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Are you qualified to be a Gollin?

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Stempel@forums.militaryforums.com Herb Stempel

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Jul 19, 2005, 5:36:05 PM7/19/05
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Do you have what it takes to be a Gollin?

A Gollin is an elite intellectual giant. A Gollin has a special moral
imperative that neutralizes its own hypocrisy. As a Gollin you will
employ your unique ethical sensibilities in combination with your
unbounded cerebral powers to identify and destroy your inferiors.

Take this simple quiz and learn whether you are fit to join the ranks
of the powerful, the privileged and the intellectual elite.

A friend hands you a chocolate vagina-shaped confection she purchased
at the sex fair. You should
a) Laugh and hand it back
b) Eat it
c) Bring it home for mom

Lee Harvey Oswald could assassinate JFK because he was highly skilled
in the use of a
a) Periscope
b) Proctoscope
c) Microscope

It's Ash Wednesday. You should
a) Consider it an opportunity to appreciate religious diversity
b) Ignore it, you're Jewish
c) Discuss the dirty papists with mom

Mom offers you a spring roll. You should
a) Determine if it's kosher
b) Not talk with your mouth full
c) Discuss phallic symbolism with mom

There is police activity at the building where your mom works. You
should
a) State your worry for mom's safety
b) Express concern about the welfare of the people in the building
c) Ask mom if she smelled bacon when the cops arrived

Grandma and Donald are in the basement. This is the perfect time to
a) Repair condom keychain
b) Wash lipstick stains from clothes
c) Play the suck my dick fuck my ass song for dad

People are making fun of you and your weird family on public internet
forums. You should
a) Ignore it
b) Deny false statements, if any
c) Get John Weaver-Hudson and Michael Dean Benton to defend you

Someone challenges your assertions on a public internet forum. You
should
a) Ignore it
b) Provide the source of your information, if any
c) First ask if they are challenging your credibility; then if they
persist just say that you don't care to reveal that information.

ANSWER KEY: If you are truly a Gollin you already know all the
answers, and don't need an answer key or any quiz to verify your moral
and intellectual superiority.
_________________________________________________________^M
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MichaelDBenton

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Jul 19, 2005, 6:33:46 PM7/19/05
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Hey, This test is a MILL!!! I let my pet pigeon select the answers and
I STILL PASSED with 26%. I KNOW this because of course I KNOW all
answers to everything just like guy-pal George. I am really mad now and
of course this experiement qualifies me to be a slueth and government
official. I will call Al right now! What is the number of that farm???

Guest

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Jul 19, 2005, 8:26:32 PM7/19/05
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Call big al--he has a direct line to the farm. George has the info too.

Douglas@forums.militaryforums.com Rich Douglas

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Jul 20, 2005, 5:07:53 PM7/20/05
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Fuck Gollin, I want to be Bear. Have you got a test for that?

Rich Douglas, PhD

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