Re: WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, January 2012

[Sergeant Preston]

On Feb 9, 7:54 am, Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler
<f...@databasix.com> wrote:
> Despite the claims by Emmett "Crappantz ShittyPanties" Gulley that the
> Usenet Kook Awards were banned forever, the time has come to announce
> the results of the January 2012 Usenet Kook Awards.  Down here in Deep
> East Texas we'uns call that a  SPNAK and SMACKDOWN on ShittyPanties.
> Without further ado, Col. Jake start licking my ass clean.
>
> <drumroll>

< SNIP PATHETIC GHAY KRAP !! >

The FNVW has just demonstrated the principle of why a "shit-eating"
dawg will ear shit the rest of its life

by the FNVW starting-up the "Ko0k-aWaRdS" again !!

HOW SAD.............

U have ALL my PITY.....who ever you really are !!

--
The Great One

[Colonel Jake]

On 2/9/2012 5:54 AM, Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
>
> Despite the claims by Emmett "Crappantz ShittyPanties" Gulley that the
> Usenet Kook Awards were banned forever, the time has come to announce
> the results of the January 2012 Usenet Kook Awards. Down here in Deep
> East Texas we'uns call that a SPNAK and SMACKDOWN on ShittyPanties.

> Without further ado, Col. Jake would you please cue The Velvet
> Knights?
>
> <drumroll>
>
> BOBO
> The winner is...ATLAS BUGGED!
> Yes....22
> No......3
>
> KOOK OF THE MONTH
> The winner is...% squiggle teh AssWorm!
> %.....................20
> Atlas Bugged.........5
> none of the above..1
>
> Well done, squiggle! Your Usenet brethren and sistern decided to
> reward you for your 400,000+ posts consisting of "hi" "boner" and
> "yay!
>
> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
> The winners are...JANITHOR and % ! A tie!
> Janithor...............11
> %......................11
> none of the above....0
>
> Congratulations filthy support group trolls! I find it fitting that
> the two of you get to share this award.
>
> COWARD OF THE MONTH
> The winner is... ALIEN!
>
> Alien..................13
> Emmett Gulley........8
> Janithor...............7
> none of the above ..0
>
> Congratulations, anonymous otterfilthing coward! Yer finally gettin'
> the attention you crave, hey? You managed to knock off The Pissbum
> Powerhouse!
>
> LOONEY MAROON AWARD
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
>
> Emmett Gulley..................................15
> Dave "The Doctor"/"The Idiot" Yadallee.....4
> Greg "Greegor Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson...3
> Raymond Karczweski...........................1
> Richard Scovile..................................0
> none of the above..............................0
>
> GOLDEN KILLFILE
> The winners are... Ras Michael Enoch (aka Michael McCarty)!
> Yes..13
> No....2
>
> ...and fasgnadh!
>
> Yes...14
> No.....4
>
> Congratulations!
>
> JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD
> The winner is... EMMETT "SHITTY PANTIES" GULLEY!
> Emmett "Crappantz"Gulley.......16
> MMFC (Mark Morgan Fan Club)...6
> % Squiggle teh AssWorm.........1
> none of the above.................1
>
> Congratulations, Emmett! Just how pathetic does one have to
> be to be twice as pathetic as the pathetic AssWorm and the pathetic
> MMFC?
> (Thanks to PJR for the above bit)
>
> PALMJOB PADDLE
> The winner is... EMMETT "PISSBUM POWERHOUSE" GULLEY!
> Yes...24
> No.....0
>
> Congratulations Emmett on a Palmjob well done. The vote was
> unanimous!
>
> TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
> The winners are...EMMETT GULLEY AND GREG "NEAL WARREN" HALL!
>
> Yes..22
> No....1
>
> Great teamwork, Florida kooks! Is there something in the water in
> Florida? Could it be the fecal matter drifting away from Nellie's
> "yacht"?
>
> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
> Emmett Gulley.......16
> fasgnadh..............5
> none of the above...2
>
> Congratulations, Gulley! Another smashing VICTOLLY for you, but I
> really think you ought to get back with your friends at NOAA and the
> NWS and have them explain humidity to you again.
>
> GEORGE PICKET MEMORIAL TROPHY
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
> Yes...21
> No.....1
>
> You go, Emmett! Perhaps you can recruit Bobbi Sanchez and her bayonet
> to help you to finally defeat your enemies.
>
> GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
> The winner is...FASGNADH!
>
> Yes..17
> No....2
>
> Congratulations, FuzzNuts! You've got those filthy atheists on the
> run! Not.
>
> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
> The winner is...wait for it...EMMETT GULLEY!
>
> Yes...23
> No.....0
>
> Emmy, you have stunk up AUK so completely that Nellie's shit bucket
> smells sweet by comparison.
>
> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
> The winner is...MEOWMIX!<braying of horns from The Velvet Knights>
>
> meowmix.............12
> none of the above...7
> fasgnadh..............6
>
> Ok, rocky, you won an award. Now please to stop whinging about never
> winning an award.
>
> GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
>
