ROSEMARY NEWTON, VINCENT BUGLIOSI, AND A KOOK NAMED HEALY
David Von Pein
A KOOK NAMED HEALY GUSHED:
>>> "There is NO Rosemary [Newton]. His [DVP's] pathological need created her[,] like he created his pathetic 'composite' persona. End of story." <<<
DVP SAID:
I'll be sure to inform Rosemary that she was never born. In fact, I'm
going to dash off an e-mail to her tonight, because I want her to see
for herself that there really ARE mega-kooks like David G. Healy in
this world.
However, it might be hard for Rosemary to believe that there are nuts
that are as retarded as Mr. Healy in our world. I sometimes have a
hard time believing that people like Healy exist myself.
Anyway, as I've mentioned to Mr. Crackpipe (that's Mr. Healy) in a
previous post, Vincent Bugliosi's secretary, Rosemary Newton, has
almost a whole page written about her in VB's book "Reclaiming
History". It's Page #1,514.
I guess Vince B. must have "created" the same person I did, huh?
No, wait a second!
Oh, that's right!
~slaps forehead~
I AM Vince Bugliosi, aren't I, Mr. Healy?!!
I keep forgetting about the fact that Healy (just last month, in fact)
was of the very firm opinion that I (DVP of Indiana) was, indeed,
really Vincent T. Bugliosi of Los Angeles, California. Let's have a
look, and a good laugh:
"c'mon Vince.... we KNOW its [sic] you, you old slime bucket
you. And hiding behind a ghost secretary, yet -- shame on you. We
understand you've taken a major defeat, the publishing disaster of the
century fer christsakes. You'll get over it Vinnie, you're all washed
up hon, time to put it out to pasture.... Old Mark Lane would drive
you to insanity, dance around you like you weren't even there..... ya
see Vin, that's the problem with doing a "book of the
century" (sic)....You're a joke Vin, er Dave Von Pein and we know you
haven't the nads to show up here under your real name -- so you just
just hide behind that secretary that doesn't exist - we won't tell a
soul, promise." -- David G. Healy; April 20, 2009
Here's the original source link for the above batch of hilarious
nonsense:
www.google.com/group/alt.conspiracy.jfk/msg/d9eb07b15c166e5d
Who's got the industrial-sized "LOL" icon today? I need it now--real
bad!
David Von Pein
Subject: A Good Laugh
Date: 5/23/2009 12:28:43 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: David Von Pein
To: Rosemary Newton
------------------------------
Hi again Rosemary,
I just now finished writing a short Internet post to a very strange
member of the alt.conspiracy.jfk newsgroup (a Mr. David G. Healy).
This same Mr. Healy, incredibly, evidently has some of his writings
regarding "Zapruder Film fakery" printed up in one of James Fetzer's
three JFK-related books of fantasy.
Anyway, Healy is of the opinion that you, Rosemary, don't exist at
all. You, evidently, were "created" by me. You're nothing but a
"ghost".
How about that? I'll bet it comes as a bit of a shock to you to find
out that you were never even born, huh Rosemary? (LOL.)
So, I thought I'd jot you this quick e-mail so that you can read some
of the stupid things that are being said by some very strange people
on the Internet "airwaves" (one very strange person named Healy, in
particular). Healy's username on the newsgroup is "aeffects".
Anyhow, I hope you get as big a laugh out of this nonsense as I
invariably do every time I lock horns with "aeffects" (Mr. Healy).
Here's the link:
www.google.com/group/alt.conspiracy.jfk/msg/024e3d3702836837
If you'd like to print out the above post for Mr. Bugliosi to see, I
think he would get a kick out of it. It will certainly provide him
with his "Laugh Of The Day", that's for sure. :)
Best regards always,
David Von Pein
=================================================
Subject: Re: A Good Laugh
Date: 5/23/2009 1:49:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Rosemary Newton
To: David Von Pein
------------------------------
Hi Dave,
Mr. Healey [sic] is insinuating I wasn't born? For his information, I
WAS born! (in God's country, Brooklyn, New York). And as the well-
known philosopher (maybe he's not into philosophy) Decartes wrote: "I
think, therefore I am." So as far as I know, having lived a few
decades (not stating) I can say, without hesitation, I am thinking and
thus, alive.
