ping ziggy1 et al

[doS]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone
rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him,
'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong
way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately,
their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to
play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and
said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a
long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought And
thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to
know?'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing
home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and
say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair..
Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex...' He sat silently for
a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could
barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came
to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on
through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be
losing it. I could have sworn we just went Through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and
the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the
passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was
really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they
went on through. So, She turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred,
did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You
could have killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her
car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her
situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering
wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried.. The
dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

[Frank]

you�re rerelasing jokes, ey? ;-)

bye

frank

[Ziggy.1]

A Drunk driver was Racing down the motorway @ 120 MPH with the police in hot
pursuit.
30 miles down the motorway the police Managed to stop him.

Why the fuck did you not stop when you heard Our sirens etc asked the
policeman ?????

I'm Very Sorry replied the the drunk. But my wife had ran away with a
policeman 6 months ago.

What The Fuck That Got To Do with anything asked The Policeman ?????.
Drunk . I though you were bringing her back
HAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR

"Frank" <xtc3...@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:hs201p$pid$1...@newsreader5.netcologne.de...

[Ziggy.1]

Two guy's rob a local bank at gun point and held the customers hostage.
one hostage grabs the one of the robbers mask and pulls it of and tell the
robber he is fucked as he has seen his face.
the robber shoots the guy dead
and asked the other hostages if they seen his face ???? Not a word Out of
any of them ???
But a small voice in the Background said.
The Mexican in the Corner seen you.

HAAAARRRRRRRR

"Frank" <xtc3...@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:hs201p$pid$1...@newsreader5.netcologne.de...

[Frank]

want some election jokes! haaaaarrrrrrrrrr

bye

frank

[Ziggy.1]

Two rat's in a sewer and one rat said to the other ????? Do you know
something I'm fed up With all this shit all day long. And his pal replied
Don't worry about it we can go on the piss tonight.

HAAAAARRRRRRRR

"Frank" <xtc3...@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:hs201p$pid$1...@newsreader5.netcologne.de...

[Ziggy.1]

Here is one to try on your wife or girlfriend.

Three women are sitting by a pool side and they each have a ice-cream each.
One woman is licking her ice-cream.
One woman is Chewing Her ice-cream
And one woman is biting her ice-cream.

Which one is the married woman ??????????

Watch The Wife's / Girlfriends Face On This One.

Answer The One With The Wedding Ring Is The Married Woman

HAAAAARRRRRRRR

"doS" <kob...@hotnotmail.com> wrote in message
news:k1EEn.274090$Ye4.1...@newsfe11.iad...

[doS]

repackaged too!!! ;-)

"Frank" <xtc3...@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:hs201p$pid$1...@newsreader5.netcologne.de...