, except economically.
> <Puppy propulsion.>
> >
> >essentially he's displacing water with his hind legs and muscular lower
> >back, steering by doing so in a specific direction. And I can move his
> >tail by moving his head the same way.
>
> What a great time to set a shark loose in the water.
I only need one hand to steer him, and I've got the rest of the stash
> >the specific problem of Istar was that they'd forgotten how to use their
> >power
>
> But that seemed to be a problem with all clerics, or Tak's clergy would have
> at least attempted to overthrow Istar. Tak spent more time than Paladine
> between the first Cataclysm and the WotL rebuilding her worship and
> retraining her clerics.
I meant that they'd forgotten how to interpret his teachings. I'm sure
that Takhy's twenty living worshipers were quite high-standard.
> >she'd leave the local stuff to underlings. She played to at least a
> >national stage. I'd say after a year or so of recuperation she's taking
> >on the big issues, probably working closely with Tanis and Laurana.
>
> If the Church of Paladine was run on the Vatican model, Crysania would be tied
> with the administrative burden of legislating to her national parishes, and
> would go on tour to speak out about human rights, poverty, and other
> issues. Dalamar would be of bigger concern to her than the Measure.
he's not stupid enough to try and take over Palanthas. Her dealings
with him are as representative of magic, or she may just go to
Justarius. And she knows what the big picture longterm issues are,
being her place to act on them.
> >> >> >> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
> >not quite the same effect, but blow a support pillar and a building's
> >going down.
>
> That's what was said about the World Trade Center.
but those geniuses tried to get the deposit back. I'm assuming a
standard building.
> <Hillary for Aussie PM>
>
> >> There's always Bill's contacts. He laid the groundwork while he was
> >> out in New Zealand the other week.
> >
> >are they still on speaking terms?
>
> Politics always came before marital bliss. Besides, that FALN fiasco may
> have cost her NY.
all together now: "awwwww"
> ><KoT merger>
> <The KoS allied with the other nations because they needed to for defense,
> not because of a faulty Measure>
>
> >PLEASE don't insult our intelligence
>
> You tend to do that all by your lonesome, snookums.
excuse me while I write bad verse about oblivion and play with a .38
> The elves were perfectly happy to isolate themselves back up in their
> forests after the WotL and the mountain dwarves shut the gates of Thorbardin
> at every opportunity. And after the High Clerist's debacle, the KoS was
> desperate for help against the KoT.
but surely it was obvious they needed to stick together, and the events
of 2nd Gen are really based on monumental stupidity.
> <Why should other races respect the KoS when humans didn't?>
> >
> >of course, the knights got that treatment because they were going on
> >Istarian practices. So more pressure.
>
> They got that treatment because the KoS chose to honor the old gods
> that everyone else despised, and because they failed to stop the
> Cataclysm. The KoS were getting hit hard because they were NOT
> following Istarian practices in their worship.
Istar-era. It's like that 300yo 'there is no such crime as rape in
marriage' case upheld in '93. They were treated with contempt because
they refused to change.
> >EotM was obviously a piece of shit, and obviously they only had the
> >sales of Rabe's other two books to go on.
>
> Literary quality is not indicative of a best seller, just ask Jackie Collins.
> EotM was the finale of a profitable trilogy, and the new guy never
> tampers with success.
which is why they *cancelled* a book for Bob Salvatore. It is truly a
book that should never have been published.
> <The knighthood's inability to establish the quorum per the Measure led to
> Derek gaining control of the KoS>
>
> Unlike Nixon, Derek knew how to use the rules to his advantage. If Derek had
> done something that was a blatant violation of the Measure and it could be
> proven by witnesses, he would have gone down just like Nixon did.
of course, that'd be bloody hard. He wouldn't have been such a loose
cannon if it'd been possible to elect a grand master.
> >> ><LoS mean well>
> >Raist got toasted because of his lonewolfing. Sturm and Laurana at
> >least stuck with each other while trying to do the right thing and get
> >people together.
>
> Sturm never set out to fix anything -- his death at the High Clerist's tower
> was the act of a man trying the save people he loved. In Chronicles,
> Laurana's main goal was always Tanis -- leading the army was secondary.
I was under the impression she'd evolved around early DoWN, all that
time spent with Elistan. She was the Golden General dammit.
> >> <Better to get a continuity fix now than never.>
>
> >> Peter's more than doubled his sales, and it can't all be Pokemon. There's
> >at least two generations of fans to come out there.
> >
> >WHAT? I'd say another fifteen years is pretty optimistic (it's highly
> >probable I'll leave if WoS is not up to Chronicles standards),
>
> You defy categorization and the AFDL population doesn't seem to be
> representative of the majority of younger fans.
mentioned that before. If there's a lot of young readers I'd expect to
see a lot more of them around here.
> >especially as the line's been in decline for the last ten years or so.
>
> The line is rebounding and writing pool overall has improved. It's been
> the books that have kept DL alive all this time.
life support basically. All because of an inability to move the
timeline forward and do things properly.
> >I'd say the main body of DL fans *now* are people like me, who got into
> >roleplaying before major proliferation of alternatives.
>
> It's too broad a generalization to make. The novels are always my first
> choice, and you've got fans like Magneto who couldn't care less about
> roleplaying. And younger kids seem to like the new covers, since they
> resemble comic book art.
I got into DL via roleplaying and logically there's no reason I'm not
pretty average.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><High Clerist's Thunderbox>
> >> >> >> >> <The gods have varying degrees of restroom etiquette>
> >yer right, I wouldn't want to risk wiping my arse with EotM. I'd say
> >Kiri-Jolith's a well-groomed minotaur model.
>
> LOL. You are just incorrigible sometimes.
> >
> <The IMF, like all banks, is in it for the money.?
>
> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
East Timor is not part of Indonesia
>
> When does it all make it into a campaign?
this is of course in a game I'm playing in. I'm wondering what the big
disaster of October will be, as that'll be the next adventure.
> >> Bunsen just knows he got a raw deal.
> >
> >wasn't my decision mate. Could you let go of my leg?
>
> It's Bunsen's turn to do a little invasive surgery.
good thing I've got a M1911 Combat Commander .45 on my belt, plus that
stash of identical puppies.
> >> What is the law? Pain is the law.
> >
> >gee, I so want to legally move where you live
>
> Actually, that's from the Island of Dr. Moreau.
<rack>
> <Comparative injuries>
>
> >> After I got hit by the car, I was happy to feel the pain. It meant he
> >hadn't clipped my spine. I got really pissed the next day, when I couldn't
> > get up out of bed.
> >
> >go after the bastard with a tomahawk? Prioritisation's fair enough.
>
> If there's anything left after my lawyer's done.
good point. Get a big fan for all those particles
> <Simon's the Minesweeper God>
> >
> >he's nineteen 23/10. And he works in a bottle shop (drinking age is 18
> >here)
>
> The advantage is all for the store owners here. I got paid, but of course I
> spent a portion of my salary at the shop weekly.
naturally. CrackDonalds has it stiched up here.
> >> It would work as modern art.
> >
> >if you're Dr Lecter's neighbour
>
> There's a travelling British exhibit in town right now that showcases animals
> sliced in two.
but of course. They're actually quite erotic.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
> >> I'll let Ricky Martin search for it.
> >
> >that does it. He dies.
>
> He'll die happy then.
I'm rigorously enforcing Personal Space where he's concerned <click>.
> >> >the American Bill of Rights....
> >>
> >> If Rupert can get away with his stuff, then Kinth should be home free.
> >
> >who do you think Sword's going after when he's finished with militia and
> >Ronan Keating? Besides, Murdoch has greater resources than even the god
> >of vengeance.
>
> The god of newspapers has affiliates here in the States. I can see Rupert
> bankrolling the defense in exchange for distribution rights.
of course. But Sword isn't taking him to court.
> >> ><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
> >I never heard of a rat trap that could hold a human (and a human-sized
> >trap would amputate something, which he'd just graft back on)
>
> It'd be cut and burn. It's hard to re-attach ashes.
then he'd just dodge the bloody thing. He literally has a sixth sense
that warns him of impending danger, and that aside he has professionally
trained observation skills and a 'perception' ability score which in
AD&D terms would be 16-17.
> ><combat hairties>
> >> >but I'll be wearing tabi, which use elastic
> >>
> >> <snip> Elastic works too.
> >
> >and you'll get my shoes off how?
>
> Slicing off the foot should do it.
there seems to be a gap in the logical continuity...
> >> >> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
> ><Sean, entrepreneur>
> <Satan, toy maker>
>
> >Satan is also on the Hasbro board and the architect of the Infringement
> >Notice system
>
> That explains the flattering countenance of Darth Maul.
Satan sent his inflatable doll as a model
> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
>
> >> >I'm surprised you can stand near the angst pits without fantasising
> >> >about Baby Spice and a Triad knife
> >>
> >> I've turned down the volume to low.
> >
> >then you must be nearly deaf. It doesn't go that low.
>
> I've got my Walkman with me. Tubthumper's drowning you out.
but Sean's running around in there and he's probably swiped your
batteries by now
> >> >no, this one's delightfully squishy
> >>
> >> You're disfiguring the Pilsbury doughboy?
> >
> >this one's delightfully female, and somewhere between 16-30.
>
> Under 18 is a criminal offense, Koalataur.
so it wouldn't be if I was torturing an adult?
> >> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
> >no, the main gnomish weapon system is a gigantic slingshot
>
> Then they'd try to load the submarine into the new popcorn popper that
> debuted in Heroes and Fools.
no, they'd build one the size of Mt Nevermind for the sub
> >> >and if somebody farts?
> >>
> >> You walk between the cars and open a window.
> >
> >yes, but I live in the tunnels
>
> You can always stick your nose out of a subway grating.
based on that info, do you want to open a train window?
> >> >> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
> >on second thoughts, Spike's probably the right size for one of my 12yo
> >cousins. Which one did I pull for Christmas?
>
> Pulling? Your cousins are elastic?
figure of speech, and neither Sally or Eliza would agree with another
possibility.
> ><hot pussy>
> <He means electrical fire>
>
> >caused by say a fault in a circuit?
>
> You get another gold star.
cool. Can I redeem them?
> >dammit! As the character I've been handed is a stereotype, I'm trying
> >to work in others.
>
> Dress her in black, give her a rosary and a ruler, and you've got more
> Catholic sterotypes to work with. A ruler can be a deadly weapon.
nah, she's a blonde paladin with a red cloak and full plate,
accessorised by a bastard sword.
> >> He'll have to fight Ricky for you first.
> >
> >you'll find the buttcheeks on your doormat
>
> I could always pull a Mrs. Lovett and make meat pies. Want a slice?
already eaten. How did the chook turn out and what did you have with
it?
> >> Keep on believing that. You won't feel a thing, I promise.
> >
> >somehow I doubt *Sean* is going to let me down, especially when I'm
> >holding his character sheet
>
> <rrriippp> You were. You can always use it for confetti.
you found the old one I see
> >> >sounds invasive. Was it Con Air or U.S. Marshals?
> >>
> >> Guiliani's citizen committee.
> >
> >eww. I was of course referring to the idea of concealing a weapon
> >actually in flesh
>
> And they'll have a positively wonderful time trying to dig it out. For your
> own good, of course.
W
> ><oh shit>
> >> A likely story. Are you allergic to anesthesia?
> >
> >I'm definitely allergic to castration
> They'll give you an antihistamine before the operation starts.
this is a recorded message
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr
> >> >> >> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
> ><Sean wouldn't waste a Madonna?>
>
> >> He'd kneel and say a rosary first, and i've got him then.
> >
> >he takes a very 'hit 'em back first' approach. Strangely both he
> >(Belfast) and Sword (Spanish Harlem) are Catholic, and I didn't really
> >think about it at the time.
>
> There are more rules in the Catholic faith than the Measure. That and the
> "we are all born with original sin" doctrine provides lots of role playing
> fodder.
of course, Sean can rationalise nearly *anything*, and Sword is somewhat
old testament.
> >> >> >> <Step up, back down>
> ><I'm the Ministry of Love>
>
> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
> >you're not very nice
>
> He'll go gently, since he's doing me the favor of holding onto your leg as
> the bomb goes off.
you let him sniff your Semtex vest? How nice. But I doubt I could fit
that in my pocket.
> <Penetrato, the were-mosquito, debuts>
> >>
> >> The encephalitus is already progressing as planned ...
> >
> >yes, but I'm INVINCIBLE
>
> I'd say about as invincible as Hurricane Floyd, which did me the favor of
> getting me a day off from work and then dissipating into a tropical storm.
er, okay.
OOOXXX
Rohan Tolstrup, Enemy of the World
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> <If Chaos obliviates everything, isn't he dooming himself?>
>my thoughts are that he was trying to turn the place back into
>phlogiston, which seems chaos incarnate.
Could be. What's not sitting right with me is that the chaos described in
RotBS is not kinetic, but f a vacuum. But RotBS is not really a book that
advances the timeline, so it could just be one author's point of view.
>
>> >Maybe when the gods created Krynn they willingly took on a new form of
>> >existence?
<Chaos is pissed because the kids take after the High God>
>
>as in, they evolved, he didn't.
Like I discussed with Frank, maybe Chaos and the High God are just two sides of
the same coin -- the destructive and creative forces of the Krynnish universe.
>
<The God of Dentists has to work before he can play>
>
>it's a seller's market, otherwise we wouldn't put up with our dentist
>constantly overbooking
For some reason, we have a lot of good dentists where I live, at least for the
rudimentary stuff. The oral surgeons are in the sellers' market here.
>
>
>hmm. If Pazza's servitors are long-lived rather than immortal, than his
>deputy could be a somewhat empowered celestial who is senior of his
>race. Much more powerful than any mortal, but nowhere near a god.
Like the Maiar in Tolkien? That might work -- the worst the Maiar ever did was
go native, like Melian, or carry out their Masters' wishes too well, like
Sauron.
>
>> >> ><1984ing minions>
<Dragons and subordinate gods have plotted against Tak, why not minions?>
>they are after all gods, who can survive without Takhy. What if her
>servitor race depends on her continued existence?
I wonder if she has enough power to do that. Look at the draconians. Tak went
to the extreme of not breeding females in order to ensure that the dracs died
out.
>
<US plays voting for dollars with the UN>
>of course, applying commercial pressure to TSR to fix DL is somewhat
>different from blackmailing the UN into sacking its CEO
Yep. Blackmailing the UN tends to work.
>
><South America sounds fun>
<No one in Argentina will arrest Superman>
>
>they saw your camcorder?
I wish I had it. I was carrying my 35m and the guy obligingly gave me the
classic jumping out of the telephone booth pose. It's a rather neat picture.
>
>> <Lunch is on Spike>
>>
<Pigeons on the endangered list>
>
>caw caw BANG **** I'm dead. He might let me do the shopping this time.
Pigeons are considered a delicacy in some parts of the world. Spike's just
showing you how much he cares.
>
>> >> >> <One blind mouse, see how he runs>
>> ><gun up arse but constipated?>
>> <Let's test the new biological weapon on the rat>
>>
<The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
>that would REALLY hurt. But seeing as it would take some time for the
>bowel condition to reach critical point, he's enacting the Rite of the
>Bolthole and getting the hell out
Rat down, human to go.
>
>> >> <Officer Steve Miller, Continuity Cop>
>> >
<Steve's too young to be the head of Police Academy>
Zed, the character played by Bobcat Goldthwaite, talks like a cross between a
kender and an ogre.
>>
>> Does this mean you're contemplating the role of Tackleberry?
>
>I'd rather not become typecast. Maybe I should do some Jane Austen
>adaptations, eg Pride and Extreme Prejudice.
You'd be a perfect Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights.
>
>> >something in a TSR product is by definition official. Unofficial canon
>> >is something that doesn't have the DL logo on it.
>>
>> But then it's WotC's fault for letting it pass.
>
>yep, and by extension whoever they appointed to make the decision
Steve presented a work for hire and they bought it. That's why I always place
the blame solely on the company.
<Victoria's gold rush>
>
>> >> Where there's gold, there's convicts.
>> >
>> >eventually. The closest we came to a civil war was over mining licences
>>
>> I picked up a biography of Wyatt Earp as told by his wife and it actually
>> turned out to be a fascinating read. I'd imagine Tombstone, AZ and
>Virginia would have had a lot in common.
>
>do you mean Victoria? Sluttia is in America although I've been in DC.
Oops, I did. Confused it with Virginia City. Sluttia's most likely in Nevada,
where prostitution is legal in some counties.
>
<Beating the competition>
>> My hero. But then again, you're always looking for practice targets.
>
>not ALWAYS. And I just like conversing with the competition
Believe me, this was not competition. That would mean there was something even
remotely interesting about him.
>
>> >> <Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
>>
>> >you're not saying nasty things about your sister are you?
>>
>> Nope. She wears that nickname like a badge of honor.
>
>and she'll be regarded as the typical bluerinse Nana by her grandkids...
But disabusing those kinds of notions is what baby sisters are for.
>
<NYPD: the truth is stranger than fiction>
>>
>I got a lot of my info from an inquiry into the force
You spoke to Yoda?
>
>> <Casinos are a rich man's game that's meant to suck in the poor.>
>> <Common sense crosses all social castes>
<Someone who blows it all at a casino already had problems to begin with>
>
>pity he can't afford a shrink
Social services provides one for free.
>
>> <Henry's wives' obituaries>
>
>didn't he buy the fourth one sight unseen and she turned out a cow?
Yep. Holbein painted a flattering portrait of Anne of Cleves and Henry's
endearing comment when she stepped off the ship was that he'd bought himself a
Flemish mare.
>>
<There were lots of reasons why Henry's enemies didn't kill him>
>
>the grim spectre of assassination. I was thinking more in terms of
>sheer inertia.
He was disgusting toward the end, but his mind stayed pretty sharp. Having
ambassadors from Spain and France who were looking for an excuse to go to war
kept him active.
>
<Peekaboo, I see you>
>>
>> No you can't. How many fingers am I hold up on my right hand?
>
>excuse me while I rewind the tape. Remember, I'm reading this three
>hours after you wrote it.
I'll give you a hint -- it's greater than 0 and less than 6.
>
>> <Rohan's looking for an alibi>
>> First mantra of the business world -- never get caught solving your own
>> problems.
>
>hence my offer of an alibi. Come on, you know you want to.
You're not offering an alibi, you're asking me to be one. Slight difference
there.
>
>> >> >> >> <Australian Spring soap : Manly yes, but would I like it too?>
>> <Cleaning up at WotC>
>>
>> >my will's quite specific. But then again, if I can give him what I've
>> >got...
>>
>> And what is it that you'd give poor Peter?
>
>now there's a thought
You're evading my question.
>
>> <The Tostrup-Brattbakk custody agreement>
>>
>> >but if Dad's left alive we're talking Fatal Attraction
>>
>> All's fair in love and war.
>
>aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh
A serenade. How romantic.
>
<Burning calories>
>
>I ride an exercise bike, walk Bunsen and lift a solid steel and wood
>rifle with my left hand
Just how far do you walk Bunsen? He seems to poop in the house fairly often.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <The huntsman is a moron, but he might be a useful moron>
< Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
>> Snow could just tell the huntsman that she's providing guidance and advice.
>> He'd be standing outside of the room, after all.
>
>but then she'd have to gag 'em, and that's kinky.
As long as the huntsman's not looking it doesn't matter. Kinky's in the eye of
the beholder.
>
>> ><Sturm's lack of counsel>
<Derek had authority over Sturm because of the Icewall expedition>
>
>"I am not a Knight, as you so frequently point out." And certainly
>Sturm hadn't been assigned to his command. Besides, the Oath requires
>that the right thing be done, not that the person normally in charge
>must be obeyed.
But Sturm was a squire, and pretty much had to behave like a pledge at a
fraternity -- Sturm had to obey all of the upper classmen. And it's the
Measure that used to legislate authority in the Knighthood.
>
>> >> ><Ecstacy, spice of life>
>> >> Drugs are bad, uhm, okay.
>> >
>> >and you believe that?
>>
>> Not 100%. Penicillin's good.
>
>pseudoephedrine, caffeine and Mylanta
Forgot about caffeine. It gives me the shakes to think about life without a
Pepsi.
>
><they tarred me age 7?>
>
>whuzzat?
In the Omen, Satan's son was named Damien Thorne.
>
>> <It's Rohan, not Roman>
>> >I don't exactly look like a Roman patrician
>>
>> Pity. Tiberius' brother Drusus was gorgeous.
>
>a Drusus is something you stab people with
Makes sense. He certainly was sharp.
>
<Rosamun was shunned because she was crazy, not because of her magic.>
<Continuity error between DoWN and the Soulforge>
>> Quick! Somebody call Officer Miller.
>
>they'll never take me alive!
I don't think alive entered into his equation.
>
>> <Rohan's inconsistent about his DL consistency>
>>
>> >I'd say 'but that was a long time ago' but Blackadder springs to mind
>>
>> Good recovery.
>
>I did something right?
It happens now and then.
>
<Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
>>
>> It does explain why Caramon walked around in a fog for the first 20
>> years of his life.
>
>first 28 dear
I gave Raistlin credit for the last 8. Gilon could never have known Caramon
would try to leave his wife for his brother.
>
><hey Ricky>
>>
>> I don't have any objections, but are you trying to tell us all something by
>> coveting Ricky's butt?
>
>er, I'm just trying to annihilate the bastard okay?
>
>> I'm just too adorable to be convicted. And I can always present this
>thread as proof.
>
>I have NSA contacts. And you won't be so adorable by the time I've
>fixed things.
Disfigurement didn't stop the Venus de Milo from being a work of art.
>
>> ><voting fun>
>> <Terrorism accomplishes what voting doesn't>
>> >did I mention my ideology's pseudo-militia?
>>
>> One retriever does not a militia make.
>
>*ideology.* I understand where McVeigh came from, although his methods
>were pretty drastic.
In all honesty, I never did. The worst thing the federal government has done
to me is charge me 31% of my income as taxes.
>
>> ><varying definitions of foul>
>> >no, I was thinking of Henry's feats of crapulence
>>
>> Henry didn't become a gross out case until he was an old man.
>
>heard about how the Marquis de Sade shuffled off?
No I didn't. I've always missed that episode of Biography.
>
>> >> >> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
>> >> Marmaduke is a Great Dane who thinks he's a puppy.
>> >
>> >Bunsen *is* a puppy. He's nine months old.
>>
>> He's a teenager.
>
>isn't it 1 human year = 7 dog years?
I always thought that took effect after the dog's turned one.
>
>> <Rohan's got a politician's memory>
>> >but that'd mean the Liberal Party being run by actual liberals
>>
>> They'll stay liberal only until it falls out of fashion.
>
>they're about as conservative as you can get, except economically.
So is it liberal spending in terms of budget overruns for silly things, or is
is the money going toward useful projects?
>
>> <Puppy propulsion.>
>>
>> What a great time to set a shark loose in the water.
>
>I only need one hand to steer him, and I've got the rest of the stash
A personal firearm won't do it, and everything bigger requires two hands.
>
<Fizban had cleric catch up to do, since Tak maintained her church in secret>
>
>I meant that they'd forgotten how to interpret his teachings. I'm sure
>that Takhy's twenty living worshipers were quite high-standard.
Tak had her cult going, but Paladine had to rebuild his Church from scratch.
The Disks of Mishakal appeared to be new stuff to everyone who read them.
>
<Crysania's duties included managing a global church, speaking against poverty
etc, and watching Dalamar>
>
>he's not stupid enough to try and take over Palanthas. Her dealings
>with him are as representative of magic, or she may just go to
>Justarius. And she knows what the big picture longterm issues are,
>being her place to act on them.
Justarius was already dead by DoSF, wasn't he? Besides, to your point, her
scope is bigger than one constituent. If the KoS were not turning into the
KoT, she wasn't going to butt in uninvited.
>
>> >> >> >> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
<what goes up, must come down>
>
>> <Hillary for Aussie PM>
>>
>> Politics always came before marital bliss. Besides, that FALN fiasco may
>> have cost her NY.
>
>all together now: "awwwww"
More like "yeayyyyy"
>
>> ><KoT merger>
>> <The KoS allied with the other nations because they needed to for defense,
>> not because of a faulty Measure>
>>
>> >PLEASE don't insult our intelligence
>>
>> You tend to do that all by your lonesome, snookums.
>
>excuse me while I write bad verse about oblivion and play with a .38
Say hello to Father Chaos for me.
>
>but surely it was obvious they needed to stick together, and the events
>of 2nd Gen are really based on monumental stupidity.
There are lots of things that could have been done differently, but that
assumes military leadership on the order of Augustus Caesar and Alexander.
Most of the leadership in the WotL were veterans of only that conflict, so the
fact that they did not do was seems like common sense to us is not out of place
with reality.
>
>> <Why should other races respect the KoS when humans didn't?>
<The KoS were despised because they functioned on the Istaran model>
>>
>> They got that treatment because the KoS chose to honor the old gods
>> that everyone else despised, and because they failed to stop the
>> Cataclysm. The KoS were getting hit hard because they were NOT
>> following Istarian practices in their worship.
>
>Istar-era. It's like that 300yo 'there is no such crime as rape in
>marriage' case upheld in '93. They were treated with contempt because
>they refused to change.
I agree with your last statement but only to the extent that the "refusal to
change" was related to the KoS continuing to worship the gods. I think
people took their anger out on them simply because the Kingpriest was beyond
their grasp, not because the KoS reflected Istaran practices. The KoS
worshipped Paladine as a god, not an errand boy.
>
>> >EotM was obviously a piece of shit, and obviously they only had the
>> >sales of Rabe's other two books to go on.
>>
>> Literary quality is not indicative of a best seller, just ask Jackie
>Collins. EotM was the finale of a profitable trilogy, and the new guy never
>> tampers with success.
>
>which is why they *cancelled* a book for Bob Salvatore. It is truly a
>book that should never have been published.
I don't know which book this is, but I would bet it wasn't the conclusion of a
trilogy.
>
>> <The knighthood's inability to establish the quorum per the Measure led to
>> Derek gaining control of the KoS>
>>
<Derek played the game better than Nixon, since no one caught him being bad>
>
>of course, that'd be bloody hard. He wouldn't have been such a loose
>cannon if it'd been possible to elect a grand master.
The factions would have still divided along Gunthar vs Derek lines. It was the
conflict about tradition vs reality that caused people to take sides.
<DL Heroes did not stick together to save the world, but to save each other>
>> Laurana's main goal was always Tanis -- leading the army was secondary.
>
>I was under the impression she'd evolved around early DoWN, all that
>time spent with Elistan. She was the Golden General dammit.
Not by choice. She let herself default into it because it gave her a purpose,
and she dropped the responsibilities the minute Kitiara hinted she would return
Tanis.
>
<The next DL generation of fans>
>> >
>> >WHAT? I'd say another fifteen years is pretty optimistic (it's highly
>> >probable I'll leave if WoS is not up to Chronicles standards),
>>
>> You defy categorization and the AFDL population doesn't seem to be
>> representative of the majority of younger fans.
>
>mentioned that before.
It still fits.
>If there's a lot of young readers I'd expect to
>see a lot more of them around here.
We don't know if they're out there and are too intimidated to jump in. I get
emails all the time from new AFDL lurkers who want to know how to avoid being
flamed, and saying you like EotM is like waving a red flag.
>
>> >especially as the line's been in decline for the last ten years or so.
>>
>> The line is rebounding and writing pool overall has improved. It's been
>> the books that have kept DL alive all this time.
>
>life support basically. All because of an inability to move the
>timeline forward and do things properly.
Moving the timeline forward is a problem, but it doesn't seem to be one that
affects the novel readers as much as the gamers. Novel fans tend to jump at
books about Raistlin, for example.
>
>> >I'd say the main body of DL fans *now* are people like me, who got into
>> >roleplaying before major proliferation of alternatives.
>>
>> It's too broad a generalization to make. The novels are always my first
>> choice, and you've got fans like Magneto who couldn't care less about
>> roleplaying. And younger kids seem to like the new covers, since they
>> resemble comic book art.
>
>I got into DL via roleplaying and logically there's no reason I'm not
>pretty average.
You're average for the rpg contingent. But not for those who were looking for
a fantasy fix after Tolkien, or who bought the books because of the Elmore
covers.
>
>> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
>
>East Timor is not part of Indonesia
Not anymore it's not.
>>
>> When does it all make it into a campaign?
>
>this is of course in a game I'm playing in. I'm wondering what the big
>disaster of October will be, as that'll be the next adventure.
So this was a bring your own character game. Doesn't it bother you if a
Narrator makes you do something out of character for a favorite PC?
>
>> >> Bunsen just knows he got a raw deal.
>> >
>> >wasn't my decision mate. Could you let go of my leg?
>>
>> It's Bunsen's turn to do a little invasive surgery.
>
>good thing I've got a M1911 Combat Commander .45 on my belt, plus that
>stash of identical puppies.
The gun's empty, and Bunsen gave the puppies to Spike for his birthday.
>
>> >> What is the law? Pain is the law.
>> >
>> >gee, I so want to legally move where you live
>>
>> Actually, that's from the Island of Dr. Moreau.
>
><rack>
Funny, that's just what Dr. Moreau would do.
>
>> <Comparative injuries>
>>
>> >go after the bastard with a tomahawk? Prioritisation's fair enough.
>>
>> If there's anything left after my lawyer's done.
>
>good point. Get a big fan for all those particles
See, there *are* ways to bloodlessly torture people. The insurance company of
the bastard who caused the accident is begging my lawyer not to go to trial at
this point.
>> <Simon's the Minesweeper God>
>> >
>> >he's nineteen 23/10. And he works in a bottle shop (drinking age is 18
>> >here)
>>
>> The advantage is all for the store owners here. I got paid, but of course
>I spent a portion of my salary at the shop weekly.
>naturally. CrackDonalds has it stiched up here.
It did feel good to spend money without having to ask anyone for it.
What are you getting Simon for his birthday?
<Modern Art by Dr. Lecter>
>>
>> There's a travelling British exhibit in town right now that showcases
>animals sliced in two.
>
>but of course. They're actually quite erotic.
So torching the rat should rate as an aphrodisiac then.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
>> >> I'll let Ricky Martin search for it.
>> >
>> >that does it. He dies.
>>
>> He'll die happy then.
>
>I'm rigorously enforcing Personal Space where he's concerned <click>.
You've got to *unsecrete* the gun first, and for Ricky, that alone will be
bliss.
>
>> >> >the American Bill of Rights....
>>
>> The god of newspapers has affiliates here in the States. I can see Rupert
>> bankrolling the defense in exchange for distribution rights.
>
>of course. But Sword isn't taking him to court.
Rupert's got all sorts of resources. When things are slow storywise, he creates
his own news. "Sword goes Blunt" is going out on the evening edition.
>
>> >> ><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
>> >I never heard of a rat trap that could hold a human (and a human-sized
>> >trap would amputate something, which he'd just graft back on)
>>
>> It'd be cut and burn. It's hard to re-attach ashes.
>
>then he'd just dodge the bloody thing. He literally has a sixth sense
>that warns him of impending danger, and that aside he has professionally
>trained observation skills and a 'perception' ability score which in
>AD&D terms would be 16-17.
Every Bane has his Cyric. All it takes is a better mousetrap.
>
>> ><combat hairties>
>> >> >but I'll be wearing tabi, which use elastic
>> >>
>> >> <snip> Elastic works too.
>> >
>> >and you'll get my shoes off how?
>>
>> Slicing off the foot should do it.
>
>there seems to be a gap in the logical continuity...
Unless you've grafted them to your skin, there should be elastic somewhere
between the knee and the ankle.
>
>> >> >> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
>> ><Sean, entrepreneur>
>> <Satan, toy maker>
>>
>> >Satan is also on the Hasbro board and the architect of the Infringement
>> >Notice system
>>
>> That explains the flattering countenance of Darth Maul.
>
>Satan sent his inflatable doll as a model
No, that was the Amidala prototype.
>
>> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
>>
>> >> >I'm surprised you can stand near the angst pits without fantasising
>> >> >about Baby Spice and a Triad knife
>> >>
>> >> I've turned down the volume to low.
>> >
>> >then you must be nearly deaf. It doesn't go that low.
>>
>> I've got my Walkman with me. Tubthumper's drowning you out.
>
>but Sean's running around in there and he's probably swiped your
>batteries by now
I'll just plug the AC adapter into the nearest neuron and annoy you by playing
Walt Disney's Greatest hits.
>
>> >> >no, this one's delightfully squishy
>> >>
>> >> You're disfiguring the Pilsbury doughboy?
>> >
>> >this one's delightfully female, and somewhere between 16-30.
>>
>> Under 18 is a criminal offense, Koalataur.
>
>so it wouldn't be if I was torturing an adult?
Not if it's consensual and considering the fact there is even an S&M restaurant
called the Nouvelle Justine, I'd say you'd have no lack of playmates.
>
>> >> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
>> >no, the main gnomish weapon system is a gigantic slingshot
>>
>> Then they'd try to load the submarine into the new popcorn popper that
>> debuted in Heroes and Fools.
>
>no, they'd build one the size of Mt Nevermind for the sub
Of course, they'd toss your stuff out and load the thing with popcorn kernels.
>
<Farting on the subway>
>>
>> You can always stick your nose out of a subway grating.
>
>based on that info, do you want to open a train window?
If you insist. But you can always ride between cars.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
>> >on second thoughts, Spike's probably the right size for one of my 12yo
>> >cousins. Which one did I pull for Christmas?
>>
>> Pulling? Your cousins are elastic?
>
>figure of speech, and neither Sally or Eliza would agree with another
>possibility.
Somehow I think the other possibility would annoy your uncle.
>
>> ><hot pussy>
>> <He means electrical fire>
>>
>> >caused by say a fault in a circuit?
>>
>> You get another gold star.
>
>cool. Can I redeem them?
With five, I'll send you that little something you're always asking me to give
to Bunsen.
>
<Let's make the paladin a bigger sterotype than she already is>
>
>nah, she's a blonde paladin with a red cloak and full plate,
>accessorised by a bastard sword.
Well, you can always work in a big "I love you" scene, like in Spartacus, where
the male Greek slave declared his devotion. It's so ambiguous your DM can't
object to it.
>
>> >> He'll have to fight Ricky for you first.
>> >
>> >you'll find the buttcheeks on your doormat
>>
>> I could always pull a Mrs. Lovett and make meat pies. Want a slice?
>
>already eaten. How did the chook turn out and what did you have with
>it?
Fava beans and a nice chianti.
>
>> >> Keep on believing that. You won't feel a thing, I promise.
>> >
>> >somehow I doubt *Sean* is going to let me down, especially when I'm
>> >holding his character sheet
>>
>> <rrriippp> You were. You can always use it for confetti.
>
>you found the old one I see
The new one is lining Vee's box. Do you want it back?
>
>> >> >sounds invasive. Was it Con Air or U.S. Marshals?
>> >>
>> >> Guiliani's citizen committee.
>> >
>> >eww. I was of course referring to the idea of concealing a weapon
>> >actually in flesh
>>
>> And they'll have a positively wonderful time trying to dig it out. For
>your own good, of course.
>
>W
Left you speechlees, eh?
>
>> ><oh shit>
>> >> A likely story. Are you allergic to anesthesia?
>> >
>> >I'm definitely allergic to castration
>> They'll give you an antihistamine before the operation starts.
>
>this is a recorded message
>aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr
Your cousins are pulling on you for a change?
>
>> >> >> >> ><Fanatical male zealots vs young were-infantry>
>> ><Sean wouldn't waste a Madonna?>
>>
>> >> He'd kneel and say a rosary first, and i've got him then.
>> >
>> >he takes a very 'hit 'em back first' approach. Strangely both he
>> >(Belfast) and Sword (Spanish Harlem) are Catholic, and I didn't really
>> >think about it at the time.
>>
>> There are more rules in the Catholic faith than the Measure. That and the
>> "we are all born with original sin" doctrine provides lots of role playing
>> fodder.
>
>of course, Sean can rationalise nearly *anything*, and Sword is somewhat
>old testament.
That's the beauty of having all the rules. One trip to the confessional and
it's all forgiven, on paper anyway.
>
>> >> >> >> <Step up, back down>
>> ><I'm the Ministry of Love>
>>
>> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
>> >you're not very nice
>>
>> He'll go gently, since he's doing me the favor of holding onto your leg as
>> the bomb goes off.
>
>you let him sniff your Semtex vest? How nice. But I doubt I could fit
>that in my pocket.
Pocket? I can see your glasses maybe surviving the initial blast, but pockets
is asking for a lot.
>
>> <Penetrato, the were-mosquito, debuts>
>> >>
>> >> The encephalitus is already progressing as planned ...
>> >
>> >yes, but I'm INVINCIBLE
>>
>> I'd say about as invincible as Hurricane Floyd, which did me the favor of
>> getting me a day off from work and then dissipating into a tropical storm.
>
>er, okay.
You *know* that I am talking about wind and rain, not flesh and blood. The
worst thing the hurricane did was make Vee and Gilbert cranky because they
couldn't go outside.
>
>OOOXXX
XXXOOO
Tolstrup
>
> >my thoughts are that he was trying to turn the place back into
> >phlogiston, which seems chaos incarnate.
>
> Could be. What's not sitting right with me is that the chaos described in
> RotBS is not kinetic, but f a vacuum. But RotBS is not really a book that
> advances the timeline, so it could just be one author's point of view.
sounds like it only peripherally touched on it. Logically there should
be defined canon which all authors stick to, laid down in game material
as that is concerned with the physical properties of the world. Sounds
like Reavers drastically changes the cosmology, which for example held
that the Krynn pantheon stayed there.
> <Chaos is pissed because the kids take after the High God>
> >
> >as in, they evolved, he didn't.
>
> Like I discussed with Frank, maybe Chaos and the High God are just two sides of
> the same coin -- the destructive and creative forces of the Krynnish universe.
then DoSF would have been about *them* duking it out, not Chaos and the
vastly inferior gods.
> <The God of Dentists has to work before he can play>
> >
> >it's a seller's market, otherwise we wouldn't put up with our dentist
> >constantly overbooking
>
> For some reason, we have a lot of good dentists where I live, at least for the
> rudimentary stuff. The oral surgeons are in the sellers' market here.
and how. I find the medical profession's organisational incompetence
and general attitude (like a high-priced dentist who took my wisdom
teeth out) as verging on offensive.
> >hmm. If Pazza's servitors are long-lived rather than immortal, than his
> >deputy could be a somewhat empowered celestial who is senior of his
> >race. Much more powerful than any mortal, but nowhere near a god.
>
> Like the Maiar in Tolkien? That might work -- the worst the Maiar ever did was
> go native, like Melian, or carry out their Masters' wishes too well, like
> Sauron.
now I'm going to have to read LotR, and I prefer my books meaty (which
I've heard Papa Tolkein isn't)
> >> >> ><1984ing minions>
>
> <Dragons and subordinate gods have plotted against Tak, why not minions?>
>
> >they are after all gods, who can survive without Takhy. What if her
> >servitor race depends on her continued existence?
>
> I wonder if she has enough power to do that. Look at the draconians. Tak went
> to the extreme of not breeding females in order to ensure that the dracs died
> out.
the dracs were mass-produced, and they're metallic dragons after all
(Kang doesn't act like an abishai). Her petitioners in Baator will
cease to exist if she does. Logically these servitors are specially
empowered petitioners, proxies who totally rely on her.
> <US plays voting for dollars with the UN>
>
> >of course, applying commercial pressure to TSR to fix DL is somewhat
> >different from blackmailing the UN into sacking its CEO
>
> Yep. Blackmailing the UN tends to work.
if you'll excuse me I've got to strip my M16
> ><South America sounds fun>
> <No one in Argentina will arrest Superman>
> >
> >they saw your camcorder?
>
> I wish I had it. I was carrying my 35m and the guy obligingly gave me the
> classic jumping out of the telephone booth pose. It's a rather neat picture.
you should've made it more interesting, say by seeing if bullets really
bounce off
> >> <Lunch is on Spike>
>
> Pigeons are considered a delicacy in some parts of the world. Spike's just
> showing you how much he cares.
all the same, souvlaki sounds good
> <The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
>
> >that would REALLY hurt. But seeing as it would take some time for the
> >bowel condition to reach critical point, he's enacting the Rite of the
> >Bolthole and getting the hell out
>
> Rat down, human to go.
but by then the two of us have distracted you long enough for Sword to
take the shot. I've slipped him evidence you launder for drug dealers.
Failing that, Kakita Saburon may arrive and carve you good.
> >> >> <Officer Steve Miller, Continuity Cop>
> >> >
> <Steve's too young to be the head of Police Academy>
>
> Zed, the character played by Bobcat Goldthwaite, talks like a cross between a
> kender and an ogre.
give the man some credit...
> >> Does this mean you're contemplating the role of Tackleberry?
> >
> >I'd rather not become typecast. Maybe I should do some Jane Austen
> >adaptations, eg Pride and Extreme Prejudice.
>
> You'd be a perfect Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights.
LotR, Wuthering Heights...
> >> But then it's WotC's fault for letting it pass.
> >
> >yep, and by extension whoever they appointed to make the decision
>
> Steve presented a work for hire and they bought it. That's why I always place
> the blame solely on the company.
I'd say collective responsibility. Somebody can't make a tough, logical
decision, maintain a real database, etc. Is it just me or do their
attempts to 'settle the issue' (TotL, Soulforge, DLC15A) do nothing but
create more controversy?
> <Victoria's gold rush>
> >> I picked up a biography of Wyatt Earp as told by his wife and it actually
> >> turned out to be a fascinating read. I'd imagine Tombstone, AZ and
> >Virginia would have had a lot in common.
> >
> >do you mean Victoria? Sluttia is in America although I've been in DC.
>
> Oops, I did. Confused it with Virginia City. Sluttia's most likely in Nevada,
> where prostitution is legal in some counties.
I meant the state where the CIA, FBI and Marines are set up.
> <Beating the competition>
>
> >> My hero. But then again, you're always looking for practice targets.
> >
> >not ALWAYS. And I just like conversing with the competition
>
> Believe me, this was not competition. That would mean there was something even
> remotely interesting about him.
sounds like somebody I'm competing with then
> >> >> <Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
> >and she'll be regarded as the typical bluerinse Nana by her grandkids...
>
> But disabusing those kinds of notions is what baby sisters are for.
sure they won't treat you as an authority figure? Grandparents are
untouchable to young kids.
> <NYPD: the truth is stranger than fiction>
> >>
> >I got a lot of my info from an inquiry into the force
>
> You spoke to Yoda?
after I'd mulched Yoda, torched what was left and had Sean dump the
ashes into the South Atlantic, I read a book.
> >> <Casinos are a rich man's game that's meant to suck in the poor.>
> >pity he can't afford a shrink
>
> Social services provides one for free.
those'd be the ones who can't get work at schools?
> >> <Henry's wives' obituaries>
> >
> >didn't he buy the fourth one sight unseen and she turned out a cow?
>
> Yep. Holbein painted a flattering portrait of Anne of Cleves and Henry's
> endearing comment when she stepped off the ship was that he'd bought himself a
> Flemish mare.
how many years of bestiality and what happened to her again?
> <There were lots of reasons why Henry's enemies didn't kill him>
> He was disgusting toward the end, but his mind stayed pretty sharp. Having
> ambassadors from Spain and France who were looking for an excuse to go to war
> kept him active.
all those nuns he turfed had to go somewhere
> <Peekaboo, I see you>
> >>
> >> No you can't. How many fingers am I hold up on my right hand?
> >
> >excuse me while I rewind the tape. Remember, I'm reading this three
> >hours after you wrote it.
>
> I'll give you a hint -- it's greater than 0 and less than 6.
my calculator's busted
> >> <Rohan's looking for an alibi>
>
> >> First mantra of the business world -- never get caught solving your own
> >> problems.
> >
> >hence my offer of an alibi. Come on, you know you want to.
>
> You're not offering an alibi, you're asking me to be one. Slight difference
> there.
no, the deal is *you* drop the hammer and I alibi you.
> >> <Cleaning up at WotC>
> >> And what is it that you'd give poor Peter?
> >
> >now there's a thought
>
> You're evading my question.
I don't have any communicable diseases. I can fax you a copy of the
medical certificate. Unfortunately I had to transcribe it by hand.
> >> <The Tolstrup-Brattbakk custody agreement>
> >> All's fair in love and war.
> >
> >aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh
>
> A serenade. How romantic.
silhouetted in the window by the moonlight. How touching.
Bugger, sling came loose.
> <Burning calories>
> >
> >I ride an exercise bike, walk Bunsen and lift a solid steel and wood
> >rifle with my left hand
>
> Just how far do you walk Bunsen? He seems to poop in the house fairly often.
we've got a backyard for that. I'm lazy and walk him maybe nine blocks;
Dad takes him on forty minute walks.
> < Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
>
> >> Snow could just tell the huntsman that she's providing guidance and advice.
> >> He'd be standing outside of the room, after all.
> >
> >but then she'd have to gag 'em, and that's kinky.
>
> As long as the huntsman's not looking it doesn't matter. Kinky's in the eye of
> the beholder.
"those monkeys are killing each other!"
> >> ><Sturm's lack of counsel>
> <Derek had authority over Sturm because of the Icewall expedition>
> But Sturm was a squire, and pretty much had to behave like a pledge at a
> fraternity -- Sturm had to obey all of the upper classmen. And it's the
> Measure that used to legislate authority in the Knighthood.
Sturm wouldn't have said that if Derek had legit authority over him
> >> >> ><Ecstacy, spice of life>
> >> >> Drugs are bad, uhm, okay.
> >> >
> >> >and you believe that?
> >>
> >> Not 100%. Penicillin's good.
> >
> >pseudoephedrine, caffeine and Mylanta
>
> Forgot about caffeine. It gives me the shakes to think about life without a
> Pepsi.
I drink way too much cola
> ><they tarred me age 7?>
> >
> >whuzzat?
>
> In the Omen, Satan's son was named Damien Thorne.
Rectus Dominus
> >> <It's Rohan, not Roman>
> >> >I don't exactly look like a Roman patrician
> >>
> >> Pity. Tiberius' brother Drusus was gorgeous.
> >
> >a Drusus is something you stab people with
>
> Makes sense. He certainly was sharp.
how'd he go down?
> <Rosamun was shunned because she was crazy, not because of her magic.>
>
> <Continuity error between DoWN and the Soulforge>
>
> >> Quick! Somebody call Officer Miller.
> >
> >they'll never take me alive!
>
> I don't think alive entered into his equation.
it's coming right for us!
> >> <Rohan's inconsistent about his DL consistency>
> >I did something right?
>
> It happens now and then.
if you need me I'll be in the toilet checking the cylinder balance of my
.38.
> <Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
> >>
> >> It does explain why Caramon walked around in a fog for the first 20
> >> years of his life.
> >
> >first 28 dear
>
> I gave Raistlin credit for the last 8. Gilon could never have known Caramon
> would try to leave his wife for his brother.
was Gilon ever *around*?
> >I have NSA contacts. And you won't be so adorable by the time I've
> >fixed things.
>
> Disfigurement didn't stop the Venus de Milo from being a work of art.
what about character assassination?
> >> One retriever does not a militia make.
> >
> >*ideology.* I understand where McVeigh came from, although his methods
> >were pretty drastic.
>
> In all honesty, I never did. The worst thing the federal government has done
> to me is charge me 31% of my income as taxes.
liberal democracy is a thing of fantasy; especially the US federal govt
has for over a century been there to be served by the people, not the
other way around. The ultimate statement was Lincoln declaring the
union to be indissoluble. When the democratic process cannot bring
change and government treats normal people with contempt, there's only
one way of being heard.
> >> ><varying definitions of foul>
> >> Henry didn't become a gross out case until he was an old man.
> >
> >heard about how the Marquis de Sade shuffled off?
>
> No I didn't. I've always missed that episode of Biography.
he was in his seventies and it was some orgy of foulness
> >> >> >> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
> >> >Bunsen *is* a puppy. He's nine months old.
> >>
> >> He's a teenager.
> >
> >isn't it 1 human year = 7 dog years?
>
> I always thought that took effect after the dog's turned one.
oh. In any event, we're still feeding him puppy food.
> >> <Rohan's got a politician's memory>
> >they're about as conservative as you can get, except economically.
>
> So is it liberal spending in terms of budget overruns for silly things, or is
> is the money going toward useful projects?
'economic liberalism' - they're economic rationalists who are into
privatisation and the trickle-down effect.
> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
> >>
> >> What a great time to set a shark loose in the water.
> >
> >I only need one hand to steer him, and I've got the rest of the stash
>
> A personal firearm won't do it, and everything bigger requires two hands.
a magnum should be enough, but for argument's sake I can prop the front
end on the back of the boat, or steer with my feet.
> <Fizban had cleric catch up to do, since Tak maintained her church in secret>
> <Crysania's duties included managing a global church, speaking against poverty
> etc, and watching Dalamar>
> >
> >he's not stupid enough to try and take over Palanthas. Her dealings
> >with him are as representative of magic, or she may just go to
> >Justarius. And she knows what the big picture longterm issues are,
> >being her place to act on them.
>
> Justarius was already dead by DoSF, wasn't he? Besides, to your point, her
> scope is bigger than one constituent. If the KoS were not turning into the
> KoT, she wasn't going to butt in uninvited.
it was obviously a world-effecting issue. Certainly she knew it was the
key issue affecting the KoS.
> >> >> >> >> <Engineering lesson: Rohan can't keep it up>
> <what goes up, must come down>
> >
> >> <Hillary for Aussie PM>
> >>
> >> Politics always came before marital bliss. Besides, that FALN fiasco may
> >> have cost her NY.
> >
> >all together now: "awwwww"
>
> More like "yeayyyyy"
and your involvement?
> >> >PLEASE don't insult our intelligence
> >>
> >> You tend to do that all by your lonesome, snookums.
> >
> >excuse me while I write bad verse about oblivion and play with a .38
>
> Say hello to Father Chaos for me.
if he *really* exists I'm going to be pissed off.
> There are lots of things that could have been done differently, but that
> assumes military leadership on the order of Augustus Caesar and Alexander.
> Most of the leadership in the WotL were veterans of only that conflict, so the
> fact that they did not do was seems like common sense to us is not out of place
> with reality.
for me it's the shock value - to the elves it was last week, to the KoS
it was the defining event of their youth. Such an emotional impact
should have been recognised. And the instant restoration of the status
quo was stupid and insulting.
> >> <Why should other races respect the KoS when humans didn't?>
> <The KoS were despised because they functioned on the Istaran model>
> >Istar-era. It's like that 300yo 'there is no such crime as rape in
> >marriage' case upheld in '93. They were treated with contempt because
> >they refused to change.
>
> I agree with your last statement but only to the extent that the "refusal to
> change" was related to the KoS continuing to worship the gods. I think
> people took their anger out on them simply because the Kingpriest was beyond
> their grasp, not because the KoS reflected Istaran practices. The KoS
> worshipped Paladine as a god, not an errand boy.
why the hell did they end up so static?
> >> Literary quality is not indicative of a best seller, just ask Jackie
> >Collins. EotM was the finale of a profitable trilogy, and the new guy never
> >> tampers with success.
> >
> >which is why they *cancelled* a book for Bob Salvatore. It is truly a
> >book that should never have been published.
>
> I don't know which book this is, but I would bet it wasn't the conclusion of a
> trilogy.
I meant EotM. Silent Blade was actually okay and compensated for some
of the damage of Passage to Dawn.
> <Derek played the game better than Nixon, since no one caught him being bad>
> >
> >of course, that'd be bloody hard. He wouldn't have been such a loose
> >cannon if it'd been possible to elect a grand master.
>
> The factions would have still divided along Gunthar vs Derek lines. It was the
> conflict about tradition vs reality that caused people to take sides.
a compromise candidate would've gotten in, and even he would have been
able to keep a leash on Derek's wilder rampages.
> <DL Heroes did not stick together to save the world, but to save each other>
>
> >> Laurana's main goal was always Tanis -- leading the army was secondary.
> >
> >I was under the impression she'd evolved around early DoWN, all that
> >time spent with Elistan. She was the Golden General dammit.
>
> Not by choice. She let herself default into it because it gave her a purpose,
> and she dropped the responsibilities the minute Kitiara hinted she would return
> Tanis.
she'd done her job, which was the Vingaard Campaign. Ce'Nedra she
wasn't. She always came across as the initially lovesick elven princess
who grew into learning and then enacting the philosophy of good. Her
time with Elistan, the speech at Sturm's bier, her victory at Vingaard
(and she was a major tactician in her own right) and her postwar role
all fit with this.
> <The next DL generation of fans>
> >If there's a lot of young readers I'd expect to
> >see a lot more of them around here.
>
> We don't know if they're out there and are too intimidated to jump in. I get
> emails all the time from new AFDL lurkers who want to know how to avoid being
> flamed, and saying you like EotM is like waving a red flag.
well, as liking EotM indicates totally warped and potentially mutated
pleasure centres...
in any event, even if we scare a few off there should be a lot more.
> >life support basically. All because of an inability to move the
> >timeline forward and do things properly.
>
> Moving the timeline forward is a problem, but it doesn't seem to be one that
> affects the novel readers as much as the gamers. Novel fans tend to jump at
> books about Raistlin, for example.
am I to believe that nobody cares if the world has no internal logic or
consistency and REEKS of cheese?