Now that we have that settled, down to serious business (although I
really can't stop laughing). I have been working for Vincent Bugliosi
since 1997, having transcribed (in addition to other work) "No Island
of Sanity," "Betrayal of America," "Reclaiming History," and "The
Prosecution of George W Bush For Murder."
You may want to refer him to Dale Myers' "Lifton's Ghost" on the
internet. But then, again, maybe Dale Myers doesn't exist.
I'm still pinching myself to see if I'm alive,
Rosemary
=================================================
Subject: Re: A Good Laugh
Date: 5/24/2009 12:05:22 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: David Von Pein
To: Rosemary Newton
------------------------------
Hi again Mrs. Ghost (er, I mean Rosemary), :)
Oh, Mr. Healy thinks Dale Myers exists alright, but Healy thinks (as
almost all conspiracy-loving kooks do) that Mr. Myers is nothing but a
liar and a fraud. And many conspiracy theorists also believe that
people like Dale Myers and Vincent Bugliosi are Government-sponsored
"shills", being paid millions of dollars to spread the "lies" that
were started by the Warren Commission.
Those are the kind of conspiracy kooks I see daily all over the
Internet.
And since you brought up Dale Myers' excellent Internet article
("Lifton's Ghost"), I'll be sure to link that article in another one
of my online messages very soon (along with your very good personal
reply to Mr. Lifton from 2007).
I think it's a good idea to resurrect those articles every now and
then [they are linked below]. And Mr. Myers' closing remarks in his
2007 "Lifton's Ghost" article sum things up very nicely indeed:
"Lifton's problem is not Bugliosi's book or the secret gaggle of
authors who supposedly wrote the master's work for him. David Lifton's
problem is himself. As long as he continues to haunt the fringes of
rational thought we can expect to be entertained with more ridiculous
and unfounded accusations." -- Dale K. Myers; July 5, 2007
www.jfkfiles.blogspot.com/2007/07/liftons-ghost.html
www.google.com/group/alt.assassination.jfk/browse_thread/thread/fbd56181ee3c6af1
www.google.com/group/alt.assassination.jfk/msg/0e979f2e0dcef694
Thanks again for your e-mails, Rosemary. I always enjoy hearing from
you (even if you are only a "ghost"). ~grin~
Best regards,
David Von Pein
=================================================
aeffects
his younger brother...
Ghost VonPein, simply, no one believes a damn word you say. Here's
your reality son, Vin Bugliosi is far and above your station, he's has
nothing for you nor does his imaginary secretary. These figments of
your imagination are nothing more than that, figments of your
imagination. You simply can't produce Bugliosi's secretary, if you
could, there'd be something to squawk about. Any hopes of delivering
Bugliosi to his peers or confrontational media types is fraught with
professional peril.... you can't do any heavy lifting troll, you're a
ghost.... Myer's and Reclaiming History could'nt get the job done,
what makes you think YOU can? Even Hanks/HBO is out to lunch on
this..... ROTFLMFAO!
So David me-boy, you finally have something to prove here, Ms. Newton
[sic] knows how to find members of the media if she needs to (that's
part of her job dipshit - that's of course if she exists), it should
be very very simple to have her contact Dr. Jim Fetzer or me (if you
need an email address I can provide that to you, your attorney or
Bugliosi's agent, they can arrange a phone meeting with me and Ms.
Newton to discuss YOUand Vin B. Just a media interview son, Vin can
provide an attorney for Ms. Newton, hell, even for you, to consult
too, no problemo! Make it happen son! How do YOU spell C-R-E-D-I-B-I-L-
I-T-Y?
What you Ghost VonPein, need to realize is this: there are CT's out
there that are open to facts, testimony and evidence (both old and
NEW) -- and that includes Oswald and his 'knowingly or unknowingly'
participation in matters concerning both before and 11/22/63.... the
WCR blew it, why is Bugliosi's rehashing of the same old WCR any
different?
This is larger by multiples than any Hanks/HBO mini docu series.
