Sometimes I can't supress the typical female feelings like a sense of colours and creativity
David
Whenever I hear a comment like this I remember a short article from a
newspaper
I once read. They interviewed a man who had set up a "homosexual self-help
group". It turned out to be that it was a group where you could learn "to
get
rid of" your homosexuality. The man itself said it had helped him a lot. The
interviewer asked if he never had a "collapse". The man answered: "well,
sometimes I can't suppress the typical female feelings like a sense of
colours
and creativity".
*******
What a useful phrase! A friend of mine and I still tease each other with a
line from a 1977 article in "Blueboy" titled "Are We All Trash?"
The line? "Our acid tongues are the scourge of every cocktail party."
We also have another one, but it's of more limited use. It's "Excuse me, are
you aware that you're naked?"
A friend had a big overnight party at his ski lodge. There weren't enough
rooms for everyone, but those without were welcome to sprawl out in the
living room, or wherever. This wasn't a sex party, and everyone without a
room was fully dressed. Long after most people were asleep my boyfriend,
friend and I were sitting on the sofa trashing everyone who wasn't there or
was asleep, when a not terribly attractive naked guy strode boldly through
the living room to get to the kitchen. This man, I must stress, was not a
resident of the house, he was a guest.
But he carried it off with such panache (imagine being unattractive and the
only naked guy in a group of 50 gay men whose, as we know, acid tongues are
the scourge of every cocktail party) and such seeming obliviousness to his
state that I was compelled to ask, "Excuse me, but are you aware you're
naked?"
His reply, if any, has been lost to time, or possibly to the gales of
giggles from our merry trio, but to this day neither my friend nor myself
can see the other even partially-nude, even under circumstances where nudity
is expected, such as a locker room, without asking the question.
Anyone else have some silly in-jokes they'd care to share?
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{{{{{LCM}}}}}
David wrote in message <79l2ml$sa2$0...@dosa.alt.net>...
(I've snipped David's post, darlings - it was tremendous, of course - but
I've got these scissors and, well, I'm out of control.)
>
>Anyone else have some silly in-jokes they'd care to share?
>
>--
>| Looking for a flame-war free *FUN* newsgroup? Try alt.culture.fabulous
>| E-mail: d a v i d at s h o w b u zz n e t dot c o m
In jokes? Well, my old friend Kaye and I have a lot of phrases we've used
over the years, as do Pegs and I. Here's a few...
LCM's Highly Official List Of Things Kaye And LCM Say That Mean Not So Much
To Anyone Else, But We Find Endlessly Amusing:
"RUN LIKE A WHORE!!!"
(this is something I said to Kaye once when we were crossing the street and
the little white man turned to a red hand, and I decided it was suddenly a
life-threatening situation. Anyway, any time now that we want the other
person to hurry up a bit, regardless of the setting, you exclaim this line)
"SPLASH ME, YOU SON OF A WHOOOOOR!!!!" (in an outraged Cape Breton accent)
(one time Kaye and I were waiting at a corner in the rain, and a group of
staid office workers were around us, and a car went by and *almost* splashed
Kaye, and without warning she raised her arm in the air, brandishing her
umbrella and bellowed this - I was so surprised I just started to howl with
laughter - and everyone around us stepped back *many* paces - it was
hilarious! Anyway, now we say it for any occasion where there's been a minor
"slight" - the more minor the better)
"Me, me, me - *my* hair's on fire." (in a tired tone or in an excited tone)
(this indicates one of two things - if you say it to another person
directly, it means you think they're hogging too much of the conversation
and they should settle down - if you say if in a exclaimation sort of way to
a group, it means you have something fabulous to say, and so everyone should
pipe down and listen)
"You couldn't/can't swing a dead cat, darling..."
(this indicates there were/are a lot of gay people in the room - the end of
the line is "without hitting one" but it's uneccesary to finish it,
obviously)
"Amsterdam." (in a throaty, Deitrich tone or sing-song tone, depending who
you mean)
(originally it was to indicate someone was a lesbian - but it quickly came
to mean gay as well, so it was a Deitrich tone for lesbian and sing-song
tone for gay)
"Crrreamy - *veddy* crrreamy"
(remember the old Helman's commerical, darlings? With the two older women
from Scotland? Anyway, you say it in that sort of tongue-rolling tone and it
indicates you find someone exceptionally attractive)
"Ma lil' magnolia's turned into a big 'ho" (said in a bad southern accent)
(This was a line from the Golden Girls - Sofia was pretending to be
Blanche's mother, and walked into a room where Blanche was kissing someone
who she shouldn't have been. Anyway, this was something invariably said in a
"morning after" discussion of the previous night's shinanegan's - as we're
both hopeless flirts and/or sluts.)
