Indian-non-Indian marriages--some thoughts
Jagadeesh Chilakapati
>
>Hello, this is Neelam talkin'!!!!
>
>>
>--I guess I should first ask before responding--are your ancestors from India?
>If they are, this is a VERY silly question to ask.
>
>
I think Asian indians is the normally accepted term. I have
even read some of the islands near indonesia being referred
to as the East Indies, which would make the people
East Indian. And within India East Indians would refer
to people from the east of India i.e. Assam etc. But I havent
heard this term being used.
I rather prefer being called India Indian :-)
>If they aren't, I suppose one could say that East Indians are a group of
>people whose ancestors originated from India (in Asia). There's more than
>that to an East Indian, but this is only meant to be a brief introduction.
>
>
> I hope this cleared things up for you,
> Neelam
>
>P.S., What IS Marathi??? Or is that an equally silly question????
It is :-) and I wont answer silly questions :-)
JaC
o---------------------------------------------------------o
| \\|// Jagadeesh Chilakapati \\|// |
| (@ @) Vendor, IBM Sterling Forests (b-d) |
o-ooO-(_)-Ooo---------------------------------ooO-(_)-Ooo-o
All opinions are mine
Jatinder Deol
>Hello, it's me, Neelam
>how I feel. However, I guess what makes me feel this way is just the way
>they *stare* at me like I'm some sort of alien breed or something....it CAN
>make a person feel quite uncomfortable, you know. Also, most of the Indian
>girls that I've encountered tend to stick to their little "groups", and if
>I ever make an attempt to make conversation, or whatever they seem very *cold*
I know this problem exists in the area we live in. But because they
stare at you, it does not mean that they dislike you.
I know exactly what you are refering to, but I don't know how to put the
explaination in the words, so you will have to use your imagination a bit.
Some people may be older in the age than you, but still they can
be quite immature. When these people stare, they may not even realize it
that they are making you feel uncomfortable; they are just too busy in
doing whatever they are doing. And most people don't think of themselves
as their doings can have serious effect on other people, may be because
they don't take themselves seriously.
Conclusion: in general, people tend to have this
attitude that whatever they are doing is not that important and I think
this is the root of the many problems. If everyone took his/her actions
seriously enough to first think which kind of side effects it can have
then this planet can be much better place because most people may not
be bad by nature, they just don't realize how important they and
their actions are! :-)
>3) She generally tries a lot harder to "fit in" or get another person's
> approval. Me, I rarely do such things. I'm not geeky, or nerdy, I just
> prefer not to do things just to please someone. That's not to say that
You seem to be on right track there but one more thing you should learn
is: don't give control of your emotions in someone else's hands.
You are the one in charge of yourself, then why should other people
decide how you should feel about anything!
You are an east indian(I will clear this term too), be proud of it.
No one is in authority to make you feel unaccepted! :-)
Controversy of this term, east indians: From where we live( Canadians);
this term is commonly used to refer to people from India.
Pls get used to it! :-)
And thank you Neelam for taking your time to give descriptive answers.
Finally, I understand what people mean when they make this complain!
--
Jatinder Deol (jd...@sfu.ca)
Don't let go of your principles to please the world.
S. Vattompadam
>In <2j63ba...@gambier.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca>, b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>
>I think Asian indians is the normally accepted term. I have
>even read some of the islands near indonesia being referred
>to as the East Indies, which would make the people
>East Indian. And within India East Indians would refer
>to people from the east of India i.e. Assam etc. But I havent
>heard this term being used.
>
>I rather prefer being called India Indian :-)
I think another term which has been popping up quite a lot here in Canada
is South Asian, which can be taken to mean anyone from India, Pakistan,
Bangladesh, etc. IMO, this is better than terms like East Indian,
although I would prefer it if they used Indian or Pakistani directly. But
if they must generalize, it looks like South Asian is the most correct.
Another term which is popular among the younger 'south asian' crowd (myself
included) is 'brown', as opposed to black or white. Some people feel
bothered by this, but it doesn't bother me at all, and it is nice and simple.
--
Sanjay Vattompadam
Faculty of Engineering
McMaster University
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
K. Shriram
> What is their problem???? Haven't they ever seen a liberated East
> Indian Girl before???
The only piece of evidence you've given to "prove" that you're
"liberated" is the fact that you're going out with a white man.
Unfortunately, I don't think that's a very reasonable definition of
the term, should one exist at all. At the very least, one would like
to think that there's much more to "liberation" than going out with a
person from a different culture, don't you think? For that matter,
couldn't one easily accuse you of not only not being liberated, but
actually being racist in your views?
> Another thing I hate is how ignorant white people can be. I mean, I
> ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when they say stuff like: " oh, you don't look
> east indian at all!!" or " You're east indian?? --you're kidding!!!
> , I've never seen east indians that look like you!!"
>
> This offends me deeply. What do they mean, they've never seen an
> east indian like me before?????? There are many very beautiful east
> indian girls all over the place. Much more beautiful than me
> probably. Then why is it such a surprise to them that I'm indian??
