MSTed: Suppressed Moon Evidence Revealed!

[John Nevins]

My MSTing: Electric Booga-what?

>Path:sundog.tiac.net!news.kei.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!in2.u
u.net!van-bc!unixg.ubc.ca!jamesjs

Tom: Does anyone out there have a Popeye-English translator
handy?

>From: jam...@unixg.ubc.ca (James Shannon)

Crow: Well - he's a new name.
Mike: Let's give him a chance, guys - you never know.

>Newsgroups:alt.alien.visitors,sci.space.shuttle,alt.paranet.ufo,
alt.cospiracy

Tom: That's it, Mike. He's dogmeat now.
Mike: Right. Tee off, guys.

>Subject: SUPPRESSED MOON EVIDENCE REVEALED! 03/21/96

Crow: This is going to hurt, isn't it, Mike?
Mike: Maybe it's a post about Warren Moon?
Tom: Great. So we get to read about a wife-beater instead of
a conspiracy? Great, Mike, just great - way to
cheer us up.

>Date: 17 Mar 1996 07:23:14 GMT
>Organizatio: University of British Columbia, Vancouver, B.C.,
Canada

Crow: The Harvard of the Northwest, I believe.
Mike: Did you mean that as a compliment, Crow?
Crow: No.

>Lines: 187

Mike, Tom and Crow all make sighing noises.
Mike: I knew the short ones were too good to last.

>Message-ID: <4igel2$j...@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: interchg.ubc.ca
>Keywords:
> THE MARS MISSION

Tom: To boldly find any women we can.
Mike: We made that joke last time, Tom.
Tom: We did? Let me check my script here...
Crow: SSSHHHHH!

> ______________________________________________________________
>
> 03/14/96 For Immediate Release

Crow: Oh, *don't* hold it back for *one* minute longer, James.

>X-Newseader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
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sci.space.shuttle:41955 alt.paranet.ufo:60497 alt.conspiracy:168959

_______________________________________________________________


FORMER NASA SCIENTISTS AND ENGINEERS TO ANNOUNCE INWASHINGTON
ANALYSIS OF 30-YEAR-OLD SUPPRESSED EVIDENCE REVEALING
ANCIENT ARTIFICIAL STRUCTURES ON MOON

Mike: They've discovered the long-lost rides for DisneyMoon!

PHOTOS SHOW ASTRONAUTS WALKING AMID APPARENT LUNAR RUINS,
ON "LEAKED" NASA AND SOVIET SPACE PHOTOGRAPHS

Tom: (jock voice) Yeah, that's when Buzz and Neal had done
kill-drills on the kegger and were too blitzed to
find the can...huh huh, whooo, huh huh...

RESEARCHERS TO CHALLENGE WHITE HOUSE TO "PEN NASA FILES"

Crow: Penn Jillette's here? *panicked* NOOOO!
Mike: Easy, boy, easy, it's only a post - you can't actually
_hear_ his voice, he can't hurt you.

SUGGEST DELIBERATE 30-YEAR-OLD SUPERPOWER COVERUP BASED ON
OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT REPORT WHICH WARNED "CIVILIZATION COULD
COLLAPSE"

Mike: For a preview, visit downtown Detroit.

EVIDENCE THROWS NEW LIGHT ON NAGGING QUESTION: "WHAT REALLY
HAPPENED TO APOLLO 13?"

Tom: Well, it starred Tom Hanks and Kevin Bacon, for
starters....
Crow: Hey! I liked that film.
_________________________________________________________________

Former NASA scientists, engineers and other researchers, under the
aegis of The Mars Mission -- a grassroos

Crow: Grassroos? Well, I have some underroos - is that the
same thing?
Tom: Yes, only they scratch more.
Crow: Ow....

space research and policy group of specialists and citizens -- will
hold a major press briefing, THURSDAY, MARCH 21, 1996 at the
National Press Club in Washington D.C.

Mike: They'd better hold it in the afternoon, or all the press
guys will be too drunk to pay attention.

In the planned two-hour event, beginning at 9:00 AM, detailed
scientific analysis of possible ancient artificial structures --

Tom: So they'll be examining Joan Collins' current face?

found on hundreds of archived NASA and Soviet lunar photographs,
and thousands of feet f original motion picture film -- will be
presented, using state-of-te-art computer and video graphic
systems.

Mike: The vindication of Abraham Zapruder.

This material -- some of it held in a university archive outside
NASA

Crow: (Southern voice) At the Jim and John Paul Weaver Drive-
Through School of Aerio-naw-tics and Space Reeee-
search! You too can become a fully trained as-tro-
not in less than one hour! We have only the best
instructors in our sprawling thirty-foot facility,
so come on down now and join the ranks of the best
as-tro-nots that Amurrica has to offer!

for almost a quarter of a century -- is part of a continuing Mars
Mission investigation into possible "suppressed" NASA solar system
findings, based on a highly controversial warning containe in a
36-year-old government report.

Tom: The Solar System is made from people!

The Mars Mission's major scientific and political conclusions,

Crow: That a giant rabbit named Harvey has been sabotaging our
space program. Jimmy Stewart has refused to
comment on this.

to be illustrated with extensive NASA and Soviet lunar photography
at the press briefing:

Mike: Crayon and pen-and-ink drawings courtesy of Mrs.
Johnson's 4th grade class.