> www.google.com/group/alt.assassination.jfk/browse_thread/thread/fbd56...
>
> www.google.com/group/alt.assassination.jfk/msg/0e979f2e0dcef694
>
> Thanks again for your e-mails, Rosemary. I always enjoy hearing from
> you (even if you are only a "ghost"). ~grin~
>
> Best regards,
> David Von Pein
>
> =================================================
ROTFLMFAO -- right there in that little old bedroom of your that you
share with ypour brother in Indiana
aeffects
> www.google.com/group/alt.conspiracy.jfk/browse_thread/thread/7a1b38f8...
>
> A KOOK NAMED HEALY GUSHED:
>
> >>> "There is NO Rosemary [Newton]. His [DVP's] pathological need created her[,] like he created his pathetic 'composite' persona. End of story." <<<
>
> DVP SAID:
>
> I'll be sure to inform Rosemary that she was never born. In fact, I'm
> going to dash off an e-mail to her tonight, because I want her to see
> for herself that there really ARE mega-kooks like David G. Healy in
> this world.
<snip the in-between>
The point:
Hi Ms. Newton,
Thanks for the introduction, Ghost VonPein. I'm glad David Von Pein
(we call him the *ghost* that keeps on giving on alt.conspiracy.jfk)
dropped my name to you and Vincent, I feel somewhat privileged. And
part of your inner circle already, imagine that. So Rose (can I call
you that?) I have a sister-in-law with the first name of Rosemary
[Rosemary latin for: "dew of the sea", beautiful...] anyway... Being
an old hand in media matters, I realize it can be very difficult
getting in touch with those that want to avoid probing microphones and
cameras, despite best of intentions. So I'll make this short and to
the point. At your earliest possible convenience I would like to have
a short conversation with you (on the record), concerning your
employement with Vincent Bugliosi and Vincent's relationship with
David Von Pein (the ghost). We can then move onto more serious matters
and get the alt.conspirascy.jfk amateurs back to the peanut gallery...
So, there are serious discussions underway concerning a 120:00 minute
television documentary (worldwide distribution) rebuttal to Mr.
Bugliosi's Reclaiming History. We of course will extend professional
courtesy's to Mr. Bugliosi regarding on-camera comments on specific
assassination matters and evidence. A courtesy Mr B. did NOT extend
some authors he quoted in RH and, whom he found it necessary to drag
through the mud.... On-camera time will be allotted for Vincent
Bugliosi Q&A and some commentary.
This is NOT a trial, nor is Lee Harvey Oswald on trial. Conspiracy is
on trial!
Regurgitating WCR facts and factoids will not secure anyone a place in
history (and RH certainly was no book burner [pardon the pun] at
booksellers checkout counters. If you will, please forward this
request to Vincent. If Dr. Jim Fetzer makes you uncomfortable I'll
make arrangements with a member of the media in Los Angeles to act as
a confidential go-between regarding further correspondence.
I look forward to your immediate response confirming you are indeed
Vince's secretary, etc... and, if in fact, you have a serious industry
relationship with David Von Pein. Or, if you catch my drift, he's
just another impressionable loser looking for a short term writing
gig....IF, I find out he's a member of your team, I'd certainly like
to have him (DVP) sit for a simple 60 minute interview concerning the
JFK assassination case and/or communication. DVP's 25,000+ posts (we
call those that post that many USENET post KOOKSTERS) to various
internet boards that support Reclaiming History deserves something,
its the best I can do -- I can't justify much more than that as
Reclaiming Histoiry went on to notorious fame as being one of the book
publishing industry's colossal failures.
A cheerful prompt phone reply would be nice, thanks again, Rose (I can
call you that, yes?)
Best regard's to you,the family and Vince of course
aeffects
aka: David G.Healy
The Great Zapruder Film HOAX -- contributing author
30 year Television-Video Producer - Retired
aeffects
> >>> "Vin Bugliosi is far and above your station." <<<
>
> I thought I was Vinnie. On April 20th, you seemed to think so? What
> happened to the "DVP = VB" theory, Mr. Crackpipe? ~shrug~
>
> Make up your mind, idiot. Am I DVP, Bugliosi, Reitzes, Keating,
> Rosemary, or the boogey man? (Or all of the above?)
