Marty Is To Deficient To Critique *MY* Work...But This Is Not A Shared Deficiency
Onideus Mad Hatter
I uh, noticed ya posted one of yer lil projects:
http://www.horseshoeboy.com/jonahsquids.html
*snicker*
...that was a BAD idea on yer part, Kiddo.
Now, here's the trick...I'm not gonna be like you and just tell you
that it sucks...I'm gonna rip your entire site apart piece by fucking
piece and hammer you the fuck into the wall with one of the most
scathing critiques you will ever have the displeasure of
experiencing...you'll be better for it though in the long run, you
dribbling little poser bitch.
Let's start on the code...oh me, oh my, well right off the bat yer
using TABLES FOR CONTENT LAYOUT...tsch, tsch, tsch...that technique is
about a decade out of date. It also doesn't make any sense in that
you're already using some half assed spaghetti bitched CSS code, so
why not take it all the way? Well, unless you haven't the skill. `, )
Let's see, what else...oh you're using embedded CSS rather than
external style sheets which would work a lot better and would cut out
a lot of the redundancy you've got between pages...of course if you
were REALLY professional you would be able to create a fully dynamic
site with no more than a SINGLE page.
You're doing a lot of stupid shit too like this:
: <param name="quality" value="high" />
Um, fucking hello, reality calling retard, retard come in, high is the
DEFAULT SETTING, so there's no point in putting that line of code,
FURTHER, if you're going to actually alter the quality of the SWF it
should be done WITHIN THE SWF FILE ITSELF.
It should also be noted that you can't even make use of "best" quality
via teh HTML code, it MUST be done in the flash file via nyah:
: this.quality = best;
Okay, let's move on to your flash st00f and graphics. `, )
*checks*
...holy fuck d00d. I mean...good gawd.
Okay uh...rather than even take the bother to go through this point by
fucking point (which would take HOURS because there is *SO MUCH* wrong
with it all), let me just end your stupidity in the most direct way
possible:
http://www.backwater-productions.net/_images/_Usenet/Martin_Is_A_Retard/
BOOM!
Your version: 1 MEGABYTE in total site size.
My version: 176 kilobytes in total site size.
Your code for that first page is 4.2 Kilobytes, I chopped it down to
2.86 Kilobytes by losing your deficient, antediluvian table molested
layout for a completely CSS driven one..
LOL...and to think your stupid ass was tryin to yammer the fuck on
about *MY* sites loading slow.
That my friend is the difference between an AMATEUR, POSER CLASS,
WANNABE like yourself and a PROFESSIONAL LIKE ME.
Bottom line is...you have *NO* fucking clue as to what you're even
doing. I guess we all know now why you didn't want to show anyone
your work before...it's cause you didn't want to get exposed for the
FRAUD that you are...LOL...trying to pass yourself off as a
professional with SHIT GRADE work like this:
http://www.horseshoeboy.com/jonahsquids.html
...yer a fuckin joke man...and not a very good one either.
--
Onideus Mad Hatter
mhm ą x ą
http://www.backwater-productions.net
http://www.backwater-productions.net/hatter-blog
Hatter Quotes
-------------
"You're only one of the best if you're striving to become one of the
best."
"I didn't make reality, Sunshine, I just verbally bitch slapped you
with it."
"I'm not a professional, I'm an artist."
"Your Usenet blinders are my best friend."
"Usenet Filters - Learn to shut yourself the fuck up!"
"Drugs killed Jesus you know...oh wait, no, that was the Jews, my
bad."
"There are clingy things in the grass...burrs 'n such...mmmm..."
"The more I learn the more I'm killing my idols."
"Is it wrong to incur and then use the hate ridden, vengeful stupidity
of complete strangers in random Usenet froups to further my art?"
"Freedom is only a concept, like race it's merely a social construct
that doesn't really exist outside of your ability to convince others
of its relevancy."
"Next time slow up a lil, then maybe you won't jump the gun and start
creamin yer panties before it's time to pop the champagne proper."
"Reality is directly proportionate to how creative you are."
