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Worst Christmas songs

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Tim Robinson

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Dec 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/17/99
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OK, these are bad:

"What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a comb)"
"R2D2, We wish you a Merry Christmas"
"Suzy Snowflake"

But I think I found one worse:
"Chrissy the Christmas Mouse"

Anyone got a candidate worse than those?

--
Tim Robinson
timt...@ionet.net
"Faster, better, cheaper -- pick any two" - Old Engineering Proverb

Tim Robinson

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Dec 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/17/99
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Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message
news:seric-17129...@109.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...
> In article <385cc41c....@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, rad...@bigfoot.commm
wrote:
>
> > I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell
> you why.
> > I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
>
> I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it. And I
> think this discussion shoould confine itself to the standards.

Not even Mannheim Steamroller, huh?

Bob Blaylock

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Dec 17, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/17/99
to
Tim Robinson wrote:
>
> OK, these are bad:
>
> "What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a comb)"
> "R2D2, We wish you a Merry Christmas"
> "Suzy Snowflake"
>
> But I think I found one worse:
> "Chrissy the Christmas Mouse"
>
> Anyone got a candidate worse than those?

Nope. But there is one that I generally regard as one of the more
pleasant ones to hear, except when a particular bit of wording hits me
as not making as much sense as it should. The song, titled, "Do You
Hear What I Hear?", has a passage which goes, "A child, a child, shivers
in the cold./Let us bring him silver and gold./Let us bring him silver
and gold." I Can't hear these words, and not think how foolish it seems
to give silver and gold to a baby who would be much better able to
appreciate a nice warm wool blanket than cold metal.

--
I hunt down and kill spammers and similar net-vermin. Do not send
any form of advertising, bulk email, chain letters, or similar
garbage to me, unless you wish to be my next prey.
Web Site: http://www.impulse.net/~thebob
Email: bob-blayl...@usa.net
To email me, remove ".nospam" from the address.

Eric Boyd

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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In article <385cc41c....@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, rad...@bigfoot.commm wrote:

> I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell
you why.
> I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.

I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it. And I
think this discussion shoould confine itself to the standards.


-seric

--

"There is nothing it is like to be a zombie."
-David Chalmers

Beckett209

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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>"Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
wrote in:
>Message-id: <83eeod$bbs$1...@ionews.ionet.net>

>Anyone got a candidate worse than those?

"Mambo, Santa, Mambo" (ACK!!!!!!)

And my nomination for BEST Christmas song:"Mr. Grinch"... A classic to
those in MY age group, anyway.
Favorite lyric: "You're a sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic
sauce"...
Beckett


Max C. Webster III

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
"Tim Robinson" quipped:

>Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote

>rad...@bigfoot.commm
>wrote:
>>
>> > I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell
>> you why.
>> > I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
>>
>> I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it. And I
>> think this discussion shoould confine itself to the standards.
>

>Not even Mannheim Steamroller, huh?

I, too, dislike The Little Drummer Boy when it is sung. There are, however, at
least two instrumental versions that I like. One is the afore mentioned
Mannheim Steamroller version (Fresh Aire Christmas). The other is Alex
Lifeson's barely recognizable version on Merry Axemas.

On the other hand, my favorite Christmas song is, and always shall be, O Holy
Night. That song can bring tears to my eyes (as long is it isn't being sung by
Eric Cartman).


- Max -
========================================
Max said to them, "Come and have breakfast."
None of them ventured to question him, "Who are
you?" knowing that it was Max. -- Max 21:12

PixiePotPie

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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tim robinson wrote:
>OK, these are bad:
>
>"What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a comb)"
>"R2D2, We wish you a Merry Christmas"
<snip>

oh! i am deeply hurt by these choices, as i JUST DISCOVERED those two
treasures and the rest of the "christmas in the stars" album the other day ( a
co-worker brought it in, and i promptly alienated everyone by pressing "repeat"
all day long) and fell madly in love. and i don't even like star wars all that
much!
how can anyone disagree with the notion of gifting a wookiee with love &
understanding & good will to men, all wrapped up in bright colored ribbon!
and what icy hearted soul wouldn't be touched by the deep-feeling 18-year-old
soloist jon bon jovi on the r2d2 song????
i just ordered this from amazon.com & am eagerly awaiting its arrival. my poor
fiancee does not know what he's in for!


~*pixiepotpie*~
---------------------------------------------------
"yeah, it's that whole merriment thing.
i don't mind comin' out the pocket for
some merriment." -------d deleon
--------------------------------------------------

Arenarop

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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'Little Drummer Boy', absolutely. That tops the list of my least favorite Xmas
songs. And at second place would be 'Do You Hear What I Hear?'. They seem to
go together.

As for my favorite I would have to choose 'Winter Wonderland'. But what
exactly do these lines mean? "In the meadow we could build a snowman...And
pretend that he is Parson Brown...He'll say, "Are you married?" We'll say no,
man...but you could do the job when you're in town." A friend of mine thinks
it's something about pre-marital sex but I'm sure he's joking.

I also like 'I Saw My Baby Wearing Santa's Beard' by They Might Be Giants.

aren...@aol.commie

"...consider yourself in court."
- J. M.

D.F. Manno

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
In article <83eeod$bbs$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
wrote:

> OK, these are bad:
>
> "What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a comb)"
> "R2D2, We wish you a Merry Christmas"

> "Suzy Snowflake"
>
> But I think I found one worse:
> "Chrissy the Christmas Mouse"
>

> Anyone got a candidate worse than those?

"Jingle Bells" by the Singing Dogs. Just hearing a few "bars" of it is
sufficient to drive me to kill.
--
D.F. Manno
domm...@netscape.net
"If we didn't laugh we would all go insane." -- Jimmy Buffett

Seanette Blaylock

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
I'm amazed by what rad...@bigfoot.commm wrote:

>I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell you why.
>I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.

I like that one, actually.

I absolutely LOATHE "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree".

--
Seanette Blaylock
Reply to sean...@spammers.drop.dead.impulse.net
[make obvious correction]

deepstblu

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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Seanette Blaylock wrote:
>
> I'm amazed by what rad...@bigfoot.commm wrote:
>
> >I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell you why.
> >I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
>
> I like that one, actually.
>
> I absolutely LOATHE "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree".
I like both of the above.
But there is some damn thing that Andy Williams recorded that is just so
damn phony-perky and obnoxious that turns up on every music system...I
don't even know the title, it goes something like "It's the holiday
season ("the holiday season!)/so whoop-de-doo/and dickery-dock/and don't
forget/to hang up your sock/cause just exactly/at 12 o'clock/he'll be
comin' down the chimney nowww!"
It belongs in one of Letterman's rejected Jeopardy! categories:
Things You Just Want To Pound and Pound With a Shovel. I hope the
lyricist choked to death on a candy cane.

Rick B.

Gary S. Callison

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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Max C. Webster III (maxx...@aol.com.nospam) wrote:
: On the other hand, my favorite Christmas song is, and always shall be,

: O Holy Night. That song can bring tears to my eyes (as long is it
: isn't being sung by Eric Cartman).

That Cartman version is just _rich_. I can also heartily recommend
"Christmastime in Hell" by Satan, and my new all-time favorite Chrismas
song, "Merry Fucking Christmas" by Mr. Garrison. If the relatives make me
get out the guitar again this year, not only are we doing the Mojo Nixon
version of Good King Wenceslas, but I'm going to have memorized all of
the lyrics to Merry Fucking Chrismas, as well as provide lyric sheets to
those select few relatives who'll sing it with me.

On the other hand, I don't care for Mr. Hankey one bit. Dancing turd
jokes just don't do it for me. Huey's bathroom humor guide: Farts -
funny. Turds - not funny.

Jesus and Santa Claus's lounge act was pretty good, though. And Shelly's
"On Christmas Day" is also kinda cool, but speaking as someone who's
actually had to help _lift_ a piano, I don't think I could actually hit
someone over the head with one...

--
Huey


Steve Parker

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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On Sat, 18 Dec 1999 02:36:49 -0600, Sophelyn <soph...@fzbzet.zet>
wrote:

>At Claus.com there is a song called "Christmas Mary" or "Mary
>Christmas" with a strange shockwave accompaniment that is really
>horrible. So horrible that it won't leave my head.

I am agast.

It's far worse than you said.

I had to go look and now it's stuck in MY head. The title, btw, is
"Sugarplum Mary Christmas". Except for one verse about how Sugarplum
Mary is Santa's elven Kung-Fu cook, the lyrics consist of repeating
"Sugarplum, Sugarplum Mary" over and over. This may be worse than the
doggy version of "Jingle Bells" AND "Grandma Got Run Over...r"
combined. The URL is below, but be warned, the tune is insidious.
http://www.claus.com/singalong/flash_sugarplum.shtml . There're two
other songs that're just forgettable.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid

Steve

Dana Carpender

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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Tim Robinson wrote:

> Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message
> news:seric-17129...@109.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...

> > In article <385cc41c....@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, rad...@bigfoot.commm


> wrote:
> >
> > > I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell
> > you why.
> > > I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
> >

> > I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it. And I
> > think this discussion shoould confine itself to the standards.
>
> Not even Mannheim Steamroller, huh?