> >I got into DL via roleplaying and logically there's no reason I'm not
> >pretty average.
>
> You're average for the rpg contingent. But not for those who were looking for
> a fantasy fix after Tolkien, or who bought the books because of the Elmore
> covers.
then I'm also average of people who can read and think simultaneously
> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
> >
> >East Timor is not part of Indonesia
>
> Not anymore it's not.
*assuming* those bastards get around to voting on the issue and actually
ratify it.
> >this is of course in a game I'm playing in. I'm wondering what the big
> >disaster of October will be, as that'll be the next adventure.
>
> So this was a bring your own character game. Doesn't it bother you if a
> Narrator makes you do something out of character for a favorite PC?
whuh? It's a standard roleplaying game. Sword and his teammates have
been sent in to secure the UN compound (and help the 4 unarmed civilians
there), round up some refugees and hold the place until the cavalry
arrives. AFAIK IRL the compound no longer exists.
> >> It's Bunsen's turn to do a little invasive surgery.
> >
> >good thing I've got a M1911 Combat Commander .45 on my belt, plus that
> >stash of identical puppies.
>
> The gun's empty, and Bunsen gave the puppies to Spike for his birthday.
dare I ask how you managed to unload the firearm in question? And
Bunsen IV doesn't know where I've stashed the puppies.
> >> >> What is the law? Pain is the law.
> >> >
> >> >gee, I so want to legally move where you live
> >>
> >> Actually, that's from the Island of Dr. Moreau.
> >
> ><rack>
>
> Funny, that's just what Dr. Moreau would do.
he sounds seriously troubled
> >> <Comparative injuries>
> >>
> >> >go after the bastard with a tomahawk? Prioritisation's fair enough.
> >>
> >> If there's anything left after my lawyer's done.
> >
> >good point. Get a big fan for all those particles
>
> See, there *are* ways to bloodlessly torture people. The insurance company of
> the bastard who caused the accident is begging my lawyer not to go to trial at
> this point.
another way is flyspray and a lighter. No blood.
> >> <Simon's the Minesweeper God>
> >> The advantage is all for the store owners here. I got paid, but of course
> >I spent a portion of my salary at the shop weekly.
>
> >naturally. CrackDonalds has it stiched up here.
>
> It did feel good to spend money without having to ask anyone for it.
> What are you getting Simon for his birthday?
good question. Last time I gave him some vodka (he was stocking up for
Schoolies' Week). Maybe some weapons-grade plutonium.
> <Modern Art by Dr. Lecter>
> >>
> >> There's a travelling British exhibit in town right now that showcases
> >animals sliced in two.
> >
> >but of course. They're actually quite erotic.
>
> So torching the rat should rate as an aphrodisiac then.
Sean's out of bounds and ran when he saw you coming
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><leave a light on for me>
> >I'm rigorously enforcing Personal Space where he's concerned <click>.
>
> You've got to *unsecrete* the gun first, and for Ricky, that alone will be
> bliss.
that was my holdout. I do of course carry something a lot more
accessible. And I'm sure he has a policy for those who call him a poof.
> >> >> >the American Bill of Rights....
> >>
> >> The god of newspapers has affiliates here in the States. I can see Rupert
> >> bankrolling the defense in exchange for distribution rights.
> >
> >of course. But Sword isn't taking him to court.
>
> Rupert's got all sorts of resources. When things are slow storywise, he creates
> his own news. "Sword goes Blunt" is going out on the evening edition.
nobody's in any danger of even finding out what Sword looks like.
> >> >> ><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
> >> It'd be cut and burn. It's hard to re-attach ashes.
> >
> >then he'd just dodge the bloody thing. He literally has a sixth sense
> >that warns him of impending danger, and that aside he has professionally
> >trained observation skills and a 'perception' ability score which in
> >AD&D terms would be 16-17.
>
> Every Bane has his Cyric. All it takes is a better mousetrap.
Bane was taken out by Torm. Bhaal was just overconfident.
> >> ><combat hairties>
> >> Slicing off the foot should do it.
> >
> >there seems to be a gap in the logical continuity...
>
> Unless you've grafted them to your skin, there should be elastic somewhere
> between the knee and the ankle.
but wasn't the point that I couldn't grab you off your balcony?
> >> >> >> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
> >> ><Sean, entrepreneur>
> >> <Satan, toy maker>
> >> That explains the flattering countenance of Darth Maul.
> >
> >Satan sent his inflatable doll as a model
>
> No, that was the Amidala prototype.
Jedi mind trick all right.
> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
> >> I've got my Walkman with me. Tubthumper's drowning you out.
> >
> >but Sean's running around in there and he's probably swiped your
> >batteries by now
>
> I'll just plug the AC adapter into the nearest neuron and annoy you by playing
> Walt Disney's Greatest hits.
What can I give you to make it stop?
> >> >this one's delightfully female, and somewhere between 16-30.
> >>
> >> Under 18 is a criminal offense, Koalataur.
> >
> >so it wouldn't be if I was torturing an adult?
>
> Not if it's consensual and considering the fact there is even an S&M restaurant
> called the Nouvelle Justine, I'd say you'd have no lack of playmates.
yeah, but it's more fun in a 'honey, I'm home' context
> >> >> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
<the bloody Boojum>
> >no, they'd build one the size of Mt Nevermind for the sub
>
> Of course, they'd toss your stuff out and load the thing with popcorn kernels.
I'm going to have to read that story as well
> <Farting on the subway>
> >>
> >> You can always stick your nose out of a subway grating.
> >
> >based on that info, do you want to open a train window?
>
> If you insist. But you can always ride between cars.
all the better for me to hitch a lift
> >> >> >> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
> >> Pulling? Your cousins are elastic?
> >
> >figure of speech, and neither Sally or Eliza would agree with another
> >possibility.
>
> Somehow I think the other possibility would annoy your uncle.
let's not go there.....<retch>
> >> ><hot pussy>
<she's not an arsonist, honest>
> >> You get another gold star.
> >
> >cool. Can I redeem them?
>
> With five, I'll send you that little something you're always asking me to give
> to Bunsen.
we'd probably better get specific then. Unless you're paying postage.
> <Let's make the paladin a bigger sterotype than she already is>
> >
> >nah, she's a blonde paladin with a red cloak and full plate,
> >accessorised by a bastard sword.
>
> Well, you can always work in a big "I love you" scene, like in Spartacus, where
> the male Greek slave declared his devotion. It's so ambiguous your DM can't
> object to it.
as soon as I can get a better game (preferably one of my own) I'm going
to it. I could give a shit.
> >already eaten. How did the chook turn out and what did you have with
> >it?
>
> Fava beans and a nice chianti.
bear in mind you cooked it over the angst pits
> >you found the old one I see
>
> The new one is lining Vee's box. Do you want it back?
the miracles of backups and a database. It's also relatively easy to
remember WoD stats.
> >> And they'll have a positively wonderful time trying to dig it out. For
> >your own good, of course.
> >
> >W
>
> Left you speechlees, eh?
no, just concise
> >> ><oh shit>
> >this is a recorded message
> >aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr
>
> Your cousins are pulling on you for a change?
no, I'm scuttling out of the room screaming
<why do I keep playing Catholics?>
> >of course, Sean can rationalise nearly *anything*, and Sword is somewhat
> >old testament.
>
> That's the beauty of having all the rules. One trip to the confessional and
> it's all forgiven, on paper anyway.
Sword's a bit less forgiving than that, and Sean is able to justify
dealing drugs and guns at school.
> >> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
> >you let him sniff your Semtex vest? How nice. But I doubt I could fit
> >that in my pocket.
>
> Pocket? I can see your glasses maybe surviving the initial blast, but pockets
> is asking for a lot.
well, I needed something for Bunsen to sniff, but I specified portable
> >> <Penetrato, the were-mosquito, debuts>
>
> You *know* that I am talking about wind and rain, not flesh and blood. The
> worst thing the hurricane did was make Vee and Gilbert cranky because they
> couldn't go outside.
did you follow Dogbert's advice and make a home video? Was it
interesting?
> XXXOOO
mmm. Did I mention my joints occasionally lock up when I'm stressed?
Incidentally, today's state election day, although I live in safe govt
seats in both houses and nobody gives the opposition a snowball's chance
in hell of winning. Democracy in action.
Rohan Tolstrup
"I waste him with my longbow!!" - Sara Felton goes postal
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> >> <If Chaos obliviates everything, isn't he dooming himself?>
>> What's not sitting right with me is that the chaos described in
>> RotBS is not kinetic, but f a vacuum.
>
>sounds like it only peripherally touched on it. Logically there should
>be defined canon which all authors stick to, laid down in game material
>as that is concerned with the physical properties of the world.
I'd hate for gaming to define the canon as something rigid for the novels to
follow. For example, lots of people in the world today have different creation
myths. Novels that wrote about the elven creation myth and the human
creation myth as distinct would not bother me so much. Sloppy editing and
timeline gaffs are much more objectionanble, IMHO.
>Sounds like Reavers drastically changes the cosmology, which for example
>held that the Krynn pantheon stayed there.
It could be that Krynn exists in several different dimensions, or that the
gods must maintain a presence in each alternate future. In Silver Hearts,
the Missing City is populated by ghost-like beings who go about their
lives without realizing that they are visible to the real inhabitants of Krynn.
>
<Chaos and the High God represent destruction and creation>
>then DoSF would have been about *them* duking it out, not Chaos and the
>vastly inferior gods.
We don't know if that would have been next. Chaos wanted to punish the
kiddies first.
>
<Oral surgeons are rip off artists in more ways than one>
>
>and how. I find the medical profession's organisational incompetence
>and general attitude (like a high-priced dentist who took my wisdom
>teeth out) as verging on offensive.
When what I thought were my first two wisdom teeth grew in, I went to
an oral surgeon because they were causing me unbelievable pain. It turned
out that my jaw was too small for wisdom teeth, so two of them had grown
in sideways and were buried in my gums.
Of course, he tried to convince me to yank all four, even though only two were
causing the problem.
>
<A Krynnish minion might resemble a Middle Earth Maiar>
>
>now I'm going to have to read LotR, and I prefer my books meaty (which
>I've heard Papa Tolkein isn't)
It's incredibly meaty in an allegorical sense, and it's a very detailed world,
but it is not the action fest that DL is.
>
>> >> >> ><1984ing minions>
>>
<Is Takhy powerful enough to create her own servitor race?>
>
>the dracs were mass-produced, and they're metallic dragons after all
>(Kang doesn't act like an abishai). Her petitioners in Baator will
>cease to exist if she does. Logically these servitors are specially
>empowered petitioners, proxies who totally rely on her.
I am not up on Baator, but won't it take more of her power to keep such
a minion active outside of Baator, unless she encases it in a mortal body
like the dracs? And giving it corporeal form makes it vulnerable.
>
<The difference between TSR and UN is that blackmailing the UN works>
>if you'll excuse me I've got to strip my M16
Boutros-Ghali has been punished enough.
>
>> ><South America sounds fun>
>> <No one in Argentina will arrest Superman>
>>
>> I was carrying my 35m and the guy obligingly gave me the classic
>> jumping out of the telephone booth pose. It's a rather neat picture.
>
>you should've made it more interesting, say by seeing if bullets really
>bounce off
There *were* 10 paramilitary cops around, you know.
>
>> >> <Lunch is on Spike>
>>
>> Pigeons are considered a delicacy in some parts of the world. Spike's just
>> showing you how much he cares.
>
>all the same, souvlaki sounds good
Depends on where you buy it. Some souvlaki joints make pigeons seem like
a pleasant alternatives.
>
>> <The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
>>
>> Rat down, human to go.
>
>but by then the two of us have distracted you long enough for Sword to
>take the shot. I've slipped him evidence you launder for drug dealers.
>Failing that, Kakita Saburon may arrive and carve you good.
Once Sword finds out that the rat was marked for death because he
drugged and tried to pick up jailbait, he'll be whistling my tune soon
enough.
>
<Police Academy: The New Class>
>> Zed, the character played by Bobcat Goldthwaite, talks like a cross between
>a kender and an ogre.
>
>give the man some credit...
I do, whenever I can understand what the hell he's saying.
>
<Rohan declined the role of Tackleberry in the sequel>
>>
>> You'd be a perfect Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights.
>
>LotR, Wuthering Heights...
What? A possession of the British crown that doesn't teach the Brontes?
>
<WotC is responsible for approving continuity lapses>
>
>I'd say collective responsibility. Somebody can't make a tough, logical
>decision, maintain a real database, etc. Is it just me or do their
>attempts to 'settle the issue' (TotL, Soulforge, DLC15A) do nothing but
>create more controversy?
I don't know how much time has passed since WotC acquired TSR, but if
Peter bought with the intention of selling in the future, then it would explain
why he wouldn't pour money into a database project, or continue a cash flow
draining product like SAGA.
>
>> <Victoria's gold rush>
>> Oops, I did. Confused it with Virginia City. Sluttia's most likely in
>Nevada, where prostitution is legal in some counties.
>
>I meant the state where the CIA, FBI and Marines are set up.
Quantaco is in Maine, I think.
>
>> <Beating the competition>
>>
>> >> My hero. But then again, you're always looking for practice targets.
>> >
>> >not ALWAYS. And I just like conversing with the competition
>>
>> Believe me, this was not competition. That would mean there was
>> something even remotely interesting about him.
>
>sounds like somebody I'm competing with then
Well, who am I to disagree?
>
>> >> >> <Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
>> >and she'll be regarded as the typical bluerinse Nana by her grandkids...
>>
>> But disabusing those kinds of notions is what baby sisters are for.
>
>sure they won't treat you as an authority figure? Grandparents are
>untouchable to young kids.
Not when their parents play along with me.
>
>> <NYPD: the truth is stranger than fiction>
>> >>
>> >I got a lot of my info from an inquiry into the force
>>
>> You spoke to Yoda?
>
>after I'd mulched Yoda, torched what was left and had Sean dump the
>ashes into the South Atlantic, I read a book.
Full of anger you are yes, hmmm. You're in trouble now. Old Jedi Masters
never die, they just rest up for sequels.
>
>> >> <Casinos are a rich man's game that's meant to suck in the poor.>
>> >pity he can't afford a shrink
>>
>> Social services provides one for free.
>
>those'd be the ones who can't get work at schools?
Not all of them. The government does have a vested interest in getting
people out of social services, since it pays for the counseling.
>
>> >> <Henry's wives' obituaries>
>> >
<Henry VIII's pet name for his fourth wife was the Flemish mare.>
>
>how many years of bestiality and what happened to her again?
Don't remember exactly, but it had to be less than 2, because rumor has
it that the marraige was never consummated because Anne had body
odor. She didn't make waves when Henry divorced her so gave her a
mansion, servants, and a yearly income.
>
>> <There were lots of reasons why Henry's enemies didn't kill him>
>all those nuns he turfed had to go somewhere
That Calais border came in handy. And since some nuns didn't want to
go to the convent in the first place, they probably jumped at a chance
to get back into the marriage pool.
>
>> <Peekaboo, I see you>
>> >>
>> >> No you can't. How many fingers am I hold up on my right hand?
>> >
>> >excuse me while I rewind the tape. Remember, I'm reading this three
>> >hours after you wrote it.
>>
>> I'll give you a hint -- it's greater than 0 and less than 6.
>
>my calculator's busted
Slide one abacus bead to the right.
>
>> >> <Rohan's looking for an alibi>
>> You're not offering an alibi, you're asking me to be one. Slight
>difference there.
>
>no, the deal is *you* drop the hammer and I alibi you.
That's not a deal, that's a suicide pact. And I'm the one who enjoys life,
remember?
>
>> >> <Cleaning up at WotC>
>
>I don't have any communicable diseases. I can fax you a copy of the
>medical certificate. Unfortunately I had to transcribe it by hand.
I'm sure Peter will be relieved.
>
<Australian ballad>
>> >aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh
>>
>> A serenade. How romantic.
>
>silhouetted in the window by the moonlight. How touching.
>Bugger, sling came loose.
Bunsen gnaws more than just doormats.
>
>> <Burning calories>
>> Just how far do you walk Bunsen? He seems to poop in the house
>> fairly often.
>
>we've got a backyard for that. I'm lazy and walk him maybe nine blocks;
>Dad takes him on forty minute walks.
Your grass must be industrial strength with all that fertilizer.
The great thing about cats is that they walk themselves.
>
>> < Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
>>
>> As long as the huntsman's not looking it doesn't matter. Kinky's in the
>eye of the beholder.
>
>"those monkeys are killing each other!"
The huntsman would not build a peephole. He's more of a Knight than
Sturm in that respect.
>
>> >> ><Sturm's lack of counsel>
>> <Derek had authority over Sturm because of the Icewall expedition>
>
>Sturm wouldn't have said that if Derek had legit authority over him
Sturm was caught between a rock and a hard place and may have said that
out of frustration. He had no rights as knight, but was being charged with
transgressions against the Measure. Besides, while Sturm may believe
Derek had no authority over him, if Sturm still considered himself a squire
then Derek was his commander.
>
<We both drink too much cola probably because we don't drink booze>
>
>> ><they tarred me age 7?>
>> In the Omen, Satan's son was named Damien Thorne.
>
>Rectus Dominus
I see you know each other.
>
>> >> <It's Rohan, not Roman>
>> >> >I don't exactly look like a Roman patrician
>> >>
>> >> Pity. Tiberius' brother Drusus was gorgeous.
>> >
>> >a Drusus is something you stab people with
>>
>> Makes sense. He certainly was sharp.
>
>how'd he go down?
Poisoned by his mother Livia because he wanted to restore the Republic
and Augustus favored him over his brother Tiberius.
It was rumored that Drusus was Augustus' biological son. Augustus
threatened to kill Livia's husband if he didn't divorce her and ordered him
to be the best man at his wife's remarriage. Livia was pregnant with Drusus
at the time.
>
>> <Continuity error between DoWN and the Soulforge>
>>
>> >> Quick! Somebody call Officer Miller.
>> >
>> >they'll never take me alive!
>>
>> I don't think alive entered into his equation.
>
>it's coming right for us!
Steve's bringing Stan! and an armored tank?
>
>> >> <Rohan's inconsistent about his DL consistency>
>> >I did something right?
>>
>> It happens now and then.
>
>if you need me I'll be in the toilet checking the cylinder balance
> of my .38.
You should stand in the tub when doing that. It'll be less messy if
there is an accident.
>
>> <Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
>> >>
>> >> It does explain why Caramon walked around in a fog for the first 20
>> >> years of his life.
>> >
>> >first 28 dear
>>
>> I gave Raistlin credit for the last 8. Gilon could never have known
>Caramon would try to leave his wife for his brother.
>
>was Gilon ever *around*?
Too afraid of Kit, most likely. But Caramon probably helped with the
wood chopping now and again.
>
>> >I have NSA contacts. And you won't be so adorable by the time I've
>> >fixed things.
>>
>> Disfigurement didn't stop the Venus de Milo from being a work of art.
>
>what about character assassination?
My character has a 19 Constitution score.
>
<The worst thing the US gov't did to Altarielle was raise her taxes>
>
<The US government expects people to serve it, not the other way around>
The militia types are not representative of the will of the majority, so they
are also serving themselves and not the people. Having seen the poverty
of the third world and several banana republics, I may think my taxes are
high, but I am very pleased with the freedom I have to live my life my way.
>
>> >> ><varying definitions of foul>
>> >> Henry didn't become a gross out case until he was an old man.
>> >
>> >heard about how the Marquis de Sade shuffled off?
>>
>> No I didn't. I've always missed that episode of Biography.
>
>he was in his seventies and it was some orgy of foulness
Henry was allegedly impotent towards the end, so he couldn't go
out in a blaze of orgy even if he wanted to.
>
>> >> >> >> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
<Bunsen's more of a teenager than a puppy>
>
>oh. In any event, we're still feeding him puppy food.
He is still growing so that's not a mistake.
>
>> >> <Rohan's got a politician's memory>
>> So is it liberal spending in terms of budget overruns for silly things, or
>is the money going toward useful projects?
>'economic liberalism' - they're economic rationalists who are into
>privatisation and the trickle-down effect.
Privatization is not bad for certain industries. When your government is
not bankrolling you, a firm has to run lean and be creative.
>
>> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
>> >>
>> >> What a great time to set a shark loose in the water.
>> >
>> >I only need one hand to steer him, and I've got the rest of the stash
>>
>> A personal firearm won't do it, and everything bigger requires two hands.
>
>a magnum should be enough, but for argument's sake I can prop the front
>end on the back of the boat, or steer with my feet.
All it takes is one bite and the puppy propulsion system is gone, along with
your feet.
>
>> <Fizban had cleric catch up to do, since Tak maintained her church in
>secret>
>
>> <Crysania's duties included managing a global church, speaking against
>poverty etc, and watching Dalamar>
>> >
<Crysania would focus on the big picture because Dalamar doesn't care about
Palanthas>
>>
>> Justarius was already dead by DoSF, wasn't he? Besides, to your point, her
>> scope is bigger than one constituent. If the KoS were not turning into the
>> KoT, she wasn't going to butt in uninvited.
>
>it was obviously a world-effecting issue. Certainly she knew it was the
>key issue affecting the KoS.
Was it? Or would Crysania worry more about the affect of the abandonment
by Paladine on the knight's morale? The leaving of the gods makes Sturm's
sacrifice seem like a waste, and that would shake Sturm's fan club a lot
more than changing the Measure.
>
>> >> <Hillary for Aussie PM>
>> >>
>> >> Politics always came before marital bliss. Besides, that FALN fiasco
>may have cost her NY.
>> >
>> >all together now: "awwwww"
>>
>> More like "yeayyyyy"
>
>and your involvement?
Restricted to the voting booth, unless Hil and I become neighbors. And she
really should avoid NY now that Monica's moved here too.
>> >excuse me while I write bad verse about oblivion and play with a .38
>>
>> Say hello to Father Chaos for me.
>
>if he *really* exists I'm going to be pissed off.
Why? Because this might mean Zinfab is actually Paladine? Who's
the continuity officer in charge when the book doesn't deal with DL?
>
<The WotL was not led by military geniuses like Alexander the Great,
so a return to a recognizable legal structure like the Measure made sense.>
>
>for me it's the shock value - to the elves it was last week, to the KoS
>it was the defining event of their youth. Such an emotional impact
>should have been recognised. And the instant restoration of the status
>quo was stupid and insulting.
Memory is a tricky thing -- the "old days" were probably remembered as a
rosy time where Sturm dragged the KoS out of disreputable obscurity. It
was a time to build upon success, not reconstruct the order. And DL elves
are always portrayed as needing years to decide something because of their
long lives. A "last week" reaction would indicate a need for patience, not
immediate change.
>
>> >> <Why should other races respect the KoS when humans didn't?>
>>
<The KoS were despised because they followed Istaran practices>
<The KoS did not follow Istaran practices because they worshipped
Paladine with respect>
>
>why the hell did they end up so static?
Because they'd lost the guidance of their god and their High Clerist.
All that moving around to avoid being stoned to death could not have
helped, either.
>
<Literary quality is not synonymous with best seller>
>
>I meant EotM. Silent Blade was actually okay and compensated for some
>of the damage of Passage to Dawn.
I hesitate to get the new book about Wulfgar, but I like keeping up to date
on the timeline. Passage to Dawn was just silly, but I wasn't overwhelmed
by the Silent Blade either. Buying "Passage to Dawn" was the first time a
bookseller actually advised me against purchasing a book.
>
>> <Derek played the game better than Nixon, since no one caught him
being bad>
>> The factions would have still divided along Gunthar vs Derek lines. It was
>the conflict about tradition vs reality that caused people to take sides.
>
>a compromise candidate would've gotten in, and even he would have been
>able to keep a leash on Derek's wilder rampages.
Perhaps. He could have also split Gunthar's followers down the middle, and
given Derek a clear shot at taking over the knighthood before the battle at
the High Clerist's tower.
>
<Laurana's main goal was always Tanis -- leading the army was
secondary.>
>> >
>> >I was under the impression she'd evolved around early DoWN, all that
>> >time spent with Elistan. She was the Golden General dammit.
>>
>> Not by choice. She let herself default into it because it gave her a
>purpose, and she dropped the responsibilities the minute Kitiara hinted
>she would return Tanis.
>
>she'd done her job, which was the Vingaard Campaign. Ce'Nedra she
>wasn't. She always came across as the initially lovesick elven princess
>who grew into learning and then enacting the philosophy of good.
Laurana both smarter and more selfless than Ce'Nedra, who still has maturity
issues as the Queen of Riva and has become a Dryad baby machine. But
Laurana wasn't fighting for her homeland or because of her faith in Elistan.
Lauran used the army as her personal French foreign legion.
>Her time with Elistan, the speech at Sturm's bier, her victory at Vingaard
> (and she was a major tactician in her own right) and her postwar
>role all fit with this.
She stayed with Sturm because he needed her, and part of her wanted to
carry on as the Golden General because Laurana didn't want Sturm's
sacrifice to have been for nothing. Her dislike of being paraded as the
Golden General after the war shows that once she got Tanis back, being
a military leader was something she could live without.
>
>> <The next DL generation of fans>
<We don't see a lot of EotM and under twenty fans in AFDL because
they're afraid of the flames>
>
>well, as liking EotM indicates totally warped and potentially mutated
>pleasure centres...
>in any event, even if we scare a few off there should be a lot more.
And they're probably out there lurking. If you look at the mailing list,
you'd think they never had anyone posting besides Matt Lynch and some
others. But 408 people are enrolled.
>
<The timeline inertia bothers gamers more than novel fans>
>
>am I to believe that nobody cares if the world has no internal logic or
>consistency and REEKS of cheese?
Nope. Just that its importance varies depending on what type of DL fan
you are.
>
>> >I got into DL via roleplaying and logically there's no reason I'm not
>> >pretty average.
>>
>> You're average for the rpg contingent. But not for those who were looking
>for a fantasy fix after Tolkien, or who bought the books because of the
>Elmore covers.
>
>then I'm also average of people who can read and think simultaneously
Timelines and such matter more to gamers because they're building
campaigns and can't have history shifting under their feet. Someone
who wants to read a good story might get annoyed that Paladine is
referred to as a gold dragon but shrug it off if the rest of the novel's good.
>
>> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
>> >this is of course in a game I'm playing in. I'm wondering what the big
>> >disaster of October will be, as that'll be the next adventure.
>>
>> So this was a bring your own character game. Doesn't it bother you if a
>> Narrator makes you do something out of character for a favorite PC?
>
>whuh? It's a standard roleplaying game. Sword and his teammates have
>been sent in to secure the UN compound (and help the 4 unarmed civilians
>there), round up some refugees and hold the place until the cavalry
>arrives. AFAIK IRL the compound no longer exists.
When I still gamed on a regular basis, I had characters created for me in
some campaigns, and brought my own into other mid level ones. I did the
latter only with my favorite DM because he would never ask my PC to act
out of character.
>
>> >> It's Bunsen's turn to do a little invasive surgery.
>> >
>> >good thing I've got a M1911 Combat Commander .45 on my belt, plus that
>> >stash of identical puppies.
>>
>> The gun's empty, and Bunsen gave the puppies to Spike for his birthday.
>
>dare I ask how you managed to unload the firearm in question? And
>Bunsen IV doesn't know where I've stashed the puppies.
Anybody seen Morten lately?
>
>> >> >> What is the law? Pain is the law.
>> >> >
>> >> >gee, I so want to legally move where you live
>> >>
>> >> Actually, that's from the Island of Dr. Moreau.
>> >
>> ><rack>
>>
>> Funny, that's just what Dr. Moreau would do.
>
>he sounds seriously troubled
He shared your interest in recontructing humans.
>
>> >> <Comparative injuries>
<My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
>
>another way is flyspray and a lighter. No blood.
But there could be witnesses.
>
>> >> <Simon's the Minesweeper God>
>> It did feel good to spend money without having to ask anyone for it.
>> What are you getting Simon for his birthday?
>
>good question. Last time I gave him some vodka (he was stocking up for
>Schoolies' Week). Maybe some weapons-grade plutonium.
But I thought he was not the one interested in overthrowing the government.
>
>> <Modern Art by Dr. Lecter>
>> >>
>> >> There's a travelling British exhibit in town right now that showcases
>> >animals sliced in two.
>> >
>> >but of course. They're actually quite erotic.
>>
>> So torching the rat should rate as an aphrodisiac then.
>
>Sean's out of bounds and ran when he saw you coming
He's best left to Vee anyway.
>
<Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
>> You've got to *unsecrete* the gun first, and for Ricky, that alone will be
>> bliss.
>
>that was my holdout. I do of course carry something a lot more
>accessible. And I'm sure he has a policy for those who call him a poof.
His policy reads: Que esta haciendo este Sabado, muchacho?
>
<Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
>
>nobody's in any danger of even finding out what Sword looks like.
That's what Salman Rushdie's publisher first thought too.
>
>> >> >> ><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
<Building the better mousetrap>
>>
>> Every Bane has his Cyric. All it takes is a better mousetrap.
>
>Bane was taken out by Torm. Bhaal was just overconfident.
But Bane never saw the day he'd lose his portfolio to a mortal. The
rat's got a whisker shaving coming.
>
>> >> ><combat hairties>
>> >> Slicing off the foot should do it.
>> >
>> >there seems to be a gap in the logical continuity...
>>
>> Unless you've grafted them to your skin, there should be elastic somewhere
>> between the knee and the ankle.
>
>but wasn't the point that I couldn't grab you off your balcony?
If I were on a balcony, yes. But it was a porch, remember?
>
>> >> >> >> <Winning the Nobel Peace Prize? Go for the easy stuff first>
>> >> ><Sean, entrepreneur>
>> >> <Satan, toy maker>
>> >> That explains the flattering countenance of Darth Maul.
>> >
>> >Satan sent his inflatable doll as a model
>>
>> No, that was the Amidala prototype.
>
>Jedi mind trick all right.
It's not working. She didn't sell, and with the acquisition of WotC, my
stock's down a full point.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
>> I'll just plug the AC adapter into the nearest neuron and annoy you by
>playing Walt Disney's Greatest hits.
>
>What can I give you to make it stop?
Your immortal soul might be a start. And some begging wouldn't hurt.
>>
<There are lots of S&M playmates out there>
>
>yeah, but it's more fun in a 'honey, I'm home' context
That's probably the reason Lucy and Ricky slept in different beds.
>
>> >> >> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
><the bloody Boojum>
>> >no, they'd build one the size of Mt Nevermind for the sub
>>
>> Of course, they'd toss your stuff out and load the thing with popcorn
>kernels.
>
>I'm going to have to read that story as well
That one is somewhat slow going, so good luck.
>
>> <Farting on the subway>
>> >>
>> >> You can always stick your nose out of a subway grating.
>> >
>> >based on that info, do you want to open a train window?
>>
>> If you insist. But you can always ride between cars.
>
>all the better for me to hitch a lift
It's quite a rush. I've only seen one person fall off, and she was a suicide.
They kept us all in the train for three hours as they tried to get her out.
If anyone is still reading this, don't try that at home.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><Bunsen, wardrobe>
>> >> Pulling? Your cousins are elastic?
>> >
>> >figure of speech, and neither Sally or Eliza would agree with another
>> >possibility.
>>
>> Somehow I think the other possibility would annoy your uncle.
>
>let's not go there.....<retch>
You've splattered some on your glasses. I agree, BTW, since I'd have to
take your uncle's side on that one.
>
>> >> ><hot pussy>
<he means my fireproof cat>
><she's not an arsonist, honest>
>> >> You get another gold star.
>> >
>> >cool. Can I redeem them?
>>
>> With five, I'll send you that little something you're always asking me to
>give to Bunsen.
>
>we'd probably better get specific then. Unless you're paying postage.
I'd gladly pay the postage, since it will be the the biggest blast the pup
will have in his short, sweet life.
>
>> <Let's make the paladin a bigger sterotype than she already is>
>> >
>> >nah, she's a blonde paladin with a red cloak and full plate,
>> >accessorised by a bastard sword.
>>
<You can always incorporate a little "Spartacus" into the paladin>
>
>as soon as I can get a better game (preferably one of my own) I'm going
>to it. I could give a shit.
Why don't you guys just take turns? It'd be fairer then. Or is it a policy of
your gaming club that you're following?
>
>> > How did the chook turn out and what did you have with it?
>>
>> Fava beans and a nice chianti.
>
>bear in mind you cooked it over the angst pits
I know. It gave the chicken a curry-like taste.
>
<Disposing of Sword's character sheet>
>>
>> The new one is lining Vee's box. Do you want it back?
>
>the miracles of backups and a database. It's also relatively easy to
>remember WoD stats.
I'm glad it's easy to remember, since the Trojan virus and the magnets
should have taken care of the PC and the backups by now.
>
>> >> ><oh shit>
>> >this is a recorded message
>> >aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr
>>
>> Your cousins are pulling on you for a change?
>
>no, I'm scuttling out of the room screaming
Do you do that often, or does Simon enforce a silence curfew when
he returns from work?
>
><why do I keep playing Catholics?>
>> >of course, Sean can rationalise nearly *anything*, and Sword is somewhat
>> >old testament.
>>
>> That's the beauty of having all the rules. One trip to the confessional
>and it's all forgiven, on paper anyway.
>
>Sword's a bit less forgiving than that, and Sean is able to justify
>dealing drugs and guns at school.
The church managed to justify the Inquisition, so it stands to reason
the rules can be interpreted any number of ways if you try hard enough.
>
>> >> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
>>
>> Pocket? I can see your glasses maybe surviving the initial blast, but
>pockets is asking for a lot.
>
>well, I needed something for Bunsen to sniff, but I specified portable
Nitroglycerin is portable and it comes with a handy container that Bunsen
can sniff and play fetch with.
>
<Hurricane Floyd stopped by and annoyed the cats>
>
>did you follow Dogbert's advice and make a home video? Was it
>interesting?
Lots of rain and some wind. Three people did die across the river in Jersey.
>mmm. Did I mention my joints occasionally lock up when I'm stressed?
That explains the sudden interest in Tic Tac Toe.
>
>Incidentally, today's state election day, although I live in safe govt
>seats in both houses and nobody gives the opposition a snowball's chance
>in hell of winning. Democracy in action.
It is democracy in action. The majority aren't interested in the opposition
winning.
Tolstrup
<RotBS as canon?>
> I'd hate for gaming to define the canon as something rigid for the novels to
> follow. For example, lots of people in the world today have different creation
> myths. Novels that wrote about the elven creation myth and the human
> creation myth as distinct would not bother me so much. Sloppy editing and
> timeline gaffs are much more objectionanble, IMHO.
considering one can actually *ask* the gods.... besides, it's not a
creation myth so much as a cosmology change which can reasonably be
checked
> It could be that Krynn exists in several different dimensions, or that the
> gods must maintain a presence in each alternate future. In Silver Hearts,
> the Missing City is populated by ghost-like beings who go about their
> lives without realizing that they are visible to the real inhabitants of Krynn.
sounds deus ex machina. We shouldn't use 'grafted on' excuses; after
all it looks like DoSF has retrospectively changed Pazza's alignment.
> <Chaos and the High God represent destruction and creation>
>
> >then DoSF would have been about *them* duking it out, not Chaos and the
> >vastly inferior gods.
>
> We don't know if that would have been next. Chaos wanted to punish the
> kiddies first.
they were so mismatched we can assume the high god would've stepped in
while it was possible to work with the others.
> <Oral surgeons are rip off artists in more ways than one>
<ouchy wisdom teeth scenario>
> Of course, he tried to convince me to yank all four, even though only two were
> causing the problem.
I take it he charged by the tooth
> <A Krynnish minion might resemble a Middle Earth Maiar>
> >
> >now I'm going to have to read LotR, and I prefer my books meaty (which
> >I've heard Papa Tolkein isn't)
>
> It's incredibly meaty in an allegorical sense, and it's a very detailed world,
> but it is not the action fest that DL is.
I understand for example that the characters are Masters of the
Universe, with moulded-on plastic jocks.
> >> >> >> ><1984ing minions>
> >>
> <Is Takhy powerful enough to create her own servitor race?>
<empowered petitioners?>
> I am not up on Baator, but won't it take more of her power to keep such
> a minion active outside of Baator, unless she encases it in a mortal body
> like the dracs? And giving it corporeal form makes it vulnerable.
this is just something to sit in Hell and answer the phone anyway,
although maybe short forays are in the budget.
> <The difference between TSR and UN is that blackmailing the UN works>
>
> >if you'll excuse me I've got to strip my M16
>
> Boutros-Ghali has been punished enough.
it's not for him
> >> ><South America sounds fun>
> >> <No one in Argentina will arrest Superman>
> >you should've made it more interesting, say by seeing if bullets really
> >bounce off
>
> There *were* 10 paramilitary cops around, you know.
so get them to shoot at Vee and have her run behind him (A Taste of
Killing and Romance)
> >> >> <Lunch is on Spike>
> >all the same, souvlaki sounds good
>
> Depends on where you buy it. Some souvlaki joints make pigeons seem like
> a pleasant alternatives.
apart from the runny yoghurt sauce they do a decent job at uni. Of
course, last time I had it for lunch, guess what Mum cooked for dinner?
> >> <The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
> >but by then the two of us have distracted you long enough for Sword to
> >take the shot. I've slipped him evidence you launder for drug dealers.
> >Failing that, Kakita Saburon may arrive and carve you good.
>
> Once Sword finds out that the rat was marked for death because he
> drugged and tried to pick up jailbait, he'll be whistling my tune soon
> enough.
but Sean's buried that evidence. Since when does something you did as a
juvenile in Alaska catch up to you in NYC? And Sean was marked for
death for being a ratkin. Racist ^&&&***(s
> <Police Academy: The New Class>
<Zed, kender/ogre?>
> >give the man some credit...
>
> I do, whenever I can understand what the hell he's saying.
should've got an Oscar
> <Rohan declined the role of Tackleberry in the sequel>
> >LotR, Wuthering Heights...
>
> What? A possession of the British crown that doesn't teach the Brontes?
they're not big on Civics or Eng.Lit in the standard syllabus.
> <WotC is responsible for approving continuity lapses>
>
> I don't know how much time has passed since WotC acquired TSR, but if
> Peter bought with the intention of selling in the future, then it would explain
> why he wouldn't pour money into a database project, or continue a cash flow
> draining product like SAGA.
but did he plan to sell Buzzards to BigBro? If I was buying something
like DL, I'd actually make it worth the expenditure. Otherwise why
didn't Hasbro buy TSR when it went bust?
> >> <Victoria's gold rush>
> >> Oops, I did. Confused it with Virginia City. Sluttia's most likely in
> >Nevada, where prostitution is legal in some counties.
> >
> >I meant the state where the CIA, FBI and Marines are set up.
>
> Quantaco is in Maine, I think.
Quantico's in 'Virginia.' So's the "George Bush Center for
Intelligence" (because he was DCI for a year)
> >> <Beating the competition>
<he's pathetic and uninteresting>
> >sounds like somebody I'm competing with then
>
> Well, who am I to disagree?
I need better lures it seems
> >> >> >> <Altarielle's sister's a granny (sorry Mercy)>
> >sure they won't treat you as an authority figure? Grandparents are
> >untouchable to young kids.
>
> Not when their parents play along with me.
if parents are around it gets sanitised. And they wouldn't believe you.
> >> <NYPD: the truth is stranger than fiction>
> >after I'd mulched Yoda, torched what was left and had Sean dump the
> >ashes into the South Atlantic, I read a book.
>
> Full of anger you are yes, hmmm. You're in trouble now. Old Jedi Masters
> never die, they just rest up for sequels.
Yoda didn't die, when he vanished he was going to George's office.
> >> >> <Casinos are a rich man's game that's meant to suck in the poor.>
> >> Social services provides one for free.
> >
> >those'd be the ones who can't get work at schools?
>
> Not all of them. The government does have a vested interest in getting
> people out of social services, since it pays for the counseling.
that's simple, tell them they're cured. Like the Vietnam M16 being
'self-cleaning' because they didn't have enough cleaning kits.
> <Henry VIII's pet name for his fourth wife was the Flemish mare.>
> >
> >how many years of bestiality and what happened to her again?
>
> Don't remember exactly, but it had to be less than 2, because rumor has
> it that the marraige was never consummated because Anne had body
> odor. She didn't make waves when Henry divorced her so gave her a
> mansion, servants, and a yearly income.
she had it made. And of course for remarriage purposes she couldn't say
nasty things about the king, so some lucky servant...
> >> <There were lots of reasons why Henry's enemies didn't kill him>
>
> >all those nuns he turfed had to go somewhere
>
> That Calais border came in handy. And since some nuns didn't want to
> go to the convent in the first place, they probably jumped at a chance
> to get back into the marriage pool.
the pool or the velvet swing? But then, a lot of nuns were surplus
daughters, weren't they?
> >> <Peekaboo, I see you>
<how many fingers?>
> >> I'll give you a hint -- it's greater than 0 and less than 6.
> >
> >my calculator's busted
>
> Slide one abacus bead to the right.
too high-tech
> >> >> <Rohan's looking for an alibi>
> >no, the deal is *you* drop the hammer and I alibi you.
>
> That's not a deal, that's a suicide pact. And I'm the one who enjoys life,
> remember?
you've been standing next to the angst pits for several days now,
haven't you?
> >> >> <Cleaning up at WotC>
> >
> >I don't have any communicable diseases. I can fax you a copy of the
> >medical certificate. Unfortunately I had to transcribe it by hand.
>
> I'm sure Peter will be relieved.
I can get something specially for him
> <Australian ballad>
> >> >aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh
> >>
> >> A serenade. How romantic.
> >
> >silhouetted in the window by the moonlight. How touching.
> >Bugger, sling came loose.
>
> Bunsen gnaws more than just doormats.
what's he doing in NYC?
> >> <Burning calories>
<how many blocs and where's he shit?>
> >we've got a backyard for that. I'm lazy and walk him maybe nine blocks;
> >Dad takes him on forty minute walks.
>
> Your grass must be industrial strength with all that fertilizer.
guess who gets to put it on the compost heap?
> The great thing about cats is that they walk themselves.
and occasionally Spike's inside at night and hence legal.
> >> < Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
> >"those monkeys are killing each other!"
>
> The huntsman would not build a peephole. He's more of a Knight than
> Sturm in that respect.
but Sturm was just a bloody pervert. What about noise?
> >> >> ><Sturm's lack of counsel>
> >> <Derek had authority over Sturm because of the Icewall expedition>
> >
> >Sturm wouldn't have said that if Derek had legit authority over him
>
> Sturm was caught between a rock and a hard place and may have said that
> out of frustration. He had no rights as knight, but was being charged with
> transgressions against the Measure. Besides, while Sturm may believe
> Derek had no authority over him, if Sturm still considered himself a squire
> then Derek was his commander.
Sturm getting frustrated enough to forget the law?
> <We both drink too much cola probably because we don't drink booze>
> >> In the Omen, Satan's son was named Damien Thorne.
> >
> >Rectus Dominus
>
> I see you know each other.
it was on South Park
> >> >> <It's Rohan, not Roman>
<Drusus>
> >how'd he go down?
>
> Poisoned by his mother Livia because he wanted to restore the Republic
> and Augustus favored him over his brother Tiberius.
I know patricide, matricide and fratricide, but what's killing your own
adult children?
>
> It was rumored that Drusus was Augustus' biological son. Augustus
> threatened to kill Livia's husband if he didn't divorce her and ordered him
> to be the best man at his wife's remarriage. Livia was pregnant with Drusus
> at the time.
naughty
> >> <Continuity error between DoWN and the Soulforge>
> >>
> >> >> Quick! Somebody call Officer Miller.
> >> >
> >> >they'll never take me alive!
> >>
> >> I don't think alive entered into his equation.
> >
> >it's coming right for us!
>
> Steve's bringing Stan! and an armored tank?
say 'hi' to my Apache gunship
> >> >> <Rohan's inconsistent about his DL consistency>
> >> >I did something right?
> >>
> >> It happens now and then.
> >
> >if you need me I'll be in the toilet checking the cylinder balance
> > of my .38.
>
> You should stand in the tub when doing that. It'll be less messy if
> there is an accident.
we've only got a shower cubicle upstairs
> >> <Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
> >> I gave Raistlin credit for the last 8. Gilon could never have known
> >Caramon would try to leave his wife for his brother.
> >
> >was Gilon ever *around*?
>
> Too afraid of Kit, most likely. But Caramon probably helped with the
> wood chopping now and again.
probably in a state of Kit-induced contempt, if Cazza was capable.
> >> Disfigurement didn't stop the Venus de Milo from being a work of art.
> >
> >what about character assassination?
>
> My character has a 19 Constitution score.
and her Charisma? Dirty little secrets?
> <The worst thing the US gov't did to Altarielle was raise her taxes>
> >
> <The US government expects people to serve it, not the other way around>
>
> The militia types are not representative of the will of the majority, so they
> are also serving themselves and not the people. Having seen the poverty
> of the third world and several banana republics, I may think my taxes are
> high, but I am very pleased with the freedom I have to live my life my way.
I can understand what is probably the only way of attempting individual
rights, which govt is hellbent on encroaching. When I see banana
republics, I wonder why we're actually degenerating instead of
progressing like they slowly are.
> >> >> ><varying definitions of foul>
<Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
> >he was in his seventies and it was some orgy of foulness
>
> Henry was allegedly impotent towards the end, so he couldn't go
> out in a blaze of orgy even if he wanted to.
that'll teach them
> >> >> >> >> Bunsen reminds me of Marmaduke.
> <Bunsen's more of a teenager than a puppy>
> >
> >oh. In any event, we're still feeding him puppy food.
>
> He is still growing so that's not a mistake.
and he has a dichotomy of near sleep and explosive action
> >> >> <Rohan's got a politician's memory>
> >'economic liberalism' - they're economic rationalists who are into
> >privatisation and the trickle-down effect.
>
> Privatization is not bad for certain industries. When your government is
> not bankrolling you, a firm has to run lean and be creative.
on the other hand, you have to pay about six hundred bucks to own what
you did three years ago. Public utilities should be run like any other
business, and kept so the shareholders (voters) actually benefit in the
future.
> >> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
> >> A personal firearm won't do it, and everything bigger requires two hands.
> >a magnum should be enough, but for argument's sake I can prop the front
> >end on the back of the boat, or steer with my feet.
>
> All it takes is one bite and the puppy propulsion system is gone, along with
> your feet.
grenade
> <Crysania would focus on the big picture because Dalamar doesn't care about
> Palanthas>
> >it was obviously a world-effecting issue. Certainly she knew it was the
> >key issue affecting the KoS.
>
> Was it? Or would Crysania worry more about the affect of the abandonment
> by Paladine on the knight's morale? The leaving of the gods makes Sturm's
> sacrifice seem like a waste, and that would shake Sturm's fan club a lot
> more than changing the Measure.
my timeline was that this all happened in the first ten years after the
WotL
<Billary's probably lost NY>
> >> >all together now: "awwwww"
> >>
> >> More like "yeayyyyy"
> >
> >and your involvement?
>
> Restricted to the voting booth, unless Hil and I become neighbors. And she
> really should avoid NY now that Monica's moved here too.
be there with a camcorder and flak jacket
> >> >excuse me while I write bad verse about oblivion and play with a .38
> >>
> >> Say hello to Father Chaos for me.
> >
> >if he *really* exists I'm going to be pissed off.
>
> Why? Because this might mean Zinfab is actually Paladine? Who's
> the continuity officer in charge when the book doesn't deal with DL?
TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!!!
> <The WotL was not led by military geniuses like Alexander the Great,
> so a return to a recognizable legal structure like the Measure made sense.>
> >
> >for me it's the shock value - to the elves it was last week, to the KoS
> >it was the defining event of their youth. Such an emotional impact
> >should have been recognised. And the instant restoration of the status
> >quo was stupid and insulting.
>
> Memory is a tricky thing -- the "old days" were probably remembered as a
> rosy time where Sturm dragged the KoS out of disreputable obscurity. It
> was a time to build upon success, not reconstruct the order. And DL elves
> are always portrayed as needing years to decide something because of their
> long lives. A "last week" reaction would indicate a need for patience, not
> immediate change.
elves are as prone to knee-jerk as anybody else; they kicked off the
Kinslayer war before Ergoth was buggering the tortoises. In any event,
most baby boomers formed their beliefs when they were about my age.
> <The KoS did not follow Istaran practices because they worshipped
> Paladine with respect>
> >
> >why the hell did they end up so static?
>
> Because they'd lost the guidance of their god and their High Clerist.
> All that moving around to avoid being stoned to death could not have
> helped, either.
I'd imagine that would've made them rethink some of their dumber rules
> <Literary quality is not synonymous with best seller>
> >
> >I meant EotM. Silent Blade was actually okay and compensated for some
> >of the damage of Passage to Dawn.
>
> I hesitate to get the new book about Wulfgar, but I like keeping up to date
> on the timeline. Passage to Dawn was just silly, but I wasn't overwhelmed
> by the Silent Blade either. Buying "Passage to Dawn" was the first time a
> bookseller actually advised me against purchasing a book.
understandable. Seen my list of 'things I've learned'? Spine of the
World sounds like it might actually be about Wulfgar, NOT Drizzt.
> >> <Derek played the game better than Nixon, since no one caught him
> being bad>
<compromise candidate?>
> Perhaps. He could have also split Gunthar's followers down the middle, and
> given Derek a clear shot at taking over the knighthood before the > battle at the High Clerist's tower.
a compromise candidate is somebody chosen by two bitterly opposed camps
> <Laurana's main goal was always Tanis -- leading the army was
> secondary.>
<Laurana ain't Ce'Nedra>
> Laurana both smarter and more selfless than Ce'Nedra, who still has maturity
> issues as the Queen of Riva and has become a Dryad baby machine. But
> Laurana wasn't fighting for her homeland or because of her faith in Elistan.
> Lauran used the army as her personal French foreign legion.
but during that time she *did* develop a little Pazza philsophy...
> >Her time with Elistan, the speech at Sturm's bier, her victory at Vingaard
> > (and she was a major tactician in her own right) and her postwar
> >role all fit with this.
>
> She stayed with Sturm because he needed her, and part of her wanted to
> carry on as the Golden General because Laurana didn't want Sturm's
> sacrifice to have been for nothing. Her dislike of being paraded as the
> Golden General after the war shows that once she got Tanis back, being
> a military leader was something she could live without.
that doesn't mean she wouldn't feel dutybound. And so many people
looked up to her that disappearing into obscurity would be a betrayal.
Mark Chapman around?
> >> <The next DL generation of fans>
> <We don't see a lot of EotM and under twenty fans in AFDL because
> they're afraid of the flames>
> >
> >well, as liking EotM indicates totally warped and potentially mutated
> >pleasure centres...
> >in any event, even if we scare a few off there should be a lot more.
>
> And they're probably out there lurking. If you look at the mailing list,
> you'd think they never had anyone posting besides Matt Lynch and some
> others. But 408 people are enrolled.
but wouldn't they be asking questions? The list's more rules-oriented
than here after all. I can still remember my canon defn being
extrapolated to having SAGA as the only canonical game system.
> <The timeline inertia bothers gamers more than novel fans>
> >
> >am I to believe that nobody cares if the world has no internal logic or
> >consistency and REEKS of cheese?
>
> Nope. Just that its importance varies depending on what type of DL fan
> you are.
the integrity of the world is the *most important* consideration if
you've read more than a single series. Authors unable to be consistent
with themselves is actually happening.
> >then I'm also average of people who can read and think simultaneously
>
> Timelines and such matter more to gamers because they're building
> campaigns and can't have history shifting under their feet. Someone
> who wants to read a good story might get annoyed that Paladine is
> referred to as a gold dragon but shrug it off if the rest of the novel's good.
look at this mostly literary discussion: we're forced to use books that
were written by authors who didn't do their research properly.
> >> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
> When I still gamed on a regular basis, I had characters created for me in
> some campaigns, and brought my own into other mid level ones. I did the
> latter only with my favorite DM because he would never ask my PC to act
> out of character.
depends. The campaign I'd run would be based on what the characters do
(so we can actually have multiple alignment types working together etc),
but if you have a specific mission in mind some discipline is needed.
> >dare I ask how you managed to unload the firearm in question? And
> >Bunsen IV doesn't know where I've stashed the puppies.
>
> Anybody seen Morten lately?
how the hell did Morten do it?
> >> ><rack>
> >>
> >> Funny, that's just what Dr. Moreau would do.
> >
> >he sounds seriously troubled
>
> He shared your interest in recontructing humans.
I don't go much deeper than internal organs
> <My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
> >
> >another way is flyspray and a lighter. No blood.
>
> But there could be witnesses.
I've got a grenade launcher as well.
<Simon's birthday?>
> >good question. Last time I gave him some vodka (he was stocking up for
> >Schoolies' Week). Maybe some weapons-grade plutonium.
>
> But I thought he was not the one interested in overthrowing the government.
no, that's for killing him. It's stashed inside a bottle opener pendant
> >> <Modern Art by Dr. Lecter>
> >Sean's out of bounds and ran when he saw you coming
>
> He's best left to Vee anyway.
but Sean can turn the tables on Vee. She wouldn't be the first cat he's
taken out.
> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
> >that was my holdout. I do of course carry something a lot more
> >accessible. And I'm sure he has a policy for those who call him a poof.
>
> His policy reads: Que esta haciendo este Sabado, muchacho?
whuh?
> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
> >
> >nobody's in any danger of even finding out what Sword looks like.
>
> That's what Salman Rushdie's publisher first thought too.
but then Sword can just whack Rupert.
> >> >> >> ><Storming Altarielle's Ramparts>
> >Bane was taken out by Torm. Bhaal was just overconfident.
>
> But Bane never saw the day he'd lose his portfolio to a mortal. The
> rat's got a whisker shaving coming.
what've you got against Sean's vibrissae?
> >> >> ><combat hairties>
> >
> >but wasn't the point that I couldn't grab you off your balcony?
>
> If I were on a balcony, yes. But it was a porch, remember?
whatever. To remove my feet you need to dismount from the porch.
> >> >> <Satan, toy maker>
<Amidala blowup doll>
> >Jedi mind trick all right.
>
> It's not working. She didn't sell, and with the acquisition of WotC, my
> stock's down a full point.
take it out on them with a baseball bat
> >> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
<Lion King in my mind?>
> >What can I give you to make it stop?
>
> Your immortal soul might be a start. And some begging wouldn't hurt.
Amex okay?
> <There are lots of S&M playmates out there>
> That's probably the reason Lucy and Ricky slept in different beds.
I thought it was neurotic censorship
> >> >> >> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
> ><the bloody Boojum>
> >I'm going to have to read that story as well
>
> That one is somewhat slow going, so good luck.
I think I'll go read something on adoption law then
<what happens when you don't drive>
> It's quite a rush. I've only seen one person fall off, and she was a suicide.
> They kept us all in the train for three hours as they tried to get her out.
>
> If anyone is still reading this, don't try that at home.
sounds great if you hate a lot of people
> >> >> Pulling? Your cousins are elastic?
> >let's not go there.....<retch>
>
> You've splattered some on your glasses. I agree, BTW, since I'd have to
> take your uncle's side on that one.
you don't want to get near my uncle, especially not in a pinafore
> >> >> ><hot pussy>
> <he means my fireproof cat>
> ><she's not an arsonist, honest>
>
<five gold stars = scent sample>
> >we'd probably better get specific then. Unless you're paying postage.
>
> I'd gladly pay the postage, since it will be the the biggest blast the pup
> will have in his short, sweet life.
<sluuuuurp>
> <You can always incorporate a little "Spartacus" into the paladin>
<I could give a shit about this game>
> Why don't you guys just take turns? It'd be fairer then. Or is it a policy of
> your gaming club that you're following?
games last until people lose interest. Somehow he got a game and I
didn't
> >bear in mind you cooked it over the angst pits
>
> I know. It gave the chicken a curry-like taste.
I hope Vee's hidden the kitchen knives
> <Disposing of Sword's character sheet>
> >the miracles of backups and a database. It's also relatively easy to
> >remember WoD stats.
>
> I'm glad it's easy to remember, since the Trojan virus and the magnets
> should have taken care of the PC and the backups by now.
you seem to be underestimating just how paranoid I am
> >> Your cousins are pulling on you for a change?
> >
> >no, I'm scuttling out of the room screaming
> Do you do that often, or does Simon enforce a silence curfew when
> he returns from work?
only on special occasions
>><why do I keep playing Catholics?>
>> Sword's a bit less forgiving than that, and Sean is able to justify
>> dealing drugs and guns at school.
> The church managed to justify the Inquisition, so it stands to reason
> the rules can be interpreted any number of ways if you try hard > enough.
Mainly he was going from mundane morality - if he doesn't sell it
somebody else will, and he needs the money
>
>> >> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
>>
>>> Pocket? I can see your glasses maybe surviving the initial blast, but
>>>pockets is asking for a lot.
>
>>well, I needed something for Bunsen to sniff, but I specified portable
> Nitroglycerin is portable and it comes with a handy container that > Bunsen
> can sniff and play fetch with.
something that fits in my pocket. I'm not that suicidal
>
<Hurricane Floyd stopped by and annoyed the cats>
>
> >did you follow Dogbert's advice and make a home video? Was it
> >interesting?
>Lots of rain and some wind. Three people did die across the river in >Jersey.
how'd you do it?
>>mmm. Did I mention my joints occasionally lock up when I'm stressed?
>That explains the sudden interest in Tic Tac Toe.
don't worry, I'm only stalking you. I did get to kiss a lot of women
I'm related to today as we had our birthday present-swapping gettogether
in an inner city pub
>
>>Incidentally, today's state election day, although I live in safe govt
>>seats in both houses and nobody gives the opposition a snowball's chance
>>in hell of winning. Democracy in action.
>It is democracy in action. The majority aren't interested in the >opposition winning.
the majority can't comprehend life without Jeff. We may find out as his
majority in the lower house was reduced and he now needs his coalition
partners to get legislation through (previously parlt was one man and
over a hundred rubber stamps). He might retire, we don't know. But
people actually swung *towards* the govt candidate in our safe seat.
thrill me thrill me fulfill me
Rohan "drunkosaur" Tolstrup
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
<Games shouldn't define rigid canon, since the novels can mirror the
real world by having multiple mythologies>
>
>considering one can actually *ask* the gods....
Tak and Fiz will not give you the same story. Tak will lie outright, Fiz
may hide things when convenient.
>besides, it's not a creation myth so much as a cosmology change
>which can reasonably be checked
In-world, the words of the gods can be distorted. The Kingpriest would
have eliminated any role the evil and neutral gods would have had
in the creation of Krynn. In the TSR world, I'd love to see an official
canon defined in something like a Readers' Companion, which would
make it easier for writers and fans alike. But I don't put the onus on
the writers, because it's not as if they own the shared world they're
writing for.
<The multiplanar battles in RotBS could refer to either other dimensions
or alternate timelines>
>
>sounds deus ex machina. We shouldn't use 'grafted on' excuses; after
>all it looks like DoSF has retrospectively changed Pazza's alignment.
I agree, it is a grafted on excuse for now. WoS will most likely make it
or something similar canon though. If the gods aren't hiding in plain sight
on Krynn, they've got to be on one of these planes.
>
<Chaos and the High God might be at war, but Chaos fought the kids in
DoSF to punish them>
>>
>they were so mismatched we can assume the high god would've stepped in
>while it was possible to work with the others.
If the High God is a distinct being, then he's even more aloof than Astinus.
He'd probably wait until the gods had exhausted all of their options before
stepping in. I still think he was responsible for Tas and Caramon ending
up in the future in Test of the Twins.
>
>> <Oral surgeons are rip off artists in more ways than one>
><ouchy wisdom teeth scenario>
>I take it he charged by the tooth
Our family health insurance reimburses me for all expenses, so it
was in his best interest to make the procedure as costly as possible.
>
<Rohan's never read LotR and he might not want to>
>
>I understand for example that the characters are Masters of the
>Universe, with moulded-on plastic jocks.
The Brothers Grimm are more gritty than LotR. But Tolkein's
characters, while bigger than life, are more like Morte D'Arthur
than Masters of the Universe in terms of nobility and power.
>
>> <Is Takhy powerful enough to create her own servitor race?>
<Using her petitioners in Baator might drain Tak's strength>
>
>this is just something to sit in Hell and answer the phone anyway,
>although maybe short forays are in the budget.
>
If Tak's still doing the grunt work, it'll detract, not enhance, her
ability to manage on multiple fronts.
>> <The difference between TSR and UN is that blackmailing the UN works>
>>
>> >if you'll excuse me I've got to strip my M16
>>
>> Boutros-Ghali has been punished enough.
>
>it's not for him
Boutros will feel so unloved.
>
>> >> ><South America sounds fun>
>> >> <No one in Argentina will arrest Superman>
>> >you should've made it more interesting, say by seeing if bullets really
>> >bounce off
>>
>> There *were* 10 paramilitary cops around, you know.
>
>so get them to shoot at Vee and have her run behind him (A Taste of
>Killing and Romance)
Vee is on guard duty back home when I'm travelling.
>
>> >> >> <Lunch is on Spike>
>> >all the same, souvlaki sounds good
>>
>> Depends on where you buy it. Some souvlaki joints make pigeons seem like
>> a pleasant alternatives.
>
>apart from the runny yoghurt sauce they do a decent job at uni. Of
>course, last time I had it for lunch, guess what Mum cooked for dinner?
Think of it as having seconds on the souvlaki. Luckily, when I was still
at the university, I loved tunafish on a roll, which was never on Mom's dinner
list. The caf staff even nicknamed me "Tuna."
>
>> >> <The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
<Sword clips rats who go after jailbait>
>but Sean's buried that evidence. Since when does something you did
>as a juvenile in Alaska catch up to you in NYC?
Internet.
>And Sean was marked for death for being a ratkin. Racist ^&&&***(s
Don't worry, he'll be happier after he reincarnates into his next life.
>
>> <Police Academy: Zed, kender/ogre?>
><Zed, kender/ogre?>
>> >give the man some credit...
>>
>> I do, whenever I can understand what the hell he's saying.
>
>should've got an Oscar
for most incoherent performance by an actor in a B-comedy.
>
<The Aussie syllabus isn't heavy on the Brontes>
Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights is a barrel of angst.
>> <WotC is responsible for approving continuity lapses>
>>
<If TSR was a temporary acquisition, then it makes sense that only
maintenance investments were made.>
>
>but did he plan to sell Buzzards to BigBro? If I was buying something
>like DL, I'd actually make it worth the expenditure. Otherwise why
>didn't Hasbro buy TSR when it went bust?
Market conditions and undefined strategy on the part of Hasbro. Magic
was the hot property then and Hasbro hadn't fully defined its interactive
strategy. Even now, Pokemon's the bigger prize in the acquisition.
>
>> >> <Victoria's gold rush>
<Quantico's in Virginia, not Maine>
Geography was never big on the US syllabus.
>
>> >> <Beating the competition>
><he's pathetic and uninteresting>
>> >sounds like somebody I'm competing with then
>>
>> Well, who am I to disagree?
>
>I need better lures it seems
It's the self esteem problem rearing its head again. The prior response
to this particular conversation had been a compliment, you know. One
you resisted taking btw, so, if you insist...
>
<My cousins will validate any granny tales I tell about my sister>
>
>if parents are around it gets sanitised. And they wouldn't believe you.
In Mercy's case, the parents are my age peers or near abouts. My closest
friend growing up was my brother's son Eric.
>
<Yoda's alive and angry with you, Koalataur>
>
>Yoda didn't die, when he vanished he was going to George's office.
And when he comes back, you may end up digitized as the next
Jar Jar Binks.
>
<Gambling addiction help is available to the poor for free so the govt
has an interest in curing them quickly>
>that's simple, tell them they're cured. Like the Vietnam M16 being
>'self-cleaning' because they didn't have enough cleaning kits.
But relapses are expensive. It's better to get them cured and off of the
social services list.
>
>> <Henry VIII's pet name for his fourth wife was the Flemish mare.>
<Anne of Cleves played her cards right and got cash plus her life>
>
>she had it made. And of course for remarriage purposes she couldn't say
>nasty things about the king, so some lucky servant...
As soon as Anne agreed to the divorce, Catherine Howard was shoved
under Henry's nose for bride consideration. Any servant coming near
Anne would have to wear a gas mask.
>
<Some nuns might have been happy to be evicted by Henry>
>
>the pool or the velvet swing?
Both, I'd wager.
> But then, a lot of nuns were surplus daughters, weren't they?
If a woman was ugly as sin, or dad couldn't afford the dowry, it was
off to the nunnery. The king of France had his wife retire to a convent
because she was barren, so he could remarry. If Catherine of Aragon
would have done that, there may not have been an Anglican Church.
>
><how many fingers?>
>> Slide one abacus bead to the right.
>
>too high-tech
Use the calculator on your PC. Simon can help you with it.
>
>> >> >> <Rohan's looking for an alibi>
>> That's not a deal, that's a suicide pact. And I'm the one who enjoys life,
>> remember?
>
>you've been standing next to the angst pits for several days now,
>haven't you?
Listening to Disney's Greatest Hits, Vol II provides me with immunity.
"Zippety Doo Dah" seems to be particularly effective.
>
>> >> >> <Cleaning up at WotC>
>> >
>> >I don't have any communicable diseases. I can fax you a copy of the
>> >medical certificate. Unfortunately I had to transcribe it by hand.
>>
>> I'm sure Peter will be relieved.
>
>I can get something specially for him
Better do it before the merger is approved by the shareholders, or Allan
over at Hasbro will be jealous.
>
>> <Australian ballad>
>> >silhouetted in the window by the moonlight. How touching.
>> >Bugger, sling came loose.
>>
>> Bunsen gnaws more than just doormats.
>
>what's he doing in NYC?
He's picking up a little package I'm sending to Melbourne. Be
sure to open it up as soon as he comes back.
>
><how many blocs and where's he shit?>
>> >we've got a backyard for that. I'm lazy and walk him maybe nine blocks;
>> >Dad takes him on forty minute walks.
>>
>> Your grass must be industrial strength with all that fertilizer.
>
>guess who gets to put it on the compost heap?
I hear getting close to compost makes you lucky. Have any success
with the lottery?
>
>> The great thing about cats is that they walk themselves.
>
>and occasionally Spike's inside at night and hence legal.
You mean Spike can get hauled away if he's caught outside? You're
right, Australia's a police state.
>
>> >> < Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
>> The huntsman would not build a peephole. He's more of a Knight than
>> Sturm in that respect.
>
>but Sturm was just a bloody pervert. What about noise?
Evangelical healing service.
>
>> >> >> ><Sturm's lack of counsel>
>> >> <Derek had authority over Sturm because of the Icewall expedition>
>> >
>> >Sturm wouldn't have said that if Derek had legit authority over him
>>
>Sturm getting frustrated enough to forget the law?
More like bending it a bit. Like he did when he fooled around with Kit.
>
<Rohan's never seen the Omen>
>it was on South Park
That was pretty funny, but I still think the original Mr. Hanky episode's
the best. It was good all around parody.
>
><Drusus>
>> >how'd he go down?
>>
>> Poisoned by his mother Livia because he wanted to restore the Republic
>> and Augustus favored him over his brother Tiberius.
>
>I know patricide, matricide and fratricide, but what's killing your own
>adult children?
Good question. If I get my hands on a dictionary I'll let you know.
>>
<Augustus made a cuckold be the best man at his wife's wedding.>
>naughty
At least there's no evidence of his sleeping with his close relatives. Livia,
his wife, would have made a great Sargonnas. She eventually poisons
Augustus by spraying poison on figs while they were still on the tree,
since Augustus would not eat any food he didn't pick for himself.
>> >> <Continuity error between DoWN and the Soulforge>
<Officer Miller's on the case>
>> Steve's bringing Stan! and an armored tank?
>
>say 'hi' to my Apache gunship
Keep that up and only Rabe will be left to continue DL.
>
<Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
>>
>> You should stand in the tub when doing that. It'll be less messy if
>> there is an accident.
>
>we've only got a shower cubicle upstairs
Even better. You can shut the door and prevent splatters. But not
having a bathtub is a shame. They're the best thing for relaxing muscles.
>
>> >> <Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
<Gilon wasn't around because he was afraid of Kit>
>probably in a state of Kit-induced contempt, if Cazza was capable.
That pre-natal LSD trip left Caramon incapable of having any emotion
stronger than befuddlement.
>
<what about character assassination?>
>>
>> My character has a 19 Constitution score.
>
>and her Charisma? Dirty little secrets?
An air of mystery does not detract from Charisma, but enhances it.
>
>> <The worst thing the US gov't did to Altarielle was raise her taxes>
>> >
>> <The US government expects people to serve it, not the other way around>
>>
<The militia types are not representative of the will of the people>
>
>I can understand what is probably the only way of attempting individual
>rights, which govt is hellbent on encroaching. When I see banana
>republics, I wonder why we're actually degenerating instead of
>progressing like they slowly are.
Paying teachers $300 a month and shooting them when they protest is
not progress. If you could show me which of my individual rights is being
encroached on by the government, I might be able to see your PoV.
>
><Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
>> Henry was allegedly impotent towards the end, so he couldn't go
>> out in a blaze of orgy even if he wanted to.
>
>that'll teach them
It certainly did -- "avoid the old bugger until he can't bugger you."
>
>> <Bunsen's more of a teenager than a puppy>
>> >
>> >oh. In any event, we're still feeding him puppy food.
>>
>> He is still growing so that's not a mistake.
>
>and he has a dichotomy of near sleep and explosive action
Dogs are so cute when they wake up and start padding about
the house like miniature tornadoes.
>
<Privatization forces companies to be lean and mean>
>on the other hand, you have to pay about six hundred bucks to own what
>you did three years ago. Public utilities should be run like any other
>business, and kept so the shareholders (voters) actually benefit in the
>future.
But at least I'm paying my rightful share of the utility bill, and not
subsidizing someone else's expenditures via my taxes.
>
>> >> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
<A shark can knock out both the pup and the navigator>
>grenade
If you can take your mind off of the fact that last bite turned you into
Captain Hook.
<Crysania would focus on forcing the KoS to revise the Measure in the
first 10 years after the WotL>
Those first years would be spent rebuilding Palanthas, which Kit totaled,
and dealing with an influx of novices into the Church of Paladine.
>
><Billary's probably lost NY>
>> >and your involvement?
>>
>> Restricted to the voting booth, unless Hil and I become neighbors. And she
>> really should avoid NY now that Monica's moved here too.
>
>be there with a camcorder and flak jacket
Don't know if I could remain uninvolved. Hil's a pill but I think Monica is
disgusting.
>
<Who deals with continuity when DL is only peripherally involved?>
>
>TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!!!
Take a few deep breaths, and pass the gun over to Ros nice and slowly...
>
>> <The WotL was not led by military geniuses like Alexander the Great,
>> so a return to a recognizable legal structure like the Measure made sense.>
>> >
<Since the elves measure years as days, the fact that the Measure needed
work should have been fresh in their minds.>
>>
<The elves wouldn't have pushed the KoS because time went so slowly
for them that it would seem like a bum's rush.>
>
>elves are as prone to knee-jerk as anybody else; they kicked off the
>Kinslayer war before Ergoth was buggering the tortoises. In any event,
>most baby boomers formed their beliefs when they were about my age.
The Kinslayer war was all about elves, though. And as for baby boomer
beliefs, Porthios' opinion of humans didn't mellow with age. The baby
boomer humans would have been impressed with the need to restore
the KoS to its pre-Cataclysm prestige.
>
>> <The KoS did not follow Istaran practices because they worshipped
>> Paladine with respect>
>> >
>> >why the hell did they end up so static?
>>
>> Because they'd lost the guidance of their god and their High Clerist.
>> All that moving around to avoid being stoned to death could not have
>> helped, either.
>
>I'd imagine that would've made them rethink some of their dumber rules
Maybe. Or wear their hearts on their armor and think to hell with it, being
in the KoS is something to be proud of. Like Raistlin's living in his robes
to show everyone that he was a mage and proud of it.
>
>> <Literary quality is not synonymous with best seller>
>> >
<Passage to Dawn was the first novel a bookseller tried to talk me
into not buying.>
>
>understandable. Seen my list of 'things I've learned'? Spine of the
>World sounds like it might actually be about Wulfgar, NOT Drizzt.
It has Wulfgar's baby blues peering out a jail cell on the cover, at any
rate. But we both know that covers often have absolutely nothing
to do with the story.
>
>> >> <Derek played the game better than Nixon, since no one caught him
>> being bad>
><compromise candidate?>
<May have been used to advance one side above the other>
>a compromise candidate is somebody chosen by two bitterly opposed
>camps
Gunthar and Derek's camps were diametrically opposed, so what would
you define as a compromise candidate? Especially since Derek was
gifted with the ability to invent plausible, yet dangerous interpretations
of the Measure?
>
>> <Laurana's main goal was always Tanis -- leading the army was
>> secondary.>
><Laurana ain't Ce'Nedra>
>> Lauran used the army as her personal French foreign legion.
>
>but during that time she *did* develop a little Pazza philsophy...
Laurana was always more accepting than either of her brothers,
so Elistan's teachings were more of a confirmation of her own
innate goodness. But Laurana didn't lose herself into Paladine's
teachings so much that she put her need for hearth and home
behind her need to help others.
>
<Laurana was a brilliant tactician who did want to help the army win>
>>
<Laurana fought on in Sturm's name, and to forget the hurt of "losing"
Tanis to Kit. She got out of General mode the minute she landed Tanis.>
>
>that doesn't mean she wouldn't feel dutybound. And so many people
>looked up to her that disappearing into obscurity would be a betrayal.
>Mark Chapman around?
Laurana did her part as a shuttle diplomat, as you pointed out, but it
was in the service of the elves. And she appeared to be more of a
homebody than Tanis, per Gil's descriptions of their relationship.>
>
>> >> <The next DL generation of fans>
>> <We don't see a lot of EotM and under twenty fans in AFDL because
>> they're afraid of the flames>
>but wouldn't they be asking questions? The list's more rules-oriented
>than here after all. I can still remember my canon defn being
>extrapolated to having SAGA as the only canonical game system.
The novel fans wouldn't ask about the games. And we are getting a lot
of Raistlin related questions.
And you're forgetting how fearsome you could be before you mellowed
upon reaching 21 ;-)
>
>> <The timeline inertia bothers gamers more than novel fans>
>> >
<The importance of continuity varies according to each fan>
>
>the integrity of the world is the *most important* consideration if
>you've read more than a single series. Authors unable to be consistent
>with themselves is actually happening.
We all pick our personal canons. It's not something that I like to do, but
since the DL universe on the whole makes for good reading, I make
do with what I have.
And even single author universes are inconsistent. Take the Dragonriders
of Pern. Anne McCaffrey had F'Nor go back in time and seed the Southern
Continent with livestock that must have been Thread-resistant, since they
were able to thrive without shelter of any kind.
>
>> >then I'm also average of people who can read and think simultaneously
>>
>> Timelines and such matter more to gamers because they're building
>> campaigns and can't have history shifting under their feet. Someone
>> who wants to read a good story might get annoyed that Paladine is
>> referred to as a gold dragon but shrug it off if the rest of the novel's
>good.
>
>look at this mostly literary discussion: we're forced to use books that
>were written by authors who didn't do their research properly.
The research is only as good as the material that's available. And
since authors are not the most well paid of people, the time they can
spend on checking continuity is minimal. Besides, it's TSR's editing
staff that should own most of that responsibility.
>
>> >> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
<Explanation of a BYOC game>
>
>depends. The campaign I'd run would be based on what the characters do
>(so we can actually have multiple alignment types working together etc),
>but if you have a specific mission in mind some discipline is needed.
I agree with the discipline piece. It's things that go against the grain of a
character, like forcing a Lawful Good cleric to kill someone from behind, that
bug me.
>
>> >dare I ask how you managed to unload the firearm in question? And
>> >Bunsen IV doesn't know where I've stashed the puppies.
>>
>> Anybody seen Morten lately?
>
>how the hell did Morten do it?
He is back, so maybe he'll tell you himself.
>
<Rohan and Dr. Moreau have some things in common>
>
>I don't go much deeper than internal organs
Dr Moreau crossbred animals and humans.
>
>> <My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
>> >
>> >another way is flyspray and a lighter. No blood.
>>
>> But there could be witnesses.
>
>I've got a grenade launcher as well.
You can fire away after I've gotten my settlement.
>
><Simon's birthday?>
<Mom, I've blown up my baby brother>
You'd miss him too much if you did that.
>
>> >> <Modern Art by Dr. Lecter>
>> >Sean's out of bounds and ran when he saw you coming
>>
>> He's best left to Vee anyway.
>
>but Sean can turn the tables on Vee. She wouldn't be the first cat he's
>taken out.
I'd have to help her out then. It's a good thing his tail is flammable too.
>
>> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
>> >that was my holdout. I do of course carry something a lot more
>> >accessible. And I'm sure he has a policy for those who call him a poof.
>>
>> His policy reads: Que esta haciendo este Sabado, muchacho?
>
>whuh?
He'll discuss the poofiness policy on Saturday, if you're free.
>
>> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
>> >
>> >nobody's in any danger of even finding out what Sword looks like.
>>
>> That's what Salman Rushdie's publisher first thought too.
>
>but then Sword can just whack Rupert.
Rupert can bankroll Sword and Sword will find some moral justification
for it.
>
<Barbecued Were-Rat>
>
>what've you got against Sean's vibrissae?
They'll make lovely candle wicks in the event of a Y2K blackout.
>
>> >> >> ><combat hairties>
>> >
>> >but wasn't the point that I couldn't grab you off your balcony?
>>
>> If I were on a balcony, yes. But it was a porch, remember?
>
>whatever. To remove my feet you need to dismount from the porch.
Since you've established that I have a tail, I could always snake it
between the railings.
>
>> >> >> <Satan, toy maker>
><Amidala blowup doll>
>> >Jedi mind trick all right.
>>
>> It's not working. She didn't sell, and with the acquisition of WotC, my
>> stock's down a full point.
>
>take it out on them with a baseball bat
I'll try judicious heckling at the stockholders' meeting first.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
><Lion King in my mind?>
>> >What can I give you to make it stop?
>>
>> Your immortal soul might be a start. And some begging wouldn't hurt.
>
>Amex okay?
LOL. You are quite the unknowning psychic sometimes. But yes, I take
Amex.
>
>> <There are lots of S&M playmates out there>
>> That's probably the reason Lucy and Ricky slept in different beds.
>
>I thought it was neurotic censorship
That's what they want you to think. Babaloo-Aye is a cuban voodoo god.
>> >> >> >> ><stuck in Mt Nevermind>
>> ><the bloody Boojum>
>> >I'm going to have to read that story as well
>>
>> That one is somewhat slow going, so good luck.
>
>I think I'll go read something on adoption law then
Trying to see if you can stop Morten from changing your name to
Brattbakk?
>
><what happens when you don't drive>
>> It's quite a rush. I've only seen one person fall off, and she was a
>suicide.
>> They kept us all in the train for three hours as they tried to get her out.
>>
>> If anyone is still reading this, don't try that at home.
>
>sounds great if you hate a lot of people
Yuck. If I ever contemplated suicide, I would not want to go out as mulch
in the NYC subway system.
>
>> >> >> Pulling? Your cousins are elastic?
>> >let's not go there.....<retch>
>>
>> You've splattered some on your glasses. I agree, BTW, since I'd have to
>> take your uncle's side on that one.
>
>you don't want to get near my uncle, especially not in a pinafore
>
thought you said not to go there?
>>
><five gold stars = scent sample>
>> >we'd probably better get specific then. Unless you're paying postage.
>>
>> I'd gladly pay the postage, since it will be the the biggest blast the pup
>> will have in his short, sweet life.
>
><sluuuuurp>
Such a cuddly little pup. <sniffle>
>
>> <You can always incorporate a little "Spartacus" into the paladin>
><I could give a shit about this game>
<Why don't you guys take turns DMing?>
>games last until people lose interest. Somehow he got a game and I
>didn't
The sun'll come out tomorrow, clear away the cobwebs and the sorrow ...
>
>> >bear in mind you cooked it over the angst pits
>>
>> I know. It gave the chicken a curry-like taste.
>
>I hope Vee's hidden the kitchen knives
Why do I have the sudden urge to write DL fan fic loaded with drug imagery?
>
>> <Disposing of Sword's character sheet>
>> >the miracles of backups and a database. It's also relatively easy to
>> >remember WoD stats.
>>
>> I'm glad it's easy to remember, since the Trojan virus and the magnets
>> should have taken care of the PC and the backups by now.
>
>you seem to be underestimating just how paranoid I am
No. I've just got inside info on the level of defenses I have to deal with.
>
<Simon regulates the amount of screaming allowed upstairs>
>
>only on special occasions
Such as?
>
>>><why do I keep playing Catholics?>
>>> Sword's a bit less forgiving than that, and Sean is able to justify
>>> dealing drugs and guns at school.
>
>> The church managed to justify the Inquisition, so it stands to reason
>> the rules can be interpreted any number of ways if you try hard enough.
>
>Mainly he was going from mundane morality - if he doesn't sell it
>somebody else will, and he needs the money
He chose the sin of commission over the sin of omission. That one's
in the catechism too.
>>
>>> >> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
>>>
>>>> Pocket? I can see your glasses maybe surviving the initial blast, but
>>>>pockets is asking for a lot.
>>
>>>well, I needed something for Bunsen to sniff, but I specified portable
>
>> Nitroglycerin is portable and it comes with a handy container that Bunsen
>> can sniff and play fetch with.
>
>something that fits in my pocket. I'm not that suicidal
I knew there had to be a self preservation instinct buried somewhere in there.
>>
><Hurricane Floyd stopped by and annoyed the cats>
>>
>> >did you follow Dogbert's advice and make a home video? Was it
>> >interesting?
>
>>Lots of rain and some wind. Three people did die across the river in
>>Jersey.
>
>how'd you do it?
Those rain dances sure work. And you thought they were silly.
>
>>>mmm. Did I mention my joints occasionally lock up when I'm stressed?
>
>>That explains the sudden interest in Tic Tac Toe.
>
>don't worry, I'm only stalking you.
Aww, how sweet.
>I did get to kiss a lot of women I'm related to today as we had our
>birthday present-swapping gettogether in an inner city pub
Cool. Get anything unusual?
>>
>>>Incidentally, today's state election day, although I live in safe govt
>>>seats in both houses and nobody gives the opposition a snowball's chance
>>>in hell of winning. Democracy in action.
>
>>It is democracy in action. The majority aren't interested in the
>>opposition winning.
>
<Aussies are waiting for Jeff's other shoe to drop.>
>
>thrill me thrill me fulfill me
Madonnas fulfill only after the wedding.
>
>Rohan "drunkosaur" Tolstrup
Whatever happped to teetotalling?
Tolstrup
> >considering one can actually *ask* the gods....
>
> Tak and Fiz will not give you the same story. Tak will lie outright, Fiz
> may hide things when convenient.
some mortals will be smart enough to suss the truth
<can easily check if those stars have planets>
> In-world, the words of the gods can be distorted. The Kingpriest would
> have eliminated any role the evil and neutral gods would have had
> in the creation of Krynn.
Raistlin could scry. It's a knowable fact.
<Reader's Companion of canon>
instead of having a list of what is canonical, stop publishing
noncanonical books, possibly replace them with 2nd editions that comply
with canon (most noncanon books could be saved), and cease hypocrisy
<writers don't own DL, don't blame them>
the buck has to stop somewhere. Shoddy editing practice is probably
mostly to blame, but authors should be required to do their research.
<WTF with RotBS?>
<deus ex machina>
> I agree, it is a grafted on excuse for now. WoS will most likely make it
> or something similar canon though. If the gods aren't hiding in plain sight
> on Krynn, they've got to be on one of these planes.
the traditional explanation is fine. They're on other planes. Takhy
seems to be building up in FR.
> <Chaos and the High God might be at war, but Chaos fought the kids in
> DoSF to punish them>
<High God would've stepped in>
> If the High God is a distinct being, then he's even more aloof than Astinus.
> He'd probably wait until the gods had exhausted all of their options before
> stepping in. I still think he was responsible for Tas and Caramon ending
> up in the future in Test of the Twins.
as with Gilean, surely the High God would've seen it was a totally
unplanned-for situation way out of their capacities to deal with?
> >> <Oral surgeons are rip off artists in more ways than one>
> ><ouchy wisdom teeth scenario>
>
> >I take it he charged by the tooth
>
> Our family health insurance reimburses me for all expenses, so it
> was in his best interest to make the procedure as costly as possible.
and yours as well I believe. Why not punch out some of his?
> <Rohan's never read LotR and he might not want to>
> >
> >I understand for example that the characters are Masters of the
> >Universe, with moulded-on plastic jocks.
>
> The Brothers Grimm are more gritty than LotR. But Tolkein's
> characters, while bigger than life, are more like Morte D'Arthur
> than Masters of the Universe in terms of nobility and power.
isn't Morte D'Arthur the romantic medieval version? I preferred Mists
of Avalon in the sense that it was quite earthy and gave a different
perspective while keeping the same story. If you leave out the grim,
gritty stuff you tend to get a distortion of true motivations etc.
> >this is just something to sit in Hell and answer the phone anyway,
> >although maybe short forays are in the budget.
> >
> If Tak's still doing the grunt work, it'll detract, not enhance, her
> ability to manage on multiple fronts.
she gives the budget, they spend it
> >> <The difference between TSR and UN is that blackmailing the UN works>
> >>
> >> >if you'll excuse me I've got to strip my M16
> >>
> >> Boutros-Ghali has been punished enough.
> >
> >it's not for him
>
> Boutros will feel so unloved.
I can say 'I did it for him'
> >> >> ><South America sounds fun>
> >> >> <No one in Argentina will arrest Superman>
<do bullets bounce off?>
> >> There *were* 10 paramilitary cops around, you know.
> >
> >so get them to shoot at Vee and have her run behind him (A Taste of
> >Killing and Romance)
>
> Vee is on guard duty back home when I'm travelling.
Gilbert then. Smaller target and has faster reflexes
> >> >> >> <Lunch is on Spike>
<merits of souvlaki>
> >apart from the runny yoghurt sauce they do a decent job at uni. Of
> >course, last time I had it for lunch, guess what Mum cooked for dinner?
>
> Think of it as having seconds on the souvlaki. Luckily, when I was still
> at the university, I loved tunafish on a roll, which was never on Mom's dinner
> list. The caf staff even nicknamed me "Tuna."
eww. Can't stand fish, smells gross. One of these days I'll get
organised and take sandwiches.
> >> >> <The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
> <Sword clips rats who go after jailbait>
>
> >but Sean's buried that evidence. Since when does something you did
> >as a juvenile in Alaska catch up to you in NYC?
>
> Internet.
I doubt any of the people who knew he dealt drugs at school (and lived)
would have Sword's addy. Nobody can link him to the jailbait.
> >And Sean was marked for death for being a ratkin. Racist ^&&&***(s
>
> Don't worry, he'll be happier after he reincarnates into his next life.
I thought catholics didn't believe in reincarnation
> >> <Police Academy: Zed, kender/ogre?>
> >should've got an Oscar
>
> for most incoherent performance by an actor in a B-comedy.
only B? Seen Mission to Moscow?
> <The Aussie syllabus isn't heavy on the Brontes>
>
> Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights is a barrel of angst.
Adelaide is a barrel of laughs
> <If TSR was a temporary acquisition, then it makes sense that only
> maintenance investments were made.>
> >
> >but did he plan to sell Buzzards to BigBro? If I was buying something
> >like DL, I'd actually make it worth the expenditure. Otherwise why
> >didn't Hasbro buy TSR when it went bust?
>
> Market conditions and undefined strategy on the part of Hasbro. Magic
> was the hot property then and Hasbro hadn't fully defined its interactive
> strategy. Even now, Pokemon's the bigger prize in the acquisition.
bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<burns Pikachu>
> >> >> <Victoria's gold rush>
> <Quantico's in Virginia, not Maine>
>
> Geography was never big on the US syllabus.
a bunch of 2nd/3rd year students in my class thought Los Angeles and
Chicago were states.
> >> >> <Beating the competition>
> ><he's pathetic and uninteresting>
> >> >sounds like somebody I'm competing with then
> >>
> >> Well, who am I to disagree?
> >
> >I need better lures it seems
>
> It's the self esteem problem rearing its head again. The prior response
> to this particular conversation had been a compliment, you know. One
> you resisted taking btw, so, if you insist...
the blade sight is a bit painful on the soft palate
> <My cousins will validate any granny tales I tell about my sister>
> >
> >if parents are around it gets sanitised. And they wouldn't believe you.
>
> In Mercy's case, the parents are my age peers or near abouts. My closest
> friend growing up was my brother's son Eric.
so you're Dezra?
> <Yoda's alive and angry with you, Koalataur>
> >
> >Yoda didn't die, when he vanished he was going to George's office.
>
> And when he comes back, you may end up digitized as the next
> Jar Jar Binks.
so long as I get to decapitate Leo
> <Gambling addiction help is available to the poor for free so the govt
> has an interest in curing them quickly>
<self-cleaning M16>
> But relapses are expensive. It's better to get them cured and off of the
> social services list.
after that you can say they're cured and forget about them
> >> <Henry VIII's pet name for his fourth wife was the Flemish mare.>
> <Anne of Cleves played her cards right and got cash plus her life>
> >
> >she had it made. And of course for remarriage purposes she couldn't say
> >nasty things about the king, so some lucky servant...
>
> As soon as Anne agreed to the divorce, Catherine Howard was shoved
> under Henry's nose for bride consideration. Any servant coming near
> Anne would have to wear a gas mask.
Anne must have agonised over that particular decision.
> <Some nuns might have been happy to be evicted by Henry>
> >
> >the pool or the velvet swing?
>
> Both, I'd wager.
it must've been great to be a wealthy man back then
> > But then, a lot of nuns were surplus daughters, weren't they?
>
> If a woman was ugly as sin, or dad couldn't afford the dowry, it was
> off to the nunnery. The king of France had his wife retire to a convent
> because she was barren, so he could remarry. If Catherine of Aragon
> would have done that, there may not have been an Anglican Church.
I understood Catholic marriage was indissoluble, and can only be ended
by saying it was never valid.
> ><how many fingers?>
> Use the calculator on your PC. Simon can help you with it.
found it
> >you've been standing next to the angst pits for several days now,
> >haven't you?
>
> Listening to Disney's Greatest Hits, Vol II provides me with immunity.
> "Zippety Doo Dah" seems to be particularly effective.
yes, but I've secretly taken them over and the subliminals in the next
movie will encourage revolution. And what stops you from acting out
Walt's politics?
> >> >> >> <Cleaning up at WotC>
<clean bill of health>
> >> I'm sure Peter will be relieved.
> >
> >I can get something specially for him
>
> Better do it before the merger is approved by the shareholders, or Allan
> over at Hasbro will be jealous.
oh, he'll have gotten something special as well. There's a lot of me to
love.
> >> <Australian ballad>
> >> >silhouetted in the window by the moonlight. How touching.
> >> >Bugger, sling came loose.
> >>
> >> Bunsen gnaws more than just doormats.
> >
> >what's he doing in NYC?
>
> He's picking up a little package I'm sending to Melbourne. Be
> sure to open it up as soon as he comes back.
you imported my dog to courier a package back to me? So he can get
blown up on return?
> ><how many blocs and where's he shit?>
<big pile o' shit>
> >guess who gets to put it on the compost heap?
>
> I hear getting close to compost makes you lucky. Have any success
> with the lottery?
nope. I did however cathartically stab a scratchie
<cats walk themselves>
> >and occasionally Spike's inside at night and hence legal.
>
> You mean Spike can get hauled away if he's caught outside? You're
> right, Australia's a police state.
the council doesn't like cats roaming the night. Something to do with
not being native fauna.
> >> >> < Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
<hunter wouldn't look>
> >but Sturm was just a bloody pervert. What about noise?
>
> Evangelical healing service.
gimme that old time religion and look a good !@#$ in the face
> >Sturm getting frustrated enough to forget the law?
>
> More like bending it a bit. Like he did when he fooled around with Kit.
sounds like another retrospective thing, without much thought. I'm
inclined to say she drugged him.
> <Rohan's never seen the Omen>
>
> >it was on South Park
>
> That was pretty funny, but I still think the original Mr. Hanky episode's
> the best. It was good all around parody.
howdy ho. The episode where Wendy fought for her man also rocked.
<fratricide... what's killing your own noninfant kids?>
> Good question. If I get my hands on a dictionary I'll let you know.
please do so. Make it the Oxford Unabridged and bench it.
> <Augustus made a cuckold be the best man at his wife's wedding.>
> >naughty
>
> At least there's no evidence of his sleeping with his close relatives. Livia,
> his wife, would have made a great Sargonnas. She eventually poisons
> Augustus by spraying poison on figs while they were still on the tree,
> since Augustus would not eat any food he didn't pick for himself.
I'd be inclined to keep key people under control with a designer drug
only I have the formula for.
> >> >> <Continuity error between DoWN and the Soulforge>
> <Officer Miller's on the case>
>
> >> Steve's bringing Stan! and an armored tank?
> >
> >say 'hi' to my Apache gunship
>
> Keep that up and only Rabe will be left to continue DL.
she's already faced the press
> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
> >we've only got a shower cubicle upstairs
>
> Even better. You can shut the door and prevent splatters. But not
> having a bathtub is a shame. They're the best thing for relaxing muscles.
maybe I should come around to your place then
> >> >> <Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
> <Gilon wasn't around because he was afraid of Kit>
>
> >probably in a state of Kit-induced contempt, if Cazza was capable.
>
> That pre-natal LSD trip left Caramon incapable of having any emotion
> stronger than befuddlement.
of course, he just good-naturedly scorned Gilon's existence
> <what about character assassination?>
> >>
> >> My character has a 19 Constitution score.
> >
> >and her Charisma? Dirty little secrets?
>
> An air of mystery does not detract from Charisma, but enhances it.
and what if Sword finds or manufactures her (figurative) dirty laundry?
> >> <The worst thing the US gov't did to Altarielle was raise her taxes>
<rightswise the banana republics are tending to progress better>
> Paying teachers $300 a month and shooting them when they protest is
> not progress. If you could show me which of my individual rights is being
> encroached on by the government, I might be able to see your PoV.
they're at least progressing. Although the rights level is unenviable,
I'd like to have the *rate* things are being fixed. Taking away a
person's freedom to do something without a reason anchored firmly in the
Clear and Present Danger doctrine is morally wrong and creates a
tyrannical precedent. Anti-culture laws (such as the gun laws in Oz)
are a prime example. I understand Waco was primarily about the federal
government asserting it's authority.
> ><Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
<Henry the Impotent>
> >that'll teach them
>
> It certainly did -- "avoid the old bugger until he can't bugger you."
why am I thinking his later years were dominated by disabled women?
> >> <Bunsen's more of a teenager than a puppy>
> Dogs are so cute when they wake up and start padding about
> the house like miniature tornadoes.
he only runs when chasing something or on the end of the lead. Bastard.
> <Privatization forces companies to be lean and mean>
>
> >on the other hand, you have to pay about six hundred bucks to own what
> >you did three years ago. Public utilities should be run like any other
> >business, and kept so the shareholders (voters) actually benefit in the
> >future.
>
> But at least I'm paying my rightful share of the utility bill, and not
> subsidizing someone else's expenditures via my taxes.
user-pays makes sense (except for when the user can't reasonably pay for
what they reasonably need), and it's a separate issue to privatisation.
Running a govt utility like a business doesn't mean featherbedding;
apart from recognising their primary duty is to the constituency, their
job's to generate a profit.
> >> >> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
> <A shark can knock out both the pup and the navigator>
>
> >grenade
>
> If you can take your mind off of the fact that last bite turned you into
> Captain Hook.
I'm definitely thinking sawnoff shotgun here
> <Crysania would focus on forcing the KoS to revise the Measure in the
> first 10 years after the WotL>
>
> Those first years would be spent rebuilding Palanthas, which Kit totaled,
> and dealing with an influx of novices into the Church of Paladine.
she has subordinates for those needs. Her job is to act as Paladine's
hand on Ansalon. And Paladine knows the KoS have to be fixed NOW.
> ><Billary's probably lost NY>
<Monica lives there too>
> >be there with a camcorder and flak jacket
>
> Don't know if I could remain uninvolved. Hil's a pill but I think Monica is
> disgusting.
so pick a weapon and pick a side
> <Who deals with continuity when DL is only peripherally involved?>
> >
> >TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!!!
>
> Take a few deep breaths, and pass the gun over to Ros nice and slowly...
<SPINNNNNNN>
your turn
> <The elves wouldn't have pushed the KoS because time went so slowly
> for them that it would seem like a bum's rush.>
> >
> >elves are as prone to knee-jerk as anybody else; they kicked off the
> >Kinslayer war before Ergoth was buggering the tortoises. In any event,
> >most baby boomers formed their beliefs when they were about my age.
>
> The Kinslayer war was all about elves, though.
however, it didn't take them a year to decide to go to war
And as for baby boomer
> beliefs, Porthios' opinion of humans didn't mellow with age. The baby
> boomer humans would have been impressed with the need to restore
> the KoS to its pre-Cataclysm prestige.
embodied in the real interpretation of the Measure.
<persecution and no High Clerist>
> >I'd imagine that would've made them rethink some of their dumber rules
>
> Maybe. Or wear their hearts on their armor and think to hell with it, being
> in the KoS is something to be proud of. Like Raistlin's living in his robes
> to show everyone that he was a mage and proud of it.
I doubt he would've been mistaken for a farmer. And the KoS survived
those 300 years...
> >> <Literary quality is not synonymous with best seller>
<Spine of the World actually about Wulfgar?>
> It has Wulfgar's baby blues peering out a jail cell on the cover, at any
> rate. But we both know that covers often have absolutely nothing
> to do with the story.
in Passage to Dawn and Legacy of the Darksword it gave it away...
> ><compromise candidate?>
> Gunthar and Derek's camps were diametrically opposed, so what would
> you define as a compromise candidate? Especially since Derek was
> gifted with the ability to invent plausible, yet dangerous > interpretations of the Measure?
perhaps a good point. However, all this was because only the Crown
knights had an acknowledged leader...
> ><Laurana ain't Ce'Nedra>
> Laurana was always more accepting than either of her brothers,
> so Elistan's teachings were more of a confirmation of her own
> innate goodness. But Laurana didn't lose herself into Paladine's
> teachings so much that she put her need for hearth and home
> behind her need to help others.
wouldn't she and Tanis prefer to dump it all then? Thirty years on
you'd have to be doing it for love.
<Lozza in obscurity?>
> Laurana did her part as a shuttle diplomat, as you pointed out, but it
> was in the service of the elves. And she appeared to be more of a
> homebody than Tanis, per Gil's descriptions of their relationship.
didn't Tanis catch her trying to write a letter on their 'day off'?
Sounds like a workaholic.
> >> >> <The next DL generation of fans>
> >but wouldn't they be asking questions? The list's more rules-oriented
> >than here after all. I can still remember my canon defn being
> >extrapolated to having SAGA as the only canonical game system.
>
> The novel fans wouldn't ask about the games. And we are getting a lot
> of Raistlin related questions.
some of which I bother to read
> And you're forgetting how fearsome you could be before you mellowed
> upon reaching 21 ;-)
I wasn't *that* bad. I try to use logic is all.
> >the integrity of the world is the *most important* consideration if
> >you've read more than a single series. Authors unable to be consistent
> >with themselves is actually happening.
>
> We all pick our personal canons. It's not something that I like to do, but
> since the DL universe on the whole makes for good reading, I make
> do with what I have.
canon should be obvious and adhered to. I shouldn't have to make my own
arcane canon rules.
> And even single author universes are inconsistent. Take the Dragonriders
> of Pern. Anne McCaffrey had F'Nor go back in time and seed the Southern
> Continent with livestock that must have been Thread-resistant, since they
> were able to thrive without shelter of any kind.
but she's been writing that for years, hasn't she? She certainly
doesn't have the resources TSR has. She's not part of a team after all.
<we've got GREAT support material from TSR>
> The research is only as good as the material that's available. And
> since authors are not the most well paid of people, the time they can
> spend on checking continuity is minimal. Besides, it's TSR's editing
> staff that should own most of that responsibility.
that's about right. Although it's clear that Niles and W&H have
deliberately tried to sabotage other sources.
> >> >> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
> <Explanation of a BYOC game>
> >
> >depends. The campaign I'd run would be based on what the characters do
> >(so we can actually have multiple alignment types working together etc),
> >but if you have a specific mission in mind some discipline is needed.
>
> I agree with the discipline piece. It's things that go against the grain of a
> character, like forcing a Lawful Good cleric to kill someone from behind, that
> bug me.
the idea is that the game actually relies on player input. Some
guidelines have to be set (cops, can't be strictly Lawful or truly
Chaotic or Evil). If there's no specific quest in mind they're not
forced to do anything.
> >how the hell did Morten do it?
>
> He is back, so maybe he'll tell you himself.
dash it all
> >I don't go much deeper than internal organs
>
> Dr Moreau crossbred animals and humans.
the fun way?
> >> <My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
<witnesses?>
> >I've got a grenade launcher as well.
>
> You can fire away after I've gotten my settlement.
I'll be there for you
> ><Simon's birthday?>
> <Mom, I've blown up my baby brother>
>
> You'd miss him too much if you did that.
he does give me a certain perspective on my life
<Sean, pussyslayer>
> I'd have to help her out then. It's a good thing his tail is flammable too.
that's what you think. And he's certainly seen you coming.
> >> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
<WHAT DID HE SAY???!!>
> He'll discuss the poofiness policy on Saturday, if you're free.
Saturday morning I'm getting my machete sharpened, see him later?
> >> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
> >but then Sword can just whack Rupert.
>
> Rupert can bankroll Sword and Sword will find some moral justification
> for it.
Sword is a little less tolerant than Sean.
> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
> >
> >what've you got against Sean's vibrissae?
>
> They'll make lovely candle wicks in the event of a Y2K blackout.
you realise how much that'd HURT?
> >> >> >> ><combat hairties>
> >whatever. To remove my feet you need to dismount from the porch.
>
> Since you've established that I have a tail, I could always snake it
> between the railings.
since when have you had a tail? Pussycat pussycat...
<Buzzards investment down>
> >take it out on them with a baseball bat
>
> I'll try judicious heckling at the stockholders' meeting first.
don't forget your mini-uzi.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
<begging required>
> >Amex okay?
>
> LOL. You are quite the unknowning psychic sometimes. But yes, I take
> Amex.
I guess I'd better get Amex then
> >> <There are lots of S&M playmates out there>
> >> That's probably the reason Lucy and Ricky slept in different beds.
> >
> >I thought it was neurotic censorship
>
> That's what they want you to think. Babaloo-Aye is a cuban voodoo god.
Satan!!!!!!!!!!<braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat>
> >I think I'll go read something on adoption law then
>
> Trying to see if you can stop Morten from changing your name to
> Brattbakk?
he can't do that anyway. Can't do that to babies iirc.
> ><what happens when you don't drive>
<suicide NYC style>
> >sounds great if you hate a lot of people
>
> Yuck. If I ever contemplated suicide, I would not want to go out as mulch
> in the NYC subway system.
not when you can kidnap a gorilla and climb the Empire State Building.
> >you don't want to get near my uncle, especially not in a pinafore
> >
> thought you said not to go there?
warning you why
> ><five gold stars = scent sample>
<giving Bunsen a blast>
> ><sluuuuurp>
>
> Such a cuddly little pup. <sniffle>
<cuddle, cuddle>
found it!
> >games last until people lose interest. Somehow he got a game and I
> >didn't
>
> The sun'll come out tomorrow, clear away the cobwebs and the sorrow...
how about I pick you up in my cab and take you to a movie?
<chook cooked on angst pits>
> Why do I have the sudden urge to write DL fan fic loaded with drug imagery?
because you're totally freaked out? I don't do that do I? Remember,
the tag line is "Yo, Bitch!"
<she's got it in for Sean>
> >you seem to be underestimating just how paranoid I am
>
> No. I've just got inside info on the level of defenses I have to deal with.
you *really* think that's reliable?
> <Simon regulates the amount of screaming allowed upstairs>
> >
> >only on special occasions
>
> Such as?
when I've got a Bowie to his throat?
> >>><why do I keep playing Catholics?>
<Catholicism's like the Measure>
> >Mainly he was going from mundane morality - if he doesn't sell it
> >somebody else will, and he needs the money
>
> He chose the sin of commission over the sin of omission. That one's
> in the catechism too.
he's good at rationalisation, and he needed the money. He's about to
set up a phone sex line run by nuns.
> >>> >> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
<nitro???>
> >something that fits in my pocket. I'm not that suicidal
>
> I knew there had to be a self preservation instinct buried somewhere in there.
it comes out at the most inconvenient times
<Altie caused Floyd?>
> Those rain dances sure work. And you thought they were silly.
no, I was just buying time for Scully to turn up
> >don't worry, I'm only stalking you.
>
> Aww, how sweet.
you look delectable
> >I did get to kiss a lot of women I'm related to today as we had our
> >birthday present-swapping gettogether in an inner city pub
>
> Cool. Get anything unusual?
Mardi's lips, a pendant with my name spelled in hieroglyphs (I'm
suspicious) which she brought back from her Eurotour, the donkey's butt
(diagonal ridge in paper next to it), enough lollies to stave off the
Crown Lager and red wine I had before lunch (I was munching jubes before
the meal 'cause nothing else was around), a cute and tasty quail, and
further lollies plus y2k keyring. I got my loot at my 21st, incl car,
hip flask, binoculars, big beer glasses and tequila.
> <Aussies are waiting for Jeff's other shoe to drop.>
> >
> >thrill me thrill me fulfill me
>
> Madonnas fulfill only after the wedding.
*_BUGGER_*
> >Rohan "drunkosaur" Tolstrup
>
> Whatever happped to teetotalling?
Sunday lunch. If you don't drink much, don't start suddenly on a nearly
empty stomach. I wasn't able to exercise before leaving this morning,
so I ended up walking Bunsen about a kilometre.
Rohan Tolstrup, playing Russian Roulette with a grenade launcher
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
><how did *our* world actually come about?>
>> Tak and Fiz will not give you the same story. Tak will lie outright, Fiz
>> may hide things when convenient.
>
>some mortals will be smart enough to suss the truth
But if you can't believe the gods, who'll believe a mortal?