"People are pretty fucking high on themselves if they think that
they're just born with a soul. *snicker*...yeah, like they're just
givin em out for free."
"Quible, quible said the Hare. Quite a lot of quibling...everywhere.
So the Hare took a long stare and decided at best, to leave the rest,
to their merry little mess."
"There's a difference between 'bad' and 'so earth shatteringly
horrible it makes the angels scream in terror as they violently rip
their heads off, their blood spraying into the faces of a thousand
sweet innocent horrified children, who will forever have the terrible
images burned into their tiny little minds'."
"How sad that you're such a poor judge of style that you can't even
properly gauge the artistic worth of your own efforts."
"Those who record history are those who control history."
"I am the living embodiment of hell itself in all its tormentive rage,
endless suffering, unfathomable pain and unending horror...but you
don't get sent to me...I come for you."
"Ideally in a fight I'd want a BGM-109A with a W80 250 kiloton
tactical thermonuclear fusion based war head."
"Tell me, would you describe yourself more as a process or a
function?"
"Apparently this group has got the market cornered on stupid.
Intelligence is down 137 points across the board and the forecast
indicates an increase in Webtv users."
"Is my .sig delimiter broken? Really? You're sure? Awww,
gee...that's too bad...for YOU!" `, )
Martin Heffels
<use...@backwater-productions.net> wrote:
>Oh Marty, Marty, Marty...ya all done and fucked up, Kiddo!
>
>I uh, noticed ya posted one of yer lil projects:
>http://www.horseshoeboy.com/jonahsquids.html
>
>*snicker*
>
>...that was a BAD idea on yer part, Kiddo.
I have a different role on the project. So, sorry that you aimed all of
this to me, but it is not applicable to me as I didn't design, nor build
the website :-) But don't hold back, and e-mail the webmaster what you
think of his work. He might appreciate it!
tata for now ;-)
Onideus Mad Hatter
<goo...@flikken.net> wrote:
>On Wed, 14 Feb 2007 15:16:38 -0800, Onideus Mad Hatter
><use...@backwater-productions.net> wrote:
>
>>Oh Marty, Marty, Marty...ya all done and fucked up, Kiddo!
>>
>>I uh, noticed ya posted one of yer lil projects:
>>http://www.horseshoeboy.com/jonahsquids.html
>>
>>*snicker*
>>
>>...that was a BAD idea on yer part, Kiddo.
>I have a different role on the project.
Uh oh, backpedal, LOOK OUT!
LOL...oh who didn't see THAT coming.
Also notice how he snipped it all out, musta been REAL painful for him
to look at. Hell, the lil poser bitch is probably cryin his lil eyes
out right now for having been exposed as a FRAUD.
>So, sorry that you aimed all of
>this to me, but it is not applicable to me as I didn't design, nor build
>the website :-) But don't hold back, and e-mail the webmaster what you
>think of his work. He might appreciate it!
>
>tata for now ;-)
Oh well do explain it to us, Bumbles, what WAS your "different" role
on this project? Head BULLSHIT ARTIST perhaps? LOL No, wait, maybe
you were the guy who CLEANED THE FUCKIN TOILETS. He, he, he...you
stupid fuckin amateur, poser ass bitch.
Oh but hey, if you wanna NOW (after the fact) try and claim that you
didn't have anything DIRECTLY to do with that site, its design and
construction...well why don't you show us one that you HAVE, Marty?
Uh oh, backpedal, LOOK OUT!
He, he, he...I mean really Marty, if I'm wrong, you should be able to
EASILY put up another link to a site that you DID make and it should
PROVE that you're not just a stupid poser bitch...of course if you
don't...well...you must think everyone a fool to believe such failing
transparent LIES. `, )
PerfectReign
and chisel and etched in the wall:
> Oh Marty, Marty, Marty...ya all done and fucked up, Kiddo!
>
> I uh, noticed ya posted one of yer lil projects:
> http://www.horseshoeboy.com/jonahsquids.html
>
> *snicker*
>
> ...that was a BAD idea on yer part, Kiddo.