>
> >>> "He [Vince B.] has nothing for you[,] nor does his imaginary secretary. These figments of your imagination are nothing more than that, figments of your imagination." <<<
>
> The drugs that Healy took a little while ago are working wonders
> tonight, I see.
>
> >>> "You simply can't produce Bugliosi's secretary." <<<
>
> She lives in California, idiot.
>
> And why would she ever be asked to give an interview on camera (or on
> the radio)? I'm not saying that's impossible, but is it likely? She's
> a secretary. (Although I'd love it if Rosemary would go on Black Op
> Radio with Lifton and give that asshole a piece of her mind. I'd savor
> that radio interview forever.)
>
> BTW, when was the last time David G. Healy was ever asked to make a
> public appearance (in person, on TV, or on the radio)?
>
> To date, I've seen Healy on exactly ZERO radio or TV programs? Will
> that "zero" figure rise in the future with the publication of your new
> book, Healy? You know the one -- "ZAPRUDER AND SITZMAN ARE MERELY
> FIGMENTS OF EVERYONE'S IMAGINATION", by David "Crackpipe" Healy (c.
> 2013, published by "Kookshit Press", Inc.)
>
> >>> "Right there in that little old bedroom of your[s] that you share with your brother in Indiana." <<<
>
> I thought I was Vince B.; and Vince lives in California.
>
> Make up your mind, retard.
I'm through with you shithead, you served your purpose.... you got me
to Vin's secretary if she in fact exists -- back to the peanut gallery
dipshit.... thanks again for the intro..... You been punked!
aeffects
> >>> "Vin Bugliosi is far and above your station." <<<
>
> I thought I was Vinnie. On April 20th, you seemed to think so? What
> happened to the "DVP = VB" theory, Mr. Crackpipe? ~shrug~
>
> Make up your mind, idiot. Am I DVP, Bugliosi, Reitzes, Keating,
> Rosemary, or the boogey man? (Or all of the above?)
>
> >>> "He [Vince B.] has nothing for you[,] nor does his imaginary secretary. These figments of your imagination are nothing more than that, figments of your imagination." <<<
>
> The drugs that Healy took a little while ago are working wonders
> tonight, I see.
>
> >>> "You simply can't produce Bugliosi's secretary." <<<
>
> She lives in California, idiot.
and what does that have to do with the price of beans, shithead?
> And why would she ever be asked to give an interview on camera (or on
> the radio)? I'm not saying that's impossible, but is it likely? She's
> a secretary. (Although I'd love it if Rosemary would go on Black Op
> Radio with Lifton and give that asshole a piece of her mind. I'd savor
> that radio interview forever.)
dipshit, its you, Y-O-U that needs to do the interview, your chance at
fame dipshit, right across from me, copying & pasting, on-camera!
> BTW, when was the last time David G. Healy was ever asked to make a
> public appearance (in person, on TV, or on the radio)?
now are you telling me you haven't seen my 90 minute on-camera
appearance, on DVD at the Zapruder Film Symposium, Univ of Minn 2003.
The very one that I edited? Also edited David Lifton's, David
Mantik's, Jack White's and John Costella's and James Fetzer's?
You really need to get up to speed shithead.....
> To date, I've seen Healy on exactly ZERO radio or TV programs? Will
> that "zero" figure rise in the future with the publication of your new
> book, Healy? You know the one -- "ZAPRUDER AND SITZMAN ARE MERELY
> FIGMENTS OF EVERYONE'S IMAGINATION", by David "Crackpipe" Healy (c.
> 2013, published by "Kookshit Press", Inc.)
your nervousness is showing, shithead.... my occupation requires[d] me
to prepare many professionals AND novices for on-camera appearances --
you need to get up to speed shithead!
> >>> "Right there in that little old bedroom of your[s] that you share with your brother in Indiana." <<<
>
> I thought I was Vince B.; and Vince lives in California.
hon it makes no difference who you are, nor do I care, you've served
your usefulness -- losers are all alike.... so for all I know you're
Alfred E. Neuman -- Ta!
