alien vs filthyanimal
dead
its like im getting both at the same time. im making adjustments and
allowances, but anything which i want to keep "ocd" (because it is too
much my nature, or because i believe it's the world that's got it all
wrong and not me whos weird) has tightened so much that i am in shock
when the fortress does not hold up.
last night it was the knife again. mum let it drop onto the table and
the edge was touching the table. yes it's a kitchen table but i do
not eat from anything that touches it. i found it later after she
wasn't here thank god and it felt like i had been shot in the stomach
and i was speechless, then i hyperventilate. and the magnitude of the
situation seems beyond me although i can joke about it being a knife
on a table i can't pretend it's not the end of the world my world
atleast.
this is about the 4th expensive knife that has been let to drop on
either the table or the floor. when mum did it last time it was the
same issue you might remember, except i disgusted my mind into a
disembodied trance, i actually lost consciousness a number of times
and the world was generally so gross to me that even the consciousness
of it made me curl back inside me.
yeah so there is the question is it just me or is it the filthy world
that has it wrong, and i think it is both of us too extreme in our
ways. for instance the world might look like the crazy one if you are
considering their own hygene habits... everyone washes their hands but
immediately they touch a door knob or a railing in the town or they
might touch money and these are the kinds of things the people don't
seem to notice, there are contradictions in their will... are they
trying to be hygenic... or not... they are conflicted. i am trying to
be more single pointed... for instance i am a vegan and thus i do not
make exceptions by eating products even where dairy is not the main
ingredient.. so i believe there are probably almost no vegans in the
western world because everything is infected with either meat or dairy
products on the supermarket shelf, almost, and they contradict
themself by not paying it attention. so who's crazy...... me because
i pay too much attention to reality or them because they are in denial
about the truth of how disgusting it is, they have to hide from it to
make do with it..... another e.g., meat eaters... most of them admit
they must blank themselves from the knowledge of it as an animal.
they literally make themselves stupider people by doing that..... but
it becomes such a habit of narrowing consciousness that it infects
everything about their life, they become dumber less sensitive
beings. i mean to cut the mind off from being aware of the creature
is really stupid, although i am not being arrogant because there are
other ways im like that but that is so immoral aswell that it's not
all about how dumb they are they are really in conflict with
goodness. "lord forgive them for they..." you know the
drill ;P......... i almost respect those people who have a fetish
about the fact that it IS an animal lol. although that is so wrong it
is almost evil but atleast they aren't faking reality out. you know
MrM said something interesting about seeing a human body torn in two
pieces when he was a youth, and his brain couldn't get it that it was
a real person.
anywayyyy...... so ive got a problem to some extent but i wish others
would acknowledge that it is somewhat based on reality, probably more
than their reaction in fact.
dead
> with ocd it is difficult to tell whether im getting worse or better,
> its like im getting both at the same time. im making adjustments and
> allowances, but anything which i want to keep "ocd" (because it is too
> much my nature, or because i believe it's the world that's got it all
> wrong and not me whos weird) has tightened so much that i am in shock
> when the fortress does not hold up.
>
> last night it was the knife again. mum let it drop onto the table and
> the edge was touching the table. yes it's a kitchen table but i do
> not eat from anything that touches it. i found it later after she
> wasn't here thank god and it felt like i had been shot in the stomach
> and i was speechless, then i hyperventilate. and the magnitude of the
> situation seems beyond me although i can joke about it being a knife
> on a table i can't pretend it's not the end of the world my world
> atleast.
>
i was repeating "help" otherwise i wasn't able to speak or think
much. i wanted to die, i remember thinking. the only reason i didn't
kill myself was the knife was too dirty and i didn't want to fall on
the floor.
dead
um.. yeah and the other way of dealing with things for me is to just
let the ocd have its way and not fight it, do not panic because filth
is inevitable, but do not allow the filth just do the routine and
replace the knife because shit happens. this very clear acceptance of
ocd was bothering mum because although i wasn't having attacks it made
it so that my ocd soared to new heights of expression. i gave all my
dishes to her because i left them unwashed for too many days... i do
not eat anything with vinegar in it, thickeners that aren't labeled, i
gave up most of the few things that i'd been able to eat previously.