I'm not a big fan of Little Drummer Boy myself, but moving on, I asked my
husband what Christmas song he could do without, and he nominated anything
unbearable perky, with "Sleigh Ride" taking top honors.
--
Dana W. Carpender
Author, How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet -- And Lost Forty Pounds!
http://www.holdthetoast.com
Check out our FREE Low Carb Ezine!

Tom Nawrocki

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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>Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message
>news:seric-17129...@109.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...
>> In article <385cc41c....@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, rad...@bigfoot.commm
>wrote:
>>
>> > I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell
>> you why.
>> > I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
>>
>> I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it. And I
>> think this discussion shoould confine itself to the standards.
>
>Not even Mannheim Steamroller, huh?

If we can nominate specific versionsof songs, I have to say that the Mannheim
Steamroller version of "Carol of the Bells" is the silliest thing I've ever
heard.

I don't exactly hate it; I just listen to it in shock that anyone could think
this was good. I wonder who was sitting around thinking that what "Carol of the
Bells" really needed to spiff it up was some electronic-drum solos tucked into
the verses.

Tom Nawrocki


Tim Robinson

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to

Max C. Webster III <maxx...@aol.com.nospam> wrote in message
news:19991217233155...@ng-cg1.aol.com...

> "Tim Robinson" quipped:
>
> >Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote
> >rad...@bigfoot.commm
> >wrote:
> >>
> >> > I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly
tell
> >> you why.
> >> > I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
> >>
> >> I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it. And I
> >> think this discussion shoould confine itself to the standards.
> >
> >Not even Mannheim Steamroller, huh?
>
> I, too, dislike The Little Drummer Boy when it is sung. There are,
however, at
> least two instrumental versions that I like. One is the afore mentioned
> Mannheim Steamroller version (Fresh Aire Christmas). The other is Alex
> Lifeson's barely recognizable version on Merry Axemas.

The shame here is that I missed that one. A real shame for a one-time big
Rush fan.

> On the other hand, my favorite Christmas song is, and always shall be, O
Holy
> Night. That song can bring tears to my eyes (as long is it isn't being
sung by
> Eric Cartman).

That's a great one to watch the singer figure out where to breathe.

KGename

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
>Anyone got a candidate worse than those?

I can't tell you WHY, but any standard Christmas carol in which "Bethlehem" is
pronounced "Beth-LEE-hem", or "Israel" is pronounced "Is-RYE-el" just grates my
nerves.
Why did they do this?
Who in Hell gave the writers of those songs the right to change common
pronunciations, anyway? Or have WE been wrong all the time in OUR
pronunciation, and it's too tuff to change at this late date?

Learning to live with it, anyway-
Keith
When I need a break from my hectic life,
I think back of the vacations that I spent right
outside of the boundaries of the Bermuda Triangle...
and the lazy hours I whiled away tossing
paper airplanes into infinity...

Paul Madarasz

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
On Sat, 18 Dec 1999 02:13:08 -0800, Seanette Blaylock
<seanette.spam...@impulse.net> wrote:

>I'm amazed by what rad...@bigfoot.commm wrote:
>
>>I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell you why.
>>I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
>

>I like that one, actually.
>
>I absolutely LOATHE "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree".

I just heard "Santa got a DUI" on Click and Clack's show.
Heartwarming.

Paul L. Madarasz

Lalbert1

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
In article <dommanno-181...@client-151-197-120-92.bellatlantic.net>,
domm...@netscape.net (D.F. Manno) writes:

>In article <83eeod$bbs$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
>wrote:
>
>> OK, these are bad:
>>
>> "What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a comb)"
>> "R2D2, We wish you a Merry Christmas"
>> "Suzy Snowflake"
>>
>> But I think I found one worse:
>> "Chrissy the Christmas Mouse"
>>

>> Anyone got a candidate worse than those?
>

>"Jingle Bells" by the Singing Dogs. Just hearing a few "bars" of it is
>sufficient to drive me to kill.

Yes, the Singing Dogs are awful. But worse are the singing chipmonks doing
Christmas songs.

Les


fastrada

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Gary S. Callison wrote:
>
> Max C. Webster III (maxx...@aol.com.nospam) wrote:
> : On the other hand, my favorite Christmas song is, and always shall be,

> : O Holy Night. That song can bring tears to my eyes (as long is it
> : isn't being sung by Eric Cartman).
>
> That Cartman version is just _rich_. I can also heartily recommend
> "Christmastime in Hell" by Satan, and my new all-time favorite Chrismas
> song, "Merry Fucking Christmas" by Mr. Garrison. If the relatives make me
> get out the guitar again this year, not only are we doing the Mojo Nixon
> version of Good King Wenceslas, but I'm going to have memorized all of
> the lyrics to Merry Fucking Chrismas, as well as provide lyric sheets to
> those select few relatives who'll sing it with me.
>
> On the other hand, I don't care for Mr. Hankey one bit. Dancing turd
> jokes just don't do it for me. Huey's bathroom humor guide: Farts -
> funny. Turds - not funny.
>

On the other hand, "I'm Just A Lonely Jew (On Christmas)" is a classic.
Parker and Stone are completely underestimated as lyricists in their own
particular way.

Regards,
Joseph

Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
On Fri, 17 Dec 1999 16:53:46 -0600, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
wrote:

>Anyone got a candidate worse than those?

Not really bad, but open to interpretation:

"What fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight". Hmmm... a song
about killing people?

Cheers,
Philip "sleighing" Newton
--
Philip Newton <nospam...@gmx.li>

Amy Elizabeth Gleason

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to

"D.F. Manno" wrote:
>
> "Jingle Bells" by the Singing Dogs. Just hearing a few "bars" of it is
> sufficient to drive me to kill.

But it's REALLY fun to do when caroling... Makes the neighbors think
that you've had a little too much eggnog, and drives the neighborhood
dogs insane...

That's why I get to wear the "Naughty" sweatshirt,
Amy

Eric Boyd

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
In article <83f0lc$eml$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
wrote:

> Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message
> news:seric-17129...@109.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...
> > In article <385cc41c....@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, rad...@bigfoot.commm


> wrote:
> >
> > > I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell
> > you why.
> > > I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
> >

> > I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it. And I
> > think this discussion shoould confine itself to the standards.
>
> Not even Mannheim Steamroller, huh?

Nope, it's why they put "skip" on the CD player. Plus, neonates cry when
you play the drums. What kind of present is that? And did they even have
drummer boys back then? I know that Greek armies marched to flutes.

Bill Baldwin

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
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Sophelyn wrote:
>Well, if the Big-K in Bethlehem was open 24 hours, they could use the
>silver and gold to get blankets and pillows and little stuffed
>animals. Maybe also bribe the innkeeper to let them upgrade their
>room. Maybe it was so cold that they'd rather hurl some coins out
>than come out from under their own blankets?

The gold, frankincense, and myrrh are symbolic. They recall similar gifts
brought from the east to Solomon, the son of David, by the Queen of Sheba. Now
that David's true son, the king of the Jews who will sit on David's royal
throne forever has arrived, there are again emissaries from afar bringing
gifts that befit royalty.

>Is there anything in the Bible to indicate that Jesus was born at
>night?

The announcement by the angels to the shepherds nearby was made at night,
presumably coinciding with the birth itself.

>I don't know at what point the wise men started following a
>star and whether it took them right to the door or not. (And even if
>so, maybe Jesus was born in the daytime and the star couldn't be seen
>until night?)

The wise men arrived some time after the birth. By that time Mary and Joseph
were no longer in the stable but had upgraded to a house (or, more likely, a
room in one).

Seanette Blaylock

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
I'm amazed by what Paul Madarasz <pl...@primenet.com> wrote:
>On Sat, 18 Dec 1999 02:13:08 -0800, Seanette Blaylock
><seanette.spam...@impulse.net> wrote:
>>I'm amazed by what rad...@bigfoot.commm wrote:
>>>I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell you why.
>>>I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
>>I like that one, actually.
>>I absolutely LOATHE "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree".
>I just heard "Santa got a DUI" on Click and Clack's show.
>Heartwarming.

That sounds good. My favorite Christmas album is "Tales from the
Crypt", if that gives you any idea about my sense of humor. :-)

My favorite pieces on that one are "Deck the Halls with Parts of
Charlie" and "We Wish You'd Bury the Missus".

Rob Novak

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
> It belongs in one of Letterman's rejected Jeopardy! categories:
> Things You Just Want To Pound and Pound With a Shovel. I hope the
> lyricist choked to death on a candy cane.

There are two Xmas tunes that deserve the death penalty. Ironically,
both are by former Beatles. First, there's the "simply having a
wonderful xmas time" tune with Mr. McCartney, which is merely trite and
annoying.

Then there's Mr. Lennon with Satan's Personal Fuck-Banshe. Every time I
here Yoko shriek "Have a Merry, Merry Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas and a
HAPPY NEW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAARRR", my teeth grind.

Nevertheless, the radio stations insist on playing it to death every
year. That, and for some reason, "I Believe in Father Christmas" by
ELP - which is a song about how modern-day Christmas is all a lie,
something we've made bereft of any true meaning. It's a touch ironic
that I hear it played over and over while passing by the Yuppie Supply
Stores.