"hese official mission films --

Tom: Taken on days when the boys weren't snapping shots of the
sunbathers on Venice Beach,

analyzed over a period of four years, via scientific techniques and
computer technologies literally unavailable even to NASA 30 years
ago

Crow: (3M announcer's voice) Kodak Drive-Through Booths -
America's edge in the space race!

(when the original photographs were taken) -- now provide
compelling scientific evidence for the presence of ancient
artificial structures on the Moon.

Mike: Man, those Japanese will play golf _anywhere_.

Further, it is now apparent that the entire purpose of President
John F. Kennedy's sudden, all-ut Apollo Program to land Americans
on the Moon within ten years was to

Mike: Impress Marilyn.

send Amerian astronauts directly to these ruins, to record them on
film, and to bring back

Tom: Bread, butter, cheese, milk, eggs, peanut butter, and
toilet paper.

physical evidence (including manufactured artifacts) for analysis
on Earth.

According to Richard C. Hoagland,

Crow: Oh great...him again.

head of the Mars Mission and 1993 winner of the International
Angstrom Medal for Excellence in Science,

Tom: Hey, Mike, isn't that the medal that came in
certain boxes of Captain Crunch?
Mike: Yeah, I found like four of those.

who began this intensive examination of NASA and Soviet lunar
photograph four years ago as part of the research organization's

Mike: Attempt to emulate Chuck Berry.

on-going "Mars" investigation, the answer to the question, "Why
NASA cover-up of such extraordinary information?"

Crow: Jeez, it sounds like Tor Johnson is doing the asking.
Tom: (Tor Johnson voice) Time for shred documents.

is simple, if not tragic:

Tom: Why did you cover this up, Master Thespian?
Crow: (Master Thespian voice) Acting!

"Look at that New York Times headline;

Mike: "Headless Body in Topless Bar."
Tom: No, Mike, that was the Post. The headline was "Stix Nix
Hix Pix."
Crow: Sorry, Tom, that was Variety. He's thinking of "Evil
and Original Sin: Why It's All Clinton's Fault."
Mike: No, Crow, I think that was the Washington Times. I think
the headline was "Ronald Reagan: The Greatest Man
Who Ever Lived."
Tom: I think that was the Wall Street Journal. Maybe it was
"Drone Drone Drone Blah Blah Blah?"
Crow: Yeah, that sounds like the Times.

would you reveal the very thing that the best and the brightest
NASA could assemble at the dawn of the Space Age

Crow: Was a $1.2 million dollar space toilet.

warned could literally collapse civilization: namely, hard physical
ruins left by a race of obviously superior beings -- and in our
proverbial back yard, to boot?!

Mike: The next time one of you two scamps is bad, I'm going to
make you do a grammar chart of that sentence.
Tom and Crow: (in unison) We'll be good!

We are 30 years behind where we would have been -- if NASA

Tom: Was run by private industry?

had been allwed to tell us what they found, at the time these
photographs were taken.

Crow: Unfortunately, they left the lens cap on.

Imagine the future we would be lving now,

Tom: Is AT&T going to bring it to us?
Crow: God, I hope not.

the discoveries, the scientific and environmental advances the
world would be sharing,

Crow: Cars that run on cheese!
Tom: Ooh, yeah, the new outfits Barbie might be wearing.
Mike: The fully bionic Kirby Puckett.
Crow: The mechanized Wonder Bra.
Tom: Low-grav Isaac Mizrahi dresses!

if fear, coupled with blind and misplaced adherence to authority
hadn't intervened ..."

Tom: So it *is* the Republicans' fault?

Hoagland hints that, in addition to the remarkable imaging data on
the artifacts,

Mike: Well on the level of the Hubble telescope.

at the press briefing there could be some major political
surprises:

Crow: Newt Gingrich will reveal that he really doesn't think
much of the Democrats.

"We have evidence that some of the astronauts themselves have
attempted to change this 30-yearold policy. But, because they are
'good soldiers',

Mike: Schweik was an astronaut?

their efforts have been behind the scenes. We are considering
presenting this evidence as well.

Tom: (annoying geek voice) Stop laughing at me, you guys -
look at my evidence - hey, give me back my glasses!

"It's time for this President to bite the bullet, to open NASA's
files on all of this, and come clean."

Crow: Talk about mixing your metaphors!

For reasons of security, prticipants in the press briefing -- some
of whom currently work on "black projects"

Mike: More evidence of the infiltration of NASA by the Goths.

for major aerospace companies under direct contract to the U.S.
government -- will not be revealed, until shortly before

Tom: The release of the next Star Wars film.

the briefing on the 21st; however, the list of participants does
currently include geologists, former NASA engineers, photographic
experts, lunar construction engineers, architects, and
investigative reporters,

Crow: Traci Lords, Pia Zadora, Adam West, William Shatner, and
Mike Ditka.

Extensive documentation, including hardcopy imaging of specific
NASA astronauts "amid the ruins," will be handed out on Thursday.

Mike: So the astronauts visited Shelly Long's career?
Crow: Is it over, Mike? Can we go home now?
Mike: Yes, Crow, you can.
Crow and Tom bolt for the door.

jess, with thanks to Christine

[John and Susan Hutchins]

kal...@tiac.net (John Nevins) wrote:

> My MSTing: Electric Booga-what?
>

ROTFLMAO! But, boy, is Richard Frager going to be pissed!