i dont eat anything cooked in a shop (have you seen ramsey's kitchen
nightmares? jessus fuckin christ!). i do not touch my genitalia,
lol... i didn't even notice that for like a year but if i do i wash my
hands immediately. if i scratch my head i wash my hands. i use
tissues to open the doors. everything just became the way things are
for me without fighting it. and if i went to a psyche i'd probably be
against the idea of lowering myself anymore to the way things are in
the real world and try to more control my emotions without having to
give up ocd... i know there are "allowances and adjustments" i must
make but in some things cant imagine ever doing that, for a long time,
it isn't worth it. i can't enjoy life if it doesn't conform to
certain peculiarities i have and some of them i would like to enforce
by law but others are simply my nature..... but the world should make
more space.
dead
so she bought me a new knife and a plastic draw set to keep my things
seperate from visitors things. that's teh equivalent of buying
someone an oxygen mask in a country like india which stinks. she's
really nice, i hope the world follows suite. :)
dead
of course i identify with "vegan vulgarian" so i am at this moment
expressing one side of that equation only, dancing around the vulgar
to make space however for even the filthyanimal that i am aswell. one
of the hardest parts of the fight is that the filthy animal is in me.
hell i just scratched my head (although i am typing and when i am
typing i wash my hands after anyway, but usually i would not touch my
body while typing at all to avoid getting dead skin cells, old sweat,
other people ive let use the keyboard, onto the body i might forget to
wash afterward!). anyway the other half of me is the part that does
desire sex, watches shit movies (no.), sloths and is not bothered to
clean up after himself, makes loud mouth emotional express ions of
himself on the internut web. enjoys chaos over order, in fact fights
on belahf of chaos. i will put myself out as different aspects
depending on the social context.
dead
now i am interested......... you see im torn in two, two bodies. can
see that im a real person or not?
first there was this need to honour both parts which had and still are
very apart from one another in each others shadow. the more i flipped
i had to deal with the issue.. that everything was either becoming
muddied up, or else the split was becoming so huge i had one extreme
contradicting another. more and more i have been able to.. negotiate
a middle way, and even in the extremes to never negate the value of
the other side of ME. first it is like clashing two different self-
systems together and its like the frankenstein concept again. but
there is possible a fluid interaction for the idealized (or demonized)
parts of ourself, it just takes time to really become self-aware and
juggling enough to get the motion to negotiate a new wholeness.
dead
how do you like them bones? ;)
Gordon
>
> - Show quoted text -
Gordon: Quite the story.
dead
>
> - Show quoted text -
try playing hte part!
Gordon
>
> - Show quoted text -
Gordon: I'm pretty busy with my own as I'm sure you are with yours,
but let me say that all stories are somewhat problematic each with
their own set of issues. Sure you could be better off but then you
could also be worse off too, but really where you are is the best
place for you to find yourself even if it seems otherwise. But is
there anything more discouraging than a fiction that takes itself to
seriously, probably not. Now how you like them fictional bones?
dead
hind-sight can be embarassing or encouraging take your pick.
piph
>
> - Show quoted text -
I don't find anything wrong with the poster, they have a nicely honed
organ of observation, too.
hey, dead? Mind if I ask?
You seem like a level headed person. You got this habit you are
wearing like a thick cloak, but you can see that it is all accidental,
right?
If there were no expensive knives, then there would be no need to keep
them off the floor, or the table. If we lived in a culture with less
emphasis on the microscopic world around us we would find ourself
operating within a different set of priorities?
I am asking if you can see it is all accidental. Its accidental yet we
falsly identify to it and say "I' and "me".
Even the fact that we are identified with it is accidental - just
droning on, no one has ever pointed out to us that the whole of the
content of our consciousness is just accidental, based on the time and
place of our arising and all of the impressions we ate up to now.
The 4-th way cuts a lot of slack when we find, in form and function -
really - that I am not it. "It" is accidental.
ANyway - i like your story. I like to read the remarks of those who
make observation part of their business.
Maybe the ocd'er is blessed with an assisting factor the workaday joe
would barely notice. In your experience the machine runs the impulses
ad nasuem. In the workaday joe, same thing only less pronounced.
In the game of becoming free, getting beyond the "I am it" is a place
where quantum reconfiguration can begin. In the 4th way it could be
said that when we "know a thing with the whole of our being". It's
movement within which we can actually consciously rewire shit by way
of a trick played on the machine - a neutralization of affairs by way
of consciously tricking the consciousness to evolve a container for
the whole. Wire up an electrical context that supercede's the
unconscious context in which we find ourself accidentally emersed.
cool post, man, good luck
dead
>
> I don't find anything wrong with the poster, they have a nicely honed
> organ of observation, too.