Seanette Blaylock

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
I'm amazed by what Amy Elizabeth Gleason <glea...@purdue.edu> wrote:
>"D.F. Manno" wrote:
>> "Jingle Bells" by the Singing Dogs. Just hearing a few "bars" of it is
>> sufficient to drive me to kill.
>But it's REALLY fun to do when caroling... Makes the neighbors think
>that you've had a little too much eggnog, and drives the neighborhood
>dogs insane...

I have the Jingle Cats tapes. They drive my cat up the walls. It's
hilarious watching him prowling around looking for those &#%$
intruders. :-)

Gary S. Callison

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Rob Novak (rob....@home.com) wrote:
: Nevertheless, the radio stations insist on playing it to death every

: year. That, and for some reason, "I Believe in Father Christmas" by
: ELP - which is a song about how modern-day Christmas is all a lie,
: something we've made bereft of any true meaning. It's a touch ironic
: that I hear it played over and over while passing by the Yuppie Supply
: Stores.
Why, of course! It's a very pretty song, musically. Who listens to the
words? ;-) "The Christmas you get, you deserve..."

Which Jethro Tull offering contains "The Christmas Spirit is not what you
drink." ? "This is Only a Christmas Song", or something along those
lines...

--
Huey


Theresa Ann Wymer

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Rob Novak (rob....@home.com) wrote:

: There are two Xmas tunes that deserve the death penalty. Ironically,


: both are by former Beatles. First, there's the "simply having a
: wonderful xmas time" tune with Mr. McCartney, which is merely trite and
: annoying.

"The...choir...of...chillll-drun sing their song/They...prac...tice...ALL
YEAR LOOOONG/Ding dong ding dong!"

God, I hate that one. Nails down a blackboard, and how did anyone keep
from shooting the little buggers if they were chanting "ding dong ding
dong" the previous 364 days? Any jury worth its salt would let them off
with a round of applause.

I would also nominate any already annoying song that drives you over the
edge with an overly-cloying arrangement and/or performance.

"Oh, wow! Here are the reindeer! It's Dancer and Dasher and [etc etc].
But where's Rudolph? RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDOLPH!" and segue into..."Jingle
Bells", with ""Miss Fanny Bright" rewritten to "my Mr. Right". Pukola.

And, just on general principles, the song that goes "I wanna see Santa
Claus, the real real Santa" over and *over* and OVER again.

I guess it beats out the Cranberries singing "Frosty the Snowman" with an
irritating little hiccup.

BTW, I work in retail. This is my fifth Chris...erm, holiday season, and
I *can't* *get* *away* from these songs, which are on a perpetual loop.

--
Theresa Ann Wymer twy...@efn.org


Tim Robinson

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
PixiePotPie <pixie...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991218022635...@ng-fq1.aol.com...

> tim robinson wrote:
> >OK, these are bad:
> >
> >"What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a comb)"
> >"R2D2, We wish you a Merry Christmas"
> <snip>
>
> oh! i am deeply hurt by these choices, as i JUST DISCOVERED those two
> treasures and the rest of the "christmas in the stars" album the other day
( a
> co-worker brought it in, and i promptly alienated everyone by pressing
"repeat"
> all day long) and fell madly in love. and i don't even like star wars all
that
> much!
> how can anyone disagree with the notion of gifting a wookiee with love &
> understanding & good will to men, all wrapped up in bright colored ribbon!

Let's rephrase your rhetorical question: "how can anyone disagree with the
notion of gifting the fantastic creation of George Lucas... etc." Ugh, barf
me out, gag me with an ewok. :-)

Tim Robinson

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Arenarop <aren...@aol.commie> wrote in message
news:19991218022908...@ng-fb1.aol.com...

> 'Little Drummer Boy', absolutely. That tops the list of my least favorite
Xmas
> songs. And at second place would be 'Do You Hear What I Hear?'. They
seem to
> go together.
>
> As for my favorite I would have to choose 'Winter Wonderland'. But what
> exactly do these lines mean? "In the meadow we could build a
snowman...And
> pretend that he is Parson Brown...He'll say, "Are you married?" We'll say
no,
> man...but you could do the job when you're in town." A friend of mine
thinks
> it's something about pre-marital sex but I'm sure he's joking.

My wife gets upset when I start singing my own obscene version of "____ing
in a winter wonderland." Ah, well, no accounting for taste.

And for those wanting something totally irreverant, the following is ROT13
encrypted because the contents may be considered rude and obscene by many.
Decode at your own risk.

Gur Avtug Orsber Frkznf

Gjnf gur avtug orsber Frkznf, naq Tbq vg jnf arng,
Gur xvqf jrer obgu tbar, naq zl jvsr jnf va urng.
Gur qbbef jrer nyy obygrq, naq gur cubar bss gur ubbx,
Vg jnf gvzr sbe fbzr abbxl, ol ubbx be ol pebbx.
Zbzzn va ure grqql, naq V va gur ahqr,
Unq whfg uvg gur orqebbz naq ernpurq sbe gur yhor.
Jura bhg ba gur ynja gurer nebfr fhpu n pel,
Gung V ybfg zl obare naq cbbe zbzzn jrag qel.
Hc gb gur jvaqbj V fcenat yvxr na rys,
Gber onpx gur funqr juvyr fur cynlrq jvgu urefrys.
Gur zbba ba gur perfg bs gur fabjzna jr'q ohvyg,
Fubjrq n oebbz hc uvf nff, pyrna hc gb gur uvyg.
Jura jung gb zl jbaqrevat rlrf fubhyq nccrne,
Ohg n ehfgl byq fyrvtu naq rvtug znatl ervaqrre.
Jvgu n sng yvggyr qevire unys bhg bs uvf fyrq,
N fbpx va uvf rne, naq n oen ba uvf urnq.
Fher nf V'z fcrnxvat, ur jnf nf uvtu nf n xvgr,
Naq ur lryyrq gb uvf grnz, ohg vg qvqa'g fbhaq evtug.
Jubn Fuvgurnq, jubn Nffubyr, jubn Fghcvq, jubn Chgm,
Rvgure fybj qbja guvf evt be V'yy phg bss lbhe ahgf.
Ybbx bhg sbe gur ynzc cbfg, naq qba'g uvg gur gerr,
Dhvg funxvat gur fyrvtu, 'pnhfr V tbggn tb crr.
Gurl pyrnerq gur byq ynzc cbfg, gur gerr tbg n eho,
Whfg nf Fnagn yrnarq bhg naq guerj hc ba zl fueho.
Naq gura sebz gur ebbs jr urneq fhpu n pynggre,
Nf rnpu yvggyr ervaqrre abj rzcgvrq uvf oynqqre.
V jnf qbaavat zl wnpxrg gb pbire zl nff,
Jura qbja gur puvzarl Fnagn pnzr jvgu n penfu.
Uvf fhvg jnf nyy fzryyl jvgu creshzr tnyber,
Ur ybbxrq yvxr n ohz naq ur fzryyrq yvxr n juber.
"Gung jnf fbzr oebgury," ur fnvq jvgu n fzvyr,
"Gur ervaqrre ner cbbcrq, naq V'yy whfg fgnl urer njuvyr."
Ur jnyxrq gb gur xvgpura, uvzfrys cbherq n qevax,
Gura juvccrq bhg uvf crpxre naq cvffrq va gur fvax.
V fgnegrq gb ynhtu, zl jvsr fzvyrq jvgu tyrr,
Gur byq obl jnf uhat arneyl qbja gb uvf xarr.
Onpx va gur qra, Fnagn ernpurq va uvf fnpx,
Ohg uvf gblf jrer nyy tbar, naq fbzr arj guvatf jrer cnpxrq.
Gur svefg guvat ur sbhaq jnf n cnve bs snyfr gvgf,
Gur arkg jnf n unaqtha jvgu n cravf gung fcvgf.
N obk svyyrq jvgu pbaqbzf jnf Fnagn'f arkg svaq,
Naq n fvk cnpx bs cnagvrf, gur rqvoyr xvaq.
N oen jvgubhg avccyrf, n cravf rkgrafvba,
Naq frireny bgure guvatf gung V fubhyqa'g rira zragvba.
N Pbpx evat, n T-fgevat, naq nyy glcrf bs bvy,
N qvyqb fb ybat, vg ynl va n pbvy.
"Guvf fghss nva'g sbe xvqf, Zef. Fnagn jvyy fuvg.
Fb V'yy yrnir 'rz urer, naq gura V'yy whfg fcyvg."
Ur svyyrq rirel fgbpxvat naq gura gbbx uvf yrnir,
Jvgu bar gval ohgg cyht ghpxrq haqre uvf fyrrir.
Ur fcenat gb uvf fyrvtu, ohg uvf srrg jrer yvxr yrnq,
Guhf ur sryy ba uvf nff naq oebxr jvaq vafgrnq.
Va gvzr ur jnf frngrq, gbbx gur ervtaf bs uvf uvgpu,
Fnlvat, "Gnxr zr ubzr Ehqbycu, guvf avtugf orra n OVGPU!"
Gur fyrvtu jnf arne tbar jura jr urneq Fnagn fubhg,
"Gur orfg guvat nobhg frk vf gung vg arire jrnef bhg!"

