The Pessimystics And The Optimystics.
John F. Winston
Here is some levity from a person who sounds like a swami.
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From: S
Subject: News Swami Beyondananda's 2003 State of the Universe
Address a must read!!!
You can always count on Swami Beyondananda to have his finger on
the pulse, with tongue firmly in cheek.
Swami's 2003 State of the Universe Address
By Swami Beyondananda
Hello everybody -- it is great to be here ... and you know what?
We really have no choice. Because no matter where we are, we are
always here. And it is always now. In fact, there's even a book
called 'The Power of Now.' I haven't had time to read it yet, but
I hope to get to it in a later now.
Meanwhile, back in this now, the issue facing the U-ited States,
and indeed the world is, will George Bu-h give in to his Big Iraq
Attack and order up a w-r? Latest reports say that a wa- to force
a regime change in Iraq will cost $200 billion. It is puzzling to
me why some of those fiscal fitness fanatics in the Republican
Party haven't tried to find a cheaper way to do it. Maybe if they
offered the Iraqis half - - $100 billion -- they could do it
themselves. Then we'd still have $100 billion left to spend on
regime change in this country.
Because -- and I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have in
charge are fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the reptilian
brain, problems aren't solved, they're attacked. Like the -ar
on Poverty. Remember that? I'm happy to report that it's finally
over. The poor people have all surrendered. And take the W-r on
Drugs -- please! How many billions have they spent? My solution
is cheaper and more effective ... improve reality!
Now we have the -ar on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize those
terrorists into giving up terrorism if it's the last thing we do!
And it just might be. The good news is -- and I have it on the
Highest Authority -- there will indeed be peace on Earth. Whether
we humans are around to enjoy it, that is up to us.
No wonder there is so much fear, uncertainty and confusion on the
planet. I'll tell you how bad it's gotten. You've heard of
Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Well, they're not even sure
about THAT anymore. And so, more and more people are turning to
the mystics for answers.
I have often said there are two kinds of mystics, the optimystics
and the pessimystics. Now pessimystics seem to be more in touch
with "reality," but optimystics are happier and live longer for some
reason. The pessimystics have been crying, "The sky is falling, the
sky is falling!" The optimystics say, "No. It just looks that way
because we are ascending."
Now, for those people who read the news -- not to mention those
unfortunate enough to BE in the news -- last year was not an easy
year to keep an optimystic attitude with so much pessimystic
evidence. Call me a hopeless 'hopium' addict, but I choose to
accentuate the positive. For example, you can say we human beings
have moved further down the path of self-destruction. Or you could
say the Earth is ridding itself of a virulent parasite.
You can despair over continuing w-r, disease and starvation, or
you can go, "Hey, population control the good, old fashioned way -
without birth control or abortion." Who says "compassionate
conservative" is an oxymoron?
You can worry about the go-ernment taking liberties with our
liberties or you can say, "Life has become simpler! They've boiled
the Bill of Rights down to just one: You have the right to remain
silent."
So I am not going to dwell on the negative. As my guru Harry
Cohen Baba used to say, "Life is like photography ... we use the
negative to develop." So let us look at the bright side.
Like technological advances, for example. Forty years ago
President John F. Ken-edy promised to have a man on the moon by the
end of the 1960s. Well, we have far exceeded that. Thanks to the
so-called Pa-riot Act, George Bu-h can have a man on Uranus by
the end of the week!
George Bus- was responsible for a great spi-itual advance last
year, as well. He upgraded the Golden Rule for the new millennium.
It's now the Gold Rule: "Doo-oo unto others before they can dood-o
unto you."
And -- say what you will -- President Bus- has made great
strides on behalf of minority representation. Never before have
we had a President who was looking out for a smaller minority.
Now this is the State of the Universe Address, and seen from that
higher perspective, things look great! I am happy to report that
the Universe continued to expand in 2002, and in fact, they
actually had to let the Photon Belt out a another notch. An
expanding Universe means more jobs too, so we can expect a steady
influx of aliens looking for work. Yep, the Universe just keeps
purring in perfection, ever- changing as usual. The planets
continue to harmoniously spin in their orbits, and except for the
occasional case of asteroids, they just calmly go about their
business.
Meanwhile, back here on earth, things are a bit more problematical.
We still haven't fully recovered from that vicious dogma attack of
911.
But as an optimystic, I believe you can indeed teach an old dogma
new tricks, simply by changing the emPHAsis to another sylLABle.
Instead of focusing only on emergency measures, why not take
emerge'n SEE measures?