>
thank you thats a great compliment to me.
> hey, dead? Mind if I ask?
>
> You seem like a level headed person.
im going to explode..
> You got this habit you are
> wearing like a thick cloak, but you can see that it is all accidental,
> right?
>
not really, you know that i don't...
> If there were no expensive knives, then there would be no need to keep
> them off the floor, or the table. If we lived in a culture with less
> emphasis on the microscopic world around us we would find ourself
> operating within a different set of priorities?
>
hm.... in a previous culture i would probably be sensitive to the
'vibe' over the microscopic material element. and i am, that is a
part of the ocd. anyway you see how the nature in me would probably
find a way to express itself anywhere, am suspect that it is even
beyond parental upbringing because they never went into the heights of
alienation i have.
maybe if i were an animal then the context and the nature in me
included would be different. there you go... :)
fundamentally i get the gist... ive taken up certain qualities of my
brain and certain knowledge about the world and given them force and
it has been my "story". each chain in the story further affirms the
addiction and reality of it to me.
im not sure if it could have happened any other way to suite my true
will, as it is at this moment in time atleast. sometimes im glad but
sometimes the depression is too heavy and i feel like some parts of my
earlier story have been cut out for good.. that is still cause for me
to almost see no value in life, although i do.
> I am asking if you can see it is all accidental. Its accidental yet we
> falsly identify to it and say "I' and "me".
>
> Even the fact that we are identified with it is accidental - just
> droning on, no one has ever pointed out to us that the whole of the
> content of our consciousness is just accidental, based on the time and
> place of our arising and all of the impressions we ate up to now.
> The 4-th way cuts a lot of slack when we find, in form and function -
> really - that I am not it. "It" is accidental.
>
its a good point to chew on
> ANyway - i like your story. I like to read the remarks of those who
> make observation part of their business.
>
> Maybe the ocd'er is blessed with an assisting factor the workaday joe
> would barely notice. In your experience the machine runs the impulses
> ad nasuem. In the workaday joe, same thing only less pronounced.
>
intensity and analysis. there is this artist who makes framed video
art and the idea is to slow a particular emotional moment down in time
and repeat it over and over because not only does the feeling of it
truly sink in the rational mind has the time to analyse it in a
fullness it wouldn't otherwise be possible because of the way one
moment is eclipsed by another. more wisdom... this is a skill i
believe body language readers develop, an analytical capture of the
emotional moment.
> In the game of becoming free, getting beyond the "I am it" is a place
> where quantum reconfiguration can begin. In the 4th way it could be
> said that when we "know a thing with the whole of our being". It's
> movement within which we can actually consciously rewire shit by way
> of a trick played on the machine - a neutralization of affairs by way
> of consciously tricking the consciousness to evolve a container for
> the whole. Wire up an electrical context that supercede's the
> unconscious context in which we find ourself accidentally emersed.
>
not quite sure what you mean........ rewires my word though give it.
> cool post, man, good luck
thanks man
Gordon
Gordon: I'm curious Piph, what is it you think you know with the whole
of your being? Should I slip my quantum boots on first?
piph
>
> Gordon: I'm curious Piph, what is it you think you know with the whole
> of your being? Should I slip my quantum boots on first?
Hi Gordon. Not if you never get out of this curious phase, I suppose.
Gordon
Gordon: Maybe a little supposing is just the thing to get you out of
this knowing with my whole being phase. Anyway, glad to see you're
still alive & well (or so I hope) and be careful with that quantum
reconfiguring trickery, wouldn't want what happened to Vanier to
happen to you too.
dead
and so the gift is the curse, again. and it is OCD afterall. the
observational organ is over done sometimes, seized into a crystalized
ego. maybe i am petrified. so, that's what's wrong aswell. i could
ease up.
i believe you are voyeuristic? I suppose you are. i always thought
of you like that. its the same thing with the interest in body
language. my friend is keen intellectual but also very involved in
the sex game and to him it is like a strategic game, he has analysed
and read alot and even though girls are so horny now days its humorous
to put the effort into it he enjoys it for the game. there is an easy
way to take over video cameras on the internet which are insecure.
last year i was fascinated by it, in particular a camera at a beach
side cafe and a camera in perth the capital city of my state here.