Tim Robinson

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Lalbert1 <lalb...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991218125457...@nso-ce.aol.com...

> In article
<dommanno-181...@client-151-197-120-92.bellatlantic.net>,
> domm...@netscape.net (D.F. Manno) writes:
>
> >In article <83eeod$bbs$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson"
<bo...@see.sig>
> >wrote:
> >
> >> OK, these are bad:
> >>
> >> "What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas (when he already owns a
comb)"
> >> "R2D2, We wish you a Merry Christmas"
> >> "Suzy Snowflake"
> >>
> >> But I think I found one worse:
> >> "Chrissy the Christmas Mouse"
> >>
> >> Anyone got a candidate worse than those?
> >
> >"Jingle Bells" by the Singing Dogs. Just hearing a few "bars" of it is
> >sufficient to drive me to kill.
>
> Yes, the Singing Dogs are awful. But worse are the singing chipmonks
doing
> Christmas songs.

As a gag for a Christmas program, three of us musicians dressed up in
turtlenecks with S, A and T on them and had huge helium balloons and sang
the Chipmunk Christmas song sucking helium the whole time. It was a riot.

mlo...@lobo.civetsystems.com

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
se...@hypercon.com (Eric Boyd) writes:

> In article <385cc41c....@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, rad...@bigfoot.commm wrote:
>
> > I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly tell
> you why.
> > I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of it.
>

> I second this nomination. Even Bowie and Bing couldn't rescue it.

I *loved* that version. You watch it and ask yourself, "Am I
hallucinating?"

M.

Bill Baldwin

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Sophelyn wrote:
>This has made me think of something (which is surprising, as I am near
>enough to sleep to smell the performance fleece). Which Christian
>religions other than Jehovah's Witnesses frown upon giving gifts to
>loved ones at Christmas?

Scottish Presbyterians tend to think the whole festival is an idolatrous
holdover from the Roman Catholic calendar.

>Are there any Christian religions which teach that heaven offers a
>breakfust buffet as well as a spiritual one?

I doubt it. That would be to misunderstand the resurrection body.

Bear

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Sophelyn wrote:

>
> Bill Baldwin wrote:
>
> > The gold, frankincense, and myrrh are symbolic. They recall similar gifts
> > brought from the east to Solomon, the son of David, by the Queen of Sheba. Now
> > that David's true son, the king of the Jews who will sit on David's royal
> > throne forever has arrived, there are again emissaries from afar bringing
> > gifts that befit royalty.
>
> Aha. So, no actual prezzies?

Whaddaya want? They hadn't invented Christmas wrap, yet.

--
Bear

Warning: this post may contain peanut traces.

James Gifford

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
rad...@bigfoot.commm wrote:
> I've always hated "The Little Drummer Boy", and I couldn't exactly
> tell you why. I don't care who sings it. I can't stand the sound of
> it.

I would have agreed with you completely until the other night. Went to
the chillun's Xmas program and about halfway through, one of the grades
sang this song. I was irritably shifting around on the pew and thought,
"My ass has gone numb."

The thought was perfectly in sync with the chorus (ta rum pa pa tum).
The rest of the song came through to me as the my-ass-has-gone-numb song
and I had full-faucet hysterics for the next five minutes.

Fortunately, the audience ambient was high, the lights were low, and no
one noticed except my wife.

--

| James Gifford - Nitrosyncretic Press - gif...@nitrosyncretic.com |
| See http://www.nitrosyncretic.com for the Robert Heinlein FAQ |
| and information on "Robert A. Heinlein: A Reader's Companion" |

Lars Eighner

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to

In our last episode <8htcOI+L6mclKQ...@4ax.com>,
the lovely and talented Sophelyn <soph...@fzbzet.zet>
broadcast on alt.fan.cecil-adams:
|DE-SPAMIFIC...@bigfoot.com wrote:
|
|> Mary:
|> "Oh, I'll take the gold. Oh, all right, I'll take the frankincense. Uhh, you
|> keep the myrrh ..."
|
|or as Mandy said:
|"Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And
|thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too
|much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you.
|Good-bye. Well, weren't they nice?"

I thought they'd never leave.

--
Lars Eighner 700 Hearn #101 Austin TX 78703 eig...@io.com
(512) 474-1920 (FAX answers 6th ring) http://www.io.com/%7Eeighner/
bookstore: http://www.io.com/%7Eeighner/bookstore/
Attack another's rights and you destroy your own

DW

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Someone nominated a version of "Carol of the Bells" by a certain
pretentious instrumental synth group.
My nomination is Carol of the Bells, period, no matter how it's set or in
which language it's sung. It's not a song, it's a nervous tic! DEE diddy
dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum
DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE
diddy dum until you want to take a blowtorch to an artificial Christmas
tree and run through a crowded shopping mall wreaking flaming havoc and
destruction.

You have a merry Christmas, too!

DW
ludwi...@earthlink.net


Bill Baldwin

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Jeff Janes wrote:
>Bill Baldwin wrote:
>
>: The wise men arrived some time after the birth. By that time Mary and

>:Joseph were no longer in the stable but had upgraded to a house (or, more
>:likely, a room in one).
>
>Where exactly "from the East" did the wise men come? The next village down
>the road? Jordan? India? China? The Easternmost point of the United States?

You think I know how east is east enough? Whadda I look like? RM Mentock?
Prolly came from Persia or some place where astrology was big.

Bill Baldwin

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Dec 18, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/18/99
to
Hank Gillette wrote:
>Bill Baldwin wrote:
>
>>The wise men arrived some time after the birth. By that time Mary and Joseph
>>were no longer in the stable but had upgraded to a house (or, more likely, a
>>room in one).
>
>How do you know that? I know that Herod queried the Magi and killed all
>boys two and under, but there's no reason why God couldn't have made the
>star appear two years before Christ (which would actually be 8-6 B.C.).

Sure. That's not the point at tissue. The point is that Matthew 2:11 says they
were in a house, suggesting an upgrade from stableville had taken place.

Jeff Janes

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
Bill Baldwin (ju...@micronet.net) wrote:

: The wise men arrived some time after the birth. By that time Mary and Joseph
: were no longer in the stable but had upgraded to a house (or, more likely, a
: room in one).

Where exactly "from the East" did the wise men come? The next village down


the road? Jordan? India? China? The Easternmost point of the United States?

Jeff

--
Jeff Janes
email: ja...@scripps.edu

BlueORB

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to

>Has anyone got any worse candidates
>
>
No one mentioned Tiny Tim's " Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS this Year "

Supposedly this was before AIDS got to be the epidemic it turned out to be .
He claimed later he regretted recording it .

Doug Kile

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
In article <385BB60A...@kiva.net>, Dana Carpender <dcar...@kiva.net> wrote:

>I'm not a big fan of Little Drummer Boy myself, but moving on, I asked my
>husband what Christmas song he could do without, and he nominated anything
>unbearable perky, with "Sleigh Ride" taking top honors.

Sleigh Ride is a winter song, not a Christmas song. There is not one word
in it even remotely related to Christmas. In fact, there is a line which
makes it clear that it cannot be about Christmas time:

"There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Grey."

Everyone knows that birthdays get ignored when they're close to Christmas.

Other non-Christmas songs commonly associated with Christmas:

Jingle Bells
Winter Wonderland
Marshmallow World
Let It Snow(3X)
Frosty the Snowman
Baby It's Cold Outside
We Need a Little Christmas
(Song basically says "It's not Christmas, but I wish it were.")

Tom E.

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
Speaking of a winter song which is associated with Christmas, I can't stand the bland
"Happy Holidays" sung by Steve and Edie.

Doug Kile wrote in message <0VX64.1856$QU1....@newsfeed.slurp.net>...
:Other non-Christmas songs commonly associated with Christmas:

Tom E.

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
A parson is a preacher, and they're asking him to officiate the wedding ceremony. Get
your mind out of the gutter! :-P

Arenarop wrote in message <19991218022908...@ng-fb1.aol.com>...

Carl Fink

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
On 19 Dec 1999 00:46:36 GMT Jeff Janes <ja...@FIX.TIN.DOMAIN> wrote:
>
>Where exactly "from the East" did the wise men come? The next village down
>the road? Jordan? India? China? The Easternmost point of the United States?

If memory serves, Persia.
--
Carl Fink ca...@dm.net
I-Con's Science and Technology Guest of Honor in 2000 will be Geoffrey
A. Landis. See <http://www.iconsf.org> for I-Con information.

Hank Gillette

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
In article <83gn8...@news2.newsguy.com>, "Bill Baldwin"
<BillB...@micronet.net> wrote:

>The wise men arrived some time after the birth. By that time Mary and Joseph
>were no longer in the stable but had upgraded to a house (or, more likely, a
>room in one).

How do you know that? I know that Herod queried the Magi and killed all


boys two and under, but there's no reason why God couldn't have made the
star appear two years before Christ (which would actually be 8-6 B.C.).

--
Hank Gillette

David Samuel Barr

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton wrote:

>
> On Fri, 17 Dec 1999 16:53:46 -0600, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
> wrote:
>
> >Anyone got a candidate worse than those?
>
> Not really bad, but open to interpretation:
>
> "What fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight". Hmmm... a
> song about killing people?