>
><can easily check if those stars have planets>
>
>Raistlin could scry. It's a knowable fact.
The dragon orb might know, but it was created by Fist, so it's objectivity is
questionable. And if Raistlin couldn't figure out that following Fist meant
sharing his death, even he may not be sharp enough to discover the truth.
>
><Reader's Companion of canon>
>
<Enforce canon by fixing and republishing heretical novels>
And if you think the timeline doesn't move now, it will crawl at a snail's
pace if the "non-canonical" books are touched up. And what happens
when Chronicles is reprinted and Ariakas is a cleric?
>
><writers don't own DL, don't blame them>
>the buck has to stop somewhere. Shoddy editing practice is probably
>mostly to blame, but authors should be required to do their research.
Through 80 inconsistent novels? Plus gaming material? They'd never
get their books on a reasonable schedule. You're proposing Groundhog
Day.
>
><WTF with RotBS?>
><deus ex machina>
>the traditional explanation is fine. They're on other planes. Takhy
>seems to be building up in FR.
Spreading rumors? The gods seem to be too obsessed with Krynn to
take their attention from it for long.
>
>> <Chaos and the High God might be at war, but Chaos fought the kids in
>> DoSF to punish them>
><High God would've stepped in>
<The High God helps those who help themselves>
>as with Gilean, surely the High God would've seen it was a totally
>unplanned-for situation way out of their capacities to deal with?
But deal with it they did. It could have been a Kobiyashi Maru kind of test,
or the High God may have wanted to see if saving Krynn was worth it.
>
>> >> <Oral surgeons are rip off artists in more ways than one>
>> ><ouchy wisdom teeth scenario>
>>
<Yanking out healthy teeth racks up the profit margin>
>
>and yours as well I believe. Why not punch out some of his?
I've got to shell the dollars out first, and the idea of being under anesthesia
for longer than I have to bugs me. Because I do get the bill, he can't add
any of his own teeth to sweeten the deal.
>
>> <Rohan's never read LotR and he might not want to>
>> >
>> >I understand for example that the characters are Masters of the
>> >Universe, with moulded-on plastic jocks.
>>
<LotR is populated by lots of Sir Galahad types>
>
>isn't Morte D'Arthur the romantic medieval version? I preferred Mists
>of Avalon in the sense that it was quite earthy and gave a different
>perspective while keeping the same story. If you leave out the grim,
>gritty stuff you tend to get a distortion of true motivations etc.
Morte D'Arthur is big on chivalric romance, but I was thinking more in
terms of how it defined the archetypes of the perfect knight, the goodly
king, and the fallen friend.
Marion would have been a tad too earthy for JRR. Didn't she have
Guinevere in a clinch with Arthur and Lancelot in that book?
>
<Minions as Krynnish temps>
>> >
>> If Tak's still doing the grunt work, it'll detract, not enhance, her
>> ability to manage on multiple fronts.
>
>she gives the budget, they spend it
And what happens if they're pressed by mortals before she can replenish
the data?
>
<Boutros-Ghali Unbowed (it's out in Borders now)>
>
>I can say 'I did it for him'
You'll earn a place on Letterman's Top Ten List.
>
>> >> >> ><South America sounds fun>
>> >> >> <No one in Argentina will arrest Superman>
><do bullets bounce off?>
<Vee's grounded, so she'll never know>
>
>Gilbert then. Smaller target and has faster reflexes
The frat boys will want to keep him as a mascot.
>
>> >> >> >> <Lunch is on Spike>
><merits of souvlaki>
<You're underestimating tunafish on a roll with crisps>
>
>eww. Can't stand fish, smells gross. One of these days I'll get
>organised and take sandwiches.
Sandwiches can be a bother though, especially if you've got to lug a lot of
books. I still have tuna at Au Bon Pan on a braided roll. And I brush and use
Altoids after so I don't knock out anybody.
There's a neighborhood Italian place that makes powerful garlic bread. Now
that's something that can kill a sivak at 20 paces.
>> >> >> <The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
>> <Sword clips rats who go after jailbait>
<Searched for Sword on Yahoo>
>
>I doubt any of the people who knew he dealt drugs at school (and lived)
>would have Sword's addy. Nobody can link him to the jailbait.
Noriega sold him out.
>
<The rat'll be happier in his next life>
>
>I thought catholics didn't believe in reincarnation
No one's ever explained purgatory to me in a satisfactory fashion. It's
not a required article of faith, so I'm not in line for excommunication.
>
>> >> <Police Academy: Zed, kender/ogre?>
>> >should've got an Oscar
>>
>> for most incoherent performance by an actor in a B-comedy.
>
>only B? Seen Mission to Moscow?
No I haven't. And somehow, I think the B rating will stick.
>
>> <The Aussie syllabus isn't heavy on the Brontes>
>>
>> Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights is a barrel of angst.
>
>Adelaide is a barrel of laughs
The place or the person?
>
>> <If TSR was a temporary acquisition, then it makes sense that only
>> maintenance investments were made.>
>> >
<Hasbro is thinking Pokemon first, everything else second>
>
>bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
><burns Pikachu>
Another rat bites the dust.
>
<Geography's losing ground in the global syllabus.>
>
>a bunch of 2nd/3rd year students in my class thought Los Angeles and
>Chicago were states.
Things tend to get confusing when items like the London Bridge are
relocated to a desert in Arizona, of all places.
>
>> >> >> <Beating the competition>
>> ><he's pathetic and uninteresting>
<if you can't beat him, join him>
>>
>> It's the self esteem problem rearing its head again. The prior response
>> to this particular conversation had been a compliment, you know. One
>> you resisted taking btw, so, if you insist...
>
>the blade sight is a bit painful on the soft palate
You call *that* a better lure?
>
>> <My cousins will validate any granny tales I tell about my sister>
<I grew up with most of my nieces and nephews>
>
>so you're Dezra?
Riding a horse means something different to her than it does to me.
>
<Rohan reincarnates as Jar Jar>
>
>so long as I get to decapitate Leo
Darth Jar Jar? What a scary thought.
>
>> <Gambling addiction help is available to the poor for free so the govt
>> has an interest in curing them quickly and relapses cost money>
><self-cleaning M16>
>after that you can say they're cured and forget about them
Unfortunately that happens all too often to psychotics. Gambling addicts
can get themselves back on the rolls fairly easily.
>
>> <Anne of Cleves played her cards right and got cash plus her life>
>> >
<Henry VIII was onto wife #5 before the ink was dry on the divorce papers>
>
<Oxygen masks were required to bed Anne of Cleves>
>Anne must have agonised over that particular decision.
She ended up being a popular auntie to Henry's kids. It makes sense
that the only two women he didn't kill had powerful relates -- Catherine of
Aragon's nephew was the Holy Roman Emperor, and Anne of Cleves' father
was an influential Protestant german prince.
>
>> <Some nuns might have been happy to be evicted by Henry>
>it must've been great to be a wealthy man back then
Elizabeth did not do too badly.
>
<Unmarriable women were forced to become nuns and so were barren
Queens>
>
>I understood Catholic marriage was indissoluble, and can only be ended
>by saying it was never valid.
Apparently an exception was made if a married woman later discovered
that she was married to God before she was married to her king.
>
>> ><how many fingers?>
>> Use the calculator on your PC. Simon can help you with it.
>
>found it
Here's another hint -- it's less than five.
>
<"Zippety Doo Dah" as angst pit mood music>
>yes, but I've secretly taken them over and the subliminals in the next
>movie will encourage revolution. And what stops you from acting out
>Walt's politics?
There are no talking tea cups or shady dwarves to influence my thinking.
>
>> >> >> >> <Cleaning up at WotC>
><clean bill of health>
>> >> I'm sure Peter will be relieved.
>> >
>> >I can get something specially for him
>>
>> Better do it before the merger is approved by the shareholders, or Allan
>> over at Hasbro will be jealous.
>
>oh, he'll have gotten something special as well. There's a lot of me to
>love.
That's probably the overall feeling down in Renton as a whole.
>
>> >> <Australian ballad>
>> >> >silhouetted in the window by the moonlight. How touching.
>> >> >Bugger, sling came loose.
>> >>
>> >> Bunsen gnaws more than just doormats.
>> >
>> >what's he doing in NYC?
>>
>> He's picking up a little package I'm sending to Melbourne. Be
>> sure to open it up as soon as he comes back.
>
>you imported my dog to courier a package back to me? So he can get
>blown up on return?
I don't know how he got here -- he's quite a retriever. But it would be rude
of me to send him home empty handed.
>
>> ><how many blocs and where's he shit?>
>
>> >guess who gets to put it on the compost heap?
>>
>> I hear getting close to compost makes you lucky. Have any success
>> with the lottery?
>
>nope. I did however cathartically stab a scratchie
The most I've ever won with one of those is 10 bucks.
>
><cats walk themselves>
<Australia declares martial law on felines>
>
>the council doesn't like cats roaming the night. Something to do with
>not being native fauna.
It's not the cats' fault that they were brought over. And I would imagine
they are now as indoctrinated as the dingo.
>
>> >> >> < Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
><hunter wouldn't look>
>> >but Sturm was just a bloody pervert. What about noise?
>>
>> Evangelical healing service.
>
>gimme that old time religion and look a good !@#$ in the face
Allelluia neighbor..
>
>> >Sturm getting frustrated enough to forget the law?
>>
>> More like bending it a bit. Like he did when he fooled around with Kit.
>
>sounds like another retrospective thing, without much thought. I'm
>inclined to say she drugged him.
I think it was Jaimie who said that Sturm may have let a crush get the
better of him and I like that idea. It's how Sturm handles it later that's out
of character.
>
>> <Rohan's never seen the Omen>
>>
>> >it was on South Park
>>
>> That was pretty funny, but I still think the original Mr. Hanky episode's
>> the best. It was good all around parody.
>
>howdy ho. The episode where Wendy fought for her man also rocked.
>
><fratricide... what's killing your own noninfant kids?>
<I'm still looking it up. My dictionary's at work>
>
>> <Augustus made a cuckold be the best man at his wife's wedding.>
>> >naughty
>>
<Livia Augusta had a way with pharmaceuticals>
>
>I'd be inclined to keep key people under control with a designer drug
>only I have the formula for.
If they'd been able to do that, the Roman empire would not have fallen.
>
>> >> >> <Continuity error between DoWN and the Soulforge>
>> <Officer Miller's on the case>
>>
>> >> Steve's bringing Stan! and an armored tank?
>> >
>> >say 'hi' to my Apache gunship
>>
>> Keep that up and only Rabe will be left to continue DL.
>
>she's already faced the press
But she's hungry for revenge.
>
>> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
>> >we've only got a shower cubicle upstairs
<bathtubs rock>
>maybe I should come around to your place then
I'll leave the bubble bath on the sink.
>> >> >> <Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
>> <Gilon wasn't around because he was afraid of Kit>
>>
<Caramon nicely ignored Gilon>
>
They must have had some kind of a relationship, since Raistlin was envious
even of that. That's what I never understood about Raistlin -- he hated
Caramon for being friendly with people Raistlin would never give the time of
day to.
>
>> <what about character assassination?>
>> >>
>> >> My character has a 19 Constitution score.
>> >
>> >and her Charisma? Dirty little secrets?
>>
>> An air of mystery does not detract from Charisma, but enhances it.
>
>and what if Sword finds or manufactures her (figurative) dirty laundry?
He'd have to be a heck of a (figurative) seamstress to sew up a Madonna's
undies.
>
>> >> <The worst thing the US gov't did to Altarielle was raise her taxes>
><rightswise the banana republics are tending to progress better>
<Give me an example of an infringed right>
>
<The rate, if not the level of, acquisition of human rights in banana republics
is enviable. Governments are out to legislate culture>
There's a difference between having the right to carry firearms and allowing a
dangerous fringe group the ability to harm the majority who don't believe in
what they stand for. They're terrorists, and should be treated the same way
as the WTC bombers.
>> ><Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
><Henry the Impotent>
>> >that'll teach them
>>
>> It certainly did -- "avoid the old bugger until he can't bugger you."
>
>why am I thinking his later years were dominated by disabled women?.
The next to last wife was twentyish, and it was his lack of spark that
led her to commit adultery.
>
>> >> <Bunsen's more of a teenager than a puppy>
>> Dogs are so cute when they wake up and start padding about
>> the house like miniature tornadoes.
>
>he only runs when chasing something or on the end of the lead. Bastard.
He's only out to add some spark to your exercise routine.
>
>> <Privatization forces companies to be lean and mean>
>>
<Privatization causes inflation, but at least I'm paying only my own
share of the bill>
>>
<Paying your fair share is okay, as long as you reasonably can. But that
doesn't mean govt utilities don't have a profit motive.>
If a company relies on gov't funds, they know that there is a guaranteed cash
flow regardless of how poorly they do. A private concern doesn't know where
it's next dollar is coming from, figuratively speaking, so it works to generate
self-sustaining profits.
>
>> >> >> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
>> <A shark can knock out both the pup and the navigator>
>>
>> >grenade
>>
>> If you can take your mind off of the fact that last bite turned you into
>> Captain Hook.
>
>I'm definitely thinking sawnoff shotgun here
I guess you could tuck it under your chin and use your one remaining
hand to take a shot.
>
>> <Crysania would focus on forcing the KoS to revise the Measure in the
>> first 10 years after the WotL>
>>
>> Those first years would be spent rebuilding Palanthas, which Kit totaled,
>> and dealing with an influx of novices into the Church of Paladine.
>
>she has subordinates for those needs. Her job is to act as Paladine's
>hand on Ansalon. And Paladine knows the KoS have to be fixed NOW.
The whole point of her ordeal was Raistlin was that she finally learned to
have compassion for others. Since we are talking the first 10 years,
Crysania would have to spend time building up her own Church and
training new clerics, since many must have perished during Kit's assault.
And a city that never knew devastation would certainly need her immediate
spiritual guidance.
>
>> ><Billary's probably lost NY>
><Monica lives there too>
>> >be there with a camcorder and flak jacket
>>
>> Don't know if I could remain uninvolved. Hil's a pill but I think Monica
>is disgusting.
>
>so pick a weapon and pick a side
That's like a choice between Earwig Lockpicker and Uncle Trapspringer.
>
>> <Who deals with continuity when DL is only peripherally involved?>
>> >
>> >TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!!!
>>
>> Take a few deep breaths, and pass the gun over to Ros nice and slowly...
>
><SPINNNNNNN>
>
>your turn
<click>
Oops. Just send me the dry cleaning bill, okay?
>
>> <The elves wouldn't have pushed the KoS because time went so slowly
>> for them that it would seem like a bum's rush.>
<It didn't take the elves a year to begin the Kinslayer War>
>
But it was a conflict among their kin, and therefore of much more
importance than the well being of humans.
>
<Baby boomer KoS want to return the KoS to its pre-Cataclysm prestige>
>
>embodied in the real interpretation of the Measure.
They'd like to enjoy the prestige they had in Istar's heyday, but the
interpretation of the Measure would be clearly the one that's evolved
post Cataclysm. They would embrace the discipline that enabled them
to survive the ignominy of the past couple of centuries.
>
><persecution and no High Clerist>
>> >I'd imagine that would've made them rethink some of their dumber rules
>>
<The KoS may have been proud of keeping to the Measure throughout their
persecution.>
>
>I doubt he would've been mistaken for a farmer. And the KoS survived
>those 300 years...
In that instance, the rigidity of the Measure may have actually served to keep
them together by providing a common bond with spelled out rules.
>
>> >> <Literary quality is not synonymous with best seller>
><Spine of the World actually about Wulfgar?>
<Cover art may have nothing to do with the story?
>
>in Passage to Dawn and Legacy of the Darksword it gave it away...
Bad judgement to spoil the plot. But at least it was related to the book.
>
>> ><compromise candidate?>
<How can one compromise with two extreme points of view?>
>
>perhaps a good point. However, all this was because only the Crown
>knights had an acknowledged leader...
True. But so few knights were willing to move the knighthood forward,
especially with the war casting an unaccustomed spotlight on them.
>
>> ><Laurana ain't Ce'Nedra>
<Laurana was a natural candidate for Elistan's teachings, but she was not
going to put having a home ahead of saving the world>
>
>wouldn't she and Tanis prefer to dump it all then? Thirty years on
>you'd have to be doing it for love.
Tanis and Laurana were the Krynnish version of a power couple. Sharing
the same type of job strengthens your bond with your husband. Besides
Tanis and Laurana lived through the ugly side of war, and it makes sense
that they would do their best to prevent their homes from being ravaged
again.
>
><Lozza in obscurity?>
>> Laurana did her part as a shuttle diplomat, as you pointed out, but it
>> was in the service of the elves. And she appeared to be more of a
>> homebody than Tanis, per Gil's descriptions of their relationship.
>
>didn't Tanis catch her trying to write a letter on their 'day off'?
>Sounds like a workaholic.
Laurana carted the kid with her since there was no Krynnish day care.
And she spent more time with her relatives in Qualinesti and Silvanesti.
>
>> >> >> <The next DL generation of fans>
<If the fans are out there, why aren't we hearing from them?>
>
>> And you're forgetting how fearsome you could be before you mellowed
>> upon reaching 21 ;-)
>
>I wasn't *that* bad. I try to use logic is all.
The newbie reaction to you was always interesting. They hated being
flamed, but they often came back for more, in a somewhat naive hope
that one can bully a dino of flame. That's a rite of newsgroup passage,
I guess. Even my cat knew enough to run from flames.
>
<Authors unable to be consistent with themselves is what's happening>
>>
<Pick your canon and you can still enjoy the shared world>
>
>canon should be obvious and adhered to. I shouldn't have to make my own
>arcane canon rules.
But we're already knee deep in contradictions. What's done is done and I
can't change it, so I may as well vent and move on.
>
<Single world authors, like McCaffrey, have committed canon sins of
their own>
>
>but she's been writing that for years, hasn't she? She certainly
>doesn't have the resources TSR has. She's not part of a team after all.
But there is no one other than Anne who can come in and arbitrarily
disregard the framework of Pern, either. Granted, Anne's a victim of
technology, since the first Pern stories came out before neither you nor I were
glints in our parents' eyes, and computers were not in fashion, but if
she was going to write about super computers, she should have given it
the same attention she gave Thread, and been more accurate because no
one else was there to muck things up.
>
><we've got GREAT support material from TSR>
<Agreed, and that's why authors have a tough time of it>
>
>that's about right. Although it's clear that Niles and W&H have
>deliberately tried to sabotage other sources.
Granted, there is a bit of writer's pride there. But that's where a readers'
companion defining truth vs fiction would come in handy. Authors would
be free to write any story that they please without mucking up the official
time line.
>
>> >> >> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
>> <Explanation of a BYOC game>
>> >
>the idea is that the game actually relies on player input. Some
>guidelines have to be set (cops, can't be strictly Lawful or truly
>Chaotic or Evil). If there's no specific quest in mind they're not
>forced to do anything.
Agreed. That's why I'd only bring in established characters if I respected
the DM enough to handle the situation the right way.
>
>> >how the hell did Morten do it?
>>
>> He is back, so maybe he'll tell you himself.
>
>dash it all
He's dashing it all right. Richard Knaak got the brunt of the dash.
>
>> >I don't go much deeper than internal organs
>>
>> Dr Moreau crossbred animals and humans.
>
>the fun way?
He shared your fondness for experimentation, too.
>
>> >> <My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
><witnesses?>
>> >I've got a grenade launcher as well.
>>
>> You can fire away after I've gotten my settlement.
>
>I'll be there for you
I knew I could count on you.
>
>> ><Simon's birthday?>
>> <Mom, I've blown up my baby brother>
>>
>> You'd miss him too much if you did that.
>
>he does give me a certain perspective on my life
Awww, how brotherly.
>
><Sean, pussyslayer>
>> I'd have to help her out then. It's a good thing his tail is flammable
>too.
>
>that's what you think. And he's certainly seen you coming.
Good. I hate dropping in uninvited.
>
>> >> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
><WHAT DID HE SAY???!!>
>> He'll discuss the poofiness policy on Saturday, if you're free.
>
>Saturday morning I'm getting my machete sharpened, see him later?
Ricky says he'll be there and ready to live la vida loca.
>
>> >> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
>> >but then Sword can just whack Rupert.
>>
>> Rupert can bankroll Sword and Sword will find some moral justification
>> for it.
>
>Sword is a little less tolerant than Sean.
If he can get that nun thing going, Sword'll definitely see the good works
he put Rupert's bankroll towards.
>
>> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
>> >
>> >what've you got against Sean's vibrissae?
>>
>> They'll make lovely candle wicks in the event of a Y2K blackout.
>
>you realise how much that'd HURT?
Oh yeah, baby.
>
>> >> >> >> ><combat hairties>
>> >whatever. To remove my feet you need to dismount from the porch.
>>
>> Since you've established that I have a tail, I could always snake it
>> between the railings.
>
>since when have you had a tail? Pussycat pussycat...
I've frightened a wererat under your chair. Apparently the tail sprouted
sometime during this thread.
>
><Buzzards investment down>
>> >take it out on them with a baseball bat
>>
>> I'll try judicious heckling at the stockholders' meeting first.
>
>don't forget your mini-uzi.
I prefer something I can stash in a boot.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
><begging required>
>> >Amex okay?
>>
>> LOL. You are quite the unknowning psychic sometimes. But yes, I take
>> Amex.
>
>I guess I'd better get Amex then
Good. That's one of my other stock holdings.
>
>> >> <There are lots of S&M playmates out there>
>> >> That's probably the reason Lucy and Ricky slept in different beds.
>> >
>> >I thought it was neurotic censorship
>>
>> That's what they want you to think. Babaloo-Aye is a cuban voodoo god.
>
>Satan!!!!!!!!!!<braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat>
Not far off the mark there.
Actually that's a true about the voodoo god. Desi Arnaz pledged to mention
Babaloo every chance he got if I Love Lucy made it big.
>> >I think I'll go read something on adoption law then
>>
>> Trying to see if you can stop Morten from changing your name to
>> Brattbakk?
>
>he can't do that anyway. Can't do that to babies iirc.
How do you explain the females of the Brady Bunch all taking on the last name
"Brady?"
>
>> ><what happens when you don't drive>
><suicide NYC style>
>> >sounds great if you hate a lot of people
>>
>> Yuck. If I ever contemplated suicide, I would not want to go out as mulch
>> in the NYC subway system.
>
>not when you can kidnap a gorilla and climb the Empire State Building.
That wouldn't be suicidal -- that's a rush. It should be made into a theme park
ride.
>
<Stay away from my uncle>
Remind me to sit safely next to your Mom at family gatherings.
>
>> ><five gold stars = scent sample>
><giving Bunsen a blast>
>> ><sluuuuurp>
>>
>> Such a cuddly little pup. <sniffle>
>
><cuddle, cuddle>
>found it!
You stuck your hands down there?? Ewww.
>
>> >games last until people lose interest. Somehow he got a game and I
>> >didn't
>>
>> The sun'll come out tomorrow, clear away the cobwebs and the sorrow...
>
>how about I pick you up in my cab and take you to a movie?
As long as it's not Stigmata. Saw it, and it's straight to video fodder.
>
><chook cooked on angst pits>
>> Why do I have the sudden urge to write DL fan fic loaded with drug imagery?
>
>because you're totally freaked out? I don't do that do I? Remember,
>the tag line is "Yo, Bitch!"
I'm not that far under the influence. But why am I thinking Mt. Nevermind is a
giant bong?
>
><she's got it in for Sean>
>> >you seem to be underestimating just how paranoid I am
>>
>> No. I've just got inside info on the level of defenses I have to deal with.
>
>you *really* think that's reliable?
It's been working so far.
>
>> <Simon regulates the amount of screaming allowed upstairs>
>> >
>> >only on special occasions
>>
>> Such as?
>
>when I've got a Bowie to his throat?
Will your Mom get another Mickey Mouse balloon for his birthday?
>
>> >>><why do I keep playing Catholics?>
><Catholicism's like the Measure>
>> >Mainly he was going from mundane morality - if he doesn't sell it
>> >somebody else will, and he needs the money
>>
>> He chose the sin of commission over the sin of omission. That one's
>> in the catechism too.
>
>he's good at rationalisation, and he needed the money. He's about to
>set up a phone sex line run by nuns.
ROFL. You're really on top of your game lately.
>
>> >>> >> ><Bunsen needs Altie's scent>
><nitro???>
>> >something that fits in my pocket. I'm not that suicidal
>>
>> I knew there had to be a self preservation instinct buried somewhere in
>there.
>
>it comes out at the most inconvenient times
What a cute little survivalisth Koalataur you are.
>
><Altie caused Floyd?>
>> Those rain dances sure work. And you thought they were silly.
>
>no, I was just buying time for Scully to turn up
Those older women will be your downfall.
>
>> >don't worry, I'm only stalking you.
>>
>> Aww, how sweet.
>
>you look delectable
Just whetting your appetite, dear.
>
>> >I did get to kiss a lot of women I'm related to today as we had our
>> >birthday present-swapping gettogether in an inner city pub
>>
>> Cool. Get anything unusual?
>
<List of assorted gifts>
I picked up a similar pendant in Egypt -- a cartouche, I believe it's called.
I use
it as a charm on my bracelet sometimes.
>
>> <Aussies are waiting for Jeff's other shoe to drop.>
>> >
>> >thrill me thrill me fulfill me
>>
>> Madonnas fulfill only after the wedding.
>
>*_BUGGER_*
You wouldn't respect me if I did otherwise.
>
>> >Rohan "drunkosaur" Tolstrup
>>
>> Whatever happped to teetotalling?
>
>Sunday lunch. If you don't drink much, don't start suddenly on a nearly
>empty stomach. I wasn't able to exercise before leaving this morning,
>so I ended up walking Bunsen about a kilometre.
I promise I won't drink on an empty stomach. My co-workers dared me to drink
Scotch once, and I made the mistake of swigging it. My jaw locked up for a
solid minute. Whereupon every man in the room wanted the same drink I had.
And you think I'm the masochist.
Tolstrup
>
> But if you can't believe the gods, who'll believe a mortal?
but it's something pcs can conceivably discover
> ><can easily check if those stars have planets>
> >
> >Raistlin could scry. It's a knowable fact.
>
<dragon orb might know>
if necessary a lich can send an undead dragon and watch in his crystal
ball. You don't need a dragon orb.
> ><Reader's Companion of canon>
> >
> <Enforce canon by fixing and republishing heretical novels>
<effects of above. Oops>
Chronicles is untouchable. Fundamentally they shouldn't keep printing
books that have actually been declared noncanon (even if they're still
printing the ones that are obviously noncanon or stupid). A lot of
potential readers have been driven away by the Mills & Boon image.
> ><writers don't own DL, don't blame them>
<buck stops here>
> Through 80 inconsistent novels? Plus gaming material? They'd never
> get their books on a reasonable schedule. You're proposing Groundhog
> Day.
it's something that should have been done from the outset, and there is
no adequate reason why they didn't do so.
> ><WTF with RotBS?>
> ><deus ex machina>
<gods are in FR etc>
> Spreading rumors? The gods seem to be too obsessed with Krynn to
> take their attention from it for long.
as I've said elsewhere, Takhy figures if she can destroy Dri$$t then
she'll be able to fight Chaos.
> >> <Chaos and the High God might be at war, but Chaos fought the kids in
> >> DoSF to punish them>
> ><High God would've stepped in>
> <The High God helps those who help themselves>
<situation outside normal parameters>
> But deal with it they did. It could have been a Kobiyashi Maru kind of test,
> or the High God may have wanted to see if saving Krynn was worth it.
certainly not the actions of an Ul figure.
> <Yanking out healthy teeth racks up the profit margin>
> >
> >and yours as well I believe. Why not punch out some of his?
>
> I've got to shell the dollars out first, and the idea of being under anesthesia
> for longer than I have to bugs me. Because I do get the bill, he can't add
> any of his own teeth to sweeten the deal.
so do as he does and yank teeth while he's sleeping
> >> <Rohan's never read LotR and he might not want to>
> <LotR is populated by lots of Sir Galahad types>
<gritty means realistic>
> Morte D'Arthur is big on chivalric romance, but I was thinking more in
> terms of how it defined the archetypes of the perfect knight, the goodly
> king, and the fallen friend.
that was the period version of 'the historical movie' wasn't it? Think
Braveheart or Joan of Arc.
> Marion would have been a tad too earthy for JRR. Didn't she have
> Guinevere in a clinch with Arthur and Lancelot in that book?
possibly. Certainly Arthur invited Lancelet to pork her, and I think a
touch of lesbianism was thrown in for measure.
> <Minions as Krynnish temps>
<Tak still doing grunt work?>
> >she gives the budget, they spend it
>
> And what happens if they're pressed by mortals before she can replenish
> the data?
there's got to be *some way* of doing it. She's a goddess!
> <Boutros-Ghali Unbowed (it's out in Borders now)>
> >
> >I can say 'I did it for him'
>
> You'll earn a place on Letterman's Top Ten List.
and then I'll take out Clinton with a frozen lamington to impress
Christina Ricci
<fun in the Latino sun>
> <Vee's grounded, so she'll never know>
> >
> >Gilbert then. Smaller target and has faster reflexes
>
> The frat boys will want to keep him as a mascot.
I guess you'll have to shoot them off his back then
> >> >> >> >> <Lunch is on Spike>
> ><merits of souvlaki>
> <You're underestimating tunafish on a roll with crisps>
> >
> >eww. Can't stand fish, smells gross. One of these days I'll get
> >organised and take sandwiches.
>
> Sandwiches can be a bother though, especially if you've got to lug a lot of
> books. I still have tuna at Au Bon Pan on a braided roll. And I brush and use
> Altoids after so I don't knock out anybody.
there goes half the fun :)
> There's a neighborhood Italian place that makes powerful garlic bread. Now
> that's something that can kill a sivak at 20 paces.
Simon's always complaining about my use of Worchestershire Sauce. It's
good in omelettes though.
> >> >> >> <The rat will go out in a blaze of glory>
> >> <Sword clips rats who go after jailbait>
> <Searched for Sword on Yahoo>
<you can't prove anything>
> Noriega sold him out.
he was more like the standard school pusher. Didn't deal direct. He'd
fess up in Texas and arrange to be tried personally by Powdermonkey Bush
> <The rat'll be happier in his next life>
> >I thought catholics didn't believe in reincarnation
>
> No one's ever explained purgatory to me in a satisfactory fashion. It's
> not a required article of faith, so I'm not in line for excommunication.
cool. Purgatory could easily mean another reincarnation
> >only B? Seen Mission to Moscow?
>
> No I haven't. And somehow, I think the B rating will stick.
B is about as high as it's getting. Anybody giving a job to Lassard
deserves to be dragged down a freeway.
> >> <The Aussie syllabus isn't heavy on the Brontes>
> >Adelaide is a barrel of laughs
>
> The place or the person?
the stash of corpses in the closed bank
> >bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> ><burns Pikachu>
>
> Another rat bites the dust.
Pikachu ain't a rat. That's like calling the child of a woman who
denied sleeping with anybody the Second Coming.
> <Geography's losing ground in the global syllabus.>
> Things tend to get confusing when items like the London Bridge are
> relocated to a desert in Arizona, of all places.
logic?
> >the blade sight is a bit painful on the soft palate
>
> You call *that* a better lure?
I've also got gold cards from Macys and Victoria's Secret (the owners
won't surface for some time)
> >> <My cousins will validate any granny tales I tell about my sister>
> <I grew up with most of my nieces and nephews>
> >so you're Dezra?
> Riding a horse means something different to her than it does to me.
*nobody* can prove that
> <Rohan reincarnates as Jar Jar>
> >
> >so long as I get to decapitate Leo
>
> Darth Jar Jar? What a scary thought.
there can be only one
> ><self-cleaning M16>
>
> >after that you can say they're cured and forget about them
>
> Unfortunately that happens all too often to psychotics. Gambling addicts
> can get themselves back on the rolls fairly easily.
Brazil option
> >Anne must have agonised over that particular decision.
>
> She ended up being a popular auntie to Henry's kids. It makes sense
> that the only two women he didn't kill had powerful relates -- Catherine of
> Aragon's nephew was the Holy Roman Emperor, and Anne of Cleves' father
> was an influential Protestant german prince.
Cathy I knew about. I figured it'd take something to make him marry his
brother's widow. Maybe he thought he was being sent for 'education' and
didn't realise it was a marriage ceremony. I figured somebody had to
actually bring up the bastard daughters and Prince
Sun-Shines-Out-Of-His-Arse
> >> <Some nuns might have been happy to be evicted by Henry>
>
> >it must've been great to be a wealthy man back then
>
> Elizabeth did not do too badly.
I suppose after her sister the few nuns who'd popped up were all fairly
young and desperate to leave. Now the Slut Queen was getting it on with
nuns as well?
> <Unmarriable women were forced to become nuns and so were barren
> Queens>
<a valid Catholic marriage lasts to death>
> Apparently an exception was made if a married woman later discovered
> that she was married to God before she was married to her king.
loophole?
> >> ><how many fingers?>
> Here's another hint -- it's less than five.
one?
> <"Zippety Doo Dah" as angst pit mood music>
>
> >yes, but I've secretly taken them over and the subliminals in the next
> >movie will encourage revolution. And what stops you from acting out
> >Walt's politics?
>
> There are no talking tea cups or shady dwarves to influence my thinking.
why don't you just go through the whole gym bag?
<if I give Pete something the Hasbro CEO will be jealous>
> >oh, he'll have gotten something special as well. There's a lot of me to
> >love.
>
> That's probably the overall feeling down in Renton as a whole.
nice to be wanted in a scary sorta way
> >> >> <Australian ballad>
<Bunsen's in NYC?>
> >> He's picking up a little package I'm sending to Melbourne. Be
> >> sure to open it up as soon as he comes back.
> >
> >you imported my dog to courier a package back to me? So he can get
> >blown up on return?
>
> I don't know how he got here -- he's quite a retriever. But it would be rude
> of me to send him home empty handed.
what'd he pick from the dirty clothes basket?
> >> ><how many blocs and where's he shit?>
<any lottery luck?>
> >nope. I did however cathartically stab a scratchie
>
> The most I've ever won with one of those is 10 bucks.
I'm convinced that they only put minor rewards on every fifth ticket to
keep up the illusion that winning's possible.
> ><cats walk themselves>
> <Australia declares martial law on felines>
> >
> >the council doesn't like cats roaming the night. Something to do with
> >not being native fauna.
>
> It's not the cats' fault that they were brought over. And I would imagine
> they are now as indoctrinated as the dingo.
humans and animals. Great combo.
> >> >> >> < Every seductress needs a bodyguard, including Snow White>
> ><hunter wouldn't look>
> >> >but Sturm was just a bloody pervert. What about noise?
> >>
> >> Evangelical healing service.
> >
> >gimme that old time religion and look a good !@#$ in the face
>
> Allelluia neighbor..
madonnas shouldn't watch Bosomania
> I think it was Jaimie who said that Sturm may have let a crush get the
> better of him and I like that idea. It's how Sturm handles it later that's out
> of character.
okay, so why the hell did he do that? Memory loss?
> ><fratricide... what's killing your own noninfant kids?>
> <I'm still looking it up. My dictionary's at work>
> >I'd be inclined to keep key people under control with a designer drug
> >only I have the formula for.
>
> If they'd been able to do that, the Roman empire would not have fallen.
cool. I'll fire up the time machine
<everybody at TSR faces the press, Rabe survives>
> But she's hungry for revenge.
and I'm hungry for Dhamon's head
> >> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
> >> >we've only got a shower cubicle upstairs
> <bathtubs rock>
>
> >maybe I should come around to your place then
>
> I'll leave the bubble bath on the sink.
as my host you should stick around and watch
> >> >> >> <Gilon slipped Rosamun LSD>
> >> <Gilon wasn't around because he was afraid of Kit>
> >>
> <Caramon nicely ignored Gilon>
> >
> They must have had some kind of a relationship, since Raistlin was envious
> even of that. That's what I never understood about Raistlin -- he hated
> Caramon for being friendly with people Raistlin would never give the time of
> day to.
Raistlin never cared about women until he needed Crysania pure? He's
got the worst self-destructive impulses I've ever seen.
> >> <what about character assassination?>
> >> An air of mystery does not detract from Charisma, but enhances it.
> >
> >and what if Sword finds or manufactures her (figurative) dirty laundry?
>
> He'd have to be a heck of a (figurative) seamstress to sew up a Madonna's
> undies.
yes, but you're not widely recognised and he can fiddle things. Know
what lawyers are specifically taught to do?
> >> >> <The worst thing the US gov't did to Altarielle was raise her taxes>
> ><rightswise the banana republics are tending to progress better>
>
> <Give me an example of an infringed right>
> >
> <The rate, if not the level of, acquisition of human rights in banana republics
> is enviable. Governments are out to legislate culture>
>
> There's a difference between having the right to carry firearms and allowing a
> dangerous fringe group the ability to harm the majority who don't believe in
> what they stand for. They're terrorists, and should be treated the same way
> as the WTC bombers.
I strongly believe in an effective measure of disobeying the government.
However, my liberalism stops at the point where it ceases to be for the
greater good. McVeigh picked a bad target considering all those he
considered 'expendable.' I personally would've blown the bitch at
night, or maybe used a ginormous paint bomb.
> >> ><Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
> ><Henry the Impotent>
> >why am I thinking his later years were dominated by disabled women?.
>
> The next to last wife was twentyish, and it was his lack of spark that
> led her to commit adultery.
*thunk*. I take it she was brazen about it? Henry the Impotent needed
a queen for PR, but if unable to serve would be suicidal to try and keep
her in a cage.
> >> >> <Bunsen's more of a teenager than a puppy>
> >he only runs when chasing something or on the end of the lead. Bastard.
>
> He's only out to add some spark to your exercise routine.
he also likes to try and shit in midwalk. I just keep draggin' him.
> <Paying your fair share is okay, as long as you reasonably can. But that
> doesn't mean govt utilities don't have a profit motive.>
>
> If a company relies on gov't funds, they know that there is a guaranteed cash
> flow regardless of how poorly they do.
ideally they'd only rely on govt funds to subsidise the charity cases.
They're still a business after all. With User-Pays it means they don't
have to be supported by taxation.
A private concern doesn't know where
> it's next dollar is coming from, figuratively speaking, so it works to generate
> self-sustaining profits.
see above. Corporatisation's the way to go.
> >> >> >> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
> >I'm definitely thinking sawnoff shotgun here
>
> I guess you could tuck it under your chin and use your one remaining
> hand to take a shot.
I was thinking of using the shotty before it got that close
> >> <Crysania would focus on forcing the KoS to revise the Measure in the
> >> first 10 years after the WotL>
> >she has subordinates for those needs. Her job is to act as Paladine's
> >hand on Ansalon. And Paladine knows the KoS have to be fixed NOW.
>
> The whole point of her ordeal was Raistlin was that she finally learned to
> have compassion for others. Since we are talking the first 10 years,
> Crysania would have to spend time building up her own Church and
> training new clerics, since many must have perished during Kit's assault.
> And a city that never knew devastation would certainly need her immediate
> spiritual guidance.
maybe not 1st ten years, but pre 2nd gen in any event. 25 years is
quite reasonable.
> >> ><Billary's probably lost NY>
> ><Monica lives there too>
> >so pick a weapon and pick a side
>
> That's like a choice between Earwig Lockpicker and Uncle Trapspringer.
so take a flamethrower and get 'em both. Or borrow Hillary's gun and
use it to kill Monica before returning it.
> >> Take a few deep breaths, and pass the gun over to Ros nice and slowly...
> >
> ><SPINNNNNNN>
> >
> >your turn
>
> <click>
>
> Oops. Just send me the dry cleaning bill, okay?
I make a point of not billing headless undead women.
> >> <The elves wouldn't have pushed the KoS because time went so slowly
> >> for them that it would seem like a bum's rush.>
> <It didn't take the elves a year to begin the Kinslayer War>
> >
> But it was a conflict among their kin, and therefore of much more
> importance than the well being of humans.
about the same as an international issue
> <Baby boomer KoS want to return the KoS to its pre-Cataclysm prestige>
> >
> >embodied in the real interpretation of the Measure.
>
> They'd like to enjoy the prestige they had in Istar's heyday, but the
> interpretation of the Measure would be clearly the one that's evolved
> post Cataclysm. They would embrace the discipline that enabled them
> to survive the ignominy of the past couple of centuries.
the holy six period stuff was explicit - the *spirit* of the Measure
allowed the dragon trap et al. Returning to their heyday meant
remembering the spirit.
> <The KoS may have been proud of keeping to the Measure throughout their
> persecution.>
<Raist the flaunter>
> >I doubt he would've been mistaken for a farmer. And the KoS survived
> >those 300 years...
>
> In that instance, the rigidity of the Measure may have actually served to keep
> them together by providing a common bond with spelled out rules.
which once had a tangible spirit instead of being meaningless
> >> >> <Literary quality is not synonymous with best seller>
> ><Spine of the World actually about Wulfgar?>
> <Cover art may have nothing to do with the story?
> >
> >in Passage to Dawn and Legacy of the Darksword it gave it away...
>
> Bad judgement to spoil the plot. But at least it was related to the book.
go leatherbound with the title stamped on the spine
> >> ><compromise candidate?>
> <How can one compromise with two extreme points of view?>
> >perhaps a good point. However, all this was because only the Crown
> >knights had an acknowledged leader...
>
> True. But so few knights were willing to move the knighthood forward,
> especially with the war casting an unaccustomed spotlight on them.
because of the spotlight they *had* to move forward
> >> ><Laurana ain't Ce'Nedra>
> <Laurana was a natural candidate for Elistan's teachings, but she was not
> going to put having a home ahead of saving the world>
> >
> >wouldn't she and Tanis prefer to dump it all then? Thirty years on
> >you'd have to be doing it for love.
>
> Tanis and Laurana were the Krynnish version of a power couple. Sharing
> the same type of job strengthens your bond with your husband.
I don't have a husband so I wouldn't know
Besides
> Tanis and Laurana lived through the ugly side of war, and it makes sense
> that they would do their best to prevent their homes from being ravaged
> again.
both outgrew Qualinesti. And in any event, they of all people knew how
important it was to keep people together.
> ><Lozza in obscurity?>
<homebody or workaholic?>
> Laurana carted the kid with her since there was no Krynnish day care.
> And she spent more time with her relatives in Qualinesti and Silvanesti.
source? How consistent is this with that treaty? There must have been
KoS side to it.
> >> >> >> <The next DL generation of fans>
> <If the fans are out there, why aren't we hearing from them?>
<mellow at 21?>
> >I wasn't *that* bad. I try to use logic is all.
>
> The newbie reaction to you was always interesting. They hated being
> flamed, but they often came back for more, in a somewhat naive hope
> that one can bully a dino of flame. That's a rite of newsgroup passage,
> I guess. Even my cat knew enough to run from flames.
I mainly slapped down rudeness. That idiot Shalafi being a prime
example
> >canon should be obvious and adhered to. I shouldn't have to make my own
> >arcane canon rules.
>
> But we're already knee deep in contradictions. What's done is done and I
> can't change it, so I may as well vent and move on.
this would be possible if they'd made an effort to make new books
consistent. Basically almost every book that's come out since I've been
around here has some kind of mistake. Soulforge, Dezra's Quest, Puppet
King etc is just too often to 'move on.'
> <Single world authors, like McCaffrey, have committed canon sins of
> their own>
<tradeoffs in single-author worlds>
> But there is no one other than Anne who can come in and arbitrarily
> disregard the framework of Pern, either. Granted, Anne's a victim of
> technology, since the first Pern stories came out before neither you nor I were
> glints in our parents' eyes, and computers were not in fashion, but if
> she was going to write about super computers, she should have given it
> the same attention she gave Thread, and been more accurate because no
> one else was there to muck things up.
so we've got a woman at least in her fifties who's been writing books
for nearly thirty years. I find it understandable that she'll make
mistakes. For example, I may come up with a female Muslim copper who
puts on a tracksuit to play footy with the rest of the squad - a
combination which I don't *think* is against Islamic law (and I want her
to be a liberated woman rather than another media Arab). Authors acting
alone just don't have the resources. Which is why Jack Higgins writes
by throwing darts at a list of stock plot devices...
> ><we've got GREAT support material from TSR>
> <Agreed, and that's why authors have a tough time of it>
<'certain authors' are saboteurs>
> Granted, there is a bit of writer's pride there. But that's where a readers'
> companion defining truth vs fiction would come in handy. Authors would
> be free to write any story that they please without mucking up the official
> time line.
it's not acceptable to write noncanon stories presented as fact. That
so many of them were clearly presented as canon is inexcusable. It'd be
okay to write kender tales if that's obviously what they were.
> >> >> >> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
> >> <Explanation of a BYOC game>
<player input focus>
> Agreed. That's why I'd only bring in established characters if I respected
> the DM enough to handle the situation the right way.
I'm more used to everybody rolls up a character and we go from there.
Although creating Sean I had to have a sixteen year-old schoolboy who
lived in a small, remote Alaskan town.
<Morten is Cancer Man>
> >dash it all
>
> He's dashing it all right. Richard Knaak got the brunt of the dash.
eat shit hornhead!
> >the fun way?
>
> He shared your fondness for experimentation, too.
I generally don't use a microscope when committing crimes against God
> >> >> <My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
> >I'll be there for you
>
> I knew I could count on you.
I can show you how to add, subtract, divide and do the times table, all
with my grenade launcher-equipped battle rifle.
> >> ><Simon's birthday?>
> >> <Mom, I've blown up my baby brother>
> >he does give me a certain perspective on my life
>
> Awww, how brotherly.
one way of looking at it
> ><Sean, pussyslayer>
<tail, flammable?>
> >that's what you think. And he's certainly seen you coming.
>
> Good. I hate dropping in uninvited.
then say 'hi' to a poison-dripping combat knife wielded with Dex 21+ and
weapon specialisation.
> >> >> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
> >Saturday morning I'm getting my machete sharpened, see him later?
>
> Ricky says he'll be there and ready to live la vida loca.
good thing I'm packing heavier than that poofy munchkin in Desperado
> >> >> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
<Sword on the bankroll?>
> >Sword is a little less tolerant than Sean.
>
> If he can get that nun thing going, Sword'll definitely see the good works
> he put Rupert's bankroll towards.
Sean's doing that, although Sword wouldn't give a shit. Otoh, he
personally wiped out the drug cartel he used to work for.
> >> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
<Sean's vibrissae as candle wicks>
> >you realise how much that'd HURT?
>
> Oh yeah, baby.
which is why I've cast a 'pain link' between you two. And in human form
he's bigger than you.
> >> >> >> >> ><combat hairties>
<could use putative tail for defeeting me>
> >since when have you had a tail? Pussycat pussycat...
>
> I've frightened a wererat under your chair. Apparently the tail sprouted
> sometime during this thread.
<stroke>
describe this wonderful tail of yours then
> ><Buzzards investment down>
> >don't forget your mini-uzi.
>
> I prefer something I can stash in a boot.
you could smuggle in a Granatepistol if you're willing to look like a
Baywatch dwarf. Failing that, boots can easily hold small handguns and
significantly long knives. You might be able to stash a Skorpion
machinepistol (although it's only a .25).
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
> ><begging required>
<she takes Amex>
> >I guess I'd better get Amex then
>
> Good. That's one of my other stock holdings.
then I'll go on a spree and never pay it back
> >> >> <There are lots of S&M playmates out there>
> >Satan!!!!!!!!!!<braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat>
>
> Not far off the mark there.
>
> Actually that's a true about the voodoo god. Desi Arnaz pledged to mention
> Babaloo every chance he got if I Love Lucy made it big.
at least he was open about it. It's not like popular culture exists in
a vacuum and is untouchable.
<can't just change a kid's name through adoption>
> How do you explain the females of the Brady Bunch all taking on the last name
> "Brady?"
blatant idiocy. His wife's dead and her hubby raped the daughters, who
act like that out of trauma. They got together because this serial
rapist found the boys and did them as well.
> >> ><what happens when you don't drive>
> ><suicide NYC style>
<Altie turns the tables on Kong>
> That wouldn't be suicidal -- that's a rush. It should be made into a theme park
> ride.
complete with everybody shooting at you?
> <Stay away from my uncle>
>
> Remind me to sit safely next to your Mom at family gatherings.
safely? You haven't met my mother and her inability to shut up.
> >> ><five gold stars = scent sample>
> ><giving Bunsen a blast>
> >> ><sluuuuurp>
> >>
> >> Such a cuddly little pup. <sniffle>
> >
> ><cuddle, cuddle>
> >found it!
>
> You stuck your hands down there?? Ewww.
considering what I've found, you may benefit from this discovery
> >how about I pick you up in my cab and take you to a movie?
>
> As long as it's not Stigmata. Saw it, and it's straight to video fodder.
I'll just get out my Taxi Driver's Guide to Dating
> ><chook cooked on angst pits>
<angst pits cause drug imagery fanfics?>
> I'm not that far under the influence. But why am I thinking Mt. Nevermind is a
> giant bong?
because it is. Besides, that was investigative journalism, not a
fanfic, which invokes different references. Tell me if you feel like
say going postal in the Inn of the Last Home.
> ><she's got it in for Sean>
<she thinks she's got inside info on my defences>
> It's been working so far.
ever heard of disinformation?
> >> <Simon regulates the amount of screaming allowed upstairs>
> Will your Mom get another Mickey Mouse balloon for his birthday?
the last one scared the shit out of him by hovering next to his bed
<Sean Kelly, model Catholic>
> >he's good at rationalisation, and he needed the money. He's about to
> >set up a phone sex line run by nuns.
>
> ROFL. You're really on top of your game lately.
I recently set up a bloke and the two mates he brought along, and then
took them out with my knife
<inconvenient self-preservation instinct>
> What a cute little survivalist Koalataur you are.
you make a great picture in my lens
> ><Altie caused Floyd?>
<'skepticism' buying time for Scully>
> Those older women will be your downfall.
I'm just using her
> >you look delectable
>
> Just whetting your appetite, dear.
I may be forced to fully eat you
<List of assorted gifts>
>I picked up a similar pendant in Egypt -- a cartouche, I believe it's >called.
>I use
>it as a charm on my bracelet sometimes.
mine's evidently bigger as I wouldn't hang it from *my* wrist
>> <Aussies are waiting for Jeff's other shoe to drop.>
<*Rocky*!>
>>> Madonnas fulfill only after the wedding.
>>
>>*_BUGGER_*
You wouldn't respect me if I did otherwise.
sure I'd respect you
><drunkosaur incident>
>I promise I won't drink on an empty stomach. My co-workers dared me to >drink
>Scotch once, and I made the mistake of swigging it.
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
My jaw locked up >for a
>solid minute. Whereupon every man in the room wanted the same drink I >had.
sure they didn't just want to keep your mouth shut?
>And you think I'm the masochist.
I drink very rarely. It was a social thing and they didn't seem to have
much soft stuff (Anna, who hates fizzy stuff and dislikes beer, ended up
drinking water all afternoon). I could've gone fishing in the needle
bin in the dunny I suppose. I'm self-destructive, not truly masochistic
Rohan "hunt you down" Tolstrup
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
<Krynnish mortals should be able to get at the truth of creation>
Let's say some lucky stiff did discover the truth of Krynnish creation.
It would still allow wiggle room for "noncanonical" myths because the
truth would be regarded as one of many versions.
>
>> ><can easily check if those stars have planets>
><dragon orb might know>
>if necessary a lich can send an undead dragon and watch in his crystal
>ball. You don't need a dragon orb.
Cute idea. Might be the way to determine which moon Malys came from.
>
>> <Enforce canon by fixing and republishing heretical novels>
><effects of above. Oops>
<On second thought, just stop publishing both old and new heretical
novels.>
So the game line is noncanonical, per the "Ariakas is a cleric" example?
>
>> ><writers don't own DL, don't blame them>
><buck stops here>
<We're 80 books to late for change>
>
>it's something that should have been done from the outset, and there is
>no adequate reason why they didn't do so.
I tend to agree, especially since in the beginning, the game line was the
reason for the books' existence, and continuity is important in campaigns.
>
><gods are in FR etc>
>as I've said elsewhere, Takhy figures if she can destroy Dri$$t then
>she'll be able to fight Chaos.
Unlike Lloth, Tak tends to focus more on strengthening her followers
than chasing down the good guys. Tak on FR would look to cultivate
the matron mothers, Braegen D'Aerthe, or Artemis Entreri types.
>
>> ><High God would've stepped in>
>> <The High God helps those who help themselves>
><situation outside normal parameters>
<DoSF may have been only a test>
>
>certainly not the actions of an Ul figure.
It depends. Thousands of probably wink out existence daily in the Krynnish
cosmos, so unless Krynn's demise had a universe shattering impact (like
the Raistlin scenario in Legends) the High God would have to be convinced
to interfere.
>
>> <Yanking out healthy teeth racks up the profit margin>
>> >>
>so do as he does and yank teeth while he's sleeping
He wouldn't suffer for long, as he has an unlimited supply of dental
implants.
>
>> >> <Rohan's never read LotR and he might not want to>
>> <LotR is populated by lots of Sir Galahad types>
><gritty means realistic>
<LotR embodies chivalric archetypes found in Morte D'Arthur>
>
>that was the period version of 'the historical movie' wasn't it? Think
>Braveheart or Joan of Arc.