> Personally, I think it's just because most white people haven't been
> around much, and don't know much about other nationalities.
What does beauty have to do with being Indian?
I suspect you will find that people from anywhere in the world are
largely ignorant of those from half-way around the globe (even if not
from the antipode per se). Such ignorance in the US is harder to
explain, but is still easy to understand. For that matter, do you
honestly think your average Indian can tell a "generic" Swede apart
from a Spaniard apart from a Hungarian? (They do, far as I can tell
from first-hand observation, have fairly characteristic features.)
Maybe what the people you're referring to meant was that you're
exceptionally fair. Are you? Most Indians do tend to be fairly dark,
and it may come as a slight surprise to them to meet one of fairer
skin than they're accustomed to. (Don't Indians think that "all
Americans are white"? But they aren't, now, are they?)
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <CL04M...@rice.edu>, shr...@cs.rice.edu (K. Shriram) writes:
> In article <2is5a7...@bowen.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca> b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>
> > What is their problem???? Haven't they ever seen a liberated East
> > Indian Girl before???
>
> The only piece of evidence you've given to "prove" that you're
> "liberated" is the fact that you're going out with a white man.
> Unfortunately, I don't think that's a very reasonable definition of
> the term, should one exist at all. At the very least, one would like
> to think that there's much more to "liberation" than going out with a
> person from a different culture, don't you think? For that matter,
> couldn't one easily accuse you of not only not being liberated, but
> actually being racist in your views?
And also what does she mean to be "liberated" ? Was she some sort of
prisoner before ? Maybe she's confusing it with liberal...The so-called
"liberated East Indian Girl" also suddenly seems to reverse polarity
to become a conservative when a "liberated East Indian Boy" is trying
to get into her pants....
Neelan Kawal Haer
>
>In article <CL04M...@rice.edu>, shr...@cs.rice.edu (K. Shriram) writes:
>> In article <2is5a7...@bowen.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca> b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>>
>> > What is their problem???? Haven't they ever seen a liberated East
>> > Indian Girl before???
*stuff deleted*
>And also what does she mean to be "liberated" ? Was she some sort of
>prisoner before ? Maybe she's confusing it with liberal...The so-called
>"liberated East Indian Girl" also suddenly seems to reverse polarity
>to become a conservative when a "liberated East Indian Boy" is trying
>to get into her pants....
>
The meaning of the word liberal or liberated has been twisted here....in my
understanding,liberated or liberal can be equated with being free(d) to make
one's own decisions, to live one's life as one chooses, free to be able to
keep oneself happy, (within reason, of coarse). When a person is "liberated",
or "liberal", it does not mean that he/she has lost all moral values....and it
does not mean that if, as you put it, a "liberated East Indian Boy" tries
to get into my pants that I don't have the liberty, freedom, or right to say
"GET LOST!" or "NO!"....and it also does not mean that after saying such
things that I'm suddenly "conservative", this isn't politics, I'm talking
about my rights and my freedom here!....NOT some guy's right to put his hands
on my private property!
Neelam
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <2jremo...@keats.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca>, b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>>
> The meaning of the word liberal or liberated has been twisted here....in my
> understanding,liberated or liberal can be equated with being free(d) to make
> one's own decisions, to live one's life as one chooses, free to be able to
> keep oneself happy, (within reason, of coarse). When a person is "liberated",
> or "liberal", it does not mean that he/she has lost all moral values....and it
> does not mean that if, as you put it, a "liberated East Indian Boy" tries
> to get into my pants that I don't have the liberty, freedom, or right to say
> "GET LOST!" or "NO!"....and it also does not mean that after saying such
> things that I'm suddenly "conservative", this isn't politics, I'm talking
> about my rights and my freedom here!....NOT some guy's right to put his hands
> on my private property!
>
> Neelam
I think you are the one confusing the two words. Liberated means "being free(d) to make one's own decisions, to live one's life as one chooses, free to be able to keep oneself happy " etc.....Liberal indicates the willingness to tolerate
others "being liberated".
I do not doubt you are both liberal and liberated. But the context in which you
posed the question "What is their problem???? Haven't they ever seen a liberated East Indian Girl before??? " was to your relationship(s) with non-Indian guy(s). Probably thats the problem...they indeed haven't seen
any "liberated East Indian girls". Maybe your behavior is something alien to
them.
Neelan Kawal Haer
>
>In article <2jremo...@keats.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca>, b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>>>
>> The meaning of the word liberal or liberated has been twisted here....in my
>> understanding,liberated or liberal can be equated with being free(d) to make
>> one's own decisions, to live one's life as one chooses, free to be able to
>> keep oneself happy, (within reason, of coarse). When a person is "liberated",
>> or "liberal", it does not mean that he/she has lost all moral values....and it
*stuff deleted*
>I do not doubt you are both liberal and liberated. But the context in which you
>posed the question "What is their problem???? Haven't they ever seen a liberated East Indian Girl before??? " was to your relationship(s) with non-Indian guy(s). Probably thats the problem...they indeed haven't seen
>any "liberated East Indian girls". Maybe your behavior is something alien to
I just want to inform you that I was not thinking that they thought (nor did I
even think it myself) I was liberated or liberal or *whatever* because I'm
dating a non-Indian.....I was referring to the way I look....my clothes, hair,
etc....even though I never stated this specifically, I thought it was obvious
that this is what I meant when I say that when people look at me they might
think I'm very modern, liberal, etc.....because like I said, it happens whether
I'm with my boyfriend or not...get it???