That's the BtVS version, of course.

Gary S. Callison

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
DW (ludwi...@mail.earthlink.net) wrote:
: Someone nominated a version of "Carol of the Bells" by a certain

You should check out the "Carol Of The Bells, M'kay?" version. Note: you
may have to listen to it a couple times before you realize how artfully
they've wedged the "M'kay"s into the lyrics. I didn't care for his song in
the movie, but this song was an excellent showcase for his character.

--
Huey
Character? OK, maybe that's a little much. "Line Drawing" then.


Seanette Blaylock

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to

Or it took them as long as two years to FIND Christ once He was born.
;-)

Steve Kraus

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
On a related topic there was a song which I thought
would surely become a standard but never quite made
it and that is "Christmas Dream." It's an Andrew
Lloyd Webber/Tim Rice tune that was on the soundtrack
of (of all things) "The Odessa File" (1974) and Perry
Como made the charts with it but that was about it.
It's a nice song; give it a listen if you can find it.

http://i.am/cinerama

RM Mentock

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
Bill Baldwin wrote:
>
> Jeff Janes wrote:

> >Where exactly "from the East" did the wise men come? The next village down
> >the road? Jordan? India? China? The Easternmost point of the United States?
>

> You think I know how east is east enough? Whadda I look like? RM Mentock?
> Prolly came from Persia or some place where astrology was big.

I'm going to accept that as a compliment. Of course.

There's an article in today's Sunday paper about an
amateur astronomer who has apparently pinpointed an
astrological/astronomical event that is associated
with the star of bethlehem.

--
RM Mentock

The war on ignorance begins with me
http://sentient.home.mindspring.com/dan/

Jose (JRDelirio) Diaz

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to

Bill Baldwin wrote in message <83hvp...@news2.newsguy.com>...
>Hank Gillette wrote:

>>Bill Baldwin wrote:
>>
>>>The wise men arrived some time after the birth. By that time Mary and
Joseph
>>>were no longer in the stable but had upgraded to a house
>>
And Hank asked

>>How do you know that? I know that Herod queried the Magi and killed all
>>boys two and under, but there's no reason why God couldn't have made the
>>star appear two years before Christ (which would actually be 8-6 B.C.).
>
And it just so happens Bill does have a reference

>Sure. That's not the point at tissue. The point is that Matthew 2:11 says
they
>were in a house, suggesting an upgrade from stableville had taken place.

You wouldn't believe the amount of people, even of nominally Bible-reading
Christians, for whom that is "news". To them *all* the Christmas sequence
happens mangerside. (There being nothing in the text that places the timing
of the Magi/Herod passages in Matthew in any temporal relation with that of
the Nativity passages in Luke, except logical deduction that some things
could not have happened before others)


BTW, The calendar of holidays for the RCC places the Slaughter of the
Innocent on 28 December, which makes it look as if Herod waited a whole
*year* to realize he'd been had, if you follow the traditional assignment of
the Magi's arrival to Epiphany Day (Jan 6), 12 days after the Nativity.

Greg Goss

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
aren...@aol.commie (Arenarop) wrote:

>As for my favorite I would have to choose 'Winter Wonderland'. But what
>exactly do these lines mean? "In the meadow we could build a snowman...And
>pretend that he is Parson Brown...He'll say, "Are you married?" We'll say no,
>man...but you could do the job when you're in town." A friend of mine thinks
>it's something about pre-marital sex but I'm sure he's joking.

I think so. My wife disagrees with me. Since Wendy is always right
this means that you must be.

"Let's get that snowman over there to marry us."
"Cool. Then what'll we do?"

Seanette Blaylock

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Dec 19, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/19/99
to
I'm amazed by what RM Mentock <men...@mindspring.com> wrote:

>There's an article in today's Sunday paper about an
>amateur astronomer who has apparently pinpointed an
>astrological/astronomical event that is associated
>with the star of bethlehem.

I don't think that showed up in my paper. Got a[n?] URL for that?

Rich Clancey

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Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
How about the one with

Later on we'll perspire
As we sit by the fire

--

-- rich clancey
Stars twinkle above,
We twinkle below.
r...@world.std.com rcla...@massart.edu

Barbara

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Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
>> Yes, the Singing Dogs are awful. But worse are the singing chipmonks
>doing
>> Christmas songs.
>

I'd take singing dogs or chipmunks any day over smug rock stars with egos the
size of Wal-Marts lamenting the fact that African kiddies are not only starving
to death, they don't live near shopping malls.

"and they won't have snow in Africa this Christmas".........AARGGHHHHHHH.

Helloo..........it's freakin' SUMMER in Africa...and while you're at it,yu
might want to think about the fact that these African kiddies don't have
houses or clothes or food before you go wishing SNOW on them......why not wish
them a Christmas flood or earthquake while you're at it? And a whole lot of
them don't celebrate Christmas anyway.....
Barbara -

"Oh Night Divine...."
"The night when I get presents"

Gary S. Callison

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Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
Rich Clancey (r...@world.std.com) wrote:
: How about the one with
: Later on we'll perspire
: As we sit by the fire

That'd be "Walking 'Round In Women's Underwear", another novelty gem.

--
Huey


Gary S. Callison

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Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
Seanette Blaylock (seanette.spam...@impulse.net) wrote:
: I'm amazed by what hankgi...@bigfoot.com (Hank Gillette) wrote:

: ><BillB...@micronet.net> wrote:
: >>The wise men arrived some time after the birth. By that time Mary and
: >>Joseph were no longer in the stable but had upgraded to a house (or,

: >>more likely, a room in one).
: >How do you know that? I know that Herod queried the Magi and killed

: >all boys two and under, but there's no reason why God couldn't have
: >made the star appear two years before Christ (which would actually be
: >8-6 B.C.).
: Or it took them as long as two years to FIND Christ once He was born.

'Course not. You think I'm gonna get down off this camel and ask one of
*these* yokels where the stable is? Just keep moving, You Bastard...

--
Huey
(The camel never minded these tirades, as he was busy working on the
three-body equation...)

Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton

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Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
On Sun, 19 Dec 1999 18:22:45 -0400, "Jose (JRDelirio) Diaz"
<JRDeli...@worldnet.removetorepy.att.net> wrote:

>You wouldn't believe the amount of people, even of nominally Bible-reading
>Christians, for whom that is "news". To them *all* the Christmas sequence
>happens mangerside.

People here in Germany often have Christmas crčches (I think that's what
they're called in English): little model barns with a little figures
(usually carved out of wood) in fron of them. And they usually have a
couple of shepherds, some angels, *and* some Magi. <sigh>.

BTW, the Bible doesn't say how many Magi/kings/wise men/etc. there were.
The number of gifts is three, the number of people might be 2, 3, 12, or
pretty much any number as far as the surviving record tells us.

Cheers,
Philip
--
Philip Newton <nospam...@gmx.li>

RM Mentock

unread,
Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
Seanette Blaylock wrote:
>
> I'm amazed by what RM Mentock <men...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>
> >There's an article in today's Sunday paper about an
> >amateur astronomer who has apparently pinpointed an
> >astrological/astronomical event that is associated
> >with the star of bethlehem.
>
> I don't think that showed up in my paper. Got a[n?] URL for that?

What showed up in my paper was the Molnar story,
which apparently has appeared in Sky and Telescope

http://www.naplesnews.com/today/religion/d407269a.htm

But there are others

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/issue/991220/star.htm
http://www.ottawacitizen.com/national/991219/3319294.html
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/today/dec18/Features/star.ncml

Margaret Kane

unread,
Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to

DW wrote:

> Someone nominated a version of "Carol of the Bells" by a certain
> pretentious instrumental synth group.
> My nomination is Carol of the Bells, period, no matter how it's set or in
> which language it's sung. It's not a song, it's a nervous tic! DEE diddy
> dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum
> DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE
> diddy dum until you want to take a blowtorch to an artificial Christmas
> tree and run through a crowded shopping mall wreaking flaming havoc and
> destruction.
>

> You have a merry Christmas, too!
>
> DW
> ludwi...@earthlink.net

except, of course, for the Sweeney Sisters' version, which really puts the
right spin on it.


Margaret Kane

unread,
Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
What ticks me off is how someone apparently co-opted "My Favorite
Things" as a Christmas song. Perfectly nice Rodgers and Hammerstein
piece taken over by the man.

Margaret


Rich Clancey

unread,
Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
DW (ludwi...@mail.earthlink.net) wrote:
+ Someone nominated a version of "Carol of the Bells" by a certain
+ pretentious instrumental synth group.
+ My nomination is Carol of the Bells, period, no matter how it's set or in
+ which language it's sung. It's not a song, it's a nervous tic! DEE diddy
+ dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum
+ DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE
+ diddy dum until you want to take a blowtorch to an artificial Christmas
+ tree and run through a crowded shopping mall wreaking flaming havoc and
+ destruction.

+ You have a merry Christmas, too!

This is supposedly from a Ukranian folk song, though I know
the original of the phrase from one of the late String Quartets of
Beetho ven. Beethoven does not attempt to hit you over the head with
repetitions, however.

