Why I MISS Art Bell
Mad Nomad
With due respect to George Noory, who fills Art's shoes better than
anyone else so far, but who honestly admits they are outsize, heavy
shoes, I miss Art for these reasons:
WHAT'S IN A NAME? "Art Bell" rings like no other.
And in the same vein -- THE VOICE -- Ah, that voice!
SENSE OF SELF-SUFFICIENCY -- While he thankfully acknowledged the
network personnel who ultimately sent the sounds into the ether, we
knew, regarding the substance of the show, that Art did it all
himself. I admired and envied him for that.
LAME FOUR-HOUR FORMAT -- Even though Art's health reduced him to four
hours at the end, that traditional fifth hour was always like dessert.
I loved when Art asked his guest if he had the starch to go one more
hour. If he didn't, we had Art all to ourselves for a follow-up
critique of the night.
LACK OF ROMANCE -- There will never be a show opening as romantic as
"From the high desert..." Art broadcast from his home, his doublewide
compound, just down the road from Area 51. Perfect! "From the
heartland of America" wasn't bad when George was in St. Louis, but his
recent move was a step down. We all know that angels really don't
live in L.A., because it's just down the road from Hollywood.
DEARTH OF REAL CONTROVERSY -- George Noory needs a baptism by fire
with his very own "Heaven's Gate" flap. Here's wishing a suspicious
comet on you, George!
BUMPER MUSIC -- Art loved the music, even playing D.J. occasionally.
He understood that music contributed to the atmosphere of the show,
instead of being a mindless pause filler bridging show and commercial
break. Recently I heard music after a commercial set that was edited,
looped, dishonest, like Rush Limbaugh's wretched abuse of Chrissie
Hynde's song "My City Was Gone."
NO STUDIO CAM -- Remember the good old days, when we could listen to
the webcast (for free!) and actually see what was going on? At one
point we even had a live motion feed to watch!
CALL SCREENING -- One important example where Art did it himself. The
screening now in place removes all surprises, like the people who had
no idea they had reached the show. I still laugh at the caller who
related what he wanted to ask, assuming he had reached a screener, and
Art told him, "Oh, I can't let you take that to Art -- he's on the
edge right now -- if you take that to Art he's going to lose it!" And
can you imagine J. T. getting through now? I fear we've heard the
last from him.
ART'S IRASCIBILITY -- "Oh, you're calling on a damn cell phone,
aren't you?" Ever notice how Art sometimes lost patience with Richard
C. Hoagland's rambling discourses? And who else would angrily ban
Kreskin from his show forever?
THE ROGUE TOUCH -- Art gushing, "You don't know me, but I love you,"
at Jane Seymour. Crystal Gayle writing a song for him. And that
sultry-voiced lady in California (forget her name) sweet-talking Art
occasionally. I had fun imagining Ramona, in the next room, rolling
her eyes.
Ah, Yes -- RAMONA -- The only time I ever fell in love with someone
else's wife. Oh, I miss Ramona!!
HUMOR -- " 'Mystic Order of the Declawed Jerbil' my butt! . . . THAT'S
what I should have said! Oh, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA..."
THE MYSTIQUE -- As I posted once before in these groups, listening to
Art Bell was like sitting around the campfire, in the middle of
nowhere, listening to spooky stories. Art's voice seemed to flow from
some dark, secret place in the wilderness, and while he was on the air
I lived there, too.
THE THRILLS -- Art returning from the station break, proclaiming
"Thing's are hopping here!! Remember those calls last hour about a
large UFO sighted in the western USA? Now the power has gone off here
in Pahrump! We're on a backup generator...!!!" I found that rather
exciting. Where else can you find that type of entertainment? What
can George look forward to, a race riot?
THE SHEER CUSSEDNESS - Robert A. M. Stephen, David Oates and Ted
Gunderson tossing scorpions into the kettle, and Art serving the
finished stew right back over their own heads.
THE LOST FRIENDSHIP - I never called the show, except in my
imagination. There, I always got through, my contributions were
always valued, and Art was always my buddy.
Miss you, Art
DrPostman
wrote:
>Why I Miss Art Bell
You don't practice your aim well enough.
--
Dr.Postman USPS, MBMC, BsD; "Disgruntled, But Unarmed"
Member,Board of Directors of afa-b, SKEP-TI-CULT® member #15-51506-253.