LotR is more of a lament for the loss of dreams in the face of reality,
rather than a historical drama, so it tells the story in black and white,the
way you always knew Sir Galahad was the good one and Modred the bad
one. Tolkein's KingArthur have been the guy from Camelot, not the guy
from Excalibur.
>
<Mists of Avalon's a bit too 1990s for JRR>
Marion Zimmer Bradley seems to like to write about AC/DC heroines. Her
Cassandra of Troy was in love with Helen and Aeneas.
>
>> <Minions as Krynnish temps>
><Tak still doing grunt work if she powers minions?>
>there's got to be *some way* of doing it. She's a goddess!
But she's not the Energizer Bunny. Huma and Raistlin proved the gods
themselves are not invincible.
>
>> <Boutros-Ghali Unbowed (it's out in Borders now)>
>> >
>> >I can say 'I did it for him'
>>
>> You'll earn a place on Letterman's Top Ten List.
>
>and then I'll take out Clinton with a frozen lamington to impress
>Christina Ricci
David Hinkley has a fan?
>
><fun in the Latino sun>
>> <Vee's grounded, so she'll never know>
<Gilbert does not want to go to college>
>
>I guess you'll have to shoot them off his back then
More like shoot them out from under him. They'll probably carry
Gil on their shoulders like a parrot.
>
>> ><merits of souvlaki>
>> <You're underestimating tunafish on a roll with crisps>
>> >
<Tuna has an aroma, but I brush after every meal>
>there goes half the fun :)
Only dragons should have breath weapons :-).
>
<Stay away from the garlic bread, Slith!>
>Simon's always complaining about my use of Worchestershire Sauce. It's
>good in omelettes though.
My little cousin refuses to watch me eat lobster rolls because they're so
gooey. The kid just doesn't know what's good for him.
>
>> <Searched for Sword on Yahoo>
><you can't prove anything>
>> Noriega sold him out.
>
>he was more like the standard school pusher. Didn't deal direct. He'd
>fess up in Texas and arrange to be tried personally by Powdermonkey Bush
He'd get off if Noriega can finger the guy who sold Bush the snow.
>
<I thought catholics didn't believe in reincarnation>
>>
>> No one's ever explained purgatory to me in a satisfactory fashion. It's
>> not a required article of faith, so I'm not in line for excommunication.
>
>cool. Purgatory could easily mean another reincarnation
Exactly. If there is a heaven, what's worse than being told to come back
later?
>
<Lassard rates a B>
Lassard has retired to the Blue Oyster Club.
>
>> >> <The Aussie syllabus isn't heavy on the Brontes>
>> >Adelaide is a barrel of laughs
>>
>> The place or the person?
>
>the stash of corpses in the closed bank
A different take on shooting fish in a barrel.
>
>> >bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> ><burns Pikachu>
>>
>> Another rat bites the dust.
>
>Pikachu ain't a rat. That's like calling the child of a woman who
>denied sleeping with anybody the Second Coming.
Nowadays, the child would be result of alien experiments. But Pikachu's
just as much a bubonic carrying rodent as Sean.
>
>> <Geography's losing ground in the global syllabus.>
>> Things tend to get confusing when items like the London Bridge are
>> relocated to a desert in Arizona, of all places.
>
>logic?
None. Some rich guy bought the remnants of the London Bridge and
rebuilt it in Arizona. He may have moved it since, I believe.
>
>> >the blade sight is a bit painful on the soft palate
>>
>> You call *that* a better lure?
>
>I've also got gold cards from Macys and Victoria's Secret (the owners
>won't surface for some time)
That's an awful lot of trouble to go to just to leer at the VS catalog models.
>
>> <I grew up with most of my nieces and nephews>
>> >so you're Dezra?
>> Riding a horse means something different to her than it does to me.
>
>*nobody* can prove that
Dez' real father, Chris, has admitted that Dez is an experienced cowgirl.
>
>> <Rohan reincarnates as Jar Jar>
>> Darth Jar Jar? What a scary thought.
>
>there can be only one
Jar Jar McCloud? That's even worse.
>
<Gambling addicts can have unlimited relapses on the gov't>
>
>Brazil option
??
>
<Anne of Cleves was popular with Henry's kids>
<Anne and Catherine weren't killed because of their connections.>
>
<Why did Henry marry his brother's widow?>
Apparently Catherine and Henry were a love match. He lasted 12 years
with her, and if she would have born a son, chances are he would have
stayed with her.
<Queen Elizabeth slept with nuns?>
No. I meant that Elizabeth somehow grafted that Virgin Queen title after
sleeping with her stepmother's husband, Lord Dudley, and Lord Dudley's
stepson. That last relationship was a Crysania-Tandar match, with the
added dimension that Liz was bald and pockmarked by this time.
>
><a valid Catholic marriage lasts to death>
>> Apparently an exception was made if a married woman later discovered
>> that she was married to God before she was married to her king.
>
>loophole?
Big time. Although someone may have tried to pawn off the Queen as a
virgin, since she had never given birth.
>
>> >> ><how many fingers?>
>> Here's another hint -- it's less than five.
>
>one?
How many gold stars does that make?
>
<Angst pits inspire Mouseketeer Terrorism>
>>
>> There are no talking tea cups or shady dwarves to influence my thinking.
>
>why don't you just go through the whole gym bag?
I have. You have a hole in your left sock.
>
><if I give Pete something the Hasbro CEO will be jealous>
>> That's probably the overall feeling down in Renton as a whole.
>
>nice to be wanted in a scary sorta way
Well if we're talking 220, ahem, 100 kilos, you can keep upto 100
Rentonites in clover.
>
>> >> >> <Australian ballad>
><Bunsen's in NYC?>
<Bunsen's been picking up souveniers>
>what'd he pick from the dirty clothes basket?
He didn't get that far. He took my papal rosary and all of a sudden got the
urge to visit the Vatican.
>
<Scratch lotteries are rigged>
And every fifth prize is for one dollar, of course.
>
>> ><cats walk themselves>
>> <Australia declares martial law on felines>
<Equal rights for Aussie felines>
>humans and animals. Great combo.
Spike must be on the 10 Most Wanted list, given his astonding body count.
>
<Snow White's Evangelical Prostitution Scam>
>> >
>> >gimme that old time religion and look a good !@#$ in the face
>>
>> Allelluia neighbor..
>
>madonnas shouldn't watch Bosomania
No danger of that.
>
<Jaimie thinks Sturm slept with Kit because of a subliminal crush>
>
>okay, so why the hell did he do that? Memory loss?
IIRC, it was moment of weakness combined with great acting on Kit's
part. After all, if Kit were in love with Sturm, wouldn't Sturm be doing a
noble thing by freeing Tanis to find his true love?
I don't buy that last bit, either.
>
>> ><fratricide... what's killing your own noninfant kids?>
>> <I'm still looking it up. My dictionary's at work. I'm still on
infanticide>
>
<Designer drugs would have kept the Roman Empire alive>
>cool. I'll fire up the time machine
So that's where the time travel device is.
>
><everybody at TSR faces the press, Rabe survives>
>> But she's hungry for revenge.
>
>and I'm hungry for Dhamon's head
Good luck. He did kill half of Ansalon, you know.
>
>> >> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
>> >> >we've only got a shower cubicle upstairs
>> <bathtubs rock>
>>
>> >maybe I should come around to your place then
>>
>> I'll leave the bubble bath on the sink.
>
>as my host you should stick around and watch
No one's supposed to see the birthmark before its time. Remember to
wash behind your ears.
>
>> >> <Gilon wasn't around because he was afraid of Kit>
>> >>
>> <Caramon nicely ignored Gilon but Raistlin envied the relationship
anyway.>
>
>Raistlin never cared about women until he needed Crysania pure? He's
>got the worst self-destructive impulses I've ever seen.
You're absolutely right. The more powerful he became, the more he looked
for reasons to feel sorry for himself.
>
>> >> <what about character assassination?>
>> >and what if Sword finds or manufactures her (figurative) dirty laundry?
>>
>> He'd have to be a heck of a (figurative) seamstress to sew up a Madonna's
>> undies.
>
>yes, but you're not widely recognised and he can fiddle things. Know
>what lawyers are specifically taught to do?
Successfully win invasion of privacy lawsuits when a person isn't widely
known?
>
>> >> >> <The worst thing the US gov't did to Altarielle was raise her taxes>
>> ><rightswise the banana republics are tending to progress better>
>>
>> <Give me an example of an infringed right>
>> >
>> <The rate, if not the level of, acquisition of human rights in banana
>republics is enviable. Governments are out to legislate culture>
>>
<Domestic terrorist should be treated just like international terrorists>
>
>I strongly believe in an effective measure of disobeying the government.
>However, my liberalism stops at the point where it ceases to be for the
>greater good. McVeigh picked a bad target considering all those he
>considered 'expendable.' I personally would've blown the bitch at
>night, or maybe used a ginormous paint bomb.
Civil disobedience I believe in. But to risk killing FBI agents who may have
never done anything wrong because they represent the government is not
something I'd advocate.
>
>> >> ><Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
>> ><Henry the Impotent>
<Catherine Howard got her action elsewhere>
>*thunk*. I take it she was brazen about it? Henry the Impotent needed
>a queen for PR, but if unable to serve would be suicidal to try and keep
>her in a cage.
She was incredibly brazen, and hired the guy who took her virginity as her
personal secretary. Henry might have let her slide if she weren't so obvious.
>
<The Bunsen anaerobic workout>
>> He's only out to add some spark to your exercise routine.
>
>he also likes to try and shit in midwalk. I just keep draggin' him.
Poor pooch. Isn't it worse to have him leave a trail as you walk on?
>
>> <Paying your fair share is okay, as long as you reasonably can. But that
>> doesn't mean govt utilities don't have a profit motive.>
>>
>> If a company relies on gov't funds, they know that there is a guaranteed
>cash flow regardless of how poorly they do.
>
>ideally they'd only rely on govt funds to subsidise the charity cases.
>They're still a business after all. With User-Pays it means they don't
>have to be supported by taxation.
I'm thinking of airlines here in the States which were once regulated by
the govt. There are very few charity cases involved in plane travel but
the govt footing maintenance bills.
>
>see above. Corporatisation's the way to go.
I think we're agreeing in a roundabout way.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Puppy propulsion.>
>> >I'm definitely thinking sawnoff shotgun here
>>
>> I guess you could tuck it under your chin and use your one remaining
>> hand to take a shot.
>
>I was thinking of using the shotty before it got that close
Quite a lot of optimism bubbles up from those angst pits, eh?
>
>> >> <Crysania would focus on forcing the KoS to revise the Measure in the
>> >> first 10 years after the WotL>
<she has help for that>
>>
<Crysania's newfound compassion and her decimated clerical corps post
Kit's war would have occupied her first 10 years.
>
>maybe not 1st ten years, but pre 2nd gen in any event. 25 years is
>quite reasonable.
Let's say Crysania did start to turn her attention to the KoS. How do we
know she didn't have a say in the advances that were made, such as the
admission of women and non-solamnics, and was allowing nature to take
its course with the Measure?
>
>> >> ><Billary's probably lost NY>
>> ><Monica lives there too>
>> >so pick a weapon and pick a side
>>
>> That's like a choice between Earwig Lockpicker and Uncle Trapspringer.
>
>so take a flamethrower and get 'em both. Or borrow Hillary's gun and
>use it to kill Monica before returning it.
Maybe Guiliani will buy into number 2.
>
>> >> Take a few deep breaths, and pass the gun over to Ros nice and slowly...
>> >
>> ><SPINNNNNNN>
>> >
>> >your turn
>>
>> <click>
>>
>> Oops. Just send me the dry cleaning bill, okay?
>
>I make a point of not billing headless undead women.
I'll see to it that this sentiment gets engraved on your tombstone.
>
>> >> <The elves wouldn't have pushed the KoS because time went so slowly
>> >> for them that it would seem like a bum's rush.>
>> <It didn't take the elves a year to begin the Kinslayer War>
>> >
>> But it was a conflict among their kin, and therefore of much more
>> importance than the well being of humans.
>
>about the same as an international issue
It's an international issue that they care about. For example, the war over
the Faulklands was important only to the UK and Argentina.
>
>> <Baby boomer KoS want to return the KoS to its pre-Cataclysm prestige>
>> >
>> >embodied in the real interpretation of the Measure.
>>
>> They'd like to enjoy the prestige they had in Istar's heyday, but the
>> interpretation of the Measure would be clearly the one that's evolved
>> post Cataclysm. They would embrace the discipline that enabled them
>> to survive the ignominy of the past couple of centuries.
>
>the holy six period stuff was explicit - the *spirit* of the Measure
>allowed the dragon trap et al. Returning to their heyday meant
>remembering the spirit.
Was it the spirit of the Measure or the Oath? Sturm specifically said that
the Oath was all he had left to cling to.
>
>> <The KoS may have been proud of keeping to the Measure throughout their
>> persecution.>
><Raist the flaunter>
<The Measure was the glue that kept the knights together pre WotL>
>
>which once had a tangible spirit instead of being meaningless
The Measure provided something spelled out in block letters that
dispirited folk could follow to have some structure to their lives. The
spirit would have come from living the Oath.
>
>> >> >> <Literary quality is not synonymous with best seller>
>> ><Spine of the World actually about Wulfgar?>
>> <Cover art may have nothing to do with the story?
<Leatherbound with titles is the safest way to go>
>> >> ><compromise candidate?>
>> <How can one compromise with two extreme points of view?>
>> >perhaps a good point. However, all this was because only the Crown
>> >knights had an acknowledged leader...
>>
>> True. But so few knights were willing to move the knighthood forward,
>> especially with the war casting an unaccustomed spotlight on them.
>
>because of the spotlight they *had* to move forward
They had to become stronger or get wiped out. There are lots of PR ploys
that would accomplish that without changing the Measure.
>
>> >> ><Laurana ain't Ce'Nedra>
>> <Laurana was a natural candidate for Elistan's teachings, but she was not
>> going to put having a home ahead of saving the world>
>> >
>> >wouldn't she and Tanis prefer to dump it all then? Thirty years on
>> >you'd have to be doing it for love.
>>
>> Tanis and Laurana were the Krynnish version of a power couple. Sharing
>> the same type of job strengthens your bond with your husband.
>
>I don't have a husband so I wouldn't know
You *know* what I mean. Besides, I'm usually too tired to mind my pronouns.
>
> Besides
>> Tanis and Laurana lived through the ugly side of war, and it makes sense
>> that they would do their best to prevent their homes from being ravaged
>> again.
>
>both outgrew Qualinesti. And in any event, they of all people knew how
>important it was to keep people together.
Given Porthios comments about Tanis in the Puppet King, it seems like
Tanis had not gained that many points back home despite the WotL.
Laurana, however, seemed to have devoted a great deal of her time to the
elves exclusively.
>
>> ><Lozza in obscurity?>
><homebody or workaholic?>
>> Laurana carted the kid with her since there was no Krynnish day care.
>> And she spent more time with her relatives in Qualinesti and Silvanesti.
>
>source? How consistent is this with that treaty? There must have been
>KoS side to it.
Gil's reminiscences on how mom was always there for him in the Puppet King,
for one. And the references in DoSF to Laurana helping out Alhana for another.
And if Tanis was in Palanthas and abroad during DoSF, Laurana had to be on
the sylvan shuttle back home.
>
>> >> >> >> <The next DL generation of fans>
>> <If the fans are out there, why aren't we hearing from them?>
><mellow at 21?>
>> >I wasn't *that* bad. I try to use logic is all.
>>
<Shalafi as the prototype crispy newbie >
Shalafi was not your biggest fan, but I think his Kinth really got his goat.
But the kid that sticks out to me was Kiryu, who really wanted to win at least
one discussion with you.
>
<Every single new book has some canon and continuity issues>
I can live with good characterizations, though. And I'm willing to read
good stuff while waiting for a Spirit of the Wind quality book now and then.
>
>> <Single world authors, like McCaffrey, have committed canon sins of
>> their own>
><tradeoffs in single-author worlds>
<Anne's the only author who can muck up Pern>
>
<Anne's got to do it all by her lonesome>
But she is ultimately responsible for the quality of her research materials.
Shared world authors have to rely on what someone else has put
together. No one can enter Pern and turn Canth into a green dragon.
>
>> ><we've got GREAT support material from TSR>
>> <Agreed, and that's why authors have a tough time of it>
><'certain authors' are saboteurs>
>> Granted, there is a bit of writer's pride there. But that's where a
>readers'
>> companion defining truth vs fiction would come in handy. Authors would
>> be free to write any story that they please without mucking up the official
>> time line.
>
>it's not acceptable to write noncanon stories presented as fact. That
>so many of them were clearly presented as canon is inexcusable. It'd be
>okay to write kender tales if that's obviously what they were.
We can always call them non factual and treat them as kender tales.
>
>> >> >> >> >> <Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
>> >> <Explanation of a BYOC game>
><player input focus>
>> Agreed. That's why I'd only bring in established characters if I respected
>> the DM enough to handle the situation the right way.
>
>I'm more used to everybody rolls up a character and we go from there.
>Although creating Sean I had to have a sixteen year-old schoolboy who
>lived in a small, remote Alaskan town.
Except in a few instances, I didn't play in too many munchkin campaigns, so
advancement was slow. And if the game got boring, I'd like to pull the
character out, give her a rest and maybe change the scenery.
>
><Morten is Cancer Man>
>> >dash it all
>>
>> He's dashing it all right. Richard Knaak got the brunt of the dash.
>
>eat shit hornhead!
Sargonnas was the best part of the novel.
>
>> >the fun way?
>>
>> He shared your fondness for experimentation, too.
>
>I generally don't use a microscope when committing crimes against God
He used a scalpel.
>
>> >> >> <My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
>> >I'll be there for you
>>
>> I knew I could count on you.
>
>I can show you how to add, subtract, divide and do the times table, all
>with my grenade launcher-equipped battle rifle.
And it took you this long to count how many fingers I had up?
>
>> >> ><Simon's birthday?>
>> >> <Mom, I've blown up my baby brother>
>> >he does give me a certain perspective on my life
>>
>> Awww, how brotherly.
>
>one way of looking at it
Simon makes the pet care burden so much easier. You'd miss that.
>
>> ><Sean, pussyslayer>
><tail, flammable?>
>> >that's what you think. And he's certainly seen you coming.
>>
>> Good. I hate dropping in uninvited.
>
>then say 'hi' to a poison-dripping combat knife wielded with Dex 21+ and
>weapon specialisation.
I didn't say I'd enter through the front door.
>
>> >> >> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
>> >Saturday morning I'm getting my machete sharpened, see him later?
>>
>> Ricky says he'll be there and ready to live la vida loca.
>
>good thing I'm packing heavier than that poofy munchkin in Desperado
Antonio Banderas rocks, and he can sing to boot.
>
>> >> >> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
><Sword on the bankroll?>
>> >Sword is a little less tolerant than Sean.
>>
>> If he can get that nun thing going, Sword'll definitely see the good works
>> he put Rupert's bankroll towards.
>
>Sean's doing that, although Sword wouldn't give a shit. Otoh, he
>personally wiped out the drug cartel he used to work for.
Makes it hard to collect his last paycheck.
>
>> >> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
><Sean's vibrissae as candle wicks>
>> >you realise how much that'd HURT?
>>
>> Oh yeah, baby.
>
>which is why I've cast a 'pain link' between you two. And in human form
>he's bigger than you.
In human form almost everyone is bigger than me. But dangerous things come
in small packages.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><combat hairties>
><could use putative tail for defeeting me>
>> >since when have you had a tail? Pussycat pussycat...
>>
>> I've frightened a wererat under your chair. Apparently the tail sprouted
>> sometime during this thread.
>
><stroke>
>describe this wonderful tail of yours then
Full and curvy.
>
>> ><Buzzards investment down>
>> >don't forget your mini-uzi.
>>
>> I prefer something I can stash in a boot.
>
>you could smuggle in a Granatepistol if you're willing to look like a
>Baywatch dwarf. Failing that, boots can easily hold small handguns and
>significantly long knives. You might be able to stash a Skorpion
>machinepistol (although it's only a .25).
Handgun will do. I don't like flashy stuff.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
>> ><begging required>
><she takes Amex>
>> >I guess I'd better get Amex then
>>
>> Good. That's one of my other stock holdings.
>
>then I'll go on a spree and never pay it back
It would have to be one heck of a spree. The stock's a gold mine now.
>
>> >> >> <There are lots of S&M playmates out there>
>> >Satan!!!!!!!!!!<braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat>
>>
>> Not far off the mark there.
>>
>> Actually that's a true about the voodoo god. Desi Arnaz pledged to mention
>> Babaloo every chance he got if I Love Lucy made it big.
>
>at least he was open about it. It's not like popular culture exists in
>a vacuum and is untouchable.
That's the funny thing, given the time in which I Love Lucy thrived. Probably
everyone else thought he wasn't serious.
Besides, I'm being a little unfair. My parents consider Baba demonic, but he
isn't to the practicing voodun.
>
><can't just change a kid's name through adoption>
>> How do you explain the females of the Brady Bunch all taking on the last
>name
>> "Brady?"
>
>blatant idiocy. His wife's dead and her hubby raped the daughters, who
>act like that out of trauma. They got together because this serial
>rapist found the boys and did them as well.
It can be legally done, I'd say. It's the morality of disowning your parents
that makes it seem improbable.
>
>> >> ><what happens when you don't drive>
>> ><suicide NYC style>
><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
>> That wouldn't be suicidal -- that's a rush. It should be made into a theme
>park ride.
>
>complete with everybody shooting at you?
Playing Dodge 'em's always fun.
>
>> <Stay away from my uncle>
>>
>> Remind me to sit safely next to your Mom at family gatherings.
>
>safely? You haven't met my mother and her inability to shut up.
We can continue our discussion on the merits of Norway.
>
>> >> ><five gold stars = scent sample>
>> ><giving Bunsen a blast>
>> >> ><sluuuuurp>
>> >>
>> >> Such a cuddly little pup. <sniffle>
>> >
>> ><cuddle, cuddle>
>> >found it!
>>
>> You stuck your hands down there?? Ewww.
>
>considering what I've found, you may benefit from this discovery
Somehow, I don't think so.
>
>> >how about I pick you up in my cab and take you to a movie?
>>
>> As long as it's not Stigmata. Saw it, and it's straight to video fodder.
>
>I'll just get out my Taxi Driver's Guide to Dating
Which means you'll take me to Manhattan by way of Pittsburgh and then
expect a tip.
>
><angst pits cause drug imagery fanfics?>
>> But why am I thinking Mt. Nevermind is a giant bong?
>
>because it is. Besides, that was investigative journalism, not a
>fanfic, which invokes different references. Tell me if you feel like
>say going postal in the Inn of the Last Home.
Maybe after inhaling the angst for a few more days.
>
><she thinks she's got inside info on my defences>
>> It's been working so far.
>
>ever heard of disinformation?
I think you're getting some now.
>
>> >> <Simon regulates the amount of screaming allowed upstairs>
>> Will your Mom get another Mickey Mouse balloon for his birthday?
>
>the last one scared the shit out of him by hovering next to his bed
He can always puncture the thing with his crocodile skinner.
>
><Sean Kelly, model Catholic>
<Koalataur's comedy routine>
>
><inconvenient self-preservation instinct>
>> What a cute little survivalist Koalataur you are.
>
>you make a great picture in my lens
My right profile is actually better.
>
>> ><Altie caused Floyd?>
><'skepticism' buying time for Scully>
>> Those older women will be your downfall.
>
>I'm just using her
>
>> >you look delectable
>>
>> Just whetting your appetite, dear.
>
>I may be forced to fully eat you
I always leaving wanting more.
>
><List of assorted gifts>
>
>>I picked up a similar pendant in Egypt -- a cartouche, I believe it's
>>called. I use it as a charm on my bracelet sometimes.
>
>mine's evidently bigger as I wouldn't hang it from *my* wrist
I really don't like to wear necklaces, so I always put my pendants on
bracelets.
>
>>> <Aussies are waiting for Jeff's other shoe to drop.>
><*Rocky*!>
>>>> Madonnas fulfill only after the wedding.
>>>
>>>*_BUGGER_*
>
>You wouldn't respect me if I did otherwise.
>
>sure I'd respect you
What a gentleman.
>
>><drunkosaur incident>
<My first swig of Scotch>
>
>clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
It was fear on their faces first. No one wanted to explain to my boss that
they'd accidently killed me.
>
> My jaw locked up for a solid minute. Whereupon every man in the
room wanted the same drink I had.
>
>sure they didn't just want to keep your mouth shut?
I think that was supposed to be a lesson on corporate boozing.
>
>>And you think I'm the masochist.
>
<Rohan doesn't drink that much>
Neither do I. Not even as part of my corporate educatioh.
Tolstrup
>
> Let's say some lucky stiff did discover the truth of Krynnish creation.
> It would still allow wiggle room for "noncanonical" myths because the
> truth would be regarded as one of many versions.
an omniscient book must abide by what is defined in game material
> >> ><can easily check if those stars have planets>
<undead scrying>
> Cute idea. Might be the way to determine which moon Malys came from.
you could use a dragon with a breathing spell for that
> <On second thought, just stop publishing both old and new heretical
> novels.>
<game line noncanon?>
the game line should stick to canon. Seeing as it's ridiculous to say
that Chronicles isn't canon, that should be respected. I mainly
disregard the modules because they clearly weren't written with the
scope of creating the world in mind.
> <We're 80 books to late for change>
> >it's something that should have been done from the outset, and there is
> >no adequate reason why they didn't do so.
>
> I tend to agree, especially since in the beginning, the game line was the
> reason for the books' existence, and continuity is important in campaigns.
when W&H changed Ariakas, they should've discussed the decision and have
either DoSD or the modules change so they're uniform. But clearly the
books have been the making and enduring feature of DL.
> ><gods are in FR etc>
> Unlike Lloth, Tak tends to focus more on strengthening her followers
> than chasing down the good guys. Tak on FR would look to cultivate
> the matron mothers, Braegen D'Aerthe, or Artemis Entreri types.
remember, she leads the Stupid gods. And Dri$$t has to look like easy
xp to her.
> <DoSF may have been only a test>
> >
> >certainly not the actions of an Ul figure.
>
> It depends. Thousands of probably wink out existence daily in the Krynnish
> cosmos, so unless Krynn's demise had a universe shattering impact (like
> the Raistlin scenario in Legends) the High God would have to be convinced
> to interfere.
we've got no reason to think the High God is active beyond the sphere.
Certainly Ao would get pissed off if this 'first among equals' of
overgods looked after Krynn (similar to Poland in world terms, with FR
being America).
<getting back at the dentist>
> He wouldn't suffer for long, as he has an unlimited supply of dental
> implants.
but they're not sterile anymore
> <LotR embodies chivalric archetypes found in Morte D'Arthur>
> >
> >that was the period version of 'the historical movie' wasn't it? Think
> >Braveheart or Joan of Arc.
>
> LotR is more of a lament for the loss of dreams in the face of reality,
> rather than a historical drama, so it tells the story in black and white,the
> way you always knew Sir Galahad was the good one and Modred the bad
> one. Tolkein's KingArthur have been the guy from Camelot, not the guy
> from Excalibur.
the black & white morality and politics is what I meant. Did you
realise just how overwhelmingly badly the Poms were portrayed in
Braveheart? It's no accident that the only 'good guy' south of the
border was French.
> <Mists of Avalon's a bit too 1990s for JRR>
> Marion Zimmer Bradley seems to like to write about AC/DC heroines. Her
> Cassandra of Troy was in love with Helen and Aeneas.
nobody believed her when she spoke The Oracles Of The Velvet Tongue? I
was wondering the exact reason for Morgaine and Raven sleeping together.
Could've been innocent...
> >there's got to be *some way* of doing it. She's a goddess!
>
> But she's not the Energizer Bunny. Huma and Raistlin proved the gods
> themselves are not invincible.
like I've said, it's like knowing that technically a dragon can be
killed with a potato knife.
> >and then I'll take out Clinton with a frozen lamington to impress
> >Christina Ricci
>
> David Hinkley has a fan?
why weren't you backing him up? You were about fifteen at the time
weren't you? Reagan is near the top of my 'people who must die' list.
> <Gilbert does not want to go to college>
> >I guess you'll have to shoot them off his back then
>
> More like shoot them out from under him. They'll probably carry
> Gil on their shoulders like a parrot.
show their kidneys who's boss. You realise he'd fall about five times
his length, don't you?
> Only dragons should have breath weapons :-).
> >
> <Stay away from the garlic bread, Slith!>
>
<omelettes>
> My little cousin refuses to watch me eat lobster rolls because they're so
> gooey. The kid just doesn't know what's good for him.
so I take it your mother also had a sister 18 years younger?
> >> <Searched for Sword on Yahoo>
> ><you can't prove anything>
<didn't deal direct with Nozza>
> He'd get off if Noriega can finger the guy who sold Bush the snow.
Sean's got that in his briefcase next to 'who shot JFK' (answer is JFK,
smeghead) and 'why are we the invasion capital of the universe?'
<purgatory as reincarnation?>
> Exactly. If there is a heaven, what's worse than being told to come back
> later?
getting carded
> <Lassard rates a B>
>
> Lassard has retired to the Blue Oyster Club.
with that wife of his who only appeared in the first flick, and the
immortal loaner goldfish?
> >> >> <The Aussie syllabus isn't heavy on the Brontes>
<Adelaide: barrels of fun>
> A different take on shooting fish in a barrel.
no fish involved
> >Pikachu ain't a rat. That's like calling the child of a woman who
> >denied sleeping with anybody the Second Coming.
>
> Nowadays, the child would be result of alien experiments. But Pikachu's
> just as much a bubonic carrying rodent as Sean.
Sean doesn't have the black death. The Birthing Plague can only be
transferred voluntarily, and he doesn't know how. And Pikachu is NOT A
RAT. You'll be hearing from Sean's solicitors.
> >logic?
>
> None. Some rich guy bought the remnants of the London Bridge and
> rebuilt it in Arizona. He may have moved it since, I believe.
what a @#$@$%#$ #%^$%^& of a &**&(&& &&(^&&%%^&*^
> >> >the blade sight is a bit painful on the soft palate
> >> You call *that* a better lure?
> >
> >I've also got gold cards from Macys and Victoria's Secret (the owners
> >won't surface for some time)
>
> That's an awful lot of trouble to go to just to leer at the VS catalog models.
I provide the card, encouraging large expenditure. I end up carrying
parcels, so I have to go home with them.
> Dez' real father, Chris, has admitted that Dez is an experienced cowgirl.
he actually said "Dezra was porked by a centaur"?
> >> <Rohan reincarnates as Jar Jar>
> >> Darth Jar Jar? What a scary thought.
> >
> >there can be only one
>
> Jar Jar McCloud? That's even worse.
I'd happily decapitate him
> <Gambling addicts can have unlimited relapses on the gov't>
> >
> >Brazil option
>
> ??
declare war on poverty. Join a death squad.
> <Why did Henry marry his brother's widow?>
>
> Apparently Catherine and Henry were a love match. He lasted 12 years
> with her, and if she would have born a son, chances are he would have
> stayed with her.
which is why the marriage was declared to never have taken place,
rendering Mary a bastard?
> <Queen Elizabeth slept with nuns?>
>
> No. I meant that Elizabeth somehow grafted that Virgin Queen title after
> sleeping with her stepmother's husband, Lord Dudley, and Lord Dudley's
> stepson. That last relationship was a Crysania-Tandar match, with the
> added dimension that Liz was bald and pockmarked by this time.
added dimension? I understood Catherine Parr was 'mature' when she
married Hezza. Presumably her son was from a second marriage, making
Dud her third. Dud must've been in his fifties, with Cathy just plain
too old to join in.
> ><a valid Catholic marriage lasts to death>
<she was married to God first>
> >loophole?
>
> Big time. Although someone may have tried to pawn off the Queen as a
> virgin, since she had never given birth.
isn't it a sin to withhold conjugal rights?
> >> >> ><how many fingers?>
> >one?
>
> How many gold stars does that make?
you've got the rulebook
> <Angst pits inspire Mouseketeer Terrorism>
> >why don't you just go through the whole gym bag?
>
> I have. You have a hole in your left sock.
you can tell which foot's which? And I meant it figuratively. "Going
through the whole gym bag" is a Falling Down-type expression.
> ><if I give Pete something the Hasbro CEO will be jealous>
> >nice to be wanted in a scary sorta way
>
> Well if we're talking 220, ahem, 100 kilos, you can keep upto 100
> Rentonites in clover.
shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
> <Bunsen's been picking up souveniers>
>
> >what'd he pick from the dirty clothes basket?
> He didn't get that far. He took my papal rosary and all of a sudden got the
> urge to visit the Vatican.
Did you at least help him clean his snorkel?
Do you want that back?
> <Scratch lotteries are rigged>
> And every fifth prize is for one dollar, of course.
we get $2-3, about the price of a ticket.
> >> ><cats walk themselves>
> >> <Australia declares martial law on felines>
> <Equal rights for Aussie felines>
>
> >humans and animals. Great combo.
>
> Spike must be on the 10 Most Wanted list, given his astonding body count.
he's also good at accumulating patsies
> <Snow White's Evangelical Prostitution Scam>
<Altie's been watching Valley of the Ultravixens>
> >madonnas shouldn't watch Bosomania
>
> No danger of that.
of course, you just heard the lyrics somewhere
> <Jamie thinks Sturm slept with Kit because of a subliminal crush>
> >
> >okay, so why the hell did he do that? Memory loss?
>
> IIRC, it was moment of weakness combined with great acting on Kit's
> part. After all, if Kit were in love with Sturm, wouldn't Sturm be doing a
> noble thing by freeing Tanis to find his true love?
>
> I don't buy that last bit, either.
sounds like something Sean would reason. Besides, Kit was all Tanis had
> >> ><fratricide... what's killing your own noninfant kids?>
> >> <I'm still looking it up. My dictionary's at work. I'm still on
> infanticide>
infanticide is a mother killing her newborn child from postnatal stress
> <Designer drugs would have kept the Roman Empire alive>
> >cool. I'll fire up the time machine
>
> So that's where the time travel device is.
I kinda forgot where I left it. Don't think they'll notice a VW in
Roman ruins do you?
> ><everybody at TSR faces the press, Rabe survives>
> >> But she's hungry for revenge.
> >
> >and I'm hungry for Dhamon's head
>
> Good luck. He did kill half of Ansalon, you know.
that's why I've got me a fifty cal sniper rifle and a scope with an
effective range of about a mile
> >> >> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
> >> >maybe I should come around to your place then
> >>
> >> I'll leave the bubble bath on the sink.
> >
> >as my host you should stick around and watch
>
> No one's supposed to see the birthmark before its time. Remember to
> wash behind your ears.
I'm not actually planning to remove clothes or turn on taps
> >Raistlin never cared about women until he needed Crysania pure? He's
> >got the worst self-destructive impulses I've ever seen.
>
> You're absolutely right. The more powerful he became, the more he looked
> for reasons to feel sorry for himself.
gotta keep that angsty edge going
> >> >> <what about character assassination?>
> >yes, but you're not widely recognised and he can fiddle things. Know
> >what lawyers are specifically taught to do?
>
> Successfully win invasion of privacy lawsuits when a person isn't widely
> known?
more like carve up 'false' saints ready for the BBQ. Dirt on anybody.
> >> <The rate, if not the level of, acquisition of human rights in banana
> >republics is enviable. Governments are out to legislate culture>
> >>
> <Domestic terrorist should be treated just like international terrorists>
cool. If we get together to bomb something in America neither will be
tempted to cop a plea
<antigovernment within reason>
> Civil disobedience I believe in. But to risk killing FBI agents who may have
> never done anything wrong because they represent the government is not
> something I'd advocate.
the kids and normal dilberts in the building I was concerned about.
With acts like Waco (for which he was evening the score) the feds made
their own bed. Of course, it's dumb to actually kill cops and expect to
live. There has been at least one cop-killing resulting in unofficial
executions in Victoria.
> >> >> ><Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
> >> ><Henry the Impotent>
<Cathy the Slut>
> She was incredibly brazen, and hired the guy who took her virginity as her
> personal secretary. Henry might have let her slide if she weren't so obvious.
did Hezza bring this bloke in in the first place? I suppose it never
occured to her that for a very good reason making the king look like a
cuckold is Treason?
> <The Bunsen anaerobic workout>
> >he also likes to try and shit in midwalk. I just keep draggin' him.
>
> Poor pooch. Isn't it worse to have him leave a trail as you walk on?
he doesn't get to that stage. I usually get him home as soon as
possible, although by then he's often changed his mind.
<user pays but with a safety net>
> I'm thinking of airlines here in the States which were once regulated by
> the govt. There are very few charity cases involved in plane travel but
> the govt footing maintenance bills.
fair enough
> >see above. Corporatisation's the way to go.
>
> I think we're agreeing in a roundabout way.
dammit. But you're with The Man
<Puppy propulsion.>
> >I was thinking of using the shotty before it got that close
>
> Quite a lot of optimism bubbles up from those angst pits, eh?
did I mention I've got sonar and a CO2-powered poisontip speargun?
> <Crysania's newfound compassion and her decimated clerical corps post
> Kit's war would have occupied her first 10 years.>
> >maybe not 1st ten years, but pre 2nd gen in any event. 25 years is
> >quite reasonable.
>
> Let's say Crysania did start to turn her attention to the KoS. How do we
> know she didn't have a say in the advances that were made, such as the
> admission of women and non-solamnics, and was allowing nature to take
> its course with the Measure?
if she was actually condoning Gunthar rewriting it himself both of them
should've been assassinated.
<who do I kill?>
> >so take a flamethrower and get 'em both. Or borrow Hillary's gun and
> >use it to kill Monica before returning it.
>
> Maybe Guiliani will buy into number 2.
as above but take Hillary's knife and return it to her left ear
> >> >your turn
> >>
> >> <click>
> >>
> >> Oops. Just send me the dry cleaning bill, okay?
> >
> >I make a point of not billing headless undead women.
>
> I'll see to it that this sentiment gets engraved on your tombstone.
you think I use ammo that gives more than a 1 in 6 chance of survival?
You need sensory and vocal organs to order an inscription.
> >> But it was a conflict among their kin, and therefore of much more
> >> importance than the well being of humans.
> >
> >about the same as an international issue
>
> It's an international issue that they care about. For example, the war over
> the Faulklands was important only to the UK and Argentina.
KS war was about elves vs humans, with some half-elves and settlers of
both races being forced to take 'the wrong side.' It wasn't elf-elf.
> >the holy six period stuff was explicit - the *spirit* of the Measure
> >allowed the dragon trap et al. Returning to their heyday meant
> >remembering the spirit.
>
> Was it the spirit of the Measure or the Oath? Sturm specifically said that
> the Oath was all he had left to cling to.
the Oath *is* the spirit of the Measure
> ><Raist the flaunter>
> <The Measure was the glue that kept the knights together pre WotL>
> >which once had a tangible spirit instead of being meaningless
> The Measure provided something spelled out in block letters that
> dispirited folk could follow to have some structure to their lives. The
> spirit would have come from living the Oath.
doesn't the Measure then clearly become a dated throwback to the bad old
days? They were supposed to make the transition to heroes during the
war after all.
<High Warrior and that's it>
> >because of the spotlight they *had* to move forward
>
> They had to become stronger or get wiped out. There are lots of PR ploys
> that would accomplish that without changing the Measure.
hard to change centuries of bad press and it's obvious inadequacies
<I physically can't have a husband>
> >both outgrew Qualinesti. And in any event, they of all people knew how
> >important it was to keep people together.
>
> Given Porthios comments about Tanis in the Puppet King, it seems like
> Tanis had not gained that many points back home despite the WotL.
> Laurana, however, seemed to have devoted a great deal of her time to the
> elves exclusively.
she was actually disowned was she not? Both were outcasts who would've
waited for Solostaran to cark it before trying the Quazis.
> >> ><Lozza in obscurity?>
> ><homebody or workaholic?>
<Gil the papoose, elven addiction>
> >source? How consistent is this with that treaty? There must have been
> >KoS side to it.
>
> Gil's reminiscences on how mom was always there for him in the Puppet King,
> for one. And the references in DoSF to Laurana helping out Alhana for another.
> And if Tanis was in Palanthas and abroad during DoSF, Laurana had to be on
> the sylvan shuttle back home.
of course, Time of the Twins is what's actually relevant...
we just can't rely on DoSF
> ><mellow at 21?>
> >> >I wasn't *that* bad. I try to use logic is all.
> >>
> <Shalafi as the prototype crispy newbie >
>
> Shalafi was not your biggest fan, but I think Kinth really got his goat.
> But the kid that sticks out to me was Kiryu, who really wanted to win at least
> one discussion with you.
Kiryu at least was reasonably polite. Shalafi is one of the people I
will never under any forseeable circumstances respond to.
Wanna go see American Pie?
> <Every single new book has some canon and continuity issues>
>
> I can live with good characterizations, though. And I'm willing to read
> good stuff while waiting for a Spirit of the Wind quality book now and then.
I just couldn't get over the logical impossibility of Dezra's Quest.
I'm not increasingly turning elsewhere, but certainly I don't remember
recent DL books as fondly as say the new W.E.B. Griffin Corps novel
(which resolved enough threads to finish the series, while leaving
several others hanging and with 2-3 years left of the war. Grrr).
> <Anne's got to do it all by her lonesome>
>
> But she is ultimately responsible for the quality of her research materials.
> Shared world authors have to rely on what someone else has put
> together. No one can enter Pern and turn Canth into a green dragon.
she should try writing under the influence. I'm actually inclined to be
less tolerant of shared-world authors than otherwise, as the team has
much better resources.
> ><'certain authors' are saboteurs>
<write kender tales if marketed as>
> We can always call them non factual and treat them as kender tales.
but that's a fan label and retrospective. For example, aren't most of
the worst ones claimed as absolute fact?
<Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
> >> >> <Explanation of a BYOC game>
> ><player input focus>
> >I'm more used to everybody rolls up a character and we go from there.
> >Although creating Sean I had to have a sixteen year-old schoolboy who
> >lived in a small, remote Alaskan town.
>
> Except in a few instances, I didn't play in too many munchkin campaigns, so
> advancement was slow. And if the game got boring, I'd like to pull the
> character out, give her a rest and maybe change the scenery.
I generally play in medium-term games, although this Werewolf game is my
longest ever and has been going for a year now, with four new players
coming in and two leaving (one because of work, one because the game
became too subtle for him and besides I was about to kill the player
after nearly that entire period of utter frustration), as well as a
couple of young kids who lasted the first session.
Game I have in mind is probably medium-term. I've got a scenario where
they find a batch of nukes and have to hastily depart their jobs...
> ><Morten is Cancer Man>
> >> >dash it all
> >> He's dashing it all right. Richard Knaak got the brunt of the dash.
> >eat shit hornhead!
> Sargonnas was the best part of the novel.
got a grenade launcher?
> >I generally don't use a microscope when committing crimes against God
>
> He used a scalpel.
I thought he used IVF
> >> >> >> <My lawyer is enforcing the law of bloodless pain>
> >> >I'll be there for you
> >> I knew I could count on you.
> >I can show you how to add, subtract, divide and do the times table, all
> >with my grenade launcher-equipped battle rifle.
>
> And it took you this long to count how many fingers I had up?
I had to get the Image Enhancer adjusted
> >> >> ><Simon's birthday?>
> >> >> <Mom, I've blown up my baby brother>
> >one way of looking at it
>
> Simon makes the pet care burden so much easier. You'd miss that.
I walk and feed the bloody thing anyway
> >> ><Sean, pussyslayer>
> ><tail, flammable?>
<she hates dropping in unexpectedly>
> >then say 'hi' to a poison-dripping combat knife wielded with Dex 21+ and
> >weapon specialisation.
>
> I didn't say I'd enter through the front door.
remember, he knew you were coming, including the direction and your
rough game plan. Have *you* got the Tunnel Runner gift Danger Sense?
He has the reflexes of a greased ferret on speed
> >> >> >> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
> >good thing I'm packing heavier than that poofy munchkin in Desperado
>
> Antonio Banderas rocks, and he can sing to boot.
El Mariachi wasn't bad. And 'throwing away violence' then going back
for it was the ultimate munchkin statement.
> >> >> >> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
> ><Sword on the bankroll?>
<Sean and the Sisters of Pleasure hotline>
> >Sean's doing that, although Sword wouldn't give a shit. Otoh, he
> >personally wiped out the drug cartel he used to work for.
>
> Makes it hard to collect his last paycheck.
did that already, plus a lot of severance, compound interest etc. No
notice either.
> >> >> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
> ><Sean's vibrissae as candle wicks>
> >which is why I've cast a 'pain link' between you two. And in human form
> >he's bigger than you.
>
> In human form almost everyone is bigger than me. But dangerous things come
> in small packages.
like the S&W ASP which has the ballistics of a 9mm and the wounding
power of a .44 magnum?
To reiterate, Sean has reflexes well beyond human maximum, plus
professional level knifefighting training. And a magical weapon, not to
mention the silenced subgun over his shoulder.
> >> >> >> >> >> ><combat hairties>
> ><could use putative tail for defeeting me>
> ><stroke>
> >describe this wonderful tail of yours then
>
> Full and curvy.
mmm. I shall stroke and caress it. When I have claimed it I will wear
it as a scarf or perhaps hang it over my mantlepiece.
> >> ><Buzzards investment down>
> >you could smuggle in a Granatepistol if you're willing to look like a
> >Baywatch dwarf. Failing that, boots can easily hold small handguns and
> >significantly long knives. You might be able to stash a Skorpion
> >machinepistol (although it's only a .25).
>
> Handgun will do. I don't like flashy stuff.
get yourself a Glock compact. It takes a bit of pulling, but it's also
idiotproof and comes in a variety of calibres.
<getoutofmymind!>
> >> ><begging required>
> ><she takes Amex>
> >> >I guess I'd better get Amex then
> >>
> >> Good. That's one of my other stock holdings.
> >
> >then I'll go on a spree and never pay it back
>
> It would have to be one heck of a spree. The stock's a gold mine now.
bear in mind I've also got cards belonging to several people missing,
whereabouts unknown. That's quite a bit of credit.
<I Love Lucy's pact with Babaloo?>
> >at least he was open about it. It's not like popular culture exists in
> >a vacuum and is untouchable.
>
> That's the funny thing, given the time in which I Love Lucy thrived. Probably
> everyone else thought he wasn't serious.
everyone else had no idea what he was talking about
> Besides, I'm being a little unfair. My parents consider Baba demonic, but he
> isn't to the practicing voodun.
I take it your parents got the 'shut up you ignorant wog' treatment?
> ><can't just change a kid's name through adoption>
<Brady Bunch met after the ex-hubby raped both sets of kids, Mansoned
the first Mrs Brady and got executed>>
> It can be legally done, I'd say. It's the morality of disowning your parents
> that makes it seem improbable.
the legal issue is that it does actually substitute an adoptive parent
for the biological one. Traditionally it was done in total secret and
the child was never told.
> >> >> ><what happens when you don't drive>
> >> ><suicide NYC style>
> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
> >complete with everybody shooting at you?
>
> Playing Dodge 'em's always fun.
can't see you swatting planes
> >> <Stay away from my uncle>
> >safely? You haven't met my mother and her inability to shut up.
>
> We can continue our discussion on the merits of Norway.
Dad'd be at the same table, and also an aunty who talks even more and
spent some time in Sweden.
> >> ><cuddle, cuddle>
> >> >found it!
> >>
> >> You stuck your hands down there?? Ewww.
> >
> >considering what I've found, you may benefit from this discovery
>
> Somehow, I don't think so.
you're either clinically dead or bluffing
<cuddle>
> >I'll just get out my Taxi Driver's Guide to Dating
>
> Which means you'll take me to Manhattan by way of Pittsburgh and then
> expect a tip.
nope. I'll irrationally adopt your politics and take you to a porno.
> ><angst pits cause drug imagery fanfics?>
> >> But why am I thinking Mt. Nevermind is a giant bong?
> >
> >because it is. Besides, that was investigative journalism, not a
> >fanfic, which invokes different references. Tell me if you feel like
> >say going postal in the Inn of the Last Home.
>
> Maybe after inhaling the angst for a few more days.
what we really need to see is Bupu going around carving up all her
rivals for Raistlin's love.
> ><she thinks she's got inside info on my defences>
> >> It's been working so far.
> >ever heard of disinformation?
> I think you're getting some now.
you think that. But then I'm looking over your shoulder.
> >> Will your Mom get another Mickey Mouse balloon for his birthday?
> >
> >the last one scared the shit out of him by hovering next to his bed
>
> He can always puncture the thing with his crocodile skinner.
it's still in his room and would you believe it two months later there's
still helium in the body?
> ><Sean Kelly, model Catholic>
> <Koalataur's comedy routine>
> ><inconvenient self-preservation instinct>
> >> What a cute little survivalist Koalataur you are.
> >
> >you make a great picture in my lens
>My right profile is actually better.
>>> Just whetting your appetite, dear.
>
>>I may be forced to fully eat you
>I always leaving wanting more.
have you seen The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover?
I can certainly hoe into you like a banquet platter.
><List of assorted gifts>
>
<she's got a cartouche worn on a bracelet>
<mine's bigger than hers>
>I really don't like to wear necklaces, so I always put my pendants on
>bracelets.
also I seized and crushed your necklaces in a fit of jealousy. But I
can put some beautiful bracelets on your wrists.
I'm assuming you either have tiny pendants or baggy sleeves.
>>sure I'd respect you
>
>What a gentleman.
I try. And gentlemen never tell.
I'm applying for a job as a private school principal, so could you put
on a pinafore and help me practice?
>><drunkosaur incident>
<her first swig of Scotch>
<applause>
>It was fear on their faces first. No one wanted to explain to my boss that
>they'd accidently killed me.
Indispensable or just plain related? The trick is to skull it down
before you've had time to feel the alcohol. Icecold vodka's kewl too.
How did you get this dirt on your boss?
>I think that was supposed to be a lesson on corporate boozing.
as in, don't?
<Rohan doesn't drink that much>
>Neither do I. Not even as part of my corporate education.
without alcohol would we have Windows 95 and NSAKEY?
Man, I feel like a woman.
Rohan "hey kid, ever seen a grown man naked?" Tolstrup
Morten Brattbakk
Tolstrup <Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> skrev
> > Those older women will be your downfall.
>
> I'm just using her
She's telling you the truth, Rohan. Take it from me, I've been there.
Morten
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>Indispensable or just plain related?
Indispensable to the point that my boss is graciously allowing me to share in
her misery by working on a killer deadline that will keep me up most of
tonight.
Tune in tomorrow for the next thrilling chapter of "As the Koalataur Turns."
Altarielle
<sl...@online.no> writes:
>> > Those older women will be your downfall.
>>
>> I'm just using her
>
>She's telling you the truth, Rohan. Take it from me, I've been there.
LOL. I've missed you, Morten.
Do we have you back for good now?
afghanyat
>"I am Woman, hear me bark." -- Helen Reddy
Altarielle
<afgh...@primus.com.au> writes:
I am assuming that this was an attempt at humor. If it wasn't you can kiss my
ass.
Unless you really want to read how bad a bitch I can be, you should either add
the smiley or keep it to yourself.
Altarielle
__________________________________________________________________
"I am Woman, hear me roar." -- Helen Reddy
afghanyat
the only worse thing worse than a Communist and a Capitalist is a Feminist
all are ideologies that want to degenerate Humanity
Altarielle wrote in message
forever darkness
if you want to crap about stuff like that, go to a newsgroup that's
made for it. leave it out of here.
cassandra
______________________________________________________________________
"the children of the night... what beautiful music they make"
darkness... hidden from the eyes... absence of light...
______________________________________________________________________
http://www.cyberbeach.net/~spirit | "it can't rain all
| the time" - eric
"a pill to make you numb, a pill to make you dumb |
a pill to make you, anybody else..." - mm |
______________________________________________________________________
kinthalas
>
> (0_*)
> the only worse thing worse than a Communist and a Capitalist
Wow...kinda going after everybody there, eh?
Mercantilist? Feudalist?
--
This message is from, and was written by
kinthalas
<kint...@geocities.com>
afdl FAQ: http://kadatheron.dhs.org/~kinth/
Altarielle
<afgh...@primus.com.au> writes:
>(0_*)
>the only worse thing worse than a Communist and a Capitalist is a Feminist
>all are ideologies that want to degenerate Humanity
(O_*)
Unfortunately, we are never going to agree, so this conversation is over. The
only way that I can think of to degenerate humanity is through any contribution
that you may make to the gene pool.
Altarielle
<Creation myths don't interfere with "true" canon>
>
>an omniscient book must abide by what is defined in game material
Hold that thought.
>
><game line noncanon?>
>the game line should stick to canon. Seeing as it's ridiculous to say
>that Chronicles isn't canon, that should be respected. I mainly
>disregard the modules because they clearly weren't written with the
>scope of creating the world in mind.
Compare and contrast this statement to "the omniscient book must abide
by game material" idea.
>
<Ariakas' profession should not have been decided in a vacuum>
>But clearly the books have been the making and enduring feature of DL.
No one could have anticipated that the books would outstrip the game
line. And TSR wasn't going to pour money into the less profitable DL
module line just to keep it consistent with the novels.