Oh there's a million more, darlings, but those are just the ones I remember
immediately. Pegs and I have a few ourselves...
LCM's Highly Official List Of Things That Mean Something To Him And Pegs,
But Not So Many Other People
"Certain death" (in a dead-pan sort of way)
This is something we say if we're in the passenger seat and we're turning
into traffic, and we want the driver to know there's a car coming)
"Oh it's going to be the most fun ever!" (excited tone)
We say this about *anything* and *everything* from going to a gala party, to
doing our laundry and clipping our toenails. In fact things are only ever
"the most fun ever" or "the flop of all time." There's really no inbetween.
"You're my new best friend"
You say this if you're trying to get someone - anyone - to do something for
you.
"What a good dancer!"
(or, conversely - what a crummy dancer! This means the person is either good
or rotten in bed. Good dancers are good in bed - it's just a fact,
darlings.)
"Well, *I've* never been to 'me'"
(something you say when a conversation is so boring you might scream if it
doesn't change topics.)
Gosh - there are so many - I can't think of them right now. In-jokes are
just the best, sweeties - they really do indicate a history with someone,
and I adore when I realize I've got a new one with a new person - it's a
real bonding moment, and I invariably draw attention to it so they know
they're officially accepted into a higher level of my sphere.
Ah - Memories...
{{{{{LCM}}}}}
Centre of the Known Universe
http://members.aol.com/LCMandPINK
Frank M. Miller
=Anyone else have some silly in-jokes they'd care to share?
I have three, two with a friend I've long since lost touch with, one
that's only a week old, but promises to go on working for a long time.
"Nobody's safe when we're around."
My friend and I were big Gilbert and Sullivan fans, and in our youth,
would skip around town singing our favorites ditties. Of course, we
didn't always get he lyrics right. On my first visit to him during his
year in Chicago, we were dancing down the streets trying to sing "Three
Little Maids From School," but instead of the line "Nobody's safe for we
care for none," we both sang "Nobody's safe when we're around," realized
our mistake, then burst out laughing. From then on, it was our way of
announcing tha t we we're going on the town.
"I Chased my Socks."
I taught an acting class that included covering phonetics. On the final,
I had the students put titles of great movies into phonetics, then
translate phonetic transcriptions of bad movie titles. One was "Glen or
Glenda, Or I Changed My Sex," only one student transcribed it as "I Chased
my Socks," which became our code description whenever either of us saw a
man we considered particularly hot.
"I'm Kimberly Alexis, and I have some medical news."
This started last week, when Ms. Alexis did one of her commercials for
Gynolotrisone during the Golden Globes. She started the spot, and I said
, "I have a yeast infection." Then I added a few choice descriptions. My
roommate, Mo, the mad Egyptian, couldn't stop laughing, so now, if I want
to set him off, all I have to say is "I'm Kimberly Alexis, and I have some
medical news."
+==============================================================+
Frank Miller, 10086 Sunset Blvd., FABville
frnklin at mindspring dot com (please note correct email address, albeit spelled out)
Atlanta, GA
For the best in video reviews, visit me at http://www.showbuzznet.com/frank.htm
+==============================================================+
PRINCESSPK
In article <79ldgn$2bb$1...@news.auaracom.net>, "{{{{{LCM}}}}}"
<ccro...@auracom.com> writes:
Dahling, how perfectly adorable that you have found SO many *other* insane
people to chum about with! Doesn't National Health provide for sanitariums?
Pity.
Reigning and Deigning
Pink Wishes
The Princess \^*^*^/
An evil queen, a beautiful princess, a hunky hero, and a story you will never
forget, what's not to love?
Experience the true evil of Vanity personified:
http://www.QueenOfCold.com
TweedleDum and TweedleDiva:
http://members.aol.com/LCMandPINK
pine...@lcc.net
<NOSPAM.frnklin-...@user-38lcpc4.dialup.mindspring.com>,
> In article <79l2ml$sa2$0...@dosa.alt.net>, "David" <da...@see.sig> wrote:
>
> =Anyone else have some silly in-jokes they'd care to share?
No naked people in mine, but the human protagonist is gay, albeit
good looking.