Neelam
rakesh.r.patel
>
>I just want to inform you that I was not thinking that they thought (nor did I
>even think it myself) I was liberated or liberal or *whatever* because I'm
>dating a non-Indian.....I was referring to the way I look....my clothes, hair,
>etc....even though I never stated this specifically, I thought it was obvious
>that this is what I meant when I say that when people look at me they might
>think I'm very modern, liberal, etc.....because like I said, it happens whether
>I'm with my boyfriend or not...get it???
>
I always wondered what liberated clothes and hair looked like??? This must be
a new thing. I must catch-up on my fashions trends. What happen to the
"grunge" and '70s look?? :)
Rakesh
mia...@vax.sbu.ac.uk
stop writing this...........bull on the news net ........i mean think of this
stupid topic.............!! it's been dragging on for ages....i don't think
people are interested in finding out who we get married with ...whether it's
from the sub-continent or from Euro America.. ...... we only get married for
for our convenicen ...........to settle down and to have fun......
It doesn't matter who you get married with as long as you like each other...
There is nothing wrong with getting married with some one not from your
own race as long as you are satisfied and take care of everything...
(including any after shock from your family and friends...)...........
so please get a new topic and we can all have a good discussion.......!!!
Afzol......
(this article has been posted from South Bank University,London uk....)
Neelan Kawal Haer
>In article <2k3fjk...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca> b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>>
>>etc....even though I never stated this specifically, I thought it was obvious
>>that this is what I meant when I say that when people look at me they might
>>think I'm very modern, liberal, etc.....because like I said, it happens whether
>>I'm with my boyfriend or not...get it???
>
>a new thing. I must catch-up on my fashions trends. What happen to the
>"grunge" and '70s look?? :)
Well, if you look at someone, can't you tell if they're dressed traditionally,
or if their hair is well-styled according to today's fashions (ever seen any
fashion mags????).
rakesh.r.patel
>
>Well, if you look at someone, can't you tell if they're dressed traditionally,
>or if their hair is well-styled according to today's fashions (ever seen any
>fashion mags????).
>
Please refer me to a magazine so I can figure out was is liberal/liberated
fashion as opposed to traditional(I presume that's the unliberated fashion)
fashion. :)
Rakesh
Mr Samuel Alexander
Bravo Afzal (from South Bank Univ.)
This exchange of who to marry is unnecessary mediaeval
scholaticism and is tantamount to: how many angels can
dance on the head of a pin. It is tiresome and who really
cares. Those who care, need not marry an "outsider".
One marries some one with who one is in some form of
harmony or want to marry for whatever reason one justifies
to one's self.
One has to sondier the normal nvolvements of the family
and one's close associates. However, in the final "push
come to shove", one has to make a decision and take the
consequences. If a South Asian girl or boy wants to choose
a partner outside the ethnic fold, then it is purely his or
her business with some famlial, etc., considerations -
within reason! The rest of the ethnic or religious community
has no proprietory right over the individual.
Now before the South Asian population out there condemns
above as vews of "farangi", I should like to say:
"mere naam ke bawajud, main bhi hindustani hoon!"
All tthe best and continue to flourish!
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <2k3fjk...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca>, b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>
> I just want to inform you that I was not thinking that they thought (nor did I
> even think it myself) I was liberated or liberal or *whatever* because I'm
> dating a non-Indian.....I was referring to the way I look....my clothes, hair,
> etc....even though I never stated this specifically, I thought it was obvious
> that this is what I meant when I say that when people look at me they might
> think I'm very modern, liberal, etc.....because like I said, it happens whether
> I'm with my boyfriend or not...get it???
>
Surely you flatter yourself....So you think that other people may find you
modern/liberated because of your clothing/makeup/etc ! Maybe a simpler
explanation for that is in order....they probably just envy the fact
that you can afford to look/present yourself the way you do.
shobhik chaudhuri
> Well, if you look at someone, can't you tell if they're dressed traditionally,
> or if their hair is well-styled according to today's fashions (ever seen any
> fashion mags????).
>
You seem to dictate values (traditional/liberal) with how a person dresses..
How original !
shobhik chaudhuri
Yes ....i'd very much like to know if what i wear is liberal/traditional/liberated/unliberated.
What a novel way to figure out what to wear ... must keep the image...
Mr Samuel Alexander
WHO GIVES A TUPPENCE WHO IS MODERN AND WHO IS ANTIQUATED.
IT IS A PERSONAL CHOICE - ONE CAN CUT OFF ALL THE HAIR OR
KEEP SOME.
THIS IS ALL VERY TIRESOME AND JUVENILE!