>
<Tak in FR would take Lloth's worshippers, not chase good guys>
>
>remember, she leads the Stupid gods. And Dri$$t has to look like easy
>xp to her.
She must be a fan of Balder's Gate then.
>
<Krynn is one drop in the High God's bucket>
>
>we've got no reason to think the High God is active beyond the sphere.
>Certainly Ao would get pissed off if this 'first among equals' of
>overgods looked after Krynn (similar to Poland in world terms, with FR
>being America).
The gods may have carved up the universe the way the allies carved up
Germany, and the High God got dibs on Krynn.
>
><getting back at the dentist>
Non-sterile dental implants make revenge that much sweeter.
<LoTR has no grey in its color spectrum>
>the black & white morality and politics is what I meant. Did you
>realise just how overwhelmingly badly the Poms were portrayed in
>Braveheart? It's no accident that the only 'good guy' south of the
>border was French.
Unfortunately, it's in the Silmarillion and the Lost Tales that the darker
side of some heroes emerges, and these are only works in progress.
For example, Galadriel, a major heroine, is revealed to have come to
Middle Earth because she wanted to be a Queen.
>> <Mists of Avalon's a bit too 1990s for JRR>
>> Marion Zimmer Bradley seems to like to write about AC/DC heroines. Her
>> Cassandra of Troy was in love with Helen and Aeneas.
>
>nobody believed her when she spoke The Oracles Of The Velvet Tongue? I
>was wondering the exact reason for Morgaine and Raven sleeping together.
>Could've been innocent...
Marion finished the novel by having the Trojan princess marry a guy who
dressed as a woman to be closer to his goddess. To each his own, I suppose.
>
<Tak doesn't have the resources to power minions>
>like I've said, it's like knowing that technically a dragon can be
>killed with a potato knife.
But it's a one shot deal. We're talking Tak energizing minions on an
ongoing basis.
<What do mean you don't remember David Hinckley?>
I actually don't remember the event clearly, so I think I was younger
than 15. The Eddie Murphy parody is hilarious.
>
<Turning Gilbert into a parrot>
>
>show their kidneys who's boss. You realise he'd fall about five times
>his length, don't you?
Cats turn in midair. Gilbert'll find some place to sink his claws.
>
><omelettes>
>> My little cousin refuses to watch me eat lobster rolls because they're so
>> gooey. The kid just doesn't know what's good for him.
>
>so I take it your mother also had a sister 18 years younger?
It's my first cousin's son.
>
>> ><you can't prove anything>
><didn't deal direct with Nozza>
>> He'd get off if Noriega can finger the guy who sold Bush the snow.
>
>Sean's got that in his briefcase next to 'who shot JFK' (answer is JFK,
>smeghead) and 'why are we the invasion capital of the universe?'
But I bet Sean doesn't know where Carmen SanDiego is.
>
><purgatory as reincarnation?>
>> Exactly. If there is a heaven, what's worse than being told to come back
>> later?
>
>getting carded
That's the equivalent of going to hell.
>> Lassard from Police Academy has retired to the Blue Oyster Club.
>
>with that wife of his who only appeared in the first flick, and the
>immortal loaner goldfish?
Lassard's wife minds the florist shop for Hightower.
>
<Pikachu is too a rat>
>
>Sean doesn't have the black death. The Birthing Plague can only be
>transferred voluntarily, and he doesn't know how. And Pikachu is NOT A
>RAT. You'll be hearing from Sean's solicitors.
The solicitors should hit up Hasbro first. They have more money.
>>Some rich guy bought the remnants of the London Bridge and
>> rebuilt it in Arizona. He may have moved it since, I believe.
>
>what a @#$@$%#$ #%^$%^& of a &**&(&& &&(^&&%%^&*^
I don't think flattery will convince him to move the Bridge back
to London.
>
<Victoria's Secret as the better lure>
>I provide the card, encouraging large expenditure. I end up carrying
>parcels, so I have to go home with them.
You're such a boy scout.
>
>> Dez' real father, Chris, has admitted that Dez is an experienced cowgirl.
>
>he actually said "Dezra was porked by a centaur"?
No, he explained that Dez was meant to be a hellion. Caramon was
certain Dez had ridden the range though.
>
>> >> <Rohan reincarnates as Jar Jar>
>> Jar Jar McCloud? That's even worse.
>
>I'd happily decapitate him
With your luck, Gungans probably grow their heads back like hydras.
>
>> <Gambling addicts should be shipped to Brazil>
>> >
>> <Why did Henry marry his brother's widow?>
<It was a love match in the beginning>
>which is why the marriage was declared to never have taken place,
>rendering Mary a bastard?
The bastard Henry didn't want his male heir to be the illegitimate.
When Catherine didn't want to go quietly to a convent, they actively
started hating each other
>
<Queen Elizabeth makes Kit look like the virgin warlord>
>
>added dimension? I understood Catherine Parr was 'mature' when she
>married Hezza. Presumably her son was from a second marriage, making
>Dud her third. Dud must've been in his fifties, with Cathy just plain
>too old to join in.
Sorry -- Cathy Parr's husband was Thomas Seymour, not Lord Dudley.
They're three distinct men.
>
>> ><a valid Catholic marriage lasts to death>
><she was married to God first>
>> >loophole?
>>
>> Big time. Although someone may have tried to pawn off the Queen as a
>> virgin, since she had never given birth.
>
>isn't it a sin to withhold conjugal rights?
Not if the husband considers it a sacrifice for God.
>
<How many gold stars?>
>you've got the rulebook
Lost track. Oh well, it's time to start from scratch...
>
>> <Angst pits inspire Mouseketeer Terrorism>
>> >why don't you just go through the whole gym bag?
>>
>> I have. You have a hole in your left sock.
>
>you can tell which foot's which?
Of course, the socks curve differently. You mean you never noticed
it while doing the laundry?
>And I meant it figuratively. "Going >through the whole gym bag" is
a Falling Down-type expression.
I saw this Mike Douglas-as-nerd movie, but I don't remember the line.
>
<There's enough of Rohan to satisfy 100 Rentonites>
>
>shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
Eating fiber may help.
>
<Bunsen's on his way to Rome>
>
>Did you at least help him clean his snorkel?
>Do you want that back?
The rosary? No, the pup will need it more than I do.
>
>> >> <Australia declares martial law on felines>
>> <Equal rights for Aussie felines>
>>
>> >humans and animals. Great combo.
>>
>> Spike must be on the 10 Most Wanted list, given his astonding body count.
>
>he's also good at accumulating patsies
Spike Corleone, the Don of Melbourne.
>
>> <Snow White's Evangelical Prostitution Scam>
><Altie's been watching Valley of the Ultravixens>
<No she hasn't>
>> >madonnas shouldn't watch Bosomania
>>
>> No danger of that.
>
>of course, you just heard the lyrics somewhere
I've just gotten used to your thought patterns by now is all.
>
>> <Jamie thinks Sturm slept with Kit because of a subliminal crush>
>
>sounds like something Sean would reason. Besides, Kit was all Tanis had
True. And given Sturm's moroseness, it would have seem more in
character for him to nurture his love in silence and get pleasure from
agonizing over how noble he's being.
>
>> >> ><fratricide... what's killing your own noninfant kids?>
>> >> <I'm still looking it up. My dictionary's at work. I'm still on
>> infanticide>
>
>infanticide is a mother killing her newborn child from postnatal stress
Or a father killing a child for crying too much at night.
>
<Time Travelling to Rome to corner designer drug market>
>I kinda forgot where I left it. Don't think they'll notice a VW in
>Roman ruins do you?
VW? What ever happened to the Delorean?
>
>> ><everybody at TSR faces the press, Rabe survives>
<Dhamon is DL's answer to Drizzt>
>
>that's why I've got me a fifty cal sniper rifle and a scope with an
>effective range of about a mile
He'll only return from the dead later.
>
>> >> >> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
>> >> >maybe I should come around to your place then
>> >>
>> >> I'll leave the bubble bath on the sink.
>> >
>> >as my host you should stick around and watch
>>
>> No one's supposed to see the birthmark before its time. Remember to
>> wash behind your ears.
>
>I'm not actually planning to remove clothes or turn on taps
That's good. I'm saving my tub for a bare-ass naked Dalamar.
>
>> >Raistlin never cared about women until he needed Crysania pure? He's
>> >got the worst self-destructive impulses I've ever seen.
>>
>> You're absolutely right. The more powerful he became, the more he looked
>> for reasons to feel sorry for himself.
>
>gotta keep that angsty edge going
Invented angst is fraudulent. Anyone who has to manufacture it is only
looking for sympathy.
>
>> >> >> <what about character assassination?>
>> >yes, but you're not widely recognised and he can fiddle things. Know
>> >what lawyers are specifically taught to do?
>>
>> Successfully win invasion of privacy lawsuits when a person isn't widely
>> known?
>
>more like carve up 'false' saints ready for the BBQ. Dirt on anybody.
Depends on how much those saints have in the collection plate.
>
>> >> <The rate, if not the level of, acquisition of human rights in banana
>> >republics is enviable. Governments are out to legislate culture>
>> >>
>> <Domestic terrorist should be treated just like international terrorists>
>
>cool. If we get together to bomb something in America neither will be
>tempted to cop a plea
All the interesting causes are passe now.
>
><antigovernment within reason>
>
>the kids and normal dilberts in the building I was concerned about.
>With acts like Waco (for which he was evening the score) the feds made
>their own bed.
I don't agree with bomb the masses, even if they're feds. The person
directly responsible should be the one to pay the price.
>Of course, it's dumb to actually kill cops and expect to
>live. There has been at least one cop-killing resulting in unofficial
>executions in Victoria.
Sounds more like an out of control police force than the government.
In NYC the courts provide a 50-50 chance to get a cop convicted.
>
>> >> >> ><Marquis de Sade's sendoff>
>> >> ><Henry the Impotent>
><Cathy the Slut>
>
>did Hezza bring this bloke in in the first place?
Cathy hired him to prevent him from saying that she didn't come to
Hank's bed a virgin. Although you'd think Hank would know that.
>I suppose it never occured to her that for a very good reason making
> the king look like a cuckold is Treason?
Cathy boxed herself into a corner, because she intensified the affair
in order to produce a son she could palm off on Henry.
>
>> <The Bunsen anaerobic workout>
>> >he also likes to try and shit in midwalk. I just keep draggin' him.
>>
>> Poor pooch. Isn't it worse to have him leave a trail as you walk on?
>
>he doesn't get to that stage. I usually get him home as soon as
>possible, although by then he's often changed his mind.
But I thought the principal reason to walk a pup was to have the dog
poop as far away from home as possible.
>
><user pays but with a safety net>
<Encorporating is the way to go>
>> I think we're agreeing in a roundabout way.
>
>dammit. But you're with The Man
And enjoying every minute of it.
>
><Puppy propulsion.>
>> >I was thinking of using the shotty before it got that close
>>
>> Quite a lot of optimism bubbles up from those angst pits, eh?
>
>did I mention I've got sonar and a CO2-powered poisontip speargun?
But your outboard is a Labrador Retriever. It evens out.
>
>> <Crysania's newfound compassion and her decimated clerical corps post
>> Kit's war would have occupied her first 10 years.>
>> Let's say Crysania did start to turn her attention to the KoS. How do we
>> know she didn't have a say in the advances that were made, such as the
>> admission of women and non-solamnics, and was allowing nature to take
>> its course with the Measure?
>
>if she was actually condoning Gunthar rewriting it himself both of them
>should've been assassinated.
Crysania would have worked with Gunthar to enact cultural changes first.
She'd rely on Gunthar to nurture selected up and comers on the way the
KoS should be run.
>
><what would Rudy do?>
>
>> Maybe Guiliani will buy into number 2.
>
>as above but take Hillary's knife and return it to her left ear
Her secret service detail complicates things.
>
>> >I make a point of not billing headless undead women.
>>
>> I'll see to it that this sentiment gets engraved on your tombstone.
>
>you think I use ammo that gives more than a 1 in 6 chance of survival?
>You need sensory and vocal organs to order an inscription.
That's right, you do. That's why I'd do you the favor for old time's sake.
>
>> >> But it was a conflict among their kin, and therefore of much more
>> >> importance than the well being of humans.
>> >
>> >about the same as an international issue
Just how long has there been fighting in the Gulf, and when did the
world decide to meddle? Only when the oil supply was threatened.
The same principle applies, with the elves as "the world."
>>
>KS war was about elves vs humans, with some half-elves and settlers of
>both races being forced to take 'the wrong side.' It wasn't elf-elf.
But the issue directly impacted the royal house. Alhana's not leaving
Porthios over the Measure.
>> Was it the spirit of the Measure or the Oath? Sturm specifically said that
>> the Oath was all he had left to cling to.
>
>the Oath *is* the spirit of the Measure
Sturm kept the Oath while obeying explicit rules within the Measure. If
honoring the Oath were enough, then revising the Measure is moot.
>
>doesn't the Measure then clearly become a dated throwback to the bad old
>days? They were supposed to make the transition to heroes during the
>war after all.
Not necessarily, because when Sturm thinks about all the reasons why
he didn't stick around to become a knight, the examples he cites are
mostly rooted in knights failing to living up to the Oath.
>
><High Warrior and that's it>
>> >because of the spotlight they *had* to move forward
>>
>> They had to become stronger or get wiped out. There are lots of PR ploys
>> that would accomplish that without changing the Measure.
>
>hard to change centuries of bad press and it's obvious inadequacies
Winning the WotL did it and losing to the KoT reversed it. It is
"what have you done for me lately" on a large scale.
>
><I physically can't have a husband>
<Well, technically ... never mind>
<Laurana traveled more in elven lands than Tanis>
>
>she was actually disowned was she not? Both were outcasts who would've
>waited for Solostaran to cark it before trying the Quazis.
Wasn't Laurana at home when her father died? Besides, she's been
mentioned as being involved in Porthios' attempts to cleanse
Silvanesti and consolidate his regime.
>
>> >> ><Lozza in obscurity?>
>> ><homebody or workaholic?>
><Gil the papoose, elven addiction>
>> And if Tanis was in Palanthas and abroad during DoSF, Laurana had to be on
>> the sylvan shuttle back home.
>
>of course, Time of the Twins is what's actually relevant...
>we just can't rely on DoSF
I don't have my copy handy, but doesn't Time of the Twins also bring up the
fact that Laurana was in Silvanesti?
>
>> ><mellow at 21?>
>> >> >I wasn't *that* bad. I try to use logic is all.
>> >>
>Kiryu at least was reasonably polite. Shalafi is one of the people I
>will never under any forseeable circumstances respond to.
Fair enough. I never agreed with any of the "dinos don't talk to me" laments.
>Wanna go see American Pie?
I don't condone the sexual exploitation of baked goods.
>
>> <Every single new book has some canon and continuity issues>
<A good story can make up for continuity issues>
>
>I'm not increasingly turning elsewhere, but certainly I don't remember
>recent DL books as fondly as say the new W.E.B. Griffin Corps novel
Now that you're looking at things from an adult point of view, your
literary tastes may be changing.
>> <Anne's got to do it all by her lonesome>
>>
<Anne McCaffrey is the only person who can muddy Pernish waters..
>
>she should try writing under the influence. I'm actually inclined to be
>less tolerant of shared-world authors than otherwise, as the team has
>much better resources.
That would explain the "Dolphins of Pern." But the writers are not a
team, they're independent contractors. Nancy Berberick wasn't a
consultant on Crysania's cameo in the Rose and the Skull.
>
>> ><'certain authors' are saboteurs>
><write kender tales if marketed as>
>> We can always call them non factual and treat them as kender tales.
>
>but that's a fan label and retrospective. For example, aren't most of
>the worst ones claimed as absolute fact?
That's because one girl's mead is another girl's poison. And canon or
no, you'll never know how bad a book is until you read it.
>
><Sword's on holiday in Indonesia>
>> >> >> <Explanation of a BYOC game>
>> ><player input focus>
>>
>> Except in a few instances, I didn't play in too many munchkin campaigns, so
>> advancement was slow. And if the game got boring, I'd like to pull the
>> character out, give her a rest and maybe change the scenery.
>
<Rohan's latest game has been going on over a year>
I'd never be able to go a year on a game these days. I just finished a
short term one and it was getting difficult even to do that with our
schedules.
>Game I have in mind is probably medium-term. I've got a scenario where
>they find a batch of nukes and have to hastily depart their jobs...
Same nukes come in handy if you have to end the game real quick.
>
>> ><Morten is Cancer Man>
>> >> >dash it all
>> >> He's dashing it all right. Richard Knaak got the brunt of the dash.
>> >eat shit hornhead!
>
>> Sargonnas was the best part of the novel.
>
>got a grenade launcher?
I liked RotBS. Your future stepdad may be interested, though.
>
>> >I generally don't use a microscope when committing crimes against God
>>
>> He used a scalpel.
>
>I thought he used IVF
Dr. Moreau created beast men, and created a cat honey for himself.
>
>> >> >> ><Simon's birthday?>
>> >> >> <Mom, I've blown up my baby brother>
>> >one way of looking at it
>>
>> Simon makes the pet care burden so much easier. You'd miss that.
>
>I walk and feed the bloody thing anyway
But Simon takes care of Bunsen's playtime.
>
>> >> ><Sean, pussyslayer>
>> ><tail, flammable?>
><she hates dropping in unexpectedly>
>> >then say 'hi' to a poison-dripping combat knife wielded with Dex 21+ and
>> >weapon specialisation.
>>
>> I didn't say I'd enter through the front door.
>
>remember, he knew you were coming, including the direction and your
>rough game plan. Have *you* got the Tunnel Runner gift Danger Sense?
>He has the reflexes of a greased ferret on speed
Sounds more like Speedy Gonzalez to me. And even Sylvester caught
Speedy once.
>
>> >> >> >> <Ricky Martin's shakedown routine>
>> >good thing I'm packing heavier than that poofy munchkin in Desperado
>>
>> Antonio Banderas rocks, and he can sing to boot.
>
>El Mariachi wasn't bad. And 'throwing away violence' then going back
>for it was the ultimate munchkin statement.
Some men can carry munchkin and make it work.
>
>> >> >> >> <Rupert Murdoch blunts the Sword's edge>
>> ><Sword on the bankroll?>
><Sean and the Sisters of Pleasure hotline>
>> >Sean's doing that, although Sword wouldn't give a shit. Otoh, he
>> >personally wiped out the drug cartel he used to work for.
>>
>> Makes it hard to collect his last paycheck.
>
>did that already, plus a lot of severance, compound interest etc. No
>notice either.
He'll have a hard time getting a new job without references from his old one.
>
>> >> >> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
>> ><Sean's vibrissae as candle wicks>
>> >which is why I've cast a 'pain link' between you two. And in human form
>> >he's bigger than you.
>>
>> In human form almost everyone is bigger than me. But dangerous things come
>> in small packages.
>
>like the S&W ASP which has the ballistics of a 9mm and the wounding
>power of a .44 magnum?
>To reiterate, Sean has reflexes well beyond human maximum, plus
>professional level knifefighting training. And a magical weapon, not to
>mention the silenced subgun over his shoulder.
Every Samson has his Delilah.
>
>> ><could use putative tail for defeeting me>
>> ><stroke>
>> >describe this wonderful tail of yours then
>>
>> Full and curvy.
>
>mmm. I shall stroke and caress it. When I have claimed it I will wear
>it as a scarf or perhaps hang it over my mantlepiece.
Sorry. It goes everywhere I do. I'm very attached to it.
>
><getoutofmymind!>
>> >> ><begging required>
>> ><she takes Amex>
>> >> >I guess I'd better get Amex then
>> >>
>> >> Good. That's one of my other stock holdings.
>> >
>> >then I'll go on a spree and never pay it back
>>
>> It would have to be one heck of a spree. The stock's a gold mine now.
>
>bear in mind I've also got cards belonging to several people missing,
>whereabouts unknown. That's quite a bit of credit.
Your signature's probably a dead giveaway.
>
><I Love Lucy's pact with Babaloo?>
>
>everyone else had no idea what he was talking about
>
>> Besides, I'm being a little unfair. My parents consider Baba demonic, but
>he isn't to the practicing voodun.
>
>I take it your parents got the 'shut up you ignorant wog' treatment?
Not really. Baba's big among Cubans and to a lesser extent Dominicans,
not Puerto Ricans. It was more the deeprooted Catholicism talking there
than anything else.
>
>> ><can't just change a kid's name through adoption>
><Brady Bunch met after the ex-hubby raped both sets of kids, Mansoned
>the first Mrs Brady and got executed>>
>
>> It can be legally done, I'd say. It's the morality of disowning your
>parents that makes it seem improbable.
>
>the legal issue is that it does actually substitute an adoptive parent
>for the biological one. Traditionally it was done in total secret and
>the child was never told.
In your case, you're an adult and can probably change your name to
whatever you please. As far as the Bradys were concerned, the girls'
father was dead, and the girls were capable of making their wishes known.
>
>> >> >> ><what happens when you don't drive>
>> >> ><suicide NYC style>
>> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
>> >complete with everybody shooting at you?
>>
>> Playing Dodge 'em's always fun.
>
>can't see you swatting planes
That's what Kong's for.
>
>> >> <Stay away from my uncle>
>> >safely? You haven't met my mother and her inability to shut up.
>>
>> We can continue our discussion on the merits of Norway.
>
>Dad'd be at the same table, and also an aunty who talks even more and
>spent some time in Sweden.
Trondheim doesn't mean anything to your dad or your aunt, I'd wager.
>
>> >> ><cuddle, cuddle>
>> >> >found it!
>> >>
>> >> You stuck your hands down there?? Ewww.
>> >
>> >considering what I've found, you may benefit from this discovery
>>
>> Somehow, I don't think so.
>
>you're either clinically dead or bluffing
><cuddle>
Do you and Bunsen want to be alone now?
>
>> >I'll just get out my Taxi Driver's Guide to Dating
>>
>> Which means you'll take me to Manhattan by way of Pittsburgh and then
>> expect a tip.
>
>nope. I'll irrationally adopt your politics and take you to a porno.
Irrationally adopting my politics negates the porno.
>
>> ><angst pits cause drug imagery fanfics?>
>> >> But why am I thinking Mt. Nevermind is a giant bong?
>> >
>> >because it is. Besides, that was investigative journalism, not a
>> >fanfic, which invokes different references. Tell me if you feel like
>> >say going postal in the Inn of the Last Home.
>>
>> Maybe after inhaling the angst for a few more days.
>
>what we really need to see is Bupu going around carving up all her
>rivals for Raistlin's love.
That would certainly explain why Crysania didn't busy herself with the
KoS for 30 odd years.
>
>> ><she thinks she's got inside info on my defences>
>> >> It's been working so far.
>> >ever heard of disinformation?
>> I think you're getting some now.
>
>you think that. But then I'm looking over your shoulder.
You are looking over somebody's shoulder, I'm sure.
>
>> >> Will your Mom get another Mickey Mouse balloon for his birthday?
>> >
>> >the last one scared the shit out of him by hovering next to his bed
>>
>> He can always puncture the thing with his crocodile skinner.
>
>it's still in his room and would you believe it two months later there's
>still helium in the body?
You're going to need a cleric to turn undead Mickey.
>
>> ><Sean Kelly, model Catholic>
>> <Koalataur's comedy routine>
>
>> ><inconvenient self-preservation instinct>
>> >> What a cute little survivalist Koalataur you are.
>> >
>> >you make a great picture in my lens
>>My right profile is actually better.
>
>>>> Just whetting your appetite, dear.
>>
>>>I may be forced to fully eat you
>
>>I always leaving wanting more.
>
>have you seen The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover?
>I can certainly hoe into you like a banquet platter.
The banquet is by invitation only, and you didn't rsvp.
>
>><List of assorted gifts>
>>
><she's got a cartouche worn on a bracelet>
><mine's bigger than hers>
>>I really don't like to wear necklaces, so I always put my pendants on
>>bracelets.
>
>also I seized and crushed your necklaces in a fit of jealousy. But I
>can put some beautiful bracelets on your wrists.
>I'm assuming you either have tiny pendants or baggy sleeves.
The cartouche is a little over an inch. I don't walk around with it -- I
wear bracelets only when I'm going out. Rings are as flashy as I go
day to day.
>
>>>sure I'd respect you
>>
>>What a gentleman.
>
>I try. And gentlemen never tell.
>
>I'm applying for a job as a private school principal, so could you put
>on a pinafore and help me practice?
And gentlemen shouldn't ask either.
>
>>><drunkosaur incident>
><her first swig of Scotch>
><applause>
>>It was fear on their faces first. No one wanted to explain to my boss that
>>they'd accidently killed me.
>
>Indispensable or just plain related? The trick is to skull it down
>before you've had time to feel the alcohol. Icecold vodka's kewl too.
>How did you get this dirt on your boss?
This was a different boss, and he tended to err on overprotectiveness.
>>I think that was supposed to be a lesson on corporate boozing.
>as in, don't?
as in, how. I didn't pass, so thank God I learned how to be indispensable.
>><Rohan doesn't drink that much>
>>Neither do I. Not even as part of my corporate education.
>without alcohol would we have Windows 95 and NSAKEY?
You'd have Windows 95 at least. The Microsoft folks don't strike
me as the Scotch swiggers that our Finance troops can be.
>Man, I feel like a woman.
Sure you physically can't have a husband?
afghanyat
//(-0-)\\
Altarielle wrote in message
<19990924012447...@ngol03.aol.com>...
>In article <93807418...@diddley.primus.com.au>, "afghanyat"
><afgh...@primus.com.au> writes:
>
>>(0_*)
>>the only worse thing worse than a Communist and a Capitalist is a Feminist
>>all are ideologies that want to degenerate Humanity
>
>(O_*)
>
>Unfortunately, we are never going to agree, so this conversation is over.
The
>only way that I can think of to degenerate humanity is through any
contribution
>that you may make to the gene pool.
>
>
>
>.
>
>
afghanyat
kinthalas wrote in message <37EA94DA...@geocities.com>...
>afghanyat wrote:
>>
>> (0_*)
>> the only worse thing worse than a Communist and a Capitalist
>
Morten Brattbakk
Altarielle <altar...@aol.com> skrev
> >She's telling you the truth, Rohan. Take it from me, I've been there.
>
> LOL. I've missed you, Morten.
Ahww... I've missed you to, Al.
> Do we have you back for good now?
I guess so. I've been on the move (got myself a real teaching job, my
student days are finally over), and the phone company's been reeaaal slow
at giving me a phone in my new apartment. But now everything is smooth, and
I should be here at least in until school's out sometime in June 2000. But
it seem's Larris is gone. :( Hope he'll be back soon.
Morten
Tolstrup
> >an omniscient book must abide by what is defined in game material
> Hold that thought.
> ><game line noncanon?>
> >the game line should stick to canon. Seeing as it's ridiculous to say
> >that Chronicles isn't canon, that should be respected. I mainly
> >disregard the modules because they clearly weren't written with the
> >scope of creating the world in mind.
>
> Compare and contrast this statement to "the omniscient book must abide
> by game material" idea.
I'm not making sweeping rules. I've always inserted an 'if it makes
sense' condition. There are always exceptions, and recently CoL should
have been followed by SS and vice versa with DoSD and DLC15A. Game
material is important because in black and white terms it explains fact
rather than perception. It's an 'extended form' of the omniscient view
of Chronicles etc.
> <Ariakas' profession should not have been decided in a vacuum>
> >But clearly the books have been the making and enduring feature of DL.
>
> No one could have anticipated that the books would outstrip the game
> line. And TSR wasn't going to pour money into the less profitable DL
> module line just to keep it consistent with the novels.
there was no excuse for not enforcing consistency from the start.
Certainly by Legends it was obvious which was more popular.
> <Tak in FR would take Lloth's worshippers, not chase good guys>
> >remember, she leads the Stupid gods. And Dri$$t has to look like easy
> >xp to her.
> She must be a fan of Balder's Gate then.
if I can't play it, nobody can. I virused it.
> <Krynn is one drop in the High God's bucket>
> >we've got no reason to think the High God is active beyond the sphere.
> >Certainly Ao would get pissed off if this 'first among equals' of
> >overgods looked after Krynn (similar to Poland in world terms, with FR
> >being America).
>
> The gods may have carved up the universe the way the allies carved up
> Germany, and the High God got dibs on Krynn.
but Ao only has one sphere, and it's clearly stated that divine power
does not extend into the Flow.
> ><getting back at the dentist>
> Non-sterile dental implants make revenge that much sweeter.
seen Reservoir Dogs?
> <LoTR has no grey in its color spectrum>
<Braveheart: MacReagan>
> Unfortunately, it's in the Silmarillion and the Lost Tales that the darker
> side of some heroes emerges, and these are only works in progress.
> For example, Galadriel, a major heroine, is revealed to have come to
> Middle Earth because she wanted to be a Queen.
so Papa Tolkein realised he had to provide some depth? I have
difficulty accepting 'high level characters' spontaneously appearing.
> >> <Mists of Avalon's a bit too 1990s for JRR>
<Forever Darkness did WHAT?>
> >nobody believed her when she spoke The Oracles Of The Velvet Tongue? I
> >was wondering the exact reason for Morgaine and Raven sleeping together.
> >Could've been innocent...
>
> Marion finished the novel by having the Trojan princess marry a guy who
> dressed as a woman to be closer to his goddess. To each his own, I suppose.
O-KAY. Now he'll wear her underwear instead of the other way around?
> <Tak doesn't have the resources to power minions>
> >like I've said, it's like knowing that technically a dragon can be
> >killed with a potato knife.
>
> But it's a one shot deal. We're talking Tak energizing minions on an
> ongoing basis.
this thing would be the Death Star. She'd only need one (or maybe 2-3
so they can do shifts, and she'd only really have to spend more energy
if one actually got killed, a task so difficult nobody except a suicidal
Galahad or a megalomaniac archmage would try (and almost certainly fail)
> <What do mean you don't remember David Hinckley?>
>
> I actually don't remember the event clearly, so I think I was younger
> than 15. The Eddie Murphy parody is hilarious.
say what? He's got to be 40 by now. I just remember hearing that the
WTC bombers tried to get back their deposit on the van.
> <Turning Gilbert into a parrot>
> >
> >show their kidneys who's boss. You realise he'd fall about five times
> >his length, don't you?
>
> Cats turn in midair. Gilbert'll find some place to sink his claws.
true. Sean was recently seen running up a 'packmates' leg, nearly
getting used as a dart, and then once she'd realised he had too firm a
grip, tackling all those spots a dire wolf can't scratch. We've also
established that the 'war of rage' included Ratkin being used as Garou
tampons
> ><omelettes>
<lobster roll?>
> >so I take it your mother also had a sister 18 years younger?
>
> It's my first cousin's son.
bloody humans and generational hierarchies...
> >> ><you can't prove anything>
> ><didn't deal direct with Nozza>
> >> He'd get off if Noriega can finger the guy who sold Bush the snow.
> >
> >Sean's got that in his briefcase next to 'who shot JFK' (answer is JFK,
> >smeghead) and 'why are we the invasion capital of the universe?'
>
> But I bet Sean doesn't know where Carmen SanDiego is.
how do you think he got in with the CIA?
> ><purgatory as reincarnation?>
<getting carded at Pearly Gates>
> That's the equivalent of going to hell.
'you're too young to be dead'
> >> Lassard from Police Academy has retired to the Blue Oyster Club.
> >
> >with that wife of his who only appeared in the first flick, and the
> >immortal loaner goldfish?
>
> Lassard's wife minds the florist shop for Hightower.
in addition to being a tall stereotype he's a Tandar?
> <Pikachu is too a rat>
> >Sean doesn't have the black death. The Birthing Plague can only be
> >transferred voluntarily, and he doesn't know how. And Pikachu is NOT A
> >RAT. You'll be hearing from Sean's solicitors.
>
> The solicitors should hit up Hasbro first. They have more money.
yeah, but Hasbro didn't say Pikachu was a rat and Sean was carrying
around a contagious disease...
<London Bridge in Arizona>
> >what a @#$@$%#$ #%^$%^& of a &**&(&& &&(^&&%%^&*^
>
> I don't think flattery will convince him to move the Bridge back
> to London.
he can have the bloody thing. What possible use would he have for it?
> <Victoria's Secret as the better lure>
>
> >I provide the card, encouraging large expenditure. I end up carrying
> >parcels, so I have to go home with them.
>
> You're such a boy scout.
more like a hunter
<all Canadians are perverts>
> >he actually said "Dezra was porked by a centaur"?
> No, he explained that Dez was meant to be a hellion. Caramon was
> certain Dez had ridden the range though.
der. She's more like the female version of Chef. Betcha she secretly
seduced Sturm when she was eight.
> >> >> <Rohan reincarnates as Jar Jar>
> >> Jar Jar McCloud? That's even worse.
> >I'd happily decapitate him
>
> With your luck, Gungans probably grow their heads back like hydras.
flametongue. It's going down.
> >> <Gambling addicts should be shipped to Brazil>
> <It was a love match in the beginning>
> The bastard Henry didn't want his male heir to be the illegitimate.
> When Catherine didn't want to go quietly to a convent, they actively
> started hating each other
War of the Roses. Cool. What's wrong with a Soth Moment?
> <Queen Elizabeth makes Kit look like the virgin warlord>
> Sorry -- Cathy Parr's husband was Thomas Seymour, not Lord Dudley.
> They're three distinct men.
for brevity, anybody in Europe male or female she didn't shag?
Incidentally, have you seen Killing Time?
<divine loophole>
> >isn't it a sin to withhold conjugal rights?
>
> Not if the husband considers it a sacrifice for God.
did he know about this before he bought her?
> <How many gold stars?>
> >you've got the rulebook
>
> Lost track. Oh well, it's time to start from scratch...
let's say I've got three
> >> <Angst pits inspire Mouseketeer Terrorism>
> >you can tell which foot's which?
>
> Of course, the socks curve differently. You mean you never noticed
> it while doing the laundry?
I just chuck 'em in the machine and occasionally hang 'em out
> >And I meant it figuratively. "Going >through the whole gym bag" is
> a Falling Down-type expression.
>
> I saw this Mike Douglas-as-nerd movie, but I don't remember the line.
wasn't used. It's a synonym for going postal
> <There's enough of Rohan to satisfy 100 Rentonites>
> >
> >shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
>
> Eating fiber may help.
not in that sense, more like being rubbed into smelly Americans
> <Bunsen's on his way to Rome>
> >Did you at least help him clean his snorkel?
> >Do you want that back?
> The rosary? No, the pup will need it more than I do.
I agree: the Vatican is actually Neraka
> >> Spike must be on the 10 Most Wanted list, given his astonding body count.
> >
> >he's also good at accumulating patsies
>
> Spike Corleone, the Don of Melbourne.
he's one of *those* eunuchs
> >> <Snow White's Evangelical Prostitution Scam>
> ><Altie's been watching Valley of the Ultravixens>
> <No she hasn't>
> >of course, you just heard the lyrics somewhere
>
> I've just gotten used to your thought patterns by now is all.
you ain't seen NOTHING
> >sounds like something Sean would reason. Besides, Kit was all Tanis had
>
> True. And given Sturm's moroseness, it would have seem more in
> character for him to nurture his love in silence and get pleasure from
> agonizing over how noble he's being.
while wearing chainmail mitts? Eww that'd hurt.
> >> >> ><fratricide... what's killing your own noninfant kids?>
> >infanticide is a mother killing her newborn child from postnatal stress
> Or a father killing a child for crying too much at night.
legally it's just the mother doing it iirc. Different jurisdictions.
> <Time Travelling to Rome to corner designer drug market>
>
> >I kinda forgot where I left it. Don't think they'll notice a VW in
> >Roman ruins do you?
>
> VW? What ever happened to the Delorean?
that's why I haven't done crack in two thousand years
> >> ><everybody at TSR faces the press, Rabe survives>
> <Dhamon is DL's answer to Drizzt>
> >
> >that's why I've got me a fifty cal sniper rifle and a scope with an
> >effective range of about a mile
>
> He'll only return from the dead later.
I'm working on a 'sniper cannon.' I figure physical destruction of his
body with White Phosphorus is a good start, in a dead magic zone.
> >> >> >> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
> >I'm not actually planning to remove clothes or turn on taps
>
> That's good. I'm saving my tub for a bare-ass naked Dalamar.
I didn't necessarily want to know that. Dalamar can help you clean up.
> >gotta keep that angsty edge going
>
> Invented angst is fraudulent. Anyone who has to manufacture it is only
> looking for sympathy.
I don't have to invent it
> >> >> >> <what about character assassination?>
> >> >yes, but you're not widely recognised and he can fiddle things. Know
> >> >what lawyers are specifically taught to do?
> >more like carve up 'false' saints ready for the BBQ. Dirt on anybody.
>
> Depends on how much those saints have in the collection plate.
I guess it's the old-fashioned way then
> >> <Domestic terrorist should be treated just like international terrorists>
> >
> >cool. If we get together to bomb something in America neither will be
> >tempted to cop a plea
>
> All the interesting causes are passe now.
equal rights for women, racism... the 60s issues are still there
> ><antigovernment within reason>
> >the kids and normal dilberts in the building I was concerned about.
> >With acts like Waco (for which he was evening the score) the feds made
> >their own bed.
>
> I don't agree with bomb the masses, even if they're feds. The person
> directly responsible should be the one to pay the price.
probably only Koresh and maybe a few others were what the ATF had a
problem with. If you're taking on a monolith you hack off chunks.
<cop-killing: death sentence>
> Sounds more like an out of control police force than the government.
> In NYC the courts provide a 50-50 chance to get a cop convicted.
which only encourages the Sally Field school of law enforcement...
> ><Cathy the Slut>
> >did Hezza bring this bloke in in the first place?
> Cathy hired him to prevent him from saying that she didn't come to
> Hank's bed a virgin. Although you'd think Hank would know that.
that's assuming he could ever get it up. I'm thinking First Knight.
Richard Gere as Lancelot? How disgusting.
> >I suppose it never occured to her that for a very good reason making
> > the king look like a cuckold is Treason?
>
> Cathy boxed herself into a corner, because she intensified the affair
> in order to produce a son she could palm off on Henry.
assuming she was normally fertile, and that they had a basic
understanding of obstetrics or whatever it is, wouldn't she have known
to just hide out somewhere for a month? Long sea voyage sounds fine.
> >> <The Bunsen anaerobic workout>
> >he doesn't get to that stage. I usually get him home as soon as
> >possible, although by then he's often changed his mind.
>
> But I thought the principal reason to walk a pup was to have the dog
> poop as far away from home as possible.
no. Don't you have laws? He likes the sights and smells (and I need
the exercise)
> >> I think we're agreeing in a roundabout way.
> >
> >dammit. But you're with The Man
>
> And enjoying every minute of it.
Bunsen left a locker key under the doormat. You'll find a briefcase in
the locker. Take it to work. Left dial is the number of minutes on the
timer. Right dial to 666 arms it. Don't try to open it.
> ><Puppy propulsion.>
> >did I mention I've got sonar and a CO2-powered poisontip speargun?
>
> But your outboard is a Labrador Retriever. It evens out.
I'm humoring Bunsen before I pull out the compact outboard
> >if she was actually condoning Gunthar rewriting it himself both of them
> >should've been assassinated.
>
> Crysania would have worked with Gunthar to enact cultural changes first.
> She'd rely on Gunthar to nurture selected up and comers on the way the
> KoS should be run.
still, she'd only leave the really detailed things unscrutinised
> ><what would Rudy do?>
> >> Maybe Guiliani will buy into number 2.
> >as above but take Hillary's knife and return it to her left ear
> Her secret service detail complicates things.
where there's a will there's a way. Okay, take Monica's gun and shoot
Hillary, should be a capital offence.
> >you think I use ammo that gives more than a 1 in 6 chance of survival?
> >You need sensory and vocal organs to order an inscription.
>
> That's right, you do. That's why I'd do you the favor for old time's sake.
but you don't have a head anymore
> >> >about the same as an international issue
>
> Just how long has there been fighting in the Gulf, and when did the
> world decide to meddle? Only when the oil supply was threatened.
> The same principle applies, with the elves as "the world."
the Measure is a world-affecting issue. The 'first' Gulf War was
between the alternating oases of stability that the west would rather
just forget about. Nobody was threatened, and war's profitable if it's
not around your financial interests.
<kinslayer war>
> But the issue directly impacted the royal house. Alhana's not leaving
> Porthios over the Measure.
there *will* be questions asked in the Senate about the durability of
the Solamnic alliance...
> >the Oath *is* the spirit of the Measure
>
> Sturm kept the Oath while obeying explicit rules within the Measure. If
> honoring the Oath were enough, then revising the Measure is moot.
Sturm was obviously going ad hoc. The Measure should just be tossed,
but then again 'honour' is pretty nebulous and they obviously need at
least a constitution. It's like Cadderly of Oz and his church.
> >doesn't the Measure then clearly become a dated throwback to the bad old
> >days? They were supposed to make the transition to heroes during the
> >war after all.
> Not necessarily, because when Sturm thinks about all the reasons why
> he didn't stick around to become a knight, the examples he cites are
> mostly rooted in knights failing to living up to the Oath.
all those extraneous rules and conventions arose after they stopped
paying attention to the Oath.
> ><High Warrior and that's it>
> >hard to change centuries of bad press and it's obvious inadequacies
> Winning the WotL did it and losing to the KoT reversed it. It is
> "what have you done for me lately" on a large scale.
superficial politics only work in the public sphere. In the Thalas-
Enthia steam baths, reality counts.
> <Laurana traveled more in elven lands than Tanis>
> >she was actually disowned was she not? Both were outcasts who would've
> >waited for Solostaran to cark it before trying the Quazis.
> Wasn't Laurana at home when her father died? Besides, she's been
> mentioned as being involved in Porthios' attempts to cleanse
> Silvanesti and consolidate his regime.
we didn't find out, could've been that Solostaran kept up 'I have no
daughter' but Porthios just ignored him. He was after all functional
head of the elves during the war iirc. Sure she would've helped him,
but she's one of the few people with personal access to most of the
crowned heads of Ansalon, and her true calling is obvious.
> >> >> ><Lozza in obscurity?>
> >> ><homebody or workaholic?>
> ><Gil the papoose, elven addiction>
> >of course, Time of the Twins is what's actually relevant...
> >we just can't rely on DoSF
> I don't have my copy handy, but doesn't Time of the Twins also bring up the
> fact that Laurana was in Silvanesti?
that might have been transitory as I pointed out before. DoSF is
totally full of shit.
> >> ><mellow at 21?>
> >> >> >I wasn't *that* bad. I try to use logic is all.
> >Kiryu at least was reasonably polite. Shalafi is one of the people I
> >will never under any forseeable circumstances respond to.
> Fair enough. I never agreed with any of the "dinos don't talk to me" laments.
firstly his complaints were spurious (I generally avoid answering the
same question fifty times. Should be in the FAQ, which isn't my job).
Secondly, he was extremely rude and personally insulting. Thirdly, I
know his real name :)
> >Wanna go see American Pie?
>
> I don't condone the sexual exploitation of baked goods.
we're going to go into what people condone when they consume specific
media products? 50% of 'blockbuster' movies provide stereotypes of
almost Reaganite simplicity. The hypocrisy of comparing Rambo 2 to
Rambo 3 is enormous. The big rating local cop drama around here
regularly features themes like 'evil, greasy wogs' and 'nasty people
from the city destroying the small country town."
> >> <Every single new book has some canon and continuity issues>
> <A good story can make up for continuity issues>
only partially. Why can't they put in the effort to make it consistent?
> >I'm not increasingly turning elsewhere, but certainly I don't remember
> >recent DL books as fondly as say the new W.E.B. Griffin Corps novel
>
> Now that you're looking at things from an adult point of view, your
> literary tastes may be changing.
hence my dire warnings. I'm relieved to know that I'm by no means the
oldest around here. However, if they keep dumbing it down (Dezra's
Quest being a prime example of this patronising approach) what do they
expect? Naturally I'm re-evaluating things, and there's a longish list
of things I consider to have betrayed me.
> >she should try writing under the influence. I'm actually inclined to be
> >less tolerant of shared-world authors than otherwise, as the team has
> >much better resources.
> That would explain the "Dolphins of Pern." But the writers are not a
> team, they're independent contractors. Nancy Berberick wasn't a
> consultant on Crysania's cameo in the Rose and the Skull.
then TSR is stupid. I don't expect Anne to be a trained secretary, but
I'm sure TSR has plenty. The mistakes in R&S are an obvious example of
where failure to maintain a database hits home. And they should talk.
Hell, when I was writing something once I asked a classmate what a girl
we both knew would say on discovering a marijuana crop.
<kender tale is a reader label>
> That's because one girl's mead is another girl's poison. And canon or
> no, you'll never know how bad a book is until you read it.
I'm not planning to read Uncle Trapspringer
> <Rohan's latest game has been going on over a year>
>
> I'd never be able to go a year on a game these days. I just finished a
> short term one and it was getting difficult even to do that with our
> schedules.
we had a two-month break between 'chapters' (the first was about us
coming to terms with our lycanthropy), so more like 10-11 months.
Played some L5R, my character was an aesthetic samurai who followed
around the other pcs because they were obviously going to start a fight
which would be amusing to watch.
<country cops find six nukes>
> Same nukes come in handy if you have to end the game real quick.
would you believe you can disarm a nuke by shooting it? I'd be using
them more as a device that terrorists went to great expense to pick up
in the middle of nowhere (there's a tv cop show I want to send up), and
that their bosses wouldn't mind getting their mitts on either - with
extreme prejudice.
> >got a grenade launcher?
>
> I liked RotBS. Your future stepdad may be interested, though.
why should I read something I know to be a name recognition cash-in?
> Dr. Moreau created beast men, and created a cat honey for himself.
what a pervert
> But Simon takes care of Bunsen's playtime.
he's got a lot to go around
> ><she hates dropping in unexpectedly>
<He has the reflexes of a greased ferret on speed>
> Sounds more like Speedy Gonzalez to me. And even Sylvester caught
> Speedy once.
but Speedy isn't an anarchist with a Pain Dagger. Sean has more than
one trick up his sleeve.
<Desperado - *the* munchkin flick>
> Some men can carry munchkin and make it work.
bullshit heroics and stunts just bore me. Sword taking aimed single
shots and Sean actually being superhuman is about my limit. I have
difficulty watching Bond movies.
<Sword, voluntarily unemployed>
> He'll have a hard time getting a new job without references from his old one.
he got his current job by helping detectives bust the dealers he decided
to let live. We're not sure, but probably he let an innocent witness
live and got busted by one of the cops he was helping.
> >> >> >> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
> Every Samson has his Delilah.
you're nearly twice Sean's age. And he'd certainly realise you were
going for a knife...
<full and curvy tail>
> >mmm. I shall stroke and caress it. When I have claimed it I will wear
> >it as a scarf or perhaps hang it over my mantlepiece.
> Sorry. It goes everywhere I do. I'm very attached to it.
you don't have a say in the matter
> ><getoutofmymind!>
<she's got Amex stock>
> >bear in mind I've also got cards belonging to several people missing,
> >whereabouts unknown. That's quite a bit of credit.
>
> Your signature's probably a dead giveaway.
it's surprisingly easy to do other peoples' signatures
> Not really. Baba's big among Cubans and to a lesser extent Dominicans,
> not Puerto Ricans. It was more the deeprooted Catholicism talking there
> than anything else.
so they didn't write angry letters?
> ><Brady Bunch met after the ex-hubby raped both sets of kids, Mansoned
> >the first Mrs Brady and got executed>>
> In your case, you're an adult and can probably change your name to
> whatever you please. As far as the Bradys were concerned, the girls'
> father was dead, and the girls were capable of making their wishes known.
those of them that weren't insane?
> >> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
> >can't see you swatting planes
>
> That's what Kong's for.
but maybe having seen both films he's on a learning curve?
> >Dad'd be at the same table, and also an aunty who talks even more and
> >spent some time in Sweden.
>
> Trondheim doesn't mean anything to your dad or your aunt, I'd wager.
never stopped them before
> >> >considering what I've found, you may benefit from this discovery
> >> Somehow, I don't think so.
> >you're either clinically dead or bluffing
> ><cuddle>
> Do you and Bunsen want to be alone now?
you thought I was cuddling Bunsen? You *are* clinically dead.
<Taxi Driver date>
> Irrationally adopting my politics negates the porno.
I guess I'll just have to cleanse you
> >> ><angst pits cause drug imagery fanfics?>
> >> >> But why am I thinking Mt. Nevermind is a giant bong?
<Falling Down in Solace>
> >> Maybe after inhaling the angst for a few more days.
> >
> >what we really need to see is Bupu going around carving up all her
> >rivals for Raistlin's love.
>
> That would certainly explain why Crysania didn't busy herself with the
> KoS for 30 odd years.
gotta hand it to her for dodging the deadliest assassin ever that long.
> >> ><she thinks she's got inside info on my defences>
> >> >> It's been working so far.
> >> >ever heard of disinformation?
> >> I think you're getting some now.
> >you think that. But then I'm looking over your shoulder.
> You are looking over somebody's shoulder, I'm sure.
piss off Simon
> >> He can always puncture the thing with his crocodile skinner.
> >
> >it's still in his room and would you believe it two months later there's
> >still helium in the body?
>
> You're going to need a cleric to turn undead Mickey.
Drizzt Mickey. Can't be killed.
> >>I always leaving wanting more.
> >
> >have you seen The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover?
> >I can certainly hoe into you like a banquet platter.
> The banquet is by invitation only, and you didn't rsvp.
I can always gatecrash
> >><List of assorted gifts>
> >>
> ><she's got a cartouche worn on a bracelet>
> ><mine's bigger than hers>
>
> The cartouche is a little over an inch. I don't walk around with it -- I
> wear bracelets only when I'm going out. Rings are as flashy as I go
> day to day.
I think practical. Brass knucks. Formal wear includes a dreadnought
pendant
> >>>sure I'd respect you
> >>What a gentleman.
> >I try. And gentlemen never tell.
> And gentlemen shouldn't ask either.
how the hell else do we get what we want?
> >>><drunkosaur incident>
> ><her first swig of Scotch>
> ><applause>
> This was a different boss, and he tended to err on overprotectiveness.
did you report him or just deal with it the old-fashioned way?
> >>I think that was supposed to be a lesson on corporate boozing.
>
> >as in, don't?
>
> as in, how. I didn't pass, so thank God I learned how to be indispensable.
by taking the hate the boss deserves?
> >><Rohan doesn't drink that much>
>
>>>Neither do I. Not even as part of my corporate education.
>>without alcohol would we have Windows 95 and NSAKEY?
>You'd have Windows 95 at least. The Microsoft folks don't strike
>me as the Scotch swiggers that our Finance troops can be.
you let a secret like NSAKEY come to light and it's more than Scotch
>>Man, I feel like a woman.
>Sure you physically can't have a husband?
perhaps tenses are a problem here...
and finally I finish this bloody thing. I nearly strangled my left
wrist with a rifle sling today, and last night I was just too busy to
finish this. The test sucked but I made it. If you need tucker at La
Trobe Uni Bundoora, Plaka does puny burgers and doesn't pay attention to
temperature, while Slices does downright crappy potato wedges, bitter
and without sour cream.
Time to find out what Lupin III does next. Or I might go and walk
Fenris aka Bunsen.
Rohan "crinos Libra Fleur" Tolstrup, fondling the chunky custom grips of
a precision-handrebuilt Marine Expeditionary Unit .45.
Morten Brattbakk
> firstly his complaints were spurious (I generally avoid answering the
> same question fifty times. Should be in the FAQ, which isn't my job).
It's everybody's job. Post or e-mail me about what you (that means all of
you) think should (and shouldn't) be in the FAQ, and I'll use my
dictatorial skills and decide if you're right or not.
So, Rohan, I've been away for awhile, and what should be in the FAQ?
BTW, I have thought about putting the "Are Zifnab and Fizban the same
character?" in there, but haven't because the answer to it is a major
spoiler for Death Gate.
Morten
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>> Compare and contrast "game line should stick to Chronicles" to "the
>> omniscient book must abide by game material" idea.
>
>I'm not making sweeping rules. I've always inserted an 'if it makes
>sense' condition. There are always exceptions, and recently CoL should
>have been followed by SS and vice versa with DoSD and DLC15A. Game
>material is important because in black and white terms it explains fact
>rather than perception. It's an 'extended form' of the omniscient view
>of Chronicles etc.
But the game line relies on hooks and being open ended. Taking Waylorn
Wyvernsbane as an example, he could be used as potentially Huma,
Paladine, or a nutsy old man. If a writer wants to pick up the Waylorn
story, and make him none of the above, why should he or she be
constrained not to do so?
>
>there was no excuse for not enforcing consistency from the start.
>Certainly by Legends it was obvious which was more popular.
But the inconsistency path had already been paved by Chronicles and
the only possible way to fix it in world might even be to consider the
novels Krynnish historical fiction, and maybe the game line to be the
encyclopedia.
In any event. It would be great if WotC put a stake in the ground and
said "x events are historical" and "y events are kender tales" but until
they do, it will take a major deterioration in the literary quality of their
writing stable for me to pass up DL.
>
<Tak's a Balder's Gate fanatic>
>
>if I can't play it, nobody can. I virused it.