Suzanne Marie Saunders (LIS)

unread,
Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
In article <19991219223628...@ng-fv1.aol.com>, Barbara wrote:
>I'd take singing dogs or chipmunks any day over smug rock stars with egos the
>size of Wal-Marts lamenting the fact that African kiddies are not only starving
>to death, they don't live near shopping malls.
>"and they won't have snow in Africa this Christmas".........AARGGHHHHHHH.
>Helloo..........it's freakin' SUMMER in Africa...and while you're at it,yu
Nope, the song was about a famine in Ethiopia, which is north of
the equator.

>might want to think about the fact that these African kiddies don't have
>houses or clothes or food before you go wishing SNOW on them......why not wish
>them a Christmas flood or earthquake while you're at it? And a whole lot of
>them don't celebrate Christmas anyway.....

True, but Ethiopia has 35 to 40 percent Coptic Christians,
according to the CIA World Factbook, and it says at
http://pharos.bu.edu/cn/Menu.html that that group does celebrate
Christmas.
(Not that I think the song is any less silly, but just for
different reasons.)
Suzanne


--
Suzanne Marie Saunders * "Whoo! Sensory deprivation kicks ass!"
segn...@crosswinds.net * -- Homer Simpson
http://www.crosswinds.net/~segnbora/


A. Gifford

unread,
Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to

Beethoven does too hit you over the head with repetitions - he's just
better at it. It is a standard Conservatory requirement to analyze just
how many times you see Da da da DUM (with all it's variants) in the
fifth sym. Mvet 1, and it's some ridiculous number. (Beenm a very ;pong
time since I went to school).

Actually, I like that song. The repetitions are better than a basso
continuo and a LOT better than the standard "pop" stuff that seems to be
everywhere - "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", etc. When I played this
stuff professionally that was the stuff I charged extra for.

Audrey

Big David

unread,
Dec 20, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/20/99
to
Philip, since you are obviously a Mormon or a religious scholar living in
Germany, perhaps you could update the teeming millions on the freedom of
religion issues that have arisen there. Is the German Federal Government
cracking down on Mormons the way they have gone after Scientologists? Is
there at least a tolerant atmosphere? I haven't been there in 3 years, and
then only for two weeks, but I remember a great deal of conversation from
my relatives about how we in the U.S. allow all these "kooky religions" and
how we should keep them to ourselves.

Big David
"Commit a little mortal sin. It's good for your soul."
To reply, remove spambait

Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton <nospam...@gmx.li wrote

> People here in Germany often have Christmas crèches (I think that's what

Matthew W. Miller

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
On 18 Dec 1999 16:35:33 GMT, Tom Nawrocki <nawr...@aol.com.not> wrote:
>If we can nominate specific versionsof songs, I have to say that the Mannheim
>Steamroller version of "Carol of the Bells" is the silliest thing I've ever
>heard.
>I don't exactly hate it; I just listen to it in shock that anyone could think
>this was good. I wonder who was sitting around thinking that what "Carol of the
>Bells" really needed to spiff it up was some electronic-drum solos tucked into
>the verses.

That and the bizarre synthesised/Vocoded/something-or-other'd vocals?

--
Matthew W. Miller -- ma...@infinet.com

Matthew W. Miller

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
On 18 Dec 1999 22:02:19 GMT, Theresa Ann Wymer <twy...@garcia.efn.org> wrote:
>Rob Novak (rob....@home.com) wrote:
>: There are two Xmas tunes that deserve the death penalty. Ironically,
>: both are by former Beatles. First, there's the "simply having a
>: wonderful xmas time" tune with Mr. McCartney, which is merely trite and
>: annoying.

[ insults to "Happy Xmas" and the Harlem Community Choir deleted ]

>I would also nominate any already annoying song that drives you over the
>edge with an overly-cloying arrangement and/or performance.

Oh, but I can't help but giggle at the oh-so-earnest performances of
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and other kiddie songs by assorted
ne'er-do-wells. The whole legend built up around Santa is pretty goofball
when you think of it -- here's a guy who rides around from house to house
all over the world (and this has been proven impossible, I know, I know).
In a sleigh. That *flies*. And a horse-drawn sleigh isn't enough, it's
drawn by *reindeer*. *Eight* of 'em. And now this songwriter schlub adds
a *ninth* reindeer with a shiny red nose that acts as a reflector? You
just have to laugh at the mounting absurdity upon absurdity.

>I guess it beats out the Cranberries singing "Frosty the Snowman" with an
>irritating little hiccup.

How about Bob Rivers's "Chimney Song"? ("There's something stuck up in
the CHIMney, and I don't know what it IS...") Some of his songs are
clever, but this one is just agonizing, repeating the 90% the same verse
over and over and over...

Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
On Mon, 20 Dec 1999 23:56:02 -0500, "Big David"
<debo...@spambait.pcbank.net> wrote:

> Philip, since you are obviously a Mormon or a religious scholar living in
>Germany,

I'm a Mormon living in Germany, yes. (Or, preferably, Latter-day Saint.)

Maybe you should have CC'ed me by mail on this, since my newsreader
setup doesn't thread articles with different subject lines under the
parent, and I might not have caught your answer.

>perhaps you could update the teeming millions on the freedom of
>religion issues that have arisen there. Is the German Federal Government
>cracking down on Mormons the way they have gone after Scientologists?

Not that I am aware of. Scientology is a reasonably big thing here; for
example, there was an article in a computer magazine about how MS
Windows 2000 includes a defragmentation tool produced by a company which
is headed by a scientologist, and on the basis of this quite a few
people said this meant they would not even consider getting Win2K. Also,
from what I hear, Bavaria (and Hamburg?) public sector requires people
they do business with to sign a clause saying they don't follow L. Ron
Hubbard's philosophy. Haven't come across any official anti-Mormon
sentiments so far.

>Is there at least a tolerant atmosphere?

As far as I can see, yes. Or, rather, people don't talk about us much;
I'd say not as much as, say, some Indian religions or even Jehovah's
Witnesses. At the moment we're doing a bit more publicity to try to get
people aware of us (free Christmas videos).

>I haven't been there in 3 years, and
>then only for two weeks, but I remember a great deal of conversation from
>my relatives about how we in the U.S. allow all these "kooky religions" and
>how we should keep them to ourselves.

I've heard that, yes. More so in Greece when I was on a mission for the
LDS church there.

Rich Clancey

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
A. Gifford (agif...@bridgesbls.com) wrote:
+ Rich Clancey wrote:
+ >
+ > DW (ludwi...@mail.earthlink.net) wrote:
+ > + Someone nominated a version of "Carol of the Bells" by a certain
+ > + pretentious instrumental synth group.
+ > + My nomination is Carol of the Bells, period, no matter how it's set or in
+ > + which language it's sung. It's not a song, it's a nervous tic! DEE diddy
+ > + dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum
+ > + DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE diddy dum DEE
+ > + diddy dum until you want to take a blowtorch to an artificial Christmas
+ > + tree and run through a crowded shopping mall wreaking flaming havoc and
+ > + destruction.
+ >
+ > + You have a merry Christmas, too!
+ >
+ > This is supposedly from a Ukranian folk song, though I know
+ > the original of the phrase from one of the late String Quartets of
+ > Beetho ven. Beethoven does not attempt to hit you over the head with
+ > repetitions, however.
+ >
+ > --
+ >
+ > -- rich clancey
+ >

+ Beethoven does too hit you over the head with repetitions - he's just
+ better at it. It is a standard Conservatory requirement to analyze just
+ how many times you see Da da da DUM (with all it's variants) in the

Yeah, but I meant in that particular quartet. If you like the
skillfull use of repetition Schubert is your guy.

DW

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
In article <Fn228...@world.std.com>, r...@world.std.com (Rich Clancey) wrote:

>I know


>the original of the phrase from one of the late String Quartets of

Beethoven. Beethoven does not attempt to hit you over the head with
>repetitions, however.

Uh-oh! Little did you know that you were replying to a professional violinist.
You're not talking about the 2nd movement of his Opus 132 in A minor, are
you? That's not quite the same phrase. Maybe the DEE diddy dum comes up in
the finale of that quartet and I don't remember. Would you please
illuminate me??

DW


Tim Robinson

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
DW <ludwi...@mail.earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:ludwigsears-21...@ip131.minneapolis13.mn.pub-ip.psi.net...

What's the difference between a violin and a viola? Nothing at all. The
violins just look smaller because the violinist's heads are bigger. :-)

--
Tim Robinson
timt...@ionet.net
"Faster, better, cheaper -- pick any two" - Old Engineering Proverb


Gary S. Callison

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
Tim Robinson (bo...@see.sig) wrote:
: What's the difference between a violin and a viola? Nothing at all.

: The violins just look smaller because the violinist's heads are bigger.

Naah, that ain't it. The difference between a violin and a viola is that a
violin doesn't burn as good.

--
Huey
Whaddya mean 'bough'? I thought you said _bow_.

Tim Robinson

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
Gary S. Callison <hu...@interaccess.com> wrote in message
news:s5vrlq...@corp.supernews.com...

> Tim Robinson (bo...@see.sig) wrote:
> : What's the difference between a violin and a viola? Nothing at all.
> : The violins just look smaller because the violinist's heads are bigger.
>
> Naah, that ain't it. The difference between a violin and a viola is that a
> violin doesn't burn as good.

I thought you use a burning violin for lighting other violins?