DO YOU THING - YOU KNOW THE LIMITS OR PEOPLE AROUND YOU
KNOW THE LIMIT.
SURELY THERE ARE BETTER THINGS TO WRITE AND TALK ABOUT.
IN THE 1960s THEY WOULD HAVE SAID "ABOUT LOVE, PEACE AND
GROOVINESS"!
SO YOU ARE SEEN AS MODERN, ANSWER: "GOOD FOR YOU" IN
THE MOST PATRONIZING SENSE OF THIS USELESS PHRASE.
ENJOY AND LOOK AROUND AT THE BEAUTY IN ALL CREATURES,
HUMAN AND OTHERS AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST!
Neelan Kawal Haer
>In article <2kb89c...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca> b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
*stuff deleted*
>Please refer me to a magazine so I can figure out was is liberal/liberated
>fashion as opposed to traditional(I presume that's the unliberated fashion)
>fashion. :)
Get real man!!! I absolutely refuse to talk about this stuff anymore! you
just can't understand it unless it happens to you! (or are you one of those
people who continuously stare, and just don't relieve your eyeballs until I
finally can do nothing else but leave the room! I had an encounter like that
just today! I mean the guy just wouldn't quit ! I find things like that VERY
rude, don't you?) What am I supposed to think when things like this happen?
I have to say that I had a good mind to just turn around and tell that guy
where to go in front of everyone for what he was doing!!! But I forced myself
to maintain my temper, I don't know why. So here i am again, having to
justify the way I feel, when it should be people like that guy who should be
doing the explaining, the justifying, the feeling like a weirdo stuff! But
people like him have absolutely, not even an ounce of shame!!!
clothes?? liberated?? I just dress the way I want and it happens to be
different than most of them dress.....and it also happens to be fashionable,
because I like it that way.
Now, if you'll *excuse* me, I have to go and study for an numerical analysis
exam!
Sorry for blowing up like that, but it was inevitable....
Neelam
Neelan Kawal Haer
>Surely you flatter yourself....So you think that other people may find you
>modern/liberated because of your clothing/makeup/etc ! Maybe a simpler
>explanation for that is in order....they probably just envy the fact
>that you can afford to look/present yourself the way you do.
Ha! What do you call liberated, Mr-i-have-the-right-to-look-at-what-everyone-
else-writes-and-pick-at-their-credentials!! just because I gave you an example
of why they might think I'm liberal or whatever, it doesn't mean that that's
all there is to me that's liberal!! obviously, if someone sees me and doesn't
know me, they may or may not get an IMPRESSION of me, which is based ALWAYS on
the way a person presents his/herself!! so cut out the crap! I don't consider
myself to be only made of clothes! In the first place, people kept accusing
me of saying I'm liberated because i'm dating a non-indian, and when i went
on to say that that's not what i meant, you pounce on me again!!! What exactly
then do YOU consider "liberal" because I feel that if a person does what he
or she likes, it's a liberation!! and that's all there is to it..no more, no
less.....and if clothes are included in that, so be it! It's not just a
material thing, it's WAY more than that.
Neelam
Neelan Kawal Haer
>
>In article <CLLHu...@cbfsb.cb.att.com>, r...@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (rakesh.r.patel) writes:
>> Please refer me to a magazine so I can figure out was is liberal/liberated
>> fashion as opposed to traditional(I presume that's the unliberated fashion)
>> fashion. :)
>Yes ....i'd very much like to know if what i wear is liberal/traditional/liberated/unliberated.
well, let me give you a hint...do you dress like the jetson's or the
flintstones???? Hey?????
Neelam.
rakesh.r.patel
>
>Get real man!!! I absolutely refuse to talk about this stuff anymore! you
>just can't understand it unless it happens to you! (or are you one of those
>people who continuously stare, and just don't relieve your eyeballs until I
>finally can do nothing else but leave the room!
I think I saw an ad like this before - that shampoo ad. Pantene, I think,
don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful... ;)
> I had an encounter like that
>just today! I mean the guy just wouldn't quit ! I find things like that VERY
>rude, don't you?) What am I supposed to think when things like this happen?
>I have to say that I had a good mind to just turn around and tell that guy
>where to go in front of everyone for what he was doing!!! But I forced myself
>to maintain my temper, I don't know why. So here i am again, having to
>justify the way I feel, when it should be people like that guy who should be
>doing the explaining, the justifying, the feeling like a weirdo stuff! But
>people like him have absolutely, not even an ounce of shame!!!
Well, I guess we all have a cross to bear don't we? That reminds me of
another tune..."I'm Too Sexy" ;)
>clothes?? liberated?? I just dress the way I want and it happens to be
>different than most of them dress.....and it also happens to be fashionable,
>because I like it that way.
Sure, sure, sure. I believe you(not!). :)
Rakesh
rakesh.r.patel
>
>What exactly
>then do YOU consider "liberal" because I feel that if a person does what he
>or she likes, it's a liberation!! and that's all there is to it..no more, no
>less....
This sounds more and more like a libertine!