> Emmett Gulley.........18
> none of the above.....3
> Ras Michael Enoch ....2
>
> Another SMACKDOWN! for the Pissbum Powerhouse!
>
> 72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
> The winner is...ALT.ATHEISM!
>
> alt.atheism............12
> Ras Michael Enoch.....6
> WeeSaul................3
> none of the above....2
> Mangler.................1
>
> Congratulations, godless heatherns! Another award for your trophy
> case!
>
> BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
>
> Emmett "Pissbum Powerhouse" Gulley......19
> Greg "Greegor Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson...6
> none of the above..............................0
>
> Rock Hard Stupid didn't stand a chance in this matchup. Gulley makes
> Bullis look like a genius.
>
> BALSA GAVEL
> The winner (?) is...ATLAS BUGGED!
> Yes..25
> No....0
>
> BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY, trained by Albatross!
>
> Emmett Gulley, trained by Albatross..............................14
> Greg Hall,trained by Checkmate....................................4
> Kachina, trained by Checkmate, Johnny Dollar, and Fred Hall.4
> none of the above ...................................................1
>
> Congrats, Alby! After a decade of training, emmy now performs on cue.
> If only he could be trained to stop shitting on himself.
>
> DOUGLAS GRANT MEDAL FOR HISTORICAL REVISIONISM
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
>
> Yes...18
> no.....4
>
> Always keep in mind, emmy, that if you don't remember the past you
> will be condemned to repeat it. Sorta like "Groundhog Day."
>
> RICHARD M NIXON "PATHOLOGICAL LIAR" AWARD
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
>
> Yes..26
> No....0
>
> How do we (tinw) know when emmy's lying? When his stubby fingers are
> pecking out pathetic posts.
>
> EMMETT GULLEY OBSESSO AWARD
> The winner is...ALIEN!
>
> By Cabal Executive Order (tinceo) the Emmett Gulley Obsesso award is
> hereby presented to Alien. 500 line Meat Plow and Gary Burnore sigs
> are a sure sign that Alien the Anonymous Coward just ain't right in
> the head.
>
> GLOBAL VILLAGE PUMP
> The winner is...FASGNADH!
>
> fasgnadh............16
> Matthew Moulton...4
>
> Good job, FuzzNutz! There aren't many kooks who could dethrone teh
> Diaperboi.
>
> AUK MASCOT
> The winner is...EMMETT GULLEY!
>
> Emmett Gulley...15
> Bobbi Sanchez....7
>
> What a performance, ShittyPanties! Award after award after award! No
> wonder you were kept locked in the Galactic Killfile!
>
> OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
> No challengers, the incumbent Greg "Neal Warren" Hall will continue to
> serve in this position.
>
> OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
> The winner is...GREG "NEAL WARREN" HALL!
>
> Greg "Neal Warren" Hall.............13
> Greg "Rock Hard Stupid" Hanson...10
>
> Close vote, Nellie! You may not hold this position much longer.
>
> OFFICE OF KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
> The winner and still champ is...AGAMEMNON of rec.arts.drwho!
>
> Agamemnon.............................14
> dsharavi<dsha...@hotmail.com>...2
>
> Sorry, Deb, but I suspect Aggie will hang on to this office until
> Usenet goes the way of the dinosaurs.
>
> MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
> The winners are...THE 4 STOOGES, GULLEY, HALL, %, and JANITHOR!
>
> Emmett Gulley, Greg Hall, % AssWorm, and Janithor...21
> Emmett Gulley, Alexander 'Dink' Cain and Albatross......1
> The Creationist Vigilance Committee (incumbent).........0
>
> Congratulations, Stooges! I'd ask teh Janitor to clean up the dried
> feces in Emmett's Galactic Killfile suite, but it appears he's walked
> off the job to take a position as head of Goathead Janitorial, Inc.
>
> PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE& SINKER
> The winner is...FRED HALL for his "I got NETKKKOPPED at Altopia!"troll
>
> Yes..24
> No....1
>
> HAMMER OF THOR
>
> Checkmate
> Yes...13
> No....10
>
> Albatross
> Yes...14
> No.....6
>
> After discussions with FNVWE's, Fluffy, and the Cabal, it has been
> decided to enforce the rule that the ratio of yes to no votes for this
> award should be 3:1. Therefore, there are no winners of the Hammer of
> Thor for this ballot.
>
> On a more uplifting note, the following ambassadors have been accepted
> from the Empire of Meow:
>
> Knoxy, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary from
> alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.
>
> Neon Kachina, with bells, motley,and an honorary tinfoil tiara.
> Romathian ambassador.
>
> This concludes the results of the January 2012 ballot. Thirty-three
> ballot papers were received, of which twenty-nine were deemed valid.
> One ballot was submitted by someone who apparently got lost on their
> way to talk.bizarre. I have no idea what they thought they were
> voting for.
>
> The Velvet Knights will serenade us as we file out of the Cabal
> Obsidian Order Congregational Hall (tinCOOCH). I'd like to thank
> Fluffy, Bob, The Cabal, and you, dear voters, for making this awards
> ceremony a success.
>