sometimes there ewas another person on the camera and i think he was
someone else whohad gain acces or else he was the security guy. anyway
he always tried to zoom on girls bums and i would fight over the
camera to look at what i wanted. then when he left i would look at
girls bums. sometimes i enjoyed just seeing what he would aim it at
because it was like the ultimate in voyeurism to watch a voyeur.
there was a girl who appeared once and she seemed to be aware the
camera was watching and smiled at it and ...stuff. that was the life!
dead
beam me up!
dead
im going to tell you how that paragraph sifted into meaning for me and
then im gong to reread the paragraph to see if the words still make it
impossible to tell...
there are these moments of perfect clarity in which all the
implications and the application to ones own self are all known and in
the knowing there is a change within the entire being of the person.
my first real altered trip into madness was begin with that... there
was a interplay between where my mind was discovering then where my
life was changing. it was a movement... everything was moving..
now im wondering how that relates to something she said later, that
the machine rewires itself into a new electrical context to hold the
environmental situation in... hahahahahaha....... sorry. i think she
means, for instance my posts are quite hard to take the way they are
given and so your brain will be forcing itself to rewire a context
around me in which i am not a disturbance. thats how i apply it, to
my ego. no but that is the only example that came to me... hm,
otherwise an e.g.... it is just coping, so where the brain cannot
handle something, the brain must rewire, in a way that still contains
the disturbance otherwise it will grow in denial and stupidity.
however the container might be somewhat of a buffer between you and
reality, if buffer is the word i can't remember what it means really.
i remember buffers in highschool metal work and buffers in piphs
vocabulary a long time ago that's it though. to me i mean a friendly-
filter, may take away the initially the impact from the experience if
it is unpleasant otherwise it might be an evolution if it's not simply
a denial or faking out of reality, the self in fact grows. so knowing
the truth with the whole of ones being might be the trigger piont for
the change that we need to make to ourself to accord to our will or
our ideal will if we are forcing it, i.e. tricking it... alot of
growth i suspect is along the lines of a trick because the self we are
now wants different things and it's that that we change... we have
make the prize for the self values and it might have a change in
priority by the change.
dead
it is like shadow work you integrate you remove or you die under the
pressure of the onslaught of shadow demons. how can it be negotiated
into a new context... how can it be removed, otherwise.... how should
one pretend it isn't happening.... how can we pretend or ignore
atleast and get on with the previous script story. that's actually
quite easy for many people, the more sensitive people trying to block
out reality it really fucks with the head of.
dead
my head is very big by the way i am like god head. i am genius
itself. soon i will know everything. omniscience does it for me.
what does it for you?
anyway you see how gordon has been feeding me bones and trying to
choke me to death when he isn't smiling like a friend. that's ok i
enjoy it really. and death is my word all he is always trying to get
out of us is change, little death, for methough i'm like morbid and
like to look to the ultimate end.
within the ultimate end life carries on... omega genesis...... oneday
i will probably falll right off the page of this story and into the
end, but i might go on reading still. vegan vulgarian is to me a
genesis concept and creature, who i am i mean. ;) it is the manifest
side of myself. it will still have to be sorted out even if i
attained to the highest state of consciousness, which i haven't by the
way. genesis is the newbie man, potential and promise in the
frankenstein world. nothing much in my case im just pomping it all up
really. then i think even my faults make me perfekt.
dead
>
> - Show quoted text -
p.s. lovers and friends can change me... i am stealing a line from
marilyn manson but it's true. noone other than those i let myself
love can change me and i have it difficult for anyone to make it these
days, i can be nice and not connect otherwise.
do you know what i mean? i like the dignity in that because we aren't
slaves to just every brain fucking wannabe, we have to establish a
trust, and that means i have to really like the person. it is our
choice to be changed or to be murdered.. we might even choose noone
and do it ourself. i like the story of the noble man who is in his
own world and then a woman changes it all though, or something as
simple and to do with intimacy as that... after all the battling what
can kill the one who is unable to be killed, it is his own heart you
must trick it into leaving the cage.
but that's a dirty trick. you really have to love. if you are
immature i will kill you first, that is my attitude. i can't be
tricked again i am in control, i will change my life when i want and
how i want or with the people i want to change it. i hpe that speevie
and zanthius are reading this because it is a loophole i think we all
need inside our own world, we need some love and we need to listen to
somebody but don't make it easy for them.
dead
hmm... honestly i am more fluid. i take in alot but i make it part of
my story, and there is no total submission. i am growing larger than
can be completely reborn into a new ideology, i can't leave my world.
