Elephant jokes anyone?
oil_impressionist DLN
the past couple weeks with all of you, I recalled an old paperback from
my elementary school days: 101 Elephant Jokes published by Scholastic
Book Services. It cost all of forty-five cents, but I paid a dime for
it at one of our infamous neighborhood "toy sales." I believe it was
published in 1969 - sorry - but we all loved it to death for a couple
years during the '70s, and a couple years is a long time in a kid's
life.
So here goes . . .
Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?
Why do elephants wear blue sneakers?
Why do elephants wear green sneakers?
Why do elephants catch cold?
What's gray and lights up?
How do you know when there's an elephant in your bathtub? (My personal
favorite!)
How do you make a statue of an elephant?
Why don't elephants laugh?
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DLN Oil Impressionist
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DavisK
What about 'How do you stop an elephant from charging'?......'You take
away its credit card'. :-(
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Rebecca
DavisK wrote:
Or 'What goes CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! SQUISH!?' -- 'An elephant with one wet
sneaker'. Sorry, please don't throw things at me... 5th grade was a big
year for elephant jokes! :-)
Becky
Oil Impressionist
So, like, here are the answers: (DLN Oil Impressionist)
> > >
> > > Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?
He doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell. (Oooo, that's an oldie!)
> > >
> > > Why do elephants wear blue sneakers?
Their red ones are in the laundry.
> > >
> > > Why do elephants wear green sneakers?
To hide in the grass.
> > >
> > > Why do elephants catch cold?
You would too if you ran around without any clothes on.
> > >
> > > What's gray and lights up?
An electric elephant.
> > >
> > > How do you know when there's an elephant in your bathtub? (My
> > personal
> > > favorite!)
You can smell the peanuts on his breath.
> > >
> > > How do you make a statue of an elephant?
Get a stone, and carve away all that doesn't look like an elephant.
> > >
> > > Why don't elephants laugh?
With all these sickening elephant jokes going around, how can they?
missjane
How do you make an elephant float?
Two scoops of ice cream and an elephant.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
Both of them are purple, except for the elephant.
Raphael
Ack!! I had that book, too! Used to drive everyone crazy with it <G>.
How's about.....
Why do elephants have flat feet? (1)
- From jumping out of palm trees
Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between 2 & 4 in the afternoon?
- That's when elephants are jumping out of palm trees
Why are pygmies so small?
- They went into the jungle between 2 & 4 in the afternoon
What's red & white on the outside and grey on the inside?
- Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup ("Just add milk and RUN!")
What did Charles De Gaulle say when he saw the elephants coming down the
path? (heh, now THIS joke sure dates the book...)
- Voici les elephants!
What did the elephants say when they saw Charles De Gaulle?
- Nothing. Elephants can't talk french.
Why do ducks have flat feet?
- To stamp out burning fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet? (2)
- To stamp out burning ducks
Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Someone stop me!!!!!!!!!
Erin "> (What? Me? Memorize the whole book???)
Richard A. DeCamp
news:19990910212707...@ng-cs1.aol.com...
> In the mood for another elephant joke?
> How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
> There are footprints in the jello :)
...and the jar of country-style peanut butter is empty. :-P
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Richard A. DeCamp
AIM RichFader
ICQ Rich Fader 28605837
Yahoo radecamp
PGP 0x4D7896CB DH/0x9A8CF0CD RSA
TrueToBrad
Steven Dinius
>
> ok I'll bite :)
>
> How do you make an elephant float?
>
> Two scoops of ice cream and an elephant.
Michael E. Kotler
A. You can't get the toilet seat down.
Oil Impressionist
mek...@aol.com (Michael E. Kotler) wrote:
> Q. How do you know if you pass an elephant?
>
> A. You can't get the toilet seat down.
>
DLN Oil Impressionist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is more to Monet than his lilies . . . as if we needed more!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.