David Von Pein
>>> "I'm through with you shithead, you served your purpose.... you got me to Vin's secretary[,] if she in fact exists." <<<
Oh, was that the purpose of your posts concerning Rosemary Newton, Mr.
Retard?
LOL. A beautiful ruse there, huh?
IOW -- You were "baiting" ol' DVP (or am I Vince today? I forget), so
that ol' DVP would e-mail some of Healy's stupid ramblings to Rosemary
(and, hence, possibly to Vince Bugliosi too)?
In (more) other words -- Healy wanted to make sure he looked like as
BIG A FOOL AND RETARD as humanly possible in order to get me to write
Rosemary and VB about him.
Great plot, Mr. Healy. After all, it's everyone's goal in life to want
to appear like a total idiot to as many people as they can.
Right, aeffects?
>>> "Back to the peanut gallery dipshit....thanks again for the intro.....You been punked! .... [REPLAY:] I'm through with you." <<<
Wanna bet?
Is this the same as your other 10 "I'm Done" promises, Mr. C-pipe?
How many minutes will Healy's latest "I'm through with you" promise
last, folks? Or should we count his absence in seconds, instead of
minutes?
Five...four...three...two...
David Von Pein
www.google.com/group/alt.conspiracy.jfk/msg/123c1f14bd19a0e5
>>> "Vin Bugliosi is far and above your station." <<<
I thought I was Vinnie. On April 20th, you seemed to think so. So,
what happened to the "DVP = VB" theory, Mr. Crackpipe? ~shrug~
Make up your mind, idiot. Am I DVP, Bugliosi, Reitzes, Keating,
Rosemary, or the boogey man? (Or all of the above?)
>>> "He [Vince B.] has nothing for you[,] nor does his imaginary secretary. These figments of your imagination are nothing more than that, figments of your imagination." <<<
The drugs that Healy took a little while ago are working wonders
tonight, I see.
>>> "You simply can't produce Bugliosi's secretary." <<<
She lives in California, idiot.
And I've "produced" direct quotes from her....and so has John McAdams
(in July of 2007).
What do you require, Healy? Rosemary's personal appearance on
Letterman? Or CNN?
Plus -- Why would Rosemary Newton ever be asked to give an interview
on camera (or on the radio)? I'm not saying that's impossible, but is
it likely? She's a secretary. Although I'd love it if Rosemary would
go on Black Op Radio with Lifton and give that asshole a piece of her
mind. I'd savor that radio interview forever.
BTW, when was the last time David G. Healy was ever asked to make a
public appearance (in person, on TV, or on the radio)?
To date, I've seen Healy on exactly ZERO radio or TV programs. Will
that "zero" figure rise in the future with the publication of your new
book, Healy? You know the one -- "ZAPRUDER AND SITZMAN ARE MERELY
FIGMENTS OF EVERYONE'S IMAGINATION", by David "Crackpipe" Healy (c.
2013, published by "Kookshit Press", Inc.)
>>> "Right there in that little old bedroom of your[s] that you share with your brother in Indiana." <<<
I thought I was Vince B.; and Vince lives in California.
Make up your mind, retard.
justm...@gmail.com
David.....Healy is insane, bottom line. He is so jealous that you have
a close connection with Rosemary he'll do anything to get his foot in
the door including making himself look once again like the biggest
fool there is. I hope Rosemary reads the posts made by Healy on this
newsgroup. After reading them no one in their right mind would give
the idiot the time of day. Retired from the media? I'd say more like
he was probably fired. Funny he's supposed to be so well known, but do
a google search on him and all you see is aeffects Healy idiot, moron,
junkie, pig. LOL There's his fame! His farewell speech from yesterday
didn't even last an hour. He won't post directly to you...he'll just
post things about you now. Just like he did when he said he was
finished responding to me months ago. He couldn't resist, and
continued posting his vulgar filth about me. LOL it's a good laugh
reading his bs this morning. Should we start the farewell violin music
now???
David Von Pein
>>> "David [Von Pein]....Healy is insane." <<<
I think I'd describe him as Vince Bugliosi describes Judyth Vary Baker
-- he's a "sick puppy".