When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from the
cosmic perspective, we realize that beneath all the stress and
distress and sadness in life there is a deep well of joy. Each
time we let laughter bubble up from the well, we experience deep
wellness. Levity helps us overcome gravity, especially when we
shine the light of laughter on those poorly-lit corridors of power.
Do you know what the leading cause of terrorism is? It's
seriousness.
I'm serious. Think about it. Those people have no sense of
humor. Otherwise how could they believe they will get to he-ven by
putting other people through h-ll? Here is my vision: A suicide
bomber arrives at the Gates of He-ven, and Go- clops him over the
head and says, "SCHMUCK! What'd you do that for? 72 virgins? YOU
get one 72- year-old virgin, and his name starts with Ayatollah!"
But if Americans are willing to revive the Iraqi Horror Picture
Show just to feed our out-of-control oil habit, how are we that
different?
How many innocents will be put through he-l, just to preserve our
little corner of relative hea-en? There is no real peace without
harmony and balance, only the vicious cycle of injustice. Peons get
tired of getting p-ed on, right? You get pi-sed on, and pretty soon
you're gonna get pis-ed off. This causes the hot spots to flare,
and pretty soon you have an uprising, which usually results in a
downfall. All these uprisings and downfalls can be wearing on the
body politic.
Fortunately, we do have a choice. One of my favorite stories
recently is about a Native American grandfather talking to his young
grandson.
He tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with
each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness.
The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win,
grandfather?" asks the young boy. "Whichever one I feed," is the
reply.
Every day -- every moment -- we have the choice to feed the wolf
of love or the wolf of fear. It is interesting that we are called
humanKIND. What better time than now to find out, can mankind
treat man kindly?
I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision. I say, if you're
dissatisfied with the current programming, you can turn off your TV
and tell a vision instead. Here is my vision: Remember the
Manhattan Project during World War II? It took less than four
years for a group of scientists to develop the first weapon of
mass destruction. My vision is, we can do even better for an even
worthier goal. We could call it the Manhelpin Project, and its
purpose would be to develop the first weapon of mass construction
instead.
Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set to
detonate in Iraq, and put it toward becoming the worldwide leader
in renewable, clean, sustainable energy sources? Now there's
some real power.
Create something so plentiful you don't have to pay an ar-y to
protect your share. A healthy income, a healthy outcome ... what
could possibly make more sense? Boy, talk about feeding two birds
with one scone!
The choice is up to us. If we want an alternative, we must feed
the "alter native" economy ... anything that alters us natives for
the better. The world we live in is a byproduct of the products
we buy, is it not? What if we only choose to buy products with
healthy byproducts? Think about this: There are at least 45
million Americans who consciously want to feed the wolf of peace.
If each of us switched just $100 into the alter native economy,
that would be $4.5 billion!
Last year, we launched a blisskrieg and declared "all out
peace." I'm happy to report it is already working. More people
are letting their inner peace out, and these outbreaks of peace
are actually causing esteem to rise! And we all know that rising
esteem is good for the atmosphere. As esteem rises, more people on
the planet will be able to be all that they can be -- without
joining the ar-y. And when more of us put our energy into love and
laughter instead of criticizing and condemning, we will have
Uncritical Mass ... and we will bring about Nonjudgment Day, and
along with it, Disarmaggedon. Now you might be wondering, what
will Nonjudgment Day look like? Let me tell another vision.
I have been to the heights of levity, and I have seen people all
over the world dancing together in the universal dance of fool
-----alization ... The Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold this vision
with me: all of the world leaders at the Un-ted Nations beginning
their sessions with the Hokey Pokey. What if Ariel Sharon and
Yasser Arafat put their whole selves in it? That would be
commitment. And then pulled their whole selves out. That is
detachment. Then they turn themselves around, which is
transformation. And that, my friends, is what it is all about!
So, how can you help raise the laugh force on the planet enough
to bring about Non-judgment Day? First, you can take a vow of
levity, and laugh more. And we even have a Laughmore Society to
help you do just that. Next, you can support everyone's right
to laugh by joining the Right To Laugh Party ... "One big party,
everyone is invited. All for fun, and fun for all."
Commit random acts of comedy. Practice Fun Shui and leave the
world a funnier place. Anything to elicit a moment of
fool-realization with a spark of laughter. Because only when we
lovingly laugh at our foolishness, can we seriously change things
for the better. May you wake up laughing and leave laughter in
your wake ... and may the Farce be with you!
(c) Copyright 2003 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. To
find out more about the Swami, and how you can promote healing
laughter and transformational comedy through the Laughmore
Society and the Right-To-Laugh movement, go to
www.wakeuplaughing.com or call Swami's hotline at 1-800-SWAMI-BE.
John Winston john...@mlode.com
zebrin
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Zebrin