--
<in Honor of Steve Leyland>

Fluffy thanks you for your participation. Meow.


|\ _.-'~~""'~`'~)
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(,_..----''' (,..--''


Meow

COlOnel Jake Enterprises
Presents
"BAM1BAM (audio)" "Velvet Knights!!! (1988)..."
(http://www.coloneljake.com/BAM1BAM/VK1988/)

><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>
¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>

"Thats Entertainment" doo-dah, boom-bomb-bah-bumpy-doo-dah, doo-dah


*thank you Master Pink and in the name of Goddess Kali*

(http://www.coloneljake.com/audios/000A/)

*so be it*

¸,.,¸
:And then some...
`^'^´

Official Alt.Usenet.KoOks der'KoOkshite is Coming soon!
<(http://k00kpedia.Net)>

[Sergeant Preston]

On Feb 10, 12:11 am, K. A. Cannon <k.can...@tsbbearings.net> wrote:
>
> I am a HoT winner....so that should mean something.
> --
> K. A. Cannon

It does....It means that you are a Ko0K !!

Enjoying financial ruin ??
--
Your Pal,
Honest John

[the messenjah]

Fred Hall.
>
> --
> The Great One

[Sergeant Preston]

On Feb 10, 6:57 pm, This account has been banned because it violated
the Google Groups Terms Of Use <inva...@not-for-mail.invalid> wrote:
> Dishonest John Edward Kook AKA Sergeant Preston <Sgt.Pres...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Enjoying financial ruin ??
>
> Are you?
>
> --
> K.A. Hall

Why yes......very much !!
--
HJ

p.s. Still obese ??