dead
im going to make it an issue to travel overseas once a year at the
least. next month maybe, and i will need an oxygen mask and protection
probably.
i'll describe how change effects me because it is like my ocd
reactions and so maybe they're quite the same... when i met W my ex
girlfriend, she abducted kidnapped or whatever my ass took me to her
house for 3 nights on the first day meeting one another. she was my
first girlfriend (RL) and i was in my twenties. soooo...... wow i was
like fucked up. i had never been into touching people before until
after her and then i had real embarassing times of trying not to touch
people around me even guys i was reaching for like all of a sudden a
skin contact thing was aroused in me from childhood. also... my world
was spinning out of control.. calling her crying about how screwed up
everything is i heard the sympathy in her voice and she said that "Oh
dear I destroyed your mind didn't I."...
the ocean is a good example... maybe a decade ago or less, i stopped
going to the ocean which is only 10 minutes away from where i live. i
had stood on a shark or... something as scary as that because i
couldn't friggin see could i, but when it came up it looked like a
shark next to me swimming away. so i left it all....long time later
returned to the beach and the same kind of experience of my world
spinning out of control and like the ocean had ripped my bubble open.
and i felt a very strong rebel come out of me, fighting for my egotism
and individuality against the nature of the entire universe symbolised
by the ocean which had made me sick. i was so ship wrecked i had this
strong side come out with bitterness toward everything. another
one..... i meditated on the tibetan compassion mantras, a tape i
bought from them when they visited here. i couldn't get it!!! the
block turned worse, the compassion they were trying to invoke in me
became frustration and then i was possessed by apparently a demonic
spirit or part of my brain actually hissing in reaction to them
changint (i meant chanting) for compassion.
i was a fucking alien mentality, even though i was a holistic one,
faced with the very real nature of the universe demanding my presence
and i became a hostile alien in return. hostile aint holistic.
honestly it has its place, but it is the very symptom of the depth of
a aliens alienation however broad his mind may become and adjustments
may appar to prove to himself... the holistic life is a fraud if this
basic hostility is such a ground to ones world. speevie should
understand aswell, that his small e ego is capital E and his capital E
Enlightenment is small e until he bridges himself with the world of
everybody he hates some more than he is able, which might mean being
greater than the world if they become stuck in the grudge while he
transforms beyond it... he's not reading though so why waste my
braeth.
ok.......change makes me sick. i'll sometimes try something big and
then back to the batcave....... all of it adds up and into the path
however. i make better tries at it the next time. more naturally
paced steps. big ones if that is called for actually. recently i put
myself through Troll E.T. (exposure therapy), i had an ecstacy, and i
think im going overseas next month. its all a lead up and it is what
it is aswell. im just letting life happen when i do this i hope. it
is very scary for me. physically im likely to hold onto material
objects if i leave the country as if i am scared of falling off the
planet all together... i know because that's what i do whenever
something is going on i have to hold onto reality. i'll have a really
weird dream and then it doesnt leave my eyes when im awake and there
is panic so i have to find familiarity most of all people i love are
important, people i already trust and love who are real people.
and out of the new experience... my wheel is like a seed, it doesn't
disappear. you can make it insignificant for a while, where i will
forget almost the meaning of what i am writing about like... who cares
anyway. but the delusion...the program of global importance will
rebegin in a new context and grow even larger and stronger... there is
no escape, the conspiracy has begun, resistence is futile. :) having
a lahf;) who am i to begin anything, i am an effect, all i am
responsible for is the way i have got all the effects together, and
that is my uniqeness but wot of it. sorry me i gotta say it like it
is. the hoopla is like a personal circus and i understand if noone
else is in the tent and sometimes i need a breather from the over
hoopla'd cycle of mind i am.
my jokes themself are so serious tainted i have to say somethin
totally dumb and meaningless at times just to shake me out of it. OR
when i am really unable to in joy the social context in any other way
JUST LEAVE
piph
>
> - Show quoted text -
reuben is that you?
Now after all these years you are still here imagining that you might
get something of substance? Something offered of love - not some
greedy need to be better than you in some way or use you?
You know - I wrote that paragraph in my own language becuase I don't
need to simply repeat ideas to myself - while if you would spend a few
of those australian dollars and buy a set of "Psychological
Commentaries on the teaching of GUrdjieff and Ouspensky" by Maurice
Nicoll, for instance - you would have so much worthy data for your own
edification, relatively speaking, in no time you would be able to
apply some for some real movement and then teach these guys at the
forum.