Rakesh
rakesh.r.patel
>
>well, let me give you a hint...do you dress like the jetson's or the
>flintstones???? Hey?????
Well, like the Flintstones, I have clothing made of animal hide, and when
at home, I am bare-footed. And like the Jetsons some of my clothes are made
out of high-tech polymers.
But I still don't get, what is liberated wear and unliberated wear :)
I must get your dictionary.
Rakesh
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <2kdcf1$r...@cs6.rmc.ca>, alex...@d3.rmc.ca (Mr Samuel Alexander) writes:
> *********************************************************************
>
> WHO GIVES A TUPPENCE WHO IS MODERN AND WHO IS ANTIQUATED.
> IT IS A PERSONAL CHOICE - ONE CAN CUT OFF ALL THE HAIR OR
> KEEP SOME.
>
> THIS IS ALL VERY TIRESOME AND JUVENILE!
>
> DO YOU THING - YOU KNOW THE LIMITS OR PEOPLE AROUND YOU
> KNOW THE LIMIT.
>
> SURELY THERE ARE BETTER THINGS TO WRITE AND TALK ABOUT.
> IN THE 1960s THEY WOULD HAVE SAID "ABOUT LOVE, PEACE AND
> GROOVINESS"!
Perhaps you can suggest a topic...
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <2kdtls...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca>, b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
> In article <2kd1ii...@srvr1.engin.umich.edu> sho...@hadron.engin.umich.edu (shobhik chaudhuri) writes:
>
> >Surely you flatter yourself....So you think that other people may find you
> >modern/liberated because of your clothing/makeup/etc ! Maybe a simpler
> >explanation for that is in order....they probably just envy the fact
> >that you can afford to look/present yourself the way you do.
>
> Ha! What do you call liberated, Mr-i-have-the-right-to-look-at-what-everyone-
> else-writes-and-pick-at-their-credentials!!
Isn't that what these newsgroups are all about ?
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <CLoLt...@cbfsb.cb.att.com>, r...@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (rakesh.r.patel) writes:
> In article <2kdu0j...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca> b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
> >
> >well, let me give you a hint...do you dress like the jetson's or the
> >flintstones???? Hey?????
>
> Well, like the Flintstones, I have clothing made of animal hide, and when
> at home, I am bare-footed. And like the Jetsons some of my clothes are made
> out of high-tech polymers.
>
She forgot the Simpson's....
> But I still don't get, what is liberated wear and unliberated wear :)
>
> I must get your dictionary.
>
Yes.. the dictionary is a must !! Ever since this discussion began, my
liberated jeans are arguing with my unliberated shirts....throwing my
wardrobe into total disarray.....
Neelan Kawal Haer
>
>Well, I guess we all have a cross to bear don't we? That reminds me of
>another tune..."I'm Too Sexy" ;)
is it absolutely necessary for you to put words in my mouth??? i never said
that i thought i was too sexy, i'm just telling it like it is...it actually,
believe it or not , bothers me very much, but i guess you couldn't tell since
you were too busy trying to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES"....trying to find
something that isn't!
>Sure, sure, sure. I believe you(not!). :)
it just so happens that i trustin myself enough to know that i'm telling
the truth...and i never asked you whether you believed me or not....just
thought i'd point this out...
Neelam
omarjeet.s.grewal
> In article <CLLHu...@cbfsb.cb.att.com> r...@cbnewsg.cb.att.com (rakesh.r.patel) writes:
> >In article <2kb89c...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca> b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>
> *stuff deleted*
>
> >Please refer me to a magazine so I can figure out was is liberal/liberated
>
> finally can do nothing else but leave the room! I had an encounter like that
> just today! I mean the guy just wouldn't quit ! I find things like that VERY
> rude, don't you?) What am I supposed to think when things like this happen?
> I have to say that I had a good mind to just turn around and tell that guy
JUST WINK AT THAT GUY IF HE HAS ANY GUTS WILL STOP IF HE STILL DOES
THEN SHOW HIM THE UNIVERSAL SIGN
> where to go in front of everyone for what he was doing!!! But I forced myself
>
> Neelam
Neelan Kawal Haer
>Well, like the Flintstones, I have clothing made of animal hide, and when
>at home, I am bare-footed. And like the Jetsons some of my clothes are made
>out of high-tech polymers.
>But I still don't get, what is liberated wear and unliberated wear :)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
honestly, i couldn't tell you. it's probably a matter of opinion...
neelam
p.s.: the thing about the flintstones was a joke!
Neelan Kawal Haer
of course!! it's great being able to act like this around people you'll
probably never see or meet for as long as you live!!!
neelam
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <2kgjoq...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca>, b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
> >> Ha! What do you call liberated, Mr-i-have-the-right-to-look-at-what-everyone-
> >> else-writes-and-pick-at-their-credentials!!
>
> >Isn't that what these newsgroups are all about ?
>
>
> of course!! it's great being able to act like this around people you'll
> probably never see or meet for as long as you live!!!
>
> neelam
Don't be too sure 'bout that...its a small world....