I couldn't see the site. My browser - Lynx - doesn't do flash.
lol
--
kai
Free Compean and Ramos
http://www.perfectreign.com/?q=node/46
Martin Heffels
<use...@backwater-productions.net> wrote:
>Uh oh, backpedal, LOOK OUT!
>
>LOL...oh who didn't see THAT coming.
Nice try hatter ;-)
>Oh well do explain it to us, Bumbles, what WAS your "different" role
>on this project? Head BULLSHIT ARTIST perhaps? LOL No, wait, maybe
>you were the guy who CLEANED THE FUCKIN TOILETS. He, he, he...you
>stupid fuckin amateur, poser ass bitch.
>
>Oh but hey, if you wanna NOW (after the fact) try and claim that you
>didn't have anything DIRECTLY to do with that site, its design and
>construction...well why don't you show us one that you HAVE, Marty?
>Uh oh, backpedal, LOOK OUT!
>
>He, he, he...I mean really Marty, if I'm wrong, you should be able to
>EASILY put up another link to a site that you DID make and it should
>PROVE that you're not just a stupid poser bitch...of course if you
>don't...well...you must think everyone a fool to believe such failing
>transparent LIES. `, )
Building websites is not my thing. I built a very simple one, which you had
a look at before. But I know a few things about designing them. And I
certainly have an opinion about what's good and bad in terms of design :-)
But, since you ask, I will be the cinematographer and editor for this
project.
Martin Heffels
<perfec...@xr4ti.tinfoilcat.com> wrote:
>I couldn't see the site. My browser - Lynx - doesn't do flash.
:-))
--
Official website "Jonah's Quid" http://www.jonahsquids.co.uk
Onideus Mad Hatter
<goo...@flikken.net> wrote:
>Building websites is not my thing.
LOL, oh and now the truth comes out. So all that time you were runnin
the fuck at the mouth about me and *MY* sites...you're NOW saying that
you didn't actually have FUCK ALL of a clue as to what you were even
talking about and that despite your LIES, you're not even CAPABLE of
formulating a critique about any of my sites because YOU HAVE NO SKILL
in that particular area.
So, really...yer STILL a bullshit artist running around tryin to
pretend to be something that you aren't. It's nice to see that you're
learning to admit it though.
>I built a very simple one, which you had
>a look at before.
I don't recall it, did I rip it apart too?
>But I know a few things about designing them.
No, you REALLY don't actually. You haven't even the vaguest,
n00b.level, Frontpage molested comprehension of the subject. You have
SHIT, that you're pulling out of yer ass in great quantities.
>And I certainly have an opinion about what's good and bad in terms of design :-)
Too bad an OPINION is ALL you have. Hrmmm...where's that
post...*looks in Google*...ahhh, here it is:
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.2600/msg/70bc0fdc31b77abd
:Sorry Fat Hannigan, but that's how philistines like you percieve art
:(as it being all subject). Art actually isn't subjective AT ALL and
:depending on what specific genre or style you're attempting it's quite
:easy to grade a piece. In Mara's case it has been argued for her that
:she was going for a minimalist look, that being the case her work
:simply doesn't measure up at all. I mean if you wanted to ignore all
:the functional design deficiencies I pointed out (with her links and
:the navigation), what you have left is a single, monochromatic,
:monosaturated shit color of brown with plain black text on top of it.
:In minimalist art, the idea is to express a kind of abstraction from
:the real by stripping down objects to their elemental, geometric form
:and to present them in an impersonal manner. In Mara's site...there's
:nothing TO be stripped down, there simply ISN'T ANYTHING THERE. You
:couldn't simply pick a single color, splash it over yer canvas and
:then run around calling it minamilist. At a stretch you might try and
:claim it's a minamilist background, albeit a completely unimaginative
:one. The idea with GOOD minamilism is to try and make it as COMPLEX
:as you can while STILL maintaining the abstraction from the real.