For example - I know this remark is not to the point of my remark re:
the container - and that remark is a little more for someone who has
already done some work to rewire shit and therefore knows - without
someone else telling them - that it is possible..
Still here is a remark from the commentaries -
"When we are introduced to the work and after many years begin to feel
there may be something in it, we are close to the possibility of
acting from the Work-ideas instead of those ideas that have been laid
down in us automatically, and a person awakening to the Work and
evaluating it will begin to think in a new way--that is, to undergo
metanoia. Now to think in a new way means that you have new
associative paths in your brain. The mind, working through the brain,
is capable of infinite development, and its basis lies in the fact
that we have these enormous tracts unused in the frontal lobes..."
snipped
I can't type the whole book but doesn't this one paragraph contain
something for you?
piph
reuben - this is pretty good what you wrote.
interesting that you identify the process of being the beginning of
insanity for your poor old brain, too. I am not at all surprised. How
could it be otherwise? The brain creates a container to quell the
impulses that won't stop.
Is n't this exactly what people do to calm themselves? Isn't this the
reason people have a context called "religion" for example, to create
a calming context within which all of the confounding unknowns of life
can be tossed?
so why shouldn't the brain be able to wire up a container that is, in
essence, an energetic context that contains, comprehends and then
therefore dwarfs into an small and nearly insignificant bucket all of
the prior activities of the brain that seemed so damned important just
one minute ago?
dead
im chuckled like gordon. i bout the psychological evolution of man
when you told me to i will get this aswell then, thank you.
>
> For example - I know this remark is not to the point of my remark re:
> the container - and that remark is a little more for someone who has
> already done some work to rewire shit and therefore knows - without
> someone else telling them - that it is possible..
>
trick-le
> Still here is a remark from the commentaries -
>
> "When we are introduced to the work and after many years begin to feel
> there may be something in it, we are close to the possibility of
> acting from the Work-ideas instead of those ideas that have been laid
> down in us automatically, and a person awakening to the Work and
> evaluating it will begin to think in a new way--that is, to undergo
> metanoia. Now to think in a new way means that you have new
> associative paths in your brain. The mind, working through the brain,
> is capable of infinite development, and its basis lies in the fact
> that we have these enormous tracts unused in the frontal lobes..."
> snipped
>
> I can't type the whole book but doesn't this one paragraph contain
> something for you?
its where im at isnt it. im maybe travelling to htailand that will be
an experience for my brain to contextualize won't it.. also im
beginning actually i'd rather not speak of it because i have taken a
silent oath of silence. thank you piph.
dead
thanks! im 'cuckled' damn i am real on this absinthe tonight.
> interesting that you identify the process of being the beginning of
> insanity for your poor old brain, too. I am not at all surprised. How
> could it be otherwise? The brain creates a container to quell the
> impulses that won't stop.
never boring, not true i am that twisted i am even psychoticallys
split betwen fatigue boredom and restless nutsoness. thre is more to
it i cant explain.
>
> Is n't this exactly what people do to calm themselves? Isn't this the
> reason people have a context called "religion" for example, to create
> a calming context within which all of the confounding unknowns of life
> can be tossed?
>
> so why shouldn't the brain be able to wire up a container that is, in
> essence, an energetic context that contains, comprehends and then
> therefore dwarfs into an small and nearly insignificant bucket all of
> the prior activities of the brain that seemed so damned important just
> one minute ago?
yes thats what im doing trick-le and trick-um. ive got this new
perspective coming its a bit late i wont call rape i love the higher
man, woman, whatever i am.
piph
Thank god you can't explain! You can explain and analyse til you are
in the grave and it won't make a damn bit of difference.
>
>
>
> > Is n't this exactly what people do to calm themselves? Isn't this the
> > reason people have a context called "religion" for example, to create
> > a calming context within which all of the confounding unknowns of life
> > can be tossed?
>
> > so why shouldn't the brain be able to wire up a container that is, in
> > essence, an energetic context that contains, comprehends and then
> > therefore dwarfs into an small and nearly insignificant bucket all of
> > the prior activities of the brain that seemed so damned important just
> > one minute ago?