And he's retarded too...let's not forget that.
>>> "His farewell speech from yesterday didn't even last an hour." <<<
23 minutes to be precise.
David Von Pein
>>> "He [David G. Healy] is so jealous that you have a close connection with Rosemary [Newton], he'll do anything to get his foot in the door." <<<
Well, Healy always has Fetzer.
And Healy is probably perfectly happy being associated for all time
with one of THE most ridiculous and evidence-free and shameful
publications ever written about JFK's assassination -- "The Great
Zapruder Film Hoax".
=====================
"ZAPRUDER FILM HOAX" BOOK REVIEW (below) -- Although, I readily admit,
I never read Fetzer's insane "Hoax" book; but I don't need to read a
single page of it to know it's 100% nonsense. Heck, these words on the
back cover (available to read for free at Amazon.com) prove beyond all
doubt that the contents of Fetzer's "Hoax" book are pure B.S. -- "The
Zapruder movie is, not merely touched up and altered, but wholly
fabricated":
www.Amazon.com/gp/product/081269547X/ref=cm_rdp_product_img#reader
"You can add this ridiculous "Zapruder Film Hoax" theory to the
already mile-high stack of literature containing unsupportable
conspiracy angles in the JFK case. The conspiracy theorists never seem
to run out of them, and this one regarding a "faked" Zapruder Film is
one of the most outlandish and foolish, IMO.
I cannot help but laugh when I read the blurb that occupies space on
the back cover of this book --- "These findings demonstrate beyond
reasonable doubt that the Zapruder movie is, not merely touched up and
altered, but wholly fabricated". .... "Beyond reasonable doubt"?
(Hardly.) And "Wholly fabricated"? It sounds as if Mr. Fetzer doesn't
even want to believe that Mr. Zapruder was filming a home movie AT ALL
on 11-22-63 in Dealey Plaza. "Wholly fabricated"? A very curious and
illogical notion to say the least, IMO.
Also: If the Z-Film has been (somehow) "fabricated" from whole cloth
(or altered in any major fashion), as this volume suggests, I'm
wondering why on Earth the conspirators faking the film KEPT IN the
JFK "rear head snap" following the fatal shot to the President's head?
Why wouldn't these "plotters" want to "reverse" these frames to make
it appear that Kennedy was unequivocally shot from the rear (where
"Patsy" Lee Harvey Oswald was located)? But in ALL versions of the
Zapruder Film that exist, the violent to-the-rear head snap still
exists. Go figure.
Plus: What about ALL the other films taken on 11/22? Did the plotters
phony-up the Nix, Bronson, and Muchmore films too (so that they'd
"match" the fakery of their "new" Zapruder Film)? Quite obviously,
this is not very likely (even in the "everything-seems-to-be-faked" CT
world of never-ending conspiracies).
The whole idea put forth in this waste of 480 pages is pure nonsense
and purely "CT" fodder to begin with. It's simply unbelievable and not
even worthy of serious discussion (IMHO).
When will these crazy JFK assassination conspiracy theories end? I
heard a new one just recently that proposes the idea that Secret
Service Agent Roy Kellerman (who was seated in the front seat of the
Presidential limousine during the Dallas motorcade on 11-22-63,
sitting next to driver Bill Greer) actually fired the fatal head shot
into John Kennedy's brain with a small pistol that he miraculously
fired WHILE FACING IN THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION FROM JFK!
Kellerman wasn't even LOOKING at the President at the time the fatal
head shot was fired -- but does that little detail stop a crazy theory
like this one from being thrown out on the front stoop, in hopes that
some uninformed cat will come by and lap it up? No, it doesn't. And
it's just flat-out ridiculous.
I've compiled a list of some of the many conspiracy theories that have
existed at one time or another since JFK's tragic assassination on
November 22, 1963. I'm sure there are even more than my list here
reflects, but it illustrates how utterly desperate (it would appear)
that some CTers are/were to have some conspiratorial shenanigans
taking place in Dealey Plaza during the murder of JFK. (A person has
to begin to wonder how there was even room enough for all these gunmen
in the Plaza? They must have been fighting for available shooting
locations, given the vast number of gunmen purported to be on the
scene that afternoon. I'm surprised there aren't some theories that
have the assassins shooting EACH OTHER, instead of hitting their
desired target of the President.)
