Share and enjoy ! (the message)
AlbSig
world.
Share and enjoy !
FUNNY SIGNS AND NOTICES:
In a Tokio Hotel: It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you
are not a person to such things please not to read notis.
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit
up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing
floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a
number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by
national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a hotel in former Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with
pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
porter.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of
the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used
for this purpose.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to
Russia, you are welcome to it.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water
served here.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them
in all directions.
In a Norwegian coctail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children
in the bar.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking
- Here speeching American.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
'Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room,
please control yourself'.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope
for.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend
courteous, efficient self-service.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
shape since the contractors have thrown in a bulk of theyr workers.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our
black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men
and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each
other for that purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the
latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: 'Would you like to ride your
own ass ?'
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their
own skin.
B.S.
If anyone knows from which book this is probably taken, please tell me.
================================================
"Beware of whores who say they dont want money !
THE HELL THEY DONT, what they mean is that they
WANT MORE MONEY, MUCH MORE. In fact those are
the most expensive whores" William S. Burroughs.
================================================
Albert Svan Sigurdsson; Sigur...@KATK.Helsinki.Fi
Department of Geography at The University of Helsinki.
as...@aurora.alaska.edu
> If anyone knows from which book this is probably taken, please tell me.
>
I'm not sure if I remember all of them from this book, but I remember
seeing some in a book I picked up in England years ago...something about
Mistaikes (sic). Don't know for sure, tho...
Woodstock
Rich 'mcmxciibo' Holmes
English. A decade or so ago Subway (the fast food outlet) was having a
sweepstakes and they promoted it with a poster that said:
WE ARE GIVING AWAY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF FREE VACATIONS
TO OUR CUSTOMERS WHILE THEY LAST!
--
- Rich "mcmxciibo" Holmes
The first person to say something on this Net doesn't have a chance
(and it is usually me). -- John_-_Winston
Unknown
southern Florida, when I saw a small shop with the following sign (though
in much larger letters):
B E E R
W O R M S
Yum!