:It's HARDER to do that, which is WHY that's considered to be BETTER
:than EASY MINAMILISM like a Mara's pathetic background (which requires
:no thought nor any skill to reproduce). Where as you take a site like
:nyah:
:http://www.csszengarden.com/
:
:THAT is an example of REALLY GOOD minamalism in that it has MANY
:ELEMENTS, objects and forms which are all being abstracted from the
:real. Minimalism is NOT about trying to achieve NOTHING, if it were,
:there wouldn't BE minamilism, because you could simply produce nothing
:and that would wind up beign the quintessence of the style.
Do ya see, Kiddo? All you're doing is giving a completely subjective,
philistine level NONpinion, which is completely worthless since I'm
not designing the site around YOUR fuckwitted tastes (although I'm
sure you'd love it if the world really did revolve around your fat
ugly head). With ALL my sites I'm ALWAYS going for a SPECIFIC DESIGN
STYLE.
>But, since you ask, I will be the cinematographer and editor for this
>project.
Woah, isn't that special. So, really, your ONLY "skill" if you can
even call it that...is in editing video? That's pretty gawd sad.
Learning how to edit video, well, isn't exactly something that takes
YEARS worth of effort. I pretty much mastered the form in about six
months actually.
--
Onideus Mad Hatter
mhm น x น
Martin Heffels
<use...@backwater-productions.net> wrote:
>On Thu, 15 Feb 2007 00:42:41 +0100, Martin Heffels
><goo...@flikken.net> wrote:
>
>>Building websites is not my thing.
>
>LOL, oh and now the truth comes out. So all that time you were runnin
>the fuck at the mouth about me and *MY* sites...you're NOW saying that
>you didn't actually have FUCK ALL of a clue as to what you were even
>talking about and that despite your LIES, you're not even CAPABLE of
>formulating a critique about any of my sites because YOU HAVE NO SKILL
>in that particular area.
Let me say it again: a foul-mouthed person like you does not get any
extended critique from me.
>So, really...yer STILL a bullshit artist running around tryin to
>pretend to be something that you aren't. It's nice to see that you're
>learning to admit it though.
Since you are not a filmmaker by trade, and no little about how to make
movies, does not mean you are not entitled to an opinion about what you see
on your screen. I am mere but a simple user, I studied about how to design
a good website, so I know what a good website encompasses. That gives me an
little extra help in judging your website. In the end it's not about how
you build your website and with what tools, but: how quick does it load and
how easy is it to navigate. It's as simple as that. Nobody cares about the
technical details, just the content.
>>I built a very simple one, which you had
>>a look at before.
>
>I don't recall it, did I rip it apart too?
No, but the topic was editing that time.
>>But I know a few things about designing them.
>
>No, you REALLY don't actually. You haven't even the vaguest,
>n00b.level, Frontpage molested comprehension of the subject. You have
>SHIT, that you're pulling out of yer ass in great quantities.
I build my website with GoLive with the use of CSS. More than enough.
[...]
>Do ya see, Kiddo? All you're doing is giving a completely subjective,
>philistine level NONpinion, which is completely worthless since I'm
>not designing the site around YOUR fuckwitted tastes (although I'm
>sure you'd love it if the world really did revolve around your fat
>ugly head). With ALL my sites I'm ALWAYS going for a SPECIFIC DESIGN
>STYLE.
And you can work out that design in a good or in a bad manner. It's not
what you thin is good, it's what the user of the website thinks is good. If
you build a website which is slow to load, and difficult to navigate, you
won't get lots of visitors.
>>But, since you ask, I will be the cinematographer and editor for this
>>project.
>
>Woah, isn't that special. So, really, your ONLY "skill" if you can
>even call it that...is in editing video? That's pretty gawd sad.
>Learning how to edit video, well, isn't exactly something that takes
>YEARS worth of effort. I pretty much mastered the form in about six
>months actually.
See, you prove again you know nothing about editing of video. It's an
art-form as well, and takes years to practise, just like building a good
website. If you think slapping a couple of pictures together under a
sound-track, you are far off :-) And the work of a cinematographer is
"designing pictures". Just like graphical art, only with moving pictures.