101 JFK Conspiracy Theories (give or take a few)................
1.) "The Great Zapruder Film Hoax".
2.) "Badge Man". .... "BM", per many theorists, fired the fatal shot
into JFK's head from behind a fence on the infamous Grassy Knoll. The
major problem I have with this Gary Mack-created theory is that it is
derived from large blow-ups of an already very poor-quality still
Polaroid photograph (the Moorman photo). Blowing up the teeny-weeny
area behind the fence to huge proportions and STILL thinking you'd be
able to make out subtle details like a "badge" on a cop's uniform, or
the "arm band" on this police officer, or a "muzzle flash" as the
rifle fires, is (IMO) way too much "wishful thinking" on the part of
conspiracy theorists. *
* = Plus: I'd also ask: What are the ODDS that Miss Moorman could have
POSSIBLY actually photographed the EXACT moment of the rifle being
fired so that the "muzzle flash" would still be visible in her
picture? I'd wager the odds are off the charts in favor of
"improbable". Maybe not "impossible", true, but man oh man, it sure
would have been amazing to have been able to capture that one tiny
moment in time on a STILL photographic image.
3.) Limo driver Bill Greer fired the head shot. .... Bill was
evidently pulling double-duty that day -- he had to navigate the heavy
Lincoln limousine while at the same time being depended upon to fire
the fatal bullet into JFK's skull. (Big ol' LOL on this one.)
4.) "The Umbrella Man" ("TUM"). .... The man who was holding the open
umbrella along Elm Street (and who can be seen in various pictures and
films) supposedly fired a "poisoned dart" into the neck of President
Kennedy, apparently (per this theory) to paralyze or incapacitate JFK
so that the "kill shot" could be made by another shooter with more
ease. Anybody buyin' this nonsense? My first question re. this silly
one -- WHY on Earth would any plotters want to fire a PRE-KILL shot
into JFK (thereby warning the Secret Service and/or the victim what
was happening prior to the "big one")? Completely illogical. Why not
just fire the head shot FIRST and be done with it?
4B.) "The Umbrella Man" (Version #2). .... A second "Umbrella Man"
theory has "TUM" being a "Signal Man" (instead of using the umbrella
itself as an actual weapon). TUM, per this alternate version of the
Umbrella theory, was evidently hired by some assassination bigwigs to
stand out in full view of everybody on Elm Street and "signal" to the
real killers in Dealey Plaza, letting the gunmen know exactly when to
fire their rifles at JFK. This TUM theory is nearly as ridiculous and
laughable as the "poisoned dart" version. For one thing, HOW are the
shooters supposed to keep an eye on "TUM" AND keep their eyes on their
target (JFK) at the same time? Plus: To believe in this ultra-stupid
theory, you'll have to throw all notions of common sense out the
nearest window and actually believe that these "plotters" would have
had the balls to put one of their "assassin team" members out on the
sidewalk, in full view of many witnesses and CAMERAS at the precise
time JFK is being murdered. (This kind of reminds me of the incident
where a group of brain-dead criminals thought it might be a good idea
to videotape themselves while in the act of committing a felony! Smart
plan, huh?) ... Both "TUM" theories require ample time to recover from
rolling around on the floor from the uncontrollable laughter that
undoubtedly ensues whenever reading about such ludicrous CT-favoring
nonsense.
5.) "Sewer Man". .... This theory has a killer rooting around the
Dallas city sewer system beneath Dealey Plaza and firing the fatal JFK
head shot from below ground level along Elm Street. Problem being: No
possible angle could have been achieved from any Elm Street sewer to
satisfy the known head wounds sustained by the President. But, still,
the theory persists, without one logical, solid piece of evidence to
back up such ludicrous claims. Amazing.
6.) "Black Dog Man". .... The "BDM" is a dark "blob" seen in a couple
of photographs above the retaining wall on the Grassy Knoll. Some
CTers feel this "blob" is a "man" getting ready to fire the fatal
rifle shot. (Of course, just WHY he would be out in plain sight for
all to film and photograph is, apparently, another matter for
discussion.)