What's the difference between ancient Phoenecian and the alto clef? Some
violinists can actually read ancient Phoenecian. :-)

--
Tim "sight reads any clef" Robinson

StarChaser <Anti spam feature in address.>

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
On Mon, 20 Dec 1999 08:03:15 GMT, nospam...@gmx.li (Philip 'Yes,
that's my address' Newton) wrote:

>On Sun, 19 Dec 1999 18:22:45 -0400, "Jose (JRDelirio) Diaz"
><JRDeli...@worldnet.removetorepy.att.net> wrote:
>
>>You wouldn't believe the amount of people, even of nominally Bible-reading
>>Christians, for whom that is "news". To them *all* the Christmas sequence
>>happens mangerside.
>

>People here in Germany often have Christmas crčches (I think that's what


>they're called in English): little model barns with a little figures
>(usually carved out of wood) in fron of them. And they usually have a
>couple of shepherds, some angels, *and* some Magi. <sigh>.
>
>BTW, the Bible doesn't say how many Magi/kings/wise men/etc. there were.
>The number of gifts is three, the number of people might be 2, 3, 12, or
>pretty much any number as far as the surviving record tells us.

<grins> So there were three gifts and 12 cheap bastards?
--
Visit the Furry Artist InFURmation Page! Contact information,
and information on which artists do and do not want their
work posted!
http://home.icubed.net/starchsr/table.htm

Address munged for the inconvienence of spammers:
My address is starchsr <at> icubed dot net

Opus the Penguin

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
StarChaser wrote:
>Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton) wrote:
>>BTW, the Bible doesn't say how many Magi/kings/wise men/etc. there were.
>>The number of gifts is three, the number of people might be 2, 3, 12, or
>>pretty much any number as far as the surviving record tells us.
>
><grins> So there were three gifts and 12 cheap bastards?

Only 9 cheap ones. And they all leaned over and whispered to Mary, "That
frankincense is from me, too."

StarChaser <Anti spam feature in address.>

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to

<laughs> 3 gifts, three gift givers, and nine cheap bastards.

Tim Robinson

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message
news:seric-22129...@17.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...
> In article <83p87q$bsf$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>

> wrote:
>
> > What's the difference between ancient Phoenecian and the alto clef?
Some
> > violinists can actually read ancient Phoenecian. :-)
>
>
> I played the viola and never read alto clef. I switched from playing bass
> after our violist broke her arm. I just learned to play everything by ear.
> That's how I learned to play guitar. I can't read treble at all.

Gotta be careful with these admissions:

How do you get a guitar player to play quieter? Put music in front of him.

How do you get him to stop playing completely? Put notes on the music.

--
Tim Robinson

Opus the Penguin

unread,
Dec 21, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/21/99
to
Beckett209 wrote:
> You know, that song has been on every single Christmas tape at work for,
>oh... 5 or more years now. I never understood what made it qualify for the
>tape. Do they sing this song at Christmas in the play? Or is it the
"snowflakes
>that land on my nose and eyelashes" and "silver-white winters that melt into
>spring" lines?

Or the "brown paper packages tied up with strings" maybe?
--

Opus the Penguin, former candidate for Vice President

Beckett209

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
>Margaret Kane <mk...@zd.com>
wrote in:
>Message-id: <385E81F2...@zd.com>

>What ticks me off is how someone apparently co-opted "My Favorite
>Things" as a Christmas song. Perfectly nice Rodgers and Hammerstein
>piece taken over by the man.

You know, that song has been on every single Christmas tape at work for,
oh... 5 or more years now. I never understood what made it qualify for the
tape. Do they sing this song at Christmas in the play? Or is it the "snowflakes
that land on my nose and eyelashes" and "silver-white winters that melt into
spring" lines?

Beckett

Bill Kinkaid

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
On Mon, 20 Dec 1999 08:03:15 GMT,nospam...@gmx.li (Philip 'Yes, that's
my address' Newton) just had to tell us that:

>People here in Germany often have Christmas crèches (I think that's what


>they're called in English): little model barns with a little figures
>(usually carved out of wood) in fron of them. And they usually have a
>couple of shepherds, some angels, *and* some Magi. <sigh>.
>

>BTW, the Bible doesn't say how many Magi/kings/wise men/etc. there were.
>The number of gifts is three, the number of people might be 2, 3, 12, or
>pretty much any number as far as the surviving record tells us.
>

What you're supposed to do is wait until Epiphany (Twelfth Night) to put
the Magi in che creche. Of course, when most people these days put up their
tree etc around Rembrance Day and take it down Boxing Day, that's
difficult. Our general convention is to put it up the weekend or second
weekend before Christmas (usually after our church's carol service) and
take it down the weekend after Epiphany.

Bill in Vancouver

too old to be walking around with no shoes,
and too young to be walking around with no teeth

Eric Boyd

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
In article <83p87q$bsf$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
wrote:

> What's the difference between ancient Phoenecian and the alto clef? Some
> violinists can actually read ancient Phoenecian. :-)


I played the viola and never read alto clef. I switched from playing bass
after our violist broke her arm. I just learned to play everything by ear.
That's how I learned to play guitar. I can't read treble at all.


-seric

--

"There is nothing it is like to be a zombie."
-David Chalmers

Eric Boyd

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Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
In article <83pl7r$e7n$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>
wrote:

> Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message

> > I played the viola and never read alto clef. I switched from playing bass


> > after our violist broke her arm. I just learned to play everything by ear.
> > That's how I learned to play guitar. I can't read treble at all.
>

> Gotta be careful with these admissions:

Hey, I can read bass like a charm. And there's no problem not reading
treble, I mostly do Violent Femmes covers. I used to be a VF junkie. I saw
them four times in one year.

Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
On Tue, 21 Dec 1999 17:31:05 -0800, "Opus the Penguin"
<opusthe...@micronet.net> wrote:

>StarChaser wrote:


>>Philip 'Yes, that's my address' Newton) wrote:
>>>BTW, the Bible doesn't say how many Magi/kings/wise men/etc. there were.
>>>The number of gifts is three, the number of people might be 2, 3, 12, or
>>>pretty much any number as far as the surviving record tells us.
>>

>><grins> So there were three gifts and 12 cheap bastards?
>
>Only 9 cheap ones. And they all leaned over and whispered to Mary, "That
>frankincense is from me, too."

More like three _types_ of gifts. But I like Opus's response, too :)

D.F. Manno

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
In article
<ludwigsears-21...@ip131.minneapolis13.mn.pub-ip.psi.net>,
ludwi...@mail.earthlink.net (DW) wrote:

> Uh-oh! Little did you know that you were replying to a professional
violinist.
> You're not talking about the 2nd movement of his Opus 132 in A minor, are
> you? That's not quite the same phrase. Maybe the DEE diddy dum comes up in
> the finale of that quartet and I don't remember. Would you please
> illuminate me??

Gladly. Do you prefer floodlights or just a few strategically placed spotlights?
--
D.F. Manno
domm...@netscape.net
"If we didn't laugh we would all go insane." -- Jimmy Buffett

Colin Rosenthal

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
On Tue, 21 Dec 1999 13:36:12 -0600,
DW <ludwi...@mail.earthlink.net> wrote:
>In article <Fn228...@world.std.com>, r...@world.std.com (Rich Clancey) wrote:
>
>>I know
>>the original of the phrase from one of the late String Quartets of
>Beethoven. Beethoven does not attempt to hit you over the head with
>>repetitions, however.
>
>Uh-oh! Little did you know that you were replying to a professional violinist.
>You're not talking about the 2nd movement of his Opus 132 in A minor, are
>you? That's not quite the same phrase. Maybe the DEE diddy dum comes up in
>the finale of that quartet and I don't remember. Would you please
>illuminate me??

Yeah, well you know the definition of a String Quartet, then? A violinist,
a bad violinist, a failed violinist, and a guy who hates violinists.

--
Colin Rosenthal
Astrophysics Institute
University of Oslo

J. Michael Looney

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
In article <385f91cb....@news.bctel.ca>, kin...@spam.still.sucks.bc.sympatico.ca says...

>
>On Mon, 20 Dec 1999 08:03:15 GMT,nospam...@gmx.li (Philip 'Yes, that's
>my address' Newton) just had to tell us that:
>
>>People here in Germany often have Christmas crčches (I think that's what

>>they're called in English): little model barns with a little figures
>>(usually carved out of wood) in fron of them. And they usually have a
>>couple of shepherds, some angels, *and* some Magi. <sigh>.
>>
>>BTW, the Bible doesn't say how many Magi/kings/wise men/etc. there were.
>>The number of gifts is three, the number of people might be 2, 3, 12, or
>>pretty much any number as far as the surviving record tells us.
>>
>
>What you're supposed to do is wait until Epiphany (Twelfth Night) to put
>the Magi in che creche. Of course, when most people these days put up their
>tree etc around Rembrance Day and take it down Boxing Day, that's
>difficult. Our general convention is to put it up the weekend or second
>weekend before Christmas (usually after our church's carol service) and
>take it down the weekend after Epiphany.


And 12th night is the day you are should give gifts out to non-family as well...