That's very Raistlin of you. I think McCaffee may be ahead of you, since
they have released a new virus protection DAT.
>
>> <Krynn is one drop in the High God's bucket>
<Favoring Krynn is a red flag to other high gods>
>
>but Ao only has one sphere, and it's clearly stated that divine power
>does not extend into the Flow.
But does this apply to the Krynnish cosmology, or is this purely FR
related?
>
>> ><getting back at the dentist>
>> Non-sterile dental implants make revenge that much sweeter.
>
>seen Reservoir Dogs?
Yuck. I may still need the oral surgeon if the other wisdom teeth
become a problem.
>
>> <LoTR has no grey in its color spectrum>
<Middle Earth's greys are defined in unfinished stories>
>
>so Papa Tolkein realised he had to provide some depth? I have
>difficulty accepting 'high level characters' spontaneously appearing.
It was more like he chose to tell Frodo's story, which kicked off the
age of mortals and the decline of the high elves. Larris would probably
know better than I how long Tolkein spent developing the concept of
Middle Earth, but it had to be on the order of 10 years.
All the characters that appear superpowerful in LotR are easier to
accept in the advent of the Lost Tales -- Gandalf falls under the
category of minion that we debated before.
>
>> >> <Mists of Avalon's a bit too 1990s for JRR>
><Forever Darkness did WHAT?>
<No she didn't>
<Marion Zimmer Bradley had Cassandra of Troy marry a transvestite>
>
>O-KAY. Now he'll wear her underwear instead of the other way around?
It reminded me of Lord Snowden and Princess Margaret, who apparently
did the cross dressing thing together on occasion.
>
>> <Tak doesn't have the resources to power minions>
>
>this thing would be the Death Star. She'd only need one (or maybe 2-3
>so they can do shifts, and she'd only really have to spend more energy
>if one actually got killed, a task so difficult nobody except a suicidal
>Galahad or a megalomaniac archmage would try (and almost certainly fail)
>
>> <What do mean you don't remember David Hinckley?>
>>
>> I actually don't remember the event clearly, so I think I was younger
>> than 15. The Eddie Murphy parody is hilarious.
>
>say what? He's got to be 40 by now. I just remember hearing that the
>WTC bombers tried to get back their deposit on the van.
I'm not saying your way off, but I was a pretty advanced student at
15, so I think I would have remembered it better.
>
<Gilbert can handle falling five times his length>
>
>true. Sean was recently seen running up a 'packmates' leg, nearly
>getting used as a dart, and then once she'd realised he had too firm a
>grip, tackling all those spots a dire wolf can't scratch.
Sounds like a sure way to get Lyme disease.
> We've also established that the 'war of rage' included Ratkin being used
> as Garou tampons
Nice to know that Sean is flushable and biodegradable.
>
>> >so I take it your mother also had a sister 18 years younger?
>>
>> It's my first cousin's son.
>
>bloody humans and generational hierarchies...
Beats the old way, where geneology was maintained having the last
name be the amalgamation of the names of all other persons in the
direct line.
>
<Sean's got all the answers>
>>
>> But I bet Sean doesn't know where Carmen SanDiego is.
>
>how do you think he got in with the CIA?
He joined George Bush Jr at the White House Thanksgiving parties
when George Sr was president.
>
><getting carded at Pearly Gates>
>> That's the equivalent of going to hell.
>
>'you're too young to be dead'
> Satan's response : "Old enough to walk ...."
>
>> >> Lassard from Police Academy has retired to the Blue Oyster Club.
>> Lassard's wife minds the florist shop for Hightower.
>
>in addition to being a tall stereotype he's a Tandar?
Could be, although I didn't intend it that way. It seems your
subconscious granny obsession is coming to the fore again.
>
>> <Pikachu is too a rat>
>> The solicitors should hit up Hasbro first. They have more money.
>
>yeah, but Hasbro didn't say Pikachu was a rat and Sean was carrying
>around a contagious disease...
Pikachu is too a rodent, per their literature. And all it takes is a blood
test to blow away Sean's case.
>
><London Bridge in Arizona>
>> >what a @#$@$%#$ #%^$%^& of a &**&(&& &&(^&&%%^&*^
>
>he can have the bloody thing. What possible use would he have for it?
Nouveau riche ostentation is all I can think of.
>
>> <Victoria's Secret as the better lure>
>> You're such a boy scout.
>
>more like a hunter
Carrying packages? It sounds like you're working on a parcel toting
merit badge.
>
><all Canadians are perverts>
>> >he actually said "Dezra was porked by a centaur"?
>> No, he explained that Dez was meant to be a hellion. Caramon was
>> certain Dez had ridden the range though.
>
>der. She's more like the female version of Chef.
That'd have to be Laura. She's the one who mans the kitchen at the
Inn. Laura's just a better actress than Dez.
>Betcha she secretly seduced Sturm when she was eight.
Although I don't put necrophilia past her, she may have jousted a
time or two with Gunthar, or Riverwind when Goldmoon wasn't looking.
>
>> >> >> <Rohan reincarnates as Jar Jar>
> > >> Jar Jar McCloud? That's even worse.
<Jar Jar goes out in a blaze of ignominy>
>> <It was a love match in the beginning>
>
>War of the Roses. Cool. What's wrong with a Soth Moment?
Depending on which Soth Moment you mean: Henry had an illegitimate
son, but a kid born while Catherine was still the acknowledged wife
would give the French and Scots legal rights to the English throne.
And Hank couldn't kill her, as in the other Soth moment, because it
would give Spain an excuse to invade in retribution.
>
>> <Queen Elizabeth makes Kit look like the virgin warlord>
>for brevity, anybody in Europe male or female she didn't shag?
The Spanish ambassador, as he wanted to kill her.
>Incidentally, have you seen Killing Time?
No. And I should because....?
>
><divine loophole>
>> >isn't it a sin to withhold conjugal rights?
>>
>> Not if the husband considers it a sacrifice for God.
>
>did he know about this before he bought her?
I would guess not, since the determination that the Queen was barren
must have been arrived at after several attempts to have children
>
>> <How many gold stars?>
>> >you've got the rulebook
>>
>> Lost track. Oh well, it's time to start from scratch...
>
>let's say I've got three
Let's then. The award levels begin with 5, if I remember correctly.
>
<Rohan doesn't scrutinize the laundry>
>
>I just chuck 'em in the machine and occasionally hang 'em out
Occasionally? That's a rather soggy definition of wash and wear.
<Explanation of "going through the gym bag">
>> <There's enough of Rohan to satisfy 100 Rentonites>
>> >
>> >shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit
>>
>> Eating fiber may help.
>
>not in that sense, more like being rubbed into smelly Americans
I wonder how they feel about you oozing into their pores?
>
>> <Bunsen's on his way to Rome>
>
>I agree: the Vatican is actually Neraka
The Swiss Guards there don't impress me as KoT types.
>
>> Spike Corleone, the Don of Melbourne.
>
>he's one of *those* eunuchs
He'd be great as the subject of Marion Zimmer Bradley's next book.
<
<I've just gotten used to Rohan's thought patterns>
>you ain't seen NOTHING
No, but I have read quite a bit over the past two months.
<The "Sturm had a secret crush on Kit" theory>
>> True. And given Sturm's moroseness, it would have seem more in
>> character for him to nurture his love in silence and get pleasure from
>> agonizing over how noble he's being.
>
>while wearing chainmail mitts? Eww that'd hurt.
Not the picture that I had in mind when I wrote that -- but Sturm would
justify the extra pain as punishment for even thinking about betraying
Tanis.
>
<what the heck is the term for killing your adult children?>
>
>> <Time Travelling to Rome to corner designer drug market>
>>
>> >I kinda forgot where I left it. Don't think they'll notice a VW in
>> >Roman ruins do you?
>>
>> VW? What ever happened to the Delorean?
>
>that's why I haven't done crack in two thousand years
Crack? That explains the High Clerist's Tower is a snowblower theory.
>
>> >> ><everybody at TSR faces the press, Rabe survives>
>> <Dhamon is DL's answer to Drizzt>
>> He'll only return from the dead later.
>
>I'm working on a 'sniper cannon.' I figure physical destruction of his
>body with White Phosphorus is a good start, in a dead magic zone.
There's probably a gnome out there who's invented a cloning machine,
and all it would take is a lock of Dhamon's hair.
>
>> >> >> >> <Cleaning the .38 in the bathroom>
>> >I'm not actually planning to remove clothes or turn on taps
>>
>> That's good. I'm saving my tub for a bare-ass naked Dalamar.
>
>I didn't necessarily want to know that.
Just explaining why you can't go in there at certain times.
>Dalamar can help you clean up.
It's already squeaky clean in anticipation of his visit.
>
<Invented angst is fraudulent>
>
>I don't have to invent it
You certainly do feel it. But you just don't seem to be under the same harsh
constraints that created Raistlin Majere.
>
<Lawyers make mince meat out of "false saints">
>>
>> Depends on how much those saints have in the collection plate.
>
>I guess it's the old-fashioned way then
If OJ can get off the hook for murder, saints with deep pockets are safe.
>
>> >cool. If we get together to bomb something in America neither will be
>> >tempted to cop a plea
>>
>> All the interesting causes are passe now.
>
>equal rights for women, racism... the 60s issues are still there
The nonviolent protests accomplished much more than the radicalism
of the 1960s.
>
>> ><antigovernment within reason>
>
>probably only Koresh and maybe a few others were what the ATF had a
>problem with. If you're taking on a monolith you hack off chunks.
If you don't get the middle head of the hydra, it just regenerates. Same
thing goes for killing the grunts.
>
><cop-killing: death sentence>
>> Sounds more like an out of control police force than the government.
>> In NYC the courts provide a 50-50 chance to get a cop convicted.
>
>which only encourages the Sally Field school of law enforcement...
Advent of video cameras makes that more difficult.
>
>> ><Cathy the Slut>
<How could Henry not know Cathy wasn't a virgin?>
>that's assuming he could ever get it up. I'm thinking First Knight.
>Richard Gere as Lancelot? How disgusting.
That about sums it up. But he must have had bouts of potency or
else she wouldn't be nervy enough to pass off someone else's kid
as his.
>
>assuming she was normally fertile, and that they had a basic
>understanding of obstetrics or whatever it is, wouldn't she have known
>to just hide out somewhere for a month? Long sea voyage sounds fine.
Cathy would probably be surrounded by guards and ladies in waiting on
a ship. At least at the castle, there were lots of strategic secret passages.
She began the affair for all the old fashioned reasons, so she avoided
getting pregnant at first. It was when the court caught on to her that she
tried to conceive, as insurance against Henry killing her.
>
>> >> <The Bunsen anaerobic workout>
>> But I thought the principal reason to walk a pup was to have the dog
>> poop as far away from home as possible.
>
>no. Don't you have laws? He likes the sights and smells (and I need
>the exercise)
Yes. And the curb is legal. Besides, what fun can Bunsen have if he
can't even water a fire hydrant?
>
>> >> I think we're agreeing in a roundabout way.
>> >
>> >dammit. But you're with The Man
>>
>> And enjoying every minute of it.
>
>Bunsen left a locker key under the doormat. You'll find a briefcase in
>the locker. Take it to work. Left dial is the number of minutes on the
>timer. Right dial to 666 arms it. Don't try to open it.
Thanks. This will come in handy when I'm negotiating my raise.
>
>> ><Puppy propulsion.>
>> >did I mention I've got sonar and a CO2-powered poisontip speargun?
>>
>> But your outboard is a Labrador Retriever. It evens out.
>
>I'm humoring Bunsen before I pull out the compact outboard
The pup'll be on my side then.
>
<Crysania would help Gunthar enact cultural change, not
rewrite the Measure>
>
>still, she'd only leave the really detailed things unscrutinised
IMHO, the Measure itself is too detailed for her.
>
>> ><what would Rudy do?>
>> Her secret service detail complicates things.
>
>where there's a will there's a way. Okay, take Monica's gun and shoot
>Hillary, should be a capital offence.
Monica probably still has some secrets she can use against Bill to
avoid jail.
>
<Rohan thinks that was me>
>but you don't have a head anymore
Yes I do. I think you've had this glasses prescription too long.
>
<Elves react to Solamnia the way US reacts to the Gulf>
>
>the Measure is a world-affecting issue. The 'first' Gulf War was
>between the alternating oases of stability that the west would rather
>just forget about. Nobody was threatened, and war's profitable if it's
>not around your financial interests.
The same logic applies for why the elves wouldn't hold a saber to Gunthar's
head and force him to change the Measure. Not worth the investment,
since Solamnia can still provide troops in a pinch.
>
><kinslayer war>
>> But the issue directly impacted the royal house. Alhana's not leaving
>> Porthios over the Measure.
>
>there *will* be questions asked in the Senate about the durability of
>the Solamnic alliance...
And Porthios says, "I'll take that under advisement" and moves on to an
assessment of how the cleansing of Silvanesti is going.
>
>Sturm was obviously going ad hoc. The Measure should just be tossed,
>but then again 'honour' is pretty nebulous and they obviously need at
>least a constitution. It's like Cadderly of Oz and his church.
I've always thought of the "do unto others" rule as the Oath while the
Measure was more like the 10 commandments -- a list of do's and don'ts."
Understanding and living the Oath as it was meant to be would make the
Measure just explanatory text.
<The Measure is a throwback to the bad old days>
>
>> Not necessarily, because when Sturm thinks about all the reasons why
>> he didn't stick around to become a knight, the examples he cites are
>> mostly rooted in knights failing to living up to the Oath.
>
>all those extraneous rules and conventions arose after they stopped
>paying attention to the Oath.
It wasn't rules violations, as much as laxity. The knights were not going
out to help the people, which is not a violation of the Measure, but is
a conscious choice to ignore the Oath.
>
>> ><High Warrior and that's it>
>> >hard to change centuries of bad press and it's obvious inadequacies
>> Winning the WotL did it and losing to the KoT reversed it. It is
>> "what have you done for me lately" on a large scale.
>
>superficial politics only work in the public sphere. In the Thalas-
>Enthia steam baths, reality counts.
Unless Gunthar bathes with the elven Senate on a regular basis,
Solamnic-Elven relations are in a public sphere.
>
>> <Laurana traveled more in elven lands than Tanis>
>we didn't find out, could've been that Solostaran kept up 'I have no
>daughter' but Porthios just ignored him. He was after all functional
>head of the elves during the war iirc. Sure she would've helped him,
>but she's one of the few people with personal access to most of the
>crowned heads of Ansalon, and her true calling is obvious.
Per DoSF and the Puppet King, Laurana was at least in on the Treaty
of the Three Nations. In any event, I can see the Laurana working the
elven lands because being a full elf, she has more an impact than
Tanis could ever hope to have. Similary, Tanis does the humanity beat
because he's got a better chance of getting his point across.
>
>> >> >> ><Lozza in obscurity?>
>> >> ><homebody or workaholic?>
>> ><Gil the papoose, elven addiction>
>
>> >of course, Time of the Twins is what's actually relevant...
>> >we just can't rely on DoSF
>> I don't have my copy handy, but doesn't Time of the Twins also bring up the
>> fact that Laurana was in Silvanesti?
>
>that might have been transitory as I pointed out before. DoSF is
>totally full of shit.
If it was transitory, as you pointed out, why did Tanis refer to it as catching
her on her day off?
>
>> >> ><mellow at 21?>
<Avoids answering the same question>
<Shalafi is off Rohan's list>
>Secondly, he was extremely rude and personally insulting.
I remember the weasal from down under remark, but I don't
he was only on the receiving end from you a few times. Did you
guys carry it over into email?.
>Thirdly, I know his real name :)
Prodigy extends to Australia?
>
>> >Wanna go see American Pie?
>>
>> I don't condone the sexual exploitation of baked goods.
>
<People condone all sorts of stereotypes in movies>
At least Rambo did not go porno with a pie.
>
>> >> <Every single new book has some canon and continuity issues>
>> <A good story can make up for continuity issues>
>
>only partially. Why can't they put in the effort to make it consistent?
That's the job of whoever owns the characters and the settings, in
this case WotC.
<Dumbing down DL may cut down the adult fan base>
Dez from an adult content standpoint is pretty daring for DL. But it may
be that DL is slowly being re-oriented to the audience that buys Pokemon
cards -- preteen boys.
>
>> But the writers are not a team, they're independent contractors. Nancy
>>Berberick wasn't a consultant on Crysania's cameo in the Rose and the
>>Skull.
>
>then TSR is stupid. I don't expect Anne to be a trained secretary, but
>I'm sure TSR has plenty. The mistakes in R&S are an obvious example of
>where failure to maintain a database hits home. And they should talk.
>Hell, when I was writing something once I asked a classmate what a girl
>we both knew would say on discovering a marijuana crop.
But your livelihood was not impacted by the time it takes to do research.
If the database did exist in a usable form, then the writers would have a
big chunk of the blame. But when you're only making cents off the book
cover, there is a tradeup between extensive research and getting a book
out to press.
>
><kender tale is a reader label>
>> <Rohan's latest game has been going on over a year>
<I can never maintain Rohan's gaming schedule given my other
committments>
><country cops find six nukes>
>> Same nukes come in handy if you have to end the game real quick.
>
<Nukes to be used as cop show parody in rpg>
>
>> >got a grenade launcher?
>>
>> I liked RotBS. Your future stepdad may be interested, though.
>
>why should I read something I know to be a name recognition cash-in?
So you two would have something to talk about as you do a stepson
stepdad update of the FAQ.
>
<Dr Moreau was a pervert>
>> But Simon takes care of Bunsen's playtime.
>
>he's got a lot to go around
Spike would miss his flying lessons if Simon were to go away.
>
>> ><she hates dropping in unexpectedly>
><He has the reflexes of a greased ferret on speed>
>> Sounds more like Speedy Gonzalez to me. And even Sylvester caught
>> Speedy once.
>
>but Speedy isn't an anarchist with a Pain Dagger. Sean has more than
>one trick up his sleeve.
Speedy has more than one way to skin a rat beneath his sombrero.
>
><Desperado - *the* munchkin flick>
>> Some men can carry munchkin and make it work.
>
>bullshit heroics and stunts just bore me. Sword taking aimed single
>shots and Sean actually being superhuman is about my limit. I have
>difficulty watching Bond movies.
Bond is boring -- you've seen one movie you've seen them all. And
Pierce Brosnan just does not have Antonio Banderas' intensity.
>
><Sword, voluntarily unemployed>
>> He'll have a hard time getting a new job without references from his old
>one.
>
>he got his current job by helping detectives bust the dealers he decided
>to let live. We're not sure, but probably he let an innocent witness
>live and got busted by one of the cops he was helping.
Sword is cooling it in jail? I'll just send that briefcase you gave me down
to the precinct then.
>
>> >> >> >> <Barbecued Were-Rat>
>> Every Samson has his Delilah.
>
>you're nearly twice Sean's age. And he'd certainly realise you were
>going for a knife...
Pedophilia is not my thing. I meant that in the "all it took is a good haircut
to cut him down to size" kind of way. And Sean won't know what hit him
after I spike his hamster kibble.
>
><full and curvy tail>
>> Sorry. It goes everywhere I do. I'm very attached to it.
>
>you don't have a say in the matter
Getting your hand on the matter is easier said than done.
>
>> ><getoutofmymind!>
><she's got Amex stock>
>> >bear in mind I've also got cards belonging to several people missing,
>> >whereabouts unknown. That's quite a bit of credit.
>>
>> Your signature's probably a dead giveaway.
>
>it's surprisingly easy to do other peoples' signatures
The company does get wise to a lot of signatures that form their "T"s in
identical ways.
>
>> Not really. Baba's big among Cubans and to a lesser extent Dominicans,
>> not Puerto Ricans. It was more the deeprooted Catholicism talking there
>> than anything else.
>
>so they didn't write angry letters?
Nope. It worked pretty much like Bill's strategy for gays in the military --
Don't Ask, Don't Tell. After all, aside from the Babaloo thing, Desi was a
breakthrough artist for the Latino community.
>
>> ><Brady Bunch met after the ex-hubby raped both sets of kids, Mansoned
>> >the first Mrs Brady and got executed>>
<The Brady girls chose to become Bradys>
>
>those of them that weren't insane?
There's no such thing as a sane Brady.
>
>> >> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
>> >can't see you swatting planes
>>
>> That's what Kong's for.
>
>but maybe having seen both films he's on a learning curve?
I'll just use the same training tactics on him that I do on my male
worshippers.
>
>> >Dad'd be at the same table, and also an aunty who talks even more and
>> >spent some time in Sweden.
>>
>> Trondheim doesn't mean anything to your dad or your aunt, I'd wager.
>
>never stopped them before
Good. Then your mom and I can talk freely with no one being the wiser.
>
>> >> >considering what I've found, you may benefit from this discovery
>> >> Somehow, I don't think so.
>> >you're either clinically dead or bluffing
>> ><cuddle>
>> Do you and Bunsen want to be alone now?
>
>you thought I was cuddling Bunsen? You *are* clinically dead.
I wasn't too sure since this particular conversation was centered
around a little present I'd sent via Bunsen. Aren't you the frisky
Koala?
This means the gift that Bunsen swallowed while he was here in
the States is still intact and ready to go off on countdown.
>
><Taxi Driver date>
>> Irrationally adopting my politics negates the porno.
>
>I guess I'll just have to cleanse you
Aren't you becoming a bar of soap upon death, not before?
>
>> >what we really need to see is Bupu going around carving up all her
>> >rivals for Raistlin's love.
>>
>> That would certainly explain why Crysania didn't busy herself with the
>> KoS for 30 odd years.
>
>gotta hand it to her for dodging the deadliest assassin ever that long.
Maybe Bupu got the last laugh on Par-Salian as well. The score with
him is personal after what he put her through in Legends.
>
>> >> ><she thinks she's got inside info on my defences>
>> >> >> It's been working so far.
>> >> >ever heard of disinformation?
>> >> I think you're getting some now.
>> >you think that. But then I'm looking over your shoulder.
>> You are looking over somebody's shoulder, I'm sure.
>
>piss off Simon
Wish him a Happy Birthday for me.
>
>> >it's still in his room and would you believe it two months later there's
>> >still helium in the body?
>>
>> You're going to need a cleric to turn undead Mickey.
>
>Drizzt Mickey. Can't be killed.
Wulfgar's temper did make him seem rather like Donald Duck at times.
>
<The Hunger>
>> The banquet is by invitation only, and you didn't rsvp.
>
>I can always gatecrash
The best probably won't be saved for last though.
>
>> >><List of assorted gifts>
>> >>
>> ><she's got a cartouche worn on a bracelet>
>> ><mine's bigger than hers>
>
>I think practical. Brass knucks. Formal wear includes a dreadnought
>pendant
Lots of rings together make effective yet fashionable brass knuckles.
>
>> >>>sure I'd respect you
>> >>What a gentleman.
>> >I try. And gentlemen never tell.
>
>> And gentlemen shouldn't ask either.
>
>how the hell else do we get what we want?
You wait for the signal.
>
>> >>><drunkosaur incident>
>> ><her first swig of Scotch>
>> ><applause>
>> This was a different boss, and he tended to err on overprotectiveness.
>
>did you report him or just deal with it the old-fashioned way?
He was fond of me, but he wasn't stupid. There was general concern
about my colleagues getting rowdy, as I was the only teetotaller in the
bunch, and the youngest to boot.
>
>> >>I think that was supposed to be a lesson on corporate boozing.
>>
>> >as in, don't?
>>
>> as in, how. I didn't pass, so thank God I learned how to be indispensable.
>
>by taking the hate the boss deserves?
My current boss is pretty good about making clear that I am the messenger
(and enforcer when needed). It doesn't help her powerbase much if I am
perceived to be making the kinds of decisions that engender hate. Those
roll up, not down.
>
>>>without alcohol would we have Windows 95 and NSAKEY?
>
>>You'd have Windows 95 at least. The Microsoft folks don't strike
>>me as the Scotch swiggers that our Finance troops can be.
>
>you let a secret like NSAKEY come to light and it's more than Scotch
Then they main-lined instead of boozed.
>
>>>Man, I feel like a woman.
>
>>Sure you physically can't have a husband?
>
>perhaps tenses are a problem here...
No. I'm just being a pest.
>
>and finally I finish this bloody thing. I nearly strangled my left
>wrist with a rifle sling today, and last night I was just too busy to
>finish this.
Poor baby. My left wrist is aching in sympathy and I just kissed it to
make it better.
>The test sucked but I made it.
Congrats. One thing I don't miss from my school days are tests.
<La Trobe food review>
Sandwiches may not be a bad idea after all.
>Time to find out what Lupin III does next. Or I might go and walk
>Fenris aka Bunsen.
Fenris? That'd make Bunsen quite the fluffy Labrador.
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
>I'd object to a future book using that possible ending as truth. "What
>if" is ok provided it is clearly so. Otherwise nothing should deviate.
A bunch of inconclusive adventure seeds should not keep a good story
from being written. The modules into the "what if" category here.
>
><novels Krynnish historical fiction, game line encyclopedia>
>that's a crappy approach that takes away from the reality of the
>characters
It's the novels that keep DL afloat, which means that there is a core fan
base out there that does not give a hoot about the modules, so why give
them biblical significance?
>
>nothing should be written that isn't true. Nothing. There is another
>shore- style is all that should be permitted.
All it takes is a disclaimer that says the game line is a setting based
on the DL novels, and continuity becomes moot.
>
<Time-traveling virus bugs Balder's Gate>
Smash the computer and the virus is history.
>
<Where is the Krynnish cosmology defined?>
>
>spelljammer, which defined astronomy
It's still up for debate, since spelljammer in DL is not universally accepted.
>
<Turning the dentist into Vincent Van Gogh>
That would give him too much incentive to remove just my remaining
wisdom teeth.
><Silmarillion et al explains supercharacters>
>I was thinking of the 'superman' stereotype - an invulnerable god who
>just wants to do good things, literally from another planet.
They all have an achilles' heel -- the One Ring.
>
<Princess Margaret exchanged garments with Lord Snowden>
>
>too much information. She's alive and seventy
That's only the g-rated stuff.
>
<Describe the Eddie Murphy-David Hinkley parody>
Eddie Murphy had his "Buckwheat" character shot by Alfalfa.
>
<Using a rat as a backscratcher spreads Lyme Disease>
Even if he is immune, Sean's a carrier. The Center for Disease Control
will take care of him.
<Sean would get pissed if flushed down the toilet>
Burial at sea is an honorable way to do.
<Last names were used as genealogical lists>
Must have frustrated the hell out of census takers.
>
<Sean's too young to have been in Pres. Bush's entourage>
Then he got acquainted with the CIA when Socks cornered him
in Chelsea's bedroom.
>
<Rohan's geriatric obsession gets the better of him>
>
>no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
<Sean's blood test says it all but he's stubborn>
I can always get it during the whisker bonfire.
<Man with bad taste buys London Bridge>
Whether it's pink flamingos or bridges, that lawn will be an eyesore.
>
><boy scout or hunter?>
>I both work on my badge and gain access to a woman's home
Mail order makes that rather difficult to accomplish.
>
<Dez vs Laura: Singoff to determine Chef's successor>
Laura will win. She can cook and she's better at hiding the hijinks.
>
<Who did Dez seduce at 8: Riverwind or Gunthar?>
Gunthar came to Solace to check out the LoS, and it went downhill
from there. That's why she rebels against authority.
<Henry VIII could have bumped off his first wife "accidentally">
Cathy's dad, King Ferdinand, wanted any reason to invade. If he was
really worried about Cathy, d'you think he would've left her in England?
>
<Queen Liz axes the Spanish Ambassador in a brothel using the
Killing Time method>
>
Like Henry, Liz didn't like to get her hands dirty and left that to minions.
>
<The Queen's considered barren, even if the King is the one who's sterile>
The king's law extended to biology.
<Rohan thinks he can get two stars quickly ... hehehe>
>
<Four people do Tolstrup laundry, but it's hung up occasionally>
>
<What does Rohan oozing into Rentonite pores have to do with cereal
and overflowing toilet bowls?>
>
<The Vatican can't be Neraka because it's protected by guards who
look like kender>
But you'll clear up the above two points, of course.
>
<Spike: A Cat's Life, as told to MZ Bradley>
Spike reveals that he dresses in dog fur to feel close to Lassie.
>
><Sturm beating off over nobility>
>> >while wearing chainmail mitts? Eww that'd hurt.
>
>Mortification... great song title
Companion piece to She Bop by Cyndi Lauper.
>
<The VW's parked by the High Clerist's Tower>
Kit found it, and I heard it was totalled during the attack on Palanthas.
>
>> >> <Dhamon is DL's answer to Drizzt>
<Gnome cloning machine keeps Dhamon going and going...>
>oi, Raistlin!
The gnomes will take care of Raist with a strategically aimed cow.
>
<Dalamar, the ultimate bath toy>
>
><scuttles away screaming>
Why? Legends clearly states that Dalamar was impeccably groomed. This
just proves it.
>
<Dalamar will have to clean up the bathroom>
No one will mess it up. The disembodied eyes floating above the door
will see to that.
>
>> <Invented angst is fraudulent>
>
>I just notice other things sucking
It's a glass is half empty vs a glass is half full kind of thing.
>
>> <Lawyers make mince meat out of "false saints">
>> >I guess it's the old-fashioned way then
>>
>> If OJ can get off the hook for murder, saints with deep pockets are safe.
>
>so you'd count yourself as 'white'
Never, no matter how many people insist that I'm Sicilian. The OJ example
refers to the fact that if an obviously guilty rich man can be gotten off the
hook, it's that much harder to smear a saint who can afford good counsel.
>
>> The nonviolent protests accomplished much more than the radicalism
>> of the 1960s.
>
>and I believe Sex Descrimination legislation is still held up
In the army, perhaps. But as women move up in government and
business, the laws will either be repealed or made inconsequential.
>
>> >> ><antigovernment within reason>
<Kill the leaders, not the followers>
>that would involve nuclear destruction of D.C. and several other cities
>and major installations. Easier to carve a pound of flesh.
Flesh is cheap -- $4.15 an hour -- and easily replaced.
>
<the Sally Field school of law enforcement>
Highly unlikely plot device. How many housewives are Mrs. Columbo?
>
>> <How could Henry not know Cathy wasn't a virgin?>
>hmm. Speak With Dead handy?
"Hey Cathy, how could you be so *stupid*?
>
><dirty month on a ship?>
><had to conceive because people knew>
>if everybody knows, all the more reason. Who cares about guards?
Those Catholics who wanted to put Mary on the throne would be
interested, for starters...
>
>> >> >> <The Bunsen anaerobic workout>
>> >no. Don't you have laws? He likes the sights and smells (and I need
>> >the exercise)
>>
>> Yes. And the curb is legal. Besides, what fun can Bunsen have if he
>> can't even water a fire hydrant?
>
>he can run around. NYC must stink
Nope. If it's on the sidewalk, you get a fine. It's what pooper scoopers
are for.
>
<Don't dial 000 on the briefcase>
>
>> >> ><Puppy propulsion.>
>> >I'm humoring Bunsen before I pull out the compact outboard
>>
>> The pup'll be on my side then.
>
>thank god for Smith & Wesson
Thank God for that shark.
>
>> <Crysania would help Gunthar enact cultural change, not
>> rewrite the Measure>
>> IMHO, the Measure itself is too detailed for her.
>
>how many lawyers can she hire?
After Raistlin, she would not be stupid enough to put her trust in another
bunch of evil characters.
>
<Monica and Hill dies, Rudy becomes senator.>
>can we sort out who's shooting who here?
You shoot and miss, I shoot and win.
>
<Elven/KoS relationship compared to Gulf War politics>
>
>but much more concern than who has the oil
If troops are the commodity that replaces oil, then the elves are not
worried, as the KoS can still back the elves up militarily when needed.
>
>> >there *will* be questions asked in the Senate about the durability of
>> >the Solamnic alliance...
>> And Porthios says, "I'll take that under advisement" and moves on to an
>> assessment of how the cleansing of Silvanesti is going.
>
>let's assume a few senators are interested enough...
But they weren't. Getting Porthios dethroned occupied their time.
>
<Oath as the Golden Rule, Measure as 10 Commandments>
>
>yeppers. So just ditch the Measure altogether.
Not all minds think alike. The Measure is needed to define rules for
consensus.
>
>> <The Measure is a throwback to the bad old days>
>> It wasn't rules violations, as much as laxity. The knights were not going
>> out to help the people, which is not a violation of the Measure, but is
>> a conscious choice to ignore the Oath.
>
>sounds like a pragmatic interpretation of the Oath. Think they'll
>attack anything evil in 5A?
Using a creative of the Oath, they'll try to eradicate the LoS. There were
obviously people who needed help, so it was a conscious violation of
what the Oath stood for.
>
<diplomacy is private>
Only when it involves treaties and trade agreements, not when one
sovereign power is meddling in the internal affairs of another.
>
<Laurana brokered the Treaty of the Three Nations>
Together with her brother, Alhana, and Tanis. And it doesn't invalidate
the premise that Laurana worked the elves while Tanis schmoozed the
humans.
>2nd Gen said they worked as a team. And they are uniquely connected.
See above.
>
<It's all Shalafi's fault, dammit!>
Whatever you say.
>
>> <People condone all sorts of stereotypes in movies>
>> At least Rambo did not go porno with a pie.
>
>gee, what a redeeming feature
Any man who upholds the virtue of baked goods is okay in my book.
>
>> >> <A good story can make up for continuity issues>
>> That's the job of whoever owns the characters and the settings, in
>> this case WotC.
>
><burns in effigy>
Want some marshmellows?
>
<DL may be re-oriented to Pokemon pre-teen fans>
>>
>diediediediediediediediediediediediediediedie
That'll take care of the next generation of DL fans.
>
<Research is TSR's job, so they should just build the database to improve
ongoing continuity issues.>
Asking for feedback, like Liz Baldwin did on the list, is a good first step.
>
<Stepson - Stepdad FAQ update>
>
><BOOM>
Fireworks in anticipation of Morten's arrival? How touching.
>
<Spike would miss his flying lessons if Simon were to go away.>
>
>even Mum's at least thought about it
She's worried about her baby leaving the nest.
>
>> ><He has the reflexes of a greased ferret on speed>
>> >but Speedy isn't an anarchist with a Pain Dagger. Sean has more than
>> >one trick up his sleeve.
>>
>> Speedy has more than one way to skin a rat beneath his sombrero.
>
>he's a one-trick bitch
But it's one hell of a trick.
>
<Bond is boring>
>
><BOOM>. Bond movies are totally unrealistic.
They'll only replace Pierce with Tom Cruise.
>
>> ><Sword, voluntarily unemployed>
>> Sword is cooling it in jail? I'll just send that briefcase you gave me
>down to the precinct then.
>his job is more hazardous than making rego plates.
I'll make sure he dials 000 on the briefcase then.
>
<Sean's not my type, I'm just feeding a growing boy>
>
>he's more into steak and mashed spuds. He can make a muesli bar last a
>long time.
I can almost guarantee that my gravy will be the last, er, the best thing he's
ever tasted.
>
>> ><full and curvy tail>
>> >you don't have a say in the matter
>>
>> Getting your hand on the matter is easier said than done.
>
>only when I sleep?
Not going there.
>
>> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
>> ><she's got Amex stock>
<Forgery enhanced credit lines>
The cards are automatically cancelled after 60 days.
>
<Desi Arnaz practiced Voodoo and used his real name>
The Arnaz family was very important in Cuba, so it would have been
a mistake not to.
>
<Rohan wisely chooses video over a Brady Bunch double feature>
>
>> >> >> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
>> >but maybe having seen both films he's on a learning curve?
>>
>> I'll just use the same training tactics on him that I do on my male
>> worshippers.
>
>what if you fail?
Word's not in my vocabulary.
>
>> >> Trondheim doesn't mean anything to your dad or your aunt, I'd wager.
>> >
>> >never stopped them before
>>
>> Good. Then your mom and I can talk freely with no one being the wiser.
>
>I'll be there as well, and I'm armed
Your Mom'll make you mind your manners.
>
>> >you thought I was cuddling Bunsen? You *are* clinically dead.
>>
>> I wasn't too sure since this particular conversation was centered
>> around a little present I'd sent via Bunsen. Aren't you the frisky
>> Koala?
>
>I don't drug up and sit in trees all day
Of course not, you have to come down to go to school and walk Bunsen.
>
>> This means the gift that Bunsen swallowed while he was here in
>> the States is still intact and ready to go off on countdown.
>
>who sets them, Nostradamus?
Strategic kibble.
>
>> ><Taxi Driver date>
>> >I guess I'll just have to cleanse you
>> Aren't you becoming a bar of soap upon death, not before?
>
>figuratively, with a S&W Combat Magnum.
Literally, you'll make a nice spray of confetti as the land mine goes off.
>
><Crysania stalked by Bupu>
>> >gotta hand it to her for dodging the deadliest assassin ever that long.
>>
>> Maybe Bupu got the last laugh on Par-Salian as well. The score with
>> him is personal after what he put her through in Legends.
>
>and LaDonna. Both disappeared. Spot the KoT.
Bupu is the one god Mina is referring to.
>
<Simon's Birthday just passed>
>> Wish him a Happy Birthday for me.
>
>23/10
Birthday wishes expire in under one week?
>
<Assassination attempt on Drizzt Mickey and Wulfgar Duck>
Never fear, Salvatore is near. They won't be gone long.
>
>> <The Hunger>
>> >I can always gatecrash
>>
>> The best probably won't be saved for last though.
>
>I feast at will
Yes, my will.
>
>> >I think practical. Brass knucks. Formal wear includes a dreadnought
>> >pendant
>>
>> Lots of rings together make effective yet fashionable brass knuckles.
>
>car keys or a Leatherman
Car keys are for gouging eyes, not hitting.
>
>> >> And gentlemen shouldn't ask either.
>> >
>> >how the hell else do we get what we want?
>>
>> You wait for the signal.
>
>what's the signal?!!!!!!!!
;-)
>
<Boss ordered staff to be gentlemen, or else>
>
>should've pulled a gun
No need. Fear of bad performance appraisals work wonders.
>
<Current boss inspires fear and likes it>
>
>ooh yeah. Death threats?
She's got a special talent for revenge. She's forced out a high powered
rival and several of her subordinates. Whoever makes that threat would
have to be prepared to carry it through.
>
>> >>>without alcohol would we have Windows 95 and NSAKEY?
>> >you let a secret like NSAKEY come to light and it's more than Scotch
>>
>> Then they main-lined instead of boozed.
>
>Pulp Fiction
They had a geek named Zed on the team?
>
>> >perhaps tenses are a problem here...
>>
>> No. I'm just being a pest.
>
>good. Say 'hi' to my .22.
Say 'bye' to Spike.
>
><ouchy sling>
>>Poor baby. My left wrist is aching in sympathy and I just kissed it to
>>make it better.
>
>mmm. Now, a bit to the southwest...
Bunsen's taking over from here.
>
>>>The test sucked but I made it.
>>Congrats. One thing I don't miss from my school days are tests.
>
>the subject assessment is a 30% test and a 70% open book exam
Those are easy, especially if you underline the right passages in the book.
>
><La Trobe food review>
>
>>Sandwiches may not be a bad idea after all.
>
>I can never get organised and we never have enough bread
Deli stop on the way to uni might be prudent.
>
>>>Time to find out what Lupin III does next. Or I might go and walk
>>>Fenris aka Bunsen.
>
>>Fenris? That'd make Bunsen quite the fluffy Labrador.
>
>apparently related, he's always trying to munch me
He says it beats eating a La Trobe burger.
kinthalas
>
> kinthalas wrote in message <37EA94DA...@geocities.com>...
> >afghanyat wrote:
> >Wow...kinda going after everybody there, eh?
> >Mercantilist? Feudalist?
>
I'm sure the queen would be more than happy to take any raw products you
may wish to send to her. If you're lucky, you might get something
back...
afghanyat
kinthalas wrote in message <37EF00BC...@geocities.com>...
Tolstrup
> >if" is ok provided it is clearly so. Otherwise nothing should deviate.
>
> A bunch of inconclusive adventure seeds should not keep a good story
> from being written. The modules into the "what if" category here.
Emperor of Ansalon is unacceptable
> ><novels Krynnish historical fiction, game line encyclopedia>
> >that's a crappy approach that takes away from the reality of the
> >characters
>
> It's the novels that keep DL afloat, which means that there is a core fan
> base out there that does not give a hoot about the modules, so why give
> them biblical significance?
something has to clarify the actual properties of the world, and game
material can be comprehensive. However, it must stay canonical.
> >nothing should be written that isn't true. Nothing. There is another
> >shore- style is all that should be permitted.
> All it takes is a disclaimer that says the game line is a setting based
> on the DL novels, and continuity becomes moot.
so we've still got inter-line and inter-author screwups
> <Time-traveling virus bugs Balder's Gate>
> Smash the computer and the virus is history.
let's just blow up the city
> <Where is the Krynnish cosmology defined?>
> >spelljammer, which defined astronomy
> It's still up for debate, since spelljammer in DL is not universally accepted.
in terms of business ethics and conventional morality it is wrong to
change facts
> <Turning the dentist into Vincent Van Gogh>
> That would give him too much incentive to remove just my remaining
> wisdom teeth.
get a friend to sit next to you with a gun
> ><Silmarillion et al explains supercharacters>
> >I was thinking of the 'superman' stereotype - an invulnerable god who
> >just wants to do good things, literally from another planet.
>
> They all have an achilles' heel -- the One Ring.
ever read The Phantom? A 400-year line of ubermensch who have 18 in all
stats and can all shoot guns out of hands with twin heavy pistols. And
they all drink milk and survive ridiculous odds.
> <Princess Margaret exchanged garments with Lord Snowden>
> >too much information. She's alive and seventy
> That's only the g-rated stuff.
I prefer not to hear about *attractive* celebs...
> <Describe the Eddie Murphy-David Hinkley parody>
> Eddie Murphy had his "Buckwheat" character shot by Alfalfa.
sounds like you had to be there
> <Using a rat as a backscratcher spreads Lyme Disease>
> Even if he is immune, Sean's a carrier. The Center for Disease Control
> will take care of him.
he's got buddies (who deliberately spread disease) who work there
> <Sean would get pissed if flushed down the toilet>
> Burial at sea is an honorable way to do.
he's a school drug dealer graduating to Cancer Man status
> <Last names were used as genealogical lists>
> Must have frustrated the hell out of census takers.
one job I'd shudder at
> <Sean's too young to have been in Pres. Bush's entourage>
> Then he got acquainted with the CIA when Socks cornered him
> in Chelsea's bedroom.
he hasn't been to California since he became a rat
> <Rohan's geriatric obsession gets the better of him>
> Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm old enough to make my own decisions
> <Sean's blood test says it all but he's stubborn>
>
> I can always get it during the whisker bonfire.
you're pretty confident
> <Man with bad taste buys London Bridge>
> Whether it's pink flamingos or bridges, that lawn will be an eyesore.
let's do the world a favour with some Semtex
> ><boy scout or hunter?>
>
> >I both work on my badge and gain access to a woman's home
> Mail order makes that rather difficult to accomplish.
wouldn't you prefer to have somebody carry your shopping?
> <Dez vs Laura: Singoff to determine Chef's successor>
> Laura will win. She can cook and she's better at hiding the hijinks.
dammit! Can I please at least delude myself that she's normal?
> <Who did Dez seduce at 8: Riverwind or Gunthar?>
> Gunthar came to Solace to check out the LoS, and it went downhill
> from there. That's why she rebels against authority.
Gunthar's probably a little too old for her...
> <Henry VIII could have bumped off his first wife "accidentally">
> Cathy's dad, King Ferdinand, wanted any reason to invade. If he was
> really worried about Cathy, d'you think he would've left her in England?
she was eloping with her lover to....Germany? Anyway, she got killed.
> <Queen Liz axes the Spanish Ambassador in a brothel using the
> Killing Time method>
> Like Henry, Liz didn't like to get her hands dirty and left that to minions.
plausible deniability
> <The Queen's considered barren, even if the King is the one who's sterile>
> The king's law extended to biology.
just ask Caligula
> <What does Rohan oozing into Rentonite pores have to do with cereal
> and overflowing toilet bowls?>
Death to America!!!!!!!!!!!
> <The Vatican can't be Neraka because it's protected by guards who
> look like kender>
you think a halberd is cute? Try getting charged by a formation of
those blokes. The Swiss have an extremely good army.
> But you'll clear up the above two points, of course.
I'll consider it
> <Spike: A Cat's Life, as told to MZ Bradley>
> Spike reveals that he dresses in dog fur to feel close to Lassie.
the wiring just isn't there
> >Mortification... great song title
>
> Companion piece to She Bop by Cyndi Lauper.
<rack>
> <The VW's parked by the High Clerist's Tower>
> Kit found it, and I heard it was totalled during the attack on Palanthas.
I thought a bunch of Tas clones pinched it
> <Gnome cloning machine keeps Dhamon going and going...>
> >oi, Raistlin!
>
> The gnomes will take care of Raist with a strategically aimed cow.
what?
> <Dalamar, the ultimate bath toy>
> ><scuttles away screaming>
> Why? Legends clearly states that Dalamar was impeccably groomed.
This
> just proves it.
he'd be considered a good catch until the female in question realised
the implications of all that blood
> <Dalamar will have to clean up the bathroom>
>
> No one will mess it up. The disembodied eyes floating above the door
> will see to that.
I've already taken the .38 in.
> >> <Invented angst is fraudulent>
> >I just notice other things sucking
> It's a glass is half empty vs a glass is half full kind of thing.
would you believe I'm sensitive?
> >> If OJ can get off the hook for murder, saints with deep pockets are safe.
> >
> >so you'd count yourself as 'white'
>
> Never, no matter how many people insist that I'm Sicilian. The OJ example
> refers to the fact that if an obviously guilty rich man can be gotten off the
> hook, it's that much harder to smear a saint who can afford good counsel.
cross-examination is fun
> >and I believe Sex Descrimination legislation is still held up
>
> In the army, perhaps. But as women move up in government and
> business, the laws will either be repealed or made inconsequential.
in ID4 they were desperate enough for pilots to give keys to that
whacko. However, the Prez explicitly stated that none of the hundreds
of (better or fully) qualified women known to exist were in the air.
Mum didn't pick up on it although I did. American males saving the
world, again.
> >> >> ><antigovernment within reason>
> <Kill the leaders, not the followers>
> >that would involve nuclear destruction of D.C. and several other
cities
> >and major installations. Easier to carve a pound of flesh.
> Flesh is cheap -- $4.15 an hour -- and easily replaced.
I wonder how many applicants ATF got after Oklahoma?
> <the Sally Field school of law enforcement>
>
> Highly unlikely plot device. How many housewives are Mrs. Columbo?
she knew he'd raped/killed her daughter. He got off on a legal
technicality and resumed his spree. Dirty Harriett.
> >> <How could Henry not know Cathy wasn't a virgin?>
> >hmm. Speak With Dead handy?
> "Hey Cathy, how could you be so *stupid*?
"1, 2, what come next?"
> ><dirty month on a ship?>
> ><had to conceive because people knew>
> >if everybody knows, all the more reason. Who cares about guards?
>
> Those Catholics who wanted to put Mary on the throne would be
> interested, for starters...
burn the bitches
> >> >> >> <The Bunsen anaerobic workout>
> >he can run around. NYC must stink
>
> Nope. If it's on the sidewalk, you get a fine. It's what pooper scoopers
> are for.
we bag it up. Well, Dad does.
> >> The pup'll be on my side then.
> >
> >thank god for Smith & Wesson
>
> Thank God for that shark.
....and for the .50 sniper rifle.
> >> <Crysania would help Gunthar enact cultural change, not
> >> rewrite the Measure>
> >how many lawyers can she hire?
>
> After Raistlin, she would not be stupid enough to put her trust in another
> bunch of evil characters.
gee, thanks. I'm qualified as a paralegal.
> <Monica and Hill dies, Rudy becomes senator.>
> >can we sort out who's shooting who here?
> You shoot and miss, I shoot and win.
sounds inegalitarian
> <Elven/KoS relationship compared to Gulf War politics>
> >but much more concern than who has the oil
> If troops are the commodity that replaces oil, then the elves are not
> worried, as the KoS can still back the elves up militarily when needed.
but will they get the oil in future?
> >let's assume a few senators are interested enough...
>
> But they weren't. Getting Porthios dethroned occupied their time.
one faction who took thirty years
> <Oath as the Golden Rule, Measure as 10 Commandments>
> >yeppers. So just ditch the Measure altogether.
> Not all minds think alike. The Measure is needed to define rules for
> consensus.
the canonical bits are
> >> <The Measure is a throwback to the bad old days>
> >sounds like a pragmatic interpretation of the Oath. Think they'll
> >attack anything evil in 5A?
> Using a creative of the Oath, they'll try to eradicate the LoS. There were
> obviously people who needed help, so it was a conscious violation of
> what the Oath stood for.
my vision is that the LoS are superficially different. Would *they*
offer Valian a job?
> <diplomacy is private>
> Only when it involves treaties and trade agreements, not when one
> sovereign power is meddling in the internal affairs of another.
if you want something done, will you apply public embarassment?
> <Laurana brokered the Treaty of the Three Nations>
> Together with her brother, Alhana, and Tanis. And it doesn't invalidate
> the premise that Laurana worked the elves while Tanis schmoozed the
> humans.
bloody 2nd Gen.
> >2nd Gen said they worked as a team. And they are uniquely connected.
>
> See above.
see above
> <It's all Shalafi's fault, dammit!>
>
> Whatever you say.
you'll find a length of tarred rope. Do your duty.
> >> <People condone all sorts of stereotypes in movies>
> >> At least Rambo did not go porno with a pie.
> >
> >gee, what a redeeming feature
>
> Any man who upholds the virtue of baked goods is okay in my book.
interesting priorities. Position on status of pie-rape should be a
secondary consideration to say genocide.
> >> >> <A good story can make up for continuity issues>
> ><burns in effigy>
>
> Want some marshmellows?
trying to be healthy. Got some English Muffins
> <DL may be re-oriented to Pokemon pre-teen fans>
> >diediediediediediediediediediediediediediedie
>
> That'll take care of the next generation of DL fans.
lock and load
> <Research is TSR's job, so they should just build the database to improve
> ongoing continuity issues.>
> Asking for feedback, like Liz Baldwin did on the list, is a good first step.
....too little, too late.
> ><BOOM>
>
> Fireworks in anticipation of Morten's arrival? How touching.
artillery
> <Spike would miss his flying lessons if Simon were to go away.>
> >even Mum's at least thought about it
>
> She's worried about her baby leaving the nest.
that's scary
> >> ><He has the reflexes of a greased ferret on speed>
> >> Speedy has more than one way to skin a rat beneath his sombrero.
> >
> >he's a one-trick bitch
>
> But it's one hell of a trick.
an anti-missile gatling system is faster
> <Bond is boring>
> ><BOOM>. Bond movies are totally unrealistic.
> They'll only replace Pierce with Tom Cruise.
where's my .303?
> >> ><Sword, voluntarily unemployed>
> >his job is more hazardous than making rego plates.
>
> I'll make sure he dials 000 on the briefcase then.
he hates bombs. Way too random.
> <Sean's not my type, I'm just feeding a growing boy>
> >
> >he's more into steak and mashed spuds. He can make a muesli bar last a
> >long time.
>
> I can almost guarantee that my gravy will be the last, er, the best thing he's
> ever tasted.
poison again?
> >> ><full and curvy tail>
> >> Getting your hand on the matter is easier said than done.
> >
> >only when I sleep?
>
> Not going there.
and you're talking about my mother in a Tandar situation?
> >> >> ><getoutofmymind!>
> >> ><she's got Amex stock>
> <Forgery enhanced credit lines>
>
> The cards are automatically cancelled after 60 days.
I've used 'em up in two months anyway
> <Desi Arnaz practiced Voodoo and used his real name>
> The Arnaz family was very important in Cuba, so it would have been
> a mistake not to.
breakthrough huh?
> >> >> >> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
> >> I'll just use the same training tactics on him that I do on my male
> >> worshippers.
> >
> >what if you fail?
>
> Word's not in my vocabulary.
good point. You'll be dead.
> >I'll be there as well, and I'm armed
>
> Your Mom'll make you mind your manners.
mother, please shut up
> >I don't drug up and sit in trees all day
>
> Of course not, you have to come down to go to school and walk Bunsen.
drugs are bad ummkay
> >> This means the gift that Bunsen swallowed while he was here in
> >> the States is still intact and ready to go off on countdown.
> >
> >who sets them, Nostradamus?
>
> Strategic kibble.
WHAT?
> >> ><Taxi Driver date>
> >> >I guess I'll just have to cleanse you
> >> Aren't you becoming a bar of soap upon death, not before?
> >
> >figuratively, with a S&W Combat Magnum.
>
> Literally, you'll make a nice spray of confetti as the land mine goes off.
you're a sprinter now?
> ><Crysania stalked by Bupu>
> >> Maybe Bupu got the last laugh on Par-Salian as well. The score with
> >> him is personal after what he put her through in Legends.
> >
> >and LaDonna. Both disappeared. Spot the KoT.
>
> Bupu is the one god Mina is referring to.
she deserves her own movie
> <Simon's Birthday just passed>
> >> Wish him a Happy Birthday for me.