"He LIIIKES to be held"
One night before I moved cross country, my friend came by to
have last drink with me and my S.O. At one point, the friend
made to pick up my cat, Albert. Albert is a good cat, but he
was freaked by all the moving hoopla and was racing around
like an idiot. We warned our friend not to pick him up, but
he did, saying "He liiikes to be held." At that moment Albert
went *BLAT* and barfed all over our friend. So now it has become
a catch phrase with us whenever we or someone else is about to
do something terribly unwise. Albert outgrew barfing on
strangers who handle him unexpectedly, now he farts (which he
may very well have done all along, but the barfing so overwhelmed the
situation we never noticed).
Pinecone
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
David
>like an idiot. We warned our friend not to pick him up, but
>he did, saying "He liiikes to be held." At that moment Albert
>went *BLAT* and barfed all over our friend. So now it has become
>a catch phrase with us whenever we or someone else is about to
>do something terribly unwise.
Similarly, in my family, there was a cousin of my grandmother's (or possibly
from the generation before hers) who was always forgetting to button up his
pants (this was before zippers were used in men's pants).
This man's name, much like Loupe Valez', has never been forgotten. 100 years
after his death, his name lives on in my family as a discreet way of letting
one of us know that he has neglected to zip up.
I would share his name with all of you, and thus truly ensure his
immortality but
1. I can't come up with a good phonetic spelling of his name.
2. If the whole world knows, it won't be discreet anymore.
I understand LCM's family has a similar method of letting him know he's
neglected to zip up. It's shouting "For Chrissake, stop pissing on me. Not
everything shiny and white is a urinal. Sometimes it's a bride!"
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PRINCESSPK
In article <79r7jd$ojj$0...@dosa.alt.net>, "David" <da...@see.sig> writes:
>I understand LCM's family has a similar method of letting him know he's
>neglected to zip up. It's shouting "For Chrissake, stop pissing on me.
^^^^^^^^^^PINKing shear snippage^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That's not true, some of them *like* it.
{{{{{LCM}}}}}
David wrote in message <79r7jd$ojj$0...@dosa.alt.net>...
><pine...@lcc.net> wrote in message news:79ogcf$cbs$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com...
>>like an idiot. We warned our friend not to pick him up, but
>>he did, saying "He liiikes to be held." At that moment Albert
>>went *BLAT* and barfed all over our friend. So now it has become
>>a catch phrase with us whenever we or someone else is about to
>>do something terribly unwise.
>
>Similarly, in my family, there was a cousin of my grandmother's (or
possibly
>from the generation before hers) who was always forgetting to button up his
>pants (this was before zippers were used in men's pants).
>
>This man's name, much like Loupe Valez', has never been forgotten. 100
years
>after his death, his name lives on in my family as a discreet way of
letting
>one of us know that he has neglected to zip up.
>
>I would share his name with all of you, and thus truly ensure his
>immortality but
>
>1. I can't come up with a good phonetic spelling of his name.
>2. If the whole world knows, it won't be discreet anymore.
>
>everything shiny and white is a urinal. Sometimes it's a bride!"
Now darling, you *know* any bride in *my* family wouldn't be wearing white -
unless of course they were literally wearing a urinal - and those sorts of
marriages hardly ever last past "last call for alcohol" anyway.
In any event, sweeties, I thought of another in-joke between Kaye and
myself!
"Click your heels for Jesus!"
It means you've had sex, are planning to have sex, or are in the process of
having sex. And of course one clicks behind one's head.
Sending All The Usual Love,
Frank M. Miller
<ccro...@auracom.com> wrote:
=Now darling, you *know* any bride in *my* family wouldn't be wearing white -
=unless of course they were literally wearing a urinal - and those sorts of
=marriages hardly ever last past "last call for alcohol" anyway.
=
=In any event, sweeties, I thought of another in-joke between Kaye and
=myself!
=
="Click your heels for Jesus!"
=
=It means you've had sex, are planning to have sex, or are in the process of
=having sex. And of course one clicks behind one's head.
We had a great one back in my social service days (and no, I did not work
with Jane Addams at Hull House):
"That's about as effective as a fart in a mitten."
The full phrase is, "That's about as effective as a fart in a mitten when
your hands are cold." The agency I worked for was located in a
neighborhood center whose manager was a big pain in the butt. One day, he
or somebody said something about how effective he was as a force for good
in the community. Said speaker left, and one of the social workers
quipped, "Yeah, he's about as effective as a fart in a mitten." From then
on, we used the phrase constantly. I'm also convinced that the social
workers there created the phrase, "Yadada, Yadada, deet, deet, deet" as a
substitute for "etcetera" or "and so he/she said" that turned up years
later on "Seinfeld."