You can email me at: eckles(at)midsouth.rr.com
"The services provided by Sylvia Browne Corporation are highly
speculative in nature and we do not guarantee that the results
of our work will be satisfactory to a client."
-Sylvia's Refund Policy
E. L.
>Why I MISS Art Bell
>Group: alt.fan.art-bell
>Date: Fri, May 23, 2003, 2:28am
>(EDT+4)
>From: wish...@bellsouth.net
>(Mad Nomad)
>Why I Miss Art Bell
>With due respect to George Noory, who
>fills Art's shoes better than anyone else
>so far, but who honestly admits they are
>outsize, heavy shoes, I miss Art for
>these reasons:
>WHAT'S IN A NAME? "Art Bell" rings like
>no other.
You young, whippersnapping fool! Try "Long" John Nebel. Try Bill
Jenkins. Try William B. Williams.
>And in the same vein -- THE VOICE --
>Ah, that voice!
What happens to you when you hear THE VOICE? Do you get a hard-on?
Company Man
Noory really falls down. Lots of times a guest will say something that just
flies right over Noory's head, resulting in a truly clueless followup. That
never happened to the man in Pahrump.
"Mad Nomad" <wish...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:3ecd8690...@newsgroups.bellsouth.net...
DrPostman
wrote:
>Good reasons all. You failed to mention his quick intellect; this is where
>Noory really falls down. Lots of times a guest will say something that just
>flies right over Noory's head, resulting in a truly clueless followup. That
>never happened to the man in Pahrump.
That's right, a man who believes that spontaneous human combustion is
caused by lighting farts is heads and shoulders above Noory.
tscottme
Mad Nomad <wish...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
news:3ecd8690...@newsgroups.bellsouth.net...
> Why I Miss Art Bell
>
The show was never as good as die hard kooks pretend. Art is a
talentless dork that seemed impressive to feeble-minded twits.
Spread Eagle
> Why I Miss Art Bell
Art's gone so deal with it. Even if he comes back it will not be the
same as it once was. After about mid 1996 he wasn't nearly as good as
he was in 1993-94-95. Much of his enthusiasm and creativity went
away. Plus, the network killed the format and the web component,
another Clear Channel victim.
Jack
> anyone else so far, but who honestly admits they are outsize, heavy
> shoes, I miss Art for these reasons:
>
> "From the high desert..." Art broadcast from his home, his doublewide
> compound, just down the road from Area 51.
yes, "from the high desert..." should take its place next to the
creaking door, the "who know what evil lurks ..." and the William Tell
Overture ("from out of the past come the thundering hoofbeats ...") in
the collection of great radio show openings.
I like your post. Although I never bought into any of the
parageekological crapola that art pandered to, I never saw the show
and the cottage industries that grew up around it as anything but fun:
from the guests, callers, art, the relentless, accurate and dismissive
criticism here on AFAB (and other forums).
there was nothing like the story arcs that art let Hoaxland and Dames
present, always something just about to happen that never quite did,
and occasionally there were memorable shows, like the "crying man" and
the "area 15 overflight", the Willie Nelson interview and the infamous
open mic at Greek Night mistake.
and there was nothing like that disco porn music that art opened the
show with, followed by "from the high desert..." that would put me to
sleep within seconds. except when I was driving through the same
high desert. then the show was a companion for a few hours, until he
closed (as he often did for a while) with "The Highwayman", until that
was replaced by that nazi peruvian gnu age music.
I was a little disappointed when Crystal Gayle ripped off "Midnight at
the Oasis" to write that tune for art, because "Midnight" dropped off
the bumper list after that. but, as the frogs say, c'est la vie.
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
wrote in alt.fan.art-bell:
>Ah, Yes -- RAMONA -- The only time I ever fell in love with someone
>else's wife. Oh, I miss Ramona!!
You can have her long time fi dorrah
--
V.G.
"THis was is easy -------------------- NONE"
"Hawkeye" solves the eternal mystery, in message-ID: <NVpaa.6189$Xo3.9...@news20.bellglobal.com>
(This sig file contains not less than 80% recycled SPAM)
Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
>Good reasons all. You failed to mention his quick intellect;
You apparently haven't read "The Quickening", or you would have doubts
that Art has any intellect at all, much less a quick one.