[News] Midget Movie-Extra From "Return of Tayla's Crotch"
Cheetah
> Former Ewok Unhappy With Rabid Star Wars Fans
> James O'Riley knows how Sir Alec Guiness feels. O'Riley played an Ewok extra
> in the third installment of the Star Wars trilogy, "Return of the Jedi", and
> instead of it being a spring board for stardom, it has made his life a
> living Hell.
> "Those damn people won't leave me alone!", O'Riley said in such a cute,
> child-like voice. "Thanks to Star Wars fans, I've only been offered roles
> consisting of me dressing up as cute little animals. Nobody thinks I can be
> a leading man, which I know I have the talent for. Heck, look at Keanu
> Reeves. Put him in a movie where he dresses in all black and spouts a bunch
> of nonsensical geeky crappola, and everyone calls him a star. That man
> couldn't act his way into a gay porn!"
> When O'Riley eventually stopped accusing every leading man in Hollywood of
> wanting to be in gay porn, he revealed some of the more bizarre mail from
> rabid, smelly Star Wars fans. One was a letter from a couple wanting him to
> dress up as an Ewok for a fetish party they were throwing. "I bet Ben
> Affleck showed up their and had gay sex!", O'Riley added. O'Riley mentions
> one particular incident when a parent asked him to talk to her son. "You
> see, this kid loved Star Wars, so I set him straight. I told him if it
> wasn't for Star Wars, I'd be a teen heart throb, instead of that girly
> Leonardo DiCaprio. I tried to get his mother to prove my point by making out
> with me, but she just called the cops. I bet she's on of those bleeding
> heart, girly boy lovin' mom's I heard about on Rush Limbaugh!"
> O'Riley did have one thing to say to all the anti-social Star Wars virgins
> of the world. "Look, take a shower, and let movie producers know how manly I
> am. Not like that little girl like a like Matt Damon! And vote Buchanan in
> 2000!"
Fucking ROTFLMGDMFAOFH&H!!!! ..hahahahaha..
(You're the slide rule to mine Abacus... I can ALWAYS count on you!)
=)
Just don't let Wes, Tayla, Emperor or Scoop catch wind of this, they
already have these insufferably high opinions of themselves...
> -Çheetah!-
. Virtual Dyslexia!: http://www.primenet.com/~ccheetah/index.htm
. 8==========##<^>##==========8 8==========##<^>##==========8
> Star Wars Trivial: http://mercury.beseen.com/quizlet/r/17378/quizlet.js
> Star Trek Trivial: http://mercury.beseen.com/quizlet/m/30788/quizlet.js
> JRTolkien Trivial: http://mercury.beseen.com/quizlet/m/30784/quizlet.js
. 8==========##<^>##==========8 8==========##<^>##==========8
"It's not wise to undo a Wookiee's pants..."
"There's no mystical force controlling MY pants!"
"You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought!"
"Would it help if I got out of my pants & pushed?" "It might!!"
"Ancient weapons & Hokey religions are no match for a good blaster in
your pants.."
Phillip A. Kallas
Cheetah <RalphVonWauWau@hot_mail.com> wrote in message
news:37D9B845.2AF37A77@hot_mail.com...
One day, oh hope beyond all hope, I hope I can be a calculator some day.
Until then, I can settle with slide rule.
>
> =)
>
> Just don't let Wes, Tayla, Emperor or Scoop catch wind of this, they
> already have these insufferably high opinions of themselves...
I'm still waiting for one of them to send me some massive computer virus. or
at least a flame. At least I hope so, anyway.
--
Phillip A. Kallas, The Original Dictator Wannabe(Don't mind me, it's the
watered down beer talking.)
http://members.xoom.com/pakallas/index.html
Member of the RASSM Hall of Fame, and not much else
"Your focus determines your reality."-Qui-Gon Jinn, The Phantom Menace
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It will be a hard life, one without reward, without remorse, without regret
A path will be placed before you
The choice is yours alone
Do what you think you cannot do
It will be a hard life
But you will find out, who you are
Qui-Gon Jinn, One Destiny.
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