Jatinder Deol
>> >> Ha! What do you call liberated, Mr-i-have-the-right-to-look-at-what-everyone-
>> >> else-writes-and-pick-at-their-credentials!!
>>
>> >Isn't that what these newsgroups are all about ?
>>
>>
>> of course!! it's great being able to act like this around people you'll
>> probably never see or meet for as long as you live!!!
>>
>> neelam
>Don't be too sure 'bout that...its a small world....
SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE, NOW SHOBHIK IS HAVING DIFFICULTIES GETTING
ALONG WITH ANOTHER PERSON. HAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! :-) :-)
--
Jatinder Deol (jd...@sfu.ca)
One that will not reason is a bigot.
One that cannot reason is a fool.
One that dares not reason is a slave.
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <jdeol.7...@sfu.ca>, jd...@kits.sfu.ca (Jatinder Deol) writes:
>> >Don't be too sure 'bout that...its a small world....
>
>
> SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE, NOW SHOBHIK IS HAVING DIFFICULTIES GETTING
> ALONG WITH ANOTHER PERSON. HAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! :-) :-)
>
>
> --
> Jatinder Deol (jd...@sfu.ca)
Well thats a situation YOU must be quite familiar with.....
Mr Samuel Alexander
> In article <2kdcf1$r...@cs6.rmc.ca>, alex...@d3.rmc.ca (Mr Samuel Alexander) writes:
[rest deleted for clarity]
> Perhaps you can suggest a topic...
Retort:
This is pathetic if one can't cut this inane verbal fencing
out and can't find any other topic.
In my opinion Neelam and Rakesh have too much time!
Surely there is a lot of other things to talk/keyboard about.
I go through some of this for no logical reason. This sparring
does not even have any voyeuristic virtue - that could have
a redeeming factor.
One party has this need to tell us that she dresses "modern"
and has a non-Indian beau. Two major indications of whatever
yard-stick of going modern.
The other party is just egging on. Now that I have come to an
analysis, I should think that I like Rakesh's approach. It is
completely detached and very clever. With a choice of some well
placed barbs, he is able to elicit infuriatingly inane responses.
This is addressed to Rakesh: Did you grow up in India? Where?
Where did you go to school (secondary, etc.)? The technique does
not seem to be one learnt from a Govt School in Manavadar
or Keshod. (Notice, I an stereotying on the basis of the last
name and am probably way off the mark. RP may very well have
attended Columba's, BCS (Simla), St Jo or Sherwood (Naini Tal), etc.
Great baiting, old chap! Bravo!
But the whole thing is still tiresome. I am getting drawn into
this "himakat" and I shall try to avoid it. All the best.
rakesh.r.patel
>
>One party has this need to tell us that she dresses "modern"
>and has a non-Indian beau. Two major indications of whatever
>yard-stick of going modern.
I am deeply impressed with Neelam's view of modernism and its
social consequences relating to inter-racial dating, draconian
Indian parents, liberated/unliberated fashion and extremely
rude people staring at poor Neelam. :)
>This is addressed to Rakesh: Did you grow up in India? Where?
>Where did you go to school (secondary, etc.)? The technique does
>not seem to be one learnt from a Govt School in Manavadar
>or Keshod. (Notice, I an stereotying on the basis of the last
>name and am probably way off the mark. RP may very well have
>attended Columba's, BCS (Simla), St Jo or Sherwood (Naini Tal), etc.
>
My dear fellow, I'm as ABCD as they come. ;)
Rakesh
Jatinder Deol
Of course I am. You gave me some experience remember.....
The reason I am starting it again with you is not only because I hate
your name(just kidding), but more importantly you and Rekesh seems to be
giving hard time to Neelam. And I want Neelam to continue to write to
this newsgroup. See if we have different views, it is good, we can learn
new things, ideas from each other. So just quit bugging her. If your
*itch* problem really gets serious if you don't fight with someone then
I think we both make a good team. I will like to share her burden of
handling two rude critics. That is all Shobik; you see I consider myself
being very good hearted person Shobik; but you just manage to bring
the worst out of me somehow! :-)
Cheers!!!!! Losen up a bit would you! :-)
--
Jatinder Deol (jd...@sfu.ca)
Neelan Kawal Haer
>being very good hearted person Shobik; but you just manage to bring
>the worst out of me somehow! :-)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
yes, and ME TOO!!!!
Neelam
869483 Palakodeti Ramesh S
--
Cogito, ergo sum
rakesh.r.patel
>
>We've only been dating for about two months, so it's way too soon to
>start talking about marriage, but I want to understand why my not being
>Indian is an issue. My family has been in the US for generations and as
>long as I don't marry a black man, race isn't an issue. (It's only an
>issue with African Americans because my parents would be concerned about
>me and any children I'd have being hurt by racism.) Anyway, we're both
>really close to our families and I've already told mine about Prakash
>(they haven't met him yet because he lives in New Jersey and they live
>in western Pennsylvania), but his family doesn't know about me. It
>doesn't bother me yet, but I know that if we date for months and he
>doesn't tell his famiy about me, I'll start to feel like he's hiding me
>from them. I know this is based on how I was raised and my cultural
>background, but I don't really understand his.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What's not to understand? As I see it, your family would be upset if
you dated an Afro-American, consequently you would might initially
not tell your parents. Initially he might not mind, but if you keep it
a secret longer, he may fell you are hiding him from your parents.