>
> yes thats what im doing trick-le and trick-um. ive got this new
> perspective coming its a bit late i wont call rape i love the higher
> man, woman, whatever i am.- Hide quoted text -
>
Well, if this is what you are doing you little fucking alien you
better remember - your Work is meaningless unless you can bring it
back here to the land of bugs as it were...solidly as an artifact.
Your head can be in the clouds while your feet must also be solidly on
the ground... the next higher quantum dimension contains this
dimension - don't forget it! even if you achieve your aim - you could
become worthless to us, to me.. to anyone
dead
yeah some thines are like that :)
>
>
>
>
> > > Is n't this exactly what people do to calm themselves? Isn't this the
> > > reason people have a context called "religion" for example, to create
> > > a calming context within which all of the confounding unknowns of life
> > > can be tossed?
>
> > > so why shouldn't the brain be able to wire up a container that is, in
> > > essence, an energetic context that contains, comprehends and then
> > > therefore dwarfs into an small and nearly insignificant bucket all of
> > > the prior activities of the brain that seemed so damned important just
> > > one minute ago?
>
> > yes thats what im doing trick-le and trick-um. ive got this new
> > perspective coming its a bit late i wont call rape i love the higher
> > man, woman, whatever i am.- Hide quoted text -
>
> Well, if this is what you are doing you little fucking alien you
> better remember - your Work is meaningless unless you can bring it
> back here to the land of bugs as it were...solidly as an artifact.
> Your head can be in the clouds while your feet must also be solidly on
> the ground... the next higher quantum dimension contains this
> dimension - don't forget it! even if you achieve your aim - you could
> become worthless to us, to me.. to anyone
:DDD hehehe... anyway, aurobindo let his body die so he could work
more efficiently from the higher planes on the material dimension.
atleast he kept humans in mind huh.
i wont be doing that! heavens gate is the path uppa here, no looking
back ya. jesus im kidding ok. there are things in this world i do
want, and there are an enormous amount of things to go thru if i had
the energy and the dare. im not certain i have anything to give any
of the world on a large scale. they will have to vulture off my
buddhafat :)
the vulgaris thing-o is about that really, wrapping myself in my lower
and the world. its truely my nature, i am always going to be a vulgar
human kind of creature. it is about how to integrate the street level
with the higher dimensions. mu chi is one of the names for a higher
self i sense as feminine and psychic and in touch with the universal
mind, and in touch with the witness but not so...nothingy. Reuben is
the name for every self in me and the whole but is preferably left to
the lower and the adolescent alienated intellect mixed into that.
there is another higher self called it really doesn't matter.... they
split off and they integrate and they slump.
hope your not mind the way im thinking here. allison is funny about
it he probably would like to believe maybe he even does but im not
psychic or anything. its basic just an experience that comes and goes
and that is supposition. everything is but im not going to kid myself
i am having to clearly define the lower being and childish helicopter
intellect from the real deeper states.
^@%>---*=#
"piph" <illeg...@beepnet.com> wrote in message
news:8579249e-d52e-449d...@k1g2000prb.googlegroups.com...
>reuben is that you?
you who ?
>Now after all these years
still a share better than after all
those years doncha know
> you are still here imagining
it's all imagining
> that you might
it's all might
>get something
it's all something too
>of substance?
and not of substance too.
don't forget that.
> Something offered of
this just seems to be headed nowhere piph.
can you work on your cresendos a little ?
dead
> "piph" <illegals...@beepnet.com> wrote in message
the big man. facing this part of myself that is like, though im not
thinking of allison at all, this part of me is fucked about being hurt
and i will react with 'play fight' or perhaps i believe the grudge is
valid and allowed to be experssed, and i think im right compared to
anything the opposition says because they are annihiliated by the way
i argue and give up only feeling that they had something. but its not
until the re reading of an episode that the way i am a nasty little
twerp sifts clear, and that my reaction is based more on old hurts
than the situation before me. really its strange to see the nastiness
and the egotism that leaks under the justifications.. atleast im
probably the first person in the universe to ever admit it.
^@%>---*=#
"dead" <kosmi...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:b7d70c48-e3e7-41bd...@l28g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
you've kept track of the entire universe ?
must keep you quite busy.
piph
> "piph" <illegals...@beepnet.com> wrote in message
I would have read your grande addition to this thread even if you
hadn't downgraded the title
piph
> "dead" <kosmicg...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> - Show quoted text -
Are you kidding? Busy is this kid's chief feature
^@%>---*=#
my p0asts are rhetorical