7.) "Sandy-Haired Man In West-End TSBD Window". .... "Sandy" (as I
call him) has been purported to exist on the opposite (west) end of
the Texas School Book Depository's sixth floor from where Lee Harvey
Oswald was located in his "Sniper's Nest". Some CTers think "Sandy"
can be seen in a picture taken just seconds after the shooting, and
that he might have been an additional TSBD shooter on 11/22. This
theory isn't as crazy as most others, but it still lacks any solid
evidence to back it up. Plus, any shots from this West-End window do
not equate to ANY known wounds in either victim.
8.) Secret Service man George Hickey accidentally fired the fatal shot
from the SS follow-up vehicle (with the bullet miraculously finding
the head of JFK). .... Yet another idiotic theory, without a shred of
validity to it. This is also a rather odd theory to be claimed by
CTers, seeing as how virtually all conspiracy theorists think the
fatal head shot to JFK came from the right-front, and NOT from behind
the automobile.
9.) "Body-altering surgery" performed on JFK prior to autopsy. ....
This theory usually comes complete with a second casket and a "decoy"
ambulance. Regarding all this hidden cloak-and-dagger type of
activity, I'd simply ask -- Why didn't the conspirators simply shoot
President Kennedy from Oswald's "Nest" and be done with it? If they
would have used just that one rear shooter, they wouldn't have to
worry about "altering" any wounds on JFK afterward (which could not
possibly have been done without some non-conspirators noticing in the
first place).
10.) The "Dal-Tex Shooter(s)". .... Were there one or more gunmen
firing from the Dal-Tex Building on Houston Street? Many CTers think
so (despite not ONE person, that I'm aware of, immediately dashing
into that building thinking shots might have come from within it).
11.) "Kellerman Kills Kennedy" (as mentioned earlier).
12.) "Triple Underpass Shooter". .... Some people seem to feel a
frontal shot that hit JFK came from atop the Triple Underpass.
Problems galore with this (IMO) -- because WHY didn't ANY of the many
railroad workers who were up there see this rifle-toting assassin or
hear any shot(s) coming from right beside them? Not a logical theory.
13.) Virtually all of the autopsy photos and X-rays have been "faked"
or altered in some manner. .... This one, too, doesn't reside in the
realm of anything approaching "reality" (IMO). Because 19 different
photo experts for the HSCA have verified the autopsy materials as
authentic and unaltered in any manner. Still, these rumors persist
like gum on the bottom of your shoe.
14.) Any combination of the above theories. .... E.g.: The Oliver
Stone "Triangulation of Crossfire" theory (with three gunmen in
various locations and six gunshots being fired). .... Amazing, though,
isn't it, that these six shots were somehow condensed into sounding
like just the THREE shots that were said to be heard by virtually
EVERY person who was in a position to immediately report the shooting
to the world (Merriman Smith, Jack Bell, and WFAA's Jay Watson to name
but three)? Funny coincidence huh? And incredibly lucky for the
"plotters" too it would seem. **
** = Plus, there's the added miraculous luck of the shooters/
conspirators that resulted in the THREE separate shots that supposedly
(per CTers) caused the back and neck wounds in TWO different men (JFK
and John Connally) somehow "lining themselves up" to perfection to
make it SEEM afterward like these three shots could all be explained
away with one single bullet (the "Single-Bullet Theory"). Is there no
end to the overwhelming good fortune of these amazing conspirators?
----------------------
In my own view, there comes a time when you've just got to step back
from the bottomless CT abyss and say "enough is enough"! That time was
long ago for this writer. For it's been quite clear to me for a
lengthy period of time that none of the above theories is worth a hill
of beans. IMO, the Warren Report had it correct from the beginning --
Lee Harvey Oswald took his own rifle to work on November 22, 1963, and
murdered President Kennedy all by himself. And he didn't even need one
single umbrella to accomplish the deed. .... Three shots; one rifle;
one killer. It's the logical conclusion."
David Von Pein
November 6, 2005