I don't this is unique to any culture or ethnic group.
Rakesh
Amy Kay Wilson
Well I'm glad to see that you're all friends again. I've been reading
this thread because my boyfriend is Indian and I'm not (my name does
kind of give it away). His family moved to Connecticut when he was two,
so he grew up in the US even though his parents tried to raise him with
Indian values. The problem is that they definitely want him to marry an
Indian, preferably from India. Unless I dye my hair black, buy lots of
sunless tanner and colored contacts, there's no way that I can pass for
Indian.
We've only been dating for about two months, so it's way too soon to
start talking about marriage, but I want to understand why my not being
Indian is an issue. My family has been in the US for generations and as
long as I don't marry a black man, race isn't an issue. (It's only an
issue with African Americans because my parents would be concerned about
me and any children I'd have being hurt by racism.) Anyway, we're both
really close to our families and I've already told mine about Prakash
(they haven't met him yet because he lives in New Jersey and they live
in western Pennsylvania), but his family doesn't know about me. It
doesn't bother me yet, but I know that if we date for months and he
doesn't tell his famiy about me, I'll start to feel like he's hiding me
from them. I know this is based on how I was raised and my cultural
background, but I don't really understand his. Can someone please
explain Indian dating/romantic relationships to me? Any ideas on how to
deal with the interracial problem would also be appreciated. Thanks in
advance.
Amy
Saurav Misra
>>In article <jdeol.7...@sfu.ca> jd...@kits.sfu.ca (Jatinder Deol) writes:
>>
>>>being very good hearted person Shobik; but you just manage to bring
>>>the worst out of me somehow! :-)
>> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>
>>yes, and ME TOO!!!!
>>
>>Neelam
>Well I'm glad to see that you're all friends again. I've been reading
>this thread because my boyfriend is Indian and I'm not (my name does
>kind of give it away). His family moved to Connecticut when he was two,
> so he grew up in the US even though his parents tried to raise him with
>Indian values. The problem is that they definitely want him to marry an
>Indian, preferably from India. Unless I dye my hair black, buy lots of
>sunless tanner and colored contacts, there's no way that I can pass for
>Indian.
Ha hahaha, Sorry, I pictured this and it's kind of funny!
>We've only been dating for about two months, so it's way too soon to
>start talking about marriage, but I want to understand why my not being
>Indian is an issue. My family has been in the US for generations and as
>long as I don't marry a black man, race isn't an issue. (It's only an
>issue with African Americans because my parents would be concerned about
>me and any children I'd have being hurt by racism.) Anyway, we're both
>really close to our families and I've already told mine about Prakash
>(they haven't met him yet because he lives in New Jersey and they live
>in western Pennsylvania), but his family doesn't know about me. It
>doesn't bother me yet, but I know that if we date for months and he
>doesn't tell his famiy about me, I'll start to feel like he's hiding me
>from them. I know this is based on how I was raised and my cultural
>background, but I don't really understand his. Can someone please
>explain Indian dating/romantic relationships to me? Any ideas on how to
>deal with the interracial problem would also be appreciated. Thanks in
>advance.
>Amy
Indian datin/romantic relationships cannot be explained, they're one of the
most unfathomable things in this world. No, seriously, it sounds to me
that his parents may be somewhat socially conservative (if they tried to
raise him Indian , as you say, in the middle of Connecticut). As such, they
are probably just more comfortable knowing that their son is involved with
someone who has a common background, common experiences, viewpoints etc. as
they do...I think that's a natural phenomenon. I was sort of involved in
the reverse situation; the girl I was seeing has very strict Catholic parents,
who wanted to see their daughters date good Catholic Irish/Polish boys (I'm
Indian and as agnostic as they come). So they were uncomfortable with me for
a while, but grew a lot warmer over time, since I treated them with respect
and courtesy. Tell your boyfriend to introduce you as soon as possible, I
would say! Then treat his parents with the respect and courtesy (and in the
dignified manner) they deserve and would no doubt expect from any younger
person. They'll soon realize that surface appearances, even those extending
to background, ethnicity, or culture, are not as important as your fundamental
outlook, morals, personality, etc...so if there's nothing lacking in those
aspects I see no reason why they wouldn't come to like you. We Indians are
pretty rational as far as that goes, ya know? ;-)
P.S. Are you sure your parents rationale for you not dating/marrying a black
guy is kosher? What would be the difference between that and you dating an
Indian guy...your kids would still be biracial in the eyes of most Americans.
Not that I want to impugn your parents' motives, but their rationale struck me
as somewhat odd.
-Saurav Misra
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------saurav misra "Sublime success/ Control, abstinence"
sau...@tgevax.life.uiuc.edu -Prong-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Neelan Kawal Haer
>But the whole thing is still tiresome. I am getting drawn into
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>this "himakat" and I shall try to avoid it. All the best.