> >
> >23/10
>
> Birthday wishes expire in under one week?
his birthday has yet to arrive. It is now September, the ninth month.
> <Assassination attempt on Drizzt Mickey and Wulfgar Duck>
> Never fear, Salvatore is near. They won't be gone long.
I'm sure there's a way around it. Too many mineshafts.
> >> <The Hunger>
> >I feast at will
>
> Yes, my will.
and testament
> >> Lots of rings together make effective yet fashionable brass knuckles.
> >
> >car keys or a Leatherman
>
> Car keys are for gouging eyes, not hitting.
try wrapping your fist around a Leatherman
> >> You wait for the signal.
> >
> >what's the signal?!!!!!!!!
>
> ;-)
excuse me while I contemplate this Desert Eagle .44 autoloader.
> <Boss ordered staff to be gentlemen, or else>
> >should've pulled a gun
> No need. Fear of bad performance appraisals work wonders.
show footage of the boss at toll booths
> <Current boss inspires fear and likes it>
> >ooh yeah. Death threats?
> She's got a special talent for revenge. She's forced out a high powered
> rival and several of her subordinates. Whoever makes that threat would
> have to be prepared to carry it through.
okay. Sean never pulls his knife unless he plans to kill something.
> >> Then they main-lined instead of boozed.
> >
> >Pulp Fiction
>
> They had a geek named Zed on the team?
snorted heroin
> >> No. I'm just being a pest.
> >
> >good. Say 'hi' to my .22.
>
> Say 'bye' to Spike.
so what? Wrong continent anyway.
> ><ouchy sling>
> >>Poor baby. My left wrist is aching in sympathy and I just kissed it to
> >>make it better.
> >
> >mmm. Now, a bit to the southwest...
>
> Bunsen's taking over from here.
humans preferred
> >>>The test sucked but I made it.
> >>Congrats. One thing I don't miss from my school days are tests.
> >
> >the subject assessment is a 30% test and a 70% open book exam
>
> Those are easy, especially if you underline the right passages in the book.
open book makes even less sense than a standard test
> ><La Trobe food review>
> >I can never get organised and we never have enough bread
>
> Deli stop on the way to uni might be prudent.
too much. No milk today so beans and cheese on toast.
> >>Fenris? That'd make Bunsen quite the fluffy Labrador.
> >
> >apparently related, he's always trying to munch me
>
> He says it beats eating a La Trobe burger.
if he's been to La Trobe that's quite a feat. 15km away from the bolted
gate and the backyard corral he lives in.
Rohan "Likachu" Tolstrup, aka Spontaneouscombustionman
Morten Brattbakk
Altarielle <altar...@aol.com> skrev
> >> I liked RotBS. Your future stepdad may be interested, though.
> >
> >why should I read something I know to be a name recognition cash-in?
>
> So you two would have something to talk about as you do a stepson
> stepdad update of the FAQ.
I had a different vision of how I and Rohan can spend some quality time
together. We each bring a bazooka, sit down outside of Renton, and aim at
the Wizards of the Coast headquarter. "So you think you're gonna publish
Best of Tales Volume 1, eh?" I say. Rohan says in a dark voice "Think
again", and then we both fire.
Morten
Tolstrup
>
> prefer a republic than the stupid queen of england
then congratulations, you've been sucked in by the bastards who are
conspiring to conceal the fact that the symbolic crap they keep pushing
aren't the only issues and in fact pale in importance compared to
substantial issues like how the change would affect checks and balances.
Thank you for perpetuating the myth that all Australians (especially
young voters) are apathetic, easily-manipulated fools and overlooking
that 24 years of political precedent and 13 years of law have prevented
the Queen of Australia from intervening in any aspect of government.
Rohan Tolstrup, final year Legal Studies major, La Trobe University
Tolstrup
> I had a different vision of how I and Rohan can spend some quality time
> together. We each bring a bazooka, sit down outside of Renton, and aim at
> the Wizards of the Coast headquarter. "So you think you're gonna publish
> Best of Tales Volume 1, eh?" I say. Rohan says in a dark voice "Think
> again", and then we both fire.
bearing in mind we're talking about my mother here, I'd probably make it
look like you acted alone and backshoot you. As Renton seems to be the
concealed-carry capital of the NW ('98 Darwin Award iirc), I'd be more
inclined towards a tank, possibly with a bulldozer blade attached.
However, the suppressed carbine/grenade launcher (can take out choppers)
with night sights combo sounds good if we can run fast enough.
And if they're about to publish the Drowning In Cheese Chronicles:
"Golden Fury: Raistlin, the Masturbation Years", "Dri$$t and Rai$tlin
$ave the univer$e," and "Gonna make love even when I'm dead" they won't
have time to 'think again.'
Three cheers for Ozemail and their password-munching computers
Rohan Tolstrup
"Oh my God, they killed Laura!"
"You bastards!"
- Dragons of a Fallen Sun, first paragraph
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
<Open-ended adventure seeds should not be canon.>
>Emperor of Ansalon is unacceptable
Is it only in conflict with the modules or with Chronicles as well?
>
>something has to clarify the actual properties of the world, and game
>material can be comprehensive. However, it must stay canonical.
But clarification of the setting is important for gamers only. Novel readers
view the game line material as a perk.
>
<A disclaimer on modules would alleviate the book-game gap>
>so we've still got inter-line and inter-author screwups
Inter-line, again, is a gamer problem that even gamers disagree on.
Author screw ups is an editor/company snafu that a database would
alleviate.
>
<Blow up a city to save the world from the Balder's Gate virus>
Well, since the virus originated in Melbourne ....
>
<For some, Spelljammer defined Krynnish astronomy>
>in terms of business ethics and conventional morality it is wrong to
>change facts
Cosmology and astronomy are slightly different. What is the
spelljammer term for "The Beyond?"
>
<Getting armed back up for a dental appointment>
It'd be too expensive to fly you here, and you don't have your passport.
>
<LoTR characters are munchkins who only fear the One Ring>
<Phantom is loaded with goody good superheroes>
The difference is that the High Elves either have to clear out of
Middle-Earth or lose their munchkin status.
>
<Sshhh, Princess Margaret was a swinger>
It just bugs me that the royal family gives it younger members so
much grief, when it's obvious that the elder generation had its problems.
>
<Eddie Murphy David Hinkley parody starred Buckwheat as Reagan>
There is a 1930s B&W kids serial called the "Our Gang Comedies" that
are broadcasted ad nauseam in the States. Buckwheat and Alfalfa are
two very stereotypical characters from the show.
<Sean's a Lyme carrying drug dealer with diseased friends>
No argument here.
<Being a census taker must stink>
Right up there with being a telemarketer.
>
<Sean couldn't have met Chelsea because he hasn't been to CA.>
Chelsea came to New Zealand, remember?
>> <Rohan's geriatric obsession gets the better of him>
>I'm old enough to make my own decisions
Confronting those subconscious urges is the issue here, I think.
<Whisker bonfire's a snap to arrange>
Overconfident? No, just a realist.
>
<Getting rid of one man with abysmal taste>
First Melbourne, then Arizona. You'll have to stock up at the ACME
terrorist supply store.
>> ><boy scout or hunter?>
>wouldn't you prefer to have somebody carry your shopping?
A stalker merit badge? Whatever happened to the mundane categories
like good citizenship?
>
<Shattering the myth that Laura Majere is normal>
You can still entertain the idea. We're talking salaciousness here, not
superheroics.
<Gunthar is just too old for Dez>
I heard she caught Bertrem's eye when he and Caramon got together
to do the Bestiary.
>
<Henry VIII could've eliminated his first wife and told her dad she was
killed escaping with her lover>
The king of Spain would have called him a liar and gone to war.
>
>> <Queen Liz axes the Spanish Ambassador in a brothel using the
>> Killing Time method>
>> Like Henry, Liz didn't like to get her hands dirty and left that to
>minions.
>
>plausible deniability
You mean instead of Liz behind the mask in the brothel, it was Sir
Walter Raleigh?
>
>> <The Queen's considered barren, even if the King is the one who's sterile>
>> The king's law extended to biology.
>
>just ask Caligula
Who coined the phrase "you are what you eat."
>
>> <What does Rohan oozing into Rentonite pores have to do with cereal
>> and overflowing toilet bowls?>
>
>Death to America!!!!!!!!!!!
Before or after you've oozed into said pores?
>
>> <The Vatican can't be Neraka because it's protected by guards who
>> look like kender>
>
>you think a halberd is cute? Try getting charged by a formation of
>those blokes. The Swiss have an extremely good army.
Those outfits they wear will not stop gunfire. And yes, those little
suits that show off their knees make them absolutely adorable.
>
>> But you'll clear up the above two points, of course.
>
>I'll consider it
You're too good to me.
>
>> <Spike: A Cat's Life, as told to MZ Bradley>
>> Spike reveals that he dresses in dog fur to feel close to Lassie.
>
>the wiring just isn't there
Spike is a light fixture? In any event, it's an expression of his reverence
for this canine goddess.
>> >Mortification... great song title
>>
>> Companion piece to She Bop by Cyndi Lauper.
>
><rack>
Sigh. It's so gratifying to bring out the best in a man.
>
>> <The VW's parked by the High Clerist's Tower and Kit's got it>
>I thought a bunch of Tas clones pinched it
Sky got it at the last minute, mistaking it from a distance for
something edible.
>
>> <Gnome cloning machine keeps Dhamon going and going...>
>> >oi, Raistlin!
>>
>> The gnomes will take care of Raist with a strategically aimed cow.
>
>what?
Heroes and Fools. Creative version of gnome catapult munitions.
>
>> <Dalamar, the ultimate bath toy>
<Don't those bloody wounds disgust you?>
That's what bandages are for.
<Check all guns in at the door to the bathroom>
It'll be a little hard to use that gun if the Guardian has bled you dry.
>
>> >> <Invented angst is fraudulent>
>> It's a glass is half empty vs a glass is half full kind of thing.
>
>would you believe I'm sensitive?
Yes (after the eucalyptus haze clears, that is).
>
<Money can make saints of us all.>
>
>cross-examination is fun
Can be frustrating, if the person on the stand doesn't react though.
>
<Sex descrimination is held up for the armed forces>
<ID4 example of sexism in the army>
I missed that line -- when does the President say it?
>
>> >> >> ><antigovernment within reason>
>> <Kill the leaders, not the followers>
>
>I wonder how many applicants ATF got after Oklahoma?
Isolated incidents. People didn't pack up and leave the
World Trade Center en masse after the bombing.
>
>> <the Sally Field school of law enforcement>
>she knew he'd raped/killed her daughter. He got off on a legal
>technicality and resumed his spree. Dirty Harriett.
Not saying I didn't sympathize with her. But how many women with the
time and means to do that just wouldn't hire a goon to get rid of the sleaze?
>
<Henry VIII last wife wanted to palm off another guy's baby on him>
<Who'd care if she got a guard to do it?>
>>
>> Those Catholics who wanted to put Mary on the throne would be
>> interested, for starters...
>
>burn the bitches
Quite a few were before, during, and after.
>
<Mr. Tolstrup Sr gets the dirty part of caring for Bunsen>
Poor guy. I hope at least he's unusually lucky, an alleged side
benefit of dealing with that stuff.
<Crysania wouldn't trust another evil bunch (aka lawyers) to help her
after what happened with Raistlin.>
>
>gee, thanks. I'm qualified as a paralegal.
A thousand apologies. But you *did* say that Satan already had dibs
on your soul.
Assuming lawyers are like draconians, and a few Kangs exist among
countless Ghakans ;-P, I do think that Crysania more than the elves would
undertake something like a push to rewrite the Measure as a personal
project, because the knights are a special part of her constituency.
The fact that she let them go their own way meant she was not
especially worried about them.
>
>> >can we sort out who's shooting who here?
>> You shoot and miss, I shoot and win.
>
>sounds inegalitarian
Depends on your point of view.
>
>> <Elven/KoS relationship compared to Gulf War politics>
<No one's worried because the KoS can still supply troops>.
>
>but will they get the oil in future?
It may have become a concern after the gods left, but by then
the Knights were taking steps. And Gunthar had made some
changes to recruitment policies before taking a pen to the Measure.
>
<Only a faction of the Senate was out to get Porthios; the others could
have pushed the Measure issue>
If they were willing to give in to the KoT to protect their economic interests,
the senators were not going to expend dollars on a KoS issue that *might*
cause them problems in the future. Most elves believe they can do without
humans.
>
>> <Oath as the Golden Rule, Measure as 10 Commandments>
>> >yeppers. So just ditch the Measure altogether.
>> Not all minds think alike. The Measure is needed to define rules for
>> consensus.
>
>the canonical bits are
Alike? Maybe, but even in Chronicles the Measure had wiggle room.
>
<What "evil" will the KoS attack in the Fifth Age?>
>
>my vision is that the LoS are superficially different. Would *they*
>offer Valian a job?
Probably. They were founded by disaffected KoT.
>
>> <diplomacy is private>
>> Only when it involves treaties and trade agreements, not when one
>> sovereign power is meddling in the internal affairs of another.
>
>if you want something done, will you apply public embarassment?
What do you call trade embargos? Closing down a consulate?
>
>> <Laurana brokered the Treaty of the Three Nations>
>> Together with her brother, Alhana, and Tanis. And it doesn't invalidate
>> the premise that Laurana worked the elves while Tanis schmoozed the
>> humans.
>
>bloody 2nd Gen.
>
Okay, which story in 2nd Gen. says Laurana handled the human
side of the treaty negotiations exclusively?
>> <It's all Shalafi's fault, dammit!>
>>
>> Whatever you say.
>
>you'll find a length of tarred rope. Do your duty.
You want me to do the disappearing rope trick? I left my magic wand
at work.
>
<Pies were safe in the presence of Rambo>
>interesting priorities. Position on status of pie-rape should be a
>secondary consideration to say genocide.
Rambo did take the side of the oppressed the last of the sequels.
>
>> <DL may be re-oriented to Pokemon pre-teen fans>
>> >diediediediediediediediediediediediediediedie
>>
>> That'll take care of the next generation of DL fans.
>
>lock and load
They're not here yet -- it's the *next* generation.
>
>> Asking for feedback, like Liz Baldwin did on the list, is a good first
>step.
>
>....too little, too late.
One small step for TSR, one giant leap for WoTC.
<Twenty one gun salute for Morten's arrival in Oz>
Finally warming up to the idea?
>
<Mrs Tolstrup would worry about Simon moving away>
It isn't scary, it's just natural. I'm sure she's lost some sleep over you
as well.
>
<an anti-missile gatling system is faster than Speedy Gonzalez>
Getting Speedy to stay within a gunsight is another story.
>
>> <Bond is boring>
>> ><BOOM>. Bond movies are totally unrealistic.
>> They'll only replace Pierce with Tom Cruise.
>
>where's my .303?
With your .304?
>
>> >> ><Sword, voluntarily unemployed>
>> >his job is more hazardous than making rego plates.
>>
>> I'll make sure he dials 000 on the briefcase then.
>
>he hates bombs. Way too random.
He'll only have to go through this once.
>
>> <Sean's not my type, I'm just feeding a growing boy>
<The gravy is to die for.>
>
>poison again?
Lure.
>
>> >> ><full and curvy tail>
>> >> Getting your hand on the matter is easier said than done.
>> >
>> >only when I sleep?
>>
>> Not going there.
>
>and you're talking about my mother in a Tandar situation?
No, I'm talking about Morten in a Tandar situation. I just discuss
Norway with your Mom.
>
>> <Desi Arnaz practiced Voodoo and used his real name>
>> The Arnaz family was very important in Cuba, so it would have been
>> a mistake not to.
>
>breakthrough huh?
For a Cuban in 1940s America? Yes it was.
>
>> >> >> >> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
>> >what if you fail?
>>
>> Word's not in my vocabulary.
>
>good point. You'll be dead.
Maybe of old age, but that's far in the future.
>
<Rohan's mom will make him mind his manners>
>mother, please shut up
Your dad will never let that slide.
>
<Closet Koala in denial>
>
>drugs are bad ummkay
Not if eucalyptus is part of your natural diet.
>
>> >> This means the gift that Bunsen swallowed while he was here in
>> >> the States is still intact and ready to go off on countdown.
>> >
>> >who sets them, Nostradamus?
>>
>> Strategic kibble.
>
>WHAT?
Digestible smart chip technology. A gnome invention.
>
>> >> ><Taxi Driver date>
>> Literally, you'll make a nice spray of confetti as the land mine goes off.
>
>you're a sprinter now?
I'll be watching on screen from my underground bunker.
>
<Bupu: Krynn's first gully dwarf serial killer>
>> Bupu is the one god Mina is referring to.
>
>she deserves her own movie
Warrior. Princess. Gully Dwarf. Lucy Lawless is probably in
negotiations as we speak.
>
>> <Simon's Birthday just passed>
>> >> Wish him a Happy Birthday for me.
>> >
>> >23/10
>>
>> Birthday wishes expire in under one week?
>
>his birthday has yet to arrive. It is now September, the ninth month.
Oops. It doesn't hurt to be early.
>
>> <Assassination attempt on Drizzt Mickey and Wulfgar Duck>
>> Never fear, Salvatore is near. They won't be gone long.
>
>I'm sure there's a way around it. Too many mineshafts.
You'll have assassins out of Renton on your case then. Salvatore is
a money machine.
>
>> >> <The Hunger>
>> >I feast at will
>>
>> Yes, my will.
>
>and testament
Call it the Measure defining allowable consumption.
>
<Concealed weapons>
>> Car keys are for gouging eyes, not hitting.
>
>try wrapping your fist around a Leatherman
Unless my assailant is my size, blunt force is rarely to my advantage.
>
>> >> You wait for the signal.
>> >
>> >what's the signal?!!!!!!!!
>>
>> ;-)
>
>excuse me while I contemplate this Desert Eagle .44 autoloader.
You'll miss the signal if you do that.
>
>> <Boss ordered staff to be gentlemen, or else>
>> No need. Fear of bad performance appraisals work wonders.
>
>show footage of the boss at toll booths
Never thought of that. He would have probably done it, too.
>
>> <Current boss inspires fear and likes it>
>okay. Sean never pulls his knife unless he plans to kill something.
He wouldn't get past her doorman.
>
>> >> No. I'm just being a pest.
>> >
>> >good. Say 'hi' to my .22.
>>
>> Say 'bye' to Spike.
>
>so what? Wrong continent anyway.
Spike means that little to you? Shame on you.
>
>> ><ouchy sling>
>> >>Poor baby. My left wrist is aching in sympathy and I just kissed it to
>> >>make it better.
>> >
>> >mmm. Now, a bit to the southwest...
>>
>> Bunsen's taking over from here.
>
>humans preferred
Funny, that's Bunsen's sentiment exactly.
>
>open book makes even less sense than a standard test
Agreed. If it's an essay you can't answer, the book's just taking
up space on your desk.
>
<Bunsen rates Rohan slightly ahead of a La Trobe burger>
>if he's been to La Trobe that's quite a feat. 15km away from the bolted
>gate and the backyard corral he lives in.
You think Spike's the only one who knows how to sneak out of the house?
Tolstrup
>
> >Emperor of Ansalon is unacceptable
> Is it only in conflict with the modules or with Chronicles as well?
Emperor of Ansalon ignores not only the class change but also the
background W&H developed for him. Neither is acceptable, as Chronicles
was the final version. DLC15A ignores *both*.
> >something has to clarify the actual properties of the world, and game
> >material can be comprehensive. However, it must stay canonical.
>
> But clarification of the setting is important for gamers only. Novel readers
> view the game line material as a perk.
and a character somehow feels more real when it's uncertain which of
their first-person experiences is true?
> Inter-line, again, is a gamer problem that even gamers disagree on.
> Author screw ups is an editor/company snafu that a database would
> alleviate.
I meant internal. W&H have actually been contradicting themselves.
> <Blow up a city to save the world from the Balder's Gate virus>
>
> Well, since the virus originated in Melbourne ....
oh, but it's spread. That'd be like blowing up Austria for Hitler and
vanilla slices.
> <For some, Spelljammer defined Krynnish astronomy>
>
> >in terms of business ethics and conventional morality it is wrong to
> >change facts
>
> Cosmology and astronomy are slightly different. What is the
> spelljammer term for "The Beyond?"
a different plane of existence. Spelljammer simply modified without
substantially changing the 'multiple prime material' approach.
> <Getting armed back up for a dental appointment>
> It'd be too expensive to fly you here, and you don't have your passport.
as I've said, it's only the one with the frequent flier points they've
got. But I can organise a hired gun.
> <Phantom is loaded with goody good superheroes>
> The difference is that the High Elves either have to clear out of
> Middle-Earth or lose their munchkin status.
otoh the Phantom's been going strong for 400 years and 21 generations.
All of whom were divorced from reality. I want to see him shooting up.
Blue Heelers is about squeaky-clean 'young' 'coppers with heart' in an
idyllic country town. Last night the professional 'daughter of the
nation' star got stoned on magic mushrooms. Heh heh heh. Sean alibied.
> <Sshhh, Princess Margaret was a swinger>
> It just bugs me that the royal family gives it younger members so
> much grief, when it's obvious that the elder generation had its problems.
it just bugs me that anybody cares. They've got symbolic importance to
the Brit system of govt. I believe we should keep them, mainly because
they're a cornerstone of our checks & balances and if it ain't broke...
> <Eddie Murphy David Hinkley parody starred Buckwheat as Reagan>
I remember watching Little Rascals when I was about eight...
> <Sean's a Lyme carrying drug dealer with diseased friends>
> No argument here.
can I interest you in some of this wonderful powder?
> <Being a census taker must stink>
>
> Right up there with being a telemarketer.
telemarketers get to tell all their friends to annoy certain people.
Just look at the spam industry.
> <Sean couldn't have met Chelsea because he hasn't been to CA.>
> Chelsea came to New Zealand, remember?
he was born in Belfast, lived there until he was about ten, and has
lived in Alaska ever since. Otoh he's been to the outer planes and
actually spoken directly with a goddess...
> >> <Rohan's geriatric obsession gets the better of him>
> >I'm old enough to make my own decisions
> Confronting those subconscious urges is the issue here, I think.
I'll just grab some fishing line, duct tape, hunting knife and a jumbo
pack of Trojans and head for a kindergarten. Sort myself out somewhere
in the middle.
> <Whisker bonfire's a snap to arrange>
> Overconfident? No, just a realist.
you've still got to catch Sean. You can have *my* whiskers, provided
you want to collect 'em after I've shaved.
> <Getting rid of one man with abysmal taste>
> First Melbourne, then Arizona. You'll have to stock up at the ACME
> terrorist supply store.
I own 10%
> >> ><boy scout or hunter?>
>
> >wouldn't you prefer to have somebody carry your shopping?
>
> A stalker merit badge? Whatever happened to the mundane categories
> like good citizenship?
this is the nineties
> <Shattering the myth that Laura Majere is normal>
>
> You can still entertain the idea. We're talking salaciousness here, not
> superheroics.
you realise of course that extreme promiscuity is a bad idea in a
society without real medicine or contraception?
> <Gunthar is just too old for Dez>
> I heard she caught Bertrem's eye when he and Caramon got together
> to do the Bestiary.
Bertrem was capable of seeing? Maybe she wiped his arse.
> <Henry VIII could've eliminated his first wife and told her dad she was
> killed escaping with her lover>
>
> The king of Spain would have called him a liar and gone to war.
of course, if it can convincingly look like an accident, then the
Spazzos would've looked like hotheaded idiots to third parties.
> >> <Queen Liz axes the Spanish Ambassador in a brothel using the
> >> Killing Time method>
> >plausible deniability
>
> You mean instead of Liz behind the mask in the brothel, it was Sir
> Walter Raleigh?
I'm personally descended from the man. I'd be inclined to send
assassins or get the victim drunk on a sinking boat.
> >> The king's law extended to biology.
> >just ask Caligula
> Who coined the phrase "you are what you eat."
his minders invented jelly babies
> >> <What does Rohan oozing into Rentonite pores have to do with cereal
> >> and overflowing toilet bowls?>
> >
> >Death to America!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Before or after you've oozed into said pores?
I'm not that venomous. And it's disgusting to have water that high,
apart from being a colossal waste.
> >> <The Vatican can't be Neraka because it's protected by guards who
> >> look like kender>
> >you think a halberd is cute? Try getting charged by a formation of
> >those blokes. The Swiss have an extremely good army.
> Those outfits they wear will not stop gunfire. And yes, those little
> suits that show off their knees make them absolutely adorable.
try when they're in battledress and packing Weapons By Sig (just about
the best guns around)
> >> But you'll clear up the above two points, of course.
> >
> >I'll consider it
>
> You're too good to me.
basically, the purpose of a toilet is waste *disposal*. Following me so
far? Soldiers with a centuries-old traditional uniform wear it because
at one point it was the height of military chic and scared living shit
out of victims. And taking on a Swiss Guard, Life Guard etc would be a
bad idea.
> >> <Spike: A Cat's Life, as told to MZ Bradley>
> >> Spike reveals that he dresses in dog fur to feel close to Lassie.
> >the wiring just isn't there
>
> Spike is a light fixture? In any event, it's an expression of his reverence
> for this canine goddess.
he's too young to remember Lassie
<music and shotguns>
> Sigh. It's so gratifying to bring out the best in a man.
could you hold still? The apple keeps moving.
> >> <The VW's parked by the High Clerist's Tower and Kit's got it>
>
> >I thought a bunch of Tas clones pinched it
>
> Skie got it at the last minute, mistaking it from a distance for
> something edible.
and now, Kitiara driving anything, let alone a hippiemobile? She'd
probably remove the indicators (turning, braking and reversing) to save
weight. What'd she do with the micro-uzi under the seat?
> >> The gnomes will take care of Raist with a strategically aimed cow.
> >
> >what?
>
> Heroes and Fools. Creative version of gnome catapult munitions.
and you're on what?
> >> <Dalamar, the ultimate bath toy>
> <Don't those bloody wounds disgust you?>
> That's what bandages are for.
the blood doesn't stop, so it'd soak through. It'd be cool if Raist'd
done that to a white robe.
> <Check all guns in at the door to the bathroom>
> It'll be a little hard to use that gun if the Guardian has bled you dry.
remember, even the master of the tower can't get in... and you only need
to use a few muscles.
> >> >> <Invented angst is fraudulent>
> >> It's a glass is half empty vs a glass is half full kind of thing.
> >
> >would you believe I'm sensitive?
>
> Yes (after the eucalyptus haze clears, that is).
that's nice. Want to hear my angst-filled poetry about torturing small
animals at syringepoint while neck-deep in Fanta?
> <Money can make saints of us all.>
> >cross-examination is fun
>
> Can be frustrating, if the person on the stand doesn't react though.
but the one asking the questions is in charge and can keep going all day
> <Sex descrimination is held up for the armed forces>
> <ID4 example of sexism in the army>
>
> I missed that line -- when does the President say it?
'Gentlemen, let's pave the road.' As a politician, logically he
wouldn't have said that if any women were flying. And plenty are
qualified - test pilots, ferry pilots, plus anybody who'd done
considerable time in an F18 simulator (and who wouldn't?). What I like
is that the F18 is a *Navy* plane (Navy & Marines) - where were all the
F15s and 16s which the Air Farce actually uses, and has in much greater
quantity?
> >> >> >> ><antigovernment within reason>
> >> <Kill the leaders, not the followers>
> >I wonder how many applicants ATF got after Oklahoma?
> Isolated incidents. People didn't pack up and leave the
> World Trade Center en masse after the bombing.
a lot more damage was done than killing Janet Reno would've accomplished
> >> <the Sally Field school of law enforcement>
> >she knew he'd raped/killed her daughter. He got off on a legal
> >technicality and resumed his spree. Dirty Harriett.
> Not saying I didn't sympathize with her. But how many women with the
> time and means to do that just wouldn't hire a goon to get rid of the sleaze?
because that would've detracted from the 'middle class outrage' theme of
the flick. I'm more inclined towards a media that tries to make the
existing system work, say by advocating reform. The Dirty Harry
drinking game probably involves two shots every time official
institutions get in the way of law enforcement.
> <Henry VIII last wife wanted to palm off another guy's baby on him>
> <Who'd care if she got a guard to do it?>
> >> Those Catholics who wanted to put Mary on the throne would be
> >> interested, for starters...
> >
> >burn the bitches
>
> Quite a few were before, during, and after.
burn bitch burn
> <Mr. Tolstrup Sr gets the dirty part of caring for Bunsen>
> Poor guy. I hope at least he's unusually lucky, an alleged side
> benefit of dealing with that stuff.
well, he's an overachieving extrovert with a hefty shadow
> <Crysania wouldn't trust another evil bunch (aka lawyers) to help her
> after what happened with Raistlin.>
> >
> >gee, thanks. I'm qualified as a paralegal.
>
> A thousand apologies. But you *did* say that Satan already had dibs
> on your soul.
want to start counting loopholes? Remember, you and Cassii are both up
for a cut.
> Assuming lawyers are like draconians, and a few Kangs exist among
> countless Ghakans ;-P, I do think that Crysania more than the elves would
> undertake something like a push to rewrite the Measure as a personal
> project, because the knights are a special part of her constituency.
>
> The fact that she let them go their own way meant she was not
> especially worried about them.
or T$R wasn't especially worried about reality? With countless Gakhans
it wouldn't be humans running the dragonarmies.
> >> You shoot and miss, I shoot and win.
> >
> >sounds inegalitarian
>
> Depends on your point of view.
....yours being of the business end of a precision-crafted Steyr GB
> >but will they get the oil in future?
> It may have become a concern after the gods left, but by then
> the Knights were taking steps. And Gunthar had made some
> changes to recruitment policies before taking a pen to the Measure.
but we've established he's a simulacrum as the real Gunthar died age
sixty like everybody else.
> <Only a faction of the Senate was out to get Porthios; the others could
> have pushed the Measure issue>
>
> If they were willing to give in to the KoT to protect their economic interests,
> the senators were not going to expend dollars on a KoS issue that *might*
> cause them problems in the future. Most elves believe they can do without
> humans.
so soon after the WotL? And remember, there were a lot of job vacancies
in the Senate and a fair few younger elves.
> >> Not all minds think alike. The Measure is needed to define rules for
> >> consensus.
> >
> >the canonical bits are
>
> Alike? Maybe, but even in Chronicles the Measure had wiggle room.
it'd become a legal document rather than a living code
> <What "evil" will the KoS attack in the Fifth Age?>
> >my vision is that the LoS are superficially different. Would *they*
> >offer Valian a job?
> Probably. They were founded by disaffected KoT.
but would the elves deal with them if Valian's involvement was known?
The disaffected KoT should've just joined the KoS.
> >> <diplomacy is private>
> >if you want something done, will you apply public embarassment?
> What do you call trade embargos? Closing down a consulate?
over cognac and cigars you quietly point out that you could do so if
they don't see your point of view. Public yelling forces them into
damage control mode. Think of the Carter admin.
> >> <Laurana brokered the Treaty of the Three Nations>
> >bloody 2nd Gen.
> Okay, which story in 2nd Gen. says Laurana handled the human
> side of the treaty negotiations exclusively?
2nd Gen is a poorly conceived piece o' shit book.
> >> <It's all Shalafi's fault, dammit!>
> >>
> >> Whatever you say.
> >
> >you'll find a length of tarred rope. Do your duty.
>
> You want me to do the disappearing rope trick? I left my magic wand
> at work.
get a stepladder, throw the rope over a beam...
> <Pies were safe in the presence of Rambo>
>
> >interesting priorities. Position on status of pie-rape should be a
> >secondary consideration to say genocide.
> Rambo did take the side of the oppressed the last of the sequels.
he took the side of hypocritical US policy. Compare the choice of side
to the second one. America lauded, Russia canned for the same acts.
And remember how the Russkies were vilified in both?
> >> <DL may be re-oriented to Pokemon pre-teen fans>
> >> >diediediediediediediediediediediediediediedie
> >> That'll take care of the next generation of DL fans.
> >lock and load
>
> They're not here yet -- it's the *next* generation.
excuse me while I invest in family planning, contraception and
accessible abortion clinics.
> >> Asking for feedback, like Liz Baldwin did on the list, is a good first
> >step.
> >
> >....too little, too late.
>
> One small step for TSR, one giant leap for WoTC.
one four-pound squeeze for me
> <Twenty one gun salute for Morten's arrival in Oz>
>
> Finally warming up to the idea?
<chunder>
> <Mrs Tolstrup would worry about Simon moving away>
> It isn't scary, it's just natural. I'm sure she's lost some sleep over you
> as well.
muhahahahahaha. Maybe I should intro you to my high school teachers and
social workers.
> <an anti-missile gatling system is faster than Speedy Gonzalez>
>
> Getting Speedy to stay within a gunsight is another story.
the acquisition and tracking system is entirely electrical. A gatling
gun designed to take out small, extremely fast-moving objects capable of
maneuvering would find any kind of mouse to be cake. Even if he
invested in cyberlegs, they'd melt.
> >> <Bond is boring>
> >> They'll only replace Pierce with Tom Cruise.
> >
> >where's my .303?
> With your .304?
afaik that calibre doesn't exist. I'll just settle for a G3.
> >> >> ><Sword, voluntarily unemployed>
> >he hates bombs. Way too random.
>
> He'll only have to go through this once.
he's also wise to that trick
> >> <Sean's not my type, I'm just feeding a growing boy>
> <The gravy is to die for.>
> >poison again?
> Lure.
and you'll take out an extremely paranoid bastard with sixth sense,
lightning reflexes and the ability to change form and regenerate damage
HOW?
> >> >> ><full and curvy tail>
> >and you're talking about my mother in a Tandar situation?
>
> No, I'm talking about Morten in a Tandar situation. I just discuss
> Norway with your Mom.
I take it you've actually been there then?
> >> <Desi Arnaz practiced Voodoo and used his real name>
> >> The Arnaz family was very important in Cuba, so it would have been
> >> a mistake not to.
> >
> >breakthrough huh?
> For a Cuban in 1940s America? Yes it was.
sounds like black congressmen just after the Civil War.
> >> >> >> >> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
> >> >what if you fail?
> >> Word's not in my vocabulary.
> >good point. You'll be dead.
>
> Maybe of old age, but that's far in the future.
that's what you think. <schlinng>
> <Rohan's mom will make him mind his manners>
> >mother, please shut up
>
> Your dad will never let that slide.
he's out of it by now
> <Closet Koala in denial>
> >drugs are bad ummkay
>
> Not if eucalyptus is part of your natural diet.
are you aware they practice coprophagy?
> >> >who sets them, Nostradamus?
> >>
> >> Strategic kibble.
> >
> >WHAT?
>
> Digestible smart chip technology. A gnome invention.
you realise, timers are only good for events you can predict
> >> >> ><Taxi Driver date>
> >> Literally, you'll make a nice spray of confetti as the land mine goes off.
> >
> >you're a sprinter now?
> I'll be watching on screen from my underground bunker.
cool, shadows. Sean should drop by, because he can.
> <Bupu: Krynn's first gully dwarf serial killer>
> >> Bupu is the one god Mina is referring to.
> >
> >she deserves her own movie
>
> Warrior. Princess. Gully Dwarf. Lucy Lawless is probably in
> negotiations as we speak.
they used Jodie Foster last time...
<yanks have no sense of time>
> >> Birthday wishes expire in under one week?
> >
> >his birthday has yet to arrive. It is now September, the ninth month.
>
> Oops. It doesn't hurt to be early.
what the hell can I get him?
> >> <Assassination attempt on Drizzt Mickey and Wulfgar Duck>
> >> Never fear, Salvatore is near. They won't be gone long.
> >
> >I'm sure there's a way around it. Too many mineshafts.
>
> You'll have assassins out of Renton on your case then. Salvatore is
> a money machine.
forty sounds like a good age to make it to
> >> >> <The Hunger>
> >> >I feast at will
> >>
> >> Yes, my will.
> >
> >and testament
>
> Call it the Measure defining allowable consumption.
I don't obey the Measure
> <Concealed weapons>
> >> Car keys are for gouging eyes, not hitting.
> >
> >try wrapping your fist around a Leatherman
>
> Unless my assailant is my size, blunt force is rarely to my advantage.
beats hitting 'em bareknuckle
<what in the name of **** is the signal?>
> >> ;-)
> >
> >excuse me while I contemplate this Desert Eagle .44 autoloader.
>
> You'll miss the signal if you do that.
maybe I'll just make my own
> >> <Boss ordered staff to be gentlemen, or else>
> >show footage of the boss at toll booths
>
> Never thought of that. He would have probably done it, too.
how many tries does it take to get the coin in?
> >> <Current boss inspires fear and likes it>
> >okay. Sean never pulls his knife unless he plans to kill something.
>
> He wouldn't get past her doorman.
no problem. If she's got shadows or a shiny thing (uncertain which)
physical barriers are irrelevant. And remember, he's a rat, complete
with a poison-drippin' dagger appropriate to his size.
> >> >> No. I'm just being a pest.
> >> >
> >> >good. Say 'hi' to my .22.
> >>
> >> Say 'bye' to Spike.
> >
> >so what? Wrong continent anyway.
>
> Spike means that little to you? Shame on you.
admittedly Bunsen was the last to bite me...
> >> ><ouchy sling>
> >humans preferred
>
> Funny, that's Bunsen's sentiment exactly.
we've trained him out of that. I'd probably better walk him as I
haven't all week...
> >open book makes even less sense than a standard test
> Agreed. If it's an essay you can't answer, the book's just taking
> up space on your desk.
the purpose of a test is to find out how much you've memorised. Essays
should be written on the student's terms.
> <Bunsen rates Rohan slightly ahead of a La Trobe burger>
<Bunsen's been to La Trobe?>
> You think Spike's the only one who knows how to sneak out of the house?
Bunsen doesn't know how to drive (Spike gets a couple of other cats -
one handles the pedals, the other the brake, lever and radio)
Rohan Tolstrup, crawling back for the daily ritualistic slashing
"I can't wait until (your daughter's) sixteenth birthday" - a cuckold,
Undercover Heart
Altarielle
<Tols...@c032.aone.net.au> writes:
<Emperor of Ansalon ignores both novels and modules>
Unfortunately, the only way to deal this kind of mistake is to treat it
like the two genesis stories in the Bible -- pick one or none and move on.
>
<Game material canonity doesn't matter as much to novel readers.>
>and a character somehow feels more real when it's uncertain which of
>their first-person experiences is true?
That's true to life -- look at all the different Bill Clinton stories there
are.
>
<W&H have actually been contradicting themselves.>
Short of running them through Morten's inconsistency fixer, not much
is going to change there, either.
>
<There's *got* to be a reason for blowing up Melbourne>
Nuke it from orbit -- it's the only way to be sure.
>
<Spelljammer can be interpreted to explain Krynnish cosmology>
>Spelljammer simply modified without substantially changing the
'multiple prime material' approach.
It assumes that AO and the High God are equal. Suppose there is
such a thing as a lord of the multiverse?
>
>> <Getting armed back up for a dental appointment>
Tempting, but I think I'll save the armed back up for my taxman.
<Sean's been getting someone stoned again.>
A small idyllic cop town. Sean's in Mayberry? So that's why Don
Knotts is so twitchy.
>
<The British monarchy does serve a purpose>
What checks and balances can a powerless royal family preserve?
>> <Sean's a Lyme carrying drug dealer with diseased friends>
>> No argument here.
>
>can I interest you in some of this wonderful powder?
Only if it's vanilla and is used to make shakes.
>
<Telemarketers extract vengeance through spam>
But I pity those who have to phone prospects, especially if they call me.
>
<Sean and Chelsea Clinton have never been together>
You said he spoke to a goddess -- he must have gone straight to Hill then.
>> >> <Rohan's geriatric obsession gets the better of him>
<Rohan obsesses in the opposite direction>
Going after the 60 year old kindergarten teacher now?
>
<Rohan's whiskers: when you care enough to send the very best>
I accept -- It will make a nice start to my collection.
<Rohan owns 10% of the Acme Terrorist supply store>
Not a wise investment -- you consume too much of your own inventory.
>
<90s boy scouts earn stalking badges>
90s girl scouts earn castration badges>
>
<Laura Majere can't be salacious and healthy at the same time>
Laura inherited Kit's +5 Ring of Protection against STDs.
>
<Tandar Part 2: The Dez and Bertrem story>
>
>Bertrem was capable of seeing? Maybe she wiped his arse.
Come now, blindness didn't stop Crysania.
>
<Hank VIII kept his first wife alive to keep Spain happy>
>of course, if it can convincingly look like an accident, then the
>Spazzos would've looked like hotheaded idiots to third parties.
While Hank was busy with Spain, the French would have blindsided him.
>
<Queen Liz would have ordered a Walter Raleigh type to kill for her>
>
>I'm personally descended from the man.
<forms a mental picture> Rohan Tolstrup, man in tights.
>I'd be inclined to send assassins or get the victim drunk on a
sinking boat.
Nero tried to do that to his mother and she swam back to shore.
>
>> >> The king's law extended to biology.
>> >just ask Caligula
>> Who coined the phrase "you are what you eat."
>
>his minders invented jelly babies
The cherry flavored ones, at any rate.
>
<Can Rohan destroy Renton by oozing himself into pores?>
>I'm not that venomous. And it's disgusting to have water that high,
>apart from being a colossal waste.
It's not as if anything's going to float back up and bite you.
>
<The Vatican's Swiss Guard may be tough but they dress like kender>
>
>try when they're in battledress and packing Weapons By Sig (just about
>the best guns around)
Battle dress doesn't sound anywhere near as cute. And the traditional
dress would only scare Steve Urkel.
>
>> >> <Spike: Closet Collie, as told to MZ Bradley>
>
>he's too young to remember Lassie
In any event MZ Bradley passed away, so the book deal's off.
>
><music and shotguns>
>> Sigh. It's so gratifying to bring out the best in a man.
>
>could you hold still? The apple keeps moving.
It's coming right at you now.
>
<What the heck would Kit do with a VW?>
Smelt it and make counterfeit currency.
>What'd she do with the micro-uzi under the seat?
Unpleasant things that are best left unsaid.
>
<Rohan still hasn't read Heroes and Fools>
>and you're on what?
A chair, typing.
>
>> >> <Dalamar, the ultimate bath toy>
<The blood would ooze through the bandages eventually>
Just how long do you think he'd be in there?
>
>> <Check all guns in at the door to the bathroom>
>> It'll be a little hard to use that gun if the Guardian has bled you dry.
>
>remember, even the master of the tower can't get in... and you only need
>to use a few muscles.
But you didn't explain how you got the gun past him to begin with.
>
<would I believe Rohan's sensitive?>
>>
>> Yes (after the eucalyptus haze clears, that is).
>
>that's nice. Want to hear my angst-filled poetry about torturing small
>animals at syringepoint while neck-deep in Fanta?
Must have been written during eucalyptus withdrawal.
>
>> <Money can make saints of us all.>
<Cross-examination can last forever>
That works both ways. The lawyer has to listen all day as well.
>
>> <ID4 example of sexism in the army>
>> I missed that line -- when does the President say it?
>
>'Gentlemen, let's pave the road.' As a politician, logically he
>wouldn't have said that if any women were flying.
It could have been a slip. The world was about to end.
> where were all the F15s and 16s which the Air Farce actually uses,
and has in much greater quantity?
Probably blown up in Arizona. The F15s and 16s are massed near Tucson.
>
>> >> >> >> ><antigovernment within reason>
>> >> <Kill the leaders, not the followers>
<Killing the followers doesn't stop more from taking their place>
>
>a lot more damage was done than killing Janet Reno would've accomplished
It certainly did not improve the separatist movement's image in America.
>
>> >> <the Sally Field school of law enforcement>
<Any woman who can splurge on trailing a murderer can hire a hitman>
<Media advocating social justice reform is better than vigilantism>
I'll take a reform oriented movie over a housewife gets away with
improbable justifiable homicide any day.
>
>> <Mr. Tolstrup Sr gets the dirty part of caring for Bunsen>
>well, he's an overachieving extrovert with a hefty shadow
So the stuff about poop being lucky is true.
>
>> <Crysania wouldn't trust another evil bunch (aka lawyers) to help her
>> after what happened with Raistlin.>
>> A thousand apologies. But you *did* say that Satan already had dibs
>> on your soul.
>
>want to start counting loopholes? Remember, you and Cassii are both up
>for a cut.
We're thinking about putting our shares up on eBay to test the waters.
>
<Crysania would've wanted to personally oversee any Measure rewrite if
she were asked to participate because the KoS are biggies in the Church>
>
>or T$R wasn't especially worried about reality? With countless Gakhans
>it wouldn't be humans running the dragonarmies.
Gakhan is a figurative example representing a certain profession.
>
>> >> You shoot and miss, I shoot and win.
>> >
>> >sounds inegalitarian
>>
>> Depends on your point of view.
>
>....yours being of the business end of a precision-crafted Steyr GB
But you'll miss. Those are the rules.
>
<Gunthar took steps to change recruitment policies after the gods left>
>
>but we've established he's a simulacrum as the real Gunthar died age
>sixty like everybody else.
Why go to so much trouble? He can come back from the dead like
everyone else.
>
>> <Only a faction of the Senate was out to get Porthios; the others could
>> have pushed the Measure issue>
>>
<Only economic duress caused the elves to react, as per the Puppet King>
>
>so soon after the WotL? And remember, there were a lot of job vacancies
>in the Senate and a fair few younger elves.
Again, in the Puppet King, the younger generation was effectively ignored.
>
<The Measure is needed to define consensus>
>> but even in Chronicles the Measure had wiggle room.
>
>it'd become a legal document rather than a living code
The Oath is the living piece of it, because it is so subjective.
>
<LoS would hire Valian because they started as unhappy KoT>
>
>but would the elves deal with them if Valian's involvement was known?
No, but I don't see the elves dealing much with the LoS to begin with.
>The disaffected KoT should've just joined the KoS.
Agreed, since they are virtually identical.
>
>> >> <diplomacy is private>
>> What do you call trade embargos? Closing down a consulate?
>
>over cognac and cigars you quietly point out that you could do so if
>they don't see your point of view. Public yelling forces them into
>damage control mode. Think of the Carter admin.
Cigars work if a dispute is being mediated. The elves telling the KoS to
clean up their Measure would be similar to US efforts in the Middle East.
Which are still producing zero results.
>
>> Okay, which story in 2nd Gen. says Laurana handled the human
>> side of the treaty negotiations exclusively?
>
>2nd Gen is a poorly conceived piece o' shit book.
In other words, nowhere explicitly.
>
<Rohan wants to see me do a rope trick>
>
>get a stepladder, throw the rope over a beam...
What's your tie size again?
>
>> <Pies were safe in the presence of Rambo>
>>
<Rambo cared for the underdog in general>
>
<Rambo's a US propaganda posterboy>
Even Superman fought for truth, justice, and the American way.
>
>> >> <DL may be re-oriented to Pokemon pre-teen fans>
>> They're not here yet -- it's the *next* generation.
>
>excuse me while I invest in family planning, contraception and
>accessible abortion clinics.
Sir Walter Raleigh's line ends here. Oh well, he must have had cousins.
>
>> >> Asking for feedback, like Liz Baldwin did on the list, is a good first
>> >step.
>> >
>> >....too little, too late.
>>
>> One small step for TSR, one giant leap for WoTC.
>
>one four-pound squeeze for me
Eliminating editors does not improve continuity.
>
>> <Twenty one gun salute for Morten's arrival in Oz>
>>
>> Finally warming up to the idea?
>
><chunder>
Don't be nervous. He's probably the same sweet guy that you read
about on AFDL.
>
>> <Mrs Tolstrup would worry about Simon moving away>
<Simon's not the only one she worries about>
>muhahahahahaha. Maybe I should intro you to my high school teachers and
>social workers.
What more can they tell me that I haven't already read?
>
>> <an anti-missile gatling system is faster than Speedy Gonzalez>
>>
Speedy is safe if Wiley Coyote is at the controls.
>
>> >> >> ><Sword, voluntarily unemployed>
>> >he hates bombs. Way too random.
>>
>> He'll only have to go through this once.
>
>he's also wise to that trick
But he's not expecting it, since the briefcase originally was yours.
>
>> >> <Sean's not my type, I'm just feeding a growing boy>
>> <The gravy is to die for.>
>> >poison again?
>> Lure.
>
<How will you kill a munchkin rat?>
I'll tell you over the whisker bonfire.
>
>> >> >> ><full and curvy tail>
<Has Altie been to Norway?>
No, your Mom and I discuss all the great reasons it'd be nice to go there.
>
>> >> >> >> >> ><Altie turns the tables on Kong>
>> >> >what if you fail?
>> >> Word's not in my vocabulary.
>> >good point. You'll be dead.
>>
>> Maybe of old age, but that's far in the future.
>
>that's what you think. <schlinng>
You just wounded my postman. That's a federal offense.
>
>> <Rohan's mom will make him mind his manners>
>> >mother, please shut up
>>
>> Your dad will never let that slide.
>
>he's out of it by now
That's the kind of thing that would get your Dad's undivided attention.
>
>> <Closet Koala in denial>
>> >drugs are bad ummkay
>>
>> Not if eucalyptus is part of your natural diet.
>
>are you aware they practice coprophagy?
Don't make me look up words so late at night. It's mean.
>
>> >> >who sets them, Nostradamus?
>> >>
>> >> Strategic kibble.
>> >
>> >WHAT?
>>
>> Digestible smart chip technology. A gnome invention.
>
>you realise, timers are only good for events you can predict
The mechanism is sensitive to acids and reacts to a change in
digestive juices.
>
>> >> >> ><Taxi Driver date>
>> >> Literally, you'll make a nice spray of confetti as the land mine goes
>off.
>> >
>> >you're a sprinter now?
>> I'll be watching on screen from my underground bunker.
>
>cool, shadows. Sean should drop by, because he can.
The mouse house is waiting for him. So's Vee.
>
<Lucy Lawless as Bupu, Warrior Princess>
>they used Jodie Foster last time...
On second thought, if it's 5th age Bupu, it should be Rhea Perlman.
>
><yanks have no sense of time>
>> >> Birthday wishes expire in under one week?
>> >
>> >his birthday has yet to arrive. It is now September, the ninth month.
>>
>> Oops. It doesn't hurt to be early.
>
>what the hell can I get him?
The hip flask similar to the one you got sounds like a good idea.
>
>> >> <Assassination attempt on Drizzt Mickey and Wulfgar Duck>
>> >> Never fear, Salvatore is near. They won't be gone long.
>> >
>> >I'm sure there's a way around it. Too many mineshafts.
>>
>> You'll have assassins out of Renton on your case then. Salvatore is
>> a money machine.
>
>forty sounds like a good age to make it to
That depends on how Spine of the World ends.
>
>> >> >> <The Hunger>
>> >> >I feast at will
>> >>
>> >> Yes, my will.
>> >
>> >and testament
>>
>> Call it the Measure defining allowable consumption.
>
>I don't obey the Measure
Resistance is futile.
>
>> <Concealed weapons>
>> >> Car keys are for gouging eyes, not hitting.
>> >
>> >try wrapping your fist around a Leatherman
>>
>> Unless my assailant is my size, blunt force is rarely to my advantage.
>
>beats hitting 'em bareknuckle
Weapons is best when you're vertically challenged.
>
><what in the name of **** is the signal?>
>> >> ;-)
>> >
>> >excuse me while I contemplate this Desert Eagle .44 autoloader.
>>
>> You'll miss the signal if you do that.
>
>maybe I'll just make my own
Only you'll understand it then.
>
>> >> <Boss ordered staff to be gentlemen, or else>
>> >show footage of the boss at toll booths
>>
>> Never thought of that. He would have probably done it, too.
>
>how many tries does it take to get the coin in?
Many of my colleagues live in Jersey, so they're practiced at it. One
flip usually does it.
>
>> >> <Current boss inspires fear and likes it>
>> >okay. Sean never pulls his knife unless he plans to kill something.
>>
>> He wouldn't get past her doorman.
>
>no problem. If she's got shadows or a shiny thing (uncertain which)
>physical barriers are irrelevant. And remember, he's a rat, complete
>with a poison-drippin' dagger appropriate to his size.
She might just hire him instead. I hear she's very annoyed at her Phoenix
counterpart.
>
>> >> >> No. I'm just being a pest.
>> >> >
>> >> >good. Say 'hi' to my .22.
>> >>
>> >> Say 'bye' to Spike.
>> >
>> >so what? Wrong continent anyway.
>>
>> Spike means that little to you? Shame on you.
>
>admittedly Bunsen was the last to bite me...
Spike has seniority. How fickle.
>
>> >> ><ouchy sling>
>> >humans preferred
>>
>> Funny, that's Bunsen's sentiment exactly.
>
>we've trained him out of that. I'd probably better walk him as I
>haven't all week...
Of course you have. That's why he only nibbles now.
>
<Essays should not be open book tests>
I liked essays on the spot. It's a better way to prove you know something
than rote recitation.
>
>> <Bunsen rates Rohan slightly ahead of a La Trobe burger>
><Bunsen's been to La Trobe?>
>> You think Spike's the only one who knows how to sneak out of the house?
>
>Bunsen doesn't know how to drive (Spike gets a couple of other cats -
>one handles the pedals, the other the brake, lever and radio)
Bunsen and Spike are Australia's answer to Thelma and Louise. They're
in it together.
Good luck this weekend and have fun.