--
Silliness is the last refuge of the doomed P. Opus
Geek Code: GAT d-- s:- a40 UL+++ P++ L+++ E- W+++ N++ K++ w++ O- M- V-- PS+
PE++ Y PGP t++ 5 X R+++ tv+ b++++ DI+++ D G+ e+ h--- r+++ y+++(**)
Bob Code: KPkKtpdh- lWdH ECs-d++ m5 CPEIVW B-18 Ol LS SC+++ T- A7LAT H8o b13 D1


CyberSybar2

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
>Beckett209 wrote:
>>>Margaret Kane wrote:
>>>What ticks me off is how someone apparently co-opted "My Favorite
>>>Things" as a Christmas song. Perfectly nice Rodgers and Hammerstein
>>>piece taken over by the man.
>>
>> You know, that song has been on every single Christmas tape at work
>for,
>>oh... 5 or more years now. I never understood what made it qualify for the
>>tape. Do they sing this song at Christmas in the play? Or is it the
>"snowflakes
>>that land on my nose and eyelashes" and "silver-white winters that melt into
>>spring" lines?
>
>Or the "brown paper packages tied up with strings" maybe?
>--

What's so "Christmasy" about a trip to the butcher shop?

Cyber(Rib Roast and Yorkshire Pudding)sybar

mlo...@lobo.civetsystems.com

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
"Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig> writes:

> Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message

> news:seric-22129...@17.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...
> > In article <83p87q$bsf$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig>


> > wrote:
> >
> > > What's the difference between ancient Phoenecian and the alto clef?
> Some
> > > violinists can actually read ancient Phoenecian. :-)
> >
> >

> > I played the viola and never read alto clef. I switched from playing bass
> > after our violist broke her arm. I just learned to play everything by ear.
> > That's how I learned to play guitar. I can't read treble at all.
>
> Gotta be careful with these admissions:
>

> How do you get a guitar player to play quieter? Put music in front of him.
>
> How do you get him to stop playing completely? Put notes on the music.

What's the difference between a violin and a bunch of grapes? You
take your boots off before stomping on grapes.

What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull? A bull has the
horns in the front and the asshole at the back.

M.

Dana Carpender

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to

Beckett209 wrote:

> >Margaret Kane <mk...@zd.com>
> wrote in:
> >Message-id: <385E81F2...@zd.com>
>

> >What ticks me off is how someone apparently co-opted "My Favorite
> >Things" as a Christmas song. Perfectly nice Rodgers and Hammerstein
> >piece taken over by the man.
>
> You know, that song has been on every single Christmas tape at work for,
> oh... 5 or more years now. I never understood what made it qualify for the
> tape. Do they sing this song at Christmas in the play?

No, they sing it during a thunderstorm. Maria is trying to distract the frightened
children.

> Or is it the "snowflakes
> that land on my nose and eyelashes" and "silver-white winters that melt into
> spring" lines?
>

Or that Christmas is a time when people A) list stuff they want and B) one hopes,
gives at least passing thought to the blessings of life.

But no, it doesn't strike me as a Christmas song either. For that matter, Let It
Snow ain't a Christmas song. It's a winter song.
--
Dana W. Carpender
Author, How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet -- And Lost Forty Pounds!
http://www.holdthetoast.com
Check out our FREE Low Carb Ezine!

Tim Robinson

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Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
Colin Rosenthal <col...@toliman.uio.no> wrote in message
news:83q6ks$n2c$1...@readme.uio.no...

Classified ad: Well established string quartet seeks cellist and
violinists. 555-1212

Tim Robinson

unread,
Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
<mlo...@lobo.civetsystems.com> wrote in message
news:m3d7ryg...@zorro.civet...

How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? Take your hand out of
the beel and play out of tune.

How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? Put your hand in the
bell and play wrong notes.

Who are we missing?

Joseph Yuska

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Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
Tim Robinson wrote:
>
> <mlo...@lobo.civetsystems.com> wrote in message
> news:m3d7ryg...@zorro.civet...
> > "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig> writes:
> >
> > > Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message
> > > news:seric-22129...@17.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...
> > > > In article <83p87q$bsf$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson"
> <bo...@see.sig>
> > > > wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > What's the difference between ancient Phoenecian and the alto clef?
> > > Some
> > > > > violinists can actually read ancient Phoenecian. :-)
<snip>

> How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? Take your hand out of
> the beel and play out of tune.
>
> How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? Put your hand in the
> bell and play wrong notes.
>
> Who are we missing?
>
> --
> Tim Robinson
> timt...@ionet.net
> "Faster, better, cheaper -- pick any two" - Old Engineering Proverb


Haven't seen clarinets.

What's the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up a clarinet.

Joe Yuska

Marie Martinek

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Dec 22, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/22/99
to
In article <385efd48$0$22...@news.voyager.net>, ma...@infinet.com (Matthew W. Miller) wrote:
>On 18 Dec 1999 16:35:33 GMT, Tom Nawrocki <nawr...@aol.com.not> wrote:
>>If we can nominate specific versionsof songs, I have to say that the Mannheim
>>Steamroller version of "Carol of the Bells" is the silliest thing I've ever
>>heard.
>>I don't exactly hate it; I just listen to it in shock that anyone could think
>>this was good. I wonder who was sitting around thinking that what "Carol of
> the
>>Bells" really needed to spiff it up was some electronic-drum solos tucked into
>>the verses.
>
>That and the bizarre synthesised/Vocoded/something-or-other'd vocals?
>
Hey, didn't you know Santa (or maybe Jesus) is a space alien? That's
why you get the flying saucer landing during that cut.

And then there's "Little Drummer Boy", with the Holsteins doing
precision drill team in the background (hey, it's music. You can make
up your own visuals if you want. My husband says the cows are doing
Rockettes kicks)


Marie Martinek
Northwestern University, Evanston, IL. USA
mv-ma...@nwu.edu

Gary S. Callison

unread,
Dec 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/23/99
to
Joseph Yuska (jyu...@bbn.com) wrote:

: Tim Robinson wrote:
: > <mlo...@lobo.civetsystems.com> wrote in message
: > news:m3d7ryg...@zorro.civet...
: > > "Tim Robinson" <bo...@see.sig> writes:
: > > > Eric Boyd <se...@hypercon.com> wrote in message
: > > > news:seric-22129...@17.244.nas1.ippool.hypercon.com...
: > > > > In article <83p87q$bsf$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, "Tim Robinson"
: > > > > > What's the difference between ancient Phoenecian and the alto

: > > > > > clef?
: > > > > > Some violinists can actually read ancient Phoenecian. :-)
: > How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? Take your hand
: > out of the bell and play out of tune.

: > How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? Put your hand
: > in the bell and play wrong notes.
: > Who are we missing?
: Haven't seen clarinets.

: What's the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
: No one cries when you cut up a clarinet.

You also forgot the oboe.

What's the difference between a clarinet and an oboe?

Who cares? Whatever the hell it is, tell him to either tune it or shut up.

--
Huey


Tim Robinson

unread,
Dec 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/23/99
to
Gary S. Callison <hu...@interaccess.com> wrote in message
news:s63ksu...@corp.supernews.com...

Difference between oboe and bassoon? Bassoon burns longer.
Difference between saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato (you can tune a
lawnmower)
Definition of dissonance: two flutes/recorders playing the same note
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

Big Iron5

unread,
Dec 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/23/99
to
Marie Martinek writes:


>Hey, didn't you know Santa (or maybe Jesus) is a space alien?


Naw, it's Jehova-1 who's a space alien. Jesus is just his attorney.

That's
>why you get the flying saucer landing during that cut.


Well, it's sure not a coincidence, eh?

>And then there's "Little Drummer Boy", with the Holsteins doing
>precision drill team in the background (hey, it's music. You can make
>up your own visuals if you want. My husband says the cows are doing
>Rockettes kicks)
>

Those are the ones that talked their way out of being mutilated.

J. Michael Looney

unread,
Dec 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/23/99
to
In article <83sl67$5tg$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, bo...@see.sig says...

>What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless


I need to show you the Geek card game I got. Drummer is classed the same as
"unemployed" in the search for slack...

Great art, done by the same d00d who does "Dork Tower" and "Wild Life".

Scott Wilson

unread,
Dec 23, 1999, 3:00:00 AM12/23/99
to
In article <s64dfk...@news.supernews.com>,

J. Michael Looney <j...@spellbooksoftware.com> wrote:
>In article <83sl67$5tg$1...@ionews.ionet.net>, bo...@see.sig says...
>
>>What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless
>
>
>I need to show you the Geek card game I got. Drummer is classed the same as
>"unemployed" in the search for slack...
>
>Great art, done by the same d00d who does "Dork Tower" and "Wild Life".

Wierd... assuming you are talking about "Chez Geek" by Steve Jackson
games, a friend just introduced me to it.

My friend knows the guy who wrote it, and played the game before Steve
Jackson published it. (Although, of course, there were a number of
differences...)

Apparently there are a number of Hyde Park/Chicago/UofC references,
including the fact that most individuals shown in the game are someone in
reality... including the "Choad warrior".

So is the game any good? I haven't played it yet, but I have looked at
it... and it seems like a great new SJ card game ala Illuminati (not the
CCG of course... that one sucked).

--
Scott Wilson Letting my freak flag fly
swi...@uchicago.edu

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