Well, if you think it's so "tiresome", why do you even read it? Why don't you
just plain skip the article? no one is forcing you to participate or read,
mr.!
Neelam
shobhik chaudhuri
In article <jdeol.7...@sfu.ca>, jd...@kits.sfu.ca (Jatinder Deol) writes:
> sho...@fermi.engin.umich.edu (shobhik chaudhuri) writes:
>
>
> >In article <jdeol.7...@sfu.ca>, jd...@kits.sfu.ca (Jatinder Deol) writes:
> >>> >Don't be too sure 'bout that...its a small world....
> >>
> >>
> >> SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE, NOW SHOBHIK IS HAVING DIFFICULTIES GETTING
> >> ALONG WITH ANOTHER PERSON. HAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! :-) :-)
> >>
> >>
> >> --
> >> Jatinder Deol (jd...@sfu.ca)
>
> >Well thats a situation YOU must be quite familiar with.....
>
>
> Of course I am. You gave me some experience remember.....
>
> The reason I am starting it again with you is not only because I hate
> your name(just kidding), but more importantly you and Rekesh seems to be
> giving hard time to Neelam. And I want Neelam to continue to write to
> this newsgroup.
So now you've become a body guard....how fascinating !! Shades of
Shawn Eckert , eh !
>See if we have different views, it is good, we can learn
> new things, ideas from each other. So just quit bugging her. If your
> *itch* problem really gets serious if you don't fight with someone then
> I think we both make a good team. I will like to share her burden of
> handling two rude critics. That is all Shobik; you see I consider myself
> being very good hearted person Shobik; but you just manage to bring
> the worst out of me somehow! :-)
>
>
Oh please....you do flatter me too much.....
shobhik chaudhuri
What i find intruiging is how someone who doesn't believe non-Indian
relationships work (Jatinder) is bonding with Neelam who determines to
prove otherwise....hmmmmmm.....politics do make strange bedfellows !!!
>
shobhik chaudhuri
>
> Indian datin/romantic relationships cannot be explained, they're one of the
> most unfathomable things in this world. No, seriously, it sounds to me
> that his parents may be somewhat socially conservative (if they tried to
> raise him Indian , as you say, in the middle of Connecticut). As such, they
> are probably just more comfortable knowing that their son is involved with
> someone who has a common background, common experiences, viewpoints etc. as
> they do...I think that's a natural phenomenon. I was sort of involved in
> the reverse situation; the girl I was seeing has very strict Catholic parents,
> who wanted to see their daughters date good Catholic Irish/Polish boys (I'm
> Indian and as agnostic as they come). So they were uncomfortable with me for
> a while, but grew a lot warmer over time, since I treated them with respect
> and courtesy. Tell your boyfriend to introduce you as soon as possible, I
> would say! Then treat his parents with the respect and courtesy (and in the
> dignified manner) they deserve and would no doubt expect from any younger
> person. They'll soon realize that surface appearances, even those extending
> to background, ethnicity, or culture, are not as important as your fundamental
> outlook, morals, personality, etc...so if there's nothing lacking in those
> aspects I see no reason why they wouldn't come to like you. We Indians are
> pretty rational as far as that goes, ya know? ;-)
>
Well said.....
Neelan Kawal Haer
>In article <2kjb86...@anvil.ugrad.cs.ubc.ca>, b8g...@rick.cs.ubc.ca (Neelan Kawal Haer) writes:
>> In article <jdeol.7...@sfu.ca> jd...@kits.sfu.ca (Jatinder Deol) writes:
*stuff deleted*
>What i find intruiging is how someone who doesn't believe non-Indian
>relationships work (Jatinder) is bonding with Neelam who determines to
>prove otherwise....hmmmmmm.....politics do make strange bedfellows !!!
Well, i'm 100% positive that Jatinder is open-minded enough to realize that
there are exceptions for everything, including intercultural relationships....
and oh yeah,....this ain't politics, boy! two people could be the best of
friends, or even husband and wife and not agree on *everything*!!!!
Neelam
Manish Vij
>The interesting thing was that she'd rather I'd marry a "white" American than
>a Muslim or Sikh (I'm Hindu-Jain) because Americans are so tolerant and
>there is too much bad blood historically between Hindus/Sikhs/Muslims. She was
>really upset when in high school I was friendly with some Sikh and Muslim
>girls.
That, to me, is one of the greatest tragedies of our diaspora. That I can't
introduce my Muslim friends comfortably to my relatives because of my
relatives' memories of Partition.
That two kids with similar cultures and interests can be set against each
other with distrust and hatred, based on totally impersonal history.
That violence in South Asia has a remote-control influence on our lives.
That this happens even in college, where we should for once in our lives
be able to act on our ideals and remain open-minded.
>Talking to my
>brother is seems that many Indian boys feel that Indian girls are only
>interested in money and material posessions.
That's probably also based on SAA's generally decent income levels,
not just the culture.
Manish
____________________________________________________________________________
Manish Vij
man...@uclink.berkeley.edu