[K. A. Cannon]

On Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:50:52 -0800 (PST), Sergeant Preston
<Sgt.P...@hotmail.com> wrote:

>On Feb 10, 12:11 am, K. A. Cannon <k.can...@tsbbearings.net> wrote:
>>
>> I am a HoT winner....so that should mean something.
>> --
>> K. A. Cannon
>
>It does....It means that you are a Ko0K !!
>
>Enjoying financial ruin ??

Are you speaking from experience Mr. Multiple Bankruptcies?

There is no financial ruin for me....A company uses bankruptcy as a
tool. You use bankruptcy as a way to weasel out of paying legitimate
debts.
TSB is still in Business.

How many bankruptcies have you had Johnnie Boi?
I have never had to file personal bankruptcy like you have.

You are a very funny hypocrite.

--
K. A. Cannon
kevin dot a dot cannon at gmail dot com

"Striving everyday to be the person my dog thinks I am."

Seo sláinte an tséitéara, an ghadaí, an trodaí, agus an óltóra!
Má dhéanann tu séitéireacht, go ndéana tú séitéireacht ar an mbás,
Má ghoideann tú, go ngoide tú croí mná;
Má throideann tú, go dtroide tú i leith do bhráthar,
Agus má ólann tú, go n-óla tú liom féin.

[K. A. Cannon]

On Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:57:46 +0000 (UTC), This account has been banned

because it violated the Google Groups Terms Of Use

<inv...@not-for-mail.invalid> wrote:

>Dishonest John Edward Kook AKA Sergeant Preston <Sgt.P...@hotmail.com>
>wrote:
>
>> Enjoying financial ruin ??
>
>Are you?
>
>http://epaper.ardemgaz.com/webchannel/ShowStory.asp?Path=ArDemocrat/2011/03/14&ID=Ar02200
>
>Bankruptcy watch
>
>ATKINS

lulz.

[the messenjah]

On Feb 10, 10:42 pm, K. A. Cannon <k.can...@tsbbearings.net> wrote:
> On Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:50:52 -0800 (PST), Sergeant Preston
>

> <Sgt.Pres...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >On Feb 10, 12:11 am, K. A. Cannon <k.can...@tsbbearings.net> wrote:
>
> >> I am a HoT winner....so that should mean something.
> >> --
> >> K. A. Cannon
>
> >It does....It means that you are a Ko0K !!
>
> >Enjoying financial ruin ??
>
> Are you speaking from experience Mr. Multiple Bankruptcies?
>
> There is no financial ruin for me....A company uses bankruptcy as a
> tool. You use bankruptcy as a way to weasel out of paying legitimate
> debts.
> TSB is still in Business.
>
> How many bankruptcies have you had Johnnie Boi?
> I have never had to file personal bankruptcy like you have.
>
> You are a very funny hypocrite.

Cannon. You're a fuckhead.

[The Demon of Mockery]

Hail Eris! On Feb 22, 5:37 am, Chuckles Lyingsack wrote:
> On Feb 10, 10:42 pm, K. A. Cannon wrote:

> > On Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:50:52 -0800 (PST), Sergeant Preston wrote:
> > >On Feb 10, 12:11 am, K. A. Cannon wrote:
>
> > >> I am a HoT winner....so that should mean something.
> > >> --
> > >> K. A. Cannon
>
> > >It does....It means that you are a Ko0K !!
>
> > >Enjoying financial ruin ??
>
> > Are you speaking from experience Mr. Multiple Bankruptcies?
>
> > There is no financial ruin for me....A company uses bankruptcy as a
> > tool. You use bankruptcy as a way to weasel out of paying legitimate
> > debts.
> > TSB is still in Business.
>
> > How many bankruptcies have you had Johnnie Boi?
> > I have never had to file personal bankruptcy like you have.
>
> > You are a very funny hypocrite.
>

> Cannon. I'm a fuckhead.

Corrected your poast in the Name of TRVTH on Usenet for you